Sex, Coffee, Repeat: Susanne’s Update
- Luna Robbie
- Dec 5, 2022
- 19 min read
47 heteroflexible cis femme, she/her pronouns, exploring: squirting, sensual sex, primal sex, and sexual relaxation.
00:00:00:07 - 00:00:02:20
Luna
Suzanne. Hi.
00:00:02:22 - 00:00:04:11
Suzanne
Yes, hi.
00:00:04:13 - 00:00:09:16
Luna
Welcome back. So, what's happened in the couple of months since I talked to you?
00:00:09:18 - 00:00:34:09
Suzanne
Well, I am still seeing my boyfriend, Peter. And our relationship is going very good. So we are now going to spend Christmas together, and, this is, it's going very good. So, so. And we are building our trusts connection and it's all kind of going very good, actually. So exploring each other all we can.
00:00:34:11 - 00:00:40:07
Luna
Amazing. Are you feeling, like, sexually satisfied and filled up? Like, tell us a little bit about your sexy past.
00:00:40:12 - 00:01:03:00
Suzanne
Yes. All in all, I am. We have this issue that we live some hours apart, so. So we don't get to see each other as often as I would like to. So, of course, there are times where I need him sexually and emotionally, where I can't be with him. But yes, has it the same way. So. But we are we're dealing with it and it's okay.
00:01:03:00 - 00:01:16:03
Suzanne
And we get to to meet each other and, and feel that that connection also so that the brings something also to to the relationship but sexually satisfied. Yes, of course I am.
00:01:16:05 - 00:01:21:09
Luna
Okay. Wait. So do you have to wait until Christmas to see him or. Because we're done? No, no, no, we're right now. Okay, okay.
00:01:21:09 - 00:01:34:15
Suzanne
How about no, no no, no, we try to see each other every weekend, but, weekends we cannot do that. The longest we have been apart is, I think, ten days. So it's not that long, but. But when you want to be together, it's. It's a long time.
00:01:34:17 - 00:01:48:03
Luna
It is a long time. I also just went on a second date with someone last night, and we were, like, making out in the car afterwards. Thank you. And I, like, woke up this morning and I was like, I want to make out again with him.
00:01:48:05 - 00:02:07:10
Suzanne
Yeah. You know, honestly, where is he? I know the feeling. I know the feeling. And I appreciate that. I still feel this way after we have been together for months now and still have that that longing for him, every time that that's that's very good. I think that's a good sign for us.
00:02:07:12 - 00:02:09:06
Luna
I love that that's great.
00:02:09:07 - 00:02:29:09
Suzanne
Other things that we both like, we have tried to, to take in and be very specific about. I, as you know, would like to talk about it all the time. He's not he's not used to talk about sex. So it's still a little bit difficult for him. But but we're trying to and he's he's okay with it. But he also he has to think about the answer sometimes.
00:02:29:09 - 00:02:50:06
Suzanne
But I just want to answer me next question. Answer me the next question. But but that's okay. And that gives me a moment to think a little harder about something also. But already in the first few days, we found out exactly what we like, and we have just built that up, and we have found new ways of getting me to squirt things.
00:02:50:06 - 00:02:53:14
Suzanne
I didn't know how to, I didn't know my body could do that. Yes.
00:02:53:20 - 00:02:58:16
Luna
What's the new way? Like, what was it like before? What's it like now, and how did you figure it out?
00:02:58:18 - 00:03:24:07
Suzanne
He did actually. Well, our most passionate position is me on the back hitch downwards, giving him a deep, soothing blowjob while he uses his fingers on me. Maybe a dildo? Also. But suddenly one day he went outside masturbating my clitoris with rapid emotion. Really, really fast. Just, just kept going really fast. And it came out so fast.
00:03:24:07 - 00:03:45:06
Suzanne
I had never tried that before. And think what what happened? And we have explored that even more. I think that's very funny. And it's a crazy feeling because you, you get sensation of, internal squirting orgasm at the same time with the clitoris stimulation. It's insanely, I can't even explain it.
00:03:45:07 - 00:03:45:21
Luna
00:03:45:23 - 00:03:52:23
Suzanne
So. And when he does that in the same time where I am deep snoring him, it's the most sexist thing I have ever tried.
00:03:53:00 - 00:03:53:18
Luna
Ever.
00:03:53:20 - 00:04:14:02
Suzanne
So we do that a lot, my God. And we like the emotional slow sex. Also, we're trying to explore that because we have talked so much about sex and we have jumped in this relationship with the deep showing of the anal. We trying to get more relaxed about the emotional sex. Also try to do that more. It's connecting in another way.
00:04:14:04 - 00:04:21:18
Luna
But it's Deep Throat and anal, so it's a different category of emotion. Could that be emotional for you or is it just a different energy?
00:04:21:20 - 00:04:32:11
Suzanne
I think the anal the Deep Throat thing, it's very for me it's it's it's more heart sex sex with extremely, I don't know the words like, you know, city.
00:04:32:14 - 00:04:34:12
Luna
Yeah, I know the intensity.
00:04:34:17 - 00:04:56:08
Suzanne
It's animalistic, if you know what I mean. It's like the inner animal just coming out primal. Primal? That's the word. It's very primal with more sensational, slow sex. It's not that often, but it gives something else. It's more like the words of making love. It's more like that, that the other thing is also that because that also gives us both something.
00:04:56:08 - 00:05:00:06
Suzanne
But this is this is something else. It's new for me. Yeah. And I love it.
00:05:00:08 - 00:05:20:05
Luna
One of the little fantasies that I got off to just this morning with this new partner who, like, I just touched his penis for the first time, you know, like, just through the pants and then in the pants a little bit because I got excited. I woke up this morning and thought about just, like, sitting in his lap, but then naked, but then sitting on his cock and just getting held.
00:05:20:05 - 00:05:35:12
Luna
And that's like what I came to this morning. I just like a little wake up orgasm. What sort of stuff makes you feel that emotional connection and a sensuality that sounds like not so much the primal side, but just the deep. Maybe love. I don't want to put words in your mouth, but like the kind of just.
00:05:35:14 - 00:05:53:03
Suzanne
I know exactly what you mean. I think when we haven't seen each other for seven, eight, ten days, it's very primal at first, but then the next time it comes to this more making love sessions and it's the emotional parts of me is waking up. I wasn't expecting that. And I want to tell him that I love him.
00:05:53:03 - 00:06:09:13
Suzanne
I want to tell him that I want to be with him. I want to tell him that I think we should move in together. All this stuff comes up when we have that kind of connection. On the other hand, that primal sex is more like, I just want your bodies. Very sexy is another form of sex. I think it's another form of connection.
00:06:09:15 - 00:06:10:19
Luna
Beautiful.
00:06:10:21 - 00:06:12:00
Suzanne
Yes it is.
00:06:12:02 - 00:06:19:04
Luna
And I'm assuming that emotional stuff is tight. The emotion stuff it's tied in with all of the trust that you're talking about. Yeah.
00:06:19:06 - 00:06:38:15
Suzanne
Yes, exactly. And we are still talking about going to maybe a sex club and doing threesome, a foursome in one point. But I have my best friend who is doing this, and she's talking very much about this, but I find myself actually holding a little bit back on that where before, just when I met him, I said, do I want to go to a sex shop with you now?
00:06:38:15 - 00:06:55:23
Suzanne
Yeah, yeah. But now I feel like I want to hold back because I want to be extremely sure that he can trust me, that he knows that he can trust me 100%. Because if I get the feeling that he's doing this for me and not for us, then it won't be right. It won't be satisfying for any of us.
00:06:56:00 - 00:07:14:03
Suzanne
So we're holding back and it's going to happen, I think. But in the future, not now. And it's not like we don't trust each other. It's just like, I want to be completely sure that he knows exactly that he have me. I think that he would be the one to have the jealous part if one of us. So I don't want that at all.
00:07:14:08 - 00:07:18:06
Suzanne
Yeah, because he's insecurity could destroy something. Yeah.
00:07:18:06 - 00:07:38:06
Luna
I think that is so wise and responsible and difficult, especially big statement is there but especially as a relationship. You know for me I'm like oh yeah. Well when there's more desire and connection for it to be a long term thing, of course you're going to hold it and protect it and I think it's a gift to everyone involved, even though you have to wait.
00:07:38:06 - 00:08:07:22
Luna
And I know how much that sucks because I have and you know, the other partner that couples where I can definitely tell, but maybe not right away. But, you know, for me, it's like not doing anyone in a group sex situation any service when one person is even just like trying to push past discomfort, you know exactly. And of course, being uncomfortable is not the end of the world, but that's where it gets into that tricky territory of like, you to have to know where you are in the relationship, and it sounds like you're being so thoughtful, which is that.
00:08:08:02 - 00:08:19:13
Suzanne
Yes, we are, yes we are. Yes. And I think that this is the part that really connects us, that we respect and accept that we have different issues, different ways of thinking about these things.
00:08:19:15 - 00:08:32:21
Luna
You mentioned your best friend. I happen to know that you like to talk about sex with your best friend. How has it been to like, have these things to gush about? Especially since it sounds like maybe, you know, in your last relationship you didn't have that more recently?
00:08:32:23 - 00:08:51:03
Suzanne
She has been my anchor in a lot of years. Before my divorce, I didn't talk to her a lot about this, but after what's what she has been exploring, I have been exploring. We have shared this secret together. It wasn't a secret, but she was the only one that I could talk about this and I was the same for her.
00:08:51:05 - 00:09:10:23
Suzanne
So we have a deep special connection around this topic. There are things that I can tell her that I would be not afraid to tell, but I can talk to her about it and find maybe a way to talk to Pete about it after I have talked to her about. So she separate things for me in this context, also in everything else.
00:09:10:23 - 00:09:30:04
Suzanne
But she's she's perfect. Yeah. I feel very appreciative that I have a person in my life that I can talk to about these things. I can tell her all my troubles, my insecurities, everything, and she just shows what she thinks about it. And then I get a different view of the things and okay, I can go forward.
00:09:30:06 - 00:09:31:06
Luna
Love that.
00:09:31:08 - 00:09:52:07
Suzanne
Also, in this new relationship with Peter where I get insecure, he gets insecure, we have inner fights, but we discuss things and we we had a point where we were the thinking maybe we should stop this, but luckily we decided to go forward and all the ways she she was there and, I am very lucky to have her in my life.
00:09:52:13 - 00:10:00:08
Luna
That's beautiful. Do you think you and Peter might go to a club just to watch? You know, just together for the two of you?
00:10:00:10 - 00:10:19:08
Suzanne
Yeah. So we have talked about that also also because I know that I would be the one to I could go I could do it all. Just put me in the room and I would do it to do everything where he's not even sure that he wants to go to a club. So we have talked about it. At some point I think we will go just to watch and he can see what he feels.
00:10:19:08 - 00:10:39:16
Suzanne
Does he get excited about seeing other people have sex? Could he get to the point where he would like to have sex with me in one of the rooms, knowing that other people could look just to watch and feel the excitement, feel the tension in the rooms. I think that would be a very good start for us, for him to see if this is something that he would like to do in the future, I love.
00:10:39:17 - 00:10:50:07
Luna
That. And what has your sex with your self been like and or like? Do you have any fantasies rolling around in your head, or are they all kind of Peter related? Like, what's that landscape been looking like?
00:10:50:09 - 00:11:17:08
Suzanne
My fantasies are as they were before. I still have these fantasies about threesomes and foursomes and group sex in general. And he knows about that. That doesn't mean that's what I have to do. But he knows there, there. The masturbation sex with myself has been, well, not as much as I would think it would be, because actually he he fills me up in so many ways that I wouldn't say that I don't need it, but it's not as often as it was before.
00:11:17:08 - 00:11:28:13
Suzanne
Yeah, well, it's always good to have an orgasm, of course, but some days I don't even think about it. Before Peter, that was my everyday. It first thought.
00:11:28:15 - 00:11:29:23
Luna
So.
00:11:30:01 - 00:11:39:03
Suzanne
So now I don't have to do it as much. Of course, in periods of times I do it every day. Some periods I do just once or twice a week. That changes.
00:11:39:05 - 00:11:54:14
Luna
Totally. I'm the same way. I should say that out loud in case people think that I'm a. There are days where I will just like be masturbating myself like every hour or three. But then I will go through periods, especially if I'm focused on a project, or especially if I'm feeling like, you know, just a different part of my body.
00:11:54:19 - 00:12:13:09
Luna
And it's not that I'm not horny, and it's not that I'm not thinking about sex, because at this point, like, everything I'm engaging with is like sex related, but it's like, it's almost like my own little edging for myself because it's, you know, causing the difference a little bit of like, dopamine hit when it's not the same all the time.
00:12:13:14 - 00:12:19:00
Suzanne
Exactly. And I think it's the need for the dopamine hit that speeds it to do it actually.
00:12:19:02 - 00:12:36:04
Luna
Okay. So your fantasies so we know you have kind of the same fantasies as you did when we talked to. Well, I guess your episode came out ten weeks ago. So we talked however long before that. But do you get like specific like when they're turning in your head or do they turn in your head like mine? Mine are always sort of like in the background.
00:12:36:04 - 00:12:45:18
Luna
And then like this specific detail will come out depending on who I talk to or what other story are here. Like that specific like how does it work for you?
00:12:45:20 - 00:13:07:23
Suzanne
I think the fantasies are not there all the time, but when I am alone in my so for and relaxed and okay, I can watch another Netflix series or I can play a stupid Facebook game or something on my phone the night. So often that at times when I or I could masturbate and then the excitement arouses me instantly.
00:13:08:00 - 00:13:30:21
Suzanne
So it's the times where I am very relaxed. Before I used to masturbate before I went to sleep. I don't do that anymore. I don't I don't know why because there was a time where I was relaxed most, but now it's different times of the day, mostly at the weekends, but also when I get home from work and I'm alone in the house, that's when I do it in the afternoon and that's where it pops up.
00:13:30:21 - 00:13:35:03
Suzanne
I could do that. Yes you could. And then I feel the excitement. Okay. Yes, you want me to do that?
00:13:35:05 - 00:13:40:12
Luna
Do you go through phases with masturbation or like is it always changing or do you kind of do the same thing.
00:13:40:14 - 00:13:55:09
Suzanne
Off the same thing? Okay, I found this this good melody that works for me almost every time. So I just do that. Sometimes I use the filter, sometimes I just use a vibrator. It's always a vibration sentence in some sort, but almost the same context.
00:13:55:11 - 00:14:12:23
Luna
No, I'm mine's kind of the same. Like I probably do like 80% the same ish or like 80% my go tos. And then there'll be certain times where I like, want a certain type of anal stimulation or like want to do a double penetration with my build. You know, some things that feel a little bit more effortful that.
00:14:12:23 - 00:14:22:01
Suzanne
That's correct. Sometimes I switch to do anal stimulation or a double penetration. I do that not very often, but it it happens. Yeah, sometimes.
00:14:22:03 - 00:14:38:02
Luna
I've been getting excited too because I've been so I've been working on organizing my bucket list since I think I started like officially writing stuff down in February, like, and like I was like, I'm going to go through all the old episodes and write down everything I've ever said I wanted to do, and I did that for some.
00:14:38:02 - 00:14:51:20
Luna
And then I was trying to keep track every time I'm on a podcast, oh, I have to do this. Like I've been trying to keep track. But then I went through, you know, just looking up different kinks and fetishes and things and roleplays and just trying to remember stuff in my brain. So I have about 300 items on it.
00:14:51:21 - 00:14:53:12
Luna
Then I was like, oh no, this is 20 years.
00:14:53:13 - 00:14:53:19
Suzanne
That's a.
00:14:53:19 - 00:15:15:15
Luna
Lot. But yesterday I was finally just it's a whole organizational thing. I'm finally putting them in a format where they can show up on Creation Place once I publish the next version of it, in a way that people can actually look at and engage with. And so now I'm in the process of being like all right, which ones can I put, like publicly in case my parents friends stumble upon it, even though that's going to be like the grown up stuff?
00:15:15:15 - 00:15:38:01
Luna
And then which ones do I need to like keep a little bit private? Because there's some there's some extreme stuff on there and also the stuff that I've checked off. But anyway, all of that is to say, since doing that, I found it so inspirational because I'm like, oh wow, oh, there is stuff like, I don't know, it's almost like it gets me over the action potential hump of like feeling a little bit.
00:15:38:03 - 00:15:59:10
Luna
I don't want to like shame it because it's I don't I have no shame. I like doing the same masturbation most of the time. Like it's not. I don't think there's a point of pride in being like, oh, I do it different every day. Like if it works for me and I feel good, that's the whole point. But it was cool to just notice inside of myself the sort of like natural flow or I guess, wave of like the bubbling up of like.
00:15:59:11 - 00:16:00:21
Suzanne
Oh yeah, there's all these other things.
00:16:00:21 - 00:16:03:18
Luna
I want to try, you know, like. And so I'm just noticing.
00:16:03:18 - 00:16:23:12
Suzanne
That and notice that since I met Peter, I have found myself more relaxed around sex in terms of before, I had a lot of things that I want to try. I want to do this. I want to be tied down. I want to try everything. And most of it, I did try it, but now I'm just like, it will come.
00:16:23:17 - 00:16:41:22
Suzanne
I think I'm more relaxed now. I don't think about these fantasies so much anymore because if we want to try this, it's going to happen and we are talking about it. So. So I'm not chasing it as much as I did. So I find myself more relaxed now, more like, okay, I don't have to chase the next fantasy.
00:16:41:22 - 00:16:52:15
Suzanne
I don't have to chase the next adventure. I'm just right here, right now exploring with him whatever we want to do today. So that's actually very calming.
00:16:52:17 - 00:16:53:17
Luna
Yeah, I think.
00:16:53:19 - 00:17:09:05
Suzanne
I was maybe a little too on edge. Last time we talked, I was excited about everything. Everything was new. I was searching for the big hit all the time. Now I'm much more relaxed, and that's thanks to him and it's good for me also, it's very good for me.
00:17:09:07 - 00:17:14:07
Luna
Yeah, I was going to say, how does that affect the rest of your life and or your creativity?
00:17:14:09 - 00:17:40:00
Suzanne
Just feel good about being here right now. Before I was chasing all the time, chasing after something, I didn't even know what it was. Now I'm I'm much more relaxed in my everyday life. I like that, and maybe that's actually what I was chasing this to find the person, to give me this sense of relaxation where I could just be me, and also at the same time feel love, be sexually stimulated the way I wanted to.
00:17:40:02 - 00:17:44:06
Suzanne
So I think I found that. So I just want to be here.
00:17:44:08 - 00:18:09:09
Luna
That's amazing. And I think that that is quite literally what I mean when I say, let's all lead better laid lives. Like, I know that when I suck, I'm having satisfying, connected sex. It doesn't have to be like the most intense sex ever. Just. But just like nice connection. Whatever the relationship can hold, that makes the whole rest of my life and my work and my everything just a little bit shinier and not so desperate feeling.
00:18:09:09 - 00:18:11:12
Luna
And just like.
00:18:11:14 - 00:18:32:02
Suzanne
A feeling that that's that's exactly what I had before this. This feeling of trying to achieve as much sex. Yeah, as much as I could in a small period of time. So I was chasing all of it, and now it's just more like, I don't have to. I just just have to take it at the pace that we think is good for us.
00:18:32:04 - 00:18:39:08
Suzanne
When I am in a good place emotionally, I work better. Yeah. This is what has happened for me the last four months.
00:18:39:10 - 00:18:54:21
Luna
I have more available to give to other people too, in terms of my is related to listen or my ability to whatever, you know and not not in an over giving way just in a like because I don't have that like seeking energy because I am settled in myself, then I'm able to just be like, well, what's your life like?
00:18:54:22 - 00:19:05:14
Luna
How are you? Oh, what's it like over there? Okay. Any other thoughts about your sex life or any other things? Like anything that you want that we'll like check in about next time we talk or anything like that.
00:19:05:16 - 00:19:23:21
Suzanne
But I'm still going for this visit to the sex clubs because I can feel I want this. But I have also told him that if he comes to the point where he can, he says, this is nothing. I cannot do it, then it's okay. But he knows that this is something I really want to do. So I hope that we can go there someday.
00:19:23:21 - 00:19:44:04
Suzanne
So fingers crossed for that. And then I'm just, hoping that we can get to a point where we can be together more often, maybe live together and have sex every day. So. So it's just the possibility of if you can have sex if you don't have to. But that does it. Does it? You can that I would like to have the chance.
00:19:44:06 - 00:19:46:15
Luna
Even if I just get a little butt squeeze or something, you know.
00:19:46:18 - 00:19:50:18
Suzanne
Exactly. I just want him to be with me. So I hope that's where we're going.
00:19:50:20 - 00:20:09:18
Luna
Fuck, yeah. You know that. It's my big dream to have a full service creativity resort. Which means, like, basically on this have, like, a grown up sex camp with all the, like, beautiful places you could have sex, but like, in ways where it's okay, and then the family part where the kids are at daycare and camp and doing arts and crafts in the other building across the street.
00:20:09:18 - 00:20:24:09
Luna
Okay, so if you were going to design a room and then you were going to be like you and Peter, we're going to be the first people to fucking like, it could be anything. It could be like a place in the real world where you want to fuck, you know? So one of my big ones is like a coffee shop bookshop.
00:20:24:09 - 00:20:42:21
Luna
Like, that's one of my, like, recurring fantasies, but like shelves where there's perfect, like, leaning places and like, chairs that are good for fucking and lap dances. But also someone could be reading next do and like little alcove. So like that one that I want to have. And that's the place in the resort where people go to get coffee like it's the working living coffee shop.
00:20:42:23 - 00:20:56:03
Luna
So that's a good example of like one that I keep noodling on that keeps like growing in my mind today off the top of your head, what sort of location and or room would you like to have at this place? At Hotel Creation?
00:20:56:05 - 00:21:25:10
Suzanne
It's funny you should ask that, because I have recently thought about a room with the big round bed in the middle of the room. It's like a platform, big round. But there is a rich silk linen on it, and I think we have a good selection of handcuffs. Yes. Pedals and, everything. Dildos, vibrators. Good chairs. I have fancy artists, good chairs also.
00:21:25:12 - 00:21:38:09
Suzanne
So that would be a good place. And of course, yes. Great espresso coffee machine. Going to have sex. Have a little coffee, go back to have sex. So this round bed, it's I don't know. It's popped up in my mind recently. Oh well.
00:21:38:11 - 00:21:59:17
Luna
It's funny you say that because my the dream of the creation space. So there's hotel creation. That's the big resort, probably in the middle of the desert. But I imagine also creation spaces that are like gallery spaces, slash workshops. Then on the weekends is where the great sex parties happen. I want to have one that's really big and has a big stage, and I want it to have a circle bed at the middle, and that's where the performers start.
00:21:59:17 - 00:22:10:06
Luna
The people who are like sitting in the correct zones to get invited into the sex party. That's how the sex party starts. And then I want the circle bed, like that's the elevator that goes down into the dungeon. And so that's.
00:22:10:06 - 00:22:11:23
Suzanne
Like, I want to visit that place.
00:22:12:00 - 00:22:28:10
Luna
My goal for 2023 is just to start getting whatever I can together and to make a real space happen, and then just continue making it bigger and bigger. Yes. Okay. Sounds nice to say, and I love talking to you. Thank you so much for sharing details with us. I love this catch up. You will.
Comentarios