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53 heterosexual cis male, he/him pronouns, non-monogamous, recently single, from NYC.

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00:00:00:15 - 00:00:34:00

Luna

Our guest today is a 53 year old, recently ish single non-monogamous, straight dude who grew up on the Upper West Side of Manhattan in the late 80s. He is into novel sexual situations, and throughout his life has experienced many different depths of connection with his partners, which we are going to hear about. He is also into prostate massage, his cock being worshiped deeply, giving and once receiving anal, and he even surprises himself by being super duper into helping a partner fulfill a double penetration fantasy in a threesome with two penises and one pussy.

00:00:34:00 - 00:00:44:05

Luna

Owner, a software engineer, house renovator, and writer whose book Seek the Risk is about his journey into non-monogamy. With us today from New York. Welcome, Adam. Hi.

00:00:44:05 - 00:00:45:11

Adam

While it's great to be here.

00:00:45:12 - 00:01:00:15

Luna

I'm so excited to have you here. Can you please start off by telling us if you had to rate yourself on a sexual shame meter with ten being the most full of shame and one being like, nah, I'm good. Where do you fall today? And what is that kind of roller coaster of shame been like for you throughout your lifetime?

00:01:00:17 - 00:01:21:15

Adam

Right. So it's somewhat depends on who I'm with, but if I had to give an average, I would say I'm probably between a two and a three. It started way higher when I was younger, coming from a somewhat more traditional background, probably say I was in the six range and as I got older, went out in the world and started realizing that sex is normal.

00:01:21:15 - 00:01:36:11

Adam

Slowly, surely. It definitely kept getting lower and lower. I got to actually maybe get to five until I met Jane, who the book is about, and she basically took me down to the to area, showed me that, hey, sex is normal and wonderful.

00:01:36:12 - 00:01:40:07

Luna

So is Jane. The risk that you sort.

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Adam

Of Jane is Jane is the risk.

00:01:42:11 - 00:01:56:17

Luna

Okay? Oh, okay. And can you give us just an idea of what Manhattan traditional is like? Like, I know all of us have such different backgrounds. Like, what was kind of that texture, like for you growing up?

00:01:56:18 - 00:02:20:16

Adam

Sure. I mean, I grew up in New York City, so my traditional is probably some other areas of the country incredibly liberal. But non-monogamy wasn't even that wasn't even a word. It was the traditional of, oh, you'll meet a girl and you'll get together and you'll get married and you'll have kids. I grew up with that paradigm throughout my life, and I remember the very first time I ever heard the word non-monogamous.

00:02:20:16 - 00:02:40:03

Adam

I think I was in like 2021, and I was like, oh, that's what I'm feeling. So when I say group traditional, obviously there's a lot of very liberal ideas in New York City. But the idea of one life, one way for monogamy was sort of the default. So that's what I mean by traditional monogamy. Default monogamy.

00:02:40:05 - 00:02:59:18

Luna

That relationship escalator where you just keep going and going until you do the wrong thing and you don't even know if there's another option. Okay. So on that note, as you reflect on your personal life, like when you just kind of look back on all of it and think about, you know, the euphemisms, the social norms, the cultural messages, polite.

00:02:59:18 - 00:03:16:16

Luna

I'm assuming that with air quotes like white lies that are supposed to be polite or theoretically polite, they're literally like, I call these regular human lives because it's very normal to do this. However, for me, they're very confusing and I just tell me the real thing. So as you reflect on kind of some of that, you know what I'm talking about, like the euphemism vibe, the niceness of our culture.

00:03:16:18 - 00:03:37:05

Luna

I would love to hear how, like, maybe any of those messages negatively affected your ability to give, receive or understand the pleasure. So this is a this is a new questions, a new noodle. But it's like, you know, you've had this kind of awakening right where you are in a headspace now with non-monogamy, what's vastly different from what you were raised with?

00:03:37:07 - 00:03:52:02

Luna

And I wonder if there were any moments of waking up to sort of some of the cultural norms that it's like, oh, that's, that's a regular human lie. Like, I don't actually have to live that way, you know? And that were any of those things a block to your pleasure? I mean, monogamy itself, right?

00:03:52:04 - 00:04:08:20

Adam

Yeah. I mean, the basically the monogamy idea that the thought of only being attracted to one woman, that was the biggest lie. Oh, you're once you find the right woman, you're only going to be attracted to her. That was the first thing. And I thought there was something wrong with me because I was attracted to most of the women.

00:04:08:22 - 00:04:14:06

Luna

I mean, yeah, me too. Like, I'm, like, attracted to everyone. And I just have to figure out when on off switch and literally speed.

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Adam

And when I look at, I'm like, I wonder what sex with her would be like.

00:04:18:14 - 00:04:19:15

Luna

Yeah.

00:04:19:17 - 00:04:34:02

Adam

Once I finally got past that, it did open up a lot of pleasure. That was the biggest one, I think anal play as well. That was that, yes. Oh, no. Someone touched my asshole. Oh my god, no. But oh wait, that feels kind of good. Yeah, that was a big one.

00:04:34:07 - 00:04:49:17

Luna

Yeah. I didn't even know it's a thing until a partner was like and this. And I was like, it was a what? I'll try it. What? You are. So you said you were 21 or 20 ish when you first heard about non-monogamy. Do you remember when how, where like what that was.

00:04:49:19 - 00:05:17:07

Adam

Gosh, I don't remember. I remember the emotion very clearly. I do not remember where I was, but I remember I heard the word non-monogamous and it's like this light bulb went off. It's like, oh, that's what I am. That's what I had been doing. I, I was somewhere out on one of my sports adventure worlds, which is kind of the little book teases all those in, but I think I was with some of my venture partners and someone said that they were non-monogamous.

00:05:17:09 - 00:05:21:10

Adam

I just was like this light bulb. Like it just it was vocabulary I didn't even know was out there.

00:05:21:15 - 00:05:21:23

Luna

Okay.

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Adam

It was I mean, I mean, this was 30 years ago at this point.

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Luna

So, yeah, you know.

00:05:25:19 - 00:05:27:06

Adam

It's a very different world than.

00:05:27:06 - 00:05:42:19

Luna

We're in now. Okay. But before we get to all of the details of that story before then, what are the first memories that you have of sex, especially sex education. But like, when did you first hear about it? What did you learn about it growing up? Like tell us your formative years.

00:05:42:21 - 00:06:05:06

Adam

So I was very lucky growing up in New York City and we had sex education. I think the first such education we had was in fourth grade and it was pretty good. I went to public school in New York and the sex education that we got in fourth grade was looking back now, it was pretty good, but my mom was a public school teacher, so when I was in second grade, she actually gave me my very first sex education.

00:06:05:06 - 00:06:21:17

Adam

I remember this so clearly. She sat me down with the book and said, this is where babies come from. And she went through the whole thing of penis and vagina and man and woman loving each other and creating a baby. And this is how it works. And I was totally blown away. And I went to school the next day.

00:06:21:17 - 00:06:28:10

Adam

I remember this so completely, like told one of my best friends, did you know this is how babies are made? And he goes, that's not true. That's happening.

00:06:28:14 - 00:06:32:05

Luna

To me.

00:06:32:07 - 00:06:36:10

Luna

What was your reaction to that? Were you like, oh, maybe I'm wrong, or were you like, no, it is.

00:06:36:12 - 00:06:46:15

Adam

No. I knew I was right because my mom showed me the bottom like, yeah, and I total trust in my mom. Like she was right. And I think I think eventually he came back to me. I was like, oh, well, you're right by the way.

00:06:46:17 - 00:06:47:05

Luna

Yeah.

00:06:47:07 - 00:07:13:20

Adam

But this is second grade. That was my first experience of learning about sex. My first feelings of sex were probably even maybe earlier. I was always been very sexual, always had a really high sex drive. And I remember just feeling pleasure in my groin and like, oh, that feels good. And before I was old enough to orgasm, I remember having these just incredible, just powerful feelings down in my groin that I couldn't explain.

00:07:13:20 - 00:07:45:19

Adam

And it's like, wow, that feels really good. And then I was lucky when I was 13, in my neighborhood, there were a few neighborhood girls that were fairly adventurous as I was and we'd started the four of us, myself and these three girls started getting together after school and getting naked and playing with each other's parts. And so I was having these foursome when we didn't have any penetrative sex, but we used mouths and tongues on body parts, and those were my first sexual experiences with these three women.

00:07:45:21 - 00:07:56:19

Luna

Wow. Okay. So what unfolded from there? And at the time, did you have any concept that that was sexual or was it just curiosity play for you at that moment?

00:07:56:21 - 00:08:18:20

Adam

No, I it was sexual. Definitely sexual. Yeah. And I remember one of the are we were all 13. But one of the girls she had gone through her puberty already very, very well and had these huge breasts. And I was just totally overcome with her curves. I was there was very sexual to me. It was very arousing. It was just all I wanted to do was play with her curves.

00:08:18:22 - 00:08:21:07

Adam

Wow. I learned that very clearly.

00:08:21:09 - 00:08:43:18

Luna

Okay. Looking back at your younger years, was there any aspect of sex education that you wish you had had? You know, whether that's emotional context and any sort of other conversations like what do you wish, like if you could have like bopped down a fairy genie teacher to teach you sexy things, like how would you filled in your experiences?

00:08:43:20 - 00:09:04:07

Adam

Even with all the sex education that I have, there was still a shame element to it and a taboo element, even with all the good sex that I had with my mom, even my mom was like, is it's one woman, one man kind of thing. It would have been nice to learn that people can choose to do something different for some reason, and I do not know why.

00:09:04:09 - 00:09:24:10

Adam

I had a lot of shame around masturbation when I was 15, 16, 17, and I don't know why. I don't remember ever being told, certainly by adults, that it was wrong. It may have just been the environment of children making fun of, you know, don't be a masturbator who knows what. But I remember having a lot of shame around that growing up.

00:09:24:10 - 00:09:35:18

Adam

And it wasn't until I got into my probably college, maybe even later, 21, 22, that I started actually really letting go of that and going, oh, masturbation is fun. So what if I do it five times a day, right?

00:09:35:19 - 00:09:40:11

Luna

Okay. Was there anything that catalyzed that, or was it sort of just part of your evolution?

00:09:40:13 - 00:09:50:17

Adam

I think it's just part of my evolution. There is something back there I can't access that. There's a memory back there of a moment when I finally decided it was okay, but I can't remember what that catalyst was.

00:09:50:17 - 00:10:11:19

Luna

Okay, okay, so between the am I a bad person if I say it loud, 13 year old foursomes and your college years? Well, I mean, you know, but also I do want to point out in a very serious way, this is the problem when it comes to like adults educating around childhood experiences. Right? We're not allowed to talk to unless you are an educator for a school.

00:10:11:19 - 00:10:27:23

Luna

It's like we are curious at young ages. And so it's like people were like, oh, you're perfect. You're but it's like, well, a lot of us had experiences at younger ages. So in a very serious way. What else Performatively happened between your 13 year old? Kind of like exploring your body with others and your college age where you're like, I like masturbating.

00:10:27:23 - 00:10:31:22

Luna

Like, what else is important from from those years?

00:10:32:00 - 00:10:52:05

Adam

Well, the first thing was, as I got older, advised to step outside the sex for a second. As I started getting older and growing up in New York City in the late 80s, which was a pretty rough and tumble place to be. There's so much adventure on the streets. I started getting addicted to exciting adventures, and that just then translated to the bedroom, right?

00:10:52:06 - 00:11:04:17

Adam

My first sexual experiences were with these women. Like there was two, three, four of us in the bed at the same time. So it was exciting having wild and wild and crazy. I'm using air quotes, wild and crazy sex. Ooh, group sex right?

00:11:04:21 - 00:11:26:17

Luna

But it is so exciting, especially in those young years. Like it's dopamine through the roof. I think that is still just just so, you know, you're talking to a person that like most of my significant life choices, have been made in pursuit of satisfying, like next level sex. Like I am seeking it. I don't I don't think of it as a risk, but I think of it as like nutrients.

00:11:26:22 - 00:11:31:03

Luna

So I would love to hear any details of those experiences that you feel comfortable.

00:11:31:05 - 00:11:48:21

Adam

Sure, I was lucky in high school and did have a number of sexual experiences with women, but when I got to college somehow and I don't know how, I ended up connecting with a few pairs of women who liked taking a bike home. And I and I ended up just having a lot of these threesomes in college, which was fantastic.

00:11:48:23 - 00:12:09:23

Adam

It was amazing. I had first I had a girlfriend like my freshman year, so I was actually monogamous through my freshman year, and then we broke up, and then I started hooking up with these two women, and they were hooking up with other people. And I think that maybe that was when I heard the I can't remember, but I started the adventure of New partners, and the adventure of discovering a new body was phenomenal.

00:12:09:23 - 00:12:37:02

Adam

I still, I was very young, let's say 2021. I still would not say I was very good at sex, so I didn't know how to make sex good, but if it was adventurous, it felt good. So I think the adventure was sort of taking the place of the experience level at that point. I love adventure, but once I actually started learning how to have sex, I started being able to get a lot more enjoyment out of partnered sex as I got better and better knowing someone's body.

00:12:37:08 - 00:12:44:09

Adam

So there was an evolution there for sure. But the excitement of the new body, the excitement of a new environment, that was kind of cool.

00:12:44:11 - 00:13:09:00

Luna

I love that I would love to take just a little detour to here, kind of your current definitions of good sex, right? Because it's very, I think, difficult for us to put a label or definition on. And it's something that I think for me has been evolving over the years. So I would love to hear kind of like what you learned and especially in reference to these words, good and better.

00:13:09:00 - 00:13:12:02

Luna

Like, how are you kind of thinking about that or quantifying that?

00:13:12:04 - 00:13:27:10

Adam

So I had fantastic sex with a one night earlier this year, and I had fantastic sex with someone I've known for 30 years, and they're both very different. They're both incredibly satisfying. So maybe I'll describe those two, those two experiences.

00:13:27:10 - 00:13:30:03

Luna

I love examples.

00:13:30:05 - 00:14:07:09

Adam

The woman I've known for 30 years. When we get together and we have a glass of wine and we start getting sexy and we start knowing each other's bodies, we know what pushes each other's buttons, and we sink into a sultry ness of connection. It's so impossible to get that without a depth of shared experience. And when you can call on that history, there's a connection, and that makes the pleasure and makes the carrying, and there's a bond that there's no other way to get that except with time and a session like that where I don't know how many an hour or two hours, whatever it is, and then you collapse in bed together and

00:14:07:09 - 00:14:25:06

Adam

you've you've both just exhausted yourselves, and you're lying there looking at the ceiling and just feeling so close because you know the person beyond. It's like a next level intimacy. And then you sleep so well, it's you just you're you're in the arms of someone. You you've just had this great experience with and you feel so connected to.

00:14:25:06 - 00:14:32:03

Adam

And that's the measure, right? How well you sleep. Right. It's like, oh my God, I've been exhausted by sex with someone I love.

00:14:32:03 - 00:14:40:12

Luna

It's a true fact that we have higher levels of prolactin release. The thing that makes us sleepy after partnered sex than we do after masturbation. It's a thing.

00:14:40:14 - 00:15:10:18

Adam

I believe in. And then I went on to, a friend of mine connected me with a woman earlier. This actually probably about a year ago now, and I met her and we went out and had a drink. And then we were just feeling the energy. And then we went back to my place. And I'm 53. We've fucked for like 12 hours, and I came four times in 12 hours, and I was just like, I haven't come four times in 12 hours and I can't remember what happened.

00:15:10:20 - 00:15:30:18

Adam

And it we both were just like, Holy shit, that was incredible. It was I mean, we didn't sleep very well because it was weird sleeping with someone when you were a brand new person. Yeah, but my God, the sex we kept waking up and having sex with each other was so hot. So both of those are examples of just and just the novelty in the new body and the adventure of it.

00:15:30:18 - 00:15:33:09

Adam

It's really exciting when it's a brand new body.

00:15:33:11 - 00:15:55:17

Luna

I too am a person who loves exploring new bodies like they are magical mysteries. I have a brain too that's very good at like remembering this person is not that person. And so I really bring my beginner's mind of my meditation practice to every body that I fuck and engage with. And that for me is a big part of being with a new person.

00:15:55:17 - 00:16:10:15

Luna

Right? That unknown. And then, of course, as you said, building that trust and hotness is yummy. What are your favorite parts of discovering a new body? If you can put it into words like energetically, specifically like, what are your favorites about newness?

00:16:10:17 - 00:16:16:23

Adam

My favorites about newness, I. So I gotta hope that doesn't. This doesn't come out wrong.

00:16:17:01 - 00:16:22:19

Luna

If someone's judging you for sharing vulnerably, then they have some self-reflection to do because this is a fresh noodle.

00:16:22:22 - 00:16:33:02

Adam

All right. Excellent. One of my favorite things about a novel experience is being objectified. Not being thought of as just a hot bod or hard cock, like.

00:16:33:02 - 00:16:33:23

Luna

Oh.

00:16:33:23 - 00:16:39:03

Adam

Just. Yeah, like I'm just a tool. Like I'm a fuck to I know.

00:16:39:05 - 00:16:41:11

Luna

Yeah.

00:16:41:13 - 00:17:03:13

Adam

You just can't get that from the partner you've known for 30 years. I just, someone can't look at you with those new eyes. Someone sees my body for the first time and I've been an athlete my whole life and I still it's just amazing. And when they disappear, they run their hands over you. And they're just exploring the contours and learning the new nooks and crannies and seeing someone's eyes light up.

00:17:03:13 - 00:17:22:06

Adam

Like, I love that. That's that's probably the best part about, yeah, the newness being objectified and being able to objectify. Like, here's a woman who just wants to get fucked and be connected sexually and that's it. When she doesn't know me. She met me an hour ago, but she's already just wants to be fucked by me. And I love that.

00:17:22:09 - 00:17:23:14

Adam

It's a powerful feeling.

00:17:23:16 - 00:17:39:09

Luna

I fucking love that. Jumping back to your college years real quick, what do you think made you such a great choice for the penis in threesomes? Like do you think you gave us like a threesome vibe? Or were you like a secure dude? Or was it like, hey, I had a threesome with these and word started getting around?

00:17:39:09 - 00:17:41:19

Luna

Or like, what do you what do you attribute that to?

00:17:41:21 - 00:17:56:23

Adam

I honestly don't know. And my wife and I have actually ex-wife and I have had conversations about it. She's seen it too. And she's like, what is it? You seem to attract people who like x, y, z. I don't understand how people just look at you and know because you don't put it like I don't. I'm not overly sexual.

00:17:56:23 - 00:18:00:05

Adam

Like I don't talk about sex a lot. I'm not. Sex is not part of my profession.

00:18:00:05 - 00:18:09:23

Luna

Is probably good if you want to have a sex life. I've discovered the hard way. So you don't have a tattoo that says I like threesomes, like on the back of your neck or anything?

00:18:10:01 - 00:18:12:08

Adam

I do not, I do not.

00:18:12:10 - 00:18:25:23

Luna

I shouldn't get one of those, right. Part of me is like, how should I signal stronger? I don't have a tattoo. I like girls do. Okay, I'm being silly, but so you. So you really have no idea?

00:18:26:01 - 00:18:39:10

Adam

I don't it keeps happening to me. And I had a climbing partner once came up. We were on a climbing trip, and we came back and he said, hey, I'd really love you to help me fuck my girlfriend. And I was like, what if he goes, yeah.

00:18:39:12 - 00:18:40:07

Luna

And I was like.

00:18:40:09 - 00:18:43:05

Adam

How would you know? I mean, I'd never done that before.

00:18:43:05 - 00:18:44:17

Luna

And okay, how is he?

00:18:44:18 - 00:18:50:19

Adam

Felt comfortable enough to ask, but I was like, yeah, let's try that. Oh, I mean, it was amazing.

00:18:50:21 - 00:19:02:05

Luna

Oh man. I recently thought I was about to have my first male male with me, and I, I got so close and then it didn't happen. So that's still my, my current first holy grail.

00:19:02:11 - 00:19:14:19

Adam

My ex wife. The double penetration was her holy grail, and I yeah, see, I, I really ended up finding out I really liked being one of the penises and the double penetration.

00:19:14:19 - 00:19:24:03

Luna

We do care which one. Like, do you prefer to be the big dude? Tell us details, tell us details. This seems like a good time for you to tell us details of your delights of double penetration.

00:19:24:05 - 00:19:34:13

Adam

Well, first one, I had that first MFM with my climbing partner. We didn't do a double penetration. It was just mouth and vagina. I guess that's a double penetration, but not a deep.

00:19:34:15 - 00:19:36:16

Luna

Is spit roast. I'm learning on.

00:19:36:16 - 00:19:53:07

Adam

It. Right. There you go, there you go. This is for us. So when I started getting scared for my wife, which is the whole story of the book, and she's the sexual powerhouse. I mean, like, I'm looking at this woman like, oh, my God, I am not worthy. As far as her sexual appetite and her sexual experience was.

00:19:53:07 - 00:20:09:23

Adam

And so this is about the week. The rest like going into a relationship with someone who just has so much more experience than I did. And she floated the idea, would you be okay to do this? And I said, yeah, sure, I'll try that. Why not? Let's do it. I said, but I want to be in the ask.

00:20:10:01 - 00:20:21:01

Adam

And she said, well, that's great because you're really good at anal sex. So yeah, let's and so apparently it's pretty hard to find or this is 15 years ago. It's kind of hard to find another willing penis owner.

00:20:21:04 - 00:20:22:19

Luna

Depends on the circles you run in.

00:20:22:19 - 00:20:31:12

Adam

I hear that is true, but even she ran some pretty progressive circles in you can actually find someone. But then generally this performance issue we found out a lot of the.

00:20:31:12 - 00:20:32:16

Luna

Time people get nervous.

00:20:32:16 - 00:20:36:08

Adam

Penises require some stimulation, and sometimes it doesn't always work.

00:20:36:11 - 00:20:46:11

Luna

Well, here's the thing if we all had more MFS and more forms, maybe the penises wouldn't get so nervous. I'm just sayin. We just got to practice. You. You know.

00:20:46:13 - 00:21:06:09

Adam

You are 100% right. Actually. So it was wild. And what I loved about it is how much pleasure she got, like seeing her in ecstasy. And that's where she comes over and over and over again from having two penises. And it was great being that anchor for being the guy who could always. Yeah, it was hot.

00:21:06:12 - 00:21:17:23

Luna

Did you get to do different positions? Like, was she like on you kind of spooning or like what? Or was she facing you like, well, you give us some physical. I always just like love hearing the descriptions of physically like what some configurations were.

00:21:18:01 - 00:21:40:17

Adam

It's usually the other guy would be laying down, okay. And I would be in her ass. She would be straddling him, I'd be in her ass. And then while she's on my my cock, I would lift her up and put her onto the other penis. And then she would have both of us inside her. And then you can totally feel the other guy's cock rubbing against yours in between the match between walls.

00:21:40:19 - 00:21:59:21

Luna

I love that so much. And in the asshole. Well, tell me if you can really feel this on your cock, because one of my greatest like obsessions is when the partner is coming. Or like if I'm in my asshole or partner's asshole, like during the orgasm time. Like the squeezing. I love feeling the asshole specifically squeeze. Can you feel it on your cock?

00:21:59:21 - 00:22:02:03

Luna

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I just think that's.

00:22:02:03 - 00:22:08:03

Adam

When a woman orgasms and my penis is in her ass. Yeah, it's absolutely just clench is boom.

00:22:08:09 - 00:22:22:11

Luna

It's locked. It's completely different from when my fingers are in my pussy. Like, it's a completely different feeling. Like it. And it turns me on in a completely different way. And it doesn't matter if I'm in the ass of a penis owner or a pussy owner. Like I like it. I really like that's where I'm like, no, we are all one.

00:22:22:11 - 00:22:47:18

Luna

We all have something in common. I love assholes, they squeeze my ass. Exactly. That's so cool. Okay, so I really made your story go very squiggly out of order. But between these college years, when you were kind of like having all these threesomes, discovering that you weren't monogamous, like, was there a time gap between claiming the non-monogamy? Like, at what point did you meet your former wife?

00:22:47:18 - 00:22:53:16

Luna

And also just like as a person who had high desire, I'm like, how do I not scare the boys?

00:22:53:18 - 00:22:55:04

Adam

Just gotta find the right boys.

00:22:55:05 - 00:22:56:17

Luna

Oh, maybe that's it. Okay, maybe.

00:22:56:17 - 00:22:57:23

Adam

They need to read my book.

00:22:58:01 - 00:22:59:21

Luna

Yes. Go read the book.

00:22:59:22 - 00:23:04:07

Adam

The book is about. If she scares you, you should probably go date her.

00:23:04:09 - 00:23:06:09

Luna

Interesting. Well, okay. We'll.

00:23:06:10 - 00:23:07:06

Adam

We'll get we'll get there.

00:23:07:06 - 00:23:30:02

Luna

So as we were talking about with how sometimes people in these novels situations, penis owners maybe go flaccid because it's so new, it's overwhelming. However, you and I are also the type of people that can get turned on by novelty, and I personally have some days where my body is like in concordance, basically like it's on the same page and my arousal matches my arousal in my brain.

00:23:30:02 - 00:23:50:03

Luna

And then I've had days where my body is like, like I'm not going to cum because I'm so turned on and I'm so paying attention to everything, you know, and usually at that moment I need like a lot of impact play to get kind of bolted back into my body. Have you had both experiences with novelty, or are you so turned on by novelty that it just like keeps you turned on?

00:23:50:05 - 00:23:54:11

Adam

So I've never had a situation where I couldn't come when I wanted to.

00:23:54:12 - 00:23:58:16

Luna

Whoa, whoa. Ever. Never. Not once.

00:23:58:18 - 00:24:04:22

Adam

I mean, I swear there was some nights when I'd probably done some drugs and I couldn't. Okay. In terms of any any normal.

00:24:05:00 - 00:24:17:17

Luna

Wow. Are you aware that hyper unusual. Like, like most people. Yeah, because I know a lot of penis owners who don't know that that's unusual. So I'm trying to spread the word of, like, it's very normal for penises to not. Yeah. You know. Yeah.

00:24:17:18 - 00:24:25:23

Adam

My wife, who has been with more men than anyone else I know of, and she was always like, you're not normal. Your cock is not normal.

00:24:26:01 - 00:24:29:02

Luna

No abnormal cock is like, yeah.

00:24:29:08 - 00:24:30:00

Adam

I be normal.

00:24:30:05 - 00:24:37:00

Luna

And be normal. Okay, cool. Okay, so so go back to filling in your details because I totally derailed you with a detailed question.

00:24:37:02 - 00:24:59:12

Adam

Right? So I mean, I didn't have so I had a few three sets and threesomes in college. I don't know if you call it a lot or a little, but then after college, I got into the dating world and I knew I liked casual sex and I was having some casual sex. And then I had my first real partner at 25, like long term got into it and we would occasionally have a threesome with someone else.

00:24:59:12 - 00:25:04:12

Adam

And boy, I felt like, hey, I'm living this wild life. I had threesomes.

00:25:04:14 - 00:25:11:01

Luna

Yeah, I still feel like that every time I have a threesome. Just so you know, I'm still like, yeah.

00:25:11:03 - 00:25:30:10

Adam

No, but this this is actually relevant. Why? So I, you know, I had this five year relationship with this woman. That was it was good. And we had anal sex. Oh. We're freaky. We had anal sex. I still didn't know what kink in my head. I was kinky because I liked anal and we occasionally had threesomes. Now during this period is during the years I was competing in extreme sports and such.

00:25:30:10 - 00:25:54:03

Adam

And so I had this real very, very masculine dominated idea about sexuality and about my relationships. And this will tie into this story in a minute. And we exited that. We broke up when I was about 30, and then I had a few other relationships that were similar to that one, where we had a lot of sexual energy, and occasionally we had other people join us in the bedroom.

00:25:54:06 - 00:26:04:23

Adam

Sometimes as I got into mid 30s, I had a girlfriend where we actually went on a website and found another couple, and so I'm like, I'd never, never done that. And I was like, well, I'm.

00:26:05:00 - 00:26:09:02

Luna

I'm living like parallel where you like in the same room. Tell us details.

00:26:09:04 - 00:26:26:04

Adam

Yes, on the same room, all four of us on the same bed. And that was while. And then we went to a sex party together. This. And so this is this. Now I'm fully exploring ethical non-monogamy. And we go to this sex party. Never been to one before, and we were totally scared and newbies and didn't know what we were doing.

00:26:26:09 - 00:26:39:06

Adam

We went to like a meet up at a bar because we read it. We were on a website somewhere. We went to the bar and there was a bunch of people there and they said, hey, we're going back to someone's house. Do you guys want to go? We were like, oh no, no, no, no, we're not going to go.

00:26:39:06 - 00:27:00:12

Adam

And they gave us the address like, well, if you change your mind, here's the address. And so we sat in the car for 20 minutes. Like do we go because we both wanted to go, but we were terrified okay. And so we, we go to this sex party and we knock on the door and they open up and everyone's naked except that they're fully clothed and we're like, okay, we're going to keep our clothes on just because we were nervous.

00:27:00:12 - 00:27:13:03

Adam

And after about ten minutes we're like, okay, we can't keep our clothes on. We'll just go down our under, we're not hooking up, and then we're down our underwear and then the underwear came off and like, okay, well, maybe just some kissing and touching. We're not really. And then by the end of the night, we were having sex with everyone.

00:27:13:03 - 00:27:30:14

Adam

It was like this crazy, wild. And all 12 of us were in this room with mattresses. And that was my first sex party experience. That was pretty wild. And it was. We were the newbies. They all knew each other, so everyone was paying attention to us. And I remember at one point I'm like, on my back, I have five women just totally touching.

00:27:30:14 - 00:27:35:00

Adam

And I look over at my girlfriend, she's got five men on her, totally touching.

00:27:35:02 - 00:27:42:06

Luna

Oh my God, I want to have five women and men touching me that don't. That sounds like a great first sex party. How was it for you guys?

00:27:42:08 - 00:28:03:23

Adam

It's great. We had. Yeah, it was awesome. Yeah, we still talk about it. It's hilarious. Yeah, she's one of my best friends and that was my evolution of thinking like, oh, I'm. I'm a God. Look at all this great sex I'm having. Look how masculine I am. I'm having threesomes with women. And then I met Jane, who is the person the stories about and she thought my level of sexual experience was adorable.

00:28:04:01 - 00:28:04:09

Luna

Yeah.

00:28:04:14 - 00:28:24:05

Adam

She's like, oh, that's cute. Oh, you have three sons. Isn't that adorable? I was like, wait, wait, what? She's like, yeah, I slept with 500 people. And I was like, what's the craziest thing you've ever done sexually? And she was like, once got gang bangs and boycotted by 12 men. And I was like, I don't even know what peacocking means.

00:28:24:07 - 00:28:33:23

Luna

So how did you meet? Like, what was that like for you? And I'm guessing it's the first person that you met who was kind of like that. Right. And it was all just in her personal life. Or was she a sexual professional of any sort?

00:28:34:01 - 00:28:53:18

Adam

No, she was sexual professional. She was getting a PhD in human psychology with focus on human sexuality. Sex educator. She'd, written books. Who's a social media person or was going to be not at that point. She was still in school, but I met her at a dinner party at my house. Some friends brought her. They picked her up at a club a few weeks later, having these crazy threesomes with her.

00:28:53:20 - 00:29:12:23

Adam

But what struck me is just who she was as a person is how I really got attracted to. I mean, she's gorgeous, but she was a really interesting individual and as we got to know each other over the next couple of years, we just connected on some non sexually. Like we didn't really have any sexual experiences. We were just becoming friends and we had so much in common.

00:29:12:23 - 00:29:32:20

Adam

She was really into extreme sports. She was also a big adventurer. Her love novelty into theater, art, music, all our tastes were the same food. We just connected on so many levels. And this was a woman that I. I was so attracted to her physically, but then I was also so attracted to her mentally. But she's like, look, I'm non-monogamous.

00:29:32:20 - 00:29:57:01

Adam

If you want to be with me, this is going to be way beyond anything you've ever experienced. And so there was this decision point of that's the not the book, Seek the Risk. And I kind of went for it because it turned my world completely upside down, because she was such a public person. My entire friend network, my professional network, everybody knew, oh, Adam's in an open relationship with this self-described slut, right?

00:29:57:01 - 00:30:10:01

Adam

And I'm using air quotes. But she that's how she described herself. And my entire world got turned upside down. I knew it was going to. And yet I was like, all right, let's go. I want to be with this woman. Let's see what this non-monogamy thing is really like.

00:30:10:03 - 00:30:21:16

Luna

Okay, so even though you, like, identified yourself as non-monogamous in your early 20s, this was the moment where you were like, I'm going to put it to the test. Like I'm gonna practice it.

00:30:21:18 - 00:30:26:18

Adam

Yeah. My nominated me up to that point had been my girlfriend and I having a woman join.

00:30:26:18 - 00:30:27:18

Luna

Us for another.

00:30:27:18 - 00:30:34:12

Adam

Couple. And Jane was saying, listen, I'm going to fuck whoever I want whenever I want to. They agreed.

00:30:34:14 - 00:30:38:00

Luna

Usually. Yeah. Consensual. Illegal consensual. Yeah yeah yeah.

00:30:38:03 - 00:30:50:06

Adam

Yeah. And I had never that kind of blew my head. And that's where I started questioning all these things about my own masculinity. And people were like, oh, you're a cuckold. And it was a very difficult time for me.

00:30:50:08 - 00:31:09:14

Luna

Based on your introduction. That's not one of your kinks, right? Do you not like Into the Cult? And you also don't identify as a stag, like, you're not like, here's my wife, let me share her. Or like, was that part okay, okay. What about like, reclaiming? I have so many fantasies of meeting someone who, like, wants to reclaim me when I come home from other partners, but be my main person.

00:31:09:16 - 00:31:15:23

Luna

Like, was that part of the turn turnout? Like, I would love to hear the turn ons and turn off. You discovered through this relationship. I mean, we covered the DP bit.

00:31:16:01 - 00:31:32:16

Adam

So initially it was a turn off, thinking of her with other men and I had to put it out of my head. I had to pretend it wasn't happening. We had sort of a don't ask, don't tell kind of relationship, and she was also up at school and I was down in New York City, so we would only see each other for 2 or 4 day weekends a month.

00:31:32:18 - 00:31:45:20

Adam

And the rule initially was, look, whatever you do at school, you do at school, I'll do whatever I want in New York. And then when we're together, we're only together or we're having threesomes or whatever. But I'm just going to pretend that's not happening because it was too threatening to me.

00:31:45:21 - 00:31:48:13

Luna

Does that make you feel far away from your partner, though?

00:31:48:15 - 00:32:05:20

Adam

Well, again, this is early in the relationship and was still and if this is the first year and a half, two years, the relationship, it was so good when we were together like it was so good. She was is one of the most present people I know. When you're with her 100%, she's they're connected. So it was hard when we weren't there.

00:32:05:20 - 00:32:13:01

Adam

That is true. I had some pretty hard nights, but then we were together. It felt so good. But answer your other question. There was no reclaiming kink or anything like that.

00:32:13:07 - 00:32:22:21

Luna

Okay, so what did you learn about yourself in this journey of you thought the risk like what were the parts that felt edgy? What were the parts that were really rewarding for you?

00:32:22:23 - 00:32:37:17

Adam

So, you know, it's funny, I was listening to one of your episodes and you talk about, I forget what you said, but you said the struggle, like, the more you have to struggle and something, the more the value is, the more the return is. When when you get there. I can't remember exactly what your words were, but you.

00:32:37:17 - 00:32:38:19

Luna

Sounds like something I'm.

00:32:38:21 - 00:32:56:18

Adam

Gonna tell Casey not to tell her. I think that's. Oh, nothing worth doing is going to be easy. Thank you. Said there's no actual growth without struggle. So that's kind of what the first part of the book about is, is me. Well, I really want to be with this woman. And this non-monogamy thing is bringing up all these emotions around jealousy and masculinity.

00:32:56:20 - 00:33:13:03

Adam

And if these emotions are coming up, this probably something really good to learn there about myself. And those were the things that I just decided, well, I'm going to dive into what is a Socrates and examine life. Examine life is the only life worth living. I think it was Socrates. It was Aristotle. Can't remember.

00:33:13:06 - 00:33:22:12

Luna

I don't know. Yeah, but I do like to examine our lives and be thoughtful about it, but not self judgmental. Got to practice to be loving all the way through.

00:33:22:14 - 00:33:42:08

Adam

So I just I dove into the emotions. And it was it was terrifying. It was scary. And I thought I was this tough guy because of all these things I did in the extreme sports. Well, all the competition I did and I believed I could handle anything because I have experienced things that a lot of people have. And then I got totally broken down by this relationship.

00:33:42:08 - 00:34:09:16

Adam

I became a shell of who I was. I lost my sense of self. I lost my sense of masculinity. I was jealous, and I just was like, okay, I have to start examining this as if it was an extreme sport and there's an environment I don't understand, and there are skills here that I do not have yet. So I have to start understanding what I need to do to get to the point where I can start not only being okay with it, but actually appreciate it, and then eventually getting turned on by it.

00:34:09:18 - 00:34:28:10

Adam

And I this journey of trying to take it just tiny step by tiny step by tiny step. And the amazing thing about the journey I went on is that I, I really set out to fall deeper in love with Jane, but I ended up falling deeper in love with me because I had to really understand myself so much.

00:34:28:12 - 00:34:55:08

Adam

And that's the beauty to me. That is the beauty of non-monogamy. Yes, that all those emotions that it brings up, all those thoughts. There's something in there and you can learn about yourself. Non-monogamy is a sharp knife and it gets through tough skin, and the toughest person can be just broken down by jealousy and fear. But if you sink into it, and up until I wrote the book, the hardest thing I've ever done in my life was getting into this relationship with Jane.

00:34:55:10 - 00:35:01:14

Adam

Then the hardest thing I've been writing about it. I went so vulnerable in the book that I'm actually a bit surprised.

00:35:01:16 - 00:35:22:04

Luna

I can relate to that feeling. Man, that brings up so many great conversation threads. I think the thing I want to ask you about first is what I'm hearing in your story. As you tell, it is a very strong motivational factor. However, I want to observe ask to make sure I'm understanding. It doesn't sound like it's all sex related, right?

00:35:22:04 - 00:35:42:04

Luna

Like you met this incredible human like, yes, sex is a part of your story. Yes, non-monogamy is obviously woven into that. But it sounds like this human that entered your life is a growth partner, a teacher, and really is the catalyst for all of this, right? Like maybe say a little bit about the motivation because like, that's a strong willingness to do discomfort and it doesn't sound me.

00:35:42:04 - 00:35:47:03

Luna

You're like, oh, I just want to bang this chick who's a challenge, right? Like it sounds like it was so much more than that.

00:35:47:05 - 00:36:09:19

Adam

Totally. If she hadn't been the person who she was in terms of all the other connections that she and I had outside of the bedrooms, I probably wouldn't have gone on this journey. But it was. It was such a deep connection and I saw in her an opportunity to live out any sexual fantasy I ever wanted, like there was nothing that was taboo to this woman at all.

00:36:09:21 - 00:36:33:23

Adam

I mean, she may not want to do it, but you could say anything. You could express anything about sexuality. She was like, oh yeah, tell me more. There was no shit like you talk about either. Zero shame on meter with her. Like it was like negative. I'd never met anyone like that before. I'd never had that freedom to just be and sink into my own questions and my own ideas, my own fantasies and I saw in her.

00:36:34:04 - 00:36:49:08

Adam

And maybe this is an objectification and maybe this is an infatuation, but I saw a chance to live a life I can only dream about sexually with her. And that was really, really attractive.

00:36:49:10 - 00:36:50:03

Luna

Oh.

00:36:50:05 - 00:36:57:02

Adam

I mean, and also I was the neophyte. I was an absolute I went from thinking I was this sexual powerhouse to realizing I was an absolute neophyte.

00:36:57:04 - 00:37:26:08

Luna

Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's pretty cool that someone with her level of credentials experience, it sounds like like it sounds like you really did have a strong connection. If she's also willing to invest that much in a brand new non-monogamous, maybe. But I know a lot of people are a lot more patient than I am. I heard you say something about toughness and vulnerability, and at this point on your journey of self-love, like, are they even on opposite sides of the scale, or do you think they're a little bit more like interwoven?

00:37:26:08 - 00:37:33:03

Luna

Right? Do you think having all those emotions and the difficulty like, isn't that the toughness or like, how do you understand toughness now on the other side, you are.

00:37:33:09 - 00:37:58:19

Adam

Absolutely 100, 100% right. And the ending of the book or the last couple chapters is where I start sinking into what's tough is being vulnerable and being okay and sharing. So when I first came out as open by basically dating Jane and she said, oh, we're open for my extreme sports competitors. And a friend said, you let other guys fuck your woman.

00:37:58:19 - 00:38:01:18

Adam

What's wrong with you? Like, obviously not judging them.

00:38:01:18 - 00:38:10:05

Luna

Oh, that's like the worst case scenario. Voices out loud at you like a real person. Whoa. What did you say?

00:38:10:07 - 00:38:14:18

Adam

I said I don't let her fuck other guys any more than I let her be female.

00:38:14:20 - 00:38:15:22

Luna

Just who? Just who.

00:38:15:23 - 00:38:46:14

Adam

She is. Just who she is. That is what I said, I thought I thought that was a pretty good response. But what's interesting is fast forward ten years and now I'm working on the book and he and I are driving to a destination. We're going backcountry skiing. We do a lot of extreme stuff, and he's asking me questions about the book, and he says, you know, and he's been married for a while, and he says, I really wish I could have sex with other women, but there's no way I could let my wife have sex with other men, so I'm not going to do it.

00:38:46:16 - 00:38:55:22

Adam

And then he says, you know what? You are a far stronger man than I am. It's the same guy. Wow. Yeah. Incredible.

00:38:56:04 - 00:39:14:12

Luna

Although I love that story and that example of, like, friends continuing these conversations over the course of years and also like what a good example of like, okay, we have a different opinion. You're not gonna be like, hey, fuck you, friend, bye. We're not friends anymore. You say, okay, well, maybe we can continue to know each other and learn from each other.

00:39:14:13 - 00:39:34:15

Adam

Yeah, a lot of what I talk about in the book is my deep. I have deep, deep friendships with people 20, 30, 40 years. My newest friend is ten years. We've been friends for ten years. He's now he's finally reaching real friends status. I cultivate deep, long friendships in my life because it is. That is the point of being alive is relationships above all else.

00:39:34:17 - 00:39:52:08

Adam

And so this particular person is someone who I competed against. And then I've done adventures with. But when he said, you're a stronger man than I, that was a moment. Then it hit home how much? Like, yeah, that's what toughness is. That's what masculinity is. It's about being the man you want to be. It's not about second party validation.

00:39:52:08 - 00:40:07:03

Adam

It's not about what everyone else thinks about you or your wife, girlfriend and what they do. It's how you hold yourself and how you carry yourself. And if it takes ten years for someone to realize, wow, you know you were right all along, you're a really tough, strong man. That's okay.

00:40:07:05 - 00:40:24:20

Luna

I fucking love that. And I really, you know, I have my own version of that, right? Like, one of the hardest partners I've ever been with is someone that I see off and on who is so unflappable, like, unshakable, just in approval of me. We're not super close, but, like, loves that I'm a slut. Loves that I'm a whore.

00:40:24:20 - 00:40:41:17

Luna

Like, loves that I just like, love to get fucked. Obviously loves that I do it safely, which I do. Okay. I want to talk about health and safety in the conversations you have with people and how that evolved over the years. But first, I want to talk about when, on this journey you discovered your own butthole and prostate massages.

00:40:41:18 - 00:40:52:12

Luna

Because I have been practicing these lately, and it's one of my favorite things to put fingers inside of people, regardless of their parts. But where was that on your journey of personally opening up?

00:40:52:14 - 00:40:54:09

Adam

Right? I think actually the first.

00:40:54:09 - 00:40:55:09

Luna

Time.

00:40:55:11 - 00:41:14:15

Adam

A woman played with my asshole, I think I was 25. Yeah. And it felt really good. And she was a lot younger. She was like 18. I had been her climbing instructor a couple of years before, and then we reconnected and she loved to be a slut, and we went out and had a great time. And then while she was going down on me, she put her finger in my ass.

00:41:14:19 - 00:41:18:01

Luna

And was without without discussion.

00:41:18:03 - 00:41:38:11

Adam

Well, it wasn't just like ram it in there. It kind of, but it was around for a while ago. And eventually since then, she was teasing it and then it went in and it was like one of the strongest orgasms I've ever had up to that point. It was phenomenal. But then it wasn't until I was with Jane, my to be wife, that that started again.

00:41:38:11 - 00:41:55:15

Adam

Like, but in between that was like ten years in between that no one had had played with that piece of me before it. And there's probably a piece of me that felt resistive to it, because I'm still learning what sex I was, learning who I was, I was learning what everything meant. It's like, oh, she played with my ass.

00:41:55:15 - 00:42:01:09

Adam

What does that mean? There's a masculinity continuum. Where where do I fit on that if I like things in my ass?

00:42:01:12 - 00:42:17:18

Luna

Totally. Well, and I certainly have also encountered penis owning partners where it's like, it's one thing if they're air quotes letting me do it right, if I'm initiating, you know, if I. And this is why I ask, really, I'm so are you would never put it in your ass type of person. So I really listen to their response.

00:42:17:18 - 00:42:34:00

Luna

So because if someone's like, no, I'm not I'm not a never no I'm not. You know, like that's one thing versus someone who's like, oh, well, you know, because I really like the positive request. Right? So it is a different thing for some people to ask for that versus to just receive it when it's offered.

00:42:34:02 - 00:42:36:06

Adam

I think I would have a hard time asking.

00:42:36:07 - 00:42:51:06

Luna

Yeah. And maybe that's across all think maybe it's not just a bad thing to. Right? I mean, some days I have a really hard time asking, unless I'm so overwhelmed by desire that I'm like, I really need to be slapped in the face by your cock. And then please think me a lot of, you know, like, but it has to get from me to a really extreme point.

00:42:51:06 - 00:43:10:21

Luna

Otherwise I'm really big on receiving what's offered. But I've started to find out how, as a submissive, I can offer more to my partners by being clear about my desires, which means I have to get to know and love myself more and more every day, actively ongoing, blah blah blah because I'm changing. But okay, so speaking of change, and normally I do this early on to like, can get it out of the way.

00:43:10:21 - 00:43:18:17

Luna

But I do want to talk about health and safety and your practices around health and safety and the conversations that you have with partners in this non-monogamous lifestyle.

00:43:18:19 - 00:43:37:00

Adam

Condoms are the default, and I get tested once every, so I'm not all that sexually active right now. This year has been six months, and I try to get tested every six months regardless of what's going on. But if I'm very sexually active every three months, once I start having sex with someone regularly, I really prefer the kind of come on.

00:43:37:02 - 00:43:39:16

Adam

I've noticed as I've gotten older, that point gets quicker and quicker.

00:43:39:17 - 00:43:47:08

Luna

Okay, is there usually a conversation that happens about like fluid bonding and like if we have sex with other people unprotected? Yeah. What is it? Yeah, something like that.

00:43:47:11 - 00:44:10:04

Adam

Once the condoms come off, it's like, hey, how many of the people you're having unprotected sex with? And if you do, let me know if you're someone new, so to speak, like, oh, we had unprotected sex. So it's communication. I wouldn't say that I'm overly militant about the conversation, but I have the conversation. It's one of those things you need to have, and I don't ask to see people's STI reports.

00:44:10:04 - 00:44:24:10

Adam

No one's ever asked to see mine. But I believe people, when they tell me when at the point where the condoms are coming off, I usually have a good feel for the person, but they're lying to me. You're not okay. I mean, listen, I'm 53 and I've had chlamydia and crabs, but not at the same time. You know?

00:44:24:12 - 00:44:37:13

Luna

Okay. It happens. I just always ask. And I just like to get it out there for the sake of normalization. Here's a question in the condom zone. Do you still use them for blowjobs or is it for penetrative sex only?

00:44:37:15 - 00:44:38:10

Adam

Only penetrative.

00:44:38:10 - 00:44:49:02

Luna

Sex? Okay, well, I just want to remind everyone that is the reason I have herpes in my throat, because I like Deep Throat. Oh. Which is another thing we got to talk about. You like receiving deep throat thing.

00:44:49:04 - 00:44:53:06

Adam

I do like detailing, but I've never really met someone who can deep throat me.

00:44:53:11 - 00:44:55:05

Luna

We. Then how do you know you like it?

00:44:55:07 - 00:45:01:07

Adam

I like it when they try to get close, but they know. And I'm sorry. People are jittery, but it's never all the way.

00:45:01:09 - 00:45:06:04

Luna

So do you have a large penis? Like, is it girthy? Is it curvy? Is it not.

00:45:06:06 - 00:45:07:17

Adam

Straight? It's pretty straight.

00:45:07:19 - 00:45:26:14

Luna

So for me, if I have a hard time Deep Throat, sometimes I can't fucking figure out why. Like, there's like an angles thing to each cock. Some of them just slip right in and it. And those can be even on the larger size. But like I do have a partner where when they are at full hardness, I can no longer fit it in.

00:45:26:14 - 00:45:32:00

Luna

But there's the like semi-hard moment and sometimes it'll grow and I can feel that. So is that is it like usually is that semi-hard.

00:45:32:02 - 00:45:40:03

Adam

Yeah. Semi-hard has happened. But when it's been fully hard no one's ever taking it off. Okay, well I haven't met someone who can. I know other people who could. I've.

00:45:40:04 - 00:45:45:12

Luna

So we're big fan of thing. Well, not yet. I hold hope for the future. Always. Yeah.

00:45:45:15 - 00:45:52:12

Adam

I mean, it's funny. I have a bucket list of. I'd want to drop by someone. I want to have a I want to come with all the way down.

00:45:52:13 - 00:46:10:00

Luna

Yeah. I'm also I mean, here's the thing. I finally got that this year because that was on my bucket list. But as a receiver, I can't really feel it. Like I actually I'm like, come out a little bit so I can because it just goes, it goes back to the part where I can feel it, but it is very hot to be like air tight for me to to just get like choked on like that.

00:46:10:00 - 00:46:14:10

Luna

Okay. What about giving what sensations do you love giving to your partners?

00:46:14:12 - 00:46:34:15

Adam

I love doing things that get vocal responses from women. Yeah. So I mean, somebody said, what do you love doing? Like, I will pretty much do anything to her that makes her moan in a way because it's so satisfying. I mean, I like all the basic what's basically what's the correct way to say going down a woman. It's going down licking pussy.

00:46:34:17 - 00:46:49:22

Luna

Hey, well, what turns you on? I think it's what turns you on the most in that moment. They have, like, I'll say, going down on people. I'll say pussy licking, you know, depends on the particular position. Maybe you're face sitting, maybe you're worshiping the current. I don't know, it's like what what phrases make you.

00:46:49:22 - 00:46:53:09

Adam

I actually love pussy licking from behind when a woman's on all fours.

00:46:53:09 - 00:47:00:23

Luna

So hot. That's so hot. You like to lick assholes too. I recently had a partner that was like doing both. Yeah. You do? Okay.

00:47:00:23 - 00:47:02:16

Adam

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I do.

00:47:02:18 - 00:47:03:13

Luna

I had my first.

00:47:03:13 - 00:47:05:06

Adam

I like anything with the but yeah.

00:47:05:07 - 00:47:16:18

Luna

No sense. So getting licked from behind on my pussy mostly. But then having both holes played with is what got me recently to my first infinity orgasm. And I was like, oh my God, what.

00:47:16:18 - 00:47:17:20

Adam

Can he orgasm?

00:47:17:21 - 00:47:31:21

Luna

It just wasn't stop. I don't know if it's a real word. That's what I called it and I wasn't sure what was happening until afterward. I had to be like, break it down for me. What just happened? You know, it was the most intense experience I had had in quite a while. And then I just, like, collapsed often.

00:47:31:21 - 00:47:51:12

Luna

Talk about vulnerable. Like it was such an intense because there was a point where I was like, I think I'm just still coming. Nope. I'm definitely still coming and it's not going to stop. I was like, are your hands okay? Because it was a long time. The point is, it was pussy licking from behind that like took me to the next level with the like, fingers doing what I do.

00:47:51:18 - 00:47:58:21

Adam

That gets me so fucking hot I do that. I mean, that's yeah. I don't know why, but.

00:47:58:23 - 00:48:12:13

Luna

You were talking about following like the noises of the people. Do. You tend to sort of just like explore around to see what gets the most noises? Or do you have verbal conversations that are like, give me a one, two, three, how do I what's your. Yeah.

00:48:12:15 - 00:48:39:12

Adam

You know what? I really like the exploration. I love peeling the layers back slowly and figuring I like the puzzle. I have conversations in my business world. I want to, I don't know, there's something about I know other people who do have conversations, but it feels so rigid to me for some reason and not judging. It's funny, I was recently hooking up with a woman recently within the last year and a half, and I was having a tough time kind of reading her.

00:48:39:12 - 00:48:54:17

Adam

We had been nice and good, and finally I said, hey, maybe we could have a that was the first time I'd ever actually been like, hey, let's, let's have a conversation. I'd love to know what really turns you on. And she gave me a page and a half typed thing that she had that she gave out to her lovers.

00:48:54:17 - 00:48:57:20

Adam

And I was like, oh, you've given me a memo. Okay. Thank you.

00:48:57:20 - 00:48:58:07

Luna

Okay.

00:48:58:07 - 00:49:03:20

Adam

It was it was just very businesslike and okay. It was it was interesting and it was great.

00:49:03:22 - 00:49:22:15

Luna

I've heard of that in like non-monogamous kinky spheres of people have written on things. I personally, I'm like, I don't want you to do only those things. And also, what will we explore together in this wild unknown, but also, like my body changes every day and my body, I think it's I mean, I am not a scientist. They haven't studied enough pheromones.

00:49:22:15 - 00:49:34:09

Luna

Although I'm like, after hearing your story, I'm like, could we get a study funded about people who have more threesomes in their pheromones? There's got to be something there. Like there's got to be something there. They're not going to fund that study, but talk.

00:49:34:09 - 00:49:35:13

Adam

To my.

00:49:35:15 - 00:49:50:08

Luna

Researchers. So it's so cool. Yeah. So well, I want to hear first about any other turn ons in your sexy sphere that we haven't gotten to yet. Like any things that make you hot, like specifics locations like and you fuck on your adventures, like, have you done.

00:49:50:08 - 00:49:51:03

Adam

Like, you know.

00:49:51:05 - 00:49:51:13

Luna

Yes.

00:49:51:13 - 00:49:55:12

Adam

Sometimes I haven't done an underwater fracking. The breathing makes.

00:49:55:13 - 00:50:08:21

Luna

Okay. No, but but I have a listener who writes me some very interesting emails and sends links about aqua philia and about kind of like the compression in the school. I'm like, I'm not enough of a scuba to do it, but I'm like, color me curious if I were in the rain.

00:50:08:21 - 00:50:15:10

Adam

There's scuba, right? I get to I'm a free diver, so a free diving, you only get down. You only have a few minutes. So it the.

00:50:15:12 - 00:50:27:08

Luna

Dam have those breath holding skills come in handy when you're going down on a pussy like. Because for me, sometimes it is a matter of how like just how deep in I get, you know.

00:50:27:10 - 00:50:31:17

Adam

It becomes more of an issue with when the tongue's in the asshole actually. Exactly. Breathing. That's that's.

00:50:31:17 - 00:50:32:03

Luna

It. That's when.

00:50:32:03 - 00:50:32:15

Adam

It really.

00:50:32:17 - 00:50:35:10

Luna

Will end. Because the ass cheeks can catch my notes.

00:50:35:10 - 00:50:48:11

Adam

It it does act like there's something actually I want to bring. Yeah. Because in your outro of your podcast, you say if you don't know someone, you need to come at them with something of value if you want to interact with them sexually.

00:50:48:11 - 00:50:53:23

Luna

This is my new memo of 2024. Irresistible Invitations. Yes. And like, what are you offering me?

00:50:54:00 - 00:51:02:21

Adam

And I totally get that. But when I want to push back in you, is that even if you do know them, in fact, when you know them, it's hot.

00:51:02:21 - 00:51:03:07

Luna

Hot.

00:51:03:07 - 00:51:12:02

Adam

Hot to have transactional sex. I love transactional sex with someone I'm involved with. Someone, a girl I long term girlfriend I do.

00:51:12:02 - 00:51:15:05

Luna

I don't think those things are at odds with one another.

00:51:15:07 - 00:51:26:03

Adam

Well, they're not, but it was, it was the the outro is like you need to come up with something that values like, even if, you know, you said if you don't know someone, come with them with something of value. I'm like, well, if you do know someone, you can come with them.

00:51:26:03 - 00:51:37:08

Luna

My assumption there is if you know someone and have chosen to keep them in your life, it's because they continue to provide value to your life or you're stuck with them because they're related to you.

00:51:37:10 - 00:51:47:21

Adam

But I definitely have a king of trading house. I'm a build houses, so I love coming over to my toolbelt and fixing someone's house for blowjob or I.

00:51:47:23 - 00:51:54:07

Luna

You're on the you're on the East coast, damn it. No, I'm on the West coast. I'm like, I'm right near L.A.. You are.

00:51:54:11 - 00:51:56:11

Adam

I mean, well, I'm in Colorado, right now.

00:51:56:13 - 00:51:58:00

Luna

Oh, really?

00:51:58:02 - 00:51:59:00

Adam

And you're late all.

00:51:59:00 - 00:51:59:22

Luna

The time, and I have some.

00:51:59:22 - 00:52:00:12

Adam

Housework.

00:52:00:12 - 00:52:19:00

Luna

I literally do, I literally do. So I literally was just talking to someone where I'm like, I have this kink. And now for me, I was like, I was like, is this getting a submissive? Like, am I? Am I? Because that was kind of one of my December bucket list items. I was like, I don't know, you know, I'm I've only done dominant things for work.

00:52:19:00 - 00:52:40:03

Luna

Like in my personal life, I'm a submissive, but I'm like, you know, I could see a scenario in which maybe someone's cleaning with me that I help them clean. I don't really want to. I don't know if I want to be in charge of someone in everyday life, but I love transactional things because as a person who's brain can't fucking figure out the social norms, I'm like, all right, what do you want from me?

00:52:40:05 - 00:52:45:07

Luna

All right, here's what I need from you. Or here's a menu of options that would be hot. And like, you.

00:52:45:07 - 00:52:47:06

Adam

Got some plumbing issues, you got some carpentry.

00:52:47:06 - 00:53:04:06

Luna

You literally do. Can't you can't get my bathroom. While I think I can fix this later, but my bathroom stopper is currently broken, I have a shelf I need to put up. I got to put on a new closet door and I have to re fix my sweetheart. Wait. So first of all, we'll talk after this. Second of all, so you've done this like with tool belt.

00:53:04:06 - 00:53:04:23

Luna

Like, what do you mean?

00:53:04:23 - 00:53:06:15

Adam

Oh, absolutely. Oh, no, this is a kink.

00:53:06:20 - 00:53:12:07

Luna

How do you bring this up? How do you talk about it? Because I was like, how do I ask people for this? And this.

00:53:12:07 - 00:53:15:02

Adam

Is, this is I've only done this with with partners, with people who.

00:53:15:02 - 00:53:16:20

Luna

Know, oh, you were already into.

00:53:16:20 - 00:53:27:18

Adam

Kink. It was my I love transactional and sometimes it's purely pain. Sometimes I'll call my partner up and be like, I'll give you X number of dollars to get over here and suck my cock right now.

00:53:27:20 - 00:53:48:16

Luna

That's so hot. Wait, can I I just have to narrate what just happened, because that's not going to be in the video recording, but on your screen when you said the the little thumbs up emoji just popped up and did a thumbs up and it disappeared. It's the new iOS updates and that is hilarious. Oh, so Apple approve.

00:53:48:18 - 00:53:56:03

Luna

Okay, so it's been mostly with partners, but you've paid them for sex. That's I mean that's my top. Like that's top top top hot.

00:53:56:03 - 00:54:20:18

Adam

I don't really have an interest in paying strangers for sex. That's not kinky to me. I have paid strangers for sex at points, but paying a partner for sex is just. I don't know why that's so kinky to me. And friends obviously have a lot of flexible friends, and whenever they need work done, they're like, I'll give you a blowjob, come over, and the sink needs, needs the new trap put in, or I need, I need my circuits moved, an outlet moved.

00:54:20:18 - 00:54:34:05

Luna

Or is it like, are you like, I need to focus on the job and then we have fun? Or is it like, can you be, like, hammering? And then your person is just like, let me just unzip that for a second and then like going back, or do you like prefer to have a footprint.

00:54:34:07 - 00:54:35:10

Adam

Oh all the above.

00:54:35:13 - 00:54:38:11

Luna

Okay, okay. You're open I mean novelty seeking right.

00:54:38:11 - 00:54:42:08

Adam

But the sex has to be at the end. Like we can tease. There can be teasing.

00:54:42:10 - 00:54:59:01

Luna

I mean, I think you're living in a new paradigm where you can come four times if it's an intense, exciting moment. So I think you could. I think you can just follow your heart. I say, follow your heart, follow your heart. You'll be good to go. So damn, I'm so hot. Okay. What else, what else, what other turn ons do we not know about you?

00:54:59:03 - 00:55:23:17

Adam

So this girlfriend I had when I was 25, first real relationship I had. She was the first woman I was with a lot that liked anal sex. And that's where I really had a lot of. And we had this one. This is amazing. This happened 30 years ago. We were in a hotel on a ski trip and had a steam shower in the hotel room we were in, and it was hands down, like the greatest anal sex of my life.

00:55:23:17 - 00:55:35:22

Adam

In the steam shower for like an hour. It was just the sweat and the steam and the hot and the body. We were both 25. We were just incredible. And she's up against the wall and I'm behind her.

00:55:35:22 - 00:55:38:04

Luna

Did you still use lube, though?

00:55:38:06 - 00:55:42:09

Adam

Oh yeah. Yeah, lots of lube. Had lots of that. Yeah, we had lots of careful planning more.

00:55:42:13 - 00:55:50:13

Luna

You could even do water based lube in a steam shower because you'd always be having the moisture. You know, with water based lube. Sometimes you got to add water. Get it? It gets sticky, dude.

00:55:50:13 - 00:55:54:12

Adam

So this was this incredible experience, which is.

00:55:54:18 - 00:55:55:14

Luna

50 years.

00:55:55:14 - 00:55:55:22

Adam

Ago.

00:55:56:01 - 00:55:56:08

Luna

Okay.

00:55:56:08 - 00:56:15:12

Adam

Oh, yeah. Totally standing up there. I mean, for an hour we were in there and it was just we just when I finally came in her ass and we left that shower and we were just like, oh my God, what just happened? What's amazing to me is I have never really done that again. And I built houses. And just this year I was like, what the fuck am I doing?

00:56:15:12 - 00:56:31:03

Adam

100 steam shower. Like which it which is what I'm doing this winter in my house here in Colorado. I'm putting future in purely because, like, why have I waited this long to do it? So I'm like building this now. I've just I'm just starting to rebuild the bathroom and I'm like, oh God, this is okay.

00:56:31:03 - 00:56:42:22

Luna

Well, when you christen it with someone, maybe you'll want to come back and share details with the past. Guest update I don't know, it just seems cool. Okay, anything anything else? Before I ask you other questions like other, just turn on things you love.

00:56:43:00 - 00:56:47:15

Adam

Well, I finally did have my first prostate massage. Like an actual prostate. I was like, I.

00:56:47:17 - 00:56:48:07

Luna

Yeah, here's this.

00:56:48:07 - 00:56:55:00

Adam

Whole thing. I, my wife really liked pegging and she paid me a couple times, then once actually blogged about it to the entire world.

00:56:55:02 - 00:56:56:05

Luna

How was that for you?

00:56:56:06 - 00:57:04:23

Adam

Is that whole scene in the book about it? I don't want to give away, but all of a sudden a friend called me was like, you know, you're you're being pegged online. I was like, wait, what?

00:57:05:03 - 00:57:06:13

Luna

Okay, that was my whole.

00:57:06:15 - 00:57:24:05

Adam

Thing exploded between us. Yeah, we broke up actually over it for a brief period of time. But her point was like, I talk about our sex all the time. All of a sudden, this one thing I can't talk about. What's your problem? It was just interesting. She was like, I talk about watching girls suck your cock and you're totally okay with it.

00:57:24:05 - 00:57:41:20

Adam

And so there was this real mental battle that I was in with my head is like, well, she's right on some level. But the other level she didn't. She talked to me. But I've been okay with everything else. But there's a conflict in my brain around being a man who likes his ass. Played with. So fast forward after we agreed.

00:57:41:21 - 00:58:02:01

Adam

Now she and I no longer together and I have an excuse. A massage therapist who now is giving sensual massages. And so I actually had shoulder surgery and I couldn't jack off and I said, hey, I want to come in for a session. And she said, great. Said, you know, I offered prostate massage. It's like, you know, I've actually never had my prostate actually massaged.

00:58:02:03 - 00:58:18:12

Adam

I said, fingers up there. But knowing that. And she did and oh my God, that was so. And that's only happened once so far. I have to find someone else to have to find my next partner who might might be willing to do that. And I can't even believe I'm saying this out loud that, oh.

00:58:18:14 - 00:58:37:12

Luna

Well, I mean, don't you think this is a perfect example of we got to be the change we want to see? And it's like, you know, we see so far we put it out there. We literally putting it out there because who knows? I mean I have the same thing, right? Like I am practicing again 2024 I am practicing giving, offering and receiving irresistible invitations.

00:58:37:12 - 00:58:58:01

Luna

Like, I really just want to do a good job identifying my desires and inviting people into them. And it's for me, scary, vulnerable. What else is on your horizon to discover or explore, both in your personal life and then, like, what do you wish would happen for the world? Sexuality. Like, I want to hear your personal stuff first, and then we'll get into broad noodles about making the world a sexier, more loving place.

00:58:58:03 - 00:59:16:22

Adam

So it's funny, in the ten years I was with Jane, I got to live out my bucket list. I crossed I's cross, just about everything off my bucket list except the throat pie. So I don't have a lot of things that I'm looking to do other than a life partner would be great. As much as I appreciate non-monogamy, I don't call myself polyamorous.

00:59:17:00 - 00:59:38:17

Adam

I want a primary partner. I want a single romantic relationship and then have some flexibility. So what's on the horizon is I'm looking for that person who has a devolved ness about sexuality and sex. Then I can be 100% open because it's hard. You don't meet a lot of people that you can't. And that was one of the best things about being with Jane is that there was no judgment about can.

00:59:38:17 - 00:59:57:06

Adam

It didn't matter what my brain thought of around sex. And I want that openness. I want that freedom. I want that connection. I want that respect. I want that excitement from a partner who who celebrates the way I express to the world. That's what I would like. At the same time, I do like sex, so having some constant sex would be good.

00:59:57:06 - 00:59:59:03

Adam

At the moment there is no constant sex.

00:59:59:03 - 01:00:19:10

Luna

I will make constant sex lead you to that relationship. Maybe that out to Pollyanna, but I really I'm like, I love getting to know people through sex. I just also need the piece where we're getting to know each other, not just being you. I mean, if you're going to use me as a tool, there are specific scenarios in which we can make that a happy, energetic exchange.

01:00:19:12 - 01:00:25:06

Luna

Right? But it's like if we're getting to know each other, I think it's such a maybe it's not the cultural norm, but my hope for you.

01:00:25:07 - 01:00:25:14

Adam

No, I.

01:00:25:14 - 01:00:27:07

Luna

Agree, I totally.

01:00:27:07 - 01:00:31:00

Adam

Agree. That's that's what I'm saying. It'd be nice to be having sex with someone and getting to know them.

01:00:31:00 - 01:00:46:22

Luna

I recently scared away a crush by asking him to have sex or asking him, you know, about the timeline or the conversation that might need to be in place for us to talk about moving to that next step. Didn't hear from him again after that. Maybe there was other factors at play, but I thought I was being real gentle.

01:00:46:22 - 01:00:47:17

Luna

But men.

01:00:47:17 - 01:00:49:03

Adam

Are fearful and that's kind of why.

01:00:49:03 - 01:00:52:00

Luna

We do the scary. We are fearful.

01:00:52:01 - 01:01:00:20

Adam

Like if there's something makes us uncomfortable, we shy away. And I've had this overarching M.O. in my life is I want to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

01:01:01:02 - 01:01:01:16

Luna

Yeah, I want.

01:01:01:16 - 01:01:18:12

Adam

To get to that point where being uncomfortable is an interesting feeling, not a scary feeling. Right? Things should be exciting because of the fear, not in spite of it. And so when your partner says what you said and it makes you uncomfortable, like if it makes you uncomfortable, you should probably run towards it.

01:01:18:14 - 01:01:36:02

Luna

Right? I mean, at the same time, I'm like, I don't need to be that person's teacher. If that's where they are in their journey, they're just going to poof away. I need someone who's like, going to at least be able to be like, hey, you're so nice. I can't communicate anymore. Now I'm scary, you know, like, but I'm like, I'm learning that, you know, to go back to my noodle on regular human lies.

01:01:36:02 - 01:01:42:16

Luna

It's like, I get it. It's normal to ghost people. I think it's a terrible norm, but it's, you know, it's sort of like I've never.

01:01:42:16 - 01:01:48:21

Adam

I don't ghost, and I hate being mean. It's a terrible thing. It's a different thing. That's what happened in the digital age.

01:01:48:23 - 01:02:03:20

Luna

It's so normal. Things normalize. Yeah. Yeah. Well an and receiving no is hard for a lot of us. And that's why it's hard for some of us. Or it's like I noodle that. It's hard for some of us to ask for what we want, because we live in a culture where no's are sometimes like getting our whole selves rejected.

01:02:03:20 - 01:02:17:03

Luna

But it sounds like you had, I mean, maybe really spoiling experiences. I don't want to lead you into this, but like, how do you feel in this new era where you are seeking new partnership after having a partnership of full, kinky permission for yourself?

01:02:17:05 - 01:02:26:01

Adam

Yeah, it is interesting. It has turned off a couple women and when they found out my past. But then again, it's turned on a lot of others. So it's self-selecting, you know.

01:02:26:03 - 01:02:31:22

Luna

Okay, so what do you noodle? We need collectively to make the world a sexier, more loving place.

01:02:32:00 - 01:02:53:09

Adam

Well, certainly we need to normalize conversations around sex that talking about sex, it's not a taboo. It's not this thing that that is talked about in hushed whispers. We all have sex, everyone's sexual. That seems to be happening. It's a slow. But certainly when I was a kid in the late 80s, sex was not something that was really talked about in normal circles.

01:02:53:11 - 01:03:22:21

Luna

So you were a penis owner who has, sounds like always been pretty in concert with his cock. However, I would like you to speak to this cultural norm. We have that hardness is the most important aspect of. I'm gonna say this with air quotes performed. It sounds like you maybe have a different perspective or perhaps some knowledge, even though your cock has always worked with you like or I won't put words in your mouth, you can tell us your experience, but like what are the most important?

01:03:22:23 - 01:03:27:18

Luna

Is having a hard boner the most important thing and sex is my leading question.

01:03:27:20 - 01:03:37:14

Adam

I think it depends on the situation, but as I've gotten older and in my 20s, the cock was all about the cock. Yeah, let me see it. Let me show you how I use my cock and.

01:03:37:14 - 01:03:45:13

Luna

I will point out that when you self said earlier that you were not very good at sex, your words from earlier. Okay, just going to put that out 100%. Yeah.

01:03:45:15 - 01:04:02:09

Adam

And you know it's funny about my mid 20s I started having I started really being attracted to older women start dating women in their 40s. And that's actually how I started getting good at sex, was starting to have sex with older women who were like, no, you're doing it wrong. You know, they just taught me how to pay attention to your partner.

01:04:02:09 - 01:04:23:21

Adam

I remember very clearly and well, all right, we're going to show you how to like pussy. Right. And, an older ballet dancer taught me how to behave the right way to have anal sex, how to prepare a woman, how to do it correctly. So she's going to enjoy it. And I credit any ability that I have in my sexual realm from these experiences I had as a young man in my 20s with these women in their 40s and 30s.

01:04:23:21 - 01:04:30:23

Adam

If you're a young guy out there in your 20s, you have to start having sex with older women and you just like. And if they'll have sex with you of course.

01:04:30:23 - 01:04:48:08

Luna

Or like do some learning on your own and then go do it right. Like, we don't have to. I mean, I do. I'm a person that definitely turns everyone into my teacher, for better or worse. But it's like, you know what I mean? It's it is so beautiful. And also there's many ways to learn. And also like learning to warm up an asshole directly from a person is so hard.

01:04:48:08 - 01:04:49:12

Luna

It's definitely my favorite way.

01:04:49:12 - 01:05:09:16

Adam

To do it has honestly, that with me was the best sexual gift any woman ever gave me. Was that lesson I got from her. And then this period of time that we were together having a lot of anal sex. But as I've gotten older and the repertoire has increased beyond the cock, the sex becomes this. You can just sit there and play with someone with your finger for an hour.

01:05:09:18 - 01:05:36:22

Adam

You know, when she's tied up or something. Doesn't matter with your cocks working or not. You can give someone the greatest night of their life and your pants can stay on. So as I've gotten older, I have gotten away from the hardness of the cock. And even though saying that it does feel really good when my cock is really hard and women really appreciate a very hard cock, that is one of those feelings that I absolutely love when the cock is really hard and the woman's just loving it.

01:05:36:22 - 01:05:41:04

Adam

So yes, I've moved away from it, but boy, it's nice when it's there.

01:05:41:06 - 01:05:50:14

Luna

Yeah, yeah. It also sounds like you're not a particularly high anxiety person just from talking to you, which I know anxiety can and like fear of performance can really affect people.

01:05:50:16 - 01:06:08:21

Adam

Yeah, I think that stems and the book talks a lot about this in terms of performance because in the extreme sports I competed in, you cannot have anxiety, you cannot have anything that's going to distract you from performance. You learn how to compartmentalize so well. You learn how to take fear and reframe it. You learn how to to look at situations differently.

01:06:08:21 - 01:06:21:18

Adam

You look you learn how to find the mindset of just that space so you can perform. Because in extreme sports, if you miss performing can have consequences which aren't very good. So yeah, I don't have a lot of anxiety. Right?

01:06:21:18 - 01:06:43:14

Luna

Yeah. No, I hear that. And I just want to call that out because I think oftentimes, you know, people just want to pop a pill or do kind of a quick fix instead of dealing with the connection of the relationship, their connection to themselves, their self-love, you know, and I just want to say to all penis owners out there, you know, I definitely had a really good friend who started cialis in his early 20s, not knowing that it gets less and less and less effective the older you get.

01:06:43:14 - 01:06:47:03

Luna

So I am just all for people, like really checking in with themselves.

01:06:47:08 - 01:06:48:16

Adam

You know, take time.

01:06:48:18 - 01:07:05:11

Luna

I want to share a personal story with you about a penis staying in the pants. And it was really hot. So I had a partner recently where our agreement was he was just going to play with my asshole, like he really wanted to play with an asshole. First time for him and I was like, okay, we'll see, you know?

01:07:05:11 - 01:07:21:03

Luna

So we put on the gloves. I was like, teaching him to go slow. He did not go slow enough, but he was like so, so excited because it was his first time with someone who was like really into bad stuff, playing with it. And he also had been edging himself for a while, and it got so like it was so, so hot.

01:07:21:03 - 01:07:35:16

Luna

We both got so turned on. He ended up coming in his pants for the first time since he was a teenager, and he was much older now. So it's like that was things where we were just like super, super turned on. The cock, stayed in the pants and then he masturbated to it a lot later. And so we were just like very happy about that.

01:07:35:16 - 01:07:38:22

Luna

So it's awesome. My personal share. Thanks for listening.

01:07:39:00 - 01:07:42:03

Adam

Yeah, no it's great. It's got me kind of like like I remember coming in I.

01:07:42:03 - 01:07:57:10

Luna

Think that's right. And that's fun too. Right. But it's something that oftentimes I think we get in, we have this idea that like an adult sexual experience has to be this certain way. But what do we love more than anything is to feel young, to feel like a little bit out of control in these ways that are safe and exciting and surprising for me.

01:07:57:10 - 01:08:04:16

Luna

For me. I'll speak for myself. Okay. Anything else about your sex life? Before I ask you my fantasy questions?

01:08:04:18 - 01:08:21:16

Adam

Ooh, fantasy questions. I mean, you know, I am someone who just, like, loves the one off blowjob in the bathroom at a restaurant or. Right. Or somewhere, like, behind a tree. Quaker. I want to fuck Jane on the edge of the Grand Canyon from behind. We were just looking out into the not so hot.

01:08:21:19 - 01:08:31:09

Luna

Oh, that's. Yeah, hot. Have you ever come over a cliff? I love to ask people this question. So far, I have not met a penis that has jacked off into a canyon, but I have had sex on.

01:08:31:09 - 01:08:31:20

Adam

Cliffs.

01:08:31:20 - 01:08:49:02

Luna

From climbing. I, I want to watch someone come over a cliff safely. Right. And I want a slo mo video. It like that's one of my just like, random bucket list fantasies. I'm like. Or at least hear a story about it. No one has come over quite happily. Okay, be you're subject. You're like someone.

01:08:49:04 - 01:08:50:17

Adam

If you want to. Phil, I know you're a filmmaker.

01:08:50:18 - 01:08:52:04

Luna

Yes, yes. No. An idea.

01:08:52:04 - 01:08:54:06

Adam

Scene in mission 69 on Mars.

01:08:54:06 - 01:09:04:06

Luna

Or something? Yeah, I mean, I there's a lot of good things you can do with, like, come in the zero gravity, but I think we just have not seen enough of yet. So I'm, come curious and all.

01:09:04:06 - 01:09:07:02

Adam

And on Mars has the biggest canyon anywhere in our soil.

01:09:07:02 - 01:09:11:21

Luna

That's right, that's right. You know, that's a really epic guy.

01:09:11:21 - 01:09:14:02

Adam

Wants to fly to Mars and coming.

01:09:14:04 - 01:09:21:18

Luna

And it would go really slowly, I think. I don't know why I can't remember Mars gravity. Right now. I think it's less.

01:09:21:18 - 01:09:22:06

Adam

It's less where.

01:09:22:09 - 01:09:38:12

Luna

It's much like. Yeah, because it's bigger point six. Yeah. Okay. So if you had to be a sex worker for two years, we suddenly live in a world where that's the community service we all do. Like maybe at the cusp of or maybe anything point on our live scripts. New law. What kind of sex worker would you be?

01:09:38:14 - 01:09:39:10

Adam

What kind?

01:09:39:15 - 01:09:41:03

Luna

Yeah. How would you serve?

01:09:41:07 - 01:09:49:12

Adam

Well, I know that I would love to be the man who shows that women higher to come teach them how to enjoy anal sex.

01:09:49:14 - 01:09:55:05

Luna

Oh, that's what I would love. Oh, I love that. That's hot. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

01:09:55:07 - 01:09:57:23

Adam

Oh, and I've had a lot of good feedback.

01:09:57:23 - 01:09:59:05

Luna

A rule you wear. Well.