Hotwife, Nudist, Entrepreneur: Casey Donatello’s Update
- Luna Robbie
- Jan 15, 2024
- 37 min read
41 straight cis female, she/her pronouns, Hotwife in a Stag-Vixen marriage.
🔗 CASEY DONATELLO LINKS | caseydonatello.com / twitter / OF
00:00:00:02 - 00:00:20:14
Luna
An update from a past guest who is here today to talk about educating others on ethical non-monogamy and sex positivity on her new podcast. A 41 year old straight says fem hot wife and a stag vixen marriage and author of books about her journey. Her new podcast, In Bed With strangers, helps listeners understand the mental and emotional aspects of the lifestyle.
00:00:20:16 - 00:00:29:19
Luna
Plus all the kinky, sexy stuff. Originally from episode 193. Hot wife with a double vaginal cream pie. Fantasy. Welcome back. Casey. Donatello.
00:00:29:21 - 00:00:31:22
Casey
Hi. Thank you for having me back.
00:00:32:00 - 00:00:52:12
Luna
I am so happy to have you back. And I have to say, whenever anyone says DVP, I think of you. And I still haven't had it yet. I still have not yet had double vaginal. I still haven't even had a threesome with two penis owners yet, but I haven't made the thing my priority. And also I like I am so obsessed with well, I'm obsessed with learning.
00:00:52:12 - 00:01:09:03
Luna
But we're not talking about me today. We're here to talk about you. So start off by telling us now. It's been a little minute since we talked to you. Where is your shame? A meter today with ten being the highest, one being the lowest. How is your sexual shame a meter doing right now? Have there been any fluctuations since we talked last?
00:01:09:05 - 00:01:13:04
Casey
I can't remember what it was last time, but I'm going to go with one nice.
00:01:13:09 - 00:01:23:17
Luna
The tracks. I feel like I was low last time. I also don't remember but anything to say about it. Like, does shame ever come up for you these days? Or like with partners, with people like, what's what's it feeling like?
00:01:23:18 - 00:01:56:04
Casey
So that's a funny question actually, because I was talking to somebody about this recently. My husband and I are so comfortable with who we are and what we do. And, you know, we're out there publicly now. Our faces are everywhere. But every once in a while, I do feel a little shame from other people about our specific dynamic, from people in the lifestyle sometimes that are not hot wife couples, they don't always understand what we are, and they're kind of confused.
00:01:56:04 - 00:02:26:12
Casey
But it's not everybody. But it does happen occasionally, especially if there are just dedicated couples sweepers, right? Sometimes we look at us like we're crazy and they don't understand, and they try to convince us that we should meet other couples. So sometimes if they are open minded and we explain it and they get it, it's fantastic. Yeah, but we do meet some people that don't get it, and then they just keep going at it and trying to convince us to be something we're not.
00:02:26:13 - 00:02:47:09
Casey
And then every once in a while I'm like, oh, this feels a little weird. Or we tell people that we're into gang bangs and they're not. Sometimes, you know, gang bangs have a negative connotation. Sometimes people have very negative views about it. So if you openly admit, hey, I love that we love going to theaters, some people look at you like you're really trashy.
00:02:47:09 - 00:03:05:04
Casey
And then I'm like, oh God, why did I just say that? You know, so, right. Even though I'm super confident, I think everybody has moments where you still feel like, oh fuck, why did I tell somebody that? Then it passes and I'm fine again. It's not a long lasting shame like it used to be, you know, ten years ago.
00:03:05:06 - 00:03:09:08
Casey
But yeah, I think everybody had moments of insecurities once in a while. That's just normal.
00:03:09:13 - 00:03:28:17
Luna
Totally. Well, and it makes total sense too, because it also sounds like it's not your personal shame. It's just you're like, you know, we're human, so we mirror each other, right? And so when someone else's shame comes up and it's at you or like, because of you, I'm saying this with air quotes, that makes sense. I am always shocked by how in, what should I say, non-normative communities.
00:03:28:17 - 00:03:45:18
Luna
There still is like the micro segmentation and people. People are so impressive that they still always find a way to sort of like poke at each other, even even when we're all like the same being different. That is so funny to me. And it makes sense then in that case that you are now doing this work of education.
00:03:45:18 - 00:04:01:07
Luna
But before you dive into, like the specifics of your new podcast and all the education you've been doing, can you just tell us a little bit like, what is your sex life been like? Are there any recent highlights or maybe things you want to point people to? Because I know you do a lot of hot stuff, but like, how have the gangbang spin?
00:04:01:09 - 00:04:24:02
Casey
We did have several more outings to like adult bookstores, which were always fun. That's a very different experience than, you know, a private get together or something like that. So I think we've been to a total of, I think like five different places throughout this year, and some of them we've gone to multiple times. So that's always fun.
00:04:24:02 - 00:04:43:16
Casey
It's it's so hard to describe unless you're actually there, you know, the chaos and the energy that happens in a place like that. But it's for a particular taste. That's definitely not for everybody. I don't recommend everybody rushes out and does that. It has to be something like you are super curious about or super into, and you do a little research about that.
00:04:43:18 - 00:05:06:11
Casey
We've been having a ton of fun with our OnlyFans. We're a little over a year, maybe like 14 or 15 months in, and we just added free live streaming on there. So once or twice a month, my husband and I do a free live stream for anybody that's subscribing. They don't have to pay for those on their page, so that's been really fun to have that interaction going.
00:05:06:11 - 00:05:16:15
Casey
And my husband actually really, really prefers that to just straight filming with me. He likes that engagement and he likes it to the guys, you know, while we're playing.
00:05:16:16 - 00:05:18:03
Luna
Oh cool.
00:05:18:05 - 00:05:34:03
Casey
Yeah. I figured once we hit a year we needed to do something different. I'm mixed up because we're the type that not only do we not want our fans to get bored, but we get bored with stuff, right? And do the same thing. Yeah, and you always need to find that new thrill and that new excitement. So we said, hey, why don't we try this?
00:05:34:03 - 00:05:45:21
Casey
And then we really liked it. So that's been a fun feature. People have been having fun with that, and we're really missing the nice weather and all the nude camping. We're dying in the winter.
00:05:45:23 - 00:05:55:14
Luna
Could nude camping did we talk to. That's the one. Okay. Where did you go? What did you do? How did you make sure that you weren't assaulting other people's eyeballs?
00:05:55:16 - 00:06:20:17
Casey
That's one way to phrase it. So we have an RV, you know, glamping, if you want to call it. We're very good, but we have been to a mix of purely nudist places. Amazing. And then we've been to lifestyle friendly places. So we go across the board and it's really interesting to see the difference, because a lot of people just assume they are the same thing and they're not right.
00:06:20:17 - 00:06:42:23
Casey
Like you're a nudist, I know nothing sexual involved, nothing dirty happening, but you have a lot of people that just think because you're naked, everybody is fucking everyone. There's this giant orgy happening and it's not at all. Some of these places are family friendly nude campgrounds. Yeah. And, you know, it's definitely a whole different ballgame. So we switch back and forth.
00:06:42:23 - 00:07:07:10
Casey
But it's been so freeing and liberating and it just really helps your self-esteem to be in an environment like that, especially if you think you're someone that is not comfortable being naked in public. I suggest people go because it's an experience that's kind of totally the opposite of what people think it's going to be. They think they're going to be super embarrassed.
00:07:07:10 - 00:07:36:14
Casey
It's going to be awkward. Everybody's going to be judging them and staring at them. But after the first 5 or 10 minutes, you literally forget you're naked. Everyone is naked. It's not a beauty contest. Just enjoy the comfort. And I always like to say that I think people at nudist resorts are extra, extra friendly and approachable, and I think it's because once you strip down, everybody's kind of on like an even scale, right?
00:07:36:14 - 00:07:55:12
Casey
You can't tell anything from their clothes, their appearance, how much money they have, what they do. So you're kind of all on this even level. And then I think if you are brave enough to be naked in public, it says something about your personality, your bottom a little more welcoming and friendly.
00:07:55:12 - 00:07:58:10
Luna
I think certainly in this culture.
00:07:58:12 - 00:08:21:21
Casey
We also do a lot of vanilla, like quick style camping, and I find that we make friends so much faster at the nude places. Yeah, like immediately when people are coming up to you and saying hello, whereas vanilla places, everybody kind of keeps to themselves. They'll wave as they walk by. But it's a very interesting dynamic, and I think people are so afraid of it that they won't give it a chance.
00:08:21:23 - 00:08:27:21
Casey
But it's one of the coolest experiences and the best things that we've ever done. We love it so much.
00:08:27:23 - 00:08:45:15
Luna
That's so cool. I love the consistency of your novelty seeking, you know, like like just go back to the only found stuff, like you have to mix it up, especially when you're doing stuff so regularly. And I love that you are an explorer of subcultures among subcultures, and that differentiation is important. That's really cool. You exploring both.
00:08:45:18 - 00:09:08:07
Casey
It's crazy because when you talk about like body image and confidence and, you know, loving how you are, I always say it's easy to love yourself when you are naked, but in a like a pose or an environment where you're aware of what you're doing. Like if you take a sexy selfie for someone, right? Like you're posing and making all the wrinkles go away and getting good lighting and stuff like that.
00:09:08:09 - 00:09:28:23
Casey
Or if you're shooting like a sex scene for OnlyFans, you know your body's moving. It's in these sexy poses and stuff. But when you're playing like naked tennis or riding a bike naked, your body does not look okay. So even for someone like me that loves my body doing that for the first time, I was like, oh my God, my boobs are bouncing everywhere.
00:09:29:00 - 00:09:47:10
Casey
Like, you see this role? It felt like it was nerve wracking. But then we were playing with other people that were naked, and they didn't care that their bodies were like that. So you're like, oh fuck it. Great. Yeah. And that's the great part about it that you really love your body and all of your flaws and imperfections, because that's your body.
00:09:47:15 - 00:09:57:00
Casey
You're not trying to hide it and look sexy. You know? There's nothing about that. It's just being 100% free. And it's such a powerful experience.
00:09:57:02 - 00:10:14:20
Luna
I love that because it's like for many of us, sex is the only time that we get to be, you know, the animals that we are and we humans pretend like, oh, we're so evolved and we have clothes and we machines and all of that, but it's like we are still animals, actually. And we all have evidence in our own lives of our lizard brain nervous systems taking over.
00:10:14:20 - 00:10:29:02
Luna
We do stupid human shit. And so I love that you get to be an animal. Human in kind of this primal way, in an everyday way. But tell me about naked bicycling. Like, is your pussy just, like on the saddle? Like, do you have a towel? Like, what do you do?
00:10:29:04 - 00:10:30:20
Casey
Question I always wear a thong.
00:10:31:00 - 00:10:31:07
Luna
Okay.
00:10:31:12 - 00:10:50:04
Casey
Because. Yeah, but I mean, you you're allowed to be fully naked, but that although topless, riding a bike freaks me out. And then anywhere you sit in public areas, everybody sits on a towel. Okay? For, like, cleanliness, stuff like that. But, you know, like playing tennis and pickleball, not a, you know, you're in your sneakers and a baseball hat and some sunscreen.
00:10:50:06 - 00:11:07:14
Casey
You know, you go hiking and just hiking boots and a backpack. Like it's so weird. You always feel like you're going to get in trouble and then you never do. But then the worst part is you have to go home and put your clothes on, and you just feel so claustrophobic and yeah, just like suffocate. That's the worst part, is the.
00:11:07:16 - 00:11:24:03
Luna
I relate to that so hard. So lately I've been in a place at a hot tub where I don't have to wear clothes, certainly not a top. And then, you know, at home, I'm in an apartment complex, bunch of condos, there's a rooftop hot tub, there's cameras. And every time I get in, in my swimsuit, I feel wrong.
00:11:24:03 - 00:11:30:12
Luna
I'm like, oh, no, I forgot to take off. Oh, no, no, I'm doing it right here. Damn it. Okay, I missed this pause.
00:11:30:14 - 00:11:49:02
Casey
I would say that's the only downside to the nude camping is that you get addicted to it, and you never want to put your clothes back on again. We gone to a couple of the family friendly ones. And at first we were really nervous about being naked around kids because we don't have kids. We're not, you know, familiar like that.
00:11:49:02 - 00:12:07:04
Casey
Just sounds inappropriate, right. But it's really not because it's not a sexual environment like, you know, no one notices it. And then we also go to adults only ones, you know, it's all over the board, but it really like I can't stress enough how not sexual it is. Yes. And people always wear oh well what if the guy gets an erection.
00:12:07:06 - 00:12:22:03
Casey
They don't because nothing like it's just, it's so hard to explain why they don't, but they just don't. It's not creepy. It's not weird. Everybody's respectful and it's just, you know, a way of life to them.
00:12:22:08 - 00:12:35:17
Luna
Yeah. Well, in a culture where we have so many nudity taboos that are so silly, I think it is hard for many people to imagine. But it's like, actually, yeah, good boundaries come in all levels of clothing, you know, and it's just sort of like getting used to it.
00:12:35:18 - 00:12:45:13
Casey
Well, and it's funny that you said society about nudity, because we have friends that are more shocked that we're nudists than we're swingers.
00:12:45:15 - 00:12:46:15
Luna
Really?
00:12:46:17 - 00:13:04:03
Casey
Yeah. They're like, oh, that's like kind of cool, wherever that makes sense. And the like, wait, nude? You walk around like a campground naked. How could you do that? And we're like, that's kind of backwards, don't you think? But that's how afraid everybody is of a naked body. They'd rather you have sex than just stand there naked.
00:13:04:05 - 00:13:30:06
Luna
I get it, I mean, crazy, I love people and also, you know, I've helped many people as a photographer get comfy in their skin at all levels, right? Like I love striptease is doing them myself and also facilitating them for other people. And I know that that baring of one's self can be a big fucking deal. Here's a question I imagine that you're not creating content everywhere you go, since you're in spaces where, like at the bookstore, it's not necessarily conducive to that.
00:13:30:06 - 00:13:32:04
Luna
You can't get everyone to, like, sign releases.
00:13:32:06 - 00:13:36:21
Casey
We did that one time at adult theater, but we had to like, call management, right?
00:13:36:23 - 00:13:38:14
Luna
It's a big deal to do it. Production.
00:13:38:14 - 00:13:58:10
Casey
We did it once for my 41st birthday, which was this past February. So we filmed this like a 45 minute video on my OnlyFans from that. And then it was amazing. It was so much fun to film. But then me and my husband were like, it's a lot of work. It takes away from the fun and then you also get less people that want to play because they don't want to sign the paper, which I totally get.
00:13:58:11 - 00:14:03:16
Casey
You did it once and we did it. And now whenever we go, it's just for fun and we don't film anything.
00:14:03:16 - 00:14:17:02
Luna
I love it, okay, that's what I wanted to highlight. I was like, I love that you guys love to just still go out and fuck. And it's not all about work and creating content and all of that, you know? Because it's funny, in my own life, sometimes I'm like, oh shit, what should I be filming? Should I write about that?
00:14:17:02 - 00:14:26:13
Luna
No, no, no, I'm just supposed to have fun. And then sometimes, yeah, I can feel always about it, right? And then I'm like, oh, I want to make more stuff. But I'm like, oh, I also just want to do all the stuff.
00:14:26:17 - 00:14:45:06
Casey
And that was one of the biggest struggles that me and Jason had in the whole OnlyFans process was deciding, what do we film? What do we not film? Because in the beginning, when you first get it, you have all this stress and this anxiety like, oh my God, we need content, content, content. So you start from feeling nothing ever to filming everything.
00:14:45:07 - 00:15:04:12
Casey
And it didn't really take as much of a toll on me, but it took a toll on my husband where it was starting to affect our private sex life. It was wearing him out. And it's stressful because now you're whenever you're filming something, even though we don't script stuff and it's raw footage and like home videos, you're still aware that through the camera.
00:15:04:18 - 00:15:31:00
Casey
So especially for him, he was always worried about angles and lighting. And I'm like, dude, just have sex with me. And he's like, well, if you're filming it, it needs to look good too. So we would always have this back and forth. You know, it's a real thing, though, for couples, especially if you're in home videos and we're not, you know, making these porn shoots when they're filming you and your own partner privately, it gets really complicated to not worry about stuff like that.
00:15:31:02 - 00:15:55:11
Casey
If he's filming me with somebody else, it's a lot easier. Yeah, but even that than some of our dates were just felt like business now. So we film, I don't know, maybe 75% of the time. Okay. And then 25% of the time we don't. Because then you also lose the spontaneity, right? If I walk by him and I want to suck his cock, but then we have to get the camera first, it's like, right, you know, not so exciting for him anymore.
00:15:55:12 - 00:16:15:22
Casey
But we definitely had that struggle. And I don't think people realize that part until you're actually doing this for your job, you know? Absolutely. It will to really like cause a rift between us. And we sat down and we said, okay, like, I don't want my OnlyFans to ruin our marriage. So how do we make this work? And now it's been a lot better.
00:16:16:00 - 00:16:41:23
Casey
But there are moments where we have this crazy sex and he's like, we should have filmed it. I'm like, it's okay that we didn't because we're going to have crazy sex again another day. You know, you have to think like that because our page is not like, I like having it. It's super fun. I'm an exhibitionist. I love putting content out there, but we are not quote unquote like creating content just to create for the sake of creating it.
00:16:41:23 - 00:17:06:08
Casey
You know, we don't collaborate with other people or anything. You're just watching our life unfold. So whatever you sometimes like, we don't film a date with somebody else, but we'll film our sex the day after. Sometimes we of, you know, we mix it up. It's kind of a little bit of everything, but if you get so obsessed with making content, it just, I don't know, it takes the fun out of it sometimes.
00:17:06:08 - 00:17:31:12
Casey
And that's why I haven't gone the professional porn route. We talked about it a lot, and it sounds so cool and exciting, and he would love nothing more than to see my name like highlighted on a major porn video set or whatever, but I'm afraid that it's going to be like work and not fun with all the stop and go and, you know, just being on the set.
00:17:31:12 - 00:17:37:04
Casey
I know someone else that did a professional shoot, and it was like a 20 minute video, took like eight hours to film.
00:17:37:09 - 00:17:38:16
Luna
You're like, just let me fuck.
00:17:38:16 - 00:18:03:19
Casey
Yeah. So I think for me, making my own content is the better deal. Yeah, I think I enjoy it more. I like having the creative control over it. I like deciding what I want to wear, what position I want to be in. You know what toys I want to play with that minute. I'm afraid that if I sign a piece of paper, then do you lose a little bit of, you know, your decision making?
00:18:03:19 - 00:18:18:22
Casey
And what if I agree to do something? But then that day I decide I don't feel like doing it. You know, I feel like it puts so much pressure on stuff. Yeah. So, you know, that's to be determined later on in life. But for right now I like having full control of what we do.
00:18:19:00 - 00:18:28:18
Luna
Yeah. Also yeah it's never too late. And it's such a good point to. Right. It's like, oh that sex was so hot. We should have filmed it. But that should is like, well then it would have been a completely different thing, right. You know.
00:18:28:18 - 00:18:33:15
Casey
Exactly. And that's where we had to start, you know, juggling and deciding.
00:18:33:17 - 00:18:37:03
Luna
Yeah. It sounds like you do a really good intuitive job of choosing.
00:18:37:05 - 00:18:53:13
Casey
Well, we've been doing this for over a year now. So for the first six months it was really rocky. We did a whole episode on our podcast about this, because I think people have this idea that only fans are just so easy. It's all fun, you know? But that's how they think about everything in life, right? They you feel like you can make money.
00:18:53:13 - 00:19:14:07
Casey
This is going to be easy, but is not that easy. It's fucking it's 24 seven like job like all the back end stuff that you have to do. You have to be available all the time to answer messages and stuff. You know, you have to edit everything and people don't see that part. So you see like, oh, a hot video, you know, like I could do that for sure.
00:19:14:09 - 00:19:26:17
Casey
That's what you need, that know that you do it. And I think that's the part that if you actually love it, it shows you the content, if you're just doing it to make a paycheck. I think that also shows through the content. Totally.
00:19:26:19 - 00:19:44:01
Luna
Absolutely. Yeah, I definitely feel like I fall a little too hard on the side of like, artists to go with the flow. And I have these, you know, ebbs and flow of consistency. But that's also because I'm doing like so many different Hauraki explorations and OnlyFans got all the attention in September. We might circle back in January, February.
00:19:44:01 - 00:19:44:19
Luna
We'll see.
00:19:44:21 - 00:19:47:08
Casey
I post every day something on my only fan.
00:19:47:08 - 00:19:48:02
Luna
Amazing.
00:19:48:04 - 00:19:58:15
Casey
So yeah, that's the big commitment right there. I don't know why, I just I'm just scheduling it. But once I decided that, I was like, I'm not gonna undo that. So I overcommitted and now I'm stuck with it.
00:19:58:15 - 00:20:12:00
Luna
So but it's beautiful for your fans because they know what to expect. That's awesome. You know? And I need to just, like, sit down at my computer and schedule, schedule schedules. But but I also want everything to like, feel good and then I get, you know, distracted by fucking.
00:20:12:02 - 00:20:27:22
Casey
My view is if somebody signs up today, I want there to be something posted that day. I don't want them to be like, oh, she hasn't posted anything in five days. Like, I always want there to be something for that new person. So that's what motivates me, even if it's just a photo. It's something, you know? Yeah, yeah.
00:20:27:23 - 00:20:30:06
Casey
So I want everybody to stay engaged.
00:20:30:10 - 00:20:48:11
Luna
Now that's a wise business decision as a photographer, as an erotic photographer, I have had to explain to many partners, you know her like, yeah, take pictures of us while we're fucking. And I'm like, it's a different part of my brain. Like, I it all turns me on, but it's a different level of turn on. And I have to set up Abcdefg.
00:20:48:13 - 00:21:11:05
Luna
And you let me. You need to let me do my thing, and then I'll get sexy. But then I'm also going to not check stuff because my brain will, like, pop in and out of you know, like once I start getting touched on like a level of love, but also then I can look at a camera like, oh, and I'll stare at it and I'll like, so I can like hyper focus and switch back and forth in a way that is not very sexy to most people to participate in.
00:21:11:05 - 00:21:26:14
Luna
But I'm like, no, no, no. I want it to feel hot and look hot and I can do both, and you just have to switch with me. And very few people find joy in that level. I've found one partner who can like, hang and will just like basically pause while I do that. But I feel like you probably get it.
00:21:26:16 - 00:21:48:01
Casey
That's so funny because when we first started in like the early months, you know, we'd be having sex or whatever, and then I'd watch the video and you just see my husband staring directly into the camera the whole time, like not even blinking. Nobody is going to watch. I get turned on by that. What are you doing? He's he's making sure I go, okay, but you have to, like, swivel your head like that.
00:21:48:03 - 00:22:09:13
Casey
So funny that we're much better, obviously. But it is. It's like you just get so focused on it that you forget. Yeah. You know that the cameras are supposed to be in the background and also, when I first started, when I filmed solo stuff, I felt like I was a robot. And now I'm so, like loose and fun because I wasn't used to performing in front of a camera.
00:22:09:15 - 00:22:28:17
Casey
Okay, so that's an interesting in itself, just to see me get more loose. And now I'm a total goofball when I like, make videos, you know, totally myself. Oh, I love that. In the beginning. Like, hi. And you're just like, oh my God, no one wants to see this. This is horrendous. No, it's quarantine for other people.
00:22:28:17 - 00:22:47:20
Casey
It is. Everything you do is a journey for yourself and you find growth. And that's the fun part of it. Even me and Jason, we've bonded over certain videos that we've made and stuff like that. I love it. So that's the exciting part, is that even though other people are getting turned on by the content, like, so are we, we're getting closer.
00:22:47:20 - 00:23:01:01
Casey
We're working through stuff, we're trying new things together because I always want to make videos that are not like the last ten video. So I'm like, hey, let's try this, let's get that, let's do this properly, you know? So it keeps our sex life a little fresher too, which is kind of fun.
00:23:01:01 - 00:23:02:00
Luna
That's so fun.
00:23:02:04 - 00:23:20:13
Casey
But yeah, everything you do, you are always growing as a person and evolving and learning something about yourself. And that's like the beauty of OnlyFans for me, is that you're in control of it. But also I get to come out of my shell in a way that I normally don't because I am on the more introverted side. Yeah.
00:23:20:13 - 00:23:44:06
Casey
So it's been cool for me to like, came with all these people and get to know them on my site. And I feel like I am super bubbly and friendly via cam. Whereas if you met me in a crowded bar, I might not be this open and, you know, chatty with you totally because it's a little more of a private dynamic going on that works better for me.
00:23:44:08 - 00:24:01:05
Luna
I really feel that, and I feel like I have to know what mode to be in. And, you know, one of the funny things about living in Los Angeles, because it's a big town, but it's a small town, especially when you get into certain communities. And I realized because I've been going to more comedy shows lately, and I'm like having this anxiety when I'm out and I'm like, why?
00:24:01:05 - 00:24:19:12
Luna
And it's because when I get recognized out in public as like, people know me as a photographer or from auditions or we had class together or that. And I'm always afraid that I'm not going to know where they're from, and I'm going to be in the wrong mode, and I'll be too sexy or not sexy, you know? And then I'm like, that's so stupid.
00:24:19:12 - 00:24:45:13
Luna
I'm the same person. It doesn't matter. But I but I realized that I'm like, oh, I really like knowing the context. And so having that private space where it's all set up, I can totally relate to. And also I feel like I am just like your husband in some way. So in September I did a 30 day masturbation meditation exploration of edging, so I didn't let myself come by my own hands all month long, and I was doing 6 to 9 minutes of edging every day in a different way.
00:24:45:13 - 00:25:04:20
Luna
So first I was like touching my pussy in a different way. And then I was using different toys and different things and, you know, attempting to do an outloud meditation on various subjects and set it up. So I had a little like, bubble focused on my head, you know, with the one camera. And then the main phone camera would be like on my pussy getting a close up until I could watch it on the screen.
00:25:04:22 - 00:25:24:06
Luna
And then I would just get totally distracted watching myself or filming stuff or like once I started getting turned on, I was like, words and then some. At some point, people started reflecting, wow, it's so cool that you're just like, talking the whole time. And I was like, oh my God, do people not talk? Because I'm just basically like stream of consciousness thing the whole time and like describing feelings.
00:25:24:06 - 00:25:35:21
Luna
And that's when I was like, oh, I get to pick, I get to pick. However I want to do it, you know, and, and it's really fun. So maybe I'll do it in January, but I'll allow myself to come every day, 30 days of comes, I don't know, we'll see. We'll see.
00:25:35:23 - 00:25:53:22
Casey
Okay. And we've also discovered that my husband, when we're filming together, like just the two of us, he gets way more turned on watching us on the screen than like watching us in real life. And the other reason he was on the screen, he feels like he's watching actual porn.
00:25:54:00 - 00:25:59:16
Luna
But he's in it right now. That's hot. Oh, I have not yet.
00:25:59:18 - 00:26:12:12
Casey
You know, after we make it, he has no interest in the final product. But wow, he's just like, oh my God, we put it on the sometimes we can hook up the camera to like the 50 inch screen TV. So he could go like it's crazy.
00:26:12:14 - 00:26:15:13
Luna
Oh that's. So wait, so do you have to do all the editing?
00:26:15:13 - 00:26:17:14
Casey
Then I do all the editing.
00:26:17:14 - 00:26:21:02
Luna
Okay, okay. Oh, that's so interesting.
00:26:21:04 - 00:26:26:13
Casey
And he is just my, you know, assistant that doesn't get paid. So I do. Yeah.
00:26:26:13 - 00:26:38:05
Luna
So you're cameraman muse human dildo. Okay. That's amazing. So tell us a little bit about the work you've been doing. Like the podcast. Like what? You sound so busy.
00:26:38:07 - 00:26:50:07
Casey
I am very busy. It's like you're busy. So why not add one more project so that you can just be completely pressed all the time, right? I'm sure you understand nothing. Well, I have any free time for yourself. I don't know.
00:26:50:13 - 00:26:56:14
Luna
What's also interesting. I'm just like, I just need more time to rest. But also I want to do everything. I really get it.
00:26:56:14 - 00:27:04:22
Casey
Yeah, exactly. So we actually went to exotica this year, which is the big adult Expo. We went to the one in new Jersey because we live in.
00:27:04:22 - 00:27:05:18
Luna
Jersey next.
00:27:05:19 - 00:27:25:17
Casey
And I did a couple of seminars there, did three different seminars, and we had a booth because we have some fun merchandise and stuff like that. So we met a ton of people. It was a great experience, but that was an exhausting three days. It was so overwhelming. And then we ended up launching the podcast. Episode 17 just came out.
00:27:25:17 - 00:27:45:11
Casey
So it's fairly new. And that started because I've been on so many other people's podcast. I think I've been on like 30 people's podcasts by now, and some of you like multiple times. And the feedback was just like from people constantly saying, you should have your own show, you should have your own show. And I said, well, I don't want to be a podcast host, and then I'm a podcast host.
00:27:45:11 - 00:28:06:00
Casey
And of course, you know, that's how it works. And it originally started where I was going to. Oh, because other people kept asking me for audio books, like audio versions of my books. And I wasn't really into that. So I said, okay, let me do a podcast and maybe I'll, based on the books, like each episode would be a chapter of the book.
00:28:06:02 - 00:28:24:22
Casey
Yeah. And then Uber awkward. So I sounded like a robot. You know, I kept recording the same episode over and over, and I'm like, I can't do this. So then I had a little time out and reformatted the show, and now my husband is my co-host, so he has to do that with me now.
00:28:25:00 - 00:28:25:12
Luna
I love that.
00:28:25:15 - 00:28:46:10
Casey
She absolutely does. You know, and we basically just pick a different topic every week and we talk about it. It can be something general. So we did an episode about like being nudists or an episode about, you know, threesomes with you guys, or it could be a story about his past or my past or something about us together.
00:28:46:12 - 00:29:13:07
Casey
So we always try to have, like I said, a topic and kind of a lesson or a reason for telling the stories that we tell. I thought originally it was just going to be this, like really graphic sexual, like just telling every dirty thing we've ever done. But it kind of morphed into telling dirty stories. But having education and information surrounding it, like, why did we do this?
00:29:13:07 - 00:29:16:12
Casey
What do we learn from it? What mistakes did we make from this?
00:29:16:12 - 00:29:17:03
Luna
I love that.
00:29:17:06 - 00:29:48:23
Casey
Yeah, I didn't expect that. But that's just naturally how my comfort progressed because I am on this education side of it now. But even with my books, that's what they're based on, is giving people an understanding about the realities of being in this world. And yes, it is super fun and sexy and hot, but you also have to be careful of your emotions, your mental health, you know, the relationships you have with people, understanding why you're doing things, the causes and the effects of certain things.
00:29:49:01 - 00:30:07:03
Casey
So I always like to do, you know, 100% of the story, not just the dirty parts. Yeah. And we've been getting good feedback so far. It's been pretty fun. And even with that, you know, the first episode to now, the quality of the recording has gotten better because I do all the editing. I do everything, you know? Yeah, yeah.
00:30:07:03 - 00:30:30:01
Casey
So it's a lot of work, but I think it's been really fun and I like that he's on it with me. We have good energy together, but also you get a female's opinion, guys opinion and then a couple's opinion together. So we're very well-rounded because we have all of this experience in the lifestyle together. Yeah. So sometimes we disagree on stuff.
00:30:30:03 - 00:30:54:12
Casey
You know sometimes we agree. And what's really been the most interesting part of it is, he's finding out a lot of stuff about me that he didn't know because they showed it to both of us. But it's mostly me because I have a longer history. I am the driving force behind it. He's just there to, like, keep it comfortable and, you know, add some jokes and some knowledge sometimes.
00:30:54:12 - 00:31:20:06
Casey
But when you have a partner, right, you talk about your history together. We don't have secrets. We don't lie to each other. But unless there's a reason you're not going to go into deep, deep detail about every experience you've had in your sex life with your partner, like there's just no need for it. But now that we have the podcast and we're really like analyzing stuff, we're both telling each other stories that we're like, wow, you never told me that or I didn't understand why you felt like that about something.
00:31:20:11 - 00:31:27:15
Casey
So again, we're educating other people, but we're also learning about each other in the process, which neither of us expected for that to happen.
00:31:27:18 - 00:31:29:00
Luna
That's all cool.
00:31:29:06 - 00:31:49:06
Casey
And there's some episodes where I was talking about traumatic relationships I've had in the past, or points where I had really low self-esteem and I'm like, ready to cry while recording the episode. And he's like, oh my God, are you okay? You know, so you have like, real emotions happening sometimes. Yeah. And, you know, nobody really wants to dissect their past.
00:31:49:10 - 00:32:13:21
Casey
You kind of have to talk about your past to explain why you are the way you are today. Right? So it's been bringing up some, like, not so fun memories. And then it's bringing up a lot of hot memories. So it's very real and very raw. And again, I think that's why people respond to it. Because we're not just giving this like fluffy piece of like, oh, the lifestyle's gracious sex all the time, whenever you want, you know.
00:32:13:23 - 00:32:17:16
Luna
Three steps to the hottest hot wife thing. Yeah.
00:32:17:18 - 00:32:21:18
Casey
I feel that. Yeah. You know, so that's how that ended up. Like that.
00:32:21:20 - 00:32:42:23
Luna
That's so beautiful that you are, first of all, willing to be that level of vulnerable with one another and then to share it, you know, and to have this kind of creative project come together. Because how many couples, even I would like to hear from the audience, how many couples sit down once a week, once a month, to talk for an hour or two about each other?
00:32:42:23 - 00:33:06:06
Luna
You know, I was having this conversation with a date recently. Like Minecraft, we love getting vulnerable. We connect via talking and it sounds like we both have compatible touch things, but we haven't gotten to that point. And it was like, yeah, even when you're getting to know someone, maybe you share the deep things or formative things once early on without a lot of context for the person, and then suddenly you're just like, start living life next to each other.
00:33:06:06 - 00:33:20:06
Luna
And, you know, and I hear from so many people where they feel disconnected from their partner. And I'm like, well, do you talk regularly? And they're like, well, you know, day to day stuff. And we do our schedules and we go to dinner and I'm like, but do you talk about each other or do you ask each other questions?
00:33:20:06 - 00:33:26:19
Luna
And many people, the answer is no one. And that changes. So it sounds like you have really shown a really cool container for that.
00:33:26:21 - 00:33:54:08
Casey
Yeah. Or if you're just telling your partner like, oh, I dated so-and-so for a few years. College, right? End of story. Now you're telling him, like, all the sex you had with that person and, you know, all of these other things in detail that aren't really necessary for them to know. But now we're unpacking all of that. So there are some episodes where at the end, like, one of us needs a hug or we need like a minute to like, you know, and then some of them are just super crazy.
00:33:54:08 - 00:33:59:02
Casey
And he's hard the entire time we're talking, you know, like it's just a bunch of different emotions going on.
00:33:59:06 - 00:34:05:18
Luna
Damn. You know, it's like fucked right after I'm filmed it was all over the topic.
00:34:05:20 - 00:34:26:00
Casey
I mean, like, you never know. And sometimes an episode starts super hot, and then it takes a turn to, like, you know, be really serious. All of a sudden. Sometimes they go from serious hot, sometimes it's all one. But you really never know because there are two of us. Even though I have a plan for the episode, I have like a basic outline.
00:34:26:02 - 00:34:46:07
Casey
He has no idea what's happening, so sometimes he'll question. That leads me into like a completely different track. And then, you know, we get off topic and stumble on to something else. So I think that's the interesting part about having both of us is that it is very spontaneous and real. You know, I've asked him like, oh, do you want to know what we're talking about?
00:34:46:07 - 00:35:02:23
Casey
He's like, no, just wing it. Like, let me figure it out as we go. So you really get like authentic reactions like if he laughs at something like, that's a real laugh. Or, you know, if he has a negative comment about something. Like I said, we don't agree on everything that we talk about. Like, that's just a fact.
00:35:03:00 - 00:35:05:07
Luna
That's humans. Yeah. You're humans.
00:35:05:09 - 00:35:21:17
Casey
Yeah. We're allowed to see like and sometimes like I tell a story about someone that he knows my story is good, but he's had negative experiences with that person. So he doesn't want to hear that story. But he has to like. And it goes both ways. So sometimes you're just like, oh my God, why are we doing this to ourselves?
00:35:21:19 - 00:35:25:08
Casey
But then you're like, hopefully this is helping other people. So that's why I doing.
00:35:25:08 - 00:35:25:23
Luna
Yeah.
00:35:26:00 - 00:35:51:03
Casey
You know, but nothing creative like this and honest is ever easy. That's what makes it so powerful. I think that's what's going to help people, is showing that you don't have to be perfect, but you can work through your shit together and it's okay to have bad days together. You know, it's not the end of the world, but as long as you have good communication and support and trust in that love, like it will be okay in the end.
00:35:51:03 - 00:35:53:00
Casey
But you have to put in the work.
00:35:53:02 - 00:36:06:11
Luna
That's fucking beautiful. And there is no actual growth without some struggle, right? Like friction is kind of what gets us to that next little, little bit. What else are your hopes for your sexual future? What else is bubbling right now that we need to know about?
00:36:06:12 - 00:36:12:18
Casey
We've been married for two years now, and we just started telling our families that we're married because they didn't know we got married.
00:36:12:20 - 00:36:15:07
Luna
How has that been?
00:36:15:09 - 00:36:32:04
Casey
Okay. So we got just secretly got married two years ago, and I didn't want a wedding. I didn't want drama. I don't want people's, like, opinions and nonsense. I just want to get married in peace. Yeah. Now it's been two years and we're like, fine. Like no one should care if we tell them now. But then, of course, you tell one person to like, you have to tell this person, you have to tell that person.
00:36:32:04 - 00:36:48:15
Casey
And me and Jason are just like, oh my God, this is why we didn't tell anybody. We just wanted to be left alone. So everyone's really happy for us. But like, we don't want all of the messages from people, you know, like we just want it to, like, be said and done, like, it's been two years. We're good.
00:36:48:17 - 00:36:55:23
Casey
You know, we've moved on from the excitement of not having a wedding. It's weird that people know now, like, I don't know why.
00:36:56:00 - 00:37:03:11
Luna
Yeah, yeah. Does your family know what you do and your face out now? Is that a thing for you? Like how? What about that part of it?
00:37:03:12 - 00:37:20:18
Casey
Oh, okay. So my face has been public for a while, and even Jason is on social media now. Like, I've started putting his face everywhere. After we went to exotica, we were kind of like, there's no more privacy at this point. You know, we thought people were going to find out. No one has approached us. No one has blessed us.
00:37:20:20 - 00:37:40:11
Casey
But I mean, no one in our like, family is probably on Twitter. And, you know, like, right, right. Our parents were older, so they're probably safe. We don't have kids, but no family or friends or anything has anything to us. The awkward part for me is that I do this full time now. My parents always like, oh, what are you going to do for work?
00:37:40:11 - 00:37:52:04
Casey
And I'm like, oh, I'm just taking a few months off, you know, like, I'll figure something out. That's the hard part is that they think I'm just like some bum sitting at home all the time. But I'm working.
00:37:52:06 - 00:37:57:10
Casey
So that's when me and James that are trying to figure out, like, what? I have to say something at some.
00:37:57:10 - 00:38:06:10
Luna
Freelance marketing, you're literally doing freelance marketing. I've started doing some creative work. Oh, I started this podcast, you know, helping someone with a podcast.
00:38:06:16 - 00:38:26:02
Casey
They'll be like, oh, what's the name and the like? Endeavor strangers. What's that? You know, so, you know, but I can't keep hiding it forever. I think my mom would be okay ish. I don't think she would freak out much, but my dad's super conservative, so. And if your dad. Right, there's always a gender thing where, you know, daddy's little girl.
00:38:26:02 - 00:38:41:04
Casey
You know, like, my mom knows we have a sex room in the house, so I don't think she would be too, like, horrified. But I'm still trying to think of, like, what to come up with to say, because at some point I need to have, you know. Yeah, a plausible. And I'll begin.
00:38:41:06 - 00:39:02:18
Luna
I think that's the weird. I mean, I will say erotic photography gets me far, like I am doing erotic photography also, it's just on top of this podcast and all of my Hauraki explorations. But that's, you know, I'm like, oh yeah, I still do photography. And, you know, even at Thanksgiving recently, I told my it was just my parents and uncle and they're like, are you still shooting pictures of people?
00:39:02:18 - 00:39:20:12
Luna
And I was like, yeah, but it's you know, it's a little bit different there. Like, how so? And I was like, well, it's more high end erotic photography. And I also work with, you know, a lot of adult performers and then people who just want help, you know, private clients who just want to, like, have their own sex tape or like, people who are performers.
00:39:20:13 - 00:39:42:19
Luna
And my aunt was like, oh, honey, we should sign up. And I was like, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Family's not invited. She was she was just teasing. But she was like, oh, you know. So it was it was very funny. Which like for context, they are not wildly liberal people. Right. But the more open that I have become and in kind of like a, you know, I'm not like out loud about it.
00:39:42:19 - 00:39:52:11
Luna
I'm just like, oh yes, I'm doing this thing. And they're like, oh, and so I've been getting increasing numbers of like adult jokes in tasteful, funny ways, but it is very funny.
00:39:52:12 - 00:40:15:01
Casey
How also that's actually funny because in the beginning of this you said, like, are you ever ashamed anymore? And I said, no, but then you bring in family and family created, you know, especially parents, right? In my 40s. Totally. But you still have that fear of your parents being mortified or judging you or, you know, is my dad going to speak to me again if he finds out that I'm like, on OnlyFans?
00:40:15:03 - 00:40:19:02
Casey
You know, like it's fucked up. Like, why should it matter? I'm still the person.
00:40:19:08 - 00:40:42:14
Luna
What you said is true, though I think based on the reflections I get because, you know, my dad knows the least, but also he asks the most questions. But it's like I'm sort of like maybe I'll just tell them everything soon, you know? And because, like, my family loves me, but I've gotten advice from family members and friends that similar to what it sounds like, you've gotten where it's like your dad doesn't want to know anything sex related, like you're his daughter.
00:40:42:14 - 00:40:59:08
Luna
And I'm like, but he knows I like sex, and he also knows that I study it. I don't think he's going to be surprised. He also knows I got rejected a lot and I'm trying to figure it out. So maybe he would be happy for me. You know?
00:40:59:10 - 00:41:14:18
Casey
I don't, because on one hand it's like, hey, I actually have my own business, right? Like I incorporated my own business. Like, that's exciting. And like, wouldn't you be proud of your daughter for that? But then it's like, oh, but it's adult content. So does that erase the fact that I am successful now and I owe a.
00:41:14:18 - 00:41:40:05
Luna
Lot of my sex worker friends. Dads are like, proud in support of ways that sound, you know, sometimes they're goofy, right? But I've heard some like, really wonderful stories. So keep me posted on whatever you do. I'm curious. I'm figuring out my own version. Do you have anything else on your sexual bucket list that you like? One? I know we mentioned a couple things, but is there anything like toys or just even just like, I don't know, stuff you still want to do that you haven't done yet right now?
00:41:40:06 - 00:41:47:06
Casey
Oh my God. We always have like things that come conversation. But then when people ask us on the spot, we're always like,
00:41:47:08 - 00:42:01:18
Luna
No, it's hard. I have a hard time with that. Also, I'm so opportunistic, like you know, as much as I'm crossing off bucket list items, the hardest thing is when something I didn't know could even happen, I'm suddenly doing it like a new position where I'm like, know what is this? You know.
00:42:01:19 - 00:42:22:13
Casey
Like, usually the best experiences are like just spontaneous. And it's sometimes it's even things that were on my no list. And then in the moment you're like, well, I guess we could make an exception, you know? So yeah, it's sometimes it's hard to think off the top of my head. We were talking about something recently, but I can't remember what it is now.
00:42:22:15 - 00:42:27:13
Luna
Porn, mainstream porn. At some point maybe. I mean, it sounds like you're figuring out if you're doing that.
00:42:27:15 - 00:42:49:02
Casey
I would love to do mainstream porn, like with him, you know, or something like that. I think that would be cool for us to be in content together. My other issue with all the OnlyFans collaborating is they're all playing raw. I mean, I know they're all getting tested and stuff. Yeah, but because we are lifestyle first, I like that guys are using condoms with me.
00:42:49:06 - 00:43:09:01
Casey
Yeah, because they're not my husband. Right. Like mentally to me that makes a difference. Like he's my husband. He gets that privilege if I start shooting with other people and even though it's safe, you know, we're all tested. Just mentally. I feel like that changes our dynamic a little bit because now this person is getting a special priority.
00:43:09:03 - 00:43:18:03
Casey
And I just met him like, I don't know him. It's different. If we had a playmate and we've been friends with him for like a year, and my husband says, okay, like you don't need a condom, you earn that.
00:43:18:05 - 00:43:18:11
Luna
Yeah.
00:43:18:11 - 00:43:42:12
Casey
So I think that our lifestyle primarily interferes with what I'm interested in doing or willing to do because also because we always play together like anything I did. If I did a professional shoot, like I think mentally I would need him there to watch it so that I could get into it. And a lot of times you can't have somebody, you know, right.
00:43:42:15 - 00:43:52:23
Casey
That's our dynamic, so connected that if we can't be a stag and vixen in whatever we're doing, then I don't know if it's going to work for me, even if I'm being paid to do it.
00:43:52:23 - 00:43:57:16
Luna
That makes total sense. You can take the spark out of your creativity. You got to have it.
00:43:57:18 - 00:43:58:23
Casey
He's my muse, you know.
00:43:59:03 - 00:44:01:09
Luna
Yeah, I do, I do. I totally get it.
00:44:01:15 - 00:44:18:21
Casey
One thing that we're looking to do is to go to a hardcore, swinger friendly campground where you can. It's like an actual campground, not a resort, and you can have sex everywhere you want. We found some, like you're not near us, but that's definitely on our bucket list.
00:44:18:23 - 00:44:22:07
Luna
Fuck. You can do that. Oh, okay. Well, I can't wait. Period.
00:44:22:09 - 00:44:41:19
Casey
You go camping, even if it's, like just a nude place, we always find somewhere to sneak away and have sex in the woods. I love outdoor so, so much. Yeah, I like you. Put me as soon as I am, like, ten feet into the hiking trail. I'm just, like, soaking wet. I'm so excited. It's the craziest fucking thing.
00:44:41:21 - 00:44:54:16
Luna
That's so cool. I mean, our animal bodies want to be in nature. I'm glad you said that. I want more outdoor sex this year. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love a bed. I love good temperatures. But, like, give me some sun, give me some give out.
00:44:54:16 - 00:45:10:14
Casey
Like, oh my God, we're animals. I don't know what like in my body. Palpable. Like I don't even mean to be that turned on an instant. Jason's always like, what the fuck is wrong with you? I'm like, you know, so we always find sex outdoors somehow.
00:45:10:16 - 00:45:23:01
Luna
I love it so much. Awesome lovers. Go find everything at Casey donatello.com. Links to everything are in the description below. Casey, thank you so much for coming back and sharing your updates on sex stories.
00:45:23:07 - 00:45:25:08
Casey
Thank you for having me. It's nice to catch up with you.
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