Sex Ed Reboot: Dr. Amber’s Update on Woo
- Luna Robbie
- Feb 5, 2024
- 41 min read
44 queer cis female, she/her pronouns, solo-polyamorous free agent, physician in a private practice.
🔗 DR AMBER LINKS | artemisluxurywellness.com / sex ed reboot
00:00:00:00 - 00:00:21:20
Luna
An update from a past guest who is here today to talk about her new projects. Focus on sexy adult education, my favorite sex ed reboot, and confidential consult. She is a 44 year old physician in private practice who helps clients cultivate honest conversations about healthy human sexuality, a solo polyamorous free agent, and a passionate advocate of maternal and child health.
00:00:22:01 - 00:00:37:07
Luna
Integrative approaches to wellness that support our whole lives, including our sex lives and consensual non-monogamy. She is also a writer, model, and sex positive educator. Originally from episode 224. Erotic audacity, wellness and Luxury. Welcome back, doctor Amber Hall.
00:00:37:07 - 00:00:41:00
Dr Amber
Thank you so much for your generous introduction and so nice to be here again.
00:00:41:00 - 00:00:53:06
Luna
I am so happy to be here with you in person. Can you start off by telling our sweet listeners, if you had to rate yourself today on a sexual shaming meter, where do you fall? If ten is the highest and one is the lowest and why?
00:00:53:08 - 00:00:56:11
Dr Amber
I can't, I can't remember what my first answer was. It doesn't.
00:00:56:11 - 00:01:03:18
Luna
Matter. It's just for anyone who's listening and we just check in. And because, you know, in sex, we constantly check in, right? Like, it's always an ongoing conversation.
00:01:03:21 - 00:01:20:16
Dr Amber
Absolutely. So I would say probably a 2 or 3, I've gotten much more comfortable in sort of being out, if you will, about being ethically non-monogamous, because I don't feel like that's anything that I necessarily need to hide in order to keep other people comfortable.
00:01:20:16 - 00:01:34:02
Luna
And in fact, it's a gift. And you've been getting asked to speak and teach more because of your willingness to be open, which we're going to hear about in a second. But first, yeah, give us an overview. What is sex and reboot? What is confidential counsel. Where do you want to start?
00:01:34:04 - 00:02:10:06
Dr Amber
I'll start with Artemis Luxury Wellness, which the whole concept behind that is facilitating conversations about mindful human sexuality and like how we approach other people and how we engage in relationships in a healthy way. So sex ed reboot, it's all of the things you never learned in sex education as a child. And so I've been having this conversation increasingly with people because in my family, we didn't talk about human sexuality, like my sister didn't even get an and I didn't even get a talk from our parents about periods and like, breast development.
00:02:10:06 - 00:02:36:17
Dr Amber
Like it just was something that was so shrouded in shame, which I think in my generation. I know I'm older than you like. It just wasn't talked about. We're not talking about it in school. Many families aren't talking about it or weren't at the time. And so now we have this generation of parents and grandparents who are raising children and trying to break the mold and are really doing things differently, and questioning the social prescription in ways that previously hadn't been done.
00:02:36:18 - 00:03:07:14
Dr Amber
And so sex Ed Reboot is talking about, you know, all of the sexually transmitted infections and prevention and vaccination and, you know, new medications that have really been shown to decrease the incidence of transmission of these infections. But also importantly, like, let's talk about hormones, let's talk about neurotransmitters, let's talk about the role of pharmaceuticals and how antidepressants can suppress not only libido, but can suppress orgasm because of their suppressive effect on serotonin.
00:03:07:14 - 00:03:36:01
Dr Amber
And so sex ed reboot goes into all of the science and medicine behind some of the very problematic sexual things that come up in the course of relationships. So sex a reboot was a live webinar that I did with another physician based in New York, Doctor Christine Booth. So we did have an a quote unquote live zoom audience at the time, but we recorded it and it's now up on YouTube.
00:03:36:01 - 00:03:43:09
Dr Amber
You can go to the YouTube channel for Artemis Luxury Wellness and View Sex Ed reboot in its entirety.
00:03:43:11 - 00:03:43:23
Luna
Amazing.
00:03:44:05 - 00:04:10:08
Dr Amber
Yeah, it's about an hour, and nobody left during the course of the live teaching session, which tells me that it was engaging enough that people actually stuck around. And the feedback that I've gotten on it has been overwhelmingly positive, both from the community and from other physicians who were either in attendance or watched it later, who many of whom were like, you taught me stuff that I didn't learn in medical school, or this is new data that I had no idea.
00:04:10:08 - 00:04:17:06
Dr Amber
And they're now advising patients like about Doxy, for example, where they weren't aware of it before.
00:04:17:08 - 00:04:21:12
Luna
All our listeners who aren't aware of it, because I was not aware of Doxy PAP until you told me about it.
00:04:21:15 - 00:04:46:10
Dr Amber
Right. So Doxy Cycles or Doxy Pep is a medication. Doxycycline is an antibiotic that's been around for decades. It's safe and effective for use in treatment from everything from Lyme's disease to just a host of other bacterial infections. Where it comes into play in terms of sexual wellness is that there was a study that was done out of UC San Francisco.
00:04:46:12 - 00:05:10:00
Dr Amber
I want to say it was in late 2020 or 2021. And what they did was they gave 200mg of doxycycline to the study population within 24 to 72 hours of unprotected sexual encounter. And that includes like condom with oral sex. Right. Because not very many people use barrier protection with oral sex.
00:05:10:02 - 00:05:14:11
Luna
They followed the study, could normalize it because it is pretty hot. Just say.
00:05:14:15 - 00:05:15:02
Dr Amber
Yes.
00:05:15:02 - 00:05:18:01
Luna
Always to play or fun. That safety is super fun. Okay.
00:05:18:03 - 00:05:44:20
Dr Amber
Right. Absolutely. And and this is one of the things that is important with Doxy. Because if you have an unprotected encounter of whatever nature, taking those 200mg of toxic cyclin was shown in the study population to decrease the transmission of gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis by like to a tune of like 50 to 80%. So you're 50 to 80% less likely to get gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, either orally, rectally, or vaginally.
00:05:44:20 - 00:05:55:00
Dr Amber
Well, I'll put a pin in that. But taking dogs to cycling after an unprotected encounter. Now, the caveat to this is that the study population was men who have sex with men.
00:05:55:02 - 00:05:55:11
Luna
Got it.
00:05:55:11 - 00:05:57:05
Dr Amber
So it's so, so efficacy.
00:05:57:05 - 00:05:59:01
Luna
In vagina owners is not.
00:05:59:01 - 00:06:10:04
Dr Amber
Is not yet proven. So there is not any conclusive data on its benefit in women, people who own vulvas and vaginas.
00:06:10:04 - 00:06:11:11
Luna
It was because of the study.
00:06:11:16 - 00:06:36:04
Dr Amber
There was one study that was done on cis women, and another part of the world where the data was not shown to be efficacious like it, it was not shown that it decreased the rate of transmission for women, but when they went back and analyze the data, the study population was not like adherent with the medication regimen. So they weren't like they weren't taking the pills and they were like.
00:06:36:04 - 00:06:37:04
Luna
Oh, we then study.
00:06:37:04 - 00:06:42:16
Dr Amber
Yeah, we didn't we didn't see a benefit. Well, yeah. It's because your study population wasn't following the instructions that.
00:06:42:16 - 00:06:43:20
Luna
Humans.
00:06:43:22 - 00:06:53:12
Dr Amber
That you laid out for them. And so right now there is no recommendation for its use in cis women simply because of a lack of data.
00:06:53:13 - 00:07:01:01
Luna
Okay. Good to know. Damn. Do we need to worry about. You said it's an antibiotic, correct?
00:07:01:04 - 00:07:01:14
Dr Amber
Right.
00:07:01:17 - 00:07:16:14
Luna
So for people who maybe don't like taking antibiotics, are concerned about the fact that like if maybe if you take more antibiotics, maybe we're creating some sort of like super gonorrhea, super chlamydia situation. Like how does that factor in.
00:07:16:14 - 00:07:34:09
Dr Amber
Right. So you're talking about antibiotic resistance. And there are a couple of different things with antibiotics. So the question is how is it going to affect my gut flora. Like am I going to be perpetually wiping out the gut microbiome, which also has effects on the nervous system and the endocrine system and the immunologic system. But there hasn't been data to suggest that.
00:07:34:09 - 00:08:01:19
Dr Amber
And it's if you're doing a one time dose of 200mg of doxycycline versus a 7 or 10 day course of subtraction, or is a throw in or even doxycycline, which can be used in treatment doses for ten days to treat STIs. If you're doing a one time dose for prevention, you're going to be less likely to contract an infection that's going to require an entire course of treatment.
00:08:01:19 - 00:08:11:01
Dr Amber
So the thinking is, is that you'll actually decrease antibiotic resistance because you're decreasing the rates of transmission, like from a global standpoint, okay.
00:08:11:03 - 00:08:35:01
Luna
And from a standpoint of someone who is concerned about health from a truly holistic perspective, we might prescribe conversations and testing ahead of time. If you're planning to play beer with someone, right, right. It's like rather than just my personal soapbox is like, rather than normalize taking pills, maybe we normalize clear communication and conversation and testing is there, right?
00:08:35:02 - 00:08:35:11
Luna
Because like.
00:08:35:11 - 00:08:38:11
Dr Amber
Right. And I touched on this in sex ed reboot to.
00:08:38:11 - 00:08:41:15
Luna
A watch or luxury wellness on YouTube.
00:08:41:17 - 00:09:23:11
Dr Amber
Absolutely. So there are a fair number of people who either don't have access to a primary care physician, don't have insurance, or are uncomfortable asking for that kind of testing because either they're in an open relationship or they're married and playing with special guest stars, or whatever reason that they're apprehensive about having these conversations with their doctors. There are commercial labs available, and you can go online and just request a comprehensive STI screening with places like Hello Wisp and Cleared and Talent testing like there are so many different commercial labs available for confidential screening and treatment.
00:09:23:11 - 00:09:52:02
Dr Amber
And yes, that's a very important conversation to have. I mean, we have, you know, the ubiquity of hookup apps and hookup culture is a thing. But from my standpoint, like, I don't want to shame anybody's sexual practices. Like, I'm a strong proponent of non-monogamy and having a healthy sex life, but part of that is taking responsibility for your health and disease prevention and having a grown up conversation with your partner.
00:09:52:02 - 00:10:12:10
Dr Amber
And if you have HSV, disclose because people have been sued for hundreds of thousands of dollars for transmitting herpes simplex virus without disclosing that they had an infection upfront. So yes, we need to normalize the conversation about this because, you know, part of consent is understanding what you're exposing yourself to. Yeah.
00:10:12:13 - 00:10:37:05
Luna
And here in Los Angeles, at least, the RF Foundation does free testing. So you can go there and get free, accessible care for anyone who needs it. And I know that there are places online that people can find local, accessible resources. And hopefully someday we can get like an accessible now. Hopefully someday. How fucking cool would be if this is just a noodle whim, but like, how cool would it be if to be on the hook up apps?
00:10:37:07 - 00:10:54:00
Luna
You had to have monthly testing and that were like just covered. If you are alive and an adult, you know, like that would I mean, and then we get into conversations about minors. Is there even STI testing available for minors? Yes. In in ways that are not shaming or like, do they have to have parent parental consent?
00:10:54:00 - 00:11:15:18
Dr Amber
No. Okay. Adolescents do not have to have parental consent for STI testing, pregnancy testing. Those things are 100% on the table. And we learn about that in medical school. If an adolescent comes to me and I tell my adolescent patients this, if you come to me and you say that you want a screening, I'm not going to ask you reasons why, I'm going to make sure you're okay.
00:11:15:20 - 00:11:33:12
Dr Amber
Right. Like just a check in. But adolescents don't have to have parental consent for that in the health district. Southern Nevada also does because I'm based in Las Vegas. Yeah. So the Health District of Southern Nevada does STI screening and prep and treatment as well.
00:11:33:13 - 00:11:44:22
Luna
Love that. Fucking love that. So tell us about confidential counsel. What is it? What are you doing? How can people engage. What do we have to look forward to? I might have a sneak peek.
00:11:45:00 - 00:12:27:20
Dr Amber
Yes. So I'm really excited about confidential consults. And as you said, as I've sort of had the courage to come out and say, like, I question monogamy as a social construct and it's not something that I buy into. It's not a social prescription that fits well for me, at least at this particular season in my life. And as I have gotten honest, both with myself and with other people about that, more and more people are coming to me and being like, hey, so, I am recently divorced or or, you know, we are reevaluating the terms of our monogamy agreements, and we think we might want to invite very special guest stars in or, you
00:12:27:20 - 00:12:46:21
Dr Amber
know, I'm just sort of out here in the wilds of the dating world, and, you know, how how do I go about finding someone else who's ethically non-monogamous? Because I don't want to coerce someone into dating me under the false pretenses. And, you know, I am increasingly having both single people and couples come to me and ask questions.
00:12:46:21 - 00:13:38:21
Dr Amber
And I'm like, you know, I feel like I am uniquely equipped to have these conversations with people because of my history in medicine. And, you know, as flawed as our healthcare system is and as flawed as medical education is, and as much as it falls short in these arenas, I have many years at this point of having very difficult conversations with people about, you know, everything from pregnancy complications to death to cancer diagnoses to treatment and testing of insert condition here to disabling illnesses like I, I'm able to have uncomfortable conversations in a way that's sensitive to the human being in there that goes beyond, you know, this is the science.
00:13:38:21 - 00:14:04:04
Dr Amber
This is a medicine. I can explain this stuff all day long, but consulting with someone over renegotiating the terms of their relationship or the sex life is a very sensitive topic. Yeah. And because I have all of this medical training, I feel like I can coach people through that, through a combination of my medical training and my personal experience.
00:14:04:04 - 00:14:24:02
Luna
There you go. Okay. So because in that list of all the things that you have experienced with, you actually didn't say any of the things that I and my brain was guessing about. So without revealing anything, you're not comfortable revealing. I mean, could you tell our listeners a little bit about what in your personal life makes you awesome at navigating these conversations?
00:14:24:02 - 00:14:50:10
Luna
Because, like, I do have personal knowledge, I'm gonna let you disclose your own information. But like, you're really good at thinking through a lot of these conversations. And I have been sitting here asking you, like, but how do you say this? But how do you say that? But how you have this conversation with this type of person. So like, could you maybe give a frame to our listeners to help understand why, specifically a confidential consultant might be helpful and who the people are who've approached you for this?
00:14:50:12 - 00:15:12:21
Dr Amber
So in my own personal experience, I've been into long term, sexually explicit monogamous relationships in my adult life, one of which, over the course of time became sexless and resentment built up and simmered as a result of that disconnect. And our physical intimacy, which I think is incredibly common, especially after the birth of a child.
00:15:12:23 - 00:15:24:07
Luna
I hear that resentment loop all the time, just I hear it from all the time. And then I'm like, oh, you want to talk to each other? And they're like, no, I just want it to be different. And I'm like, I don't know, help you, right? So talk to you.
00:15:24:07 - 00:15:46:03
Dr Amber
Yes. And I can put that sort of like dissolution of intimacy into the framework of, you know, what else is going on in your life? What other stressors are there, you know, how are your hormones tanking after the delivery of a baby? And how are your medical conditions? How are your medications, you know, impacting those things?
00:15:46:03 - 00:15:50:07
Luna
Are you sleeping? Are you exercising? What kind of food are you eating?
00:15:50:08 - 00:15:54:04
Dr Amber
How much are you drinking? Are you using recreational substances? When.
00:15:54:05 - 00:16:00:02
Luna
You smoke, do you smoke tobacco? Do you smoke weed? Are you trying to conceive and you're smoking weed? That's hard.
00:16:00:05 - 00:16:20:10
Dr Amber
Yes. So going back to my personal experience with this, I understand what it's like to lack physical intimacy within the context of a monogamous relationship. My last monogamous relationship ended in 20, like on the cusp of 2015, going into 2016, and it was at that point that I was like, you know what? I don't want this for myself.
00:16:20:11 - 00:16:46:10
Dr Amber
This is not like I don't want cohabitation. I don't want, you know, the majority of the domestic and emotional labor of this relationship to fall on me simply because I'm a woman, you know, which I think happens not uncommonly in heterosexual relationships, where the majority of the emotional and domestic labor falls on women, and that can affect our sexuality or our sexual desire, our libido.
00:16:46:12 - 00:16:47:12
Dr Amber
Yeah, yeah.
00:16:47:14 - 00:17:01:16
Luna
I hear from heteronormative couples that are really guys, like, I don't get it. Why don't you want to fuck me? And the woman is just like, I'm exhausted and I'm still trying to empty the dishwasher, and he's fondling me, and it's like, sir, have you ever thought about emptying the dishwasher and helping out and not being ordered to do so?
00:17:01:17 - 00:17:13:14
Dr Amber
Right, absolutely. But even, you know, shouldering some of the burden of domestic labor doesn't necessarily entitle you to access to your partner's body, like there's so much more to it than that.
00:17:13:14 - 00:17:24:00
Luna
So I'm hearing a lot of what you realize that you didn't want. And since then, I happen to know that you have a lot of information about your do want. So how did what was your process like for kind of like uncovering that.
00:17:24:02 - 00:17:50:03
Dr Amber
So for a long time during training I just like relationships weren't on my priority list. But over the course of the last two years, I was sort of introduced to ethical non-monogamy in a way that wasn't necessarily ethical in the way that it happened to me. Right? Like I was basically used as a pawn in someone else's sexual fantasies, and it was like he was pulling the strings and saying, I want you to do this, I want you.
00:17:50:03 - 00:17:56:04
Dr Amber
And I. And I went in and did those things consensually. But at the end of the day, the relationship was very controlling.
00:17:56:06 - 00:17:58:04
Luna
And certain type of growing experience.
00:17:58:04 - 00:18:25:14
Dr Amber
Right, exactly. And so I increasingly am having women coming to me and being like, hey, you know, my partner's interested in this type of fantasy. I'm interested in it. I'm engaging in this consensually. How do I go about this in a way that is, you know, sparking his erotic imagination in a way that's playful and fun for him, but that's also nourishing to me and protective of my autonomy, my mental health, my physical health.
00:18:25:14 - 00:18:40:20
Dr Amber
And I think that, you know, having had the experience of being brought into the lifestyle of non-monogamy, non ethically, I can lend a little bit of guidance for people who are just starting out.
00:18:40:22 - 00:19:03:07
Luna
And also you have a lot of experience with ethical non-monogamy. Like personally you're kind of skating around. Is that on purpose? Like I sure am I have no okay. Yeah. Because I'm like like you have so much actual knowledge and you have given us so far, like the backstory of the what didn't work for you. And I really see you as a valuable resource for, you know, wisdom and learnings for things that do work.
00:19:03:07 - 00:19:08:16
Luna
I would love if you could tell people about the phrase joy friend, which I learned from.
00:19:08:16 - 00:19:35:20
Dr Amber
Yes. Yeah. So as I've been exploring my own relationship dynamics and what works best for me, so I've done a lot of reading on polyamory. I've done a lot of reading on, you know, the swinger community and No strings attached sex and hookup culture and, you know, all of these different things and for me, solo polyamory fits because I'm not interested in intertwining my domestic life or finances with a romantic partner.
00:19:35:22 - 00:20:00:00
Dr Amber
And when I say free agent, I make decisions on my own about who I engage with and how and when and where and under what circumstances, and all of those things are subject to renegotiation. But if someone expresses some sort of romantic or sexual interest in me, that's always the first card that I play it like monogamy is not on the table.
00:20:00:02 - 00:20:07:22
Dr Amber
Yeah. And if you are interested in engaging with me, you have to understand that that is not going to change, at least not on.
00:20:07:22 - 00:20:30:20
Luna
The table, is if you want to engage with me, are you willing to actively co-create a unique relationship where we find our overlap that we can play in? Right. Because I like having a life where I live alone and take care of my own shit and don't you know and do. Although it is hard to talk and do sometimes, especially when I've had so many pokey don't experiences, right?
00:20:31:00 - 00:20:52:03
Dr Amber
So I, I don't like the term boyfriend or girlfriend, you know, it seems like a little pejorative to me, but like the people who are in my life are here not because we're meeting a certain sort of like relationship milestones and not because they're being coerced and not because they signed a contract that they would never leave. Right.
00:20:52:03 - 00:21:11:06
Dr Amber
Like the people who are in my life are here because they're contributing something positive. They make me a better version of myself, and I do likewise for them. And that's where the term joy friend comes from. It's like, you know, you have your playmates, you know, and your friends with benefits or whoever you know you're engaging with on that level.
00:21:11:06 - 00:21:37:17
Dr Amber
But like for me, a joy friend rises to the level of like, this is someone that I check in with intellectually and emotionally, and I check in and see how their day was and like how things are going with work and like if they have upcoming medical things and, you know, and I'm aware of the other person or people in their life and so their friends who bring joy to my life in a very special way.
00:21:37:17 - 00:21:50:09
Luna
I love that. I think that's so sweet. Okay, so if a listener out there was like, I want to joy friend, I want to talk to my partner, husband, wife, etc. about like maybe bringing in a what did you call it for a very.
00:21:50:09 - 00:21:51:05
Dr Amber
Special guest.
00:21:51:09 - 00:22:15:11
Luna
A very special guest star, a very special guest star, a very special guest star. Yeah. I love being just side note I love being a special guest star, a very special guest star. But also sometimes it overwhelming to be, to feel so special. And I also really love creating frameworks where other. I mean, this isn't about me, but like where I am, what would it what would a very okay, just help me noodle on this term and then I'll get back to my question.
00:22:15:13 - 00:22:31:05
Luna
If a very special guest star has the specific function of coming in to celebrate a relationship, but doesn't want to receive all of the attention, all the time because they are deeply a service submissive, what would we call that? That sounds really good.
00:22:31:06 - 00:22:34:09
Dr Amber
I still think a very special guest star sounds like.
00:22:34:09 - 00:22:56:09
Luna
Too much attention for someone who's got attention, but okay, I, I see your point. A quiet special guest star. I literally had an experience. Can I tell you about it? Absolutely. Please I yeah, I just I've talked about this a little bit, but like I it just keeps coming back to me because I'm like a giggling because like everything I wanted was coming true.
00:22:56:09 - 00:23:14:18
Luna
And I was like between these two lovers and it was so beautiful. And I was like, oh my God, it's so much, it's so much, it's so much. I'm like, I thought I was going to explode because it was receiving so much. And I will say update since then, since the first time I shared that, I have recently had another threesome and I was like, oh my God, this is my life.
00:23:14:18 - 00:23:35:21
Luna
This is so amazing. But but I had noticed how my receiving level had shifted or like, I don't know what circumstance it was kind of with sleep level, just go through that, okay? Okay. So returning to my question, someone is interested in getting a confidential consult in having some one on one help to figure out maybe even what their next steps are.
00:23:35:23 - 00:23:50:11
Luna
What are the first steps to working with you? What does it look like? Is that another kind of like co-create this working relationship as we go? Or what could I expect if I was like doctor Amber Hill, I need a confidential counsel. And you offered to singles as well as couples. That's a long question, but I think you got it.
00:23:50:16 - 00:24:03:00
Dr Amber
Yes. And I want to just put a pin in. Threesomes are one of the most common fantasies in the American psyche, so I want to normalize that. So it's like, you know, this is not something that's like terminally unique.
00:24:03:04 - 00:24:11:09
Luna
Not at all. In Doctor Justin Miller's book. And he has a little exhibit in the Museum of Sex in Vegas, which maybe just read the book.
00:24:11:11 - 00:24:12:06
Dr Amber
It's a very good book.
00:24:12:06 - 00:24:20:02
Luna
And I went to that museum and I'm saying maybe just read his book or listen to his podcast. You know, it's it's group sex. Yes. That's what I'm.
00:24:20:02 - 00:24:26:13
Dr Amber
Like. That's all the experiences. New places, new things, new people, new all of it.
00:24:26:13 - 00:24:32:04
Luna
Yeah. So okay. So so so people are interested in exploring what's the first step to getting a confidential counsel.
00:24:32:08 - 00:25:10:17
Dr Amber
So you can go to my website Artemis Luxury wellness.com. And you can sign up there or send an email requesting a confidential consult and book time essentially with me, whether it's one on one time or two on one time, I'll talk to couples, I'll talk to singles, I'll talk to queer folks and married folks. And wherever you're coming from, let's just have a conversation about what you're seeking and why, and envisioning how you're going to get there, and what steps you need to take in order to protect yourself.
00:25:10:17 - 00:25:41:04
Dr Amber
Be mindful of your partner or partners and what resources are available, because, again, as I've put myself out there and started having a lot of conversations and being invited to a lot of tables and events, I can make some recommendations on websites to start with, apps to start with, educational resources to start with health related, like how to find a doctor who's not going to give you a hard time about the questions that you're asking.
00:25:41:06 - 00:26:00:05
Dr Amber
But I need to know, like, where do you live? Are you cis? Are you straight? Are you married? Like, I need to do a little bit of information gathering before I can make a set of recommendations and point you in the right direction. Otherwise, it's like Alice in Wonderland and like, where? Where am I going? Well, which direction should I go?
00:26:00:05 - 00:26:02:12
Dr Amber
Well, where are you trying to get to? You know.
00:26:02:13 - 00:26:09:18
Luna
That's how I feel in my whole life. Okay, so people just email you to book time. Do you want that information ahead of time or is that what you talk about during the session.
00:26:09:18 - 00:26:22:20
Dr Amber
So people can just book a time slot with me. And I have been doing medical information gathering for over a decade now, so I can gather that information and facilitate the conversation from there.
00:26:22:22 - 00:26:39:19
Luna
Awesome. Okay, so what in your work and or personal life are you hoping to grow going forward? Like what are you excited about? What are you exploring? What other sexy things are on your horizon? And that could be anything you want speaking Artemis stuff, etc..
00:26:39:21 - 00:27:24:23
Dr Amber
So I am looking at starting a podcast and I really want to facilitate conversations between other medical people, scientists, other doctors, especially lady doctors who are interested in women's sexual health, people who are interested in integrative medicine, people who are who work with children. Because this is another conversation that I think as a pediatrician is so important, is how do we provide developmentally appropriate information to minors about their bodies, about how their bodies are going to be changing, about, you know, being respectful of other people's bodies and consent?
00:27:24:23 - 00:27:31:22
Dr Amber
And as we move into adolescence and access to pornography on cell phones, you know, many.
00:27:32:00 - 00:27:59:03
Luna
12 year olds crazy that it's so easy to access porn, but you can't access sex ed on TikTok. Like, I mean, you there's some of it, but it's spelled wrong. It's unclear. There's so many euphemisms like it's so I have trouble navigating it. But those are good questions. And anyone listening beyond Birds and Bees by Bonnie J. Ruff is my favorite book that sort of very thoughtfully explores, like, oh shit, how do I understand privacy?
00:27:59:03 - 00:28:10:03
Luna
How do I teach my kid about privacy while also not shaming them? How do I do something, especially when it's non-normative views and it's very much informed by her experience with the Netherlands. So.
00:28:10:05 - 00:28:31:14
Dr Amber
Right. Yeah, they do a great job of normalizing human sexuality. And it's just like, this is a normal part of life, and it's an important part of life and how we educate children and like, again, taking away that shame factor because like, I managed to give myself my first orgasm at six years old. But, you know, there was this culture of shame and there still is.
00:28:31:14 - 00:28:51:21
Dr Amber
Oh yeah, that how we educate children is going to affect how they interact with adults for the rest of their lives. So, like, how do we have these conversations in a way that's sensitive to their needs and again, like elicits feedback from them because kids are like, oh God, I don't want to hear about this from you right now, dad.
00:28:51:23 - 00:29:02:04
Dr Amber
You know, but if you make that accessible or if you're like me and authoritative, as much as I hate that word like a position of an educator or a coach in the lives of children.
00:29:02:04 - 00:29:02:19
Luna
A resource.
00:29:02:19 - 00:29:04:00
Dr Amber
Right, a resource, a.
00:29:04:00 - 00:29:05:01
Luna
Trusted resource, a.
00:29:05:01 - 00:29:05:12
Dr Amber
Much wider.
00:29:05:12 - 00:29:06:21
Luna
Sizer. Yeah. Advocate.
00:29:06:23 - 00:29:19:15
Dr Amber
Yeah. How do we equip kids to enforce their boundaries and negotiate what they want in a way that removes the shame later.
00:29:19:17 - 00:29:39:21
Luna
And to also sort of be flexible and loving towards ourselves in the times where we are experimenting and just learning, because I think some of the things that have come up in my conversations with people, or it's sort of this like idea of like, I should have known what I would want ahead of time. It's like, well, no, that's the process of wanting and exploring and trying.
00:29:39:21 - 00:29:46:09
Luna
And then you decide. And it doesn't mean you're bad for not liking something, for trying something that you thought you wanted, and then you found out something. And that's just the process, right?
00:29:46:13 - 00:29:49:18
Dr Amber
I did that with monogamy. Yeah, I tried it right. I didn't like it. It's not for me.
00:29:49:23 - 00:30:17:13
Luna
And I wonder how many other people have that exact same experience, but maybe don't have the social support or the resources or the community to whatever courage to go forth and be like, actually, this monogamy thing doesn't work for me. I want something different, you know, and I to have been coerced into monogamous relationships at a time where I wasn't able to be like, yeah, so, okay, if the only way for me to keep seeing you is monogamy.
00:30:17:15 - 00:30:29:16
Luna
But I had so much fun, you know, like, like when I was 24, I was like, okay, I'll try it, you know? And then I cheated on that person because I was so resentful. And it was a whole learning lesson. And here we are now, right?
00:30:29:21 - 00:30:44:03
Dr Amber
Infidelity is the leading cause of divorce worldwide. And there are so many people, again, like in my generation and older who were just like, it wasn't if you were going to get married, it was, why aren't you married by the time you're 30? Or when are you having kids? Okay, I.
00:30:44:03 - 00:31:02:05
Luna
Just went on a date with a very nice gentleman from the South, and he was talking about his past marriages, and I was like, why did you get married again? And he was like, oh, it wasn't even like a question. It was just what you did where I was from. And I think like, it is very normal where I'm from to get married.
00:31:02:05 - 00:31:18:06
Luna
And at young ages, however, I moved to Los Angeles, you know, it's only a few hours away, and I just didn't realize how strongly people are bound to cultural expectations and norms until I started having more conversations with people like, oh, I feel so I can be honest with you. Oh, I feel like not judged by you. Oh, I feel like permission to be myself around you.
00:31:18:06 - 00:31:38:14
Luna
And I'm like, hang on a second, you guys let me get this straight. All of you that I'm hearing from are feeling this way, and you still don't want to get different choice. And you're all asking me how to make a different choice. I think the answer is just make a different choice. But I also understand that there's something I don't understand about social norms and like constraints on society.
00:31:38:14 - 00:31:58:09
Luna
And even you have to deal with a piece of that, right. As a professional, my understanding of the reason that you're not more specific about the details of your personal life and the ways that I am, it's not because you don't enjoy sharing that part of yourself with trusted friends. It's more that like your license is at risk or something.
00:31:58:09 - 00:32:03:05
Luna
There's like some moral clauses being a doctor, etc. and like social stigma around it too.
00:32:03:06 - 00:32:24:20
Dr Amber
Well, it's it's not necessarily that the medical board is going to shut me down and like ask me about my history of three way play. It's more about like, you know, there are certain things that my patients may not want to know about me or that my patient clients families may not want to know about me. And so I'm still this is an it's an evolutionary thing.
00:32:24:20 - 00:32:48:14
Dr Amber
Like I'm talking much more freely about my experiences now than I was two years ago. Right. And that may continue to evolve. But, you know, everyone has a lens through which they view the world. And so I want to be protective and mindful of how other people view me. And so that's why I'm not really so much about laying my king cards on the table.
00:32:48:17 - 00:32:55:07
Dr Amber
Yeah. Because I do want to be mindful of like, people who are like, I wish I didn't know that about you.
00:32:55:09 - 00:33:15:15
Luna
But what do you think the world would be like if everyone who was basically just, like, held back by fear of some sort of professional repercussion, like, what if we lived in a world where people were like, no, no, I can handle what I'm going to pay attention to you about and not. And also I'm also going to know that, like, if you are a kinky motherfucker and I don't vibe with your kinks, we don't have to fuck.
00:33:15:15 - 00:33:22:08
Luna
And that's cool, you know? And we can still be regular people because I personally have run into zero issues.
00:33:22:08 - 00:33:23:03
Dr Amber
00:33:23:05 - 00:33:39:11
Luna
Again, I'm an artist. I've been a privileged space. It's not that I'm not getting censored on Spotify on those platforms, but that has nothing to do with me personally that I like. And and I imagine, you know, some internet trolls that are like fucking with our star ratings, you know, but there's no people out there, not a single person.
00:33:39:11 - 00:33:57:17
Luna
Even when I've told them the deepest depths of all of my explorations, yourself included, that have actually put judgment in my direction. And so and I know I'm again, I hear that I'm unique, but I'm also just like there's a lot of people out there that I wonder what would happen if we just had a revolution. What do you how do you think it would affect our lives?
00:33:57:20 - 00:34:01:02
Dr Amber
I think it would. A war would be much less ubiquitous.
00:34:01:02 - 00:34:02:07
Luna
If people were busy.
00:34:02:07 - 00:34:32:21
Dr Amber
Fucking right. Like, and this is something like it's a topic that crosses like political and social and economic. I didn't mean to be so political. The overwhelming majority of people, unless they are asexual, are interested in having their fantasies fulfilled and receiving pleasure and giving pleasure. And, you know, so talking about it in a way that like, normalizes that, like, yes, you can be a mother and a lover and in.
00:34:32:21 - 00:34:34:12
Luna
Fact, you must be a lover in order.
00:34:34:12 - 00:34:35:02
Dr Amber
In order to.
00:34:35:04 - 00:34:37:09
Luna
Make a mother. Hopefully there's love there.
00:34:37:09 - 00:34:37:19
Dr Amber
But there's.
00:34:38:00 - 00:34:38:19
Luna
Only there's pleasure.
00:34:38:19 - 00:34:50:10
Dr Amber
There. Yes, there's so much of the Madonna whore complex that's still, like, baked into our society that I have had women who are like, But I'm a mother, you know, I like and.
00:34:50:10 - 00:35:08:10
Luna
Also, lady, your kid's going to fuck someday. Unless they are ace like, you know, unless they make that choice for themselves consciously. And I also have talked to asexual people who still were like, you know, you got to give yourself space to figure it out. You got to try something. You don't have to. You don't have to. A lot of the new generation is not fun to.
00:35:08:12 - 00:35:14:16
Luna
However, I wonder if there are deeper reasons to it, you know, so in your perfect world, what would sex ed look like?
00:35:14:18 - 00:35:21:18
Dr Amber
So probably much like the Netherlands, although I haven't studied there, I wanted to sign up for, you know, just some.
00:35:21:20 - 00:35:33:18
Luna
Go to Lima. You should go to Lima again and go to the museum there because they have a sex ed museum. And I'm kind of obsessed with going to all the sex museums and learning about them. But that's the, like science, the education one that has shocked some American people who wrote about it.
00:35:33:18 - 00:35:35:19
Dr Amber
Yes, let's I'm signing to.
00:35:35:19 - 00:35:37:03
Luna
Do it, I guess.
00:35:37:05 - 00:36:02:11
Dr Amber
So I think that other countries are doing this much better than we are. And I think that a lot of that has to do with our sort of like puritanical, patriarchal foundation here, and that we would rather have a list of banned books than actually equip people to navigate some of the most emotionally and physically intense relationships in their lives.
00:36:02:15 - 00:36:30:23
Dr Amber
It's like, this is a conversation that makes us, as a society in the United States, very uncomfortable. And so I think that just normalizing it and talking with children honestly and without shame about how to keep their bodies safe and how to anticipate changes in their bodies and how to help them make other people feel safe in terms of consent.
00:36:30:23 - 00:36:32:16
Dr Amber
Yeah, that's what I would change about sex.
00:36:32:18 - 00:37:11:15
Luna
And imagine if those conversations were happening in a safe container where young people knew that they had trusted advisors, adults with experience to go to, even just having that relationship. I imagine would help people navigate the confusing moments. I don't have anyone to talk about sex with. When I was young, until I got a Swedish exchange student, she was just one year older than me and was very still tight lipped about certain things, but but would tell me information if I like, peppered with questions, you know, and I only wonder what my life would have been like if I'd had just more resources from people who were comfortable with my curiosity.
00:37:11:17 - 00:37:29:17
Dr Amber
Right. And going back to your question about adolescents accessing STI testing and like pregnancy testing and this type of thing, like I have conversations with my adolescent patients routinely and before they go off to college and like we talk about IUDs and like, we talk about how you can get gonorrhea and chlamydia in your throat. Yes, you can.
00:37:29:17 - 00:37:30:10
Dr Amber
And you're also.
00:37:30:10 - 00:37:43:07
Luna
HSV. Yes. The doctors all look at me like I'm crazy in there. And literally some of the women like, how how did you get it in there? And I was like, I'm special. I guess, you know. Yeah. Deep throat thing, I like it, I don't know, it was vigorous. Okay.
00:37:43:09 - 00:38:07:11
Dr Amber
Yeah. Like HSV esophagitis is definitely a thing. And there are adults who are like, I didn't know I could get gonorrhea and cloudy in my throat. I'm like, absolutely yes, I can. And like, what a huge the service that we're doing to public health but not teaching this. Yeah. And so I have this conversation regularly with adolescents. And I'll ask the parents straight up like I'll ask the kid and the parent, like, do you want Mom and dad to be here while we have this conversation?
00:38:07:11 - 00:38:22:02
Dr Amber
Because it's going to be a little scientific, but it may be a little uncomfortable and like, you know, if I'm working with a 15 year old and a parent, the question is like, do you want to be here? Do you want them there? And we have this conversation together, and I've had both adolescents and parents be like, wow, I didn't know that.
00:38:22:04 - 00:38:32:01
Luna
Yeah, yeah. I mean, literally I have been educating my doctors about like, no, it's not just immunocompromised people who can get HSV do in their throat.
00:38:32:04 - 00:38:32:19
Dr Amber
00:38:32:21 - 00:38:42:06
Luna
I'm a star. I'm extra special guest star. No it was it. Yeah. No I'll be I'll practice being extra special okay. While you're here can I ask you a doctor Amber question.
00:38:42:09 - 00:38:43:01
Dr Amber
Absolutely.
00:38:43:06 - 00:39:02:18
Luna
I was speaking with a lady recently who is a full service sex worker, and she was telling me how they don't do fluid exchange, right? And what she sometimes also will point out to her clients is, which I didn't know. And I'd love to hear what you know about this is, you know, so dudes are not vaccinated against HPV.
00:39:03:00 - 00:39:18:08
Luna
Not all pussy owners are vaccinated, especially if you're my age. You go check your health records, go check them. Go check all your vaccination records. Because I thought I was and I had to just check my records. There's risk for getting oral and anal cancers as well from HPV.
00:39:18:12 - 00:39:28:22
Dr Amber
Absolutely. So HPV is one of the most common in ubiquitous viruses that's spread from human to human. It's through skin to skin contact. You don't need fluid exchange.
00:39:28:22 - 00:39:33:01
Luna
It also causes planter warts. But it's different kinds and they're very location specific. Right?
00:39:33:01 - 00:40:04:23
Dr Amber
Right. So of the 150 or so strains of HPV, there are I want to say like 40 or 50 that can affect the genitals. Specifically, 16 and 18 are the most likely to cause cancers. And six and 11 are the most likely to cause warts. So not only is cervical cancer a risk, but HPV acquire through anal penetration, rectal penetration can cause anal cancers, rectal cancers acquired orally.
00:40:04:23 - 00:40:23:07
Dr Amber
It can cause throat cancers, head and neck cancers. And so this is one of the reasons that the HPV vaccination, the Gardasil nine, which protects against the nine most common strains of HPV that most nine most common high risk strains of HPV, is now recommended for people up to 46 years old.
00:40:23:08 - 00:40:28:09
Luna
All people or only females, because I have not heard of dudes getting tested or vaccinated for.
00:40:28:09 - 00:40:46:18
Dr Amber
It, so we don't have any testing available for guys unless they have evidence of warts or some type of growth or, you know, like a throat pain or like something on their vocal cords that's causing like voice fluctuations. That could be an early warning sign of cancer. We don't test guys for HPV.
00:40:46:20 - 00:40:48:00
Luna
Because it's expensive.
00:40:48:02 - 00:40:49:21
Dr Amber
Just there's no way.
00:40:49:23 - 00:40:51:05
Luna
And we don't vaccinate them.
00:40:51:05 - 00:41:16:22
Dr Amber
So the HPV vaccination has been recommended for boys for a number of years now. I can't even remember when they first started doing it, because when the HPV vaccination originally came out, it only covered four different strains of HPV and it was only recommended for girls, I want to say between like 12 and 26 years old. And then the recommendations, like it was becoming so overwhelmingly evident that it was decreasing the rates of cervical cancer.
00:41:17:00 - 00:41:29:02
Dr Amber
The the recommendation was extended to men and boys and penis owners to decrease the rates of penile and anal cancers, because who wants warts or cancer of the penis?
00:41:29:04 - 00:41:36:23
Luna
Okay, maybe I didn't know that because I wasn't asking the right questions to the right people, but I just haven't spoken to any dudes who knew anything about HPV.
00:41:37:01 - 00:42:01:21
Dr Amber
Men and boys and penis owners have been included in the recommendation for the Gardasil vaccine for a number of years now, but it's only been relatively recently that the age limit quote and I put limit in quotes. Okay, yeah, the age limit was increased to 46, and there are still a lot of women in their late 30s and 40s and even in their early 50s who were like, well, my doctor told me that I was too old for it.
00:42:01:21 - 00:42:20:22
Luna
Yes. So okay, I'm just going to out myself. I found out because of doctor Amber. Thank God I checked my vaccination records. You showed me how to do it online, public health records in California. And then I also look them up from my university and my other doctor's offices wasn't covered. I have a false memory of getting coverage, and it must have been for something else.
00:42:21:00 - 00:42:43:00
Luna
So when I went to go get the series of shots, I had pushback first on the phone, scheduling it, and I'm like, I'm only 34. Like, right, I need coverage. Also, I'm very slutty. Come on, you guys. You know, and so that was very I experienced that. And and I'm someone who can advocate for myself and theoretically am good at paying attention to my sexual health.
00:42:43:00 - 00:42:53:04
Luna
But, you know, if I can skip it, you could. Anyone could. I mean, like, if it's possible for me to make that error, I would just I really want everyone out there. PSA go make sure you're covered.
00:42:53:10 - 00:43:16:03
Dr Amber
Right. And if your doctor gives you pushback or tells you that you're too old or that you don't qualify or your insurance doesn't pay for it, you can go to the health district and health districts are available across the country. I paid out like cash out of pocket for mine because I was like $300 per dose for three dose series is like more than worth it for the prevention of all of these different types of cancers.
00:43:16:03 - 00:43:38:14
Dr Amber
I'm like, I don't want warts. And this is another reason why I think sex ed reboot is so important is because there are still doctors out there telling people that they don't need this vaccine, and just assuming that because people are married, that they're monogamous, or assuming that because they're 40 years old, they've already been exposed to HPV, well, yes, you very likely by 40 years old, have probably been exposed to HPV.
00:43:38:16 - 00:43:58:16
Dr Amber
That is not going to prevent you from contracting a strain of HPV that is high risk and will result in some type of awful cancer. So I want to push back against that. And I want to educate other doctors and be like, hey, this is something that you need to be talking to your patients about. And don't assume monogamy like we live in hookup culture.
00:43:58:17 - 00:43:59:08
Dr Amber
Let's say.
00:43:59:13 - 00:44:09:09
Luna
Like with the amount of people who do cheat and we have some evidence. I'm so curious what the real numbers would be. But it's like, yeah, our monogamy culture is not even very monogamous.
00:44:09:11 - 00:44:35:08
Dr Amber
Right? And I don't again, like, I don't want to shame anyone who would like, participate in infidelity because the reasons behind that are so nuanced and absolutely, you know, just painting people with shame and guilt, you know, does a really good job in the state of affairs, of talking about the nuances behind, like, what needs are being met from a relationship outside of a, you know, a marriage or, you know, some other defined relationship, like what needs are not being met.
00:44:35:08 - 00:44:46:16
Dr Amber
And you know, what part of yourself is this other person revealing to you that you may have lost touch with? That's very nourishing. So infidelity is a whole other different conversation. But the bottom line, but it could.
00:44:46:16 - 00:44:48:16
Luna
Be part of your confidential counsel.
00:44:48:16 - 00:45:19:19
Dr Amber
It could be part of your continued counsel. But the bottom line is, is that from a health standpoint, a personal health standpoint, an integrative medicine standpoint, and a public health standpoint, like, let's stop the transmission of these very preventable sexually transmitted infections through Prep, HIV prevention, Doxy, pet gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis prevention, and HPV vaccination. And learn to have the conversation with the people that mean the most to you, or that don't mean anything to you, but you like to have fun with.
00:45:19:22 - 00:45:42:00
Luna
Yeah. And I would also encourage people to just like inspect your bits regularly. Not just private parts, but also private parts. You know, I had someone I was talking to recently and had a good conversation, wanted to see what things would be like and when it came time to get naked, there was not shaming, but there was like a full batch cluster of warts at the base, like on the pubic bone.
00:45:42:02 - 00:46:00:06
Luna
And I was like, okay, that's so that's tell me about this. And how long has it been there. What's the deal. He's like oh well you know I'm my doctor. We burned it off. And then they came back and I was like okay. So so I'm just not comfortable with that. That's HPV like right. Yes. It's worth and not to shame.
00:46:00:06 - 00:46:15:23
Luna
Like again I've had planned towards I have worked on my hands or to my fingers, but also I really want to encourage people to just like advocate for yourself. You know, I'm the person that will kind of on the side of caution, not like a hypochondriac or anything, but I'll go to the doctor. I'll be like, is this spot, is this a thing?
00:46:15:23 - 00:46:31:12
Luna
Is this a skin tag? Is it ingrown hair? What do you think? You know, and yes, and I know not everyone is comfortable doing that. But I also have noticed that the more comfortable I am leading conversations, I am met with a similar level of comfort. Or at least I can see them trying, even if they aren't quite there.
00:46:31:15 - 00:46:41:06
Luna
Right? And I'm like, oh, maybe that's part of the energetic soup recipe that we can offer ourselves and each other. You know, it's just that self-examination, you know?
00:46:41:08 - 00:46:47:00
Dr Amber
Absolutely. And warts aren't always visible. So the fact that it was in a location on the pubic bone, that good.
00:46:47:02 - 00:46:48:07
Luna
Light and got visible.
00:46:48:07 - 00:46:56:06
Dr Amber
To you because those little suckers can hide in, you know, in a variety of different crevices in the what.
00:46:56:06 - 00:47:00:17
Luna
If I stick my tongue inside somewhere and then there was I don't even know. Right.
00:47:00:17 - 00:47:06:07
Dr Amber
And then you're exposed in your throat to something that you picked up and it's skin to skin contact.
00:47:06:07 - 00:47:35:05
Luna
Dying. Yeah. Now, if someone is like me and they're like, oh, but I want to be slutty, maybe I want to have play parties. Maybe I want to go. You know, I really limit the amount of fluid exchange that I'm willing to do. Transmission wise, partly because I get colds very easily and partly because I'm, you know, I'm slutty, but I cover up my like, you know, I try to just mitigate risk as much as possible and find partners who are willing to play in risk aware situations with the most risk mitigation possible.
00:47:35:05 - 00:47:55:00
Luna
Right. For me, that's what makes it fun and comfy. And I also do receive a lot of like, kisses, butt kisses. But, you know, what do you think when it comes to like, I mean, it's HPV, like, I'm, I'm HPV conscious, right? Because, like, kissing, that's it's skin to skin. Anything. Right? I will still kiss bodies.
00:47:55:00 - 00:48:05:08
Luna
I will put my mouth on balls and legs and thighs. But is that any different from actually kissing someone with saliva? So I know it's kind of an impossible question. It is a little bit.
00:48:05:08 - 00:48:51:10
Dr Amber
Of an impossible question. So fluid exchange. I'm going to like take that as the basis for my answer. Okay. So in terms of fluid exchange, yes, condoms, dental dams, Laurel's latex underwear for performing oral on someone who owns a vagina. I vote that there are ways to mitigate risk in terms of fluid exchange, but I don't think that that eliminates the need to have a conversation about not about your status or eliminates the need for like for me, if I'm going to engage with someone, like, I'm going to have those questions and I'm going to offer my own recent results, like, this is like you can actually eyeballs on my most recent testing.
00:48:51:10 - 00:49:06:17
Dr Amber
And I think that, you know, on the question of play parties and this type of thing, like, I think it's very smart and conscientious of organizers of these types of things to request those of the people who are going to be attending a party.
00:49:06:19 - 00:49:11:15
Luna
Even though there are no HPV tests for penis owners.
00:49:11:19 - 00:49:12:05
Dr Amber
Right?
00:49:12:09 - 00:49:15:14
Luna
I mean, HPV and HSV don't get tested for regularly anyway.
00:49:15:16 - 00:49:36:15
Dr Amber
Correct. And HSV, like over half of the adult population, has antibodies to HSV. And this is one of the like. This is the reason that we don't include it on regular routine screening is because like if you had a cold sore once when you were three years old and have never again had another outbreak, you're like, you're going to pop up positive for HSV antibodies.
00:49:36:15 - 00:49:55:17
Dr Amber
And that doesn't mean that you are at risk of transmitting it to a partner. But when someone gets a positive HSV result, whether it's 1 or 2 you like, because you can get two in your mouth, you can get two in your perineal area and vice versa, right? Like one is not better than the other, but just because you have antibodies.
00:49:55:19 - 00:50:03:04
Luna
I think is somewhere having an outbreak down low, I think I imagine that would be worse. I feel very lucky that both of mine are in my mouth. Yeah.
00:50:03:06 - 00:50:16:09
Dr Amber
Well, in. But when people get a positive HSV result on a routine screening, there is an immediate reaction of like, oh my God, my sex life is over, I'm damaged, goods like, and people will actually go into a tailspin.
00:50:16:09 - 00:50:30:20
Luna
But that's an education issue, not an actual safe place issue. And also there is asymptomatic viral shedding, right? Like regardless of what type you have, there's a small percentage of the time where even if you're not presenting, it's possible that you could be shedding the virus, right?
00:50:30:20 - 00:50:35:16
Dr Amber
Exactly. And that's how a lot of people become infected, is the assumption that about.
00:50:35:18 - 00:50:42:01
Luna
You, because it's like there's no way they could even prove that it wasn't something that was like dormant from a long time ago, because that does happen to people.
00:50:42:02 - 00:50:42:15
Dr Amber
Right?
00:50:42:17 - 00:51:07:21
Luna
Oh, okay. Yeah. Not to scare people, but I just there was a lot that I didn't know about HPV, and I'm currently trying to figure out what my practices are going to be because I'm like, okay. So even if I'm limiting fluid exchange from from my mouth into bits, or vice versa, if I'm putting my mouth all over somebody in, you know, maybe I'm kissing the neck, maybe I'm kissing here like I could still be.
00:51:07:21 - 00:51:21:14
Luna
And and then again, HPV is specific to where it lives. But also if then the other person in our threesome is also kissing the body, then there's there could be still some exchange of things. I mean, there's no perfect solution.
00:51:21:16 - 00:51:39:20
Dr Amber
There's no perfect solution. I think aware, right. And vaccination is a way of mitigating that risk, you know, from both a personal and a professional standpoint. Like if you're going to be engaging with other people on a regular basis, you will be exposed to HPV and HSV like it's part of the cost of admission for being a sexual human.
00:51:39:20 - 00:52:06:06
Dr Amber
And the only way to prevent those things, or any sort of risk of being exposed to those things, is to be abstinent. And for me, and for a lot of the population, abstinence is like not an option, right? So like, you know, but are you going to get HPV from kissing someone's neck or like running your tongue down someone's abdomen or, you know, like touching their feet or whatever, like is is the risk zero.
00:52:06:08 - 00:52:10:15
Dr Amber
No. Is it likely going to infect you? Probably not.
00:52:10:15 - 00:52:17:23
Luna
Are those studies going to get funded? No, no, I would be right that study. How would we have a control right.
00:52:18:03 - 00:52:34:19
Dr Amber
Exactly. And that evidence base is definitely lacking. And this is one of the reasons that I also like for anybody who's over 46 and is like, but, you know, I just got a divorce and now I kind of want to have my like, hot girl season of life, you know? What does that look like? Should I get the HPV vaccine?
00:52:34:19 - 00:52:50:00
Dr Amber
My doctor told me that I'm too old. I'm like, well, you know, if I were you and I were 50, I would still get it. I got it in 44. Yeah. The the risk to benefit ratio here is strongly in favor of protecting your yourself.
00:52:50:05 - 00:52:58:00
Luna
I love that. Anything else that you're thinking about sex wise or any questions for me or just anything else you want to share with us?
00:52:58:01 - 00:53:23:20
Dr Amber
I think that the social prescriptions and the social paradigms are being changed in a very constructive way, and I am here for providing information and empowering people to ask for what they want and remind them that if it's not a hell yes, it should be a hell no.
00:53:24:01 - 00:53:26:15
Luna
Yeah, at least to hell. Let's wait.
00:53:26:17 - 00:53:27:09
Dr Amber
Right?
00:53:27:11 - 00:53:31:22
Luna
Let's think about this more. Remind us where people can find you on the internet.
00:53:32:00 - 00:53:48:09
Dr Amber
So my website is Artemis Luxury wellness.com. You can book confidential consults on there. It links out to my Patreon. It links out to my YouTube where you can find sex ed reboot recordings. And I'm on Instagram at Artemis Luxury Wellness.
00:53:48:09 - 00:53:54:12
Luna
LV amazing doctor Amber Hill, thank you so much for coming back and sharing your sexy updates.
00:53:54:14 - 00:53:57:08
Dr Amber
Thank you really for having me back in your life.
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