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62 poly pansexual cis white female, she/her pronouns, married 30 years.

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00:00:00:03 - 00:00:13:17

Luna

And our guest today is a 62 year old, cis white, pansexual female who has been married for 30 years and is having the best sex of her life. How long have you been having the best sex of your life? Out of curiosity.

00:00:13:19 - 00:00:15:06

Susan

For two decades.

00:00:15:08 - 00:00:42:12

Luna

Amazing. Okay, so she's been having the best sex of her life for two decades, and she's been in polyamorous relationships for more than half her marriage. She is into sexual emancipation, verbal titillation, yoni massage, ageless sexuality, lots of things that have to do with orgasms that she's going to tell us all about. And sex tool activation. Known as the intimacy expert to millions, she is based in California but runs a global business and is a boss bitch.

00:00:42:12 - 00:00:57:08

Luna

CEO of two of my words of two sexual wellness companies, and an author who teaches people that with the right communication skills and pleasuring techniques, sex can keep getting better your whole life long. Welcome, Susan Bratton.

00:00:57:10 - 00:01:01:01

Susan

Best introduction ever. While I love.

00:01:01:01 - 00:01:05:21

Luna

It. Well, it's not good material. Sizzle reel.

00:01:05:23 - 00:01:08:19

Susan

Oh, yeah. Not good girl. Yeah. Done. Good.

00:01:08:21 - 00:01:30:16

Luna

Yeah. I am really excited to talk to you. And me too. It's so hopeful. You were the first person in their 60s that I've talked to who has the frame of, like, it keeps getting better and better, so I fucking love that. Could you start off by if you had to rate yourself today on a sexual shame meter, with ten being the most full of shame and one being like, what is shame?

00:01:30:18 - 00:01:36:06

Luna

Where do you fall today? Why and when? If ever, has it fluctuated in your life?

00:01:36:08 - 00:02:09:05

Susan

Yeah, I'd say I'm below a zero. Because not only do I have no shame, but I find that I like to be a model for shameless sexuality. So I want to stand strong and be there so people can see what it looks like when someone fully embraces their pleasure, their joy, their connection, their vitality, and doesn't think it ever has to end, but keeps getting better.

00:02:09:07 - 00:02:10:17

Luna

I'm on board that trains.

00:02:10:21 - 00:02:25:12

Susan

Yes, I am too. And I would say the shame probably was about the end of the, early 50s. I let it all go.

00:02:25:14 - 00:02:28:18

Luna

Amazing. Was there, like, a moment for you or will that be.

00:02:28:18 - 00:02:47:08

Susan

Nope. A gradual chipping away of the patriarchal religiosity bullshit plague that we live in as a society, till there were no more pieces of shit sticking on me, and I was fully and ruthlessly sexually self expressed and felt great about it.

00:02:47:10 - 00:03:09:07

Luna

Beautiful. I am having a little projection moment here, so I'm just going to speak for myself first because I still often have these moments where I will let other people's shame like into my own energy bubble. And I have a feeling I have a guess that probably when other people's shame comes up in the context of you're there, that you're sort of like, Matt, like, what is it?

00:03:09:13 - 00:03:12:15

Luna

Do you ever get affected by other people's squiggles?

00:03:12:17 - 00:03:26:17

Susan

I have a compassionate heart, and I try not to ever make anyone feel badly in my presence. But I know that it happens. There's nothing I can do about it. I try not to exacerbate it.

00:03:26:18 - 00:03:51:20

Luna

I am a person who accidentally triggers people on the regular by being my regular self and being nice and, you know, walking into what I call human landmines. Usually they are shame based landmines. What does your compassion look like? And I'm know it's going to be different because all scenarios are different. But when someone is like in an activated shame moment, how do you hold space and when do you decide it's not your job to hold space for them?

00:03:51:22 - 00:04:15:01

Susan

I think it's always my job to hold space for them, whether that's implicit or explicit. Sometimes it's just recognizing they're having a moment and allowing them the grace of it. And other times it confronts it and letting them know that I am sorry, that they feel uncomfortable and acknowledging it, but not taking it all myself. I don't do that.

00:04:15:02 - 00:04:43:04

Susan

I don't have that issue anymore. I don't take it off. Oh, there's hope bro. Yeah, I think it's just there's certain things that you can do where you can tell people are uncomfortable, but it actually is good for them to hear it. Okay. And that's the part about being kind of ruthlessly sexually self expressed where yeah, they might be a little triggered when you say it or they're or you intimate something and they can imagine it and then they're like oh my God.

00:04:43:06 - 00:04:46:04

Susan

Yeah. But that's good for them. Yeah. That's what I.

00:04:46:04 - 00:04:47:23

Luna

Hadn't noticed since di.

00:04:48:00 - 00:04:49:12

Susan

Yeah. Yeah.

00:04:49:17 - 00:05:19:04

Luna

Well it's in the more that I get comfortable with my own self and I'm like playful. I'm practicing my charming human patterns. Like the more likely they are to be like, oh, yeah, I'm fine, you know? So, Oh, I feel like I have so much to learn from you. Okay, so looking upon the 62 years you've been on this earth, I would love to hear your reflections on how your relationships and personal pleasure have been affected, for better or worse, by our societal norms.

00:05:19:06 - 00:05:20:17

Luna

00:05:20:19 - 00:05:49:17

Susan

Yeah. Well, I am now at the point in my life where I live I have a molecule. So the current configuration is a husband and a boyfriend. Many people have come in and out of our poly kewl over the years. We tend to have long term relationships with people and my daughter loves our partners. She's 26, almost 27.

00:05:49:19 - 00:06:27:09

Susan

My mother knows who I am and what I do. My our family knows who we are. I don't hide anything about who I am. I'm I'm like I said, you know, I want to be a model for what is possible when you feel sovereign in yourself and what you're doing is good for you, supporting you. And I also, I think that one of the things that I'm enjoying about my sexuality the most right now is that I don't watch a lot of television.

00:06:27:11 - 00:07:01:19

Susan

I don't go out and eat at restaurants very much. I mostly exercise, cook meals, feed my people, fart around, hang out, have sex, you know? So I'm somewhat opted out of the economy. The attention economy of. What's taking up all this time? For most people, that's keeping them from having the pleasure and connection that they deserve. I'm more likely to be having a threesome than watching a movie.

00:07:01:19 - 00:07:31:09

Susan

I'm more likely to be feeding my people than eating out. Yeah, and that just suits me very well. My sexuality is, I'm very orgasmic these days. The level and quality of my orgasms, the intensity of my orgasms, the kinds of orgasms I can have are really, really satisfying. The comfort I have with my body. I'm more pleased with my body.

00:07:31:09 - 00:07:38:20

Susan

At 62 than I think I may have ever been in my life. And strong. I've got pop and biceps.

00:07:38:22 - 00:07:46:00

Luna

That's my feeling. 34. Like I just had this realization. Sorry not to interrupt, but like, I love that. I fucking love that.

00:07:46:02 - 00:08:04:08

Susan

I put on my jeans the other day. I mostly live in yoga pants. I, I read I do have one, I have one guilty social media pleasure and that is threads because there's a bunch of progressive liberals on there, and that's my people. And I just like to be in that space. They're very intelligent. They post interesting content.

00:08:04:08 - 00:08:24:11

Susan

I find it cerebrally. It feeds me. And one one woman posted that she had to wear hard pants to go do something today. And I was like, oh, I know what, hard pants are. The ones with the zippers and the hooks from the buttons. That's what hard pants are. But I had I put on my jeans the other day and I was walking.

00:08:24:11 - 00:08:50:21

Susan

We walked uptown. We actually went out to dinner. We walked uptown and my quads were so big that they were like pushing my pep. My pants were too tight around my pants and I was like, yeah, this is fantastic. So I feel really do my boobs sag? Yes. Do I have some crappy skin? I do, do I have wrinkles on my forehead because I'm literally now Botox and taller, and I couldn't even have Botox if I wanted to.

00:08:50:21 - 00:09:22:07

Susan

I did it for so many years. I can't even do it anymore. And so. Yet I still love my body more than I've ever loved it. I love how beautiful my vulva is. I love everything about it, and I love the strength and the stem and how long I can be on my hands and knees and, you know, have a threesome where I'm getting a spit roast or whatever, you know, like I just have this incredible capaz for pleasure and this incredible sexual self-confidence.

00:09:22:09 - 00:09:45:23

Susan

And I have a seemingly endless, well, of super sexy ideas of things that are fun to do in bed. And I'm just enjoying the shit out of all that stuff right now. And it was funny too, because today, so I had the sad thing happen. I've been running my business for 18 years, and I basically have a sex tips newsletter, and I promote my products and some products of other peoples.

00:09:45:23 - 00:10:02:03

Susan

But what I do is I write sex techniques. People write to me with their questions and their problems, and I answer them, and then I publish, I publish that, so it's like, you know, it's like Eugene Carroll. I mean, that's kind of what I do is I, I answer people's sex questions and give them ideas and advice.

00:10:02:05 - 00:10:20:01

Susan

And one woman wrote to me today and she said, my husband just said to me, I don't want to be with a woman who can't come. I don't think I even want to be married to you. And she said, you know, I've always like to be with him because, I enjoyed penetration, even though, you know, I never had an orgasm.

00:10:20:03 - 00:10:37:23

Susan

But now I'm so embarrassed and I feel so badly, and I'm. I'm even afraid to have sex with him because I feel like if I have sex with him and I don't have an orgasm, he's going to leave me and my confidence is shot and I don't know what to do. I just don't feel anything. What do I do?

00:10:38:00 - 00:10:56:12

Susan

And I wrote her the answers. I said stuff, I step by step. Here's what I want you to do. And when I was finished writing it, I was like, shit, I need to go masturbate. That was so fucking hot like that sex. I want to go do relatable to myself. Talk to her. And I just told her to go do it herself.

00:10:56:12 - 00:11:13:19

Susan

I'm like, damn. And so I said to my husband when we were stuck, we stopped to make lunch. And I said to him, so, I don't have a date tonight because, I just for some really sexy shit night, you know, I need some comes. And he's like, yes, I do.

00:11:13:21 - 00:11:14:18

Luna

Yeah.

00:11:14:20 - 00:11:33:05

Susan

So not only do I enjoy my own sexuality, but I also enjoy helping people find theirs and know that they're not broken, that the orgasms are in there, that all bodies can come every, all the 20 ways. And like, here's step by step by step what to do. And you know, she's going to come because I threw it all at her.

00:11:33:05 - 00:11:56:10

Susan

I threw the erotica. I threw the nipple clamps, I threw the the little booty plug. I threw the two kinds of vibrators I the dirty talk, the sex oil, the, you know, like, I just was like, let's load that bitch up with some good shit and make her cum. Really? Well, you know what I have found? And I think it's the difference between estrogen dominance and testosterone dominance.

00:11:56:10 - 00:12:27:07

Susan

But, it's very, very common that the woman doesn't orgasm and she thinks she can't. And so then he thinks she can't, but he's still going to fuck her. So then it's like, okay, well, I guess I'm just going to have to put up with it. And that's what I'm going to have to do because it's my obligation to have sex when the whole time if someone was just like, no, no, no, no, big baby, you can come, don't you, where your body is built to do it.

00:12:27:07 - 00:12:45:06

Susan

All those clubs are in there waiting to come out. Your husband and you just don't know how to get you off yet because you don't understand that you don't have a dick, you have a clit and it needs different things and your husband's been fucking you like a dude would fuck a dude, not a dude would fuck a lady.

00:12:45:10 - 00:13:01:12

Susan

Let's teach him how to fuck you and so you'll know how to come. And let's teach you how to fucking back so you can use him as your tool for pleasure. And you can come like crazy the whole time. You're fucking. I just wish there was more of that. Could we just please put that on billboards?

00:13:01:12 - 00:13:29:03

Luna

Because that's the sex that we need, right? Yeah. It sounds like the shitty societal norms that have been, like, the bane of my personal existence haven't touched you at all. Or is that just a post 50s as the shame wore off? Like, did you ever have like, society? You're a couple decades older than me. Like in your formative years, did you ever have any issues with, like, the messages the norms of our society give us?

00:13:29:03 - 00:13:33:13

Luna

Because it sounds like you help people with that a lot. But it's not just your God-Given gift.

00:13:33:15 - 00:13:47:09

Susan

Yeah, my my superpower is courage. I stand up for and speak for everyone I always have, even as a little kid. I'm like, yeah, but you can't do that to us because it's not fair and we don't like it. None of us do. And I was the one who said it, you know? So like, I just.

00:13:47:12 - 00:13:49:02

Luna

Always been like.

00:13:49:04 - 00:14:05:07

Susan

I was plagued and riddled by all of those things. I was traumatized, I was raped, I was abused, I was date raped. I got pregnant the first time I had sex, even though I used birth control and had to get an abortion at 19. I mean, like anything and everything that could have gone wrong. My boyfriend cheated on me, gave me herpes.

00:14:05:07 - 00:14:07:18

Susan

I have friggin herpes. Like everything that could have gone.

00:14:07:18 - 00:14:12:10

Luna

Wrong, I have herpes. Do a lot of us have herpes? I have both types.

00:14:12:12 - 00:14:33:08

Susan

So, yeah, it's like 80%. It's interesting too, but, what? I, the chief advocacy officer of a company called Basis Diagnostics, and they have a network and next generation STI testing kits at home testing kit. Now that uses, usually what it uses is little finger prick, so you don't have to go into the lab and get a blood draw anymore.

00:14:33:08 - 00:14:39:20

Susan

You know, people hate needles. They hate to get their blood drawn, and so they get go. You like it? Most people.

00:14:39:20 - 00:14:49:21

Luna

Hate me. No, but I like some some people even to watch. I know my brother faints. My brother's a fainter. I'm like he though. I'm like, oh shit. It didn't. It didn't hurt this time.

00:14:49:23 - 00:15:11:06

Susan

That's so funny. But I really am happy to talk about them, because one of the things that people do is they they have a lot of unconscious sex, and they don't get tested before they have sex. They're doing a lot of don't ask, don't tell. And, you know, they're doing a lot of things. The problem is the stars even jump the condom.

00:15:11:06 - 00:15:15:09

Susan

I mean, most of them are skin to skin transmission. That's what herpes is. It's your skin.

00:15:15:09 - 00:15:18:11

Luna

And people don't understand the risks of HIV too. Yeah.

00:15:18:15 - 00:15:44:07

Susan

Yeah. Don't I mean, studies have just come out from I think it was the Netherlands that now have, finally linked, dementia to herpes, to herpes viruses. I mean, trigeminal neuralgia is linked to herpes viruses. So it's very good to know you have it so that if you have a breakout, you can simply abstain. If you have a breakout and abstain, then you're not going to give somebody herpes.

00:15:44:07 - 00:16:07:22

Susan

And you can be with anyone you want to be because you're aware or. And so I love bringing into light these next. You know, Covid did a lot for vaccination technology. It did a lot for testing technology. And this company basis, they actually they have giant capacity because they built all this capacity in the Silicon Valley for Covid testing.

00:16:08:03 - 00:16:29:23

Susan

And then when Covid testing started going down and we got the home kits and things, they said, we're going to go big into SDI testing because, yeah, I testing STIs are rampant right now. They're up 20, 24% across the board. There are these massive flares. So when they say when you read the news about how, you know, the younger generation is not having any sex, I'm like, yeah, they are.

00:16:29:23 - 00:16:48:02

Susan

And they're doing it in very unsafe ways. So I don't want people to end up like me with herpes for the rest of their lives because they had partners that cheated on them and, you know, gave them things. You know, that's just by testing. So important. So I had all the shit happen to me that happens to most of us.

00:16:48:02 - 00:17:34:12

Susan

I've lived in that patriarchal religious society. I've had all that stuff. But I have always been, for some reason, the kind of person who felt sovereign and a bit and able to make my own decisions and to not require anyone else's approval for who I was or what I did. And I think that gave me the courage and the leadership to become the woman I am now, which is to give people the permission, the knowledge and the empowerment to go out and have good sex, because the people who have good intimate relations a few times a week, they are living longer, they look younger, and they have a happier life than the people who have

00:17:34:12 - 00:18:01:13

Susan

somehow, unfortunately, had all of this religious repression. And and you know what? Our society does ruin their sex lives and make them die younger, look worse, and have a shittier life than the people who are like, fuck you. You're not the boss of me. You. That's not my religion. You're just some white dude. Fuck you. I'm going to do what I want to do because I can handle myself.

00:18:01:15 - 00:18:05:15

Susan

And I've just always kind of kind of been that person.

00:18:05:17 - 00:18:24:16

Luna

Amazing. That's. I mean, do these at home test kids, test for herpes because it's real hard to even get a doctor to actually, like, do that sometimes. I had to ask specially. And then people also don't know that you have to like test either an active source or you have to do months after exposure because it won't show up in your blood until months later.

00:18:24:16 - 00:18:42:01

Susan

That's right, the blood test that I recommend. If you have an active sore, go to Planned Parenthood or go to your doctor and have it cultured just so you can rule out other things. If you don't but you suspect you had it, or you want to see if a partner has had it, then what you want is a blood test.

00:18:42:01 - 00:19:03:12

Susan

And now with the basis diagnostics tests, it's just a little finger prick and it's antibodies in the blood. So it's just a little dry blood sample that gets sent back to the lab 48 hours. You know your answers. And I'll give you the URL for it. It's full panel test.com. So that. And I'd be happy to send you one.

00:19:03:14 - 00:19:28:17

Susan

So that you can take the full test. Because the thing that I think is also important is that people are testing for chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis and HIV. But that's only for things. And there's really eight things that I like to test for, plus herpes, which is really ten things I like to test for ten things. And if you look at the the professional industry, the pornography industry, they test for ten things.

00:19:28:17 - 00:19:57:15

Susan

They test for hip A, B and C, they test for syphilis. Turkoman s HIV one. And to Gardner Ella gonorrhea, mycoplasma genital yam hatch C and chlamydia. And I think if you're getting all those tests, you're going to be pretty safe. And if you're going to do three tests or do eight tests to all the fucking tests, you know, and that's the thing that I also like is the molecules that are essentially what are called fluid bonded screening groups.

00:19:57:15 - 00:20:17:14

Susan

So you have a group of lovers, some of them are having sex with each other, some of them are only having sex with one person in there or what have you. But everyone's screened in and then if they decide they want to have sex outside the group, that's fine. No worries. Just test out. You know you're out. Test to get back in when you're done.

00:20:17:16 - 00:20:47:00

Susan

And I just think that's such a smart way to do things. And it's also just a nice lifestyle to have, you know, kind of multiple partners in the group support each other. I just see so much going that way now. It's one of the things I really appreciate about Dan Savage bringing out monogamy. Mish, as this term and letting people have their, you know, their core, their stable base, but also people more and more people are having, you know, experiences together.

00:20:47:00 - 00:21:12:07

Susan

And I just I love that because the more lovers that you have, ultimately, as long as you're having safe sex, the more lovers that you have, the more skills, the more experiences, more confidence, the more pleasure you have. The more you learn how to hold people in your heart and to make people feel included. And, you know, it's just it's just a wonderful cluster of life skills that spill over into your work and you're relating with your friends and your family.

00:21:12:09 - 00:21:22:01

Susan

And, and it can be really good not to say that being monogamous is bad. It is fantastic. If that's what's right for you. I support that fully, too.

00:21:22:02 - 00:21:44:20

Luna

Totally. If it works for people, then it works for people. If it's not working, maybe we can explore other things. And speaking of exploring, you are a self-described orgasmic knot. And I want to ask you this because, well, first of all, I love sci fi. I love everything that's exploration related. But, you know, people focus on orgasms so much.

00:21:44:20 - 00:22:06:08

Luna

Obviously they're important. But I would love to hear from you. In your expert opinion, what are the nuances that you have learned as an orgasm and that that you think it's important for people to understand because like having an orgasm isn't just like a goal for me. Sometimes when someone is so focused on checking the box of like, I'm a good partner, I gave her an orgasm.

00:22:06:10 - 00:22:15:05

Luna

It's not in service of connection. So what do you think, is it that makes having an orgasm in service of connection, not just box checking?

00:22:15:07 - 00:22:43:03

Susan

Yeah. So what? And I'm going to be I'm going to say these things in a, in a general way, knowing that they're, that everything's on a bell curve and that gender is a made up construct. Yeah. Yeah. And that there's many different, you know, carrier types and there's lots of genital expression and there's lots and lots of gender expression.

00:22:43:04 - 00:23:10:04

Susan

I mean, what is even male and female anymore? I don't even fucking know. I mean, like, I'm basically a dude with a vulva. So what do I know? So I really just want to hold space for the sparkle rainbow spectrum of ever evolving self-expression. That's what I want to do. However, there's two pretty large camps penis owning, testosterone dominant Homo sapiens and vulva owning, estrogen dominant Homo sapiens.

00:23:10:04 - 00:23:28:20

Susan

And there's people in the middle and across there. But I'm going to just talk to the two big clusters because it makes it more simple, knowing that I'm holding space for everything that can happen within that on a spectrum. And I'm going to call it men, and I'm going to call it women. Okay? Doesn't mean a thing. These are just place holders.

00:23:28:22 - 00:23:50:17

Susan

Men are testosterone dominant. They have a couple of nocturnal erections. They wake up with morning wood if they're healthy, they get a bolus of testosterone. They're testosterone dominant. They're goal oriented. They want they want to fuck every day. They want to jerk off every day. They want to know they are doing a good job and they want to be respected.

00:23:50:18 - 00:24:14:00

Susan

The female side of things, the the vulva owning, estrogen dominant, the O and the the masculine he walks in strength and doesn't worry about his safety. He's the predator. The feminine is the prey. She has estrogen dominance. She doesn't jerk off every day. Typically. That's not it.

00:24:14:00 - 00:24:29:04

Luna

Can't wait. Sorry. I'm so sorry. Because I'm a neuroscience nerd, and I'm, like, forgetting that I thought we all have more testosterone in general. Like, women still have more testosterone than they have estrogen, but we have more estrogen than men.

00:24:29:06 - 00:24:48:23

Susan

Yeah, it's true. It's there is there is a neuro. There's like a neuro dominance in your behavior from having that estrogen as a woman that makes you multitasker. Have you ever tried to get a dude to talk to you while he's doing something? And he's like, I don't know.

00:24:49:01 - 00:24:51:12

Luna

No, I'm single focus creatures.

00:24:51:14 - 00:25:16:15

Susan

Single focus where we have to be many focus because we're prey. We have to we have a reticular activation system that needs to really pay attention to a lot of things to keep ourselves safe. So we're multitaskers. We've got our mind on a million things. We're all up in our heads all the time, and we're not typically because men need to keep their sperm fresh, so they jerk off a lot where we don't have that need to do it.

00:25:16:15 - 00:25:23:09

Susan

So, yeah, I mean, there are many women who masturbate every day, but not compared to how many men do.

00:25:23:11 - 00:25:28:14

Luna

Okay, I was going to say you sound horny like me, though. You sound like Courtney's okay. I'm like.

00:25:28:14 - 00:25:32:12

Susan

Oh, I have a super high libido. I have the highest libido I've ever had in my life. You sure?

00:25:32:13 - 00:25:32:21

Luna

Okay.

00:25:32:22 - 00:26:00:13

Susan

Ooh. The thing is that the estrogen dominant woman, she's got as much erectile tissue in her pussy as her male body partner does in his penis. But he's got. He's already woken up. He's already masturbated. He's already horny. He's already jerked off to porn. He's already, like, ready to go. He gets an erection in two minutes and he wants to fuck a estrogen vulva owner.

00:26:00:18 - 00:26:27:07

Susan

She hasn't done all those things. She's not thinking about that. She's like thinking about other things. She's doing a lot of other things. And she takes 20 to 30 minutes to get into her full arousal, not two. And so what happens is that he's ready to go and he's done before she even got to engorgement, because people think they connote sex.

00:26:27:12 - 00:27:10:00

Susan

This is patriarchal religiosity. They can note sex with intercourse, sexes, body pleasuring, slut love as squeezing tongues down each other's throats. Breast plays, cock stroking, words of adoration, words of appreciation, objectification, oral pleasuring, fingering, long ass play, intercourse, sex toys, dirty stories, fantasy play, wearing lingerie, sexy dancing. I mean, I could go on and on and on and on with the ideas of the fun things that sex is.

00:27:10:00 - 00:27:33:15

Susan

And, you know, we're aware of most of them. And most of them we've you and I have done. And so I think that the biggest thing that we need to remember is, number one, that the body can have 20 kinds of orgasms. All of them are learned skills, but you can't get to them until you give yourself time to really get turned on.

00:27:33:15 - 00:27:56:15

Susan

And then there's three kinds of orgasms, three categories of orgasms. There's locations to touch your pee spot, your G-spot, your clear. You know, whatever it might be, your nipples, whatever it might be. And then there's techniques like erotic hypnosis. I'm going to make you come on command when I try and train you.

00:27:56:21 - 00:28:04:04

Luna

Don't do that on OnlyFans, everyone. You'll get kicked off. Just so you know. Hypnosis. Oh that's interesting. Yeah, yeah, they're they have some interesting rules. Yeah.

00:28:04:09 - 00:28:35:03

Susan

Then there are, there's expanded orgasm as an example. Expanded orgasm is this notion that it's not a necessarily a place to touch or a technique to you, or it's a technique to use, which is this notion that there's the kind of orgasms that, you know, Kinsey talked about in the 60s. Well, it was really actually it was a masters and Johnson that talked about in the 60s, which was this, you know, you go up, up, up, up, up, up, up, you climax, and then you fall off the cliff and you have to have a refractory period.

00:28:35:05 - 00:29:01:23

Susan

That's a male ejaculatory orgasm. And that's what we've been inculcated to believe is how we orgasm. That's bullshit. We can literally have many orgasms. That's multi orgasm. We can have extended orgasms. Like, I'm going to take that moment of time in that climax, and I'm going to stretch it out so that it's like I'm pulling taffy that orgasm time.

00:29:02:01 - 00:29:22:15

Susan

So I'm going to start to come and I'm just going to come and come and come in, come and come and come and come that the sensation will decrease. And I'll have to take a little break. And then that gets to expanded orgasm, which is almost like a quantum orgasm. It's this notion that you you're like a big wave rider.

00:29:22:18 - 00:29:46:18

Susan

You're going to get up into this wave. Your your partner or your toy or your fingers are going to tow you into this wave and you're going to start writing it, and the wave is going to pick up speed and dimension and volume and take it even higher and higher and higher. And each time you go up, you go into one that feels even better and last even longer.

00:29:46:23 - 00:30:03:22

Susan

And so you find yourself in orgasm for an hour at a time until you're just. So you just need to take a break. You need to have some water. You need to stop moaning for a second, to close your mouth for a second, because you've been coming and coming, coming and coming. So that's the second kind. And then the third kind.

00:30:04:03 - 00:30:29:07

Susan

So locations to touch, techniques to use. And the third one is objects of desire. And this is your neuroscience person. So Doctor Nan Wise she's the one who work with Barry Kamarck and Beverly Whipple and put all the people in their MRI machines and touched their purses and measured what parts of their brain lit up and went, wow!

00:30:29:07 - 00:30:49:23

Susan

When we touch her pussy lips, it lights up a different part that when we touch her internal sphincter, or her clitoris or her nipples. Holy shit. These are lighting up what she nan calls the crotch of the brain. It's lighting all these different places up. And essentially what that's doing. You know how they say that your brain is your biggest sex organ?

00:30:50:01 - 00:31:15:17

Susan

Well, essentially the reason that it is, is because it is processing the pleasure sensation. It's telling. You touch me there, it feels good. And typically what you'll find and research has shown this as well, that when you touch let's just take a vulva for example. But this is the same with the penis prostate testicle connection. I'm going to touch your clitoral hood.

00:31:15:19 - 00:31:26:09

Susan

I'm going to touch your inner labia. I'm going to touch your outer labia. I'm going to touch you on the minds. I'm going to touch you in the vestibule. I'm going to touch you in the inner translator. I'm going to touch you in the vagina and touch you on the roof of the vagina, which people call a G-spot.

00:31:26:09 - 00:31:52:02

Susan

That's a long tube. You know, I'm going to touch you in all these places. What are you feeling? I feel numb, I feel shame, I feel pain, I feel pleasure, you're going to feel different things. But it turns out that often those numb, shame and pain places simply have just never been touched with a loving heart and the right kind of touch and good at lubrication and all of those things.

00:31:52:04 - 00:32:23:19

Susan

And you can transmute all the pain, the shame and the numbness into pleasure by activating all of the parts of your vulva and your vagina, your urogenital complex, your yoni or your penis testicle, prostate connection. And that's what orgasmic activation is. It's using the tools to to bring sensation to different places. So I'm going to get a different sensation with a clitoral sucker, an air stimulator.

00:32:23:21 - 00:32:24:20

Susan

Then I am from.

00:32:24:20 - 00:32:30:07

Luna

There very intense for me. Like I cannot like I'm like,

00:32:30:09 - 00:32:59:12

Susan

There's a thruster. So a thruster is wonderful for especially for the women who are like, I haven't had penetration for so many years. I think it's fuzed shut. I'm afraid to go out and fuck somebody. I'm like a thrusters what you need or a G-spot wand or, rabbit. So it's both external and internal stimulation or a a nice wand of some kind that's penetrating deeply into the tissue.

00:32:59:14 - 00:33:34:10

Susan

You're activating all kinds of different parts of that whole complex, sending signals to your brain that are activate, feeding your brain and moving the pain, the shame, the numb to pleasure such that when your lover touches the little frilly edge of your inner labia with their tongue and just lovingly licks that you have an orgasm because you've activated it, you don't even need it to be direct clitoral stimulation.

00:33:34:10 - 00:34:06:07

Susan

Your clit is literally wrapped around your vagina. All that erectile tissue that's the same amount as in a partner's penis is in our vulva. We just have to get it plumped up and big and juicy and just so it's scent has more surface area. So when we touch it, it sends more signals to our brain. So the tools are very important components to orgasmic activation and orgasmic cross-training.

00:34:06:12 - 00:34:31:05

Susan

I have them all at orgasmic Cross-training dot com. So everything I was kind of holding up and showing you, if your listeners are listening, they can go to orgasmic cross-training and see the eight for the vulva and the four for the penis that activate all of the different areas of tissue. So you can more easily, more confidently, and more intensely have many more kinds of orgasms.

00:34:31:06 - 00:34:49:23

Susan

And you don't even have to try. After a while, the orgasms are like a spring of water, clean, fresh water from the earth. They come up and bubble out of you. You don't have to make them happen. You have to allow them to come out of you.

00:34:50:01 - 00:35:07:02

Luna

I would love to hear how you learned about sex. You know, we all have our own kind of personal sex journey. So maybe starting with when do you first remember hearing about sex? Could you just take us through the parts of your personal sexual timeline that are most formative?

00:35:07:04 - 00:35:32:06

Susan

I was very lucky. My mother. I asked her a million questions and she answered them and she knew what the hell she was talking about. She paid attention. My mother is very bright, and, so I felt very comfortable asking her anything and everything. And I was very young. The first grade, maybe, you know, maybe even younger when I started asking questions and she just told me the facts and told me everything.

00:35:32:08 - 00:35:49:04

Susan

So I always felt really comfortable about that. And then I always read a lot of sex books. I was always interested in learning about sexuality. And then in my 40s, when I was struggling to have orgasms from intercourse, and it almost ruined my marriage. And we said, well, let's learn what the hell we're doing because it's not working.

00:35:49:09 - 00:36:12:09

Susan

We started going to sex workshops or to tantra workshops and, you know, expanded orgasm workshops and all kinds of things. Human awareness Institute seven levels of sex, love and intimacy. You know, we did all the things, and we realized how easy it is to become comfortable and satisfied and heart connected in bed because it's just simple, learned skills.

00:36:12:09 - 00:36:40:06

Susan

That's the beautiful thing about sex. It's it's like they're just a whole string of pearls of techniques that you learn over time and get better and better. And as long as you have good sexual communication, as long as you're comfortable and you you can ask for what you want and your partner, you know, can acknowledge it and appreciate you for it and adjust and deliver and, and, that's that's very easy to create as well with partners.

00:36:40:08 - 00:37:04:06

Susan

If you just know how to do it and, and have some techniques. So I've just been incrementing my skills and learning from everyone I possibly can. I'm very lucky that I've had a lot of incredible mentors. I carry a number of sexual lineages. I've taught thousands and thousands and thousands of people how millions of people how to com thousands and thousands and thousands of people.

00:37:04:06 - 00:37:28:23

Susan

Things like female ejaculation, male multiple orgasm, expanded orgasm, all of these kinds of things that are techniques that I've been teaching for decades through my books and programs. So I just keep learning, you know, like about the brain to the crotch from man Wise and stuff like that. I'm always incrementing my knowledge and stitching things together. I find it endlessly fascinating, and I never stop learning.

00:37:29:00 - 00:37:38:02

Susan

I never run out of things to do. I always say that if sex were a brand, it would. Its tagline would be sex. There's always something.

00:37:38:02 - 00:37:39:21

Luna

More. Oh my God, yes.

00:37:39:21 - 00:37:44:05

Susan

It's it's limitless. Just like the pleasure is limitless.

00:37:44:07 - 00:38:02:19

Luna

Yeah, yeah, I when I started interviewing people six years ago, I was like, oh, if I just ask enough people the same questions, then I'll really start to get a hang of it. And, you know, and I've always had a lot of like, enthusiasm but really channel. Right. Like a sprinkler, if it's a hose that's just like whipping around.

00:38:02:21 - 00:38:19:03

Luna

And so, you know, it's it's very, very interesting because the deeper down all the rabbit holes I go, the more I'm like, shit, I need a million clones to learn everything I know. What are you learning about right now that's on the cusp of newness for you. Like what's what's the edge of your learning that you're most excited about?

00:38:19:05 - 00:38:47:06

Susan

I would say, prostate repair and the care and cheating of your prostate is something I'm learning. Last thing that I did was I wrote a series of orgasmic intercourse techniques to help all women have orgasms from intercourse. And their partners, their male body partners, know what to do to facilitate that. Just prior to that, I wrote about orgasmic cross-training.

00:38:47:06 - 00:39:16:04

Susan

The different categorized, all the sex tools and figured out, you know, what are all the possible options so you can systematically try them all and activate all that tissue. Before that, it was I wrote a book called The Quiet Vibe Guide. Because there are a lot of people who live in houses with their children or in community, and they want privacy and they don't want noisy toys or they're, you know, on the autism spectrum and they're highly sensitive people, and they don't like the fucking noise.

00:39:16:04 - 00:39:17:19

Susan

You know, it bothers them.

00:39:17:19 - 00:39:29:04

Luna

They like I sure do. Exactly. When I come, everything has to like if I have a really, really intense orgasm. I am so noise sensitive and light sensitive that I'd like to be quiet.

00:39:29:06 - 00:39:49:06

Susan

Yeah, exactly. So I wrote Quiet Vibe Guide before that. And then, before that, what did I write? Oh, the 20 kinds of orgasms. So one day I thought to myself, what are all the ways I can come? Am I missing any kind of man's body? You know, what? Can a penis owner come as many ways as, of all the owner, you know?

00:39:49:06 - 00:40:07:09

Susan

And so I just started listing them and figuring them out, and I realized it's it's infinite because I say there's 20 kinds, but the 20th one is called Wild Card because, sex, there's always something more. So I did that before that. So, you know, I've just been like, I'm the I'm there's always something for me that I'm working on or learning.

00:40:07:09 - 00:40:32:22

Susan

I've got a box of sex toys right now. There's like 8 or 10 of them in there. And I'm going to try every single one with my partners and myself. So, you know, I'm just having experiences all the time. That's the orgasm. Not in me. One of my mentors, Doctor Patti Taylor, who taught me, she gave me the lineage of the expanded orgasm practice, a five stroke clitoral stroking technique.

00:40:33:00 - 00:40:58:14

Susan

She she did her PhD in female orgasm. And I think that's what really got me started was she really taught me how to how to calm and how to come. Well, to the point where many, you know, I can remember calling her and saying, I am coming so much, so hard and so long that I'm worried about coming more because I don't know, can I come back from it?

00:40:58:14 - 00:41:20:23

Susan

Am I going to like, lose my mom? And she said, I said, I feel like here's where I got the orgasm. And I said, I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff. I'm standing on this rocky ledge at the end of this cliff, and it's I'm going out into this void and I'm afraid to step off.

00:41:21:01 - 00:41:46:19

Susan

And she said, oh, you're there now. Okay, here's what you did. This bitch that just made my nipples hard, telling you that I got super turned on thinking about that moment. It was such a pivotal, orgasmic moment in my life. She goes. She goes, step off. Like go. Yeah, go into it. Go into the void. I she said, you'll come back and you may need some time to recover, but you'll come back.

00:41:46:19 - 00:41:55:14

Susan

And I said, what's out there? And she said, source sources out there you will touch I got my nipples are so what my team said.

00:41:55:14 - 00:42:00:00

Luna

Well you guys remember like I'm like, oh yeah, no.

00:42:00:02 - 00:42:21:10

Susan

She said, I she said, you will touch you will palpably feel connected to all living things. You will realize we are one. Yes. And you will feel the ancestors, the gods, the goddesses, whatever you want to call it. You'll feel it. You'll feel Gaia. You'll feel the beating heart of life.

00:42:21:12 - 00:42:37:09

Luna

That's why I have to talk about sex with people. Because I feel that I've felt that a bunch and I'm like, oh shit, these other people are having it necessarily. Some people are, but like, I want that for everyone. And I believe it's possible. Sounds like you. It sounds like you're teaching people concrete ways.

00:42:37:11 - 00:42:43:05

Susan

Yeah, well, and why would religion want us to have that? We're not going to.

00:42:43:07 - 00:42:46:23

Luna

Because then we give her money. Yeah, exactly.

00:42:47:01 - 00:42:50:01

Susan

What that is. Shut that shit down. Right. Yeah.

00:42:50:03 - 00:43:05:13

Luna

Yeah. Because it's too powerful for us to all be. I mean, whatever, people can't control us if we're self-satisfied, right? We live in a commodified place where people. We get a sadness, and then they sell us a thing to fix the sadness. And it's like, if the happiness comes from our pussy, then, oh, oh, she's too powerful.

00:43:05:15 - 00:43:12:17

Luna

So. So wait, so what was it like the first time you, like, let yourself step off that cliff?

00:43:12:19 - 00:43:42:14

Susan

Amazing. I mean, that first time when you. It's, like, so palpable to feel source, to feel connection to everyone. It makes you. It makes you feel like you are part of a kind and loving system. You are cradled in love. And it also kind of it feels like a tap root shoots out of your pussy and goes into the earth.

00:43:42:14 - 00:43:57:11

Susan

And just just like this tendril that joins with everything in it, it grounds you at an Anchorage. You feel like a sovereign being. You feel empowered, but you also feel part of the greater good.

00:43:57:13 - 00:44:11:09

Luna

Yeah, I feel like I have a reason to be alive and not to know. I know there are people out there like, oh my God, sex is a reason to be alive. But I'm like, isn't it though? Like it's our original. I call it our original creativity. You know? It. Yeah. Literally it in the most literal way. It is.

00:44:11:13 - 00:44:22:22

Luna

Yeah. Do you feel comfy sharing how you got to such a sexy place in your personal life? Like you're living this amazing poly situation, but it sounds like you and your partner didn't necessarily start there.

00:44:23:00 - 00:44:49:03

Susan

I always love sex. I always wanted good sex. I was chasing Daniel around trying to trap him with my jump rope in first grade so I could kiss them. You know, I just always like it. And, I have really been a slut my whole life. Unabashedly. Proudly. I really looked for my entire 20s for someone that I felt sexually compatible with.

00:44:49:05 - 00:45:08:06

Susan

And when I met my husband when I was 30, I married him for a couple of reasons. Number one, he was the smartest man I'd ever met, the kindest man I'd ever met. He did not belittle my ambition. He liked it. And he's been the wind beneath my wings for 32 years. Yes, he had a big dick because I've got a giant.

00:45:08:06 - 00:45:24:23

Susan

Let's say I'm a big girl. I'm almost six feet tall and I like a big dick. And, I've taught over 10,000 men a penis enlargement techniques using a vacuum erection device. I mean, like, I wrote a book on it that's had 50,000 downloads. It's been guys.com.

00:45:25:04 - 00:45:35:14

Luna

When you say you taught them, did you get to. Because I just want to like do like physical experiments on people. Not in a mad scientist way. But I'm like, did you get to look and touch or was it all like verbal.

00:45:35:16 - 00:45:37:22

Susan

Verbal guidance, verbal guidance through my books?

00:45:37:22 - 00:45:39:10

Luna

And maybe I want to do the experiment.

00:45:39:10 - 00:45:41:14

Susan

My boyfriend and her husband. Oh, was it fun?

00:45:41:17 - 00:45:43:17

Luna

Yeah. I want to do the hands on teaching. Okay.

00:45:43:20 - 00:45:50:21

Susan

Oh, that's a couple guys. Would be a lot of dick to touch you, but, what's your game.

00:45:50:23 - 00:45:53:01

Luna

Speed? Would I have time for it?

00:45:53:03 - 00:46:15:02

Susan

When I got married, I spent a decade being monogamous and having sex. That just wasn't as good as I wanted it. And, you know, it, like, petered out after a few years because I wasn't having orgasms from intercourse and which to know what we were doing. But then once we started learning and we started having super great sex, we're like, we should fuck some other people.

00:46:15:04 - 00:46:30:03

Susan

And so we asked our friends and they're like, you're disgusting. No, ill. So we were like, okay, we can't ask our friends. And we kind of wandered around, you know, like, who could we ask? What could we do? And we didn't want to have hookups. It didn't seem that great. And yeah, we had a few, you know, dalliances.

00:46:30:03 - 00:46:49:01

Susan

And then one day my friend was like, you guys, there's a conscious sexual community of people that I want to introduce you to. And then just like, finally we just, like, exploded into a group and things like that. And it had a lot of permutations in our relationship, in our poly. You know, our poly kills have changed over time and things like that.

00:46:49:01 - 00:47:12:16

Susan

And, you know, I've, I've had like I would like to have this experience with you and I'd like you to screen in for the weekend. And that's all I can guarantee. I don't have time to do more, but would you be willing? Oh hell yeah, I would, you know. So we've had a lot of different variety and, so I've just I just feel like, I continue to have really great experiences.

00:47:12:16 - 00:47:24:03

Susan

I just had, for some with my three men, my, my two boyfriends and my husband, and that was really fun. I've had over 500 threesomes with mostly two men.

00:47:24:05 - 00:47:37:21

Luna

Slow down, go back where you share any details. Like just position like I love to just. I mean, because I still have not accomplished my DP, I guess because I haven't prioritized it. I think it's coming up, but what configurations did you do that were so fun?

00:47:37:23 - 00:47:44:17

Susan

Probably with the foursome, with the three guys. You know, a lot of good sex depends on body dynamics.

00:47:44:19 - 00:47:52:23

Luna

Yeah, that's why I love sex with so many different people, because you can only experience different things with different bodies and Injuns.

00:47:53:00 - 00:48:08:10

Susan

Yeah, I like super long thigh bones, you know, because I said I'm almost six feet tall. I really, really like that. And so, like, I can, you know, if you're try to do me doggy style and you're got short thighs, it's just like you can't get up on there, you know, you let them splay down and that's nope not comfortable.

00:48:08:10 - 00:48:30:16

Susan

So mostly for the, for some that we had, it was cock in my ass, cock in my pussy, cock in my mouth so intensely. And that way the ass man really knew what he was doing. The cock man was on the bottom. I was on top of him. Ass man was behind me and then I had the cock in my face.

00:48:30:18 - 00:48:57:04

Susan

And that was really nice because two of the three, my husband and my boyfriend, they were super used to having sex with me together and they knew about the the movement and they were used to one follow the other so that the tempo was the same so that I was I wasn't having a cacophonous experience. I was having a really amazing, smooth delivery of sensation.

00:48:57:06 - 00:49:12:20

Susan

So when it was the three man, the guy in my ass, he was the stroke leader. So it was his stroking that that the other two guys followed. So if you can imagine, I was lying there.

00:49:12:20 - 00:49:13:17

Luna

Oh, I can't, and.

00:49:13:17 - 00:49:34:07

Susan

With 3 or 4 aces were being pleasured simultaneously at the same speed, and they were holding me and they were telling me how beautiful I am, how much they loved me, how good I felt. I mean, I couldn't do it. I had a giant cock.

00:49:34:07 - 00:49:36:10

Luna

Yeah, yeah, you're full.

00:49:36:12 - 00:49:55:12

Susan

And so that was we did that quite a few times. The first time we did it, we were like, hey, no pressure. We're just doing a body dynamics check. We're just doing a block. I call it a block date. Beautiful. So that we can figure out who goes where and what works fast and how we. And then you can relax into those things once you get it all blocked and you're comfortable with each other.

00:49:55:14 - 00:50:14:22

Susan

So that was those were some really nice experiences that I really, really enjoyed. And then I also did one where, like I laid on the dining room table and they took turns fucking me. That was really fun, kind of spinning me around on the table and everything. That was super cute. I enjoyed that too. So we've done a lot of fun stuff together.

00:50:15:00 - 00:50:36:07

Luna

Damn, that's so good! What an inspiration. What a fucking literal fucking inspiration. It sounds like you are in a place where you are open ish to new partners. If maybe they meet the right criteria. What do you look for in a connection? Like what gets you excited to connect intimately physically with a new partner at this point in your life?

00:50:36:09 - 00:50:57:07

Susan

It's always just chemistry. It's always just, Oh, now, I'd like to thank you. What would that be like? You look good. You taste good. You smell good. I like your personality. We're a values match. Like I am not talking to Trumper, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I just let the policy do the picking. She knows what she wants.

00:50:57:09 - 00:50:58:23

Susan

I'm, I'm slave to her.

00:50:59:04 - 00:51:15:23

Luna

Do you do ever. So like I, this is what I've been trying to figure out for the past few years because like if I just let myself go I mean obviously I filter through values, I filter through these things. But it's like I'm such a wide net of. Yes. So I have to figure out how to filter so that I don't.

00:51:16:01 - 00:51:31:21

Luna

I mean, for my 20s, I wasted a lot of time, just like chasing sex or having sex or being sort of like you were giving away so much energy, but it sounds like you were picking quality people, but it sounds like also, maybe you're in a community where you are being introduced to quality people. Is that accurate feeling?

00:51:31:23 - 00:51:41:20

Susan

Yeah. I mean, I run in a crowd of people who are everything from functional medicine doctors to pro doms. Yeah. You know.

00:51:41:22 - 00:51:46:16

Luna

Totally. So your your baseline is like high. It's like high caliber.

00:51:46:17 - 00:52:12:00

Susan

Yeah. Yeah. They're healthy, they're educated. They're, you know, I am surrounded by super premium people and, and I don't fuck that many people, I really don't. I mean, my boyfriend that I had over the last year, was the only person I had a girlfriend a year, about a year or so ago to, I was her exotic birth partner.

00:52:12:00 - 00:52:26:12

Susan

She was, pregnant, and, she said, I would like to know if you'd be willing to be my extended birth partner. And I said, what is that? And she said, I'm not really sure. I was thinking we could make it up. And I said, I do.

00:52:26:13 - 00:52:33:22

Luna

That all the time to people. I'm like, I just want you to know, that's so cool. I love how that's okay. Yeah. Sorry. So. Okay. Yeah. Give.

00:52:34:00 - 00:53:05:20

Susan

So I basically gave her orgasmic pussy massages throughout her entire pregnancy as often as she wanted them. And as often as I was available, and there was no reciprocity required. She was just stating and busy. But I just took care of her pussy and gave her orgasms. And that baby just did backflips and side flips, and it was just so neat to watch her belly grow and her her pussy ripe in, and to feel how everything changed inside her and God, that was fun.

00:53:05:20 - 00:53:22:00

Susan

And I would give her breast massages. I would rubber belly with the, you know, the, the, the butter that they use so that you don't get stretch marks. And then I'd give her a good pussy rub. And that was really fun. And then once she had the baby and she kind of recovered, she was like, man, do I miss those pussy rubs.

00:53:22:02 - 00:53:38:04

Susan

Like, I think I'm gonna get pregnant again. So like, I nice. And so we had a, you know, a few additional dates beyond that. But honestly, her husband doesn't really he doesn't love it. Like he's willing to let her be with women, but he doesn't want her to be with men, even though she's like an avowed poly person.

00:53:38:04 - 00:53:51:14

Susan

And so it's kind of difficult, but it's also a lot to it's also a lot to balance, like, I'm, I'm running to companies. I'm, I'm speaking from stage. I'm doing podcast. I don't know if you know this, but there's a documentary film being made about me and my life and work.

00:53:51:19 - 00:53:53:07

Luna

Fuck, yes.

00:53:53:09 - 00:54:22:05

Susan

So that was really humbling and lovely experience. And so, you know, I've got to be available for those kinds of things. It's a movie called The Gift. It'll probably come out in 2025. And, it's the gift because our sexuality is one of the gifts of our humanity. And so it's about how it's a documentary about how you are censored from knowing these things that are going to give you this long, happy, healthy life because you are being controlled.

00:54:22:06 - 00:54:41:23

Susan

And it's both a combination of why you're censored, how you're censored, but also what no one's telling you, the things that you're being kept from because porn. Porn doesn't want you to have sex. They want you to watch porn. If you if you're having sex, you're not watching porn. So they're not teaching you how to have sex, they're just titillating you.

00:54:42:01 - 00:54:45:18

Susan

Same with movies. They want you to watch movies. They don't want you to learn anything.

00:54:45:18 - 00:54:47:01

Luna

Live life.

00:54:47:03 - 00:55:06:07

Susan

And Instagram doesn't want you to, as you know, because they have shot you down. So there's really no place to go to find this information and where you don't have sex education. And, you know, there's just so many problems. I mean, you ask the average person to, to name the eight major stars and they can do syphilis and gonorrhea and maybe HIV.

00:55:06:07 - 00:55:26:21

Susan

They can't do more than three. They don't even know what they are like. There's no nothing. We don't even know about fertility awareness for preventing conception. You know, like we're not even taught about our periods, our menstrual cycles and things like that. So there's just so many things you can learn to have such an incredible sex life that are so fundamental.

00:55:26:21 - 00:55:42:12

Susan

And it's really the movie is really about that. It's like, okay, here's what you've been missing. These are the things you need to know. These are the fundamentals. I've been teaching people how to have hot sex for years. I don't sit one on one and heal trauma wounds. I teach you how to have hot sex. What are the communication skills?

00:55:42:17 - 00:56:05:18

Susan

What are the techniques? How do you come? Better, harder, faster, longer, more different ways? And, what do you need to do to take care of your body so that you can have ageless sexuality so you can live longer, look better, be healthier, and have a happier life than your people who gave it up. And so that's, you know, that's really what it comes down to, is that it's yours to learn.

00:56:05:18 - 00:56:17:05

Susan

And there's people like me here if you can find us. So thank you for having me, because you help people find me so I can do the lion hearted work that I do.

00:56:17:07 - 00:56:38:20

Luna

What you gotta do, that's what we are. I mean, these conversations are here for. Yeah. So what else is on your personal or creative erotic bucket list? Like, it sounds like you've done a lot, but is there anything that, like, are there any horizons to be explored still for you? Obviously we know it's infinite, but is there anything in particular?

00:56:38:22 - 00:56:42:06

Susan

Well, I'm going to start on that box of sex toys.

00:56:42:08 - 00:56:46:05

Luna

I'm going to place the sex toys better right in front of you. That's a good starting place.

00:56:46:06 - 00:57:07:00

Susan

Yeah, that's that's really what I'm going to focus on next because I need to try them all. I like to render an opinion on all of the different things that are out there, and make recommendations for people. I won't know what works and what's good till I try it myself. I'm the ultimate sexual biohacker. I do all the things to myself.

00:57:07:02 - 00:57:18:01

Susan

Yeah. So I'm just I continue to explore toys because they're very innovative. Sex tech is constantly moving and getting better, and so I stay on top of it. Fuck yeah.

00:57:18:03 - 00:57:26:00

Luna

What in your expert opinion do you think we need to make the world a more connected and loving place?

00:57:26:02 - 00:57:29:22

Susan

Sex education.

00:57:30:00 - 00:57:43:03

Luna

If there were a person whose life mission was to create a dramatic content on camera, something that would, you know, because people are learning from porn, you know, I know there's some educational porn out there. What would you like to see in that type of education?

00:57:43:05 - 00:58:04:18

Susan

Oh, well, some of the things that I already have, my steamy sex ed video collection is 200 lovemaking techniques demonstrated by relatable couples that's suitable to watch as as a couple. And, you can watch it with a sound on. You can watch it with just the music on. You can follow along and do to your partner the things you're seeing on the screen.

00:58:04:20 - 00:58:27:07

Susan

It's yoni massage, lingam massage, erotic massage, sex positions, oral pleasuring for both partners. And I think even just something like that, being able to see something that's not pornography but is but is very sexy, but is reverential and female forward I think is very important.

00:58:27:13 - 00:58:38:15

Luna

Yeah. How would you describe the difference between the educational content that you have and pornography? Like what would you say makes the difference in content?

00:58:38:17 - 00:59:02:23

Susan

Yeah. The first thing is that pornography is primarily made for camera angles and made for the man's pleasure. It's almost all, you know, kind of the. The ejaculation money shot is the featured part of the film. The, you know, he comes on her instead of inside her most of the time, and I don't think that's right.

00:59:03:01 - 00:59:23:09

Susan

It's about, you know, his big dick getting pleasured and not about how long it takes her to even want to have sex or get warmed up, or it. It's not about her pleasure. It's not about her genital system. It's not about her breasts. Play. It's usually like a squeezing of the boob rather than like nipple stroking. It's there's never any adoration.

00:59:23:11 - 00:59:57:04

Susan

It's like she's there to service him. And what you see in videos from the steamy sex ed video collection, for example, or even in female liquid orgasm or expand her orgasm to night, is that they are feminine centered. They are for her erotic pleasure and expansion, and her natural turn on is such a beautiful thing to see. It's guileless, it's non performative, it's heart connected, it's conscious and present and it's slow and it can be highly erotic, highly sensual.

00:59:57:04 - 01:00:13:17

Susan

It can be, you know, dominating. It can be, swishy. It can be all of those things. But it's not just to, for a guy to jerk off to, it's to learn pleasuring skills. And I think that's the difference.

01:00:13:20 - 01:00:19:15

Luna

I love, if only Pornhub were full of that.

01:00:19:17 - 01:00:27:02

Susan

Yeah, but remember, if they taught you what to do, you'd be fucking. You wouldn't be watching Pornhub. So they have zero incentive.

01:00:27:04 - 01:00:44:09

Luna

Okay, so fantasy question time. Yeah. If we suddenly lived in a world where everyone had to be a sex worker for two years in your life, how would you serve? What type of sex worker would you want to be?

01:00:44:11 - 01:01:07:02

Susan

I'll tell you some things that are popping into my head. One of them would be to be someone who taught you how to pleasure a pussy. So you could practice on me. I would show you all the parts. I'd show you how they like to be touched. I'd give you a sense of the time frame that it takes.

01:01:07:04 - 01:01:29:01

Susan

And I'd give you all kinds of arousal escalation techniques. I teach you how to kiss and I would, show you how I get off Deep Throat in your cock. If you were a man. If you were a woman, I would do different things. I would teach you how to hold me. I would teach you how to comfort me.

01:01:29:03 - 01:01:52:11

Susan

I'll teach you how to jerk my feet off. I would teach you how to give me belly orgasms. I teach you how to spank me really nicely. I will teach you how to eat my pussy. I will teach you how to fuck me. So I come and come and come. I would teach you how to rub pain cream onto anything that hurt when you started making love to me, because I'm always working out and I'm always like, oh my, like my muscle or my lats, you know, whatever.

01:01:52:13 - 01:02:07:23

Susan

I teach you how to do it. Rub me. I will teach you. I will teach you how to give me words of adoration and appreciation and encouragement. I will teach you how to tell me. And beautiful. Things like that. Those are some of the things that I would probably do just teach the the lovely arts of feminine pleasure.

01:02:08:01 - 01:02:23:21

Luna

I love that I just have this big, huge. I know it's such a fantasy, but I'm like, I just want health insurance to cover sex work so that everyone can have like an introductory experience, you know, because that's what my sex worker friends like do for people like me. They should bring people into these new experiences, probably not to that level of detail, I don't know.

01:02:23:23 - 01:02:42:13

Luna

I'm not in those sessions, but beautiful answer. Okay, lastly, if you had an unlimited budget to build your perfect creation space or playroom or dungeon or mansion or palace castle, whatever structure you want for whatever audience of people you want, what is it like?

01:02:42:15 - 01:03:07:11

Susan

Well, I think it would be a very large room that was very sun filled at the edge of the ocean. It would have, a warm fireplace on one wall. The rest of the walls would probably be mirrors. There'd be cameras fixed in all of the locations. That would be a just a switch, and the lighting would look beautiful in my body, but also be enough light that you could see everything that was happening.

01:03:07:11 - 01:03:28:12

Susan

So I could film things from many different perspectives so you could get a real feeling. I'd edit all the things together so that it would be this kind of 360 degree experience. I would like there to be, the, big bed, like a, a Hollywood size bed. Hollywood is even bigger than, like a California or Eastern king.

01:03:28:12 - 01:03:51:07

Susan

It's like a double king. So if we like a giant playpen kind of a thing, and it would be just the right height that I could get sucked off the edge of it really well, the headboard would have a big platform for all the different lubes and things that I love. I see stacks and stacks of waffle weave washcloths so you can wipe your hands off towels.

01:03:51:13 - 01:04:20:20

Susan

There'd be big giant fascinators or sport sheets thrown over the bed. There'd be music and the music would be like a really nice Sonos multi, you know, multi surround sound, stereo system hooked up to Spotify to all my sex playlists. And there would be possibly also some nooks in the walls where I could have candles because I also like candlelight, not just regular light.

01:04:21:00 - 01:04:34:10

Susan

Yeah. And there would be places for pitchers of water and glasses so you can hydrate. And I have basically, with the exception of the size of the bed just described, my bedroom.

01:04:34:12 - 01:04:54:02

Luna

How does this vision was like? I was like, as I was asking, I was like, I bet she already has this. I feel like, yeah, I think it's amazing. I mazing oh my God. Okay, lovers, you can find Susan on Instagram at Susan Bratten go to Better lover.com. You can find links to all the things will be in the description below.

01:04:54:02 - 01:04:57:12

Luna

Susan. Thank you so much for being a guest on IG stories.

01:04:57:14 - 01:05:15:10

Susan

It was so much fun, I loved it, I love you, you're brilliant. You ask such good questions. You're so pretty. You're so fuckable. You're so sexy. Everything about you is just delicious. You are doing the right thing with this podcast. Thank you for having me.