Virgins of All Ages: How to Brothel

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Luna shares her approach to supporting virgins of all ages and genders through their partnered sexual debuts at the ranch. She explores the many definitions of virginity, offers detailed session types tailored to different needs and goals, and reflects on the joy of co-creating confidence-building, pleasure-filled first experiences. Plus: double-virgin stories, consent frameworks, and masturbation meditation prep tips!

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00:00:00:03 - 00:00:27:05

Luna

Welcome to How to Brothel a go woohoo yourself mini series. This episode is about parties at the ranch for virgins of all ages. If you would like to read the written version with all my personal commentary, you can find all my posts on my website. Luna. Ravikumar. Thank you. This is also where you can ask me any questions that I haven't covered yet, since all of these guides are inspired and prioritized by the most common questions I get from friends, lovers, and other curious humans.

00:00:27:07 - 00:00:53:17

Luna

This episode in particular, I got a lot of questions about. So let's dive in. My first time a partnered sexual debut. Winning the Virgin is Asian. While the concept of losing one's virginity is often associated with harmful purity culture and is rooted in a concept that reduces women to a marriage chattel and devalues them from doing something that is totally natural.

00:00:53:18 - 00:01:14:19

Luna

I also do hear from tons of dudes who feel pressure to lose their virginity by a certain age. Thank you. 40 year old virgin. The right time I am using air quotes is different for everyone, but if you are ready to experience partnered pleasure and you want the confidence that can come from being shepherded through milestones with an experienced, caring guide, I wish I had had this.

00:01:14:21 - 00:01:41:01

Luna

Visiting a legal brothel is definitely a great option. So first let's talk about the definition of virgin. Going all the way with a partner is the simplest definition, yet this can mean very different things to different people. For many straight people, losing virginity again air quotes happens when they quote have sex for the first time, usually meaning penis and vagina have sex.

00:01:41:03 - 00:02:15:08

Luna

For others, it is getting all the basics kissing and hand stuff and mouth stuff, plus the home run of penetration. But usually they just mean pussy. They don't also mean anal like no one's like I finally lost my virginity. I did all five things like anal is not usually assumed or anal virginity is often specified, although in some heavily religious places, like where I grew up, it is also known as a loophole and doesn't count more air quotes and sex for ladies who are saving their pussies for a future husband.

00:02:15:10 - 00:02:42:07

Luna

For gay men, however, anal is usually part of the definition for virginity loss, with some guys further specifying between losing their top, their penis giving and bottom anal receiving. First time. Some lesbians may also include these differentiations, and queer femmes I've spoken with tend to have the most open definitions of sex, while also seeming to have the highest amount of sex related communication and satisfaction.

00:02:42:07 - 00:03:07:12

Luna

I do feel like they go together for some lady lady pairings, penetration is never part of the equation, but genital related pleasure with hands and mouths typically is. I have only heard strap on virginity used as its own separate delineation for someone's first time, and I have not yet met anyone who identifies as lesbian, but feels they needed a dildo to competently do or be done by a partner.

00:03:07:14 - 00:03:26:19

Luna

I've also noticed that bisexual and or pansexual lovers tend to specify losing their gay and straight virginity, and usually these reports have the spirit of exploration and playfulness. You know, like it's like a fun thing to get your queer virginity lost or like, oh, I finally got the straight one. And then there's some people who are like, I'm a gold star lesbian, all types.

00:03:26:21 - 00:03:49:17

Luna

And in these cases, I've had one anecdotal instance of a lady differentiating between strapping a lady lover and donning a dick to peg a penis owner in the butthole. So you can really, like, split these definitions into lots of categories if you think about it in certain ways, which I love to do. And some people call that overthinking, but I call it specificity.

00:03:49:19 - 00:04:16:18

Luna

Further, orgasms are part of it for some people, or sometimes only for one person in the pair. But most people still think the virgin is intense, even if neither party comes. I do interview a lot of people like, yeah, we didn't come or he came or I didn't come on, you know, and while I've yet to meet a person who dislikes orgasm, I do know people, myself included, who do not need to get their more quote to experience a ton of pleasure or define an experience of sex.

00:04:16:19 - 00:04:37:04

Luna

I have also encountered individuals who identify as Virgin 2.0 ohs virgins 2.0. Either they had such little experience, or the gap in their sex lives has been so long that they feel like they are starting all over, and there often tends to be a large amount of anxiety in these categories because they're like, I'm. I'm whatever age I am, I should know better.

00:04:37:04 - 00:04:58:21

Luna

And I just think shoulds are so unhelpful here. So when I am at the ranch, my virgin lovers, regardless of gender, are typically seeking an experience that will boost confidence. And with me, this looks like interactive hands on tutorials that are tailored to each person. Details are below and typically include a mix of talk and touch designed to empower communication and exploration with future partners.

00:04:58:23 - 00:05:23:17

Luna

Why I love it. Well, I spent years in young adulthood wishing that I had someone I could trust to really help me understand sex. You might also say I've dedicated my entire adult life to this cause in some ways, and now I get to be the sexy mentor that younger me always wished for. I had plenty of great partners in my early 20s.

00:05:23:18 - 00:05:42:02

Luna

However, I had not developed my communication skills and I was mostly following the lead of people who I assumed were more experienced than I was also very heteronormative for the most part. Like I didn't know I was queer until I was 25. Like, I started fooling around with ladies before then, but I was like, well, everyone does that.

00:05:42:04 - 00:06:02:22

Luna

All ladies fool around with other ladies, don't you know? And so I was often following the lead of people who I assumed were more experienced than I was. And it was not until much later that I learned how much more quality of experience matters than quantity. And later I would add to that the richness of communication and connection make a huge difference.

00:06:03:00 - 00:06:22:00

Luna

At 27, I met a partner who had a wealth of knowledge to share, who loved how full of desire I was, and created a connection of safety and trust that allowed me to explore my own erotic self on a whole new level by asking me on our first date, what if you never had to feel embarrassed in front of me?

00:06:22:01 - 00:06:47:17

Luna

This level of care is what I now aspire to offer each of my lovers, and it is especially exciting when I get to help form delicious, healthy pleasure patterns in partnership. From the get go. So my sex nerd parts that have been on a focused mission of practical, relatable, entertaining sex education since 2018 get really excited to create a custom tailored curriculum on the fly.

00:06:47:19 - 00:07:13:02

Luna

And sometimes my relationship coaching and photographer parts also get to come out and play when people are embarking a new on dating apps. And I also love it because it's special. It's really sweet and it's super hot. Details and variations. Whether someone shows up for a quickie just so they can cross it off their list or save up so we can take our time and spend an hour or few together.

00:07:13:04 - 00:07:33:05

Luna

As long as we have priorities and clarity, we can have a fantastic time. So I've broken this down into some of the different categories because they're slightly different, but have overlapping experiences. We'll start with the bucket list. It's sometimes seven minutes in heaven is all someone needs. I had one partner who, in the most good natured way, just wanted to get it over with.

00:07:33:05 - 00:07:55:15

Luna

Those are his words, not mine, because he felt like he was building it up way too much and it was starting to create a mental block, and he just wanted to see that it could be easy and fun and done to be with another person without worrying about lasting too long. A quickie usually allows for a little warmup, a couple of positions, and a finale, and sometimes it's extremely satisfying to be a little more goal oriented.

00:07:55:17 - 00:08:23:06

Luna

However, I only recommend this route for someone who does not struggle with nervousness. The next category I would call the basics of basic sex. If we have a solid 30 minutes to spend together, this can definitely be enough time to do what is basically a little sampler platter. It's enough time to model communication to show a few different ways that I like to explore and rouse a partner's body before getting to genitals to go over pussy anatomy basics and variations to look out for.

00:08:23:06 - 00:08:44:01

Luna

Since every vulva is unique, then there's a show and tell for hand pussy pleasure, and I especially like to emphasize delicious teasing, not just trying to get me to come as fast as possible. And I certainly teach them how to not just like directly poke. If someone needs direct poking, they will ask for it. So we typically have time to practice rhythms in the classic positions or whatever.

00:08:44:01 - 00:09:07:14

Luna

Variations make the most sense for how our bodies fit together, and that can include cowgirl, missionary, doggy, or spooning. Probably the most popular session here is the classic tutorial. This is usually an hour ish and gives us time to move more slowly as we explore the touch and talk and positions mentioned above. And this session also allows space to play with oral in both directions.

00:09:07:16 - 00:09:31:09

Luna

I can show you exactly how slow and gentle to go when starting out with your tongue on a vulva. I will teach you how to communicate even if your mouth is otherwise occupied. And over and over again, I will remind you to be slower and gentler and to connect and check in. And then I'll also tell you when and how to go fast and firm and on pressure and all of that.

00:09:31:11 - 00:09:52:12

Luna

And then we'll switch and I will offer you not just an incredible experience of oral sex. It is one of my specialties, but I will show you how to create a safe space with future partners who have quite likely had bad experiences getting ahead. There are so many horror stories out there, and I'll show you how to communicate in ways that invite the pleasure that you would like to receive from future partners, right?

00:09:52:12 - 00:10:30:14

Luna

So both directions, and if you've listened to the episode on turning nervous people into sex guards, that's the framework that I use. And so I also like to teach my especially my penis having virgin partners, I'd like to teach them how to have a communication framework from their perspective, to invite partners to experience pleasure and joy. I love these sessions because while I am listing all of this linearly in order to organize for writing and reading purposes, this longer session really allows us to sample everything and then go back to the parts that we want to explore to move organically.

00:10:30:18 - 00:10:52:15

Luna

And one of my favorite things about sex is co-creating a playground that is made from our bodies that we can together decide how we want to pinwheel through, rather than the escalator of. Like all of the bases where we are required to go from I will kiss you and then I will touch you with my hands, and then we will touch each other with mouths, and then there will be gentle toll to genital contact.

00:10:52:15 - 00:11:27:18

Luna

And now it's over, you know, like that's less interesting to me. I love this, that. Oh, that feels good. Oh, I want more of this. I got to put this mouth back here. So for anyone who feels nervous, this is probably the minimum length of time that you will want. Then there's extended lessons, which can include dating, coaching for those who want a really leisurely amount of time to practice, we can lose track of time for those who have a lot of questions about sex, or if you are with me specifically, you can ask me all the questions about human patterns and relationships.

00:11:27:20 - 00:11:52:22

Luna

Or if you want help taking pictures for and or writing your dating profile, I definitely recommend this session. So it's like hands on, but we hit multiple levels over the number of hours. This allows us plenty of time to connect and drop in, to visit and revisit and revisit and revisit different experiences of pleasure together. Since it's fun for me at least to see how my arousal changes minute to minute, hour to hour.

00:11:53:00 - 00:12:12:02

Luna

And we can also have multiple rounds between talking, whether it's about relationships or simply seeing what it's like to create relationship in intimate space with another person. I did meet one young man who was so nervous to even be talking to a woman at all, since he had only ever been around girls in high school, he had been shy.

00:12:12:02 - 00:12:39:20

Luna

He was raised by his uncle. He only had brothers, and the job that he'd had for his first six years of adulthood was with all male coworkers. So he had like no experience talking to adult women at all. I also have spoken with many dudes through the years who have had really painful experiences being friendzone, so it can be really, really fun to show how a friendship can be the launchpad for a different level of connection, when the right mutual energy is there, and that energy needs to be co-created.

00:12:39:23 - 00:12:59:12

Luna

And I also help them invite that energy with their own confidence. Right? Because the invitation is a huge part of the result. In another instance, a client wanted to have the entire experience of picking someone up for a date and then going home and going all the way, which is really smart and fun. I was like, oh, how did I not think of that?

00:12:59:12 - 00:13:20:14

Luna

But I'm like, yes, yes, yes. It's so good for our animal bodies to have the nervous system practice of, you know, basically role playing the whole thing. And so we went swimming, we flirted, we ate lunch together, we teased each other, we played strip Jenga, we took a bubble bath, and then we organically felt our way, piece by piece, into, oh, do we want to go further?

00:13:20:14 - 00:13:39:22

Luna

You know, I taught consent language as we went, but it's not like I am teaching you consent. Now you have to worry. You're going to do something wrong. It's like I showed him how to get greenlights for each step. And I also practice being like, I'm not ready, you know? And then I pretended like time passed in between because I don't want to foster situations where it's like, you know, okay, now push and get it.

00:13:39:22 - 00:13:54:07

Luna

Yes. Because that is very normal in our culture. But I was like, okay, okay, now pretend like one day has gone by and this is our second date. Whatever. So it was very fun. It was weird. There was a lot of guidance woven in with me using phrases like, Will you do it like this? Could you try this now?

00:13:54:07 - 00:14:20:04

Luna

You know. And so that's that's a situation where when someone wants to have the experience of feeling like I can lead a scenario, but they actually don't have experience doing it. And that's where my submissive qualities really come in handy, because I can definitely frame it from any direction. In a separate scenario, I had a really sweet submissive who wanted me to come on strong the entire session to like, overpower him, to give him orders the entire time.

00:14:20:06 - 00:14:39:05

Luna

And then I sent him on his way to either find a dominant partner to please, or if he ended up, you know, falling for someone who wanted him to lead. I kind of showed him the framework of pleasing me by serving her as a top, if need be. So his mistress would be very proud of him if he served his partner.

00:14:39:05 - 00:14:59:22

Luna

Really, really well and practiced his dominant qualities. And I could give flex if he needed that. So that was that was really fun too. So sky's the limit. This session definitely allows for the greatest experience of intimacy and whether someone well, I guess overnight would be the greatest, but that could be a lot for someone's first time. But you know, some people I haven't had that happen yet.

00:14:59:23 - 00:15:27:06

Luna

Maybe that will happen someday, I don't know, but whether someone comes in with a specific or vague set of goals, whether they're nervous or very excited in their body, it definitely allows for maximum amount of exploration and play. Another version is to bring a friend. I love when dudes are close enough and open enough with each other to share their experience status with one another.

00:15:27:08 - 00:15:49:09

Luna

Once upon a time, Gigi and I met a pair of virgin friends. We hit it off, we paired off, and not long after, the two of us were diverge, analyzing the two of them in parallel, one while away from each other. And it's extra hot because just because you have a room next to someone doesn't mean the head of your bed is going to be next to the head of their bed on the opposite side of the wall, but in this case, it was.

00:15:49:09 - 00:16:13:20

Luna

And it was like such a cool, poetic moment. And once upon a time, a couple of years later, Gigi and I met a different pair of friends. Hit it off. But when it came time to pair off, we had a hard time choosing who would be with Lou, and they were not up for a full foursome. In fact, they admitted it would be a first time for each of them.

00:16:13:22 - 00:16:38:03

Luna

So Gigi and I got extremely excited and in a whispered sidebar conversation of the night. You know, because we because we also have to communicate with each other about, like, is this a good idea? I didn't want to, like, throw it out in front of them. Before joking with her. We decided to offer them a swapping scenario so they could have their first and second times together back to back, and to make a very hot double Virgin story.

00:16:38:03 - 00:16:56:16

Luna

Succinct. A great time was had by all. We also in that case had rooms where the heads of our bed were on opposite sides of the wall. And I will always and forever remember the moment where we realized that we did not have a plan for swapping naked men in the hallway. So instead of like, ruining the flow by making them, we got all the way dressed again and then undressing them all the way.

00:16:56:16 - 00:17:15:01

Luna

And like, I know some people are into that, but I prefer naked. We just decided to wrap each one in our respective kimono robes and treated them back later. So we were like to do it, leaving these two men wearing our kimono. That was so cute! It was so cute. So there's some very memorable virgin stories and it's really, really sweet.

00:17:15:01 - 00:17:34:01

Luna

And it's so special. When I hear from partners who I have gotten to support in their sexual debut, when they write to me later and they tell me how it's changed their life for their confidence, they've gone on to have other experiences like it's really, really sweet and touching and hot and cute and all of the things that make me tingly and happy.

00:17:34:03 - 00:18:02:06

Luna

And also with the ranch, we've had plenty of uncles and grandparents, and sometimes even parents bring in a younger generation for their own sexual debut. And while the extent of my direct experience in these kinds of situations because sometimes the parent or uncle or grandparent will also party. And so it's like, you know, a fun parallel. My direct experience is limited to giving head rubs and back scratches to a dad who was like, very respectfully monogamous.

00:18:02:06 - 00:18:35:01

Luna

Close stayed on, you know, but he he was like, oh, okay. You know, a little something, something. And he was wingman for his son. So however it unfolds, I say, more power to you as long as all parties involved are there comfortably and consensually. An important note. And this is not just limited to virgins. If you have trained yourself to come with porn, especially vigorously, especially without lube, I really, really invite you to explore different parts of your erotic being solo in different ways before inviting a partner in in any context.

00:18:35:03 - 00:19:01:05

Luna

So I do a masturbation meditation sensation exploration of edging every September as my own personal back to school. Yes, the videos are available on onlyfans.com/lunar. Woo hoo ha! Link is in the description below so that when I experiment with touching myself in direct, mindful ways every day for 10 to 20 minutes to see what I discover, and I do my best to not cum the entire month.

00:19:01:06 - 00:19:33:09

Luna

Or if you want to explore nonphysical touch before you meet up with a lady of your choice, you could definitely explore written erotica or audio. People are always telling me about the subreddit gone. While audio or their longer form stuff. Some people get off to this podcast. I definitely, definitely get into details on the classic how to woo episodes that I know some people are very into, but I encourage you to explore in ways that call to you, you know, follow your creative inspiration that, in my experience, always leads to the hottest, most interesting places.

00:19:33:09 - 00:19:53:23

Luna

And you might discover things about yourself that you don't know. You know, I have not yet fully dived into my erotic bucket list, but it's very long and it's waiting for me. It's coming soon. Also, if you are a penis owner and you have desensitized yourself with very intense or rough stimulation, the advice that Emily Morse gives is to try masturbating in a condom.

00:19:54:01 - 00:20:10:18

Luna

So I have not directly heard from anyone who has done this. If you have, or if you're willing to do it, could you please write to me about it? Like do it slowly? I'm like, do this with me. In the September masturbation edging this year. But I am so excited for the day where I finally interview someone who has done it enough times to have meaningful data.

00:20:10:18 - 00:20:34:10

Luna

And that's that's the recommendation that she gives, especially if there's condom anxiety happening in your brain. So virgin parties, who is it for? I would say anyone at any age who wants to feel safe and supported in connection. That includes. But it's not limited to physical touch regardless of previous experience or, as the title suggests, virgins of all ages.

00:20:34:12 - 00:20:53:10

Luna

So remember to read the written versions of this episode. You can find my How to Brothel guide on my website at Luna Rob E-commerce FAQ. I love hearing from you, so please reach out with any reflections, questions, and resulting experiences and follow your hearts and follow your parts. And remember to share sex stories.