Spanking, exhibitionism, threesomes, and dungeons—Dr. Tiffany Chan shares how she embraced submission, built a 24/7 power exchange, and turned her passion for sex into a thriving career.

📈 STATS | 37 pansexual female, she/her pronouns, monogamish, kink affirming sex educator, board-certified sexologist, model, content creator, designer of wearable art, published author and writer of smut, from Los Angeles, into: MF three-ways, play parties, BDSM, sex toys, kink, and connection.

🔗 DR TIFFANY LINKS | tiffanychanofficial.com / @kipani

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00:00:00:03 - 00:00:32:17

Luna

Our guest today is a 37 year old female pansexual monogamy switch, and she is a creative sultan and specialist in the arts of connection. She is into EMF three ways play parties and dungeons, has spent time both as a dominant and more recently as a submissive, and is here to tell us what she has learned about sex toys for anybody, and negotiating with a partner about kinks, a kink affirming, sex educated, board-certified, sexologist, model, content creator, designer of wearable art, published author and writer of smut from Los Angeles, California.

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Luna

Welcome, doctor. Tiffany Chan.

00:00:34:23 - 00:00:39:13

Dr Tiffany

Thank you so much. And man, I should have you write all my intros. That was fabulous. Thank you.

00:00:39:15 - 00:01:04:00

Luna

I can send you a copy of that one. I love writing people's intros, and I know it's kind of annoying the way that I like to gather details, but I really like being able to make my own system. So, Thank you. I'm glad you like it. Can you pretty please and start off by telling our sweet listeners, if you had to rate yourself today on a sexual shame meter, with ten being the most full of shame and zero being like, I don't have any sexual shame, where do you fall today and when, if ever over the years, has your shamed coaster squiggle?

00:01:04:02 - 00:01:25:06

Dr Tiffany

Oh my gosh. I would say at this point I have no shame. I definitely have no shame. I've talked about everything on, on the internet that that you could possibly imagine. There's very few things I haven't either done or talked about. In terms of my past, I definitely grew up with a lot of shame, thinking that there was something wrong with me, especially being queer.

00:01:25:06 - 00:01:43:23

Dr Tiffany

You know, growing up and having a crush on my best girlfriend and, you know, had no idea that that was something, you know, to be ashamed of until, you know, we're we're out and we're hanging around and people started looking and talking and saying things. And before I knew it, it was like, wow, something, something feels weird to me.

00:01:44:01 - 00:01:50:14

Dr Tiffany

So yeah, my shame has definitely gone away, but it took a lot of self-worth to get to that point.

00:01:50:16 - 00:02:10:02

Luna

Totally hear that. And it's so funny. I still get like little attacks sometimes when I'm receiving someone else's shame at me. Like my most likely way of causing a trigger explosion is to, like, get triggered by triggering someone else accidentally. So, I, I feel like I am ever a work in progress. Can you share with us how old you were?

00:02:10:04 - 00:02:18:16

Luna

Approximately. With that experience, you mentioned with your girlfriend? Like, kind of like realizing people were looking or realizing there was a quote unquote opposite of social norm.

00:02:18:18 - 00:02:19:09

Dr Tiffany

Oh, gosh.

00:02:19:09 - 00:02:39:17

Dr Tiffany

I think we were probably about 14, 14, 15. So it was like at the very beginning, I'd already had like a boyfriend or two by that point. And, my, my best friend and I like we it would started out just like experimenting. Like, what does this feel like what? And of course, my parents had skidmarks in the house, and, I don't think they quite realized that it was in my bedroom as well.

00:02:39:19 - 00:03:00:13

Dr Tiffany

So you start watching a lot of things and you get kind of curious. So, yeah, we would we would hang out and she would spend the night practically every night. And, we were homeschooled. So it was kind of like, got your score done during the day. And then we hung out. So we basically lived together for a good 2 or 3 months at a time, and then we would take a break for a while and then we would hang out again.

00:03:00:13 - 00:03:20:23

Dr Tiffany

So there was a lot of stuff going on. And my parents were very they're poly. So growing up, having parents that were very open minded and my mom was band photographer and she did a lot of, photography for High Times. So like being around such sort of flamboyant people that were very like, we don't care. Just be safe.

00:03:20:23 - 00:03:40:22

Dr Tiffany

Like, just do you be safe. The idea of, like, having that sort of shame was very weird. And then it didn't come from them like it came from everybody else. Like, why is this bad? I really I really love her. And before you knew it, we ended up getting, told by her parents that we had to. We weren't allowed to see each other anymore.

00:03:40:22 - 00:03:51:19

Dr Tiffany

I'm not allowed to hang out anymore. It turned into, like, an entire situation. We're friends today, but that was definitely an experience. I think that shaped, both of us as we got older.

00:03:51:21 - 00:03:58:19

Luna

Absolutely. So your parents were super open minded and kind of films like loving, loving Types. I understand.

00:03:58:21 - 00:04:14:10

Dr Tiffany

Very much. They didn't care as long as I had a good head on my shoulders. My grades were good. I wasn't getting my button in any trouble. My nose stayed clean. They didn't care. And that was kind of the way I thought everyone was. You know, being homeschooled, you're not around a bunch of public schoolers and you don't.

00:04:14:12 - 00:04:27:16

Dr Tiffany

You don't see kind of what the rest of the world is like. So I feel like I, I had like a blessing of being super sheltered, but also a curse because I was out before realizing what out was. And yeah, that's when the shame hit.

00:04:27:18 - 00:04:44:23

Luna

Interesting. It's almost like I kind of feel sometimes like, well, it's not like I ever, like, came out. I just was never in, you know, that, like I didn't. Yeah. Did did you ever get an explicit sex talk or sex education? I mean, if they were homeschooling you, then they gave you sex ed or did you have any.

00:04:45:01 - 00:05:02:05

Dr Tiffany

Oh, there's definitely sex ed. So the homeschooling program I had was it was kind of like a blended study sort of thing. So I did like my core classes on a campus with a very small group of people. And then all my homework and all of my assignments I would do at home and everything my mom turned into like some sort of an educational experience.

00:05:02:05 - 00:05:20:07

Dr Tiffany

We went to the park, you know, go name a plant for me, you know, like everything was something. And with sex ed, it was always so open minded, like in terms of talking about it. And we, we had, a family member who had HIV. And it was one of those things like, this is how you prevent it.

00:05:20:07 - 00:05:38:08

Dr Tiffany

This is what you don't do. You know, these are the things that happen in the world. So I already kind of had like this weird understanding of it and then learning about it through books. I've go to library, I would have assignments through my health class that I would have to take at school, and it was just such a, I don't know, it was so normal.

00:05:38:08 - 00:05:48:06

Dr Tiffany

And it's a weird experience to have that compared to how things are today. It's yeah, it's one of those very, surreal experiences growing up.

00:05:48:12 - 00:06:06:21

Luna

Yeah, yeah, I have my own version because I didn't grow up with an abundance of information. I was just told, like, don't get pressured into stuff, but I didn't know what to do. But I also did not understand how open minded I was until I really went on this mission that started seven years ago of being like, what do you think about sex?

00:06:06:21 - 00:06:28:21

Luna

What do you like? What are you into? And that's it. Only even in the last few years that I'm like, oh, people are that shame me about it sometimes. And so that's that's an interesting way to learn. When did you start to learn for yourself about yourself? Like when did you learn to kind of like explore your own pleasure and what sort of guidelines, if any, were you offered around that?

00:06:28:21 - 00:06:31:09

Luna

Like, was it Skinner, Max Skinner?

00:06:31:09 - 00:06:54:03

Dr Tiffany

Max definitely was a big precursor to a lot of things, and I imagine my surprise as I got older to realize that it's not actually how sex really is in the real world. It's like a fantasy. It's an example. It's something, you know, like you you dream about, but it is absolutely not like that. You know, somebody comes to your door and oh, hey, come on, baby, that doesn't happen in real life very often.

00:06:54:05 - 00:06:56:23

Dr Tiffany

Unless we, you know, create the same rules, like. Yeah.

00:06:57:01 - 00:06:58:06

Luna

Yeah, yeah.

00:06:58:08 - 00:07:20:03

Dr Tiffany

But in terms of, like, exploring my own body, it's it's really funny. I have this conversation every now and again with my partner, and, I started exploring myself really, really young, like, probably middle school, high school. And once I realized that I could hit a certain point that felt really, really good. I did it all the time.

00:07:20:03 - 00:07:42:15

Dr Tiffany

I would lock myself in my bedroom and I would be like, you know, I turn the music up real loud. And I had started writing like my own sort of fanfiction and erotica and things like that, and putting all my fantasies down, and before I knew it, like I would be really, really turned on once I figured out how to press certain buttons, it was just hours, hours a day where I'm like, in there doing my own thing.

00:07:42:20 - 00:07:54:21

Dr Tiffany

So by the time I was already having sex and having relationships and things, it was very like, no, no, no, don't do it that way. You do it this way. This is how I get there. I was very like demanding about it.

00:07:54:23 - 00:07:56:01

Dr TIffany

Okay, okay okay okay.

00:07:56:03 - 00:08:17:17

Luna

So you literally been pushing your own buttons, as in, like clitoris pleasure sports. Okay, okay. My very little brain always wants to make sure, because sometimes we use metaphors very literally. Okay. So you were middle school. High school. Okay. Do you remember anything from your early years that were part of your learnings? Like when did you first become aware of sex?

00:08:17:19 - 00:08:21:01

Dr Tiffany

Oh gosh, I had been aware of sex for.

00:08:21:03 - 00:08:21:21

Dr TIffany

God around.

00:08:21:21 - 00:08:37:17

Dr Tiffany

The time that Cinemax was around, because it was such a big deal for us that we didn't have TV in the house for a very long time. My dad had gotten a really good job, so the first thing my mom did was go, and she got HBO and in Cinemax, and it was like the coolest thing. And we would all sit around and we'd be watching stuff.

00:08:37:19 - 00:08:48:20

Dr Tiffany

And then it was one night. I very distinctly remember being maybe 11 or 12, and I turned the TV on at 11:00. I couldn't sleep, so I turned the TV on and I'm like.

00:08:48:20 - 00:08:49:13

Dr TIffany

Whoa.

00:08:49:13 - 00:08:59:17

Dr Tiffany

What is this? This is the coolest shit ever. And I would watch that clock like, I don't know if you remember. Way back in the day, there was a show called Real Sex.

00:08:59:19 - 00:09:06:08

Luna

And heard people talk about it, but I never had cable, so there's like, so much that I never learned about.

00:09:06:13 - 00:09:29:03

Dr Tiffany

There are some underground places that you can still find the old episodes because there is like banned across the board now. But it was the coolest show because it talked about, they would interview people on the street and they would talk about their sex life. Like what they like blowjobs, eating out, like all the things. And then they would do clips of, like little cartoons from way back in the day, from the 70s and how it's changed.

00:09:29:03 - 00:10:03:17

Dr Tiffany

And they would talk about things like body hair and different types of kinks and elements like that. And it was so eye opening. So that was sort of like my first initial, wow, this is this is sex. This is kind of cool. Like people just talking about it. How fun is that? And as I started getting older and I would have like, you know, my first jobs and stuff like that, I remember a friend of mine, at a coworker at the time discussing, like, her, her relationship, and she had so much trouble with, like, talking about just.

00:10:03:19 - 00:10:18:23

Dr Tiffany

Yeah, he always wants to do this, and I really don't like it, but it's, you know, not my thing. And. But I do it for him because I love him. And I'm like, why? Why? If you don't like it, if I can say something. So I think I've always been this person of just I want to talk about it.

00:10:18:23 - 00:10:31:18

Dr Tiffany

I want people to feel free to talk about it. Every human, we we're on this planet for this much amount of time. Not very long. Fucking get the sex you need. Get the sex you want. Get the sex you dream about why not?

00:10:31:19 - 00:10:34:00

Dr TIffany

Yeah, absolutely.

00:10:34:01 - 00:10:53:05

Luna

I mean, for me, sex is like a transcendent, co-created experience. I'm like, I and every single energy is a different thing for me to experience and feel. So I'm like, I would like to have reasonable circumstances to try it with as many people as it makes sense. You know, that's kind of my personal take. What would you say is sexy to you?

00:10:53:05 - 00:10:57:22

Luna

Like what feels sexy? What gets you excited? Or what is the definition of sexy.

00:10:58:00 - 00:11:22:06

Dr Tiffany

Of my gosh, I think for me, the definition of sexy is confidence and comfort. Being confident in yourself and being comfortable with the person that you're with, or even just comfortable with ourselves. So many like, especially when I'm talking to some of my clients, my female client specifically, and they are so uncomfortable with themselves to the point where they can't even look themselves naked in the mirror.

00:11:22:08 - 00:11:30:06

Dr Tiffany

And that's a really, like, profound thing. Like, what is it like when you look at yourself in the mirror where your eyes drawn? What is it that.

00:11:30:08 - 00:11:30:13

Dr TIffany

Is.

00:11:30:13 - 00:11:48:12

Dr Tiffany

Bothering you? And how do we turn that around? How do we make that? Like you look in the mirror and you think you own the fact that you're a goddess. You are embodiment of pleasure. You can give it to yourself. You can give it to others. How awesome is that? And when that that starts to sort of flip, it's it's an amazing thing.

00:11:48:12 - 00:12:09:18

Dr Tiffany

So I think for me being sexy is being able to just love the skin that I'm in. All of its flaws, all the all the stuff that goes along with it. But know that this is a vessel that I get to give the most pleasure to whenever I want, and I get to use it to help give somebody else or multiple somebody else's pleasure, too.

00:12:09:18 - 00:12:12:08

Dr Tiffany

That's I don't know, it. Does that make sense?

00:12:12:10 - 00:12:36:12

Luna

Oh, it makes total sense to me. You know, I have the benefit or challenge or whatever opportunity in this lifetime to have led people through some really personal experience. You know, as a photographer, kind of one of my origin stories was helping people by taking pictures of them without clothes on, you know, and then that kind of translated into taking pictures of people with their partner having intimate experiences.

00:12:36:12 - 00:12:57:05

Luna

And I still do that sometimes, but now I have a lot of in-person experience. And so I've gotten to see up close, actually, more so with penis having clients, just how much we have. We either collective humans have. Everyone seems to have something about their body they feel self-conscious about. So I totally hear that. And I love that you support people in that.

00:12:57:05 - 00:13:06:02

Luna

Is that something that comes easily to you? Or like, I know that I am only a teacher because of my own struggles. Like, what has your journey with that kind of like self-love been like?

00:13:06:04 - 00:13:28:02

Dr Tiffany

It's definitely been I think I'm able to have those conversations a lot more, because I do bring a lot of my personal, you know, experiences into it. And like, I remember what it felt like to look in the mirror and absolutely hate myself, to not want to to even see it anymore. Like, I, I went through some really, really, really rough times, several years ago.

00:13:28:02 - 00:13:50:14

Dr Tiffany

And it's like before I got into this relationship, when I was really, I felt ashamed. I, I was a parent at that point. I felt like because I was a parent, all of a sudden sex shut off. And that was kind of the way in that relationship that I was sort of made to feel as well. And I sort of allowed myself to fall into that pit of, well, damn, I guess life is over for me.

00:13:50:14 - 00:14:10:03

Dr Tiffany

And when I finally sort of opened up and I got so sick and tired of that feeling of just hating myself and hating the fact that I had these needs and I had these ones, and I'm trying to do all these things, and I feel helpless. I was like, I'm, I'm done. I want to be happy with myself.

00:14:10:03 - 00:14:32:03

Dr Tiffany

I deserve the pleasure to damn it. Just because I had kids does not mean that my pleasure sensors are shut off and I. I took it back, and, certain people in my life were not happy that I took it back. And I started being very vocal about the things that I missed and the things that I wanted to do again and experience and sort of my personal bucket list of things I want to go and do.

00:14:32:05 - 00:14:54:08

Dr Tiffany

So, you know, as my as my kids grew up, it was like, okay, I'm, I'm ready to experience something. And I had that conversation with my then partner and we chose to to separate and to go our separate ways. Thankfully, him and I are still really great friends, and now I'm sort of, in a weird way, helping him on his own journey to opening himself up in his own way.

00:14:54:10 - 00:15:14:17

Dr Tiffany

And my current partner and I, we are, you know, loving our relationship because we were brought together. We found each other through a dynamic. First we were contracted dominants up. So that was, you know, an amazing experience as well. And it's I don't know, it's been kind of it's been a very, transformative journey. I will say that.

00:15:14:21 - 00:15:44:07

Luna

It sure sounds like it. I love all of this, and I'm so excited to get a few more details. I also love that share because a how fucking wonderful is it to have a clear example of a human being, you who's moving through the world having different relationships. I think of relationships as growth partnerships. Like I'm not a big till death do us part person like I'm personally, I'm not pursuing marriage, although I've been pursued in marriage by a handful of people and I'm sort of like, well, got to be practical about this first and foremost.

00:15:44:07 - 00:16:08:00

Luna

And so I love that you have it sounds like kind of evolving connections and relationships go back to the formative experiences for me. And between the time where you started exploring yourself and those experiences with your girlfriend, was there anything like formative for you to explore? Was that kind of the next step for you? Like, what other early parts of your origin story turned you into the human that you are?

00:16:08:02 - 00:16:38:18

Dr Tiffany

Oh my gosh. One of my mom's listening. Mom. Hey, you'll understand this. My mom had a subscription to cosmopolitan magazine, and and she would always had it was a bathroom reading. So, you know, you have your magazine rack and everything in the bathroom. So she she loved Cosmo, like Cosmo was her diehard, like, guilty pleasure. And, around that time, I had started reading about, about different, you know, sex techniques and blowjobs and all these, these things.

00:16:38:20 - 00:17:00:01

Dr Tiffany

And I remember being with because I had, I had my girlfriend, but, the public side, because of how much shit we were getting, we both had boyfriends. So we always had, like, ways to kind of hang out and do our thing, even though it was kind of a weird situation at the time. But I was like, oh my gosh, you know, I really I read this thing like, could I, could I try this like, is this something that you'd be down for?

00:17:00:01 - 00:17:27:13

Dr Tiffany

Of course he was like, yes, let's do this. I learning techniques from Cosmo magazine, learning what I was on Real Sex on Cinemax, and all the things I think made me a very sexual being at a very young age and probably around 15, 16. I was just exploring and I was having a good time with people I wasn't trying to get into, like a steadfast relationship.

00:17:27:13 - 00:17:49:12

Dr Tiffany

It was just I was exploring my different situations, and I was kind of pegged by a lot of people in the neighborhood as like, this little slut. And it was like, wow, you're fucking suck. Like, how dare you? And as I grew up, that word actually kind of hit me hard, like it was. It was such a bad word.

00:17:49:12 - 00:17:55:15

Dr Tiffany

A bad thing to be called. As I've grown. Now, that's like the favorite thing in the world to be called. Like, honestly, yes.

00:17:55:17 - 00:17:58:07

Dr TIffany

00:17:58:09 - 00:18:04:19

Dr Tiffany

But still a little formative things I think like that. It's funny how they come back around just all the sudden you're like the kind of like that.

00:18:04:22 - 00:18:21:09

Luna

I had my own version of that because literally when I was 15 the popular girl in my class called me a whore and I like I had no experience. I was like, how could I? I haven't even what I could possibly, you know, and now I'm like, owning it, you know, in a whole new way. So it sounds like it did feel bad at the time.

00:18:21:11 - 00:18:29:06

Luna

Yeah. And it sounds like there was. You are shocked by a lot of social stigma and pressure. When did that sort of start to dissipate for you?

00:18:29:08 - 00:18:53:05

Dr Tiffany

It really started to dissipate after I had left home and I was, oh my gosh, I think I was maybe 21 or so. This is right before I started having my kids and I was bartending. And so like I went through this whole sort of experience of I left home when I was 17, I graduated, was going to going to school in Arizona, and I was in another relationship at the time.

00:18:53:05 - 00:19:15:12

Dr Tiffany

That turned into a really toxic one, unfortunately. But I was I was bartending and working my way through through school. And I, I think things started to really sort of shift for me when I started to get to know other people and really have, like, more kind of relationships outside of just my partner at the time or a coworker.

00:19:15:12 - 00:19:35:00

Dr Tiffany

But actual friendships and wow, you know, just talking about things and how good it felt and before you knew it, like it was therapeutic to talk about the experiences and to talk about wants and needs and weird things. And then you get in the, you know, you have a few drinks and you get in the down and dirty stuff, like so, you know, I really like this one toy.

00:19:35:00 - 00:19:52:09

Dr Tiffany

Have you ever heard of it? And then that's how I found out about the magic wand. I had no idea about sex toys really up until that point. And I was like, oh my God, this toy is like, incredible. How how is this not like something that's gifted to you on your 18th birthday every year? This is just so cool.

00:19:52:11 - 00:20:12:12

Dr Tiffany

So yeah, it definitely, around that time, just talking with people and realizing how important those conversations were was really what started to flip the switch for me. I had no idea that sex could be a career though. Like at that point I had no clue about that. I was going to school to become a. I wanted to be a writer.

00:20:12:18 - 00:20:36:20

Dr Tiffany

I ended up being an English professor and a, professor of, of world literature for ten years. And then I started to realize, like, wow, I'm writing sex stories and publishing sex stories, you know, erotica and things like that. I really have this sort of underground version of myself. Sex is so huge to me. And yet I've always been a teacher in some capacity or another.

00:20:36:22 - 00:20:57:09

Dr Tiffany

And then it started to dawn on me. Like, I wonder if there's something else out there that I could bring these two things together with. And I started researching and like sexologists and sex educators. Well, I do that for my friends already. Why not do it more? So that's sort of the path that I ended up going down.

00:20:57:09 - 00:21:16:14

Dr Tiffany

And then before I knew it, there was content creators and the pandemic hits. And I'm like, doing all this stuff online because I realize I'm an exhibitionist and I absolutely love it. And my partner is like, he loves it just as much. You know, he's he's a lot like I am. And we really build on each other with that way.

00:21:16:14 - 00:21:32:01

Dr Tiffany

So I think having that new relationship of having some your height person be your best friend, your partner in crime and your partner in sex and just loving the exploration part of it. It's yeah, that's where I am today.

00:21:32:03 - 00:21:55:14

Luna

Oh, I love that. Okay. I would love to hear details about what you are enjoying today. It sounds like a lot of things you can fill in any like previous gaps from 20s, whatever, whatever feels formative. Because I want more details about like especially also the balance of your work and pleasure life. I'm a person who my sex related work continues to inform my personal life in all kinds of surprising ways.

00:21:55:14 - 00:22:00:10

Luna

So where where feels the best place to start for you? Here?

00:22:00:12 - 00:22:18:10

Dr Tiffany

Oh my gosh. We didn't start, I guess with the balance aspect because I'm still like, balance for me is is something I'm always aching for. Like, it's funny, I'm a Libra, but I'm right on the cusp between Libra and Scorpio. So I always tell people I aggressively seek balance in all things and it's really hard to get.

00:22:18:10 - 00:22:37:20

Dr Tiffany

So yeah, way back in the day, I know I was, I was working so much, I was working multiple jobs, teaching like crazy, especially when I had my kids and even even before I had them. I was working 1 or 2 jobs at a time. I was bartending during the evenings. I was going to school during the day, and then I would pick up part time work whenever I could.

00:22:37:22 - 00:22:59:22

Dr Tiffany

And I realized pretty quickly that I was feeling really repressed, like a lot of my sexuality, for being such a sexual being and having to basically like, focus on just masturbating when I had the opportunity to. And then everything else just sort of went into my stories and into my books because God forbid I ever tell anybody that I have all these crazy kinks.

00:23:00:00 - 00:23:19:10

Dr Tiffany

It was like, what? How do I sort of make all of this balance? I felt really like for a long time, I was seeking that balance and didn't know how to get it. And once I made that call for from, you know, me and my then partner decided to separate our ways so that we could make space for each other to go find what we really needed.

00:23:19:12 - 00:23:40:04

Dr Tiffany

And it was really like a supportive experience. Like, listen, I know this is what you're into and I can't give this to you. I want you to go and find someone that can give this to you and vice versa. And so finding my my now partner and having that balance, and now I get to live through pleasure like my entire existence is pleasurable.

00:23:40:04 - 00:24:04:21

Dr Tiffany

Making my my wearable art is pleasure. For me, having sex is super pleasurable. Knowing that having sex and or masturbating and somebody else is getting pleasure from that on the end of the screen. Yo, that is like the best feeling in the world. And that's what drives me crazy when I hear people give OnlyFans girls, or cam girls or sex workers in general, such a bad rap.

00:24:04:21 - 00:24:12:00

Dr Tiffany

It's like, you know what? We're here because we fucking love it and we get to have orgasms for a living. Fuck you.

00:24:12:00 - 00:24:13:04

Dr TIffany

Like it is.

00:24:13:04 - 00:24:14:17

Dr Tiffany

The best thing in the world.

00:24:14:19 - 00:24:35:06

Luna

Yeah, it's so good. It's funny because usually when I try to get curious about what people have a problem with, they usually have not really actually interacted with anything but other people's ideas about those things. And any time I come across a person who really will dive into the actual other human being, on the end of that, it's they're like, oh wow, well, what you do is fantastic.

00:24:35:06 - 00:24:51:22

Luna

You know, I there are a couple exceptions and like, I, you know, you got your slut shaming experience. I've now encountered homophobia coming from the background as an artist where that didn't exist as a thing for me. And now sometimes I stumble into situations and I'm like, patrolman seems very rude and I'm like realizing what he's actually reacting to.

00:24:51:22 - 00:25:07:15

Luna

And it's like usually just ideas of things instead of the actual human being. Okay, so can you drop us into timelines on when that separation with your original partner happened? And kind of like how long you've been in this new sounds like a kinky connection. Is it still kinky?

00:25:07:17 - 00:25:10:17

Dr Tiffany

Oh, is very, very that's that's our entire basis for.

00:25:10:17 - 00:25:12:05

Dr TIffany

Our relationship, to be honest.

00:25:12:07 - 00:25:48:04

Dr Tiffany

Yes, I love it. So my partner now and I have been together since 2018. Okay. And in 20. So at the very beginning of 2018 was when I had started, when I came to my partner and we'd already been like it was sexless for a really long time. I was working constantly. He was working constantly. We were literally on completely separate ends of the spectrum when it came to our work schedules, and I was working from home, so I was taking care of the kids, I was running around, I was doing things and it was like, you know, I, I, we tried to sort of work it out and talk it out.

00:25:48:06 - 00:26:13:17

Dr Tiffany

And I knew for myself that I, I wanted more, I wanted to experience more. I had so many things I wanted to do with other people. And I was like, you know what? I don't want to be somebody that is going to be a cheater. I don't want to like, at the time, I was in a monogamous relationship and I was like, I know, I know, I'm not a person that is necessarily satisfied with just one individual.

00:26:13:17 - 00:26:34:02

Dr Tiffany

I know I need more than that, and there's just a plethora of things like, I need two dudes and a chick, like I need all of it all at once. You know, I didn't, but obviously I didn't say quite in those words. I was trying to be really cool with my ex. Now we we laugh about it, but, so we were like, okay, let's let's separate, let's figure this out.

00:26:34:02 - 00:26:51:08

Dr Tiffany

And we couldn't really like, leave in terms of separating from the house. So I ended up going in, staying in the other end of the house. He stayed in his end of the house and we were trying to figure everything out. And that was when I met online on FET life, by the way, that life is a dangerous place.

00:26:51:08 - 00:26:57:17

Dr Tiffany

Everybody don't think that, and everybody that DMs you is going to be like this story. This is a very rare experience. That is my disclaimer.

00:26:57:17 - 00:26:59:02

Luna

Thank you for that.

00:26:59:04 - 00:27:16:06

Dr Tiffany

And so my, my partner and I, we started talking, and I didn't want to be in a relationship. And we were very upfront and honest, like we're both about to go through some shitty divorces. I don't want to be in a relationship. I just know that I need a Domme in my life. I've been a Dom to every other human being.

00:27:16:06 - 00:27:34:19

Dr Tiffany

I have dumbed myself. I have dumped every aspect of my existence. I want somebody to dom me. And so he was an experienced Dom and we had like a little contract and it was, not so much sexual at first. At first it was very much almost like managerial, like, okay, I want you to text me when you've done this.

00:27:34:19 - 00:27:53:08

Dr Tiffany

I want you to text me when you've done it. So it's all these things that we agreed upon that I knew I needed help with, that I needed accountability for, and it was really helping. And all of a sudden we were like talking more and realizing we have the same interests. And he's he's an attorney. But his background was in he got his degree in English literature.

00:27:53:10 - 00:28:27:01

Dr Tiffany

So we had like all of a sudden this additional thing of being super, super sexual. And we knew that at that point, okay, this is something more than just a contract. This is feeling like it could be built on something. We decided to take it to the next level, and I left my job. All of my jobs up here or up up here, up there and, you know, northern California and moved down here to LA and, brought my kids and everything with me, and we decided to make a life out of it.

00:28:27:03 - 00:28:47:01

Dr Tiffany

And right when we were in the middle of doing all of this stuff and starting to make this a full time, committed thing, the California Camp fire happened. So I we ended up losing the house. We lost absolutely everything. And the kids, you know, are down here and all their stuff is now gone. And, you know, what are we going to do?

00:28:47:03 - 00:29:07:18

Dr Tiffany

And now me, my, my ex and I were sitting there like, you know what? This is a blessing. How much of a blessing is this that we get both a clean slate. We get to restart everything on a good foot. You're in a great relationship. I'm getting into a great relationship. The kids get to have a brand new start to everything.

00:29:07:19 - 00:29:13:10

Dr Tiffany

How fucking much of a blessing is this? And it was the weirdest. Sort of like.

00:29:13:12 - 00:29:14:22

Dr TIffany

Wow.

00:29:15:00 - 00:29:42:17

Dr Tiffany

It's a terrible situation, complete tragedy for so many individuals. And yet we are walking out of this with something literally feeling like the universe gifted us with fresh, clean slates. And it really helped us sort of build our friendship. And then it also helped my, my now partner and I, begin to build our, our experiences. And we were able to do so much more than we ever could have, if that hadn't happened.

00:29:42:19 - 00:30:04:06

Dr Tiffany

So, like in terms of rebuilding, like the relationship and stuff, like we started being able to just spend more time together because I wasn't in such a rush all the time to make a lot of money so that we could build up everything. It was buying furniture and being like a normal couple for a second. And then we ended up building like a bedroom dungeon.

00:30:04:06 - 00:30:07:08

Dr TIffany

So I was wondering, okay, okay, we're going.

00:30:07:08 - 00:30:27:20

Luna

To need details about that. Before we go there, though, can you tell us where in your timeline your different jobs unfolded? So English professor, first, where did sexology, where did content creation? And then like your creative stuff like you were a founder and like it sounds like you were already writing, but like, I love it because I love meeting other people that are like, I do a billion things too.

00:30:27:20 - 00:30:31:02

Luna

I'm like, oh, thank God. Okay, because you're not going to look at me weird.

00:30:31:04 - 00:30:54:04

Dr Tiffany

Yeah, it's what people do. Look at me very, very odd. Sometimes it's like, you do this and this and this and this. Like, yeah, my brain doesn't stop. I can't it just doesn't shut off. So I did my I was a English world literature creative writing professor for about ten years. And there was a couple of points where I I've always been super nerdy when it comes to like, computer stuff, building websites, coding.

00:30:54:04 - 00:31:11:03

Dr Tiffany

I find it kind of fun. So I, I reached out to a couple people and I was like, in, in the universities I was working for. I said, hey, if you ever need any help, like with curriculum development, learning management systems, like I'm pretty handy with the stuff, at least from the teacher side. Let me know if you need additional help.

00:31:11:03 - 00:31:31:06

Dr Tiffany

And they actually called me and said, hey, could you come on board and we could use somebody that could build some of these classrooms and rewrite some of the, the English and essay writing curriculum? So I started doing that. So my repertoire started going from just a teacher, a professor to now curriculum developer and learning management systems, developer.

00:31:31:08 - 00:31:54:13

Dr Tiffany

And when I came down to Los Angeles, like, I'm sorry, but adjunct teaching online does not pay enough to live in Los Angeles. No. So, I started looking around for a job, and I ended up becoming the, director of the at home program, which was a learning management system. That mechanism, the global company started to to produce right before the pandemic hit.

00:31:54:15 - 00:32:12:06

Dr Tiffany

So I, I jumped on board with that. And I did that for about two years. And I had it was one of those weird things, like I went from working from home to now the corporate world, really for the first time in my life. And I had a gorgeous office overlooking Santa Monica and the ocean. It was just beautiful.

00:32:12:08 - 00:32:36:06

Dr Tiffany

But I was working so much. I was literally working to put my kids in daycare at home. I'm like trying my best just to be with my new partner. We're we're kind of building our situation up, going through the fire, still going through the divorces and finalizing everything. And then it just turned into sort of, man, this is really, really hard.

00:32:36:07 - 00:33:05:08

Dr Tiffany

Something is missing. What is missing here for me. And that was when I started looking into the sexology stuff and realizing, like, I need to start making sex a really big priority. It's so big for me already. It's big in my relationship. Why not see what else is out there? And so I started putting myself through the ICI program, the Institute of Educational or Enlightenment Sexuality Education, enlightenment and going through their program.

00:33:05:08 - 00:33:30:10

Dr Tiffany

And I was like, you know what? If I can make this work and I am making at least as much money doing what, you know, sex education as I am in the corporate world, I will drop my corporate job. And at first it was a little bit slow. And then the pandemic happened, and I'm now at home and I'm trying to do all of, you know, working from home and homeschooling my kids and doing all this stuff.

00:33:30:15 - 00:33:55:07

Dr Tiffany

Just finished up my IC program trying to build that business up. And I, I was literally burnt the fuck out like I was just no longer here, not present, don't even know where I am half the time. And my daughter comes over. She goes, mom, you should check out TikTok. I'm like, oh, what is this? And I start flipping through and there's all these people and they're they're doing fun things.

00:33:55:07 - 00:34:12:10

Dr Tiffany

And I saw Sony Megatron on there. And I start, you know, seeing the other educators, how they're doing their thing. But I didn't have enough confidence in myself to do that yet. And all these little girls are doing, you know, shuffle dances. And I'm like, you know, that looks like good exercise. I don't have anything else that I'm doing at home.

00:34:12:10 - 00:34:32:04

Dr Tiffany

You know, on the evening hours, so why not? And I started learning to, to dance and started posting some of it at the same time. I had a, I had a full time a day color that I would wear and people wouldn't notice my dancing. They started asking about my caller.

00:34:32:06 - 00:34:32:11

Dr TIffany

And.

00:34:32:11 - 00:35:00:13

Dr Tiffany

Before I knew it, I was becoming an educator on TikTok without even meaning. So. So one person asks about the caller. I explain it very, you know, this is between me. My partner is a consenting relationship. This is who we are as people, blah blah blah. Oh my God, I had no idea. Tell me more. So I was starting to answer the same questions over and over again, and at one point I had a little over 70,000 followers just based on my education content by itself.

00:35:00:13 - 00:35:28:03

Dr Tiffany

Like screw the dancing, no one gives a crap like that, but I start doing that. So, I'm like, I need to do something with this. I'll turn it into a podcast because then I can just answer one question will be one episode and I can just say, go here. So I did that for the Submissive Next Door podcast, and it turned into such a hit that I was like, wow, I think I finally can do this now, what else can I do?

00:35:28:05 - 00:35:45:04

Dr Tiffany

So my partner and I had already been kind of messing around a little bit on Reddit and posting some naughty pictures and you know, there's, you know, no face and all that kind of stuff because I'm still trying to be in the dark and, you know, not out in the open yet. And that's where that my stage name company came from.

00:35:45:04 - 00:35:49:14

Dr Tiffany

That was really profound, right? No one's ever going to know Tiffany and Tiffany. So I did.

00:35:49:14 - 00:35:52:17

Luna

Not make the connection. I was like company. What a cool name.

00:35:52:17 - 00:35:55:00

Dr TIffany

I wonder what it means. Like, I mean, it's the.

00:35:55:00 - 00:36:16:09

Dr Tiffany

Hawaiian name of Kip or of Tiffany, so it's like beautiful. Literally the same name. Yeah. But, so I start doing that stuff with my partner and people on Reddit really liked it. And then people on on TikTok, everything started to grow. And then I see all these creators out there doing fun cosplays and art, and then finding out that they also were only fans, girls.

00:36:16:09 - 00:36:36:13

Dr Tiffany

And I was like, well, maybe I'll just I'll just see what happens. I'm just going to make an OnlyFans just for shits and giggles. Had no plans whatsoever that this was going to become a huge part of my career. And in the first two months, I ended up making over 30 grand of people.

00:36:36:13 - 00:36:38:03

Dr TIffany

A good chunk to.

00:36:38:06 - 00:36:53:18

Dr Tiffany

The first two months. And this was, you know, pandemic hit. So I got I think a lot of it was like hit the wagon at the right time when the pandemic hits and everybody else is doing the same thing and everybody's at home, you know, jerking off like, what else are you going to do? During the pandemic? I spent most of the pandemic once I left my job doing the same thing.

00:36:53:20 - 00:37:24:11

Dr Tiffany

So that was like, okay, this is this is it. This is now a job. I have to treat this as a job. And that was really what started off this entire thing. So I have my my business, which is the intimacy consultant, where I help people talk about what they want. And then I have my OnlyFans, where I get to actually create beautiful, you know, gowns and dresses and that's becoming like its own version of something right now, where people are now commissioning me to make gowns for them.

00:37:24:12 - 00:37:40:09

Dr Tiffany

But it's, it's the it's the very cool thing to have the ability to. Okay, today I think I'm feeling kind of horny. I think I'm just going to, you know, throw out some videos and, you know, do that. And then tomorrow I'll work on a dress and then the next day I'll sit and write a sex ed article.

00:37:40:09 - 00:37:48:15

Dr Tiffany

You know, it's I cannot imagine a better existence. And I feel very grateful that it's all happening.

00:37:48:18 - 00:37:50:14

Dr TIffany

Who I am.

00:37:50:14 - 00:38:13:01

Luna

Celebrating that so hard. And I could ask you a million follow up questions about work, but let's save that in case we reconvene, because I really want to know what brings you great joy and sexual pleasure. I am very kinky. It's been a minute since I've been in a power relationship dynamic. As a submissive, I have a lot of like shorter form contracts where I am the dominant person.

00:38:13:01 - 00:38:19:15

Luna

But I would love to hear everything you feel like sharing about what you love with or without a power dynamic.

00:38:19:17 - 00:38:43:13

Dr Tiffany

Oh my gosh. Spanking is a really big one. I absolutely love to be spanked. Definitely exhibitionism and obviously consensual exhibitionism. And which we get, like my partner and I, we used to go to a dungeon here in LA. It was pre-pandemic, so unfortunately they're no longer around. But it was like a very upscale mansion that was in the Hollywood Hills, and it was so incredible.

00:38:43:13 - 00:39:01:12

Dr Tiffany

And we would go like, we got to know these people on a first name basis, like it was. It was they knew when we were showing up. And in fact, I'll tell you a quick I'll make it as quick as possible, but like our, our wedding night, so we get married, do the ceremony, you know, it's really small handful of people, close friends and family kind of thing.

00:39:01:14 - 00:39:21:10

Dr Tiffany

And I purposely said there's an 8 p.m. cutoff for the reception. We're done. Kids go off with parents. You know, it's our wedding night and everything. Everyone figures that we're going to go to a nice hotel and have this, you know, very special kids experience. No, I had messaged the owner of the dungeon and I said, hey, my partner and I just got married.

00:39:21:12 - 00:39:42:13

Dr Tiffany

We want to go and celebrate with you guys with our other family. So he puts out a blast message to everybody on the mailing list that we have newlyweds. We're going to help them welcome, you know, their new relationship. So we show up. And I had put on this cute little white outfit, so it wasn't like my wedding dress, but it was like very wedding esque.

00:39:42:15 - 00:40:08:07

Dr Tiffany

And he he brings me in, like, with a collar and the leash and the whole bit and proceeds to have a public flogging for our, our wedding night. So I got publicly flogged, I got publicly fucked, and everybody was cheering us on. It was the most magical experience. And it was like, I can't even describe how cool it was to have that sort of experience.

00:40:08:09 - 00:40:15:09

Dr Tiffany

But yeah, so that that's definitely being publicly celebrated. That's like a big deal for me.

00:40:15:09 - 00:40:25:10

Luna

The next level consummation of of a marriage. So, okay, so you knew at that point that you were into exhibitionism or when did you figure it out?

00:40:25:12 - 00:40:42:22

Dr Tiffany

When we first got together, we went through like the whole yes no maybe checklists and all of that and realized that there was a lot that we, we really loved and that we wanted to experience together. So we've kind of been making our way down the list over the years. It's quite enjoyable. You know, we've had our three ways.

00:40:42:22 - 00:40:48:00

Dr Tiffany

We've had group situations. We do the exhibitionist thing we love,

00:40:48:02 - 00:40:48:07

Dr TIffany

00:40:48:07 - 00:41:13:13

Dr Tiffany

A lot of, squirting action. That's definitely a fun one. Anything that has to do with just being out outside, especially under the sun, like, for us, when we went to Hawaii for our honeymoon, we spent a week there. We stayed at the Alani. It was beautiful. All the things. You know, this big fancy place barely saw the hotel because we found out through friends that there was a nude beach just kept away.

00:41:13:19 - 00:41:26:09

Dr Tiffany

So we. It's like, why did we bring clothes we had no reason to bring. We never did anything but kayak and lay on a beach butt naked with just amazing humans for our entire time.

00:41:26:11 - 00:41:48:07

Luna

Wow, that sounds amazing. So did you already know about kink going into that relationship? Or how much of your kind of like new? It sounds like there was like a second era of like, what have we call it, satisfying partner exploration. Was that happening in concert with your sexology training? Like how how did the learnings inform each other?

00:41:48:09 - 00:42:27:00

Dr Tiffany

So here, here's my dirty little secret. So most from the time I turned about 18, which gosh, I'm I'm going to try to count that back anymore. Because it sounds like a horrible number. But when I was like 18, 19 years old, that was when FET life first, first started. Like when it was just a I mean, it's still just a shitty forum, but it's, you know, the early days of like early forums and I, I, my, one of my very good friends, I had kind of confided a little bit in him and said, hey, God, you know, I've, I've been reading Anne Rice and I've been reading the beauty trilogy and I

00:42:27:00 - 00:42:52:17

Dr Tiffany

really it does this exist? And sure enough, you can find places if you look hard enough, you could find stuff like that. So I started exploring FET life and learning more about, you know, why does it turn me on to have the idea of this princess being paraded around naked and in free use and, you know, being flogged on stage like it was very much like a fantasy?

00:42:52:19 - 00:43:21:02

Dr Tiffany

Why? Clearly I'm not the only one that likes that sort of thing, because there's an entire book series about it. Yeah, and that was when I started really diving into what does it mean to be a submissive? What does it mean to surrender? What does it mean to be a dominant? And I started talking with people. So I had like sort of the not so consensual conversations with people, never went anywhere.

00:43:21:02 - 00:43:46:07

Dr Tiffany

I never did anything. It was never like meet it, meet ups or anything like that. But it was very much just talking with people and talking to other Doms and talking to male submissive specifically, who for whatever reason, I give off a down vibe. And it was that experience of like, okay, I know I have these needs and these ones, and I'm keeping it under wraps because I know a lot of people just think I'm completely insane for this.

00:43:46:09 - 00:44:01:19

Dr Tiffany

And especially my partner at the time, he he really wanted nothing to do with it. He didn't understand spanking. He didn't understand any of that stuff. It was just, you know, you want me to hit me. And he'd been brought up to never do that to a female. Like, how dare I even think about such a thing? Like, well, shit.

00:44:01:19 - 00:44:26:19

Dr Tiffany

All right, I'll figure it out on my own then. So that's really kind of how it started. And I kept it very private. And I would get really, like, feeling ashamed of myself that I was doing this sort of thing. So I'd walk away from FET life for a year or two at a time, and I would just write, and I would read, and I would write and read as much as I could, and then I'd get that inkling back of like, God, something's missing, something's missing.

00:44:26:19 - 00:44:36:10

Dr Tiffany

Maybe I'll just go and see what's up on the forums. And that was kind of how it was that back and forth forever. And now now I have my own him.

00:44:36:10 - 00:44:40:19

Dr TIffany

I was gonna say, wow. Okay, so so that's almost.

00:44:40:19 - 00:44:54:22

Luna

Like a lot of theoretical buildup. That's like long term edging with a lot of education underneath. It's the partner that you're with now, the first person that you like deeply explored kinky with.

00:44:55:00 - 00:45:20:14

Dr Tiffany

Deeply. Yeah I would say in terms of in-person stuff. Absolutely right. My first person I've really been like in person, I still have a male submissives who I was in, kind of short term relationships, through FET life of all things, that they're still friends today and I, it's like they're they know that I'm in a relationship where I don't have the mental capacity to dom somebody else on a full term basis.

00:45:20:16 - 00:45:37:23

Dr Tiffany

I definitely still have plenty of guys that come to me, and that that's one of my specialties is formed. But it's very, Yeah, this, this relationship is my first real like this is a 24 seven. This is an every day. This is a like this. This is it for us.

00:45:38:00 - 00:45:48:00

Luna

Okay. Yeah. Tell us the details of like, what is the 24 over seven agreement that you have in place? Like, what is it like, what do you love about it? How does it support you?

00:45:48:02 - 00:46:00:12

Dr Tiffany

It supports me so much because I have a lot with my ADHD. I have a lot of trouble with keeping myself accountable, getting things done during the day. I have, as you can probably see, I have 1,000,002 projects going.

00:46:00:12 - 00:46:00:23

Dr TIffany

On all at.

00:46:00:23 - 00:46:23:06

Dr Tiffany

Once, all the things all at once, and being able to have somebody that helps keep me accountable. It's almost like a a management system, but with a lot of extra perks. Yeah. And instead of, you know, get it getting, you know, told that, oh, you're, you're being a bad girl or whatever. It's like, no, no, no, I'm doing this because I want to be told that my bad girl like, it's it's the fun stuff.

00:46:23:11 - 00:46:45:13

Dr Tiffany

Punishment is a really big thing. So I very much enjoy my, my spankings when I've gotten everything done. For every project I get done, I get an extra spank. So it's it's very, Yeah, it's it makes it like something that I want to do every day. And for our dynamic, specifically when we got together, it was, you know, he is daddy Dom.

00:46:45:13 - 00:47:15:22

Dr Tiffany

He is very like giving his a pleasure. Dom, first and foremost. And he very much enjoys giving pleasure as much as possible. Like pushing me over my edge with pleasure as much as he humanly can. And I'm the same way. I am a service submissive, so my joy comes from servicing. I enjoy doing things and keeping the house clean and getting my projects done and organization so that when he comes home, he's he feels like, oh, I can rest and I can give my full attention to her.

00:47:15:22 - 00:47:34:05

Dr Tiffany

So it's very much we have a very reciprocal energy system between the two of us, and it's a flow of energy that's a constant. And the second that something starts feeling like, okay, there's not the flow, there's there's some sort of a kink in the flow here. Not in a good way. How do we address this? And we have our check ins.

00:47:34:05 - 00:47:54:10

Dr Tiffany

You know, we talk about, hey, I notice that you're you're struggling a little bit today. What can I do? How can I help support this. And it's that constant idea that our relationship are dynamic. If you look at it like it's like a garden, you have to keep on de weeding. You have to keep giving it water. You have to take care of that garden or it will die.

00:47:54:12 - 00:48:07:07

Dr Tiffany

And we always remind each other like, hey, how's the garden today? How, how are we feeling? How's the garden today? And that's a really powerful thing that I'd never had before in any other relationship.

00:48:07:09 - 00:48:42:01

Luna

That is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing and inspiring me personally, because I have been open to connection with a partner who wants to have those regular check ins, and I have not yet found someone who, like, says yes and has the follow through, like at that kind of like level of intensity. Like I'm a lot. I have a bucket list that is literal hundreds of items long, you know, and so sometimes just sharing that with someone is the end of our initial personal connection because they're like, well, I would love to hear if you have those check ins, are they scheduled, like, you know, and how often does that include, like, hey babe, here's

00:48:42:01 - 00:48:49:16

Luna

some new seeds I want to plant and or and or actually, what do you call each other? Because I said babe, but like, what do you actually call each other if you share that publicly?

00:48:49:18 - 00:49:14:02

Dr Tiffany

Oh no, of course I hear he's daddy. He's definitely daddy for me. I it's kind of funny. He tells me pretty much everything, you know, calls me babe, honey, all of the things. But the number one thing that really is something special to me is he calls me by my middle name, which is Jasmine. And Jasmine is one of those, like, no one else really knows, you know, to call me anything like that.

00:49:14:02 - 00:49:38:21

Dr Tiffany

No one has ever really called me that. And I feel a really big connection with that name just because of the flower. It's something really special to me for 100 different reasons. But that's his. His personal name, like the honorific for me, is calling me by the middle name. And it's sounds really corny and weird, but it's definitely, it's like it makes me perk up, you know, come up and he'll whisper in my ear like, hey, Jasmine.

00:49:38:23 - 00:49:42:13

Dr TIffany

Hey. Hi. Yes, daddy? Yes. What do you need?

00:49:42:15 - 00:50:02:12

Dr Tiffany

It's that milky feeling. But. Yeah. So for our check ins, we used to schedule them. When we first got together. We had a check in usually each evening, and it was especially when I was working at, the corporate job and everything, and it was more of a decompression for me, because that corporate job, fucking man, it it killed me.

00:50:02:12 - 00:50:24:07

Dr Tiffany

It pushed me into the ground, trying to run that many departments and that many people. And, you know, I had over 1500 different franchisees that I had to deal with on a regular basis just to get them up and going on on their new platform that I had built. And it's like, all on me, if it falls apart, dealing with AWS on a regular basis was enough to make me want to kill myself.

00:50:24:07 - 00:50:25:09

Dr TIffany

Yeah, for sure.

00:50:25:11 - 00:50:26:15

Luna

For sure.

00:50:26:17 - 00:50:44:02

Dr Tiffany

So, having those check ins each night of, you know, what do you need? How can I help? And all that stuff was really, really good. And then vice versa because he's an attorney. So it's what how was your day? You know, tell me everything. That's going on with you. And we would try to do like some body massage.

00:50:44:02 - 00:51:06:06

Dr Tiffany

And I'm a big believer and really massage using like energies, a Reiki type stuff and a lot of balancing the chakras and things. I grew up with a hippie mom, so there you go. But we would try to use as much of our energy that we had left during the day to sort of give to one another, because that sort of helped to fuel it back up.

00:51:06:07 - 00:51:31:06

Dr Tiffany

And as we yeah, things just kind of shifted. Now we've been together for, you know, seven years almost. It's very sporadic, like we we know each other well enough that, hey, I can see that you're having a rough day. Let's, you know, go take five and let's go talk about it and it gives it. We just had a check in yesterday morning, and it was so good for us because we built it out.

00:51:31:06 - 00:51:47:12

Dr Tiffany

Like we will sometimes scream at each other like, you know, this is how I feel right now. And sometimes it isn't even about the job. It's just like, man, I feel like we aren't we don't have enough time together. And I want to do this with you and I want to do doesn't it fucking sucks that we have to do all these other things?

00:51:47:13 - 00:51:51:23

Dr Tiffany

Just getting that out with somebody. Yeah. God, it's like it's scream therapy.

00:51:52:02 - 00:51:52:21

Dr TIffany

Yeah.

00:51:52:23 - 00:52:08:21

Luna

Yeah, that is so cathartic. I'm so happy that you have that. I mean, also, okay, talking about cathartic things, will you tell us details about spanking and what you love and your spanking style? And is it hands on. Is it implements, is it over the knee? Like, tell us everything you love about spanking.

00:52:08:21 - 00:52:26:14

Dr Tiffany

Oh my gosh. So it's a funny one of the things I just recently did was I got just for shits and giggles and for myself, because I thought it would be really funny to do this. I grabbed all of my toys and all of my all the Bdsm gear, and I laid everything out. It covered the entire living, entire bedroom floor.

00:52:26:16 - 00:52:42:18

Dr Tiffany

And you know, between all the spanking racks and the Saint Andrew's cross and like all these things that we have and I posted it on an ex and I was like, so I'm going to give you all one shot here. If you had one thing that you would want to see me use, which would it be? And that became.

00:52:42:18 - 00:52:47:04

Dr TIffany

Like, oh, so good. That's so good, I know. Yeah. Okay.

00:52:47:06 - 00:53:05:09

Dr Tiffany

But for spanking, I love a waterfall flogger. Like a leather flogger with the soft, like, suede leather on it. It it hits just right. It's not too much of a bite. It's not thirsty. And following it up with just a nice, cool hand. Like if his hand is nice and chilled. It feels so good.

00:53:05:11 - 00:53:10:06

Dr TIffany

Oh wait, I've never been sprayed with a chill. The hand. I have to add that to my bucket list.

00:53:10:06 - 00:53:18:15

Dr Tiffany

It it's it's definitely it's it's an experience because you get that wonderful sting, but you also get like the coolness and it's just,

00:53:18:17 - 00:53:19:03

Dr TIffany

Just heat.

00:53:19:03 - 00:53:24:20

Luna

It's just make it cold in cold water, ice water or metal or is it just like starting out fresh?

00:53:24:22 - 00:53:42:09

Dr Tiffany

A lot of times it's starting out fresh, but he'll have, like, ice cubes and stuff and he'll, like, cool his hand real fast. And it's just the best. It's like the skin on skin. So you get like that energy from that. But it's a beautiful, like dynamic between the heat and the cold. I just I cannot get enough of his hands.

00:53:42:09 - 00:53:45:11

Dr Tiffany

I'm a big hand person here. You do like me too.

00:53:45:12 - 00:53:48:03

Dr TIffany

Me too. We just had a Reddit.

00:53:48:05 - 00:53:55:00

Dr Tiffany

Reddit has a manson's subreddit. And I'm, I was, I've been on it for days and I was like.

00:53:55:02 - 00:53:55:23

Dr TIffany

Have.

00:53:56:01 - 00:54:00:04

Dr Tiffany

They. There's all these hands and it looks so good.

00:54:00:06 - 00:54:00:18

Dr TIffany

Wait was.

00:54:00:18 - 00:54:19:18

Luna

Anyone's hands. Because I am like if I noticed this hand just man hands. Because for me if I, if a I'm at my hand pansexual I'm like if this hand is about maybe, maybe I'm hand demi sexual. Like if it's about to immediately touch me, especially if I've inspected it for cuts. Depending on where it's going, I'm like, I'm into this hand.

00:54:19:18 - 00:54:23:08

Luna

Okay, so you like looking. It's with man hands. It. What is it that you guys.

00:54:23:08 - 00:54:23:23

Dr TIffany

That.

00:54:24:01 - 00:54:33:00

Dr Tiffany

Would be masculine hands. It doesn't necessarily have to be on a man, but I really love, like, masculine strong hands. It's a I don't know why. It's like.

00:54:33:00 - 00:54:37:14

Luna

Like, do you mean like big knuckles and thick fingers or. Like what? What do you get attracted?

00:54:37:14 - 00:55:00:17

Dr Tiffany

I love the, the hands that are like number one definitely like clean for sure. But I like the, the look of, like, rough hands that are they just look powerful. They look strong. They have I like the veins of course. Like who doesn't love a little bit of an action on on the hands and the arms? Forearms. It's like I think it touches that part of my brain where I'm like, that's like a cock.

00:55:00:20 - 00:55:02:23

Dr TIffany

That's like a really good cock.

00:55:03:01 - 00:55:04:06

Dr Tiffany

Like, so I don't.

00:55:04:08 - 00:55:10:05

Dr TIffany

It's weird, but. I'm a weird human, I know I love, I'm.

00:55:10:05 - 00:55:29:20

Luna

I'm also like, no, very thoughtfully thinking, like I've been attracted to feminine hands because I'm like, I think that could fit me now. Whereas with like, man hands, I'm like, I'm fisting. Curious. I have only received a fist once. It was a smaller hand. But yeah, it was,

00:55:29:22 - 00:55:32:01

Dr TIffany

So I like them all.

00:55:32:03 - 00:55:38:06

Luna

Are there any other that does the hand turn you on wherever it goes, or is it, like, genital socket? Like, massage it?

00:55:38:06 - 00:55:38:21

Dr TIffany

Like I say, I.

00:55:38:21 - 00:56:01:05

Dr Tiffany

I do love me a hand necklace. I love a hand necklace. Those are fabulous. And I think a lot of it is just having the hands on me, and I. I never really was that type of person, especially growing up where there was a lot of touching, a lot of feely. It was always just, like, in the same room with somebody that you cared about.

00:56:01:06 - 00:56:19:19

Dr Tiffany

And I think the hands for me, really, I enjoy the idea of just having them on me and having them, whether it's just a gentle touch or something. But skin on skin is very huge and the hands are always, always exposed. So it's something it's a it's a small part of the skin that you always have, like in contact.

00:56:19:19 - 00:56:22:21

Dr Tiffany

And it's like perfectly publicly acceptable.

00:56:22:23 - 00:56:42:21

Luna

I love that so much. So I would imagine, situation in which you could have double sets of masculine hands, for example, an Ms. three way. It would be extra exciting to you. Or is it like, is that the point where you get more turned on by cocks, like, tell us. I've never had an Ms. and I want to and tell me everything.

00:56:42:23 - 00:57:03:12

Dr Tiffany

Oh man. We've had a few. It's my favorite. We've that we've had like a, three way with a friend of ours, another female. And she, I love, loved her and all the things. But she was definitely very dominant. And when you have like two, two Doms at the same time that are very much like in competition with each other, it didn't quite go as well as.

00:57:03:12 - 00:57:05:00

Dr TIffany

We had hoped it would.

00:57:05:00 - 00:57:25:15

Dr Tiffany

Have. But some of the other like the guys, it's almost like I'm going to say this and I mean this in the best possible way. It's very romantic because it's like these two guys that are like just rows and they're friends and they're having a great time and they're figuring out different ways to play with me and to make me scream.

00:57:25:15 - 00:57:37:20

Dr Tiffany

And it becomes like a competition between them to see how hard that they can get me to come. And that is like, it's a lot of fun. Like, we just have really great friends.

00:57:37:22 - 00:57:39:03

Dr TIffany

00:57:39:05 - 00:57:50:10

Luna

That is amazing. Do you have favorite configurations or have you gotten to kind of enjoy everything? Like what are some and is this does this happen on camera? Is all your on camera stuff like solo? More like what.

00:57:50:10 - 00:58:06:18

Dr Tiffany

All the on camera stuff for us is just like me and my partner. Okay, so when we when we have like an EMF or an, you know, any type of a three way or grip group action situation, it's that's very much like no cameras. This is just us. This is us having a great time as having friend time.

00:58:06:18 - 00:58:16:00

Dr Tiffany

And, you know, having friends with benefits is great. And, yeah. So my my personal favorite configuration is giving a blowjob while I'm getting fucked from behind.

00:58:16:01 - 00:58:18:04

Dr TIffany

I want that so bad. Congratulations.

00:58:18:04 - 00:58:34:21

Dr Tiffany

It is the epitome. And it's like especially if I, if I work really, really hard, I can get them to both come in unison. And it's just even if I personally don't come, that is like the most like, okay, I'm drinking, I can feel it. It's like all the fluid everywhere. It's just.

00:58:34:21 - 00:58:35:09

Dr TIffany

00:58:35:11 - 00:58:37:05

Dr Tiffany

It's delicious. It's delicious.

00:58:37:06 - 00:58:38:12

Dr TIffany

That is so delicious.

00:58:38:12 - 00:58:45:07

Luna

I have dreams of that. And now I know that they're possible. And it's just a matter of allowing it to fall into place.

00:58:45:09 - 00:58:47:06

Dr TIffany

Wow. Okay.

00:58:47:08 - 00:58:52:10

Luna

That's so cute. Are you a are you an anal person? Do you like double penetration or anything like that? Oh, I guess I could be double.

00:58:52:10 - 00:59:10:10

Dr Tiffany

Bad trying so hard. It's one of those one of those things. It's only happened a few times in my life. And I get gifted, from different, like, sex toy companies all the time. Anal plugs and I'm like, oh my God, I really want to do this so bad. And I have such a it's very much it's a mental thing.

00:59:10:10 - 00:59:31:12

Dr Tiffany

It's entirely like a mental thing about being so full. And it's like I almost feel too full when I have the double penetration. Like it's almost like to my brain can't shut off long enough to truly enjoy it. But we are trying and it's been the most highly requested thing on my OnlyFans is for anal play.

00:59:31:14 - 00:59:31:23

Dr TIffany

And I.

00:59:31:23 - 00:59:35:11

Dr Tiffany

Have not. I haven't done it yet. It's coming literally. Guys, I.

00:59:35:11 - 00:59:36:17

Dr TIffany

Think this is where it's coming.

00:59:36:21 - 00:59:55:13

Luna

I'm like, in that case, I should advertise myself as a bad slut more. Most of my masturbation meditation sensation explorations eventually include my butt. I'm a bit of a butt slut, but it but it and and it took me nine months of like trying and being uncomfortable with a former dominant partner who like that was one thing like we really.

00:59:55:13 - 01:00:17:01

Luna

I loved giving him all of my holes every session or like he would take them, you know? And so even though there were days where I was like, wah! And I would have to bop out a little bit earlier than I felt really proud of, he would still, like, reassure me and tell me you did such a good job and we would just find my edge, you know, every so often until I got really comfy and, and then I had asked chasms.

01:00:17:01 - 01:00:17:19

Luna

And now I'm about to.

01:00:17:19 - 01:00:19:03

Dr TIffany

Like.

01:00:19:05 - 01:00:21:17

Dr Tiffany

I love that I'm working towards it. I want I want that.

01:00:21:17 - 01:00:39:16

Luna

Experience one step at a time. Yeah, yeah, it was definitely mental for me a lot. And even now I haven't had anal in a couple of years because I am very picky about who I will engage with. Like they really have to be into it. Educated. You know, I don't really like to teach if I have to teach them how to do my.

01:00:39:16 - 01:00:43:11

Luna

But yeah, there have been exceptions. But like in general.

01:00:43:13 - 01:00:57:23

Dr Tiffany

And I'm still working at like my partner's the same way my partner enjoys anal as well. So it's definitely like we're just we're exploring we're exploring it so much together. And it's actually a really, really fun thing. Like, you have to laugh, you have to play. Right? Like, that's the.

01:00:57:23 - 01:00:58:17

Dr TIffany

That's the fun of it.

01:00:58:21 - 01:01:04:01

Luna

That's so sweet. Okay, so our threesomes, the monogamy, monogamous part of your relationship or the other ish part.

01:01:04:01 - 01:01:19:22

Dr Tiffany

Yeah, that's the monogamous part. Like, where has I. I'm sure if I went to him, I was like, hey, babe, like, I want to be, you know, totally open or I want to, you know, have like a totally separate, like, relationship or something like that. We've talked about the idea of like, how would you feel about that sort of thing?

01:01:19:22 - 01:01:40:11

Dr Tiffany

And he's like, you know, as long as I know you're coming home to me, I really don't care. But at the same time, like, my brain can't fathom having another full time relationship to deal with. So we're just like that. We're just we we go and we have fun and we have our friends with benefits. And it's like a very specific group of people that we can call upon should the mood strikes.

01:01:40:13 - 01:01:50:04

Dr Tiffany

And I like that aspect of it, of just if we're hanging out and something just happens to happen that's so much fun. Like it's just spontaneous.

01:01:50:09 - 01:02:13:12

Luna

I love it. I always prefer openness because I want to leave room for spontaneity. You know, whether I'm on set with someone or in a just a circumstance that I get so curious. I want to follow the thread. You know, that's I love leaving room for, exciting, wildly, delightfully surprising, satisfying experiences. I would love to hear a little bit about what you enjoy about play parties and or dungeons.

01:02:13:12 - 01:02:21:02

Luna

You know, you mentioned that you've had dungeon play. You mentioned being an exhibitionist like, what are some things that you've experienced and loved?

01:02:21:04 - 01:02:39:10

Dr Tiffany

Oh, man. So there's one specific experience that I will remember for the rest of my life, and I hope she does too. We had gone to a play party and it was there at this particular play party. They had like a dungeon in the back room. So if there's a dungeon that is 100% where I am, I am completely out of the action.

01:02:39:10 - 01:03:01:22

Dr Tiffany

I am in that dungeon, I am bent over something and there's either I'm either getting fucked or flogged one or the other. And this, this couple had come into the room and, they were she was getting tied up to a rack, and he had brought his, like, bag of toys and everything, and there was never a single word uttered between the four of us in this room.

01:03:01:22 - 01:03:36:00

Dr Tiffany

It was entirely like eye contact and just knowing that we were watching each other and that we were having this very intimate like experience together as one. But separately, it was very it was very magical. So she's getting getting tied up and he's got his toys and he pulls out a magic wand and he proceeds to to edge her and he's edging her for, for a good while and he's, you know, shirtless and just in a pair of jeans and, like, doing the whole thing with her and my partner.

01:03:36:02 - 01:03:55:21

Dr Tiffany

We had just gotten done, with the flogging session. So I was laying over his lap and he and on this couch, and he was fingering me, and he was like, getting me, you know, really hot and bothered and everything. And the woman and I locked eyes and she is just in this. You can see the climb like you see it.

01:03:55:21 - 01:04:19:07

Dr Tiffany

She's building up. She's she's so close. She's right there. And she ends up like just starting to squirt everywhere. And, and as she's squirting, I'm coming. And so we just had like this between it was mainly between her and I. But our partners were like working on us. So having that experience that we're get off and then we're getting up and we're getting cleaned up and everything.

01:04:19:09 - 01:04:40:21

Dr Tiffany

And the other dominant looks at my husband and just kind of nods, you know, like in that very like I see you kind of way. And then her, her and I look at each other and we just kind of do our nod. And that was it. That was the that was the whole experience. And it was just really intimate in the best way.

01:04:40:23 - 01:04:47:15

Luna

That is so beautiful. And like, what a next level experience of parallel play.

01:04:47:17 - 01:04:50:10

Dr TIffany

Like, oh, okay.

01:04:50:11 - 01:05:09:18

Dr Tiffany

Those are the ones that I enjoy the most. Is is being there, being witness and being witnessed at the same time. It's very reciprocal and just that energy system that fills that room is incredible. And I mean, no one else was in there. It was just the four of us, and it just felt like it was meant to be.

01:05:09:20 - 01:05:33:02

Luna

I love that so much, and I would love to take this moment, since we're talking about group play and play parties to discuss health and safety boundaries. So it sounds like you and your partner are fluid bonded, but you can kind of fill in. What do you need with your partner to stay safe? And then when you play with other people and or especially do you play at play parties, like tell us kind of like practices for comfort?

01:05:33:04 - 01:05:51:10

Dr Tiffany

Oh, definitely. So for us we are definitely fluid or fluid connected like that is a huge thing for us. And like on a totally separate sort of like, you know, this is like the non sexy version of all of this. My, my brother actually passed away a few years ago from HIV, and he was like late stage.

01:05:51:10 - 01:06:11:11

Dr Tiffany

And it just one day he was seemed fine. And the next day he, he was pretty much gone. And it turned out that he had late stage HIV. So for, for me like learning about that. And I was like, oh, we're we need I don't ever want a situation like that. So health and safety for me is huge.

01:06:11:13 - 01:06:29:18

Dr Tiffany

Condoms are always used if we are going to go and play with another, like with our friends or something like that. Even though we fully trust our friends, you never trust them too much, you know, like, okay, not not going to go and step over that van. So, we always talk about like, hey, when's the last time that you got tested?

01:06:29:18 - 01:06:47:07

Dr Tiffany

When's the last time that, you know, if you if you had any situations, you know, what was it like? And all that kind of stuff. So we've gone so far as to ask for, like recent records of, like, hey, if you got tested recently, do you mind if I just kind of, you know, I don't need to see all the details and everything like that.

01:06:47:07 - 01:07:05:21

Dr Tiffany

I just want to know that I actually happened. And it's an interesting thing, especially when I was talking with another couple friends of ours who are swingers in the community, and they go to a lot more. Some swinger parties, especially on the East Coast. And they were like, you, you actually like talk about this kind of stuff, like a lot of swinger parties don't.

01:07:05:23 - 01:07:27:18

Dr Tiffany

Yeah. And I'm like, what? It feels like that's like the number one place you should like is, yeah, it's at a swinger party. Like, are you kidding me? Like, and with Diaz and stuff, it's very much like one of the very first things that you bring up is consent, safety and safe and consensual. You know, that's a huge, huge thing, knowing that so many people don't talk about that.

01:07:27:18 - 01:07:48:03

Dr Tiffany

And if I feel like the person thinks I'm weird for bringing it up, that's usually my red flag. That okay, you're I'll be friends with you. I will play next to you. I will be your cheerleader. There is not going to be anything else going on. So it's definitely, I wish more people would talk about it. And it sucks that it's such.

01:07:48:03 - 01:07:51:16

Dr Tiffany

It's almost more taboo than group sex.

01:07:51:18 - 01:07:53:14

Dr TIffany

Like, certainly.

01:07:53:16 - 01:08:22:17

Luna

I definitely do find that in non kinky spaces, I feel incredibly spoiled because my pattern went kink to kind of like more professional settings. And I just feel like do ask, do tell is the new norm that I wish that we all did. You know, and what I love about places where sex is part of the job, you know, for example, at brothels we do like an actual like gloved genital inspection with alcohol wipes to just look for openings.

01:08:22:17 - 01:08:42:05

Luna

And I'm like, can we break that to play parties? Because, you know, the number one reason that I have been to play parties and barely played there is because I was not able to get my needs for safety, met with the available people, you know, and then also my system is overstimulated by noise, especially the more turned on I get, you know, and I need a lot of communication.

01:08:42:05 - 01:08:56:23

Luna

And when it's loud, I can't really do that. So could you give us it sounds like you're pretty experienced. Could you give us a little bit of your kind of personal guide or overview, short form of how how you kind of operate at play parties and or in group sex environments?

01:08:57:01 - 01:09:14:07

Dr Tiffany

Definitely. So in terms of like the group sex environments that we've been a part of, we have always gone and just witnessed, we have never actually, like jumped into the middle of it or anything like that. We there's a club in LA that is pretty well known for the most part, but they do have a like a group orgy room.

01:09:14:09 - 01:09:37:05

Dr Tiffany

And my partner and I have when we frequented, we'd go and we'd watch and it'd be like other little rooms, like with windows and things like that. And it which was really fun. So we would go in there and do our thing while watching all the other action and whatnot. And one thing I will say is that a lot of these places that we've frequented, we've never had an incident where somebody like overstepped a boundary.

01:09:37:07 - 01:09:55:09

Dr Tiffany

It's always been like you ask before you touch kind of thing, like, May I touch? And if you get a no, then you just continue on and wait, you know, hey, thanks. You know, have a good time and that kind of thing. So for us, it's always, anybody who even wants to think about playing with us, you ask me Don first, and if he gives you the no.

01:09:55:09 - 01:10:12:15

Dr Tiffany

Then it's a it's a hard no. And I always communicate with him that, hey, this is what I'm feeling tonight. This is when I'm not feeling like I really just want to come and just watch and see what's going on. And for the most part, if we go to a play party, I'm looking more for females to play with because I really feel just more comfortable with another female.

01:10:12:17 - 01:10:31:18

Dr Tiffany

But we don't usually play with men at play parties. It's always been like our guy friends that we're close with. Just I think it's a safety thing and just a comfort thing especially. But, yeah, so that's usually how we operate. We discuss before we walk in. What are we cool with? What are we not? What are we looking for tonight?

01:10:31:19 - 01:10:51:21

Dr Tiffany

And keep in constant communication. We know that condoms are always, always, always, always used. And if they aren't, then they not not happening. Not even thinking about it. There is definitely no like if I'm going to go down on somebody, I don't. I don't drink anybody else's cum, I just drink my partner's cum. Unless we're with our friends.

01:10:51:23 - 01:11:14:04

Dr Tiffany

So it's yeah, I think we do a pretty good job in terms of keeping that communication level there. But I cannot stress enough to people that everything from bacterial vaginosis happens. Herpes are for life. All the things get checked, get tested, know what you are comfortable with, the risk value of. You know some things are fixable and treatable with medication.

01:11:14:06 - 01:11:24:14

Dr Tiffany

A lot of them aren't. Are you willing to risk that? So just be. Be careful and be upfront and honest about what you're okay with. And don't feel ashamed for saying no.

01:11:24:16 - 01:11:37:05

Luna

Yes, absolutely. And I too. I'll just say it. I'm a big fan of condoms on blowjobs for anyone that I'm not fluid minded with because, you know, things can happen in throats.

01:11:37:07 - 01:11:38:06

Dr Tiffany

So exactly.

01:11:38:09 - 01:11:55:08

Luna

Could you also walk us through what those conversations with your guy friends have been like? Because I have just this week gotten a couple questions from different people who, like, want to approach friends, not people they've met on dating apps about that. And they were like, how do I do it? And I was like, well, here's some ideas.

01:11:55:08 - 01:12:00:08

Luna

But what has worked well for you guys since it sounds like you've walked that exact path.

01:12:00:10 - 01:12:21:01

Dr Tiffany

It's so funny. It it happened so spontaneously, like with the couple that we've, we've been with. It's we had gotten to know them. They were friends that we had like initially had just met at a local like, frequented bar that we go to. And, they were friends of, like, other friends of ours. So we all just happened to be kicking around talking.

01:12:21:03 - 01:12:41:12

Dr Tiffany

And I started discussing, you know, because it's the usual questions like, what do you do for a living? You know, all that kind of stuff. And I never quite know what to say to a person when they first meet me. Usually I say, well, I, I'm, I work as a sexologist and based on that alone, I will know instantly whether or not we're going to have a friendship.

01:12:41:12 - 01:12:57:07

Dr Tiffany

And they had perked up and they were like, wait, what? Tell me more. So I started explaining it, and after, you know, a few more times of hanging out with them at the bar and stuff because they were very interested. And what does this mean? Do you teach people how to have sex? And I'm like, no, I teach people how to fucking talk to each other.

01:12:57:10 - 01:13:10:18

Dr Tiffany

That's exactly what my job is, is how to talk to them. And they they started going, you know, hey, so what else do you do? Like you, you have sort of a look to you, and it's not the first time I've been told that I have.

01:13:10:19 - 01:13:15:00

Dr TIffany

A look, look, look, look. Are you talking about, like.

01:13:15:00 - 01:13:24:16

Dr Tiffany

Well, you're just you're you just sort of have a look, like. Do you do anything online? I'm like, well, as a matter of fact, I do. And they're like.

01:13:24:18 - 01:13:25:07

Dr TIffany

Wow.

01:13:25:07 - 01:13:29:11

Dr Tiffany

So you're into like all of these things. And then the full conversation opens up about who I am.

01:13:29:11 - 01:13:30:11

Dr TIffany

What I do.

01:13:30:12 - 01:13:46:22

Dr Tiffany

And all that sort of thing. And then they of course, the next question is, Will do you are you open or do you play or are you swing? You're like, what's what is it all about? And that's when I usually look at my, my Dom and I'm like, okay, babe, this you're on deck, you're done. You get to talk about this one.

01:13:47:00 - 01:14:04:22

Dr Tiffany

And he'll be like, we have like a look that we do with each other and it'll it'll be just mentally we're thinking, are we going here or are we not going here? Like, is this someone you're interested in, or is this going to be what I need to, like, shoo away? And I was like, you know, hey, we're I'm open like this.

01:14:04:23 - 01:14:30:06

Dr Tiffany

Okay? So he starts talking and before I knew it, we we ended up going back to his place and we had a great time. I got railed, had some aftercare, all the fun things, for a couple of hours and then got dressed and the that was it for that evening. And every so often we get a phone call and they're back in town of like, hey, okay, we're hanging.

01:14:30:08 - 01:14:31:18

Dr Tiffany

Let's see where this girl was.

01:14:31:20 - 01:14:52:19

Luna

Oh, I love that so much. And totally relatable. Like when people ask me for advice, I'm like, well, my recipe is be very, very open about sex in almost any context where it's appropriate. You know, and I have had a lot of listeners say that listening to the podcast and telling other people what they heard on this podcast is a you know, what I had a dream about?

01:14:52:20 - 01:15:01:16

Luna

It's a good way to share kind of like fantasies or test openness. What what kind of reactions have you gotten that were negative? When you share that you're a sexologist?

01:15:01:18 - 01:15:21:02

Dr Tiffany

Oh man, it's not so much that they're negative, but like asinine comments that I've had, like I, I'd taken my dog to the vet, for fuck's sake, and some dude is sitting next to me and, you know, he's clearly trying to flirt and just has no game whatsoever. And he goes, you know, so what do you do? And I'm just like, I'm a sexologist.

01:15:21:04 - 01:15:22:03

Dr Tiffany

He goes.

01:15:22:05 - 01:15:23:03

Dr TIffany

Really?

01:15:23:05 - 01:15:27:08

Dr Tiffany

Oh my God, there's this chick. I've been wanting her to go down on me and he.

01:15:27:08 - 01:15:30:00

Dr TIffany

Starts loading his problems.

01:15:30:02 - 01:15:51:18

Dr Tiffany

Oh, and I was like, you know what? That's that sounds like something that you ought to talk with her about. Yeah, and I am not free. So if you want to have me give you some, like, actual advice and be like a therapist for you sort of thing, feel free to let me know. But if you are not looking for that, I am not here to give away my time for free.

01:15:51:20 - 01:16:08:17

Dr Tiffany

And he like instantly finally left me alone. But it's stuff like that where people just hear what I am and they either have some stupid comment about, oh, so you teach people have sex or you know why? Why is that something that you need to teach anybody? Isn't sex just like a natural thing?

01:16:08:18 - 01:16:17:20

Dr TIffany

No, dude, do you ask those people, oh, yeah, how is your sex life? Because that's exactly what I usually struggle with. But the. Yeah, the.

01:16:17:20 - 01:16:26:03

Dr Tiffany

Ones that just open up about all their problems and all the things, and how do I get her? It's always the dudes saying, how do I make her do something?

01:16:26:03 - 01:16:28:19

Dr TIffany

Yeah. You don't, do you do.

01:16:28:19 - 01:16:31:11

Dr Tiffany

You don't make her do a goddamn thing.

01:16:31:13 - 01:16:32:13

Dr TIffany

Yeah.

01:16:32:15 - 01:16:48:23

Luna

Dude, that happens to me too. And lately when I'm out in public and someone's, like, trying to pull one of those, I get my phone out. I say, you don't mind if I record, right? I do this on part like so we can share this. And when they're like, oh, then I'm like, oh, you could also like hire me for a private session, but oh, I thought we were doing the public free version.

01:16:49:01 - 01:16:50:13

Dr TIffany

Of My bad.

01:16:50:15 - 01:16:53:00

Dr Tiffany

I love that, I love that I gotta remember that. Just grab.

01:16:53:00 - 01:16:54:00

Dr TIffany

The phone just.

01:16:54:02 - 01:17:10:20

Luna

Like you don't mind if I record, because I just want to share. I'm totally happy to do, like, volunteer work if it's for the greater good in other people can learn from our exchange. Otherwise, that's my time is valuable. So I'm so glad that you're able to to to share that. What else do you enjoy as a submissive?

01:17:11:00 - 01:17:21:17

Luna

Like we talked about spanking. We've talked about sounds like a little bit of bondage. I heard Saint Andrew's like, what else in your submission is supportive of your creative being?

01:17:21:19 - 01:17:50:01

Dr Tiffany

Definitely rope play. My partner is a very gifted cabaret rigger and he is. Yeah, I absolutely enjoy the the mental break that rope play specifically gives me, because it's that I have to get into my own self. I have to, you know, get into full embodiment. I get to shut my brain down and I know, especially at the very beginning of of those types of scenes, my brain tends to just wander and it goes in 500 other directions.

01:17:50:03 - 01:18:16:22

Dr Tiffany

And he knows the second that I'm starting to sort of get out of it. And I love having him there to, hey, you're here, you're here. And that's like the constant, you're here, you're here. So it reminds me to be present in the moment. And it it does make me feel like when we come out of a scene, it's the most incredible, like, lifted light feeling, because everything else is like, oh, it's all still here.

01:18:16:22 - 01:18:36:18

Dr Tiffany

I didn't have to sit there for an hour and worry about this like it's all still there. Why was I so obsessed about thinking about 500 other things? It's totally fine. So, the rope play, especially. I love the feeling of being bound. It's one of the reasons why I don't know if you've seen any of my the outfits and stuff that I make, but they all include corsets.

01:18:36:20 - 01:18:37:12

Dr TIffany

Yeah, I.

01:18:37:14 - 01:19:00:04

Dr Tiffany

Know, I've gotten some serious shit about corsets are so, you know, demeaning to women and blah blah blah blah blah. No, I make them because I love constriction. I love the feeling of being bound. It's like a hug. It's just it feels so good. So, the rope play and everything like that is very much a part of that for me is the bound feeling and just feeling tight and close.

01:19:00:04 - 01:19:20:04

Dr Tiffany

And it's also beautiful. Like he he we did an entire photoshoot when, it's actually for our, our personal engagement pictures and it was a we had a professional come out and she did, a Shabani shoot with the two of us, of him going through every one of the ropes and, and ties and knots and things like that on me.

01:19:20:06 - 01:19:30:10

Dr Tiffany

And it came out looking absolutely incredible. And you see, there's one picture in particular where he's he's wrapping me and you see the intensity on his face, and you see the serenity on mine.

01:19:30:11 - 01:19:31:03

Dr TIffany

01:19:31:05 - 01:20:01:17

Dr Tiffany

And it's, it's such a delicious, like, yummy picture. So that's definitely one for me is, in terms of, you know, all the fun, kinky stuff. And then the other ones, I think, gosh, what else? Being submissive for me, a lot of the times is just the feeling of surrendering, of giving up my shit for a minute and and knowing that I'm giving it to somebody that is openly wanting it and capable of handling it.

01:20:01:19 - 01:20:28:10

Dr Tiffany

That's why he he has been the very first person I've ever submitted to in my existence. I never thought I would find somebody that was worthy of my submission. And he showed up. He he is honest. He communicates. He made me want to give that submission and I never thought I would ever want that. So that's, Yeah, I, I don't know if that answers the question necessarily, but, I gush a lot about him.

01:20:28:10 - 01:20:32:01

Dr Tiffany

He's he's a pretty special human being to me, for sure.

01:20:32:03 - 01:20:51:17

Luna

I love that so much. I know that the one like more formal power exchange relationship that I've had that last year was so hugely impactful on my life in ways that I will be grateful for forever. Even though I'm no longer in that connection, you know, totally open to. And I and I too had the feeling of like, this is the one and only.

01:20:51:17 - 01:21:01:07

Luna

And I also had no idea how powerful it could be. And I'm definitely open to joining you in the land of submission again in divine Timing.

01:21:01:09 - 01:21:01:20

Dr TIffany

Do you?

01:21:01:21 - 01:21:06:12

Dr Tiffany

I actually, I still enjoy a lot of the dominant play too. Like we have like we have such like.

01:21:06:14 - 01:21:07:23

Dr TIffany

Okay, we're going to do.

01:21:07:23 - 01:21:10:10

Luna

You still stay in touch with your dominant side?

01:21:10:12 - 01:21:30:13

Dr Tiffany

Yeah I do, I definitely do. I have my little bratty side that comes out I know. And again, that is it's more of like a cutesy brat. I don't go like, full brat like some, some other brats. Friends, specifically friends that I know. But I definitely have, like, a little bratty, like, I like to go poke the bear a little bit to see what he'll do.

01:21:30:15 - 01:21:49:09

Dr Tiffany

But when I get to do, like, my dumb, dumb experiences with him, it's especially if we just started doing this maybe a year or so ago. We've been together for so long and I've been, you know, 24/7. And he came to me is like, you know, I've never experienced your dumb side. I'm quite curious about this.

01:21:49:09 - 01:21:51:18

Dr Tiffany

And I was like, I don't know if I can with you.

01:21:51:23 - 01:21:52:11

Dr TIffany

Like.

01:21:52:13 - 01:22:10:11

Dr Tiffany

It's that like, oh, my God, I'm. I have to perform because I just don't feel like a damn to you. I feel like a submissive to you. And we we had a few drinks and, you know, we're in California, smoked a little bit herb. And I was like, all right, I. You want to see this? All right.

01:22:10:11 - 01:22:46:12

Dr Tiffany

I'm full force. We're we're going to go for it. And I put on my my leather boots. I got my self all dressed up. I had my my gold plated pasties like the whole bit grabbed my, my crop because crop for me is like my personal favorite thing to use on a, on a guy's crop and proceeded to walk him through a scene with me being the dominant and getting to lick him up and down and play with his all the things and, practice a little bit of anal play with him and told him that he he was mine.

01:22:46:12 - 01:22:58:13

Dr Tiffany

He is my good boy. He is everything. He's being so good and walked him through this whole scene. And, he was like, yeah, I kind of need that a little more horse.

01:22:58:15 - 01:22:59:10

Dr TIffany

Wow.

01:22:59:12 - 01:23:04:02

Dr Tiffany

So yeah. Now, now it's like a regular occurrence where we get to have a switch night.

01:23:04:04 - 01:23:24:07

Luna

I love that so much. And again my inspiration because I have never yet switched roles with a partner. I've only had connections with people where it's like we occupy one or the other space. And for a while I was like oh not possible, never possible. And then in the last couple years I was like, well, no, just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean, okay, I'll hold space for maybe someday.

01:23:24:09 - 01:23:33:11

Luna

So, ooh, that's how we help me. It's your only friends. It must be a little more vanilla, because I know that OnlyFans is a little more strict when it comes to the rules there.

01:23:33:11 - 01:23:43:03

Dr Tiffany

Yeah, so we've been I've been nicked a couple of times for having some kinky stuff up there. So it's, it seems like it that you hold a pencil the wrong way and the considered a weapon like it's.

01:23:43:03 - 01:23:44:18

Dr TIffany

Yes, the stupidest things.

01:23:44:18 - 01:23:54:09

Luna

I shared an erotic writing and I talked about the shit getting spanked out of me like there was just one sentence. And so that was violence and fecal play. And I was like, oh.

01:23:54:10 - 01:23:55:13

Dr TIffany

The deal of amazement.

01:23:55:14 - 01:23:59:17

Luna

Oh my God, it's a story. Okay, so yeah, I feel.

01:23:59:17 - 01:24:20:14

Dr Tiffany

You on it. And I've even been nicked for having like people messaged me like I have, way back in the, the land of the only times, I, I had a lot of watersports content and it was like, that's, that's a big, a big kink. And, yeah, you can't have any you can't even say watersports on OnlyFans.

01:24:20:16 - 01:24:41:07

Dr Tiffany

You can't fans, you cannot do it here on on the fans. So yeah, my, my OnlyFans is very much like it's toys. I have to be very, very specific about like, okay, this is a toy, especially the ones that look realistic and I do a lot of potty. So I'll have like the dildo sitting, you know, kind of like like all your listeners can see what I'm doing right now.

01:24:41:07 - 01:24:44:05

Dr TIffany

Like they're when they do, they can watch.

01:24:44:07 - 01:24:48:00

Dr Tiffany

And you position it in such a way where it looks like, you know, it's.

01:24:48:02 - 01:24:48:12

Dr TIffany

The.

01:24:48:12 - 01:25:08:16

Dr Tiffany

Camera's being held by the person getting this thing done to them. And I'll go through like a joy handjob, blowjob and, you know, make it like something really special, like it's happening to them. And I had I got nicked because they thought it was it was a human. So now I have to do like a disclaimer at the beginning of the videos to say this is a toy.

01:25:08:16 - 01:25:25:18

Dr Tiffany

Just a heads up, then go into the whole thing, which kind of loses a little bit of like the the magic of it. I feel like, yeah, but yeah, it's, it's a lot of stuff like that or it's my, my Dom and I, we, we play on there, but it's always it's sex, it's blowjobs. It's that sort of thing.

01:25:25:19 - 01:25:38:00

Dr Tiffany

Yeah. That's the only the cruddy thing about off, family is quite a bit kinder to all of the things. So any of our fetish content or kinky content, it all goes on fantasy, you know?

01:25:38:06 - 01:25:39:05

Dr TIffany

Okay, okay.

01:25:39:05 - 01:25:45:04

Luna

Good to know. Okay. So is it mostly play stuff for you on OnlyFans or do you do educational content there like I.

01:25:45:04 - 01:26:04:05

Dr Tiffany

Don't I used to have an educational one on OnlyFans, like a separate account that was education only. And back then you could only have two accounts and I had if I have a free account and I have a VIP account. So I had to take down my education page because you weren't allowed to have three. Now you're allowed to have three, apparently.

01:26:04:06 - 01:26:07:10

Dr Tiffany

Oh, I don't know why, but I got so pissed it was like.

01:26:07:12 - 01:26:09:05

Dr TIffany

You assholes like, yeah.

01:26:09:07 - 01:26:16:22

Dr Tiffany

Yeah, I'm trying to make you money. But it be it as it may. So all of my educational content now lives on Substack of all places.

01:26:16:22 - 01:26:18:04

Dr TIffany

Oh, cool.

01:26:18:06 - 01:26:23:04

Luna

Oh, wait. So, like, what kind of stuff do you have there? Is it mostly writings or do you have.

01:26:23:09 - 01:26:45:11

Dr Tiffany

It's video podcasts and stuff like that? Okay. So it's like you're allowed to talk about, especially in the educational realm. You can talk about anything and everything on Substack, and it's one of the things that I absolutely adore about them. There's a lot of really fun, sub stacks that are very specific to from dumb and to male submissives and things like that, and they share especially vintage images and things.

01:26:45:13 - 01:27:00:16

Dr Tiffany

I just posted not too long ago, a brief history of the collar and the like, basically from ancient times all the way up through today. So that I have living on Substack as well, any of that sort of content at all and all lives on Substack.

01:27:00:18 - 01:27:14:01

Luna

And then for people who are listening to this and are still like, well, okay, so as a sexologist, you help people talk about sex, give a few more details. So if someone is you curious, how do you love working with people in that capacity?

01:27:14:03 - 01:27:32:16

Dr Tiffany

I'm very grateful that the clients that I have right now are actually my favorite type of clients to have, and that's usually couples that are looking to get into consensual non-monogamy in some form or another. They've never been to a play party. They want to know, like what? What do I do? How do I do this? What if something comes up, how do we talk about that sort of thing?

01:27:32:18 - 01:27:52:18

Dr Tiffany

And navigating a lot of it is actually gut checking. Like, okay, if you're feeling like this, you're valid. It's okay to feel that way. It's okay to step back and take the time to analyze why you're feeling that way. So it's a lot of the internal struggles that people go through when it comes to the anxiety of going to a play party or opening up about a specific kink.

01:27:52:19 - 01:28:13:19

Dr Tiffany

Funnily enough, on Substack, I recently had somebody who was a longtime listener of my submissive Next Door podcast, and I had talked to him a while ago just about who he really enjoyed wearing women's clothes and lingerie and didn't know how to, like, bring that up to his his lady and things like that. And I kind of walked him through some of the ways to open up and, you know, make sure that she understands this isn't about her.

01:28:13:19 - 01:28:33:06

Dr Tiffany

This is about, you know, something that's a need for you and to be, you know, how to support yourself, support the relationship, and support her and her feelings because she may feel, you know, uncomfortable at first until she understands it. And that's where a lot of discomfort comes from for people is not understanding. It's the unknown. It's the unknown as scary as shit.

01:28:33:08 - 01:28:53:17

Dr Tiffany

So once you start educating yourself more, all of a sudden it's not such a scary thing, and you tend to find that you're a little bit more open with it. So this person had, messaged me way back in the day, talk to him, and he just messaged me last week on Substack and said, hey, I want you to know I'm going through, I'm going through my trans surgery here soon.

01:28:53:18 - 01:29:09:22

Dr Tiffany

And I wanted to thank you because you made me feel seen and valid as a human being. And I had no idea that all of that, all these feelings I'd been having for so long that this is where it would lead me. And I am the happiest I've ever been in my life. And I was like, wow, I screenshotted it.

01:29:09:22 - 01:29:40:16

Dr Tiffany

I saved that like to my phone because I was just like this. This, if nothing else in my life happens, having that one message from that one person, by far one of the it's better than having a degree. It's just it was the most beautiful message to get from somebody. So, yeah, that those are my favorite clients is the ones where I get to just listen, hold space for them and let them get out their fears, validate them and how they feel, and help them work through that inner work of like, okay, why are you feeling this way?

01:29:40:18 - 01:29:45:02

Dr Tiffany

And where is that coming from? Where is that stemming from, and how do we move through it?

01:29:45:04 - 01:29:53:09

Luna

Yeah, I love that so much. What is your favorite thing to teach people or help them with?

01:29:53:11 - 01:30:16:08

Dr Tiffany

Oh my gosh. I think my favorite thing to teach people, there's so many, there's so many. Consensual non-monogamy is definitely one of them talking about kinks, just teaching people how to accept themselves and accept their partners and accept that kink is everybody. I don't care who you are. There's very few people. I think vanilla, honestly, is the minority.

01:30:16:10 - 01:30:35:21