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37 queer polyamorous gender nonconforming latinx human, they/them/he pronouns, married to partner of 13 years, artist, producer, entertainer, performer, gogo dancer, onlyfans creator, Southern California, into: feet, spit, cages, BDSM, Dominance, submission, drag

🔗 SPIKE LINKS | @spikeprinceofcats / @spikesauce7 / OF

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00;00;00;08 - 00;00;22;08

Luna

Our guest today is a 37 year old queer, polyamorous, gender non-conforming Latinx human who uses they them he pronouns and she when in drag. They've been married for a year to their partner of 13 years and are into feet, spit and Bdsm and were trained to be a dom by being a good sub, which means they lived in a cage for a year.

00;00;22;10 - 00;00;44;05

Luna

A former adult intimacy adviser and survival sex worker, training to be a submissive transformed him into the best sir, an educational sex worker. Their mission is to spread awareness, love and care, and he tries to not tell lies. An artist, producer, entertainer, performer, gogo dancer and OnlyFans creator from Southern California. Welcome, spike.

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Spike

Hello. Hello. Nice to see you and hear you. And you know, to all this. Thank you for having me.

00;00;49;27 - 00;01;04;18

Luna

Oh, I'm so excited to hear your stories. Can you start off, though? First we want to get to know you as a person. So just broadly speaking. Tell us, what do you love? What brings you joy? What makes you go woo.

00;01;04;20 - 00;01;28;21

Spike

Well, what brings me joy and makes me feel well, you know, I'm learning. I'm not sure I like people, but I love community. You know? I love bringing people together. I like, you know, I like being together and, finding that common ground of artistic expression. I love food, I like movement. Anything with wheels? Art, music.

00;01;28;23 - 00;01;29;17

Spike

Yeah.

00;01;29;19 - 00;01;36;00

Luna

I love it, I love it. What are your favorite ways to love yourself? Like, how do you woo you?

00;01;36;11 - 00;01;54;18

Spike

I'm a big bass person. I strongly believe in, like, ritualistic bass, you know, finding the right ingredients to make you feel how you want to feel or what you need to feel or what you need to change. I haven't been on my bicycle for quite some time, because I got an accident. But I will get back on wheels.

00;01;54;29 - 00;02;18;13

Spike

I love biking. I think cycling, just like the rush of the air in your in your face. And, you know, being mobile in a vehicle or airplane or train, you know, it's powered by yourself. So I don't think to myself cares a lot. I love plants, so I have a little patio garden that I tend to and sometimes don't tend to.

00;02;18;16 - 00;02;34;18

Luna

Relatable. Relatable. Okay, so I'd love to hear when you feel the most connected to other humans. And in this point in your life, what do you need or want in order to make a connection? Become physically intimate?

00;02;38;05 - 00;03;01;09

Spike

I used to think that, I would get along. I get more along with people that share my interests, but I think I have. I also have a type, you know, like friends. I share my interests with my friends. And then I think I find, the opposites in lovers, you know, so people that teach me things and I teach them things, and you learn and you kind of vicariously live through their brain.

00;03;02;23 - 00;03;18;18

Spike

Yeah. And, you know, I'm all about a moment, time, place person. So as far as, like, when it takes the next step, that could be at any moment, right? Like some like, you know, I could see someone and be like, I want to be intimate with that person. Right? Then I can have a conversation and it changes.

00;03;18;25 - 00;03;30;21

Spike

Yeah. You know, or vice versa. I'm having a conversation with someone, and then somewhere through that conversation, I decide, or I feel like, oh, I would love to get to know this person. An intimate level.

00;03;30;23 - 00;03;43;08

Luna

Yeah. Is there a specific thing that moves you towards that, or are your tastes sort of like more broad, but like, is there is there any pattern that you notice in the types of people who you're like, yeah, I want to know.

00;03;43;18 - 00;04;06;19

Spike

I think my taste runs the gamut, but I think I have a soft spot for, like, nerdy, nerdy kind of. Yeah. Like like nerds with me. And the more you know. And, you know, I just like people that nerd out in their own things and, Yeah, if you're clumsy and klutzy and weird, I love you.

00;04;06;22 - 00;04;20;22

Luna

Really? When you like clumsy people, that's so helpful for me to hear, because that's probably one of my biggest. Like, I don't really understand embarrassment, but that's maybe where it gets me, because I'm. I look graceful and then I fall over myself, especially during sex. And then I'm like, fuck, you know? But you like, we. What do you like about clumsy?

00;04;20;29 - 00;04;42;16

Spike

It it's so endearing, you know, to see someone you know, we focus as society. We focus so much on trying to present our best selves. Yeah. When people fall or break something, you really get to see them react in a situation. They turn red, they blush, you know, they they apologize or they plant cool. You know? So you get to see how someone, reacts in a high pressure situation.

00;04;43;16 - 00;04;51;26

Luna

Okay. Well, okay. I usually giggle at myself. What are you are you ever clumsy or are you pretty? Like, oh.

00;04;51;28 - 00;05;05;05

Spike

I think I knock things over. I used to get really angry and I feel like through therapy and help, I think now it's kind of funny, you know, it's like, well, this happened. Yeah, yeah. As long as it's not an entire gallon of milk, I'm fine. You know,

00;05;05;08 - 00;05;09;22

Luna

That's a very specific thing. Do you have an experience with a gallon of milk that we need to know about?

00;05;09;25 - 00;05;21;27

Spike

Yeah, I was like a child's by holding the milk gallon in a grocery store, but I was, like, kind of like, prancing around, you know, very effeminate. And I let go of that gallon and just like every. Oh, yeah.

00;05;22;00 - 00;05;22;24

Luna

Oh, shit.

00;05;22;24 - 00;05;31;25

Spike

And I remember the store making me clean it up, which I thought was very strange. So I was like, now it's like seared into my memory of yeah.

00;05;31;27 - 00;05;51;28

Luna

Wow. Oh, wow. Wow. Dude, that is they made you clean it up. That feels like some sort of punishment. I mean, it was a punishment. Wow. Moving into the realm of sexy. Sexy. What if you had to rate yourself on a sexual shame? A meter with ten being the most full of shame and zero being like, where do you fall today?

00;05;51;28 - 00;05;57;15

Luna

And how, if at all, has your Shima Coaster squiggle up and down? Over the years?

00;05;57;18 - 00;06;20;15

Spike

Oh my shame squiggle coaster has been all over the place. I was raised Catholic, so, a lot of that was just built in right from birth. You're born with a sin already attached to you. So, like, from a very early age, I always felt I had to prove myself. And prove my value and prove my worth.

00;06;20;17 - 00;06;38;21

Spike

You know, I was an altar boy, you know, I had a sexual experience in the church, you know, so it also shapes your mind to blur what's right and what's wrong. You know, our Jesus is on the cross, but he's half naked with a six pack, you know? So you're also kind of questioning yourself while you're praying.

00;06;38;26 - 00;07;03;10

Spike

And it becomes a whole, a whole psychosis in your brain, right? You're like, am I wrong for feeling this way? I have a tattoo on my right leg that says shame, and that's crossed out. So I would say I'm like about 8 or 9 or, excuse me, a 1 or 2 on the scale. Like, I've really worked hard in getting rid of my shame, but it still sneaks in here and there, you know?

00;07;03;13 - 00;07;13;24

Luna

Yeah, yeah. Was there a moment where you're like, this is something I want to work on? Or has it been a process and a result of the course of your life?

00;07;13;26 - 00;07;40;16

Spike

I think I didn't realize I had sexual hangups until I had so many partners, you know, and then when you're with different people, you get to kind of magnify their needs and your own. And I realized there was things that I would feel more shameful about afterwards. For example, like masturbation and or having sex with male presenting folks really bothered me up until my early 20s, you know, so I would feel very shameful afterwards.

00;07;41;04 - 00;07;48;19

Spike

You know, growing up, the first time I masturbated, I was like, I cried, you know, because I thought I did something very, very bad. Yeah.

00;07;48;21 - 00;08;02;09

Luna

Yeah, yeah. Before we move into details, I always want to presents health and safety. What are your health and safety practices as a polyamorous human right now?

00;08;02;11 - 00;08;28;21

Spike

Well, I'm huge on consent, I think, I work in nightlife. I work in bar culture. And most of the time I'm either in drag or in a jockstrap and society's top people to just grab what they want, you know, and to me, that's become. Yes, I'm there for your pleasure. Yes, I'm there for to be goggled and looked at, you know, legal to me and love me.

00;08;28;21 - 00;08;53;11

Spike

But I think we've kind of blur the lines of where it's right and wrong to touch somebody and or reach down their pants or penetrate them without permission. You know, like, this happens very often in our culture, in our society, in the bar scene. So consent is huge. I think it's part of my schema. As part of my conversation, I start every show or everything I host starts with please ask consent.

00;08;53;29 - 00;09;06;07

Spike

But I will often give consent right off the bat in order, I think, to take to take control of the situation. Right. I'd rather people touch me, the host, and touch my guests.

00;09;06;14 - 00;09;06;21

Luna

00;09;06;26 - 00;09;29;22

Spike

You know, and then they can ask if they can touch my guest, but I give them permission so that I feel like they feel comfortable. You give someone permission to touch you during that show. You open that safety realm, you know? So I think conversation and consent is the biggest for me. As far as safety goes, you know, if I ever do sex work, it's not in my home.

00;09;29;24 - 00;09;54;13

Spike

That is, you know, into someone's domicile. I do give my location. And, you know, I tell someone where I am, that's my safety. You know, and then if I'm doing any kind of Bdsm work, I have safety shears at my side at all times within reach. Yeah. I'm, trained in administering, overdose drugs. I'm trained in CPR.

00;09;55;05 - 00;09;56;02

Spike

Yeah.

00;09;56;04 - 00;10;16;01

Luna

Amazing. Amazing. I love and just want to highlight that, inviting people into how they can participate. That's something that has been a big shift for me in the last couple of years. Instead of telling people specifically or only what not to do, I invite them into how they can collaborate with me and or touch me depending on the scenario.

00;10;16;01 - 00;10;37;13

Luna

And I notice that's something that has also helped empower anyone who is kind of my lover or someone who, you know, maybe wants to touch. And, you know, kind of in my experience personally, it has really made it so that people are my, yeah, my colleagues, my friends, instead of like maybe trying to push past a boundary because I explicitly said, this is off the table.

00;10;37;13 - 00;10;47;12

Luna

Here's what's on the table. So I love that you do that for your guests. When you say guests, do you mean like fellow performers or people in the audience or both?

00;10;47;26 - 00;10;57;03

Spike

I, I mostly give it towards the audience, you know, I give them permission to touch me. I mean, sure, if a performer wants to grab a cup of feel, I'm not going to be angry.

00;10;57;05 - 00;11;04;13

Luna

Okay, okay, okay. But you don't want the audience to touch your other performance as what? I think.

00;11;04;15 - 00;11;07;00

Spike

With that, you know, I must cut in.

00;11;07;03 - 00;11;08;25

Luna

I love that, I love setting up those because.

00;11;08;25 - 00;11;23;13

Spike

You know, in the performance world, it's dancing. It's it's nudity, it's burlesque, it's drag. And often that involves stripping and people, you know, they associate stripping with grabbing, touching and putting money. You know, sometimes they forget the money, you.

00;11;23;13 - 00;11;49;17

Luna

Know, do they forget? Do they forget? That's very generous of you to frame it that way. Yeah. Always give strippers money, people. Okay. Any kind of sex worker show them your love. Like giving them money. I would love to hear about barriers or, like, are you on prep or anything like that? Like when we're talking, and I don't know if you want to talk about your, like, in your personal life, what do you need to feel safe.

00;11;49;17 - 00;11;59;18

Luna

Kind of like your it sounds like you have multiple partners. So how do you navigate those kinds of conversations and what do you need to play fun and safe.

00;11;59;21 - 00;12;27;09

Spike

Really happy. Because that's also part of my my speech, my schema at the beginning of any show. I'm I'm actually a community partner with the Los Angeles LGBT center. This is a program that we started together under the Shep program. And this means I carry with me a suitcase of goodies. That suitcase includes condoms, lube. If condoms and lube aren't your thing, I have little cards that tell you where to go.

00;12;27;09 - 00;12;48;24

Spike

Get tested, where to get, prep, where to get on Doxy. I also have Narcan and pamphlets on how to become Narcan trained. I have test strips for drinks. I have test strips for your party favors. And that always travels with me because I think, you know, we shouldn't shame people that use. And we shouldn't shame people who are sexually adventurous.

00;12;48;26 - 00;13;07;03

Spike

But we should do it correctly, and we should do it safely. So. Because that's why I partnered with the center in order to have those supplies at my disposal. And any point in time, they're in my trunk of my car, in my little suitcase. I take the condoms out so they don't overheat, obviously. But yes, I so I get tested every three months.

00;13;07;05 - 00;13;33;12

Spike

I am on prep, I am on Doxy. And then, you know, conversation again comes to the biggest factor when communicating with a lover. Especially if you're going to be intimate in a fluid bodily transfer way. I think we need to normalize conversations around our sexual health and our status, you know, and through that, we can, do away with the stigma on people that are positive.

00;13;33;14 - 00;13;50;10

Spike

And that's also something that I discuss very often. The word clean. Yes. Comes out in our community a lot, and that means that refers to someone being dirty. And we're not dirty. We're nasty. You know what I mean? For me, features. Yes. You know, we're we're. Yeah.

00;13;50;12 - 00;14;03;09

Luna

Yeah I love yeah, yeah I always try to if I hear someone say that, I always invite them to use the word clear or just, you know, I received a negative test. Do you have a particular language that you prefer?

00;14;03;09 - 00;14;26;12

Spike

They're, Yeah, I say positive. Negative. You know, I mean, but that also has a negative connotation, you know, I think it comes from a clean, clean bill of health, you know, but, you know, I think over the, over the years, it's become, less and less appropriate to use, you know?

00;14;26;19 - 00;14;40;21

Luna

Yeah. Yeah, totally. I think that's the most robust and awesome, like, safety I've ever talked to. Anyone with a safety suitcase before. Like a risk aware suitcase. That's pretty cool. I love that I'm.

00;14;40;21 - 00;14;41;01

Spike

A safety.

00;14;41;01 - 00;15;09;09

Luna

Again. I love that, you know, I say that. Yeah, I say I am Mrs. Safety. Like, number one, you know, I'm Mrs. Health and Safety, and I just I want to play with people. I want to play safe. Also. I just don't think I've said this on pads. So since we're here, I want to just jump on in like similarly, like with hygiene, you know, I always aim to not shame people, even if it is a little like you need to learn how to pull back your foreskin and wash like I've encountered, you know, some lovers who maybe didn't know that and I know that a lot of people kind of shame about that.

00;15;09;09 - 00;15;31;22

Luna

But I know there are certain swaths of the population who are not taught to look at their genitals at all. So, yes, we want to wash. No, we don't want to call each other names. Okay. So moving into more of your personal story, I would love to hear how you learned about sex and connection and pleasure growing up.

00;15;31;22 - 00;15;46;15

Luna

Maybe, you know, take us through your personal timeline of meaningful, intimate experiences, however, that, you know, whatever that means to you. Perhaps starting with when you first remember the concept of sex, entering your awareness.

00;15;48;08 - 00;16;13;02

Spike

Well, I think it was probably to Live Crew. Oh, me so horny. The song I loved it so much and I would sing it all the time and everybody would laugh in my family. And then I think I got little old enough to be like, oh, what am I saying? That's, you know, that's not, it's weird for little kids running around back.

00;16;13;02 - 00;16;33;04

Spike

Oh, me so horny. You know, so I got very shameful of what I was doing, and I think my mom took that tape away, so she's like, what are you listening to? But she didn't realize how explicit the tape was until she already purchased it for me. You know? So I think that was my first, like, awakening of sexual words, right?

00;16;33;06 - 00;17;08;28

Spike

Something being taboo, like, you know, then I think, finding porn in my dad's, you know, drawers and popping in the VHS and being like, whoa, what is going on here? You know, kind of expanded my brain of sexual adventure. But I did encounter some, consensual sexual situations at a very young age. So I was also kind of Tumbarumba forced into experiencing sexual things early on.

00;17;09;02 - 00;17;34;14

Spike

Right. So I think that made a mixture of making me very shameful of my body, but also as opening me up to being very free with my body now, you know, through years of therapy and exploration, I've become very sexual positive. You know, I think it's important to have a sexual, very healthy sexual appetite. I think it's very important to have a sexual, self-love appetite.

00;17;34;14 - 00;17;59;01

Spike

You know, I think so many people, shame themselves and guilt themselves into not feeling pleasure that, I mean, I don't understand how people can function. Yeah, I think I can't just come clarity, you know? Yes. You clear the body. You can, you can, you can really open up the mind, you know. So I think I was really reserved and held off after my young sexual encounters up until I hit puberty.

00;17;59;03 - 00;18;42;20

Spike

And that just involved, you know, boys and girls. And I remember telling my mom I liked boys and girls in preschool, and she said it would blow over eventually, you know, never really did for me, you know? Yeah. So I wasn't really I was it was, surprisingly, I think, a sexual kid. You know, I remember, you know, adolescence and middle school, lots of heavy petting, making out, touching, you know, other people that were my age, you know, we consensually, of course, you know, I had little boyfriends and little girlfriends, you know, and then I encountered a sexual experience in my mid teens that involved, penetration.

00;18;42;22 - 00;19;11;21

Spike

So that kind of really threw me, I became, like, asexual for a while, you know, I wore very baggy clothes and hid my body. I also gained lots of weight and then I think somewhere through high, like a beginning of high school, you know, it's it's social suicide to go to school in a giant sweater. So I paid more attention to my appearance and my style, and kind of rediscovered my sexuality.

00;19;11;24 - 00;19;36;08

Spike

You know, I was openly bisexual in high school. And I played football. I was in drama, so I was kind of a bit of a free flutter amongst the groups. So I got to have boyfriends and girlfriends and sexual encounters with consent. And it kind of slowly made me flourish into, you know, people wanting to experiment with me because they knew I was very sexually open, you know?

00;19;37;11 - 00;19;58;15

Spike

Then I went to college and kind of decided, okay, I have to closet myself. Once again, I'm starting afresh. I want to be an actor in Hollywood. And you can't be gay. You can't be bisexual. And, you know, you can only fight those urges for so long, you know, And then I fell into sex work.

00;19;58;24 - 00;20;22;26

Spike

It was survival sex work. I left home, I went to college. We were too poor to finish, so I used what was readily available to me, and that was my body. And that was just because someone commented on how young and sexy I was. And then, like, I had a sexual encounter and he gave me money afterwards, and I was like, I thought I was just sleeping with this older man.

00;20;22;28 - 00;21;00;23

Spike

But he paid me. So I was like, okay. Something clicked in my head, you know, I can do this to survive and not have to go home, you know? And I kind of slowly fell into that. I got invited to a golf club that was very industrial, and I met a group of folks that were performing, and I was very intrigued by the expression of sexuality and the movement in their bodies are half naked on stage in leather, dancing, touching people, hanging from the ceiling like it just looks so adventurous and free, I inquired, I got accepted, they knew I danced, so I started stripping.

00;21;01;06 - 00;21;31;19

Spike

At this club, specifically in Hollywood. And then that kind of led into Go-Go dancing and gay bars and, you know, you start to take people home, people take you home, you make some money, you make some friends. And that was kind of my exploration, really. Then I was approached by a madam who asked me if I would be interested in being her submissive, you know, and I said, I'm not very much a submissive by nature, but I would be interested in learning what you know.

00;21;31;22 - 00;21;49;29

Spike

So I lived in her cage for about a year. I was allowed, I would sleep in it and be there most time, but I would leave and have my own life. So I was living, in a sense, a double life. I had an apartment, I had friends that I lived with, but they didn't know that I was a submissive to a madam.

00;21;49;29 - 00;22;18;09

Spike

And then we would do sex work together. We would do shows together, we would perform together. And it was never it was never really a sexual thing. It was more of a power dynamic and a kind of a mentor mentee. We had multiple clients, ranging from scenes together and scenes alone. If there was a scene that didn't involve me, I was the submissive there to take care of her, help her, you know, work the client, pack up, go home and be safe.

00;22;19;06 - 00;22;42;19

Spike

And one day, she didn't show up, you know? And I was like, okay, madam isn't here. What's going on? So I put on, you know, a leather cap. And I was like, well, you get her spike today, you know, and I worked that day's clients and I think like three out of five stayed. And the other two were like, no, this is weird.

00;22;42;19 - 00;23;03;28

Spike

Your dude, we're I'm not I'm not gay. But I'm like, okay, these were also closeted clients because they were the ones that were also partaking in more gay things. Right? Yeah. You know, so it was funny to see shame come out because, the female was removed from the situation. Yeah. And she had a mental breakdown.

00;23;03;28 - 00;23;27;16

Spike

Had to move away. And we've never spoken again. And I picked up the clients that I had and I took over her roster. And I didn't work off and on for, like, three years. I really enjoyed it. But I also, you know, doing something for that long that involves your body becomes, number one, tiresome on you?

00;23;28;13 - 00;23;55;22

Spike

I started to lose interest in sex if it wasn't for money. And then also, like, having trouble being intimate with people because I was so numb to doing things on a regular basis, you know? And it wasn't actually until I was in a relationship. And my partner at the time wasn't really crazy about me doing sex work.

00;23;55;24 - 00;23;56;12

Luna

00;23;57;12 - 00;24;24;04

Spike

So, you know, I also think at that time I was tired and again, a little desensitized from survival sex work. I think I had my own demons to confront about that. Since then, that was 14 years ago. Plus, rewind real quick. That relationship that I left sex work for, we opened up the relationship later down the line, and I took on a lover.

00;24;24;07 - 00;24;48;17

Spike

And that lover is now my husband. But it was through that relationship that I was able to re unlock my sexual desires, my sexual freedom. My, I was able to release the guilt and shame that I had, revolving sex work. You know, my partner now, my my husband now. We've been together for 15 years. 14 years.

00;24;48;20 - 00;25;09;10

Spike

And we were friends before that. So he's known me through most of my phases. You know, he was at my 21st birthday and he didn't even know. No one knew that I did all I was doing on a sex work. This didn't come out until we started dating and becoming more and more close. You know, I unlocked all these things because I was falling for someone and I wanted them to know the true me.

00;25;09;13 - 00;25;25;29

Spike

You know, I lied so much for survival growing up. That's why I think I don't like to tell lies. Now. I'm all about all truth. No lies. I think people will take you for face value and not at all. And if you don't want me, then you don't deserve me. And or I don't deserve you. Maybe. Who knows?

00;25;26;02 - 00;25;53;27

Spike

You know? So. Yeah, I think I've unlocked that sexual freedom. And my partner, I have the freedom to. Do you know anything I want? As you know, as long as there's consent, as long as there's conversation. And as long as we don't tell lies, you know, I think, again, communication has opened up everything for me. And I've run the gamut of being sexually closeted, too now and very openly bisexual, positive person.

00;25;54;00 - 00;25;59;06

Spike

And I wear it on the sleeve because I think that's something that people need to see.

00;25;59;08 - 00;26;25;00

Luna

I think that's so beautiful. I mean, what a full what a full overview, what a life you've lived. I would love to hear your reflections on secrecy and desire, you know, and I don't know if this works into it, but maybe how that interacts with someone who is paying you to, you know, to submit to you, to have you be in charge.

00;26;28;29 - 00;26;47;11

Spike

It's interesting. Yeah. I think like you said, I went through many phases of secrecy and very much it's, I was kind of in kind of an all or nothing human being, you know, I mean they're going to wear on my sleeve and shout rooftops or I'm going to keep my mouth shut and not say a thing.

00;26;48;10 - 00;27;10;05

Spike

I think, yeah, the secrecy was because of guilt and shame. And I think the desires come through. If you have a kink or you have something that you're into, if you that you're a member, Fraser, if you have something you're repressing, it will come out. It's an if and when it's not, you know, and you know, you alive.

00;27;10;08 - 00;27;29;08

Spike

You know what I mean? It'll make you volatile. It'll make you into something you're not. You know, I think I hid behind the lens of being very butch because of survival. I grew up, I grew up in a gangster area. So walking down the street as a queer male was going to be hard. So I did the opposite.

00;27;29;08 - 00;27;49;16

Spike

I was very butch. I was very strong, very hard. And finding through the sex work you find that people want one or the other, you know what I mean? And you want to be one or the other. And I think I've reached a point in my life where I'm both, you know, you're both masculine and feminine.

00;27;49;16 - 00;27;51;09

Spike

You are feminine and strong.

00;27;51;11 - 00;28;12;27

Luna

I think the idea of, like, those gender dynamics work into dominance and submission. And, you know, regardless of what the genders of the participants actually are, I don't know, you know, I guess I'm just curious what you learned about the sexual power experiences people are seeking when they seek out a professional with that specialty?

00;28;13;00 - 00;28;38;18

Spike

I was really interested in learning and studying because of the power she exuded in public. You know, it was almost like an orb around her. You know, she would part part rooms, you know, and I wanted to know how to do that. That's what drew me, you know, and then meeting or getting to know someone you find, you strip away the hard layers, right?

00;28;38;20 - 00;29;02;04

Spike

The chains come off, the leather comes off, you see the person bare bones. You see them in a situation where they're scared. You see them in a situation where they're excited. And it wasn't so one sided. Once I started to learn, once I started to study, you know, people are so complex. They have an outward exterior, but on the inside, that strongest person is probably soft as putty on the inside, you know?

00;29;03;08 - 00;29;35;20

Spike

So watching her switch from a dominant role to a submissive role, depending on the client. But she was mostly paid for dominance. And, you know, the reason I was integrated into it is that people wanted to be submissive and or wanted to dominate a male presenting person, and that's something she could not provide, you know, and it was with the safety of having a female present that makes you feel or the client feel less like a homosexual.

00;29;35;26 - 00;30;08;15

Spike

You know, they may they feel, you know, because there's a woman present I can submit and or dominate this male in front of me because it's okay, you know, and I learned how to control that, you know, how to read people and adjust. Assimilate. Again, you're you're you're it's a survival technique, right? You shift and, I think I also learned how to read people in the sense that they want something they pay for.

00;30;08;15 - 00;30;32;18

Spike

They're asking for a certain service, but in reality, they they want something else. Right. I'll give you an example. I think, people who love impact play, you know, really want to be held, you know, they really want to be hugged. They want to be loved. But it's through the impact. They feel the connection, you know?

00;30;32;20 - 00;30;53;11

Spike

Yeah. So I hope that feels like I gave an insight of learning the roles and studying them. I believed, and I still believe that you are the best. By being the best bottom. You are the best done by being the best submissive. You know, if you want to learn your way around the kitchen, work every position in that job.

00;30;53;11 - 00;31;05;25

Spike

You know what I mean? You have to know what's up. You have to know how to push the buttons. People have to push your buttons so that you know how to react, when to react, and how to read someone you know to dance.

00;31;05;28 - 00;31;31;02

Luna

Yeah, yeah. What is your preferred role right now? Like, do you enjoy topping? Like, I'm I'm always top for work, but my origin is super duper service submissive. And also I see myself in the impact thinking like, oh my God, I need the hugs. I need all of it. You know, and so I love I only love tapping because I'm always coming from a place of deep service.

00;31;31;02 - 00;31;46;27

Luna

And truly, I am putting on patterns that were taught to me by dominant partners. You know, and I love I love providing that care. But where do you feel fed the most right now if we're looking at power exchange roles, if at all, if that's even relevant.

00;31;47;00 - 00;32;15;06

Spike

I think by nature I'm more of a Dom type. Okay. But I call my I call myself a seasonal bottom, you know, every, you know, once a season. But that's different. You know, in a previous relationship, I was more of a bottom. And, you know, I tapped on an occasion, you know, so I think I go through phases of depending on my mood, how I've dealt with my sexual, with my sexual past.

00;32;15;08 - 00;32;25;27

Spike

Yeah. So I think, you know, it just kind of waxes and wanes. I think on a daily basis, I'm more of a top. But, you know, everyone is the bottom here. And again, I'm never against it. I think it's all situational, you know. Yeah.

00;32;25;29 - 00;32;47;02

Luna

Yeah. Yeah. Totally. So we live in a society of capitalism and I have a little theory that, like, maybe everyone here has a money kink. But like I recently, a few years ago identified I like for reals have a money kink. Is that something that you identify about yourself like, doesn't operate for you, or is it just like a job that you did?

00;32;47;02 - 00;32;53;27

Luna

Like I get turned on when I get money for being in a sexual situation?

00;32;53;29 - 00;33;20;14

Spike

Yeah, I think I noticed that I was developing a kink for money when I was dancing because I was like, I'm doing this for survival, I'm being paid. But then when you're good and you built a client basis that come watch you dance, it feels really good to make money with your body, you know? And I wasn't sure if it was the intention or the money for a very long time.

00;33;20;16 - 00;33;45;23

Spike

And I think it's a bit of both. I, I fell back into sex work during the pandemic. I was doing a lot more, chat, text, video. I was even doing, like, male stuff, you know, like, yeah, snail mail, you know? Yeah. And during that, I was like, I found out that, yes, I do have a kink for money.

00;33;46;05 - 00;34;09;14

Spike

I did some, you know, some fandom stuff. So, so I was able to acquire some a couple pay pics during that lockdown, in exchange for services from afar, you know, and I think I was like, oh, wow. This is it makes you feel worthy of, you know, you get capitalism work, right? You work hard, you make money.

00;34;09;16 - 00;34;13;27

Spike

This is the same, but you're doing it with your body. So it almost feels like double worth it for me.

00;34;13;29 - 00;34;16;20

Luna

Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's a great way to like.

00;34;16;20 - 00;34;20;23

Spike

Yeah, that's I sweat, I bled and probably came for this money. Yeah.

00;34;20;23 - 00;34;41;04

Luna

That's that's. Yeah. I think it also helps me appreciate my money too. And everything that I do with that too. You know, I'm like, oh okay. I could get lost in diving down the rabbit hole of sex work, but I'd like to focus on, like, your sexual preferences. I would love to hear what is sexy to spike.

00;34;41;07 - 00;35;08;05

Spike

Sure. I again love intimacy. I think intimacy is very sex in that can range from holding hands to to just like, taps and pets, and sometimes even just stares across the room. You know, can make me, can drive me wild. But I'm also very much a physical human being, so I'll start from the bottom up. I'm obsessed with feet.

00;35;08;08 - 00;35;31;03

Spike

I don't know what it is and why, but obsessed. I want them in my face. I want my feet in people's faces. Like stomp on me, step on my face, put them in my mouth and vice versa. Salt. And it's not everybody's feet. I think it's just, you know, it's different kinds of feet. Nail polish, no nail polish.

00;35;31;06 - 00;36;08;12

Spike

High arch, no arch, wide, thin. Like, you know, run the gamut. You know, working my way. Started working my way up. I'm super into oral pleasure. I think it's really fun to lick and suck every crevice and orifice down there, regardless of gender. I think it's a special language, you know, when you're going down on someone, you know, and you're able to control them from below or control them from above, you know, I think, it's a power exchange.

00;36;08;12 - 00;36;38;07

Spike

You are taking something into yourself and or giving them some pleasure with your mouth. You know, it's like I think you're whispering, you know, like whispers. I, I'm very into, like, baring my face into bodies, you know, crotches, bodies, thighs, chests, pits. You know, so I think, all about those sensitive erogenous zones, which I think brings me to nipples.

00;36;38;10 - 00;36;45;18

Spike

My nipples are wired so I could I can climax to just nipple play. That is so.

00;36;45;18 - 00;36;50;19

Luna

Cool. I'm so jealous of those types of people. Oh, that's so cool. When did you discover that.

00;36;50;24 - 00;37;12;18

Spike

I got my nipples pierced? At a young age. And then? Then they weren't really healing, so I took them out. And then I got pierced again later in my 20s, and I realized I had gotten so sensitive, you know, and, you know, being and, you know, being with people, they rub, they hurt. So I was like, okay, well, they're not healing because they keep getting knocked and I do sex work.

00;37;12;18 - 00;37;46;14

Spike

I was dancing at the time, you know, selling sweat and all that. So I was like, they're not healing. I'm taking them out. And when I took them out, they never went soft again. And I think just like wearing my shirt to work was like rubbing against my nipples. And I was like, oh, and I, you know, I didn't mean to, but I, you know, I was aroused and I'm in public and it's my T-shirt, you know, and then I discovered from that, exploring myself and my partner, exploring that they were just now, now they were now wired to my body and you can control me at will.

00;37;46;14 - 00;37;54;02

Spike

You know, I can be completely controlled through my nipples. I'm like a little toy, you know. Oh, my.

00;37;54;02 - 00;38;01;09

Luna

God. What? What specifically do you like to have done to them? Or is it like, anything,

00;38;01;12 - 00;38;10;00

Spike

You know, light squeezing and I mean, the softest tender touch and that that simple. Simple as that. You know?

00;38;10;02 - 00;38;10;28

Luna

Wow.

00;38;11;00 - 00;38;17;20

Spike

I could get your ringing a little bell, you know, a little tug here and there, but it's all about the sensuality that drives me wild.

00;38;17;23 - 00;38;22;22

Luna

Yeah. Were you saying that it backfires, or is it like the idea of being so controlled? Like, what's the backfire?

00;38;22;22 - 00;38;37;01

Spike

Oh, no, it completely backfires. Yeah, I think you could inadvertently be aroused at any given time. Right. Or, like, you know, in our, in our culture, brothers love to give each other nipple twisters. Yeah. Like, do.

00;38;37;01 - 00;38;37;07

Luna

They.

00;38;37;08 - 00;38;44;15

Spike

Give me a nipple? Yeah. It's wild. Straight dudes love to touch each other's nipples and butts from junk. Taps my butt.

00;38;44;15 - 00;39;02;01

Luna

And that was the thing for me. Yeah. Okay. Wow. Wow. We. I've heard of this. Okay, I have heard of this because I've been, like, locker room culture. You guys all touch each other, and I've had guy friends that are like, yeah. And then I've had some. They're like, no. So I'm always like, yeah, no, no, that's not a thing.

00;39;02;03 - 00;39;09;04

Luna

Yeah. Oh, that's so funny. Wow. Okay, keep going up. Where else aren't I heard you say bury face and armpits.

00;39;09;15 - 00;39;35;11

Spike

Yeah. Pits. Pits. I think I've developed over over the course of time. I'm strangely, mostly attracted to male presenting pits. I think it's the hair. It's the. It's the smell of the body. You know what I mean? With female presenting folk, I think I tend to stay away from the pits. I don't know if it's more of an, erogenous zone or not, but I think I tend to pay more attention to other parts of the body.

00;39;35;15 - 00;39;58;00

Spike

Yeah. Next. I think next are underrated and not appreciated enough. Don't go sucking on hickeys. People leave no marks. That's very important. Do not leave marks. Marks are tacky. And very 1990s, very 1980s. Below the neck. Sure. By the way, suck away. But, the neck. You know, we don't need badges. We're not 12 anymore.

00;39;58;02 - 00;40;19;24

Spike

Not 12, but, you know, 16. Excuse me. Yeah. So. Yeah. I think necks, need to be, you know, we have so many blood vessels running through our neck. Yes. You know, kisses, caresses, licking and then blowing, you know, just changing the temperature on these, these sensitive areas. Ears. I love me some good little ear nipples.

00;40;20;24 - 00;40;34;04

Spike

And I think hair, hair is a huge turn on for me. And, you know, like, you don't have to be hairy, but I think if you have long, luscious hair, I'm going to grab it. You know what I mean? If your body's full of hair, I'm going to rub in it, you know? Yeah.

00;40;34;06 - 00;40;50;00

Luna

Oh, yeah. Oh, I love that. Also circling back to to lady armpits, I feel like first of all, I'll get distracted by a boob or a nipple if I'm in that zone. And I also feel like lady, right on the whole, tend to be more ticklish than the dude armpits. I've been then.

00;40;50;02 - 00;40;51;01

Spike

Yeah. Very true.

00;40;51;06 - 00;41;10;27

Luna

I mean, I mean, some of them are very tickly, no matter what the. But like. Yeah. Oh. That's such, that is such a good overview of things that you think are sexy. I would love to hear a little bit about solo play. Like, are you into it? Is it something that you spend time on? Like what do you enjoy with yourself?

00;41;10;27 - 00;41;13;20

Luna

How has it changed over the years, etc.?

00;41;13;22 - 00;41;17;29

Spike

I'm going to go back to the last question real quick cause I really forgot impact playing split for me.

00;41;18;01 - 00;41;18;11

Luna

Oh yeah.

00;41;18;11 - 00;41;39;25

Spike

Those are huge. Covid has changed the split, so I only do split play with established partners. I mean, besides the making out and you know, and then impact plays, I think, I think probably raised Catholic. There's that self-flagellation, you know, like punishing yourself for doing something. So every now and again I think I need my body reset by a good beating.

00;41;40;26 - 00;41;47;10

Spike

Yeah. So the play, I do some of lock. I have solo flogged. I, I practice witchcraft.

00;41;47;15 - 00;42;02;12

Luna

Slow down about solo solo flogging and give us some like what kind of flogger do you like to use on yourself? Is that different from if you are giving impact to someone else and like, yeah, what do you actually do? Like what's a solo flogging session like for you?

00;42;02;15 - 00;42;25;23

Spike

I think so the flogging for me is specifically structured around punishment and or raising my vibrations to like cast a spell, you know what I mean? So I will only sort of flog with a belt because that's what I was beat with as a child. And it raises something in me.

00;42;25;25 - 00;42;26;10

Luna

Yeah.

00;42;26;12 - 00;42;53;20

Spike

But it also excites me as an adult. It's almost like I'm reclaiming the power of being abused. Right? Once in a while, I think I need that release. I was also I also struggled with self-harm growing up and up until my mid to early mid to late 20s. And I do not self-harm now. And one way I have dealt with self-harm is impact play throughout the year, you know what I mean?

00;42;53;22 - 00;43;16;17

Spike

And then also like the, you know, within myself giving myself a little pain while I masturbate some does something to my brain so I will actively masturbate. And just like with my back while it's happening, and again, it just makes the blood rush. You almost get a little angry. I think it's probably the closest to, like, choking yourself, you know?

00;43;16;17 - 00;43;36;23

Spike

You know, people like to masturbate in a hang, and then often, sometimes people hang too far in there, hurt themselves. This is, I think, kind of like that. There's this soft infliction of naughty pain that triggers something inside. As far as casting the witchcraft, I do believe in hearing your vibrations and putting it out into the universe.

00;43;36;23 - 00;43;57;24

Spike

And sometimes, that is the fastest way to get my heart racing. It's almost like a jumping jack or a deep breath, you know? It's like, you know, you've seen in movies or in culture, people like, slap themselves. They get hyped themself up, you know? So I was with my back a couple times to get myself going, remind myself of my life, you know?

00;43;57;26 - 00;44;04;11

Luna

Yes, yes. Oh. Anything else to say about solo play right now?

00;44;04;22 - 00;44;33;26

Spike

Yeah, I, I think I love toys. I think I like exploring different toys. I think it's important. I think I've ventured back into a little bit more of a, more, more, bottom part of me with my current play partners and also like, with my toys, because I feel safe, you know, I think penetration for me on my end, when I bottom, I have to feel safe and or want to completely be degraded and or anonymous.

00;44;33;26 - 00;44;52;16

Spike

You know what I mean? I think I go through phases of needing the safety, so I need to be if I'm going to be penetrated, I need to be by someone I know and or myself. So that's where the toys come in. You know, I've found what doesn't hurt me, what doesn't, what feels good, what isn't pushing and how to work up.

00;44;52;21 - 00;45;15;08

Spike

You know, it's also helped me gauge what I can and can't realistically take when I have a partner, you know? I mean, I don't like to bottom for huge dicks, you know what I mean? Or shoot anything, I think. Yeah, it's not enjoyable. It hurts. It doesn't feel good. So finding the right partner or finding the right toy is really important, I think, trial and error.

00;45;16;00 - 00;45;36;28

Spike

I have a little hefty. You know, toy box, insert balls, toys that are fuckable, you know what I mean? I think being a sex worker and online specifically nowadays, you get lots of companies that want to send you things to try out. So I have a couple companies that send me remote, remote operated like fuck machines.

00;45;38;00 - 00;45;40;25

Spike

It's fun to just try it. There's so many new things coming out. All right.

00;45;40;25 - 00;45;41;16

Luna

Yes.

00;45;42;17 - 00;46;11;17

Spike

My bingo show that I do monthly is sponsored by Romantic Sex Shop. So they're always giving me the newest, highest tech fun gadget, you know? You know, one of my favorite toys right now is super simple. It's like it comes in in a little egg, and you take you open the little egg, and it's just like a little rubber sheet that you put over your junk and, you know, masturbate with it, and it just it's so simple, but it's easy to clean and it's just recreate that flashing feeling.

00;46;12;16 - 00;46;25;06

Luna

Those are the toys. Like I'm so curious about structures because I don't obviously have a cock. Maybe it's not obvious but I don't have one. And that's the stuff I'm like oh I just want to hear what that feels. What does it feel like? What does it feel like?

00;46;25;09 - 00;46;45;11

Spike

Yeah. I think it's it's it's like being with someone, but again, you're controlling and there's I think these toys are often rigid and they're shaped differently. So it's also something new for you to experience. So your body gets that sensation of this is taboo kind of wrong. And it feels different than being with someone else, you know.

00;46;45;14 - 00;46;51;17

Spike

Yeah. I'll find that. I will climax faster with solo play than with a partner.

00;46;51;19 - 00;46;54;04

Luna

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00;46;54;06 - 00;46;55;21

Spike

That sensitivity. Right?

00;46;55;23 - 00;47;14;19

Luna

Totally. I would love to hear a little bit more about what you enjoy in partner play with or without toys. And I would especially love to hear the relationship between, you know, your personal life and like, sex, work, play and just kind of like how you organize it in your brain today. You know?

00;47;15;01 - 00;47;35;00

Spike

Yeah, I think the sex, the sex with my partners, ranges from, you know, I think what we both like or what we, all of us involved in that moment, like, you know, my partner isn't so much into as much as I am. Right? So our sex won't really evolve so much more feet play, you know what I mean?

00;47;35;02 - 00;47;56;25

Spike

But my husband and I have built. This is Castle of Sex, right? I feel like whenever we have sex, it's magical. It becomes incredible. It's, you know, it's the intimacy. It's the years longing. It's the knowing each other's body. Right? No one knows my body like my husband, but, you know. But that won't often evolve all of my kinks, right?

00;47;56;27 - 00;48;24;09

Spike

So, you know, there's also other partners that are specifically revolved around my kink or their kink. Right. Like, I have a friend who is specifically my footprint. Right. We mostly play with each other's feet, and it's very fulfilling. Right. You know, for for both sides of that. So I think it's important to, find out your kinks, explore yourself, explore your partners, find out what works for them.

00;48;24;09 - 00;48;48;01

Spike

It might not work for you, but you can either partake or comfortably consensually find them. A play partner that is, into that. You know, I think, I think geek shaming is something that we do. I think people yuck other people's yum very often, but it's just because it sounds weird and they've never tried it. And or it comes with some sort of taboo connotations, stigma.

00;48;48;01 - 00;49;10;01

Spike

That's not true. You know? And, you know, I think the way my sexual life, you know, more of an online presence, I think more I'm more of a, you know, I make videos with people. I, I do content creation with folks. I'm all over the internet with my body, and I do live events, I think, but I'm not completely against taking more clients on in person.

00;49;10;07 - 00;49;25;05

Spike

So I think it's a day to day basis. Right. And also, a month to month basis, where I am mentally, you know, and physically. Right. In order to give myself or not give myself to someone that's not a regular partner.

00;49;25;08 - 00;49;53;19

Luna

Yeah, yeah. I'm just very curious about the difference between, you know, sex for work, whether it's content creation or more, and just, you know, how you choose partners in your regular life. Like, do you feel like, personal life partner? You know, I heard you say that you like teaching and learning from your partner, but maybe there's a difference between, like, unpaid sex work, or you have to like someone a certain amount, or how do you kind of think about that?

00;49;53;22 - 00;50;15;24

Spike

Well, first of all, I think I am a very sexually driven person. So getting all my needs met by one person, I think is probably unachievable, right? I would love sex multiple times daily. That is completely unobtainable with one human being and the two human beings that have jobs, you know what I mean? Yeah. So it's funny that you that you say that.

00;50;16;01 - 00;50;33;02

Spike

So sometimes I think my sex, my sexual exploration bleeds into my sex work and sometimes vice versa. Right? I go to someone and we are we have established we are going to film, we're going to have sex, we're going to film it, and then we're going to put it on the internet for money.

00;50;33;05 - 00;50;34;13

Luna

Yeah.

00;50;34;15 - 00;50;56;13

Spike

And what if I have fun? What if I enjoy it? You know, and sometimes those friends become lovers, you know, and sometimes you forget to film, you know, but you, you hear like, okay, I'm here, what's up? And then you, you know, you become intimate and then you're like, wait, we didn't record you take one picture, you know?

00;50;56;13 - 00;51;16;10

Spike

So I feel like the lines kind of can become blurred. Right. Okay. And then I have those friends that I'm like, we are specifically creating this content. It's fine sex, but there's no there's a connection, obviously, but we can do it. Put on a show and it'll be fine. As for sex work, you know, really, I don't really do sex work for anyone.

00;51;16;10 - 00;51;41;13

Spike

I don't choose anymore. So I think I've also eliminated putting myself in the situation where I feel threatened or I don't feel good. You know, I think learning that through to doing sex work for survival, I've learned what to say no to, because I didn't have the luxury of saying no in the past. And again, that. But that's a tricky, slippery slope to making you feel like you're nasty.

00;51;41;15 - 00;52;03;15

Spike

You're wrong. You're full of guilt. You're full of shame. And also that might ruin sex for you. I think, my sex work in my early 20s ruined bottoming for me because I had to do it so much with so many people. I didn't want to, you know what I mean? Yeah. And then it was through having a long term partner and then having multiple lovers that make you feel sexy.

00;52;03;18 - 00;52;18;05

Spike

You are like, oh, I can do this. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I've gone through a couple, you know, I have a medical history here and there, which allowed me not to bottom because it was very uncomfortable, you know, I mean, I have lots of stomach issues, and you don't want to put them on a rumbly tummy.

00;52;18;05 - 00;52;34;11

Spike

You know, when you have internal pain. So I think, yeah, that lines kind of blurred. But I've, I'm fortunate enough to in my life right now to not have to do something that I don't want to do sexually while doing sex work, you know.

00;52;34;13 - 00;52;44;10

Luna

Yeah. Yeah. You know, I do want to circle back to feet. Are you into foot jobs and if so, up. So tell us about it. Yeah. Giving, receiving. Oh, yeah.

00;52;44;12 - 00;53;03;17

Spike

Yeah. I don't know what it is about feet. I just, I but I mean, I do know, I do know it's, it's, it's taboo. It's wrong. It's, it feels, you know, it feels it feels degrading in a way. But it's also intimate in a different way. Right. If you've had your feet licked and sucked, it's ticklish.

00;53;03;22 - 00;53;17;16

Spike

It's. It sends tingles to your body. It's very sensitive. And then if you've ever had your foot, a foot in your mouth, it does something to my brain. It automatically makes me feel submissive in a non-threatening way. You know what I mean?

00;53;17;19 - 00;53;18;09

Luna

Yeah, I do.

00;53;18;09 - 00;53;38;27

Spike

So yeah, when I'm feeling. When I'm feeling submissive, I want them in my mouth. I want to suck on them. I want people to, like, step on my face within reason, obviously. You know what I mean? And that's really fun for some. I mean, fake feet and so, like, feet in my face and me playing with myself like, ooh, my favorite.

00;53;38;27 - 00;54;01;17

Spike

But there's also a twist. I love to talk with feet in my face. So tapping by inherently makes you feel more like a dumb. But feet in my face make me feel very submissive at the same time. So like, it's this weird power dynamic and combination of the power of taking someone's body but also being degraded by their feet in your face.

00;54;03;01 - 00;54;26;21

Luna

That's so fun. That's so yummy. I, I one time sat behind a partner who had a cock, and I discovered he was under feet, and I just. I've long legs and our bodies just. It works that I wrapped them around. And that was the first foot job I get. So I was like, around him, you know, and then like, not long after I met another one who was such a good foot worshiper and I like, used my abs to make them come with my feet, just like on top.

00;54;26;21 - 00;54;57;20

Luna

Like he was like laying down and I was kind of sideways, but we were like staring at it. It was so intimate for me. It's like experiencing every part of our body together. Like. Like it's like there are no like almost. It's like feet are the the beyond horizon. It's like we will go there, you know, and I love touching people's feet and waking up, you know, these aspects of our body that aren't necessarily touched a lot, you know, and like you said, with the hair, the back of the neck, bald head, you know, eyebrows, like places people don't necessarily receive attention.

00;54;57;20 - 00;55;11;13

Luna

I just love. Okay, I could obviously talk to you forever, but I want to be mindful of our time. So are there any other, like, fetishes, kinks, toys, sensations, turn ons that you just want to mention? I mean, it sounds like there's a lot sounds like we could talk for days, but.

00;55;11;18 - 00;55;12;27

Spike

That's a bit more time.

00;55;13;04 - 00;55;18;06

Luna

Like light lightning just lift us. Lightning things. Anything else that comes to mind?

00;55;18;08 - 00;55;36;18

Spike

I'm really now, I think, for my own sexual pleasure, I think I'm into the power dynamic. I think I like to be called sir. I like to be called daddy. I think I'm five, four, you know, I'm short, I'm small. So, I don't, you know, this is the way I get tall, right? I am all my partners are taller than me.

00;55;36;24 - 00;55;59;15

Spike

I have a tight. I think it's something about being short and then donning someone who's taller than you is very sexy. So I think the size difference is really big for me. And or not. You know, like I don't tend to go for smaller people. I tend to go for people that are bigger than me. And then also when I bought them, I want to feel small, you know, I want to feel dainty and cute.

00;55;59;15 - 00;56;26;28

Spike

I want, you know what I mean? I'm obsessed with leather. Vegetarian. Catholic. Vegan, if you will. I eat cheese sometimes, and then I say sorry because it hurts my tummy, but I love leather. Leather is an absolute fetish. It's it's the smell. The feel. It's very empowering to put on. So if you don't have leather, start with something small by yourself.

00;56;26;28 - 00;56;46;02

Spike

A pair of gloves, a leather belt. I have, it's it's, leather feels very different on the flesh. I like to be touched by leather, but I don't like to touch with leather gloves because I like to feel the body in my hand. Yes. You know, but when I die, I wear wear leather gloves. Yeah.

00;56;46;02 - 00;56;54;02

Spike

There's that separation. That reminds me to keep my keep myself where I need to be. Yeah.

00;56;54;05 - 00;56;56;00

Luna

Yeah.

00;56;56;02 - 00;57;22;17

Spike

And I take the gloves, the. When the gloves come off, you know? You know, it's real, you know, And shoes, I don't know, I think it's from my my dad and his dad, were put blacks first survival when they were kids. You know, they lived in Mexico, so they were always doing people's boots. So from a young age, I was taught boot care, almost in a very military away.

00;57;22;18 - 00;57;37;18

Spike

You know, we had our little kit, our little bag. And, you know, when I was young, I'd be like, oh, the uncles would come over and I'd be like, doing everybody's boots, and it would bring me pleasure. It was it was wild. And I didn't know if it was because I was young and needed to fulfill a purpose.

00;57;37;20 - 00;57;56;19

Spike

But as I got older, I realized the care that goes into a boot really turns me on. And if someone has really nice clean boots, I'm like, I want to rub my dick on them. And if someone has really ugly, fucked up boots, I just want to like, polish them and bring them to life while touching them just to yeah, I don't know.

00;57;56;19 - 00;58;11;18

Spike

It's almost like breathing life into a shoe. And then I know there's a foot inside, right? So it just becomes this whole like, fantasy in my head of reviving someone's soul, you know? No pun intended.

00;58;11;23 - 00;58;21;15

Luna

Yes. But internally, I love that it didn't come up in our conversation. I don't know if it fits into your sex life, but what about drag? Just real quick before we wrap up.

00;58;21;18 - 00;58;41;23

Spike

Oh yeah, I am a drag queen. I do drag a lot. I try to keep that very different for my sex life. And sex work for me. Dressing and drag does not give me pleasure. I think wearing dresses doesn't give me pleasure. It makes me feel good, but it doesn't turn me on. I think it is not a sexual kick of mine.

00;58;42;04 - 00;58;58;15

Spike

I do love the attention I get from straight men when I'm in drag. It's, like, baffling how many straight men are like, you're gorgeous. I'm like, I'm a drag queen. And they know that. I think it's just something that they're able to be free with. But it turns me on, you know? I don't want to. I'm so.

00;58;58;22 - 00;59;12;13

Spike

It's very uncomfortable. I'm wearing lots of tights. I'm in heels. I'm. I'm probably wearing fake boobs and a wig. Like, I don't feel very cute. I look cute on the outside, but I don't mind. You couldn't touch me if you try it. I have so many layers on.

00;59;12;19 - 00;59;37;18

Luna

Yeah, that that encapsulates how I feel about like, yes, I'll dress up and get pretty and do the whole girl thing to go, but like, I would rather be naked, you know, like I would just always rather be naked if it's warm enough. So I that's well-put well shared. What, if any, are your sexual hopes for the future and or just adventure?

00;59;37;18 - 00;59;45;12

Luna

Bucket list doesn't have to be related to sex, but like, is there anything on your horizons that you haven't explored that you're curious about or drawn to?

00;59;45;14 - 01;00;08;10

Spike

You know, I'm always open to to try new things. I think that's the important thing about being a sexual positive creature and a creature in general. When you get this life, you only live once, twice, if you're lucky, right? So live it, experience it. Have to have sex. Do it in 90 places, you know, I think that's fun.

01;00;08;10 - 01;00;39;07

Spike

So, yeah, I'm always open to more. More kinks, more things. There. I'm sure there's something I haven't tried out there, you know? I mean, and, you know, my partner and I will always, you know, always welcome more, more, more, more and more play partners. So I think, just furthering that, that dynamic of having a primary partner who's safe when married to who knows me, and also having the freedom to explore myself and other people together and alone as, is really special and really important to continue.

01;00;40;26 - 01;00;49;07

Spike

Yeah, I have, lots of different friends that, you know, are into different things. So I'm sure someone will turn me on to something fun and new and exciting soon enough.

01;00;49;10 - 01;01;13;14

Luna

Oh, I fucking love that. Okay. My personal mission is to create a world where taking care of each other is the norm. One ripple of love at a time. I'd love to hear. How do you think we can co-create a more connected, loving, who filled world together? And part two of this question is how do you like to spread ripples of love?

01;01;13;16 - 01;01;43;06

Spike

Wow, that's a beautiful question and so deep, I love it. I like to spread community. So I think, it's all my shows. I do a nightly bingo that promotes, drinking and having fun and eating food, and you win naughty sex toys as prizes. I encourage people to strip down and be in their underwear in a public place that's, you know, I have the drag bingo that, you know, is silly and campy and fun and different.

01;01;43;06 - 01;02;02;01

Spike

You know, I think just I like creating events that open people's minds and make them smile. You know, if I make you mad, if I make you horny, if I make you happy, I made you feel. So I think for me, is making people feel is so powerful. I think that's probably why I love sex work so much.

01;02;02;01 - 01;02;22;26

Spike

Right? I make you feel something for that moment and or give you a gift that you've never had before. You know what I mean? I'm not big headed. I don't think I have an ego, but who knows? But I think, you know, I think I'm a great lover. I think everyone should experience. Not everyone should experience sex with me.

01;02;22;26 - 01;02;49;04

Spike

But I feel like, you know, I mean, I feel like it's important to experience different sexual encounters. I think the way we can spread that is communication. I think the more we talk about taboo situations, the more normalized it becomes. You know what I mean? I still to this day have people yuck like pop play or adult babies, you know, and to each their own.

01;02;49;04 - 01;03;17;12

Spike

You don't have to like it. But if you're willing to have the dialog to hear why and when and it makes it makes people tick, you know what I mean? I think you can by just communicating with others, you can lower that, that shield of of guilting someone or shaming someone, for something that gives them pleasure, you know, you know, again, you don't have to be intimate, but be open to the idea so that you can perceive people differently.

01;03;17;19 - 01;03;48;10

Spike

You know, I think it's important, and consent. I ask somebody if you are somewhere and you want to kiss someone, walk up and ask them. You'd be surprised. I think that in our culture, we're so stuck on our phones now, the art of cruising has been almost, you know, practically lost, right? Yeah. I think there's no there used to be so much excitement of walking to the grocery store because you never know what's going to happen, you know?

01;03;48;24 - 01;04;01;18

Spike

So I think looking at people, checking people out, having that conversation and inviting someone, you know, you're not weird, you know, I mean, they'll probably think you were the first, but the fall in love with you later. Promise? Yeah.

01;04;01;21 - 01;04;22;07

Luna

Also, like, everyone's a little weird, and we have to let our weird parts out so we can fall in love with them. You know, like what you said. To be perceived to be witness, to be received. It doesn't mean you have to witness me in every moment. But that that is beautifully said. Thank you. Lovers. You can find Spike on Instagram at Spike Prince of Cat.

01;04;22;09 - 01;04;38;05

Spike

X as spikes are seven. I'm on OnlyFans as Spike Prince of Cats. I have a website that has my art, my drag, and there's a little link for, sex work and education. Spike Prince of cats.com.

01;04;38;08 - 01;04;47;11

Luna

Links are in the description below. Spike, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom of woohoo! Thank you so much for sharing your sex stories.

01;04;47;14 - 01;04;52;08

Spike

Thank you so much for having me, I appreciate it. I always remember to stay nasty.

01;04;52;12 - 01;04;54;04

Luna

Yeah, we gotta stay nasty. Love it.