Squirting MILF Era: Billy Procida’s Update
- Luna Robbie
- May 28, 2024
- 48 min read
Heterosexual cis male, he/him pronouns, stand-up comedian, host of The Manwhore Podcast, based in New York City
🔗 BILLY LINKS | the manwhore podcast / @billyisprocida / @thebillyprocida / @callmebilly
00:00:00:02 - 00:00:28:08
Luna
And our guest today is a standup comedian in New York City and host of the Man Whore podcast, which recently celebrated ten fucking years on air. Congratulations, sir. He also hosts a monthly naked comedy show in Brooklyn, which I still really need to go see. I got to go to New York this year. Originally a guest, my very first podcast or guest on episode 22, Naked Comedy and a guinea pig for my professional sex toys experiment in episode 212 last year A Beginner's Guide to Play Parties.
00:00:28:14 - 00:00:33:23
Luna
Welcome back. My funny first podcast friend Billy Procida.
00:00:34:01 - 00:00:36:08
Billy
What's up? Thanks for having me back.
00:00:36:10 - 00:00:47:05
Luna
I'm so happy to have you back. You know, it's so funny. When you were sleeping on my couch last September, I can't believe we didn't even record an episode. I guess I was his or his home theater, but, like, what a missed opportunity.
00:00:47:07 - 00:00:55:10
Billy
That we know is no record. And there is a sexiness. I mean, it was just a, like, very stoned hands.
00:00:55:12 - 00:01:15:15
Luna
Yeah. Can I tell you what I remember? Good. Yeah. You were like me. What? You remember? I remember. Do we? Yeah, I remember you came back and you had California weed and you were smoking. You were like. And we were, like, talking at the table. But then you were just like, whoa, California weed is crazy. And then we got to new Jersey and you just passed out.
00:01:15:21 - 00:01:27:08
Luna
But I also remember, like, being in the background, like giggling and working while you were recording intros or something, you know, like we were co-working. I do love co-working. Like, it's maybe my next favorite thing to sex.
00:01:27:10 - 00:01:33:21
Billy
Yeah. You're not you're from the co-working. Cause like, your tits are sometimes out and it's like, oh, there's, like, good scenery.
00:01:33:23 - 00:01:38:16
Luna
That's right. Yeah. You're. Wow. Was I naked around you? Just regular. I was regular naked around you. I love that.
00:01:38:16 - 00:01:57:04
Billy
We're, like, regular naked, but, like, you were definitely topless for a bit. Yeah, I think you were, like, in a robe. Like I got a flash maybe, I think, but, like, we I, I would have expected far more dedicated. Like nudity time really, like, I, I would, I would I could have sworn we were going to jerk off together and yeah.
00:01:57:05 - 00:01:58:19
Billy
No. Got too sleepy.
00:01:58:21 - 00:02:06:06
Luna
Damn. Okay. So good lesson. And I really need clear expectations. And also, okay, I can do more things.
00:02:06:06 - 00:02:14:22
Billy
Like, since I met you, we have discussed over text, like the concept of either masturbating together or like watching me masturbate.
00:02:15:00 - 00:02:15:21
Luna
I thought.
00:02:15:23 - 00:02:17:13
Billy
Never, never has it happened.
00:02:17:18 - 00:02:21:15
Luna
Well, so here's the thing. I thought Joy was our first talk about, but I had.
00:02:21:20 - 00:02:23:12
Billy
Yeah, like all sorts of versions of that.
00:02:23:15 - 00:02:41:09
Luna
Yeah. I have only done two partnered things ever. One of the second one was last week. The first one was like a couple years ago, and I was like, hold on, I gotta fucking figure this out because I'm, you know, we're we're our own flavors of neuroscience. Yeah. And finding the overlap is great. But, you know, I also trust the divine timing.
00:02:41:09 - 00:03:02:20
Luna
And I also am learning that I just have very specific, like, I really have to, like, organize my headspace. I think I'm also, like, excited to learn from you. I think my goal is this my goal of the conversation? No, but maybe it is now. Like, maybe you could teach me how to be mean. I mean, I have been doing more dominant bits in work situations.
00:03:02:22 - 00:03:10:04
Luna
I might need, you know, but you told me that I am so nice. I'm not saying you're mean. I feel like you could help me be mean somehow.
00:03:10:04 - 00:03:16:10
Billy
Or just. I know I don't think I can help you because I don't really, like, know how to be mean. Like, so I think, like, I guess.
00:03:16:10 - 00:03:22:00
Luna
People are kind but not nice, and West Coast people are nice. You're the one that told me that I think, right? It's not.
00:03:22:01 - 00:03:40:13
Billy
Yes, yes y'all will like. Yeah. New Yorkers will will help you pick your shit up if you drop a bag of stuff. But we'll call you a fucking idiot while we help you. And y'all will, say, oh my God, I love you so much while you literally walk on top of a homeless person.
00:03:40:15 - 00:03:45:20
Luna
Dude, it's too real. I don't do that for the record, but, no.
00:03:45:20 - 00:03:52:06
Billy
No, you would, you would never. But, you know, see, you floats just everywhere you go. So you don't have to walk on top of anybody.
00:03:52:10 - 00:03:53:12
Luna
Oh, no, I just.
00:03:53:14 - 00:03:55:15
Billy
I, I got a little doesn't carry you.
00:03:55:17 - 00:03:57:00
Luna
Here's Houston glitter.
00:03:57:02 - 00:03:59:03
Billy
I hope I hope this glitter helps you find what you're.
00:03:59:03 - 00:04:03:04
Luna
Looking for. I do offer but.
00:04:03:05 - 00:04:18:20
Billy
Yeah it's really good. Like neither of us actually, like, make moves to, like, do anything sexual when we're ever together. But we have said we've like, talked about it multiple times over the years, yet neither was really ever actually like, takes a step when push comes to shove. We're all talk. Why? Oh, do.
00:04:18:20 - 00:04:24:05
Luna
You want me to be in charge next time? Because I just have to have someone to tell me to be in charge and I'll do it. But otherwise I'm like, oh no.
00:04:24:05 - 00:04:31:16
Billy
No, no. I know, it's just like an interesting observation like that. We are we are both all talk, but neither of us actually take steps or anything like that. I like, interesting.
00:04:31:19 - 00:04:38:04
Luna
Well, I'm still very much figuring out what a personal sex life looks like right now. You know, I've been in this.
00:04:38:06 - 00:04:40:17
Billy
You were talking about that when I was over at your place.
00:04:40:21 - 00:04:59:05
Luna
Okay, well, now I'm revealing how much I haven't figured out since last September. And it's May now, but, you know, it's the I trust the divine unfolding. Do you want to noodle on some nuke? Oh, why don't you start by giving us, like, what are the updates of Billy's sex life right now? Like, like since we talked a year ago or since I saw you?
00:04:59:05 - 00:05:14:00
Luna
Besides us not sucking yet or dying or whatever. What have you been up to? What have you done that's been thrilling or disappointing? If you want to share that or, like, yummy or what have you been curious about?
00:05:14:02 - 00:05:34:12
Billy
I've been really up and down. Mostly I was like, down, like 20, 23 was like me on a chilled out year, which is interesting because then, like, I remember, like, crunching the numbers and it was like, oh, this is like a normal person stat line. So I had to remember that when I say like, oh, it was basically kind of like a, a cool down sex life.
00:05:34:12 - 00:05:51:14
Billy
It's like, that's a lot of people's like normal amount of sex. I go, oh yeah, because I'm a big. Oh. And so if I, if I only have sex with a few people this year, like if I don't have sex for three months, I'm like, what's wrong? And most people are like, yeah, yeah, no, that's like kind of normal.
00:05:51:16 - 00:06:10:20
Billy
But, I would say over the last couple of months, last few months, like, things have been picking up and I've been feeling libidinous. I've been feeling a drive, I've been feeling excited to connect with people again. I haven't been smoking weed every single day. Which is. Yeah. Shocker. One kind of goes with the other.
00:06:11:02 - 00:06:31:04
Billy
And, and then even more recently, last maybe month and a half, two months, I've been even open to not just sex, but like, connect, like real like like an intimate connection. I've been craving intimacy, and I've been open to it. It's been a long few couple of years getting over a breakup, and, so I just started getting back out there.
00:06:31:04 - 00:06:48:10
Billy
And so over the last couple of months, I've been having some stories and I've been, again, like, connecting with people. I'm not. And I've been really too many with too much with the apps. Like, really just stumbling upon fun people in my world, like, I got, my first, like, proper referral recently, like the of something where like.
00:06:48:10 - 00:06:50:05
Luna
Partner, like a former, like a.
00:06:50:07 - 00:07:14:13
Billy
Partner, but like a it's like a friend that knows a lot of it's a friend who, like, she knows a lot about, like, my sex life. And she has. We were out like, at her husband's, like, birthday party. She said, hey, do you know anyone who would want to have sex with a, a 38 year old mILF, a mother of two who's just recently divorced, and she hasn't been in with anyone in 18 months.
00:07:14:15 - 00:07:19:06
Billy
I you're like, why? Why are you asking me if I know anyone where I'm. I'm right.
00:07:19:06 - 00:07:22:05
Luna
Here. Right here.
00:07:22:06 - 00:07:44:18
Billy
I said show me a picture. She's super cute. So, she connects me with her friend, and it was it I I've been having, like, almost, like, rebuild some sexual confidence simply because I haven't been doing it much. Like, 2023 was the year of me mostly giving oral. Like, I wasn't fucking a lot. I was having a hard time receiving pleasure, like blowjobs.
00:07:44:18 - 00:07:49:09
Billy
Unless I was in the most heightened eroticized. So they were hard to receive.
00:07:49:11 - 00:07:57:19
Luna
And like, I just like, I didn't know that if you had told me that September, it might have been different. Because literally, if I have a job to do, I'm like, okay, you know, and also simply.
00:07:57:20 - 00:08:15:18
Billy
As somebody like get wanting to give me a blowjob is about like me being able to receive it. Like I just like my relationship with pleasure and my body and libido was all over the fucking place. But like, you know what? Like eating pussy, fingering, making out. These are things I don't my penis doesn't have to like. I have to worry about what kind of movies in.
00:08:15:20 - 00:08:32:11
Billy
Yeah, I can just do that. And it's fun. It's not like I'm not like, disappointed doing it. It's just. But it's almost like a different part of my brain. It's a different part of my fucking brain. Like it's I'm not aroused all the time. Sometimes I go into this like I'm getting a job done. It's really fun. I'm going to make this person feel great.
00:08:32:13 - 00:08:56:01
Billy
But that was most of last year because I just I was on that place. And so as I've been reentering sexually, I've been needing to play around with the stakes mostly lowering them, lowering pressure and not putting myself in high pressure sexual situations like I might be used to, you know, like I'm. Yeah, I've been to a lot of gang bangs, but like, I, I may not be, like, ready for gangbang time right now.
00:08:56:03 - 00:09:17:21
Billy
I'm not, not one of the prime time gang bang players at the moment. I need to take a beat. So it's actually really cool because, like, you know, I met up for drinks with this woman, and, you know, she's only got, like, two days a week, or she doesn't have the kids, and she hasn't. She left her ex-husband 18 months ago, hadn't had sex with anyone since.
00:09:17:23 - 00:09:33:23
Billy
And she's like, really clear. She's like, I'm not looking for someone to fall in love with. I'm looking for someone who's respectful and fun and, like, can give me orgasms and like I said, I'm like, okay, cool. And also the stakes are so low because she's she's not even like she's I have the time or space to really search around.
00:09:33:23 - 00:09:56:11
Billy
She's only got her friends. Her friend network is is trying to set her up with with some dick and so cool cool. Because like, I don't have to be the best sex of her life right now. I need to show her a good time. And, I don't know, there's something about, like when you do sex for work and talk about sex for work, and sometimes I, you know, in the in this latter part of the career that the more recent part of my career ladder white I'm 34.
00:09:56:11 - 00:09:57:09
Billy
It's not close to over.
00:09:57:09 - 00:10:02:01
Luna
I know your ten years and wait, you're younger than me? I just turned 35. When's your birthday?
00:10:02:03 - 00:10:03:16
Billy
I turned 35 next month.
00:10:03:18 - 00:10:06:08
Luna
Okay. Okay, okay. Oh, right. You're a Gemini.
00:10:06:10 - 00:10:27:17
Billy
Yeah. Sometimes there's, like, expectations. I feel like if someone knows what I do for work or they've heard things or read some of my work, sometimes I kind of feel a pressure to perform and not just perform. Like to have a certain level of performance. I get that. And so again, since I haven't been having a lot of sex, I was like, fuck!
00:10:27:17 - 00:10:38:12
Billy
Like, do I suffer? It's kind of like, do I remember how to do this? Do I remember how to like, fuck? And it turns out I do. Then we fuck like 4 or 5 times in an afternoon.
00:10:38:14 - 00:10:40:12
Luna
It was great. How do you count the fucks.
00:10:40:14 - 00:10:51:06
Billy
Any time I, I got heart. We started having intercourse like us as a session. Not like. Yeah, yeah. You know, so, like, I didn't come. I think I.
00:10:51:06 - 00:10:51:21
Luna
Yeah.
00:10:51:23 - 00:11:14:09
Billy
We fucked 4 or 5 times and I came I think two times. Okay. Maybe three. Yeah. Two times because, we she after the first round, she, she took out, some weed and I, I always forget Billy. Don't do that. You're going to become, you know. So then the numbers two and three were like, oh, okay, we're going to fuck, but like, I'm not going to I'm not coming.
00:11:14:09 - 00:11:35:16
Billy
And then by the fourth fuck, I had like sobered up a bit. And then I was like, I know we can, we can make one more blast. And so, yeah, just it's wild. It really was like riding a bike and confidence. And that gave me some confidence in the afternoon. But confidence begets more confidence. A good experience can be get more good experience.
00:11:35:22 - 00:11:54:23
Billy
Right. And so I've been like get is this woman's been like every Saturday when she doesn't the kids like I go I go way up town and I, I have a fun time rolling around in bed with her and getting her off. And she's a massive squirter and but also, like, just I'm just fucking and having fun. Fucking.
00:11:54:23 - 00:12:12:10
Billy
I don't have to worry about, I don't know. And she's got a great attitude too. She's really securing herself. So like, if I lose an erection in one of the rounds, yeah, I'm not worried about it and she's not worried about it. And like, that means I can just be chill, which sometimes brings it right back.
00:12:12:15 - 00:12:13:04
Luna
Exactly.
00:12:13:04 - 00:12:20:01
Billy
So anyways, I've just been like. I've just been, like, coming back into my sexuality and, it feels good is fun.
00:12:20:03 - 00:12:41:08
Luna
I'm so glad to hear that. Can I ask a couple detail questions about your penis? Okay, sure. Specifically, I have been my obsession of the year. I realized that I really, really like when cocks go back and forth between hard and soft. Like, personally, like, I love the. I love the growing. I love the relaxing. I love that it extends the situation.
00:12:41:10 - 00:13:01:15
Luna
And you know, as I hear you talk about blowjobs and I, I was actually just talking with a lover about that same pressure. You know, the lover was talking about kind of the pressure that they feel with their main partner to like, have the hardness or fuck a certain way or be a certain way. And I'm like, I personally love having a soft cock in my mouth.
00:13:01:17 - 00:13:12:06
Luna
How is that for you? Do you feel like a pressure to be hard in those situations? Or like, would it be different if you knew your partner was like into a toy and whatever?
00:13:12:08 - 00:13:28:14
Billy
Well, yeah, you're asking like slightly different things in each one because it's like, when I'm soft and I'm getting if I'm aroused and I'm soft. Yeah, right. I mean, like, look like, right now you put your butt or maybe not right right now, but like, there's some times where, like, I'm you put my dick in a mouth and I'm like, I am.
00:13:28:14 - 00:13:54:04
Billy
So not even in that world. My head's not closed, like, whatever. But generally speaking, if I'm aroused and flaccid, it still feels good. Yeah. Right. So and then the about the pressure, it's just more sometimes when someone has my dick in her mouth and I'm not hard. It's a matter of do I think she's disappointed or confused or unsure of herself because I'm soft?
00:13:54:08 - 00:14:13:05
Billy
But if I know she doesn't read into that and she enjoys soft dick, just, you know as well as a hard dick, like then I then I can let go of that which just does then naturally make. It's all about like it's all this all fucking mental game until we get to a certain age. The fucking your blood flow is just fine.
00:14:13:05 - 00:14:35:04
Billy
Your body works just fine. Okay, so then it's just about like, getting relaxed. And actually, even before I linked up with this woman, I still hadn't. I fucked on New Year's Eve. It wasn't like, great. Like it wasn't like that. She was. Was just like, I know I wasn't doing the best my the best sex and I it was fine.
00:14:35:04 - 00:14:55:11
Billy
It was fine kind of quick and whatever kind of meaningless, meaningless sex, whatever. And then like three plus months passed before I an opportunity presented itself. And I was getting nervous leading up to that date. So I went I got a happy ending massage. I just want to like, remember what it was like to turn my brain off and just receive.
00:14:55:13 - 00:15:13:11
Billy
And like my homegirl, she's I, I've been seeing the same happy ending massage ladies since like 2018. Like we're tight. She lived three blocks from me. She's cool. She doesn't watch the clock with me, like, or hang out for like 20 minutes smoking weed before the session starts. Like just hanging out. Catch up. She thinks what I do is hilarious.
00:15:13:11 - 00:15:14:19
Billy
Like, oh, that's not right.
00:15:14:21 - 00:15:18:16
Luna
Wait, you can smoke weed and get a happy ending massage?
00:15:18:18 - 00:15:34:13
Billy
My dick works well. She's just like, it's just it fucking just becomes unreliable. And especially if you're using a condom that can, that just adds an extra layer of complexity. And it has more to do with me being tired than affecting my dick. It's just more like, oh, like, I don't need to do anything. I'm tired. I'm sleepy.
00:15:34:13 - 00:15:35:12
Billy
I just want to snuggle.
00:15:35:14 - 00:15:36:04
Luna
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:15:36:07 - 00:15:41:09
Billy
Like sex feels amazing when I'm stoned. So long as I can, like, keep myself up in a week to.
00:15:41:09 - 00:15:41:21
Luna
Write.
00:15:42:02 - 00:15:42:18
Billy
To enjoy.
00:15:42:18 - 00:15:46:20
Luna
It. Sometimes it's a little too much serotonin and you're just like, I'm good.
00:15:46:22 - 00:16:05:07
Billy
But this is me. You know, I'm lying on a massage table. She's a real missus, right? Like. And then there's, there's a penis massage at the end, but there's. So I'm getting a real massage and I'm receiving and I'm laxed. And then the flip happens. She's cartoon sized, and then she does, you know, starts doing the rub and like, yeah, I'm hard and everything's great, like.
00:16:05:09 - 00:16:21:05
Billy
And I came home and I actually wrote on, like, my big piece of paper over like one of these wall pads I have. I just wrote like, my body works just fine. Like I got this great massage. I didn't like bust super early. I wasn't like having trouble with an erection. I could and I wasn't thinking, oh no, what am I supposed to do next?
00:16:21:06 - 00:16:32:05
Billy
Am I supposed to touch her here? Am I what was she need? No, I know what she needs. She needs her payment. She got it, and I and I need to just chill the fuck out and receive.
00:16:32:11 - 00:16:32:18
Luna
Yeah.
00:16:32:21 - 00:16:51:09
Billy
Oh, and then it was really hot because she again, I've been getting handjobs from this woman for a very long time, and she her hand kind of, you know, there's like one hands on my cock and the other hands kind of like exploring my chest. My body just kind of like doing some light touch and just start, like, slowly moving up and then closer and closer to my neck and then onto my neck.
00:16:51:13 - 00:17:16:17
Billy
And then next thing she knows, she's, like, very softly choking and I'm game feels hot. So I'm like, I'm like letting that go. And she starts squeezing a little harder and the she kind of car so said, whoa, whoa, oh, I'm so sorry I didn't. I was like, no, we're good. Please keep do that show. Okay. And she like, choked me out with jerking me off and I came so fucking hard.
00:17:16:19 - 00:17:33:21
Billy
And I came home and I wrote on the wall that my body works just fine. And I went to bed a happy, slightly more confident boy. And, and then when I, you know, I had a date the next night where, like, I fucked for the first time in like 3 or 4 months, everything worked just fine because my body works just fine.
00:17:33:23 - 00:17:36:13
Billy
My brain just needed a little bit of a reminder.
00:17:36:15 - 00:17:37:16
Luna
Yeah.
00:17:37:18 - 00:17:51:08
Billy
And so. Yeah. And like. And so now my my Saturday girly shoe, you know, and then, just having these like, marathon sex sessions. She's a massive, massive square. She's the type of like for the first time someone squirted while I fucked her.
00:17:51:10 - 00:17:52:13
Luna
So that had.
00:17:52:15 - 00:18:01:22
Billy
I've had like where I fuck somewhere and when I pull out then they squirt. Kind of like when you finger someone and you pull out and that's when the gush, oh, she's gushing onto like my, my pubic bone lover.
00:18:01:23 - 00:18:02:17
Luna
I mean, I was.
00:18:02:19 - 00:18:05:06
Billy
I was like this amazing. I love it's all great. It's just.
00:18:05:12 - 00:18:05:17
Luna
This is.
00:18:05:17 - 00:18:06:17
Billy
A first time for me.
00:18:06:22 - 00:18:08:06
Luna
Yeah. No, it's so cool.
00:18:08:06 - 00:18:21:17
Billy
Because while folks quiet loves us. So she like, started slowly disrobing and then caught herself and so like pulling the straps down off of her shoulders like, oh wait, no, keep it. Oh, they don't want to get demonetized on YouTube.
00:18:21:19 - 00:18:28:08
Luna
This time it was like, I'm excited. And then I was like, oh, he's going to say something. It's true. Oh yeah. Oh my gosh.
00:18:28:11 - 00:18:33:00
Billy
I love being able to just swallow lady cum. Yeah, yeah.
00:18:33:01 - 00:18:40:08
Luna
You have to be underneath him to do that or do like get ready and make it come out and then keep your head down like
00:18:40:10 - 00:19:02:08
Billy
Sometimes if I already know that. Yes. Sometimes I'll, I can I'll be down there licking and I feel like my arm and shoulder, everything's scrunched. I feel like I don't have as much range of motion, but like, yeah, I've made people squirt into my mouth that way. Or if I'm like, in like the Kenneth play Tmnt, MTM three point stance.
00:19:02:10 - 00:19:04:12
Luna
I have no idea what that means.
00:19:04:14 - 00:19:35:10
Billy
Oh gosh. Like there's this guy Kenneth BAE, who is I know him around here in Bushwick. He's an educator and he has a video on you on somewhere on Pornhub. And it is like, how to make people square Video I've never gone through the whole thing. The only thing I picked up from it was like, how to physically position myself to give myself leverage and to give my arm a fuller range of motion and to take pressure off just the forearm, but rather get the whole shoulder, get the whole arm involved.
00:19:35:11 - 00:19:59:04
Billy
So that was you're not getting so tired so quickly. So you can use like different muscles all at once, okay. For the stamina. And so I can also, you know, you make someone squirt from above, but then as soon as she starts gushing, I just fucking jump down there, okay. You know, and I try to get it all in my mouth and just catch it, you know, like like when they shoot the free t shirts at a football game and, and you see it get near and you just fucking pounce.
00:19:59:04 - 00:20:03:20
Billy
You jump, boys. At this time it's my mouth and it's of a t shirts lady jizz.
00:20:03:22 - 00:20:13:14
Luna
Do you make a wish at the same time? Like, I think that's powerful, man. If you ever do it, next time you tell me you wish.
00:20:13:19 - 00:20:15:06
Billy
Like blowing out a candle.
00:20:15:10 - 00:20:20:05
Luna
Yeah. Instead of air, I just like water.
00:20:20:05 - 00:20:25:04
Billy
And I just let her cover my face. And I g like a baptismal. I just do like me. A sign of the cross on me.
00:20:25:06 - 00:20:42:10
Luna
That's what I'm thinking about with it. I guess it feels like a wish to me. Like any sort of prayer. Wow. Oh, that's so hot. But I also like it. Like, I will actually, here's a question, because I was going to say, do you squirt? Yeah, but but, and I have I've had a couple partners that can make me do it on purpose.
00:20:42:10 - 00:20:46:18
Luna
I've recently started doing it to myself a little bit, but never I don't do it to myself.
00:20:46:18 - 00:21:02:11
Billy
You do it to yourself because the the the divorce lady, she's like she says, I want to make myself squirt. Yeah. And but she she's having trouble doing it. I don't know how to instructor because I don't know what it's like to to finger fuck her from that angle. I only know how to do it from my.
00:21:02:11 - 00:21:03:04
Luna
Yeah.
00:21:03:06 - 00:21:04:18
Billy
Second person angle.
00:21:04:20 - 00:21:30:01
Luna
Yeah. I mean, it just I, I am not a squirt teacher. I also have watched several like, squirt tutorials, a long arm, I do, I have long limbs because I'm old and bendy. Yeah. So that might be part of it. But also there is a specific like relaxation of the inner wall that happens. And it's happened for me in a couple different ways, like I'm usually doing inside and outside stimulation, but also sometimes it's just a toy inside.
00:21:30:01 - 00:21:36:01
Luna
And it's the same with like, cocks her hands like, like recently. So I was going to okay pin in this question. Well first off.
00:21:36:03 - 00:21:42:00
Billy
Me one so like she's she tries to reach down so she can get her fingers in there. But like, yeah, her range of motion ain't so good.
00:21:42:01 - 00:21:47:09
Luna
So she so does she. Does she have the curved metal tool that's built for squirting?
00:21:47:11 - 00:21:52:13
Billy
She doesn't seem to enjoy. She doesn't have, but she's ordering a new something that's hopefully going to help out. Yeah.
00:21:52:13 - 00:21:56:02
Luna
So I don't I don't have the curved metal thing if that's the android, but,
00:21:56:04 - 00:21:58:20
Billy
Yeah. The you're talking about the end joints got the two.
00:21:58:22 - 00:22:01:07
Luna
It's got like holes like that. Yeah. Yeah.
00:22:01:09 - 00:22:05:10
Billy
There's a heavier version that's basically like a murder weapon if you need it to be.
00:22:05:11 - 00:22:23:13
Luna
Yes. It can double as a murder weapon. And so it's heavy. Anything that I, you, you know, like anything that goes inside me, I can kind of, like, angle a certain way, but I. But mostly I'm doing, like, fingers for me, it's inside and outside and there is like a physical component of relaxation in my pussy. I also have to be hydrated.
00:22:23:13 - 00:22:24:20
Luna
Like, it's not going to happen if I'm.
00:22:24:20 - 00:22:26:11
Billy
Oh yeah, we drink a lot of water.
00:22:26:11 - 00:22:44:01
Luna
That's so hot. But also I love like I love. Recently I was with a partner and I was like on top. I've been very, very like vigorous about being on top lately. And I was like, fucking fucking fucking fucking. And then, like, I like not the painful kind of fall off where you like, stab the cock and everything has to stop for a second.
00:22:44:01 - 00:22:59:00
Luna
But like, I kind of, like, fell out because sometimes when I get really vigorous, I like, I don't know, I get off the cock and then it comes, but it caused this, like, pulsating squirt. And it was I got to watch it. He didn't because he was he couldn't see from that angle. But I was like, do you see that?
00:22:59:00 - 00:23:01:06
Luna
Do you see that? That's so hot. He's like, I can't see it.
00:23:01:08 - 00:23:03:04
Billy
What she did on Saturday. Oh.
00:23:03:06 - 00:23:17:11
Luna
That turns me so much. Which so like that. I know it's different because it's like, you know, it's coming out, but I love seeing that coming out. I love watching it, like, pulls out. But you, you said that you can feel it, like on your cock from inside. So what does that.
00:23:17:13 - 00:23:22:09
Billy
No, no, no, it was, it was, it was shooting out. Yeah. While I was inside her.
00:23:22:15 - 00:23:25:18
Luna
Yeah. So could you feel it like, could you feel it like on this side.
00:23:25:22 - 00:23:44:06
Billy
It's off from inside. It's. It's landing on my body. On your. I'm inside her and it's, it's shooting out onto like my pubic bone region. Ooh. Because squirt doesn't come straight from the vagina. It comes from, like, one of that little tiny hole that Laverne Cox to all the girls about in, orange is the New Black.
00:23:44:08 - 00:23:56:20
Luna
I know that they say it comes out of urethra. I've definitely had it come out from inside my vagina. From everything I read, it can go through the sponge. The roof was. But like, there's a whole spongy area. I've had it come out from the inside of my pussy. I don't know, I mean, I'm watching.
00:23:56:20 - 00:24:00:10
Billy
I'm not here to tell you how vaginas work. I'm a dumb boy.
00:24:00:11 - 00:24:13:09
Luna
I'm just. I just know that I'm just telling you a couple of fingers inside of myself. And I was watching very closely. And it seems different at different place. So I know that. I know that, like, lately there's a thing going around, like it's being it's coming out your urethra, but I'm just like.
00:24:13:09 - 00:24:18:14
Billy
Well, I can't wait for dad to get this Google or where it's just like Billy proceeded on squirting girls.
00:24:18:15 - 00:24:23:21
Luna
Up. Is that my son? Do now? Is that what your dad the Google search is set up to? Like, capture?
00:24:23:21 - 00:24:25:19
Billy
Well, no. We have the same name.
00:24:25:21 - 00:24:30:10
Luna
Oh, that's right, I forgot what he'll.
00:24:30:10 - 00:24:35:06
Billy
Get random calls from. Like a business partner would be like. Are you doing naked comedies? Like, I know that's my kid.
00:24:35:12 - 00:24:53:04
Luna
Okay, speaking of naked comedy, how is it going? Have you been naked lately, or are you very funny? I mean, you are every month. Every month. Also, I'm spending tonight here with you instead of Kenny Gadsby, who's down the street from me. So I'm like, oh, because I was like, oh damn, I missed Hannah. But then I was like, well, I'm going to have my own private comedian,
00:24:53:06 - 00:25:11:05
Billy
Now the naked comedy shows in Brooklyn, we, we do two shows a night once a month. And it's been amazing, like, most of the shows sell out, and it's just been really fun. We get comedians from Comedy Central and Netflix, HBO and all that jazz while an out The Tonight Show just we get we get like really good comics.
00:25:11:05 - 00:25:25:22
Billy
Just we get to take their clothes off and do sets and, yeah, it's been a really fun time. A lot of really interesting, like, you know, audience crowd work interactions and it's, Yeah. So the next one is on June 14th. You know, if you live in the greater New York area, it's, it's a fun date.
00:25:25:22 - 00:25:37:13
Billy
I think it's a great date night to test a guy out. Like, if you can bring a guy to a naked comedy show and he can be chill about seeing other penises. Yeah, Mike could be a keeper. Could be a keeper.
00:25:37:15 - 00:25:42:07
Luna
I mean, I feel like I have scared the shit out of so many people in the last couple of years.
00:25:42:07 - 00:25:43:14
Billy
Yes, you probably have.
00:25:43:17 - 00:26:00:23
Luna
Yeah. Hello? I'm here. I'm nice, I like sex. I literally had a guy that I was trying to date last December and he was like, wow, no one's ever treated me this nicely before. Like, we were like, taking it slow. I was like, oh, yeah, I don't want to scare him. He's nice, he's cool. And then he, he's like, wow, no one's ever like, no, I've never felt this nurtured.
00:26:00:23 - 00:26:13:09
Luna
I took them on a picnic. It was really nice. I did a good job. And then I was like, yeah. And so then on our third date, I was like, so I was like, what? What would it take for us to, you know, talk about sex or kind of move in that direction? That's something we're even interested in.
00:26:13:09 - 00:26:26:11
Luna
He's like, oh yeah, yeah. No, no. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Yeah. No, I, I promise, I mean, I promise I like sex. And I was like, okay. It wasn't like, okay. He's like, no, I know it seems like maybe I don't. I was like, oh, I also didn't seem that. And and then we like, how do hot make out?
00:26:26:11 - 00:26:47:09
Luna
He's like one of the more recent people I've made out with because I don't I don't know, kissing has become special to me lately, but Oh. And then it was like, very strange because we made out his finger, me a little bit, and then I was like, ooh! I was like, if we're if this is a one way street, like, if you're only touching me and I'm not touching you, like, I was like, let's leave tonight as an edgy, you know, something to come back to.
00:26:47:09 - 00:27:00:20
Luna
Like, I don't want to because also, I'm like, I'm a very practical person. I love to come. I can come by myself. I don't need an endorphin drop and have a bunch of prolactin, a bunch of other shit released at the hands of another partner who's not. It's not a two way street. Like I do not want that.
00:27:00:20 - 00:27:13:14
Luna
I don't want to go Goo-Goo for someone who's not, you know, I know how I work, so I'm like, hold on, how about you just edge me tonight and then we'll leave it. And he's like, oh, okay, okay. Well then I'm going to it's time to go home. I'm going to go home. I was like, okay.
00:27:13:16 - 00:27:15:03
Billy
Oh he said no.
00:27:15:05 - 00:27:19:06
Luna
He said okay. You know, so he, so he, so he had his fingers and he was like I.
00:27:19:06 - 00:27:19:18
Billy
Was like, so.
00:27:19:20 - 00:27:29:07
Luna
I was like, I don't want to come. I said, I don't want to come tonight. I want you to edge me. He's like, oh, okay, okay, okay. And he was like kind of caught off guard. And then he's like, so I'm going to I'm going to leave after this. And I was like.
00:27:29:08 - 00:27:41:13
Billy
That's why I'm oh okay. So no, he no. So he didn't stop when you made that request. He did it. Did he edge did he edge you or did he like go. It was I guess I'll stop now.
00:27:41:13 - 00:27:49:01
Luna
It was basically like. Like it wasn't exactly immediate, but it was like a minute or two. He kind of checking these, like, I think. Well, I think that'll.
00:27:49:04 - 00:27:53:03
Billy
Take some creative license. You don't have to take it too literally. But again, just basically like that.
00:27:53:07 - 00:28:09:02
Luna
You basically stop. Oh, sorry. Yeah. I'm very literal. Always. I'll always get surprised by, metaphor. Unless someone unless unless I specifically know I'm in a metaphorical frame. Anyway, yeah, and then I talked to him on the phone the next day, and I thought I was flirting, and I thought I was doing the right thing, and then I never heard from him again.
00:28:09:04 - 00:28:28:13
Billy
You know, I think to edge a woman or even to dare to say even, like, for, orgasm denial. Like there's an element of, like, the audacity. I think that would freak out some guys because they're like, you know, I'm working so hard just to learn how to make it come at all. And now you're telling me you want me, like, has some sort of mastery?
00:28:28:17 - 00:28:43:17
Billy
Hannah Gadsby level of control of the tension that I can like, bring you a close, but then not cavity over. Like I think a lot guys are like, no, I'd really like to put you over because, like, I took so many classes just to be able to make it come. Please don't make me like, fuck with that, right?
00:28:43:17 - 00:28:55:13
Luna
But also, if it's about my pleasure. And also if he's not even getting naked and I'm like, I'm allowed to be like, I don't want to orgasm with you right now and then, you know, but if you're saying, you know, if I'm like, no, I'm.
00:28:55:13 - 00:29:12:16
Billy
Saying you're not allowed to. I'm just saying that I think men are not known for automatically being able to make women come right. And so then the idea that you're supposed to be able to, like, know how close to get you then then stop. It's almost like they're like, you want me to ruin all this work I did?
00:29:12:18 - 00:29:12:23
Billy
Really?
00:29:13:03 - 00:29:18:00
Luna
But I was just making the point of, like, hold on, I'm getting close. Hold off. Like I was communicating with.
00:29:18:00 - 00:29:21:19
Billy
Him a while. No one's attacking you. I'm talking about men right now.
00:29:21:21 - 00:29:30:03
Luna
I just don't understand what you're saying. Oh, I see, okay. Just know that I'm trying to be very clear about what I was inviting him to do. I wasn't asking him. I was like, you know.
00:29:30:05 - 00:29:30:11
Billy
We all.
00:29:30:11 - 00:29:31:00
Luna
Know.
00:29:31:02 - 00:29:37:02
Billy
We all know. Yeah, yeah. No, that's understand that I'm used as a way to shit on men at large. I.
00:29:37:04 - 00:29:40:01
Luna
I like men, I mean, I like people, I just, I.
00:29:40:01 - 00:29:44:04
Billy
Don't know why you do. That's really hot. Take liking men. Why do you do that?
00:29:44:04 - 00:29:56:18
Luna
Well, I think they're wonderful creatures, and I think I think the world is very compassionate toward them. I mean, look, we're living in a world of problematic ness, but, like, you're great. You're a man. Do you not like yourself because of man's stuff?
00:29:56:18 - 00:29:59:19
Billy
I don't know if I'm great. I think I'm real strong, neutral.
00:29:59:21 - 00:30:12:12
Luna
What do we, Well, I, I'm going to I'm going to get I'm going to get, you know, I'm having a little fantasy about, like, stealing you away for a little, like, self-love protocol. I can make you look in the mirror in your eyes. Yeah, but it's.
00:30:12:12 - 00:30:29:06
Billy
Not that I don't think I'm great. It's that, like, it's cringe to say that one is for a guy to say how great he is, I, I'd rather I like also low expectations if I say I'm a neutral and I turn out to be great, then it seems I was even greater. If I say I was great and then I was just pretty good.
00:30:29:09 - 00:30:30:23
Billy
It's almost like that's a disappointment.
00:30:30:23 - 00:30:32:21
Luna
So let so Jack.
00:30:32:21 - 00:30:34:19
Billy
Da living mother fucker.
00:30:34:19 - 00:30:38:16
Luna
That's what I think. You're pretty great. I think you got a lot of great qualities.
00:30:38:18 - 00:30:43:06
Billy
I just let's be like. But if anyone asks, just be like, he's fine.
00:30:43:08 - 00:31:00:02
Luna
I can't say that because now I've publicly said that you slept on my couch, and I don't just let anyone sleep on my couch. Do you know what I mean? Like like I have standards. Even though the internet thinks that I'm just like an open vagina. I'm like, treat me like a whore. Pay me like a whore.
00:31:00:02 - 00:31:11:19
Luna
Fuck off. You know, and I'm fancy, you know? So, that's that's kind of what I'm thinking. Well, okay, on this note of, you're making a joke about your greatness. Okay, I'm not going to follow up.
00:31:11:21 - 00:31:14:10
Billy
That's all of this is just jokes. Yes.
00:31:14:12 - 00:31:22:02
Luna
You just make jokes. Okay? Okay. Then what is your joke answer to? So lately, because I've been struggling with, like.
00:31:22:04 - 00:31:24:21
Billy
What is your joke answer? I would like to know the joke.
00:31:24:21 - 00:31:40:07
Luna
And I would like to know because I have been, really in a weird fucking place with sex stories now. Ex stories. Because we had, our Spotify ratings went from a 4.9 to a two point or like 4.2.9 from January of last year to July of last year. And I didn't pay attention.
00:31:40:07 - 00:31:43:10
Billy
Oh, so you got I mean, that sounds like we got a game brigade.
00:31:43:12 - 00:31:46:21
Luna
Yeah, yeah, we have a brigade. Brigade? Is that the phrase? Yeah. So?
00:31:47:02 - 00:31:57:18
Billy
So yeah, some people call it a attack, some call it brigade. Yeah. When like a bunch of people say like we're going to go try to, like, harass this one person or we're going to like all try to downvote or we're all going to leave low ratings.
00:31:57:18 - 00:32:13:16
Luna
So I didn't even realize that had happened until I was like switching over to megaphone. I'm doing all this stuff and like having kind of some disasters and then and then sex stories wasn't showing up in the search results for a long time. Like people were like, why did you quit the podcast? I was like, I didn't. I'm still putting in an episode every week like I have for the last.
00:32:13:17 - 00:32:17:14
Billy
Oh yeah, I think that was going on when I came over. We were talking a bit about that. Yeah.
00:32:17:14 - 00:32:28:15
Luna
And so it was in progress. So, so again, it's a lot of I'm, I'm open to your wisdom about how to invite people to do some readings. You know, so that's been now we're back up to a three.
00:32:28:15 - 00:32:35:07
Billy
Point oh go do ratings right now. If you're listening, do the reading while you listen. Right now, there is no excuse to not just.
00:32:35:09 - 00:32:35:15
Luna
Keep.
00:32:35:15 - 00:32:54:02
Billy
Listening. I'll keep talking about squirting if you want to. Just while I talk about the squirting or while you're jacking off to us talking about squirting, just take the other hand and then go do the five star. Don't do four, okay? It's not a literal thing. I know why it would be like, no, I would give the literal, most honest ratings to wish you a freaking good.
00:32:54:02 - 00:33:06:08
Billy
Just just give five. It does. It's like an Uber driver. Give five stars because otherwise you're going to fuck up their livelihood, okay? It's not it's an imperfect system. It shouldn't be that way. But just go five. It's just five stars. Just do that.
00:33:06:10 - 00:33:08:15
Luna
Yeah, yeah. So that so that was.
00:33:08:17 - 00:33:10:16
Billy
Yeah. You could have been. Did you.
00:33:10:18 - 00:33:11:18
Luna
Like. What's wrong.
00:33:11:18 - 00:33:12:05
Billy
With you?
00:33:12:07 - 00:33:31:14
Luna
Thank you. So what's your joke answer or real answer to the question. Because I've been going say for work offering as I do kind of some new explorations. We're not I'm not giving you a state for work episode here, but I have been doing, you know, branching out into my various topics. Right? So I have love stories, dating stories, marriage stories, all of these different types of like, connection themed stories.
00:33:31:14 - 00:33:47:21
Luna
And, with all of my new sex stories guests, I'm starting off with little questions of love to do some love. Okay, so I would just love to hear your answer to what does love mean to you? I.e. what is love?
00:33:47:23 - 00:34:08:12
Billy
For me, it's an intangible feeling that I can't quite describe, but it it creates like a depth in my chest. But then there's also, an attraction. It's like kind of pulling to his in, like I'm pulling deeper into myself. And I also feel like something on my chest is being pulled out and then towards them as well.
00:34:08:15 - 00:34:11:18
Billy
Or that's heartburn. I'm not sure which, but like, I'm pretty sure that's love.
00:34:11:18 - 00:34:15:21
Luna
There's the joke and the joke. I was like, wait, he sounds like a serious.
00:34:15:23 - 00:34:28:18
Billy
Well, yeah, because if you say give me the joke answer, they can't be. The whole point of a joke is surprise, like I can't. Okay, you know, it needs to not be be like, okay. And now can I have your joke answer? Because then it's like, well, now I don't want to do a joke. But no, it's, love.
00:34:28:19 - 00:34:42:12
Billy
Yeah, I, I usually describe it as like, this, like intangible, cosmic feeling. It's like I can't describe it. I just know it. It's like, obscenity. Under the legal standard, I know it when I'll see it. Yeah.
00:34:42:13 - 00:34:43:12
Luna
00:34:43:19 - 00:34:52:18
Billy
Applying local community standards, like, I know it when I see it. And I know love when I feel it. You know, I've been quite smitten with someone, lately.
00:34:53:00 - 00:34:54:02
Luna
Really?
00:34:54:04 - 00:35:01:02
Billy
And I'm very excited to. She's. She don't she doesn't live here. She lives in LA, actually, and she.
00:35:01:04 - 00:35:01:11
Luna
Is going.
00:35:01:11 - 00:35:02:18
Billy
To be here very soon.
00:35:02:21 - 00:35:07:21
Luna
You're never going to be on the stage now you have a smitten kitten. So, you don't even need my couch anymore.
00:35:08:01 - 00:35:12:04
Billy
Fingers crossed. We're meeting in person for the first time in a couple weeks.
00:35:12:06 - 00:35:13:18
Luna
Oh, just come out here.
00:35:13:19 - 00:35:34:05
Billy
I just got other people to see out here in New York. But like this, she seems to. So long as it all goes well, like, probably was spent a lot of time, but like, we've been having, like, multi-hour phone calls in the last week, I've probably spent over 20 hours on the phone with this woman. Well, like, accidentally talk for four hours on the phone, like, frequently.
00:35:34:06 - 00:35:39:22
Billy
Yeah. It's amazing. I'm definitely feeling things.
00:35:40:00 - 00:35:43:21
Luna
Wow. Do you guys talk about that?
00:35:43:23 - 00:35:50:11
Billy
Not too much, because I'm trying to, you know, just because I still have a major. But, like, basically like. Yes, but, like just.
00:35:50:11 - 00:35:55:14
Luna
Enough for me. Even though this part of the episode out or is it too personal? That's one. Okay.
00:35:55:16 - 00:36:15:15
Billy
She she knows. Yeah, I don't know. But she also she, she knows who I am and what I do and I think she'll, she'll feel she'll smile and smirk a bit and feel that thing that I think I feel, I think she'll start feeling things. If she heard me being all blushy and incoherent trying to talk about her.
00:36:15:15 - 00:36:17:10
Billy
Yeah, I think she'd feel flattered.
00:36:17:12 - 00:36:18:19
Luna
Cute.
00:36:18:21 - 00:36:30:09
Billy
I don't know how flattered, how much flattered she'll feel. Here. Anyway, right after I talk about, like, you know, making this, like, little square on the Upper West Side, but in Morningside Heights or whatever, but, like, it is fine.
00:36:30:11 - 00:36:34:17
Luna
Well, I'm sorry. Wait. Are you a monogamous person or.
00:36:34:18 - 00:36:39:15
Billy
Don't don't, don't don't don't try to, don't try to explore too deep, but. Yeah.
00:36:39:17 - 00:37:02:07
Luna
See, I just need I just need more billies in my life to tell me when to, because otherwise I do. I try to figure it out. I am practicing letting go of figure outing. Yeah, but opposite to what I just said. Like how has ten years of this work of sex focused work? Like as you reflect on your love life and relationship life like I'm really in the thick of navigate ING like, what the fuck?
00:37:02:08 - 00:37:04:04
Luna
I scratch my nipple. Yeah.
00:37:04:05 - 00:37:09:17
Billy
I was about to be like, yeah. It's like every time I look down. Like why I was trying to take her tits out. How dare.
00:37:09:19 - 00:37:14:01
Luna
I just. I mean, this is comfortable around you. But how?
00:37:14:03 - 00:37:20:07
Billy
They are nice. I can tell, I can tell, I can confirm for anyone who hasn't seen the really good boobs, but real.
00:37:20:07 - 00:37:36:05
Luna
Cher went to the spa with my mom on Sunday. Like Korean spa. So we're naked because you have to be at this spa. And my mom, as we're, like, undressing in the locker room, she goes, your boobs kind of saggy. And I was like, mom, I really like that. I think that's like.
00:37:36:05 - 00:37:46:01
Billy
Part of what makes boobs. Boobs. I also like, like that's why I don't see it's like, I think you got boobs and like, yeah, they got a little they like, have a slope to them, but they, they're still formulas.
00:37:46:04 - 00:37:49:03
Luna
They're very pendulous. Yeah. They're not like that baggy.
00:37:49:03 - 00:37:49:20
Billy
They're like just.
00:37:50:01 - 00:37:55:10
Luna
The pencil underneath them. And there is boob sweat in the summer. Like it's they're.
00:37:55:12 - 00:37:57:12
Billy
They're big, they're heavy. They're, they're going.
00:37:57:12 - 00:37:58:05
Luna
To from my body.
00:37:58:05 - 00:38:03:12
Billy
They go down a little bit, but they're not like I don't think they're droopy. I just think they're where they.
00:38:03:12 - 00:38:08:00
Luna
Well, my mom claims, well your mom doesn't have that of.
00:38:08:02 - 00:38:08:19
Billy
Yes.
00:38:08:21 - 00:38:31:06
Luna
Yeah, but but I want to hear like because I'm navigating all the relational stuff of having like, I think I just didn't realize that sharing publicly would be such a, uncomfy thing for my dating life in so many ways. How's that come up for you at all? Like, it sounds like you were just very comfortable with yourself and, like, here's who I am, and I think I'm reaching that place.
00:38:31:08 - 00:38:39:07
Luna
But even definitely when you visit me last year, you were like, why? Oh, just boo, what's your problem? And I'm like, me and my problem. I don't know, you know, like.
00:38:39:12 - 00:38:48:11
Billy
It's like, yeah, you're weird, but they all know you're weird. They've been around you long enough. They're like, yeah, why? I was a weirdo. And that's why we enjoy her.
00:38:48:13 - 00:38:56:12
Luna
But strangers look at me and they don't think I'm weird. And then I freak out when they freak out when the surprise happens. And that's what I'm finally coming to terms with.
00:38:56:13 - 00:38:58:01
Billy
That's their fucking problem.
00:38:58:03 - 00:38:58:17
Luna
I know, but.
00:38:58:17 - 00:39:12:13
Billy
I was too busy jacking off. And then they came and they have this, like persona clarity and they're like, oh my gosh, she's a fucking weirdo. And it's like, yeah, bro. Like she did. She was an alien the whole time. You're jacking off to an alien now you feel weird about it? It sounds like you need to journal.
00:39:12:15 - 00:39:25:19
Luna
No. I literally had someone recently be like, wow, you are like a classic Hollywood movie star. And then I, like, shared my personality. Ghost. Like, like just, you know, the projection of Hollywood alien.
00:39:25:19 - 00:39:33:06
Billy
Like, if you unzipped something from the back of your skull and, like, you pulled down the skin and you were just like an alien underneath, I'd be like.
00:39:33:08 - 00:39:35:18
Luna
Tracks.
00:39:35:20 - 00:39:38:03
Billy
But that alien still has, like, speaking Italy.
00:39:38:04 - 00:39:44:01
Luna
And I'd be like, I will probe you. Haha. Please probe me. I'm gathering data.
00:39:44:03 - 00:39:47:00
Billy
You're like a walking porn parody.
00:39:47:02 - 00:40:06:11
Luna
I'm just like a real at no. And the worst part is I'm like, oh yes, that sounds fun, you know? And I'm like hearing you talk about gang bangs. Just to rewind to the very beginning, I'm like, oh, like I've had a fantasy lately of getting bangs, both as a ringleader and as a participant. And I'm like, now I'm imagining you dressed in a cute little like Billy ringleader outfit.
00:40:06:11 - 00:40:16:14
Luna
Listen, like short shorts, like watching over, you know, like orchestrating the people because you're so good at organizing gang bangs. So I hear, here's a question. You know, the.
00:40:16:14 - 00:40:22:05
Billy
Crazy thing is, I'm not even really into gang bangs. I just apparently can make it happen. But it's not.
00:40:22:05 - 00:40:24:06
Luna
Like a magnet.
00:40:24:07 - 00:40:33:03
Billy
Like I'm not turned on particularly, but I'm not turned off. But like, I'm not turned on by gang bangs. I just go like, well, if that's how I have to fuck. Yeah, I guess that's how it's.
00:40:33:03 - 00:40:37:04
Luna
Going to happen. I don't think I really I thought you were just like, game for gang bangs.
00:40:37:04 - 00:40:40:14
Billy
But yeah, so I'm game, but I'm not like, it's not like.
00:40:40:14 - 00:40:41:03
Luna
My.
00:40:41:05 - 00:40:51:23
Billy
Thing. I'm just willing, like, if the option is, I can fuck her with five other men or not at all. I go, I guess I'm making some friends tonight.
00:40:52:00 - 00:40:59:11
Luna
Oh, okay. Do you care where you are in the line of fucks or how do they even navigate that? I don't think I've ever gotten to ask anyone this deep, you know, it's really questions.
00:40:59:12 - 00:41:15:15
Billy
It starts to become improv, you know, it's really good when everyone's taken a 101 class. Everyone knows how to do a little. Yes. And, but you get no one's too selfish. But also, not everyone's too scared and humble to get in there. It's, you just kind of feel it's a it's a living thing, a gang.
00:41:15:17 - 00:41:16:10
Billy
It's,
00:41:16:12 - 00:41:24:09
Luna
Do you like fuck to do, come or do. Is it like a certain amount of minutes and you take turns or like, is it like, does it depend like it was it? I think it.
00:41:24:09 - 00:41:40:13
Billy
Depends. But generally you just go with that. What you need to do. I think, there is an element of like don't, don't hog anyone hole for too long. Like don't spend ten minutes in one hole if it looks like somebody else would like a turn like you can if you're not ready to come, that's good for you.
00:41:40:16 - 00:41:46:23
Billy
Stop. Take a break. Move to a different hole. Let someone else get a turn. You know, we, we got time.
00:41:47:00 - 00:41:48:03
Luna
Yeah, yeah.
00:41:48:05 - 00:41:49:18
Billy
The hotel rooms all night.
00:41:49:20 - 00:41:58:01
Luna
My. Have you ever been to. Because. Okay, I want to tell you my latest gaming fantasy because I'm curious if you. While you probably think it's alien and weird, but, then my.
00:41:58:01 - 00:42:02:07
Billy
Poor dad's Google search results,
00:42:02:09 - 00:42:21:07
Luna
No, we're wholesome here. It's all about adding emotional context to physical acts. That's what we do here. So I have a fantasy lately about, like, a very friendly gangbang where, like, I want to have, like, a nice little introduction to my face, like, while I'm getting fucked from behind by someone else. But I'm like, I want someone to come up and say hi to my face first.
00:42:21:09 - 00:42:24:13
Luna
And then they fuck my face and then they do the back parts. Is that.
00:42:24:13 - 00:42:28:19
Billy
Oh, that's really that's like sweet. It's like a it's like a systematic for love.
00:42:28:20 - 00:42:50:07
Luna
I like them. Yes. I always have frameworks in place. And I'm like, okay, here's my framework. You're invited. And people are like, I want to do it this way. And I'm like, well, here's the invitation, right? No. And then I'm like, okay, I guess I'll just be alone waiting for my friendly gangbang. But like, do you think is that as a potential, what would your fee to be a gangbang ringleader be, or do you just.
00:42:50:09 - 00:43:00:13
Billy
I it, I don't I'm not I volunteered the first three and then the fourth one I did for free because it was my girlfriend's Christmas present. That's all she wanted for Christmas.
00:43:00:15 - 00:43:01:19
Luna
00:43:01:21 - 00:43:15:21
Billy
I could say which girlfriend, but she said she wanted one, and I did it for, you know, that's. That was a Christmas present. But, and then after that, I was like, I gotta start charging because this is a lot of work. It's a lot of interacting with men and men. Not very fun or great to interact with.
00:43:15:21 - 00:43:31:10
Billy
I'm not a big fan. But, yeah. No, I got, I got a fee. If someone was, like, serious about it. But it's not cheap. That doesn't even account for, like, if I got to go travel. But, you know, I can make sure it happens.
00:43:31:12 - 00:43:34:07
Luna
So how much money would we have to raise for you?
00:43:34:09 - 00:43:36:06
Billy
There's a comma.
00:43:36:07 - 00:43:44:01
Luna
Great. Okay. I'm in. I'm into that. I mean, look, I'm in the era of we need to be valued highly, highly.
00:43:44:03 - 00:43:52:10
Billy
What's great about SLA? There's so many points that I like. I could probably just, like, make it happen from, like, Digg asking a bunch of porn friends.
00:43:52:12 - 00:44:09:07
Luna
Oh, really? I mean, probably I haven't, I have not had, I've had a couple of friends who are in the adult industry say yes, but so far, nobody who I've reached out to, you know, so for my birthday, I was like, I want I do 52 days of play, 52 days of fucking. And we're like a weekend.
00:44:09:07 - 00:44:26:15
Luna
And I'm like, all right, well, I'm doing a lot of solo research. This is very fun. I'll make it about recording 52 days of content, you know? And so I'm working on the social aspects of those invitations and just kind of like getting clear on, like, what I would really want to do. Speaking of bangs, you did mouth bangs or do you call it mouth bangs?
00:44:26:15 - 00:44:30:09
Luna
What do you call it? Mouth orgy. Orgy?
00:44:30:11 - 00:44:31:20
Billy
Sex auditions.
00:44:31:22 - 00:44:35:12
Luna
Oral sex auditions. Okay, I guess that's kind of a reverse mouth thing.
00:44:35:14 - 00:44:56:16
Billy
Everyone. I just left a five star rating on Spotify. See? Was that easy even? No, I did that. It just had. You could have. Have you done it yet? Go do it. What do you. What are you waiting for? Okay, I'm going to tell a silly story. I hope you kind of pay attention. And again, you could have been done by now, but I hope you go live a five star rating.
00:44:56:18 - 00:45:15:05
Billy
No, I for my 500th episode, I did the oral sex auditions, and, I forget, I think we maybe alluded to it last time, or maybe I was getting ready for it, but, you know, I put it out. And so what I did for my 500 episodes, I went down on five different women I'd never gone down on before.
00:45:15:07 - 00:45:31:09
Billy
And, I had 15 minutes in the room with them, and then I would leave. And then they reviewed me, with my guest host. And then, like, I didn't hear how I did for like, six months because, like, I recorded in May.
00:45:31:09 - 00:45:33:03
Luna
You waited that long?
00:45:33:05 - 00:45:51:05
Billy
Maybe not six, but like, we recorded in, like, April in May. Yeah, it was in May and then, but it didn't come out until August. And so I didn't start editing it to early August. So I just sat on the audio like I knew how I did with like, one woman, because, like, she wanted to start fucking.
00:45:51:05 - 00:46:06:22
Billy
So we started fucking like regularly after that. But, you know, and like, I had a good sense. You know, like, if I swallow enough cum, I feel like I did a pretty good job. But there were a couple women where I was like, I don't really know how I did here. You know? I felt like there was one woman, I felt like I bombed.
00:46:07:00 - 00:46:08:00
Luna
Or are you going to make to.
00:46:08:00 - 00:46:24:01
Billy
Listen to the episode? Yeah. You got to go listen to find out. But so, yeah, no, they did pre-game interviews and post-game interview and, and then after they left the apartment, I'd come in and, you know, I'd be icing my wrists like LeBron. And after the third quarter and, you know, letting them how I let them know how I think it went.
00:46:24:03 - 00:46:32:02
Billy
And, but, you know, also I'm actually barely in the episode, right. Because I only talked to my friend really kind of after each chick.
00:46:32:02 - 00:46:32:09
Luna
Right.
00:46:32:09 - 00:46:43:01
Billy
Right where I say how I think I did. But but most of it is women talking to other women about oral and about pleasure and about, pussy eating. Right.
00:46:43:01 - 00:47:01:07
Luna
So and this is the one where you put the sounds on Patreon, right? Because I remember feeling very oh yeah, me that was a thing. And then and then because of that, I took your advice and I put all of my masturbation meditation sensation explorations that I did on OnlyFans, because I edge myself for all of September last year.
00:47:01:09 - 00:47:14:01
Luna
And then I made a like a sensory exploration every day. And so I put the audios of that on Patreon because of your, well, telling me that and I thought it was really hot. And you said that was really. I mean, I found that arousing. Yeah.
00:47:14:03 - 00:47:31:19
Billy
So I put a microphone like a room microphone next to the bed. And every all, everyone knew it was there. I didn't, like, hide it. I mean, like, I hid it, but like, they were aware it was there. Yeah. There's just like, capture the sounds of that because I need transition noises. There's a lot of moving parts in the episode, right, like segments.
00:47:32:00 - 00:47:51:15
Billy
So I use them as like, transitory sounds. So in between kind of like there's the, you know, we do pre-game interview pre-interview with lady number one and then you'll hear some like moaning or some pussy eating or whatever, and then you'll hear her post-game and then you'll hear some more pausing sounds and then you'll hear me come in.
00:47:51:17 - 00:48:12:10
Billy
So, but in one of them, you can actually hear the squirt, like, on the sound wave. You could I could circle what a squirt looks like in sound wave format. And then what happened was a lot of people thought I was so hot. They were like, gosh, I would love to have like a Patreon bonus episode. There's just all the women moaning.
00:48:12:10 - 00:48:29:00
Billy
Yeah. And so I just took all the room audio and I just made a track that was just all that. So I was like about an hour of just women moaning because I was eating them out. Yeah, well, except for one woman, I think there was a little bit more of her giving me instructions.
00:48:29:02 - 00:48:31:13
Luna
Throughout the time to I love, you.
00:48:31:13 - 00:48:43:19
Billy
Know, we tried we tried our best to make that one happen. But yeah. So that's a whole Patreon. Bonus episodes. Hashtag all the moons. And that's that's how I celebrate ten years of podcasting and 500 episodes.
00:48:43:22 - 00:49:00:01
Luna
Oof! I fucking love it. Here's a question. Do you think you could get through okay, in a world where this is allowed in a venue where this is allowed, could you get through a comedy set like maybe at my birthday party next year if someone was, like, going down on you the whole time enthusiastically, like, is that something you'd be.
00:49:00:01 - 00:49:08:19
Billy
Yeah, sure. Absolutely. I mean, I don't know how hard I'm going to be, like, how I don't know how it all go physically, like the comedy I could do.
00:49:08:21 - 00:49:12:13
Luna
But you don't get too distracted. You think you could stay focused?
00:49:12:15 - 00:49:16:09
Billy
I mean, is it kind of the fun of it is to get a little distracted?
00:49:16:09 - 00:49:16:23
Luna
Exactly.
00:49:17:01 - 00:49:28:00
Billy
And be like, If I'm too focused, I would probably not be fun for the audience. But yeah, no, I can totally do that. So we can talk about that gig.
00:49:28:01 - 00:49:31:06
Luna
I'm just thinking. I'm just I'm just noodling out loud. I'm not committed to anything. Yeah.
00:49:31:06 - 00:49:39:03
Billy
So it's a if somebody wants to blow me or stroke me while like, I try to do jokes and do crowd work. Yeah, that that would be a first in my career. And.
00:49:39:03 - 00:49:39:18
Luna
Yeah.
00:49:39:20 - 00:49:41:00
Billy
Because I'd be happy to do it.
00:49:41:03 - 00:49:48:13
Luna
I mean, that's like the next level up from Naked Comedy is like fucking comedy. That's like really hot, I don't know. Yeah.
00:49:48:15 - 00:49:51:09
Billy
It sounds like a porno, but like, I'm game.
00:49:51:11 - 00:50:08:04
Luna
I guess it does sound like a porno. Well, yeah, I guess I'm always trying to turn it into erotic content. I mean, I, I really want to just do the next, I guess I'm like, well, if they think sex stories is like porn, then I really do just want to do the version where I explore the bodies and interview them as I'm touching them, you know?
00:50:08:06 - 00:50:28:12
Luna
And so getting getting adult performers to say yes to my big nerdy idea is the next horizon for me. But what is next on the horizon for Billy? Like, what are you interested in exploring other other work wise and or sex wise? Like fucking wise? Like what? What are you most excited about? Or is there anything else on your bucket list right now that's niggling at you.
00:50:28:14 - 00:50:29:03
Luna
00:50:29:05 - 00:50:50:16
Billy
I mean I'm, I'm really in my personal life, I'm very excited to meet this woman who's like seemed to capture my, my heart and my attention. And it seems like she feels like what it's like I'm kind of most excited about that. And I'm really hyped, in my standup career, you know, the naked Comedy show is going great.
00:50:50:18 - 00:51:05:06
Billy
I also I also do clothes comedy. I want everyone to know if you're a comedian listening, like, I would love to do your show. I will totally wear pants. I most of the time I do comedy with my pants on. I think sometimes people don't know that because it's that when I wear pants doing comedy doesn't always get into the New York Times.
00:51:05:06 - 00:51:29:05
Billy
But, you know, they do. Nick. Comedy show. We're still doing two shows a night every month in Bushwick. A hacienda. It's great. Ticket links are usually in my bio or in my Linktree, so, you know, come check those out. And then, you know, the podcasts are still plugging along and just doing what we do. And I have a couple of last time I was in I was in L.A. a few months ago.
00:51:29:05 - 00:52:00:05
Billy
And I've got these like, I've got a couple of coaching friends who, like, want me in the sex and dating coaching so that, seems like something I shall be adding, type of thing where, like, if anyone felt like they specifically want sex dating coaching from me, very specifically is probably the best time to reach out to me because my my getting used to it rate is going to be cheaper than when I feel settled into it and have the website up, you know what I mean?
00:52:00:05 - 00:52:03:04
Billy
So, if anybody wants to be a guinea pig.
00:52:03:06 - 00:52:06:21
Luna
Get them willing to get it before get me while I'm.
00:52:06:23 - 00:52:08:11
Billy
A little more affordable.
00:52:08:11 - 00:52:15:05
Luna
We'll get them. Get them while the pan is warming up. Yeah, but also, you're going to maybe talk to dudes.
00:52:15:07 - 00:52:19:08
Billy
Yeah, I could handle that. I, some I preferred, but I could do it.
00:52:19:10 - 00:52:23:19
Luna
You're. Yes. No, I just influence on them. They need you. I think that's the thing.
00:52:23:19 - 00:52:39:17
Billy
It's like, look, when they. When they pay my rent. Sure. I'll. I'll talk to you. No. So I actually, you know, like, I, I've always kind of offered my time and I hate saying the word expertise, so I'll just say, like, my time and my thoughts based on my vast amount of experience, your whole.
00:52:39:18 - 00:52:44:01
Luna
Way of hyper focusing on sex, that is something. I mean, I've actually.
00:52:44:03 - 00:53:05:06
Billy
Been more than a decade of me doing it will say that, but yeah, I have all right. Like, I've, I've kind of only always worked off of referrals. So like I've had clients here and there, but it's been a little bit more of as like a word of mouth type of thing. It's not like, you know, it's not like, in my bio, but like I do work with people, you know, people want to pay for my time and thoughts.
00:53:05:11 - 00:53:13:18
Billy
That's something I've done in the past, and it looks like something I might start doing a little bit more of. Yeah. So that's exciting.
00:53:13:20 - 00:53:22:21
Luna
Yeah. Beautiful. Okay. Anything else you want to say? Plug, feel, sensate, etc.?
00:53:22:23 - 00:53:29:20
Billy
You know, check out the Man Whore podcast wherever you listen to podcasts. Please don't brigade me. I would really appreciate that.
00:53:29:20 - 00:53:33:00
Luna
Please do have give man horror five stars on.
00:53:33:00 - 00:53:33:10
Billy
You know what I.
00:53:33:10 - 00:53:36:08
Luna
Feel like and a nice on Apple.
00:53:36:10 - 00:54:03:21
Billy
Yes. Yes, that would be nice as well. I would appreciate that. But yes, the man here podcast is one word man or the man whore podcast, wherever you listen, to podcast, I host sex positive conversations. If you are a woman particularly it basically if you hear the name of my podcast and you think, oh, I wouldn't like that, it actually means you probably would love it because it's not like, no, but truly, like, I made a terrible marketing decision ten years ago.
00:54:03:23 - 00:54:31:07
Billy
It because it's these are connected, thoughtful conversations about sex, dating, gender, sexuality, love. And but people see me or podcast and they look at my face and they go like, oh, this could be dudes talking about banging bitches. And I'm like, not really. Like, I feel like there's some men who like who I see, like some men find my podcast and then they, like, leave disappointed because they were like, man, he like, told me to, like, consider her feelings.
00:54:31:09 - 00:54:34:18
Billy
That's no fun.
00:54:34:20 - 00:54:41:05
Luna
One of the many, many reasons I adore you. I mean, I think you're a good influence. And you are my favorite man.
00:54:41:07 - 00:54:48:07
Billy
Wiley, thank you so much for having me back. You are my favorite alien podcast to live long and prosper.
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