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21 polysexual kinky genderfluid person, polyamorous, partner 2 years.

🔗 NOVA LINKS | @daddy_bunny_2022 / OF / twitter

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00:00:00:02 - 00:00:19:07

Luna

Our guest today is a 21 year old gender fluid, poly sexual person who uses they them pronouns and has been in a partnered polyamorous relationship for two years. They are kinky and are into breeding Bdsm, puppy play, and anal. A university student studying criminology and paying the student bills via OnlyFans. Welcome, Nova.

00:00:19:09 - 00:00:22:10

Nova

Hi. Oh my gosh I'm so excited for this!

00:00:22:12 - 00:00:35:09

Luna

I am super duper excited! What an intro! Can you start off by telling us if you had to rate yourself on a sexual shame meter with one being shameless and ten being super full of shame? Where do you fall right now?

00:00:35:11 - 00:00:59:03

Nova

Oh, that's a hard one. So I just had group therapy to deal with some sexual assault trauma and it was for survivors. So that was yesterday. So I'm sitting at about a six because the entire topic was shame and guilt. Oh, wow. So it's kind of ironic that that's the first question you asked me, because that was just that was the entire topic of my therapy session with shame and guilt.

00:00:59:03 - 00:01:08:15

Nova

And so I'm feeling a little shameful, but at the same time, I'm like, no, like, wipe that away. You got this. You're good. So we're doing better.

00:01:08:17 - 00:01:25:20

Luna

Well, and, you know, it's so interesting because all feelings are little signals to us about what we need, right? Or that's how I understand them. I've done a lot of reading about feelings and emotions as kind of like signals to action. You know, anger signals us to move, to do something with this in person. Or was it like a zoom group?

00:01:25:22 - 00:01:26:23

Nova

It was in person.

00:01:27:03 - 00:01:28:18

Luna

Can I ask how many people were there?

00:01:28:19 - 00:01:31:04

Nova

Oh, there was about ten of us.

00:01:31:06 - 00:01:36:03

Luna

Okay. What was it like being in a room with ten people talking about shame?

00:01:36:05 - 00:01:57:18

Nova

It was kind of really awesome, but at the same time, like, really strange. So like, you get all the responses that people have and a lot of it was about family shame, which I'll probably talk about a bit more later, but it was the sense of like, shame from family is so different than the shame you feel from like other people in society.

00:01:57:18 - 00:02:09:05

Nova

And like almost everyone in the group, when I said that, just completely nodded their head and agreed. And I just sat there and I was like, wow, this is really a validating feeling that I'm not alone in this world.

00:02:09:07 - 00:02:17:14

Luna

Can you describe the difference between those two shames and or what influences your life kind of in a day to day way?

00:02:17:16 - 00:02:40:06

Nova

For family shame. For me, it's much more like personal. They they know you as a person, and the shame that they feel is not necessarily like about you, but it's more of like, we know you can be a better person, whereas society, when they see you in this light, it's a shame because you know, like you shouldn't be doing that.

00:02:40:06 - 00:02:58:23

Nova

That's against societal norms. Whereas your family, it's like we know you as a person can do better than that. That's where I find it very different of society is just like, no, like that's not normal in society. And then your family is just like, no, you're a good person. Why are you sinking to that level? And like, that's what my family always said.

00:02:58:23 - 00:03:00:11

Nova

And I was like, oh.

00:03:00:12 - 00:03:16:10

Luna

Okay, okay, okay. So it has a lot to do with expectations. And you know, it's a fine. People talk to me about societal norms all the time, but the more that I talk to people, I'm like, but what are you talking about though? Because like, are there you know? And of course, Instagram says, yes, all the social media things say yes.

00:03:16:10 - 00:03:37:05

Luna

But also it's like really wiggly. So not to get hung up on shame right at the beginning of your episode. However, before we started recording, we were just talking about trying to make sex stories more safe for work, trying to, you know, make this podcast actually pay for itself with advertising and one of the brief thoughts I had was like, I'll just call it.

00:03:37:06 - 00:03:54:20

Luna

I'll just do shame stories or have shame stories, and then we'll have sex stories. And then I was like, probably no one wants to listen to that. Probably no one wants to like come record that. But here you were in a group of people talking about shame in the name of healing. Was that hard for you? Was it scary?

00:03:54:20 - 00:03:57:16

Luna

Was it was that more of a safe container?

00:03:57:18 - 00:04:22:09

Nova

I think it was definitely hard because we go into that group, and the first session that we have in group is these are the topics we want to talk about. So we picked that topic of shame and guilt, and I think I was actually the one who recommended that topic and like threw it out into the group because I was like, you know, there's a huge feeling of like shame because I worked in the sex industry and people like, look at me and they're like, no, you didn't.

00:04:22:09 - 00:04:28:13

Nova

And I'm like, yeah, actually I did, and I still do. And people just look at me and they're like, no.

00:04:28:13 - 00:04:29:09

Luna

And I'm like.

00:04:29:11 - 00:04:55:04

Nova

Yeah. So it was really awesome. But at the same time, like, you could sense like there was one girl. It was her first time showing up because it's an all female group and me. But there was one girl who showed up and it was her first time showing up to the group. She had never been to the previous two of group sessions that we had had, and you could tell she was just very uncomfortable because she didn't expect that to happen.

00:04:55:04 - 00:05:14:03

Nova

And one of our girls in our group actually was fully sharing her story, and it was the first time she had ever shared that story from start to finish. And the room just went silent, as it is that we listened to this girl's explanation of shame in her life and how she felt, and that feeling was just wow.

00:05:14:06 - 00:05:38:20

Nova

And I actually, I was the only one to comment on hers. And I went, you know, I'm proud of you for being able to share that because it was so it was so emotionally like, wow. Like if I sat there and went, wow, I couldn't have imagined how she was feeling. And I know that feeling because I've had to do the same thing where I share my story and people are like, wow, that's a time.

00:05:38:22 - 00:05:58:23

Nova

And they don't entirely know how to, like, handle it, because most people are like, we'll try to be like, I get it. But in most of those scenarios, you don't get it. And like as much as you try to be sympathetic, you don't understand. So the entire sense of shame that was in that group, everyone was like the shame is there.

00:05:59:00 - 00:06:20:03

Nova

But we didn't let it define us in that group, and we were able to still sit there and be like, we can move past this. Like one of the discussions that we did was we got into like smaller groups of like 2 or 3 people and we had like a list of questions. And one of them was like, name a situation where you felt really shameful in and like what happened?

00:06:20:03 - 00:06:44:04

Nova

And then the next question is literally, how can you go back to tell yourself that what you did wasn't shameful and you didn't need to feel ashamed for it, which I think was a great question to ask. And they found like we would struggle trying to do it on ourself. That's why you had a partner or two with you, because then they would sit there and be like, well, this is why you shouldn't feel shame for it, because they had an outside perspective which was really nice.

00:06:44:06 - 00:07:01:00

Luna

Wow. Okay let's refocus. Getting back to our intro questions I'm how would you describe your relationship to sex over the course of your lifetime if you had to just look back on it and kind of like give us a little rollercoaster overview.

00:07:01:02 - 00:07:28:21

Nova

So over the course of my lifetime, I think it's definitely like fluctuated and gone up and down because at the start it was very, I don't want to say confusing, but like, it seems the most accurate of a word right now, but it was just very odd because like I was dealing with older siblings, but then I was also dealing with my own age group, and then I was dealing with my siblings going through things, and then I was dealing with my own shit.

00:07:28:23 - 00:07:33:03

Nova

And then so it was just a very confusing time. Overall.

00:07:33:05 - 00:07:51:11

Luna

This confusing have a connotation to it. Like I have a rage response to confusion. Like, people don't see me mad on this podcast because I'm not confused. Because I'm in charge. I get so frustrated and mad when I'm trying to communicate to someone and it's not working, and I feel like they're not trying or like I'm trying to figure something out.

00:07:51:11 - 00:07:58:11

Luna

Like, that's basically like my whole like, struggle with life. But what's your relationship to the word confusing?

00:07:58:13 - 00:08:17:16

Nova

I think it's definitely a very frustrating word for me. Like confusion was always something that I was like, okay, why am I not understanding this? And so it was definitely a component of anger, but it was also a component of almost, I don't want to say sadness that doesn't seem right, but almost fear, or like a fear of not ever going to be able to know what's happening.

00:08:17:18 - 00:08:35:15

Nova

And that was a big fear of mine when I was growing up, as I was like, I don't understand what's going on. Why do I not understand what's going on and when will I understand what's going on? Because a lot of the times, like I'd walk into conversations and then they'd stop the conversation and I was like, okay, but I heard this and I want to understand why can't I understand it?

00:08:35:21 - 00:08:56:04

Nova

But you can't ask those questions because that wasn't the conversation you were supposed to hear. So like, it's a very frustrating one because I want to be able to understand, but they just won't explain it to me. And that was like a lot of my life, especially revolving around sex is it was like we're going to give you like bits and pieces, but we're not going to explain all of it to you at one go.

00:08:56:04 - 00:08:58:06

Nova

And I was like, oh, that's frustrating.

00:08:58:08 - 00:09:00:19

Luna

Yeah. What about now?

00:09:00:21 - 00:09:24:22

Nova

Now? Oh gosh. I was actually talking with my partner about this before I came on here, and we were talking about how, like, I've grown so much as a person, especially in my sexuality, because like when he met me, it was chaos, like it was absolute chaos. And I think that's the easiest way to describe it is chaos.

00:09:25:00 - 00:09:52:10

Nova

But now I've gotten to a point where I'm like, okay, I understand what's going on for the most part. If I don't understand it, I'm not afraid to ask those questions, which is pretty awesome. I still don't have necessarily all the resources of like, people. I can ask those questions too, but I'm working on expanding my group so I can actually ask people these questions of like, hey, I don't know what rimming is, what is rimming, and have somebody explain that to me with the example I had in my head.

00:09:52:12 - 00:09:56:09

Luna

I can tell you about rimming.

00:09:56:11 - 00:09:58:23

Nova

This is why it's not to say for podcast.

00:09:59:01 - 00:10:02:20

Luna

No, no.

00:10:02:22 - 00:10:23:03

Nova

But like I'm working on expanding that like horizon so that I can ask people those questions and like, my partner and I are starting this discord server, which basically allows people to be themselves and be sexual and be able to have like the option to do it safely. Because one of the big things that I found is I love exhibitionism.

00:10:23:08 - 00:10:33:14

Nova

I'm a huge fan of it, but it's so difficult to do that safely where it is that you're no longer getting in trouble, and to find people that are into that. Yeah, and do actual permission.

00:10:33:18 - 00:10:35:01

Luna

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

00:10:35:06 - 00:11:02:12

Nova

So we wanted to create the server so that we could do that. And people who are voyeurs or anything like that are able to be like, okay, like I'm going to sit in and watch this. I don't have to. I can leave whenever. And that's totally fine, which I think is like what we wanted to do. So currently I'm sitting in a much better space and like sexually and all that, just because I've grown so much as a person through my experiences and through meeting my partner.

00:11:02:14 - 00:11:07:07

Nova

And I'm just I'm very lucky that I'm I've grown so much beautiful.

00:11:07:09 - 00:11:15:21

Luna

Also, you have been with your partner for two years. Did you meet them like right when you started dating or you said when you met them you were in this place, but like, was that longer before?

00:11:15:23 - 00:11:19:21

Nova

So I met my partner in March. I think I might have been 20, 22.

00:11:19:23 - 00:11:23:00

Luna

Okay. Tell us, what do you love about sex?

00:11:23:02 - 00:11:46:05

Nova

Oh, gosh. Sex is just for me. It's so amazing to be able to, like, express myself in a way that, like, I'm in control of it now because for a long time I wasn't in control when it came to sex, and that was like a really hard thing. So now I love the fact that, like, I can turn around and dom my partner and he's just like, yeah, or I can turn around and be like, yo, I want us up.

00:11:46:05 - 00:12:00:21

Nova

And he's like, okay, let's do it. And like, that's so amazing to me that you can have a relationship like that where it's just like, no, I want this to be mutually pleasurable. Everyone to have a good time and like, that's amazing to me.

00:12:00:23 - 00:12:05:21

Luna

So fuck yeah. Yeah. What counts as sex for you?

00:12:05:23 - 00:12:30:00

Nova

So when I was looking over these questions, this is the one that stumped me the most, because it's hard for me to define sex purely because I had so many bad experiences with it. And when you're first experience of sex is bad, you don't entirely know how to define it. And at the same time, growing up like I grew up in a Catholic high school and elementary school, you don't learn a lot about sex.

00:12:30:00 - 00:12:49:20

Nova

The entire thing I learned was abstinence. And like, that was it. Like, I remember in grade nine, I want to say my gym teacher, because you had to learn health in gym, which was still weird to me, but nonetheless, my gym teacher turned around and was like, these are STIs. And this is like, what would happen? And like all these horror photos, right?

00:12:49:20 - 00:13:11:22

Nova

Which apparently a lot of people have gotten and I'm like, that's awful. But then the main thing that would I would reiterate is abstinence is key. If you substance from sex, you'll be good and it wasn't until like later on that I learned like, okay, that's not the only thing that's sexual. And to them sex was just penis goes in a vagina that is sex.

00:13:12:00 - 00:13:39:15

Nova

And I'm like, okay, that's not just sex. Because I had very different experiences. So when I was growing up, I sat there and I was like, okay, my first time having sex, quote unquote, would have been 15. But I'm sitting there now and I'm like, okay, logically, my first sexual act more or less would have been probably closer to 14, 13, 14.

00:13:39:17 - 00:14:08:23

Nova

And I'm like, okay, that's not necessarily the hugest age gap, but it's still a very different timeline. So to define sex to me is such a hard thing to do. I really just define it more as like a sexual act is pleasure for both. And that's how I wanted to define it, because to a lot of people like that would exclude like a lot of assaults on anything which I want to exclude because to me that's not sex, that's just a sexual, sexual assault.

00:14:09:01 - 00:14:09:15

Luna

Yeah.

00:14:09:17 - 00:14:32:08

Nova

Exactly. It's very different. And I think that's what people miss when we define sex is just penis and a vagina. And I'm like, that's not what sex is like. Sex is two people mutually agreeing on this, both gaining pleasure from it. And if it's not like that's not really great sex. Like if you're not both getting pleasure, that's a whole other issue.

00:14:32:10 - 00:14:43:04

Luna

Well, okay, so that's my follow up question. Does this answer change what counts as sex? If you go into sex work mode and we're selling it.

00:14:43:06 - 00:15:14:21

Nova

Oh that's a hard one. So when I was first getting into sex work, I was greatly exploited, like very massively exploited because I didn't know any better. No one taught me anything. And in my life and in my life growing up, nobody tells you sex work is an option. They always, like, exclude it as an option. I remember my mom telling me, you can be anything you want except a prostitute and a hooker.

00:15:14:23 - 00:15:20:06

Nova

And I was like, oh, okay. I think there's also a drug dealer in there. But like.

00:15:20:06 - 00:15:21:14

Luna

I said that literally.

00:15:21:14 - 00:15:24:00

Nova

You just do that. Yeah, something along those lines.

00:15:24:02 - 00:15:26:16

Luna

Mom, you really planted the seed.

00:15:26:18 - 00:15:44:13

Nova

She didn't mean to. And I love my mother dearly, but, like, she genuinely didn't want me to go into that because she was terrified of what had happened to her when she was younger. And that's not my story to tell. But she had had some issues when she was younger, and I kind of learned that later on in my life.

00:15:44:17 - 00:16:06:08

Nova

And so it explains now why she said those things. But no one had ever taught me that sex work was okay. Yeah. So when I went into sex work, because I was a broke university student at a different university than I'm at now, and I was sitting there running out of money, I turned around and went, okay, this is what I'm going to do.

00:16:06:10 - 00:16:20:19

Nova

And I went onto a Sugar Baby website because originally I was just going to be like, no, I'm just going to be a sugar baby. That's all I'm going to do. It doesn't involve drug. And I was like, I was such a naive little kid. I mean, I wasn't a kid, but I was a naive little kid because I didn't know better.

00:16:20:21 - 00:16:36:01

Nova

Yeah. And so I was like, I'm just gonna be a sugar baby. That doesn't involve anything. It's like, might involve kissing, maybe a blowjob here and there, because in my head, blowjob doesn't equal sex, right? I'm an idiot. But whatever. You're not an idiot at the time. No, I was not thinking the way I would have thought.

00:16:36:01 - 00:16:52:12

Luna

Now, look, I didn't know the blowjobs were oral sex until, like, my second year of giving them rampant, like, you know, we don't know what we know until we know it, you know? And I just want to support all of us in letting go of self name calling, even if it's a joke.

00:16:52:18 - 00:16:56:17

Nova

Yes, I'm very bad for that. So please comment on it.

00:16:56:18 - 00:17:06:11

Luna

But wait, I'm just going to offer different things. You're not bad. You literally just said you're bad. You're not bad. You're practicing. We are all practicing together.

00:17:06:12 - 00:17:12:00

Nova

I'm really practicing the act of name calling.

00:17:12:02 - 00:17:39:00

Luna

Oh, no. No. We're I think we're practicing giving ourselves presumably practicing personal praise, I think is something we can support it. I mean, I have to practice is to. This is also my current, like, most annoying habit that I do with friends. But also, I think it's really important for me, for me, in my own self. I've noticed a huge difference in my like capacity for self-love and the amount that I do or don't allow myself to, you know, or even just catch it, right?

00:17:39:00 - 00:17:45:08

Luna

Maybe I call the name, but like catching name calling. Oh, okay. Sorry for interrupting your story. Please continue.

00:17:45:10 - 00:18:07:13

Nova

That's okay. So I turned around and I was like, I'm just going to be a sugar baby. That's all I'm going to do. And fast forward, I met a couple guys on a website and I was like, okay, this is fine. And like, we met up and one thing led to another and inevitably they ended up assaulting me and I was like, oh, okay.

00:18:07:15 - 00:18:10:17

Nova

But I made good money. So I was like.

00:18:10:19 - 00:18:11:01

Luna

Hey.

00:18:11:06 - 00:18:31:02

Nova

I kind of need the money. So it kind of like led me down this spiral of, okay, I'm going to do this and I'm just going to make money out of it. I don't care if it's pleasurable for me, it's just to make money. And that's really what it became. Which is why for me, like, yes, that was sex work.

00:18:31:04 - 00:18:42:18

Nova

Yeah. But it wasn't really sex. It was more of a solitary or a sexual act in itself. But it wasn't really sex. And that's really how I had to define it to myself.

00:18:42:20 - 00:19:04:05

Luna

Okay. That's a really important distinction, too, because, you know, the reason that I get really specific here, and I know that I can really get lost in the weeds is, you know, as a sex worker, obviously, we live in the land of like supposedly legality and sensuality. But when you get into actual in-person work, you know, those things can go out the window.

00:19:04:05 - 00:19:34:17

Luna

And so I know that some people have different prices. Obviously, you're only ever purchasing time, right? But there are different prices for different acts for some people. But then there's also in the sense of assault, you know, a boundary push, big boundary push up. Do you feel comfortable? I don't want to like get into dirty details of assault, but since it's come up, it feels important for me to kind of get into certain levels of detail around what the actual act of assault is, right?

00:19:34:17 - 00:19:55:13

Luna

Because so often it's linked with some measure of boundary pushing. So as it was happening to you, were you like, oh shit, I'm getting assaulted right now, or was it sort of like a tricky thing you looked back on like, can you just share a little bit around your understandings at the time, maybe expectations as a sex worker and then like looking back with the healing work that you're doing?

00:19:55:15 - 00:20:01:01

Nova

Yeah. So absolutely. I did not think at the time this was getting assaulted like.

00:20:01:03 - 00:20:01:09

Luna

One.

00:20:01:09 - 00:20:17:21

Nova

Hundred percent. I didn't because I was always taught like an assault is from a stranger who you've never met before. And it's like that stranger danger aspect of they're just going to come out, they're going to like pull you into a back alley. It's going to happen. And like this big dangerous thing is going to happen. You're going to fight.

00:20:17:21 - 00:20:44:20

Nova

You're going to do all this. That's not what happened. Like what happened was I invited this guy back to my place. And what ended up happening was no condom was used, no protection was used. And what ended up happening was I was this young person who never understood the difference because I was never shown anything different. Like I understood condoms should be used and all that, but it was never a reality for me.

00:20:44:22 - 00:21:08:10

Nova

So what happened was this guy came back to my house and no condom was used. There was a lot of spanking that I didn't necessarily want, but I was like, you know what? He wants it and it'll get me more money. So it'll be fine, because oftentimes I've had people who would turn around and just say, yeah, but I didn't get to do what I wanted and I'd be like, okay.

00:21:08:12 - 00:21:33:15

Nova

But I still set that price. And they were like, yeah, but. So we'd have to do it again so that they could get what they wanted so that I could get the money. And so it became a huge issue. I've learned I've definitely learned from that, which I'm very happy about. But it was definitely like this big thing of I was like, well, looking back on this now, that was a massive assault thing and it was pretty bad.

00:21:33:17 - 00:21:45:12

Luna

So is it even possible to answer this question like, what is sexy to you? It sounds like you do have a robust sex life. Yeah.

00:21:45:14 - 00:22:28:09

Nova

So that's always a fun one because, you know, I've definitely had like interesting past sex life. And you know, that's okay. But sexy to me. Oh gosh. Like sexy to me is like the confidence that somebody feels when like it's a mutual trust. Does that make sense. So in the sense that like there's a mutual trust of this is going to happen consensually and the confidence that somebody gets and is like almost not overpowering, but like a sense of like they're bigger than you just to be able to be like, hey, I'm going to do this and you're going to enjoy it, and I know you're going to enjoy it.

00:22:28:09 - 00:22:29:15

Nova

And I'm just like.

00:22:29:17 - 00:22:32:17

Luna

Please, oh.

00:22:32:19 - 00:22:54:18

Nova

That's like a huge sexy thing for me, which is kind of weird to a lot of people when they hear my story because they're like, you've been assaulted. Why would you want that? And I'm like, because that's still hot. To me. That does not. That was not what happened in my assault. And so this is super sexy when they're like, we I know that this is what you want.

00:22:54:20 - 00:23:01:02

Nova

I know this is something we consented to and this is something we're going to do to enjoy it. And like that's a big thing.

00:23:01:07 - 00:23:20:00

Luna

Aligned desire with an underlying layer of trust is super fucking hot. That's a great answer. Oh I love fuck yeah. It's sexy. Okay. You hit on this a little bit with the Catholic school, but is there anything else to say around the sex talks you did or didn't get sex ed or consent education growing up?

00:23:20:02 - 00:23:43:09

Nova

Oh gosh. Yeah there is. So I love my family. I grew up the youngest of a family of six, so there was a lot of us. And my eldest sister is eight years older than me, so there's a bit of an age gap and so when I was turning about eight, she was getting into this times where she's going to be having her first experiences at parties and all this stuff.

00:23:43:09 - 00:24:06:05

Nova

And I remember my dad talking to her and her friend, and they were genuinely asking, and I was sitting in like another room. So I don't think they even knew I was listening. But like, we had kind of an open concept. Not really. We had like two doors to our kitchen that you could, like, listen in, but you couldn't like see that somebody was there, got it.

00:24:06:05 - 00:24:22:12

Nova

So it was kind of weird. So there is in the kitchen and they ask, they're like, can you get pregnant from swallowing? I think to be fair, I think they were a little younger at the time and I was a little younger, but like it was approximately that age that I was like, oh, okay. I kind of remember this.

00:24:22:12 - 00:24:36:13

Nova

I would have been probably closer to six. And my dad purely never having had to have this experience, looks at them and goes, yes, oh.

00:24:36:15 - 00:24:39:09

Luna

Like caught off guard. Parents caught off guard.

00:24:39:09 - 00:24:56:09

Nova

Well, he was caught off guard. He didn't know what to say. And I can't blame them. So my mom and him have a discussion later on, like because the friend was spending the night and my mom and my dad have a discussion later on. This story has been told to me years later. That's why I remember it so vividly.

00:24:56:11 - 00:25:13:19

Nova

And my parents had a discussion. And then my mom goes, you have to tell them the truth. Like, as much as it's an uncomfortable thing, we have to tell them the truth. Like we can't have them believing that. Yeah. So there was a little bit of Roman reason, and they did end up going to tell my sister and her friend being like, okay, you can't actually get pregnant from swallowing, but at the same time, please be careful.

00:25:13:19 - 00:25:50:16

Nova

And like then they had the sex talk to my sister and I wasn't there for that because I was passed out in my bed. Thank the Lord for that, because that would have been a really uncomfortable conversation. But that was like the first time that I kind of had any like memory of that. Okay. And then I would have been probably about 12 at the time because my other sister had her boyfriend over, and I was swimming in our pool in the backyard, and my mom and my sister and her boyfriend are sitting up on the deck, and I come up from the water and I look over at my mom because she's like, waving

00:25:50:16 - 00:26:12:10

Nova

me down. And I go, yeah, what's up? And she goes, do you know this? And names? I don't remember what it was now, but she names some part of the penis and I'm like, what? She's like, did you ever learn this? I was like, And I felt so uncomfortable. I have no idea what to say because my sister and her boyfriend are sitting and I'm like, okay.

00:26:12:12 - 00:26:14:14

Luna

So you knew it was penis related?

00:26:14:16 - 00:26:31:08

Nova

No. At the time, I didn't. You just know, like, I had no idea what this name was. And so she turns around after and she's like, see, I told you like and somehow we got into the topic and they said that it was a part of the penis. And that's how I learned it. Like, even to this day, I don't even remember what the word was.

00:26:31:09 - 00:26:49:02

Nova

Okay. So clearly it didn't stick that much. But like the memory of being told this is part of the penis. With my sister and her boyfriend sitting up there and me swimming in the pool, I'm like, yeah, this is uncomfortable now. So I just kind of went back to swimming and kind of just avoided going up to the deck.

00:26:49:04 - 00:27:02:13

Luna

Where did you get the message that sex was uncomfortable, like you already had it from school, from church? Like it sounds like your parents talked about sex, but maybe only if they had two. Or it's like you didn't get your own. You were 12 and you hadn't had your own conversation with them at that point.

00:27:02:13 - 00:27:20:19

Nova

No. So I think the reason I got the understanding that sex was uncomfortable was because I have a cousin and I love my cousin, but her and her husband will like when I was growing up, like they had a young daughter and I think she's like 13 now, the daughter. And I was like, wow, I'm really getting old now.

00:27:20:21 - 00:27:46:06

Nova

But anyways, they would walk around their house naked with their young daughter, and they found that super fine and they had no issue with it. And they still to this day are super open about sex and I love that. But whenever they came over and would talk about that and like, talk about how like they're super open. Once they left, my family would have a conversation about it and they would inevitably kind of be like, that's a little weird.

00:27:46:06 - 00:28:05:06

Nova

Like she's like the daughter's for now, and she's seeing her dad naked and like, all this. And so to me, I got the impression of, okay, so this is wrong to be that way. Like, this is wrong to kind of be open about being sexual. This is wrong to be naked. And like there was this wrongness in it.

00:28:05:08 - 00:28:15:12

Nova

And I don't think that was the intention of what my family was trying to say, but that's how I ended up perceiving it. And so it became like this really weird concept to me.

00:28:15:14 - 00:28:46:17

Luna

Man. I continue to learn. You know, it's really only a five years ago that I started to learn how fucking weird this is. My judgment. People are about nudity. Like, I remember when I started sharing my naked pictures online and like I would get messages from people and this was like, I mean, I guess I already had the sex podcast, but I definitely remember one of the reasons I stopped going on Instagram was because I would get multiple messages from people, you know, just from whatever lurker dudes I finally was like, do you understand that just because I'm naked doesn't mean that it's sexual?

00:28:46:17 - 00:29:14:20

Luna

And also definitely not an invitation to you. But but that's how I learned. Like, no, naked does equal sex for a lot of people. And I think it's very, very harmful, especially in naked friendly households, to conflate or to even just like imply like having nudity around a child is inherently like pedophilia. That is insane to me because it's like, no, it's not the behavior, not the optics is what is important.

00:29:14:22 - 00:29:22:09

Luna

And that's where I kind of want to just like, slap our world. But let's get back to your stories. So you didn't get your own sex talk. It sounds like.

00:29:22:11 - 00:29:24:20

Nova

No, I don't think I ever really did. Okay.

00:29:24:20 - 00:29:40:08

Luna

And you got abstinence education in school and no lesson in consent or anything and any, like, any advice from grown ups or any, like, clear, safe feeling, like moment of learning at all.

00:29:40:10 - 00:30:02:16

Nova

Thinking back on it, I think most of that didn't come until after I had a big incident and it was after that that my mom kind of sat with me and was like, hey, we kind of need to address this because up to that point, she kind of sat there and she's like, my kid is not having sex yet.

00:30:02:16 - 00:30:08:19

Nova

We're good. Everything is fine, we're good. And I was like, okay, but that's not really what's happening.

00:30:08:21 - 00:30:23:16

Luna

Okay. Okay. Well, we're about to get into that chapter of your life. But first, I would love to hear what do you think your best qualities as a lover are? Oh, gosh.

00:30:23:18 - 00:30:26:22

Nova

Best qualities as a lover? Oh, that's.

00:30:27:00 - 00:30:31:16

Luna

What does this reaction mean right now? Like what's that? What's happening inside of you?

00:30:31:18 - 00:30:46:18

Nova

It wasn't a question I was expecting. Like, I don't know what, but like that phrasing of the question wasn't what I was expecting of like what qualities as a lover. And I was like, oh gosh, I guess that's true. That is a question I should have expected, but I didn't.

00:30:46:19 - 00:30:50:14

Luna

Or what do you like about yourself as a lover?

00:30:50:16 - 00:30:54:22

Nova

That's always hard because I dealt with so much self-confidence issues growing up.

00:30:55:00 - 00:30:57:07

Luna

That's why I asked this question was really hard.

00:30:57:07 - 00:30:58:15

Nova

It's really hard not know it.

00:30:58:16 - 00:31:19:20

Luna

It's not hard. I want you to redo your language. I think if you drop into yourself as a giver, we all love to give humans all love to give. You know what part is yummy to you when you have a partner? When you have someone in front of you like, you know, just because we're raised in a society that teaches us to shit on ourselves as a way of like, connection, I think that's absolute bullshit.

00:31:19:22 - 00:31:24:00

Luna

And just drop into yourself and like, what are you good at? What do you enjoy?

00:31:24:02 - 00:31:46:11

Nova

I love the fact that I am able to be a switch in almost all senses. I have no problem being a top. I have no problem being a bottom. I love being a Dom, I love being a sub, and I love the fact that my partner like, accepts that of me. And the fact that that just makes me feel so much more confident in my ability when you have somebody that supports you for it.

00:31:46:13 - 00:32:00:01

Nova

So I think my favorite quality about being a lover would have to be the fact that I can switch to allow pleasure for both of us in the best way possible. And I think that's a really key quality.

00:32:00:03 - 00:32:08:04

Luna

That also kind of implies that you're excellent at paying attention. We'll get into details, but that's oh, I.

00:32:08:06 - 00:32:15:03

Nova

I'm pretty good at paying attention. I'll give myself pretty good. But at the same time I have ADHD, so I get distracted really easily.

00:32:15:05 - 00:32:37:08

Luna

I think people with ADHD, in my opinion, really like to criticize themselves in their memory. I would posit that perhaps ADHD is just a different way of paying attention to many things at once. And just because we forget about one thing, it cycles back. You know, I don't. I'm not ADHD. I have like a paragraphs brain. It just seems like ADHD because I'm like, no, no, I'm telling you a long story, so pay attention.

00:32:37:14 - 00:32:44:04

Luna

Okay? Tell us just a little overview of what your sex life is like right now and your favorite parts.

00:32:44:06 - 00:33:05:18

Nova

Are the times I originally said I want to be on this podcast. I was in a poly relationship. Me and my partner now are in just together, and our other partner who was with us, kind of left and we're like, okay, you know what? That's good. I knew it wasn't working out and that's okay. So it's kind of hard now because my only partner lives in Germany.

00:33:05:20 - 00:33:26:12

Nova

Oh, I do not live in Germany. Yeah. So it's a little bit of a difference. So a lot of ours has to be online, which is fine. We have no issue with that. But it also makes those moments of when he's here so much better because then when he is here, we fuck like animals. Yeah. And that is the easiest way to put it, because really, not literally.

00:33:26:12 - 00:33:42:11

Nova

The second he gets here and he gets to the airport, I'm just like, it's not an option. We have to go to the bathroom. Like now if we did, if I could actually like have the confidence to do that, I would absolutely do it. But I don't want to make other people uncomfortable, so I don't.

00:33:42:13 - 00:33:46:04

Luna

Some airports have those like family restrooms. You know, that's.

00:33:46:04 - 00:33:49:05

Nova

Like, I need to find it. I mean, the airport, I need to.

00:33:49:07 - 00:33:56:16

Luna

Throw that out there. I'm just going to do it because because literally no one knows what you're doing. You could be like, oh, I'm, I have a I needed help with a turkey.

00:33:56:16 - 00:33:58:05

Nova

Something like that. That's all that.

00:33:58:05 - 00:34:08:02

Luna

Happened. Yeah. You don't can explain it. So yeah. So okay. But so your sex life is partnered sometimes. What about your sex life solo.

00:34:08:04 - 00:34:28:22

Nova

Oh. So that's always a fun one because I love masturbating. And I will not deny that. But I will also sit here and go, you know what? Some days it's time to take a break. Because what I do now for work, I do content once a week and that's what I set it to, is once a week I make content that way.

00:34:28:22 - 00:34:44:20

Nova

It is that I have some content and it's not like overwhelming to have to do content like every day. Yeah, I just do like two hours timeframe in one day and I get plenty of enough content. So on days that I don't do content well, hold.

00:34:44:20 - 00:34:55:19

Luna

On, you're skipping some details, wait for it. I think you were talking about you said making content, but it sounds like maybe you're masturbating a lot in different ways. Maybe you could just like.

00:34:56:00 - 00:35:24:02

Nova

To percent 100% of that. So because it is that I now mostly do my sex work on OnlyFans, my partner and I call it making content, which is the easiest way for us to explain, hey, we're in the midst of work and don't interrupt right now. So on my OnlyFans I am known as discord Queen. My partner actually gave me that name because he thought it would be very fitting and very much so is.

00:35:24:02 - 00:35:52:08

Nova

So I have a favorite toy and I got him a long time ago, but I call him Rex because that was the name that was on the thing. Rex is a seven inch purple dildo. I love him, he is amazing and so I will often sit there and just use him and kind of edge myself a bit. But every time I end up squirting everywhere and I will literally put down like a protective blanket all over the floor to make sure I don't get it everywhere.

00:35:52:08 - 00:36:15:14

Nova

I will still have to get on my hands and knees and clean up the squirt from off the floor because it is everywhere. So a lot of people on my OnlyFans really enjoy that. So I have one fan who I love dearly because he has made so many requests for custom videos. His favorite is me doing a squirting video standing up and I'm like, okay, I can do that.

00:36:15:16 - 00:36:32:09

Nova

Yeah. So I literally have the camera put underneath me and I'll have like my foot up on the table and I'll just be going at it and I am lucky where I am able to. I think my best was ten times in three minutes that I squirted.

00:36:32:11 - 00:36:36:15

Luna

What? How are you counting? Is it like a gush of liquid or like how do you count ones?

00:36:36:15 - 00:36:49:16

Nova

Yeah. So like okay, so every time there was a huge gush of liquid, I was like, okay, that's one. And then I'd like build up to a second one and I'd go again. And it was like in three minutes I had ten times. And I think that video was actually on my OnlyFans.

00:36:49:20 - 00:36:54:12

Luna

Wow. So yeah, you're an expert hydrator as well.

00:36:54:14 - 00:37:00:08

Nova

I am, I have learned I really have to have hydration is key because otherwise.

00:37:00:10 - 00:37:00:16

Luna

You.

00:37:00:16 - 00:37:14:21

Nova

Just can't do it. And there have been times where I tried to record and it just it doesn't work because I didn't have enough liquid in my body. And I was like, okay, clearly I needed better hydrate. We got one video out of it. We'll try to get a second one later in the week, and that's what it is.

00:37:14:23 - 00:37:34:14

Nova

So I oftentimes do that. I love playing with Rex because it is the most fun I ever have, and there was a long time where my partner would have to use Rex on me to get me to squirt, because I couldn't do it any other way. We have gotten out of that, which I'm really happy about, because now he can make me come with just his cock, which is amazing.

00:37:34:14 - 00:37:54:19

Nova

And I'm like, yes, amazing. I'm very happy about that. But it took a long time to get there. So for a long time, Rex was my only friend, and for even a longer time before that, I just thought I couldn't come because I'd never been able to. I couldn't come, and that was all the way up until I was 19 ish.

00:37:54:21 - 00:38:05:12

Nova

Okay. And I'm 21. So it was only two years ago that I really like, started to actually be like, okay, I can do this. I mean, I can have fun, I can come, I can squirt, this is awesome. But it took a very long time to get there.

00:38:05:13 - 00:38:25:22

Luna

I love it, I love it, I know it does seem the younger we are, the longer a time seems to take. I think I was in my late 20s when I finally, like, realized that gushers of wetness were squirting and it can happen at the bottom. I love that too, because I know if I know I have a date with a partner, I'll be like, make sure you're hydrated because I also can fucking ruin a boner or ruin a wetness.

00:38:25:22 - 00:38:36:03

Luna

And and people just feel better when they're hydrated. But I used to have Adam who would tell me to do that, and that is so hot to me too. Like just hydration as a turn on.

00:38:36:05 - 00:38:49:14

Nova

My partner actually has a app that he like found, and he has it set up for me. So I literally have to drink six glasses of water a day minimum, so that I can stay hydrated enough to do the content later in the night.

00:38:49:14 - 00:38:50:13

Luna

And I'm like, so.

00:38:50:13 - 00:38:54:01

Nova

Yeah, I definitely need this. And it's so hot to have him do that.

00:38:54:03 - 00:38:57:01

Luna

But so wait, so you do you record mostly at night?

00:38:57:03 - 00:39:14:21

Nova

I record mostly at night, but it also depends. So I live in a house with six people still, one of which is my brother, which can be really hard to make content. So I often record at night because not really night more afternoon because then, like my brother's gone to work, so I'm like, okay, I don't have to worry about that.

00:39:14:23 - 00:39:20:05

Nova

The only ones that are here are the people in the basement. And I'm like, cool. I don't have to worry about people hearing me. We're good.

00:39:20:07 - 00:39:20:12

Luna

To.

00:39:20:15 - 00:39:22:12

Nova

So afternoon is my key time.

00:39:22:14 - 00:39:43:10

Luna

I love afternoon delight. I found, you know, sometimes I'm horny enough before bedtime to make stuff and also share it, but sometimes I'm just like, I don't know. It's like night times are my secret. Just for me. One down moment, And I get the most horny in the afternoon for sure. Like for sure. Oh, yeah. Do you, do you have a horny time?

00:39:43:10 - 00:40:06:00

Nova

Specifically a specific horny time. That's always hard for me because I'll wake up horny, like 100%. I'll wake up horny, but at the same time I'm like, I don't really want to do stuff until like, probably around one in the afternoon, because that is the time for me of like, my partner is home from work. I'm not doing anything most of the time because my classes don't run at 1:00 in the afternoon and I'm like, I'm good.

00:40:06:05 - 00:40:12:02

Nova

I can just get off and my partner can be there and he can like, watch. And oh, so nice.

00:40:12:08 - 00:40:31:05

Luna

Is your partner there? Like inspiring you while you're recording content or is it like a small percentage? Oh, you have a little muse. I know you have a literal content muse. That's a fucking dream. Oh my God, the flirt that I'm talking to right now, I'm like, maybe he's a really good candidate, but damn, that's so hot. That's such a turn on.

00:40:31:09 - 00:40:54:08

Nova

Oh yeah. So whenever I'm recording, sometimes I'll have my phone on record and I'll have him on my iPad or on my laptop, and he'll be watching it. And it's so hot sometimes because I'll see him start like, touching himself. And I'm just like, he is getting off to me getting off. And that is hot. And that makes me want to get off more because it's so like it's such a turn on.

00:40:54:08 - 00:41:02:18

Nova

And I love anyone who doesn't have that. I'm just like, oh, you need to experience at least once. Please just have somebody watch you get off to so hot.

00:41:02:18 - 00:41:27:02

Luna

That's so cool. Okay. I fucking love that. All right. We've gotten some of your details already, but let's fill in all the gaps. Take us back to your early years. Tell us when you first remember hearing about sex, what you remember thinking about it, and then take us through your formative timeline, sexually sharing whatever is important to where you are today.

00:41:27:04 - 00:41:47:16

Nova

Okay, so first time hearing about sex. I would have been young because my cousins were so open about the fact they had infertility issues. So that was like a big thing that I heard about because my cousins were all like even older than my oldest sister. So I was young. When I was hearing this, I was like four maybe.

00:41:47:18 - 00:42:07:18

Nova

And I remember it just like learning about it, but not like in full sentences. It was always bits and pieces here and there. So I never got like the full understanding of it. And I never truly understood, like, okay, this is this, this is this. And I was like for a long time. I was like, what is a clit like?

00:42:07:22 - 00:42:24:05

Nova

What is the clit? I didn't know because no one had ever explained it to me. And if nobody explains it to you, you really don't know. And I remember I was sitting at my friend's house with her older sister, and we were talking about like parts of the vagina because she was dealing with she had just had sex.

00:42:24:05 - 00:42:40:22

Nova

Like I would have been a lawyer at this point. I would have been like ten. And her older sister, she was like, oh yeah, I just had sex. And, the condom broke, so I have to get a plan B, and I was like, oh, okay, I don't know what half of this is, but I'm sitting there. I'm like, I'm just like, she's like, I'm bleeding.

00:42:40:22 - 00:43:12:05

Nova

And all this. And I was like, oh, okay. Like I understood, like you bleed and all that. But I didn't understand, like all of it. But I remember her showing me like a diagram of the vagina so that it is that I could actually understand, like where the placement of things were. And to this day, I'm still sitting here and I'm like, I'm still a little lost on like, where the clit entirely is because I know, like, that sounds really bad, but I know that, like, it's sometimes like hidden under folds in that.

00:43:12:05 - 00:43:14:23

Nova

And I'm like, it's hard to find. I will admit that.

00:43:15:01 - 00:43:42:10

Luna

Everyone is different. Everybody is different. Now that I've had a lot of opportunities to look at a lot more clit, do they look different? My look, you know, I spent a lot of time staring in the mirror and looking at diagrams before I was like, really? Sure, you know? And for me, I can feel because my actual clit is so sensitive that when you pull back the hood all the way, I can see this little button and that I never really discovered because it is so fucking sensitive.

00:43:42:10 - 00:44:10:06

Luna

The getting there sometimes for me like to bear all the skin and open her up too much, too much, and she's really, really buried. And it all has to do with placement and like hood shape and size. And so my hood is like kind of small but still covers. But yes, it's a whole thing. And this is why I'm like, I want to do the next version of sex stories where I just do it on all my friends, but I'm allowed to explore each person deeply to close.

00:44:10:07 - 00:44:18:01

Luna

Like, what does that feel like? What does that feel like? So I feel you, you know, it's it takes some research. Right on yourself and others.

00:44:18:03 - 00:44:31:09

Nova

Yeah. So that was like the big one for me. And then after that, I feel like it actually started to get into like actual sex components of like, okay, I'm actually doing sexual acts. I'm doing all the stuff. I would have been about 14.

00:44:31:14 - 00:44:33:13

Luna

This is solo solo discovery.

00:44:33:15 - 00:44:55:10

Nova

No, this is not solo discovery. If I'm counting solo discovery, I would have been about eight. Okay, I think about eight. I actually started to like touch down there. It felt good. I still don't entirely understand, like why it felt good at that time. Because again, never how to talk. Never really. But I understood it felt good and it was supposed to feel good.

00:44:55:10 - 00:45:19:04

Nova

I understood that much. So there was that component. But 14 would have been my first experience with another person. And also. But he was a jackass. He came over, we started like making out and I'm genuinely me making out and we were kissing and all that. And then like, fast forward, his hand went down my pants and I was like, okay, this is fine, I guess.

00:45:19:04 - 00:45:37:11

Nova

And I was a little uncomfortable because I was like, I don't entirely know what's happening here because again, never had to talk. And then it was about two minutes later that all of a sudden his hand went inside and I flipped out and I, like, shoved his hand out. And that hurt because I didn't know what was happening.

00:45:37:13 - 00:45:52:06

Nova

And so it was like really painful. And we kind of just kept making out for a little bit after that. And then he went home. He never really like, said anything after. And when I tried to talk to him, he was just kind of like really rude. And I was like, okay, I need to be done with this.

00:45:52:06 - 00:46:10:15

Nova

I really need to be done with this. I then met my ex, but was my first ever like long term boyfriend. And that was even weirder because fast forward, I turned like 15. It was a little after we had met during hockey and I know very Canadian.

00:46:10:17 - 00:46:13:12

Luna

It's we.

00:46:13:12 - 00:46:39:20

Nova

Met during hockey, ended up coming over and we were dating for a while, and I remember that he bent me over, fucked me, and then he left and I was like, what just happened? Because no one explained anything? And I was so lost. And I was like, I understand what we did with sex. Yeah, but I didn't understand why it didn't feel right and why it felt so rushed and why, like it was such a because he just kind of hit it.

00:46:39:20 - 00:46:52:04

Nova

It was right before he had to leave. He knew he had to leave. His mom was on his way to pick him up. Like, because we were young, right? Oh, well, his mom was on his way to pick him up and he was like, okay. He bent me over, fuck me, and then left because he was like, my mom's here, I have to go.

00:46:52:04 - 00:46:53:22

Nova

And I was like, what?

00:46:54:00 - 00:46:56:11

Luna

Wow, that was the most confusing thing.

00:46:56:11 - 00:46:57:03

Nova

And like.

00:46:57:05 - 00:47:03:07

Luna

A nobody teaches us about aftercare when we're teenagers. Nobody. And the aftercare is not just for kinky people, like nobody.

00:47:03:12 - 00:47:15:08

Nova

No, aftercare was never thought. And it was just never something that was discussed. So that went on for a couple of months. At this point, like none of this was with condoms.

00:47:15:10 - 00:47:20:04

Luna

I was going to ask about condoms. And had you discussed it at all. Okay.

00:47:20:06 - 00:47:39:12

Nova

We had never discussed it. We had never discussed it. It kind of just happened. And I was like, okay, like that's supposed to be how it happens the first time of like, it's not really discussed is more like a feeling. And all this because I wasn't really taught more. Right. So condoms were never used until it is that I came back with a positive pregnancy test.

00:47:39:14 - 00:47:59:11

Nova

That's when it is that he turned around and kind of lost his shit on me. And that's when his true color showed, because at that point he turned around and said, you're not having this kid. And I said, okay, because I was so lost. So I ended up having an abortion, which is a whole, whole can of worms.

00:47:59:11 - 00:48:16:23

Nova

So we're not going to get into that. But I ended up having this abortion, and that really changed my view on sexuality, because at that point, everything that had happened, I turned around and I went, my body is no longer mine to use. It is just to please other people. And I had that mindset going from 15 to 20.

00:48:16:23 - 00:48:33:21

Nova

So for five years I had that mindset of my body is not mine for my pleasure. It is for other people's pleasure. And that's a terrible myth to have. So it led me down some dark paths. I ended up with some bad people, bad things happened and I can't go back and change that, but I can move forward.

00:48:33:23 - 00:48:58:01

Nova

I met my partner and he managed to completely pull me out of that. But even before recording this, we were discussing it and I was so entrenched in my mind that I was nothing more than a sex object, that when I met my partner, I turned to him and I said, look, I just want to have a relationship where you completely dominate me all the time because that's what I had and had experienced all the time.

00:48:58:03 - 00:49:22:03

Nova

So that's what I said to him. And he looked at me and he said, okay. And he never did it. He has never once like fully done that to me. There will be days where he'll turn around and be like, no, like you want to be dominated. I'm going to dominate and that's okay. And I'm like, cool. But for the most part, he has never like, truly spent like days and days on end dominating me because he knows I don't want it.

00:49:22:05 - 00:49:29:13

Nova

And it was just I was so entrenched that my body wasn't mine to control. It was just for other people's pleasure that that's what I had.

00:49:29:15 - 00:49:51:00

Luna

Wow, what a lesson to get during your most formative years as you are, you know, leaving adolescence and coming into adulthood, that's a lot. Rewinding back to when you were eight years old and discovering yourself for the first time, it doesn't sound like there was shame. There. Was there. Do you remember?

00:49:51:02 - 00:50:02:05

Nova

So when I was eight, there wasn't a lot of shame in my own, like personal life of like, this is a bad thing. I knew I couldn't do it around other people.

00:50:02:10 - 00:50:05:20

Luna

But, you know, it was supposed to be pleasurable or you knew it was okay for it to be pleasurable, was.

00:50:05:20 - 00:50:25:06

Nova

Okay to be pleasurable, because I had heard those bits and pieces of conversation of like, you know, it's good to feel pleasure down there and like all that. Then before I'd walk in a room and then they'd shut up on the conversation. I had heard those bits and pieces, and I was like, okay, so it's okay to feel pleasure down there and feel good, but I don't know why.

00:50:25:08 - 00:50:33:17

Nova

Like, I don't know why it's okay to feel pleasure down there. I didn't understand the whole concept behind it, but I did understand that it was okay to feel pleasurable down there.

00:50:33:18 - 00:50:44:21

Luna

Yeah, we've heard a little bit about your OnlyFans work. Like as part of your personal narrative, does it feel important to share any more about other sex works that you've engaged in?

00:50:44:23 - 00:51:12:23

Nova

So I have a Twitter, which is my dominant personality. It is completely just me being a dominant, which I really love, being able to be a Dom on that side. But I love my OnlyFans because I also get to be myself on my OnlyFans where I'm like, I can be my switch side and that's okay. My Twitter is completely me being dominant because my partner on his Twitter, who he actually got me into, it was like, hey, if you want to do this, like, go ahead and I'll support you and I'll help you.

00:51:13:01 - 00:51:16:23

Nova

He's a submissive on his I know, so.

00:51:17:01 - 00:51:24:06

Luna

What we we also have OnlyFans. Or is it just Twitter like sexy? Oh, you don't know. You can just.

00:51:24:12 - 00:51:27:04

Nova

I know we have so much fun with it. Are you also his muse?

00:51:27:06 - 00:51:27:22

Luna

A little bit.

00:51:28:00 - 00:51:31:02

Nova

Dan just a little bit. All right.

00:51:31:04 - 00:51:32:21

Luna

Oh, you're inspired me.

00:51:32:23 - 00:51:51:10

Nova

There's definitely been times where, like, we'll make content together. Like last time he was here, we were in my basement, and we were making content because no one was home. And we're like, okay, let's make all this content. And we did, like, a sexy Dungeons and Dragons theme. And I was a druid, which I don't know if you know, but it's like a person with nature.

00:51:51:10 - 00:52:00:23

Nova

Yeah. And he was a rogue, which is like the person stealing stuff. We made a thing of, like, I caught this sneaky rogue, and he's not even dressed appropriately. It was really hot.

00:52:00:23 - 00:52:02:08

Luna

That's amazing.

00:52:02:10 - 00:52:19:06

Nova

Funnily enough, that's actually how our first sex tape came about was we were recording that day because we were making content together, and it's so sexy to, like, watch each other, make content and to, like, go through the creative process of your brain being like, okay, this is how I want to make this content. It was so sexy to see.

00:52:19:06 - 00:52:39:05

Nova

So we actually ended up making our first sex tape and it was hilarious because I ended up coming all in his hair and my partner is six seven, so like yeah, so the fact that it that I came and it was all in his hair and in his face, I was like, wow, I had a lot of power behind that squirt.

00:52:39:07 - 00:52:50:01

Luna

You power squirted on a giant head. I did, what is it? I really did? Wait, how tall are you? What's it like to be with someone who's six? Seven? I want that so bad.

00:52:50:03 - 00:52:51:16

Nova

So I'm five nine.

00:52:51:18 - 00:53:07:01

Luna

Okay. I'm five eight. So, you know, I mean, I just got picked up and swirled around a hotel room this past weekend by someone who is six one. I was like, this is amazing. I haven't had this in forever. But like, yeah, incredible. How did you meet? Also? Yeah. Tell us what it's like to fuck a big person and also how you met.

00:53:07:03 - 00:53:24:12

Nova

So it's really awesome to fuck a big person because at the same time, like, you just. I'm five nine, so like, I know for an eight fab, I'm tall. Yeah, I know that. Yeah. So I'll sit there and I'll be like, no, I feel small right now. And it's amazing to like just kind of like, oh, it's so good.

00:53:24:12 - 00:53:41:20

Nova

And then when I wear heels, I'm still not tall enough to meet him. So it's even more like amazing because I have six inch heels that I wear when I'm in dorm space. Fuck yeah. And this is amazing. And like, he'll be on his knees and he's still up to my shoulders and I'm like, yeah, this is still so hot to me.

00:53:41:22 - 00:54:08:14

Nova

So it's amazing. And we actually met through my abusive ex who actually started dating him. And then I said I liked him. We were poly by the way, so I started dating. My ex started dating him. I said I liked him, I started dating him the next day and then my ex. Yeah, and then my ex lost her mind and went, no.

00:54:08:18 - 00:54:24:22

Nova

And stop talking to both of us. Well, specifically stop talking to him. And then because we were living together, me and my ex at the time. Yeah, she kind of had to deal with me, but she kind of like, at that point I kind of turned off the whole poly and was like, I'm just going to date people just to get back at you.

00:54:24:22 - 00:54:34:05

Nova

And I was like, okay, okay. So that was a really interesting experience, but I got my partner out of it. So I'm pretty happy cause he's pretty awesome.

00:54:34:05 - 00:54:37:20

Luna

I was going to say, it sounds like you have a really good thing. How often do you get to see each other.

00:54:37:22 - 00:54:52:03

Nova

So we try to see each other at least every couple of months. We see each other every summer at least. I went to Germany for Christmas last year, which was really nice, and I spent three months in Germany and he's coming here this Christmas, so I'm really excited about that.

00:54:52:08 - 00:55:05:04

Luna

That's so cool. Okay, so rewinding back in, is there anything else in your personal story sex work related that feels important for us to know right now? Because I have so many details I want to ask you.

00:55:05:06 - 00:55:34:23

Nova

I think the most important thing that I'd say about sex work is like when I was doing actual, like sleeping with people. It was a bad time in my life, but now I find like it just confirms that, like, I am such a sexual being and that's okay to be a sexual being. And I have people in my life that are great people and being able to be in sex work, but not feel the shame that society puts on you or family puts on you is amazing.

00:55:35:01 - 00:55:36:22

Luna

What do you feel instead of shame?

00:55:37:00 - 00:55:38:01

Nova

Empowered?

00:55:38:03 - 00:55:51:11

Luna

What does that feel like? What is it? What is it? I'm noodling deeply this week on specifics of power, feeling powerful, how ego plays into that, and like how it's different, maybe from feeling empowered.

00:55:51:13 - 00:56:13:19

Nova

It's such a good feeling because you just sit there and you're like, I am strong and I am confident. And that's an amazing feeling to have. When you've had issues dealing with self-confidence, issues. So now that I can sit here like in my sex work, be like, no, I am powerful, I am confident, I am a badass, I can do what I want, and if you don't like what I'm putting out, you don't have to be here.

00:56:13:22 - 00:56:23:11

Nova

That's okay. And like, that's what it took me so long to understand of, like, I am a sexual being and that is okay to be a sexual being for myself.

00:56:23:13 - 00:56:42:19

Luna

Wow. Are there ever moments where that shifts for you. Because I feel like some days I'm like, yeah, I'm there, I'm good with sex and then put me in a certain situation and suddenly I have to introduce myself to someone new and like, explain that my whole life has to do with sex in very, very specific ways. And then I'm still sometimes I'm like, you know, I fluctuate, right?

00:56:42:20 - 00:56:59:01

Luna

I have the days where I'm like, yeah, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex. And then I have days where I'm like, I don't, I can't even talk to a person, you know? And it depends on context, right. So do you feel like you're able to kind of like go forth wherever you are? Or are there still places where you feel that crinkle?

00:56:59:03 - 00:57:20:21

Nova

I think there's definitely still places where I feel that crinkle, because a lot of the people in my life who have not been the nicest have been men. It can be really difficult for me when I'm being my sexual self and a guy. He takes that as an invite to come in and like, hey, and like for free in there with me, you know, not even necessarily for free.

00:57:20:21 - 00:57:23:20

Nova

Like they're trying to get sex work, but they'll like, sit there and they'll just know.

00:57:23:20 - 00:57:30:18

Luna

But he's not paying you to talk to you. He's not messaging you with money on OnlyFans. Okay, so that's for free. Yeah, but.

00:57:30:20 - 00:57:33:06

Nova

He's not trying to get anything. I don't think.

00:57:33:06 - 00:57:35:11

Luna

So. But like, it's a.

00:57:35:13 - 00:57:37:02

Nova

It's possible. I don't ask anymore.

00:57:37:04 - 00:57:52:14

Luna

Well, what I've learned is internet strangers just want stuff. My little sister had to kind of explain this and be like, people just try to get stuff, especially if you're like a person out there. They'll just be like, hey, until you respond, don't respond, hey, people. So she had to tell me that. Yeah, well.

00:57:52:16 - 00:58:03:20

Nova

I had a couple of people who would. My favorite message that I've ever received is still somebody who said, I want to put my big fat cock into your wet pussy and watch you squirt all over me. And I'm like.

00:58:03:22 - 00:58:07:09

Luna

No, at the hello message up. That's the first message you got from me.

00:58:07:15 - 00:58:22:14

Nova

The first message that was the first message I got. Because on OnlyFans you can send out like your message when somebody subscribes to your channel. Right. So that's what was I had my message sent to them and that was what they responded to my messages. And I was like, no, you need to walk away.

00:58:22:17 - 00:58:47:11

Luna

You know, it's such an interesting culture on there because from the research that I'm doing, I'm discovered that a lot of the people who are making 2100 K a month like that's, that's the smash and grab, sort of like as soon as a new person comes in, there's this funnel right where it's completely different from the, like, connected experience that I think we're going there to have, you know, and also make sure your messages are set up so you can only receive messages from people who are paying.

00:58:47:11 - 00:58:48:05

Luna

Maybe I don't know.

00:58:48:10 - 00:59:04:06

Nova

Well, the way my profile is set up is it's a free subscription. And then depending on the video that I'll post, you can pay for the video and you pay for like the private messages, which is awesome. But then that means you do get some of those really weird messages and you just kind of have to deal with it, right?

00:59:04:06 - 00:59:21:00

Luna

Well, that's what I'm like. Nope, you didn't pay enough for that level of of like, you know. So because I always think of it as like you're paying to skip the steps of a relationship, right? So if you want to jump to the part in a relationship where you're like, fucking me in the ass, even if it's a fantasy, you need to pay a proportionate amount.

00:59:21:02 - 00:59:36:01

Luna

And if you don't know what that is, have a conversation with me. But like, maybe work your way up there or, you know, just show me that you value me if you want to turn me on. I got a funny message this morning from like on WhatsApp that was just like, are you open to mutual masturbation via video?

00:59:36:01 - 00:59:55:05

Luna

And I was like, from a complete stranger who didn't even offer tribute. Absolutely not. Please fuck off block, you know? And then they found me again. And I'm just like, you know. So I think that's actually a straight up spam message and not something someone who even owe 100 for who I am. But like, I'm just like, what a strange world we live in and we can't even, like, give it our energy.

00:59:55:05 - 01:00:18:13

Luna

So what about sex work is empowering you or fueling you right now it sounds like there's lots of turn on, sounds like it's healed past parts. Sounds like it's connecting you and your partner. Anything else that we need to sort? It also sounds like you have muses and inspiration, which is just, you know, that's that's why I re-arranging my whole life to be like erotic bucket list focus to like, make that happen on OnlyFans.

01:00:18:13 - 01:00:22:05

Luna

But it sounds like you've had a really good experience with that with your fans.

01:00:22:06 - 01:00:39:02

Nova

Yeah. So OnlyFans. I've definitely had like a really awesome experience with like there's a couple that you sit there and you're like, what? What are you doing? But for the most part, I've had amazing people. They've all been so kind to me because this is like my first time ever doing something like this, right? I sit there and I'm like, you know what?

01:00:39:02 - 01:00:59:21

Nova

I'm getting likes on my photos from people that I don't know. And that feels good because they want to like it. But you sit there and it's just a confidence booster of like, these people are good people that still like my content. And that's okay. That's okay. If all you like me for is my content, and that's okay because you don't know me any more than that.

01:00:59:21 - 01:01:05:08

Luna

And that's okay, right? I'm going to say, if they like you for more than your content, then maybe they're a stalker. I don't know.

01:01:05:10 - 01:01:07:07

Nova

It's a whole other issue.

01:01:07:09 - 01:01:20:12

Luna

It's interesting because as I hear you talk, I am noticing I have some opposite feelings. And like, sometimes I'm like, oh my God, these strangers I don't even know who they are. And I'm trying to talk to them and they know who I am because I'm out there. And what was I thinking? And a five years ago, I didn't know anything, you know?

01:01:20:12 - 01:01:41:00

Luna

And so I'm actually working on cultivating ways to get people to share more about themselves with me, and also just coming to terms with the fact that, like most people won't, and maybe I just don't engage as deeply in these anonymous spaces, but it sounds like there's a space for anonymity in your world that is really, like, cozy and nourishing.

01:01:41:02 - 01:02:01:02

Nova

Yeah, I enjoy the fact that it is like, for the most part, it's anonymous and that's okay. So I think that also plays into the role that like, I like exhibitionism. So the fact the lizard, it's like this person's watching me or like my partner and I put our sex tape on there and it's like this person's watching me and my partner has sex and they're enjoying it like they paid for this.

01:02:01:02 - 01:02:04:04

Nova

And I'm just like, ooh. And this is like a nice feeling.

01:02:04:04 - 01:02:09:03

Luna

Yeah, that's super hot. Would it change for you if you knew who they were?

01:02:09:05 - 01:02:25:15

Nova

I feel like that would be awkward to me. Most of the people I know are like my friends, right? But I'm like, it's quite possible that somebody's on there. I do know, and I just don't know because they don't have like their regular username. And that's quite possible. But I'm like, you know what? That's okay.

01:02:25:17 - 01:02:42:05

Luna

Interesting. See, for me, I'm literally like, there's probably people I know who don't even tell me and they could be talking to me. I could be making specific perfect fantasies for them if they weren't so shy and full of shame, if they just, like, told me who they were and what they were into. And then I could have a muse and be inspired, you know?

01:02:42:05 - 01:02:48:05

Luna

So it's like, what about in person? Would you want to get watched in person? Like, does your exhibitionism under pretend to.

01:02:48:05 - 01:03:03:15

Nova

Okay, hundred percent. There's a sex club here in my town. And I was like, I really want to go and like, just see what it's like, but you have to pay like an annual fee. And I didn't want to go by myself. And my partner's not here often enough that I'd be like, yeah, I'll pay their fee too.

01:03:03:15 - 01:03:26:13

Nova

So I was like, well, I guess we never really went. And I kind of improved in getting that for Christmas for him, just so that we can know now. And I'm just like, that sounds like a fun thing. It was just to kind of go to that because, like, it's such a thing of like we set rules. When we first decided we were going to try to go there, have like no, like first time we're there, it's mostly just a we just want to see what the environment is.

01:03:26:13 - 01:03:41:20

Nova

If we decide like something wants to happen, it has to be with either both of us or there has to be two groups that want each of us. Like no one's going to be just left behind because that's one of his big fears, is that we're going to go. And because he's assigned male at birth, people are going to be like, no, I'm good.

01:03:42:01 - 01:03:55:17

Nova

I just want the girl. And then that wasn't what we wanted. So that was one of our big like, no, this is a strong limit. And I think that was important for us to set. So I might buy that for him for Christmas and just be like, hey, I want to go.

01:03:55:21 - 01:04:13:09

Luna

That's so hot. Okay. But theoretically if you then, you know, started to meet people in this kinky space and even maybe knew their real names and not just seen names, because I think this is also where I'm trying to figure out where do I fit in this world, because it's like it's kind of jarring to meet people in just regular kink spaces who aren't even sex workers.

01:04:13:09 - 01:04:31:19

Luna

And then I'm giving them a different name, and it's a different and they're still like all about it. And I'm like, okay, well, okay, I'm a real person everywhere. So, okay. You know, do you think you would enjoy getting watched by people you knew then if you knew that they were into that? Like if their friends that you met in that place or does that still get into the territory of like, well, no, I'm know them.

01:04:31:19 - 01:04:36:21

Luna

It's weird. Like, is it more about the secrecy and anonymity or is it about permission?

01:04:36:23 - 01:04:50:00

Nova

No, I think it's more about permission for me. Like, I have no problem being like, yeah, I know you. Let's do this. I actually have a friend and their partner who was like, hey, your partner is coming up for Christmas. Do you guys want to have a foursome? And I was like, honestly, maybe.

01:04:50:01 - 01:04:54:23

Luna

Yeah. Oh, I love that you're in a sphere where that could happen. Yeah.

01:04:54:23 - 01:05:14:14

Nova

And I just love how, like, my friend and I can be like, hey, do you want to do this? And we're like, yeah, why not? And I love that we can do that. So, like, I have no problem knowing the person. I think my issue is when it's like somebody I've known since I was little because then I'm like, you've seen me grow up and like, you've seen all the shit I have and I don't want you to bring that up and be like, are you going to do this again?

01:05:14:14 - 01:05:23:00

Nova

Because I'm always terrified that that's what's going to happen, and somebody is going to bring up my past and be like, are you going to do this again? And I'll be like, I can't change what I did at 16, guys. I was 16.

01:05:23:04 - 01:05:32:03

Luna

Yeah, yeah. When did you start realizing that you were genderfluid slash, not monogamous.

01:05:32:05 - 01:05:54:01

Nova

Oh, so I came out as genderfluid when I was in grade ten because my friend had asked me being like, hey, you said you weren't like into girls or guys, but I never asked you what pronouns do you use? And I was like, what? And I didn't even know what to say because I'd never even that thought had never crossed my mind.

01:05:54:01 - 01:06:08:02

Nova

So I was like, I will need to get back to you on that. And then I did like some self-discovery. I did some reading, and I was like, no gender fluid fits. And then I dealt with, like, all of these things of figuring out what pronouns I wanted to use, which was a mess. I eventually ended up on them, but it was a mess.

01:06:08:04 - 01:06:31:15

Nova

And then figuring out I was non-monogamous was very. It was a time because I knew since I was about 16 that sitting in like just with one person didn't entirely feel right the way I described it when I was 16 was, there's more love that I have that can't be filled with just you, and that sometimes hurt people.

01:06:31:15 - 01:06:40:09

Nova

But I didn't have the words to express it the way I needed to. Yeah, and it was more of a you can't offer me everything, and I don't expect you to be able to offer me everything.

01:06:40:10 - 01:06:44:16

Luna

Yeah, no one can. No one person can offer everything.

01:06:44:16 - 01:07:03:06

Nova

Yeah, yeah, it's just not realistic. So I sat there and I was like, you can't offer me everything and I can't offer you everything, so why don't we find people that will help us fill those gaps? We can sit there and be like, I trust this person, and this person makes me feel great. And they maybe, like cuddling, whereas you don't.

01:07:03:06 - 01:07:24:12

Nova

And that's a really great thing. And I like cuddling. So this works out. And like that was a big thing that I feel I needed to express. So as I got older, I was like, okay, I don't hardly know how I want to do this. And now with my current partner, we decided dating separately, like outside of each other, isn't going to work for us.

01:07:24:12 - 01:07:29:13

Nova

So we have to have either a triad or I don't know what the other word would be, but like.

01:07:29:13 - 01:07:30:20

Luna

For some of her.

01:07:31:02 - 01:07:33:04

Nova

Yeah, or some whatever.

01:07:33:06 - 01:07:35:19

Luna

A cool. Exactly.

01:07:35:21 - 01:07:50:11

Nova

We kind of sat there and we're like, a triad seems to fit us best. And we actually have this girl that we're talking to, which I'm really excited about. We're going to see how that goes. We just kind of figured out, like, triad is what works best for us, and it doesn't always work out great for other people, and that's okay.

01:07:50:16 - 01:07:53:16

Nova

But if it works for us, then that's okay too.

01:07:53:18 - 01:08:07:03

Luna

Fuck yeah. What about poly sexual? How did you come to use this word to identify your sexuality? Like, what about it? Is it yummy to you? What does it mean to you for people who aren't familiar with it, or maybe who have a different definition?

01:08:07:05 - 01:08:13:07

Nova

So poly sexual, the way it was always described to me when I was younger was all but one, whereas pan was.

01:08:13:07 - 01:08:14:03

Luna

All.

01:08:14:05 - 01:08:23:01

Nova

And bi was just two. That was always it was defined to me and I was like, well, two doesn't seem right because I like more than just two genders.

01:08:23:04 - 01:08:34:16

Luna

Yeah, there's a lot of gender. Also, bisexual people will also get into a conversation with a I mean, I use the word changeable like bi doesn't just mean two. And it's also like if we're observing gender, all of it's there. So okay.

01:08:34:19 - 01:08:58:08

Nova

100%. That was just what I seem when I was younger. So I was like, this is the definition I know, but I know a lot of people who identify as bi just because it's easier, but they all date all. And I'm like, that's okay. So a lot of my friends identified as Pan and I was like, that's cool, but that's not fitting because I had this really big issue with men and men was like a really big issue for me and I.

01:08:58:14 - 01:09:21:20

Nova

I still cannot date men. It is a hard thing for me. Having sex with them is a really hard thing for me. Non-binary guys I can get behind. I'm like cool. My partner is non-binary, he's amazing. I love him, but like a cis guy, I can't do it. Poly sexual seem to fit better for me and it just seemed to resonate of like, yes, this is what it is because Pan didn't fit.

01:09:21:23 - 01:09:30:21

Nova

Pan never seemed proper to me. I was like, no, poly sexual is where it's at. And besides the flag, I like the flag colors a lot better. Okay, I love that I'm.

01:09:30:23 - 01:09:53:01

Luna

I'm discovering more and more that most of the time queer people mean very similar things like the the actual like what it is, is the same, but the words, you know, and the what resonates with us is important. So I love I love those details. Yeah, I'd love to focus on your turn ons and turn off and maybe hear a little bit more about your switches self.

01:09:53:03 - 01:10:01:14

Luna

I don't know where you want to start. Maybe start with you mentioned wearing six inch heels when you dress up as a domme. So like that's kind of interesting.

01:10:01:16 - 01:10:18:21

Nova

So I do love my six inch heels. I have a six inch black heeled boot that I love to wear. My partner actually got them for me when I was in Germany because I was like, I don't really feel sexy right now. And he's like, well, what about heels? And I was like, I don't know, I don't really wear heels, but I wouldn't mind it.

01:10:18:23 - 01:10:39:11

Nova

And he found this boot and he was like, what about these? And I was like, yeah. And so he bought them for me. And I felt so confident that day. And I think that was kind of what sparked me to be like, no, I want to be more dominant. And I was like, yes, this is what's happening. So it's pretty awesome when I get to sit there and be like, yes, I dress up when it is that I don because I like feeling confident.

01:10:39:11 - 01:11:00:04

Nova

I have a nice black corset that I wear, some nice booty shorts. I felt confident in them and because I needed some confidence today I'm wearing the booty shorts. The confidence that I feel when being able to be Dom is just so nice. However, on the switch side, being able to be a submissive and be able to be like no, I'm just going to take my time.

01:11:00:04 - 01:11:21:16

Nova

You can do what you want within reason. That's okay. And I'm perfectly okay with that. Like my partner, he's amazing and he's able to like sit there and he knows just what gets me going. He loves to like, trail kisses up my thigh all the way up and then just be like, nope, I'm done. And I'm like, you fucking.

01:11:21:18 - 01:11:22:00

Luna

So.

01:11:22:01 - 01:11:39:05

Nova

Mad at him for it. And I'm like, you're such a dick because he knows I have no patience. He knows that. That's why he does that. He loves being able to sit there and just kind of edge me a little bit, because he knows. He knows how to, like, know just the right angle to put my legs out to get me to squirt.

01:11:39:10 - 01:11:51:09

Nova

And then he'll just, like, lower it wrong one way and he'll, he'll be like, oh, I'm so sorry. And I'm like, you fucking dick. Because he knows what he's doing and he'll purposely do it. And I'm like.

01:11:51:11 - 01:11:57:03

Luna

Oh, we are you saying these things out loud? Like, are you kind of a are you kind of a brat.

01:11:57:05 - 01:11:58:21

Nova

100%. I kind of repeat.

01:11:58:21 - 01:12:01:14

Luna

You submissive under. Fantastic. Okay, okay.

01:12:01:14 - 01:12:17:09

Nova

Yeah. So sometimes I'm not a complete brat, but every once in a while, I'll be like, you're such a dick. And I'll say that out loud. Honestly, I think he enjoys that more because then he sits on, he's like, he knows he got me going and he knows I can't do shit about it, because what am I going to do?

01:12:17:09 - 01:12:21:02

Nova

Tell him to stop and just go get a toy that's not as much fun.

01:12:21:08 - 01:12:47:16

Luna

No fucking way. So I am. Oh, that's so delicious. I love being teased so much. Even I'm like you. I'm very impatient. It's frustrating. But also it's so sad when someone doesn't tease me at all. I was dating a guy last year who, like, you know, I was trying to take things slower. I was trying to like make a date, really want to fuck me, etc. so we were doing lots of dirty talk over multiple dinners, and he it's such a big buildup about how much he was going to tease me.

01:12:47:16 - 01:13:04:22

Luna

And I knew this, and I never did massage me. Not only did he not like when we finally fucked, all of it start to finish and this is after like weeks of talking him, knowing that sex is the most important thing in my life, that I have these great gifts to give, that I want to do all this stuff start to finish.

01:13:05:00 - 01:13:24:02

Luna

A little bit of making out. He let me go down on him for about one minute before he was like, I just need to have you. And then I was like, massage first. He's like, no, let me just fuck you first. And it was less than two minutes and then that was over. And I'm not I'm not shaming anyone for like when your penis does its thing, but like that's a selection error.

01:13:24:02 - 01:13:43:14

Luna

And also like, what the fuck is this? So and when I see selection error and pointing at myself with figures to be like, well, okay, you know, learnings, but I think the truth is so hot, even if it's driving you insane. What's the longest you've been teased for without like, like aged four? What's the longest engine you've had?

01:13:43:16 - 01:14:04:05

Nova

Oh, see, I'm terrible for it. And I will literally just turn around and be like, no, I need you to. I need you to do it now because I'm. I'm terrible for it. So I think the longest would have been maybe an hour in, like, it's long, but like, not terribly long, because how literally there was one time where he was like, fucking me.

01:14:04:05 - 01:14:04:16

Nova

And then he just.

01:14:04:16 - 01:14:07:14

Luna

Stopped and I was like.

01:14:07:16 - 01:14:29:13

Nova

What? There was one time, like, we were in Germany, I know we were in Germany. And he turned around and he has. I brought my hog tie. So I'm hogtied and there's a vibe on my clit, which doesn't really do a lot for me, but it gets me like enough that I'm like, I want to have more and I can't get more.

01:14:29:13 - 01:14:51:03

Nova

Yeah, so that's what he did. And he left me there for about 15, 20 minutes while he went and played a game in the next room. And I could hear him, and he just did that. And then he came back and he looked at me and he goes, you okay? Are you okay, puppy? And I'm just like, I, I was not okay.

01:14:51:03 - 01:15:06:19

Nova

And then he turned around and like, it happened, like kind of fucked. And I was like, oh my God. The release I got was so nice. Oh, wow. Oh, nice. After that, because I was just like, yes, I get to come and I get to come as much as I want. However, he made the mistake of putting me on his bed.

01:15:06:21 - 01:15:09:06

Nova

We did not sleep at that night.

01:15:09:07 - 01:15:14:04

Luna

Because it was so squirted out, and that happened more than.

01:15:14:04 - 01:15:17:18

Nova

Once. And I was like, do you not learn? And he's like, apparently not.

01:15:18:00 - 01:15:29:22

Luna

He needs to get the special sheets. He needs to have them for when you come up. Also, just to put on my MREs Health and Safety hat, you were hogtied and he was in another room, but sounds like you were still. It was still and he was right there.

01:15:30:00 - 01:15:43:22

Nova

So the way his room is designed is it's literally just a door. So it's like a wall between us. But the door is right there. So I was like, right on the couch right beside the doorframe. So if I wanted to, I could easily just be like, hey, partner. And he'd be like, yeah, I got you. I'm coming.

01:15:44:00 - 01:15:46:01

Nova

It wasn't as if he had walked away.

01:15:46:05 - 01:16:06:19

Luna

Yeah, I just want to say that out loud. I've heard a couple horror stories now from Doms or people who work in the industry who fully left the room and came back, and the other person was no longer alive because a terrible accident had befallen them. So especially when people are tied up and like, legit, like not able to do things for themselves, we always have to be careful about health and safety.

01:16:06:21 - 01:16:24:20

Nova

The good thing is, is because it's a starter hog tie. It's just Velcro. So if I wanted to, I can manipulate my hands to undo it. I never do, but it's always as a safety habit just in case, because I never want to risk that. Because I've read the books with those horror stories and I'm like, nope, not ever risking that.

01:16:24:20 - 01:16:39:04

Luna

Not for me. Not for today. Okay, good, I love that. So are there certain activities that you're only into as a top or as a bottom, or does it all switch for you, like when you're breeding? Like, are you a breeder or are you always the breed?

01:16:39:06 - 01:16:58:00

Nova

I'm normally always the breeder just because I'm most often with my partner, and he's not really into getting bred the same way like he loves pegging. Don't get me wrong, he loves when I peg and we need to get a better harness for it. And that's one of the things we were talking about for Christmas, because we're like, this needs to happen more.

01:16:58:02 - 01:17:15:23

Nova

But he has gotten to a point where he fully, like, understands it, and he is happy to help him make me make that fantasy come true. All the safety precautions are in place. I'm on like two different birth controls, like I'm good, but it's just the feeling of feeling full and being like, yeah, this person's come is inside me.

01:17:15:23 - 01:17:34:17

Nova

It's such a nice feeling for me. And my partner loves the same feeling, but like, he doesn't really fuck guys anymore. Like we're going to try and like open up to that and see what we can do. But like, he never really fucks guys any more, so he would love it. But I'm kind of sitting there and I'm like, I can use his bad dragon on him.

01:17:34:17 - 01:17:38:11

Nova

That can let me put like the cum lube in it, but that's really all I can.

01:17:38:12 - 01:17:39:11

Luna

Say and I.

01:17:39:11 - 01:17:53:03

Nova

Still definitely want to try that on him. I think we never got a chance to do it because the tube had broken and he didn't get around to replacing it. By the time I got there and I was like, well, that sucks, but it is what it is. So yeah, we're working on doing that as a fantasy.

01:17:53:09 - 01:18:10:23

Luna

That's so hot. So is breeding totally separate from puppy play or are or can they be like, is a puppy a like a baby and you don't suck a puppy? Or are you a puppy to get sucked in then are you a bitch? You know, like, how does it how does that kind of like work? What's the interplay like?

01:18:11:01 - 01:18:30:06

Nova

That's a bit of both. So this is the easiest way I put it, because I like being called puppy. Like I love that, but I don't necessarily just say puppy play. I'd most often say pet play because when he breeds me, he calls me his bunny. He calls me specifically his breeding bunny, which is the hottest thing I ever hear.

01:18:30:06 - 01:18:50:17

Nova

And I'm like, yes, I want to be called the Breeding Bunny. And it's just like it's more. Bunnies are known to getting like having multiple litters and all that. So like, it kind of just fits more and like, yeah, it's my fantasy more and I love him for it. And then puppy play like sometimes like I'll still get bred when I'm in puppy space, but like not nearly the same way.

01:18:50:17 - 01:19:06:05

Nova

Yeah. Like the scenario that plays out is not the same as if I was just getting bred as a bunny. Like getting bred as a bunny versus getting bred as a puppy is very different for me. You can have those different like mindsets. Oh, and I don't always get that. Yeah.

01:19:06:10 - 01:19:08:18

Luna

Do you wear like a Taylor ears ever.

01:19:08:20 - 01:19:12:15

Nova

So I have a mask. Like I have a hood. It's only a half hood.

01:19:12:15 - 01:19:14:01

Luna

You gotta have the mouth available.

01:19:14:03 - 01:19:36:00

Nova

Yeah, I was a little nervous to get, like, a full hood that covered my entire head just in case. Like, I started panicking. Okay? Because if I panic, I have asthma. It turns into a bad day. We don't do that. I have, like, this half hood. So, like, the front half of my face is open. I still have a snout and everything, and you can put a gag in it if you want, or you can leave it undone and you can still fit something through the mouth.

01:19:36:05 - 01:19:40:17

Nova

So I can still give a blowjob and it's really nice.

01:19:40:19 - 01:19:42:10

Luna

Puppies have to lick.

01:19:42:12 - 01:19:49:18

Nova

Of course. And it's my favorite thing of like, I love just burping him, so I'll like take my nose and just kind of like boop them.

01:19:49:19 - 01:19:53:23

Luna

Do over sniff his balls. I feel like that's what I would do as a puppy. Like, you got to go sniff crotch, I.

01:19:53:23 - 01:19:54:23

Nova

Haven't.

01:19:55:00 - 01:19:56:15

Luna

I'll be a puppy at a party and sniff all.

01:19:56:15 - 01:20:16:14

Nova

The ground. I definitely need to do that. I've definitely smelt down there, but not specifically his balls. Like, because that's just never something like I thought of doing. But like I've definitely like gone over and like and then been like, give it a lick. Yeah. You have to like, yeah I'm firm and like, sure he loves it. And like, I gotta make sure it's mine, you know?

01:20:16:16 - 01:20:19:02

Luna

Yeah, yeah. You know that is mine.

01:20:19:04 - 01:20:20:21

Nova

I enjoy it so much.

01:20:21:03 - 01:20:23:01

Luna

Do you know what type of puppy you are?

01:20:23:03 - 01:20:38:06

Nova

I had to say, I feel like I'm more like a Great Dane puppy, almost, because I'm just so big and clumsy and, like, I kind of, like, fall over every once in a while cause my hands and my knees don't always work. Which seems very much like a Great Dane to me. Yeah, I also just have a love for Great Dane, so it kind of like so beautiful.

01:20:38:06 - 01:20:40:06

Nova

It kind of makes sense. They're so cute.

01:20:40:08 - 01:20:49:10

Luna

I love that. What about anal? It sounds like you like to switch with anal. Like it sounds like you're pegging. But also, we don't know anything about your butthole yet.

01:20:49:12 - 01:20:56:19

Nova

Yes. So I had a very bad first experience with anal because my ex did it without lube.

01:20:56:21 - 01:20:57:05

Luna

Yeah.

01:20:57:05 - 01:20:59:06

Nova

And I don't know if you've ever done that.

01:20:59:06 - 01:21:08:15

Luna

If hurt. Yeah. A lot of us have tried anal for the first time and didn't really like, have anyone ever explain lube to us at any point as much. We try it. Yeah. Yeah I'm there with you.

01:21:08:15 - 01:21:31:19

Nova

Yeah. So it hurt and I was put off anal for a long time. And then I met my current partner and we were like okay like let's talk about this. And he was showing me his Twitter and he specializes in anal okay. And that is in his words, he takes a dildo, which we call Goliath. It is the size of his forearm, both in width and in length.

01:21:31:22 - 01:21:39:16

Nova

Wow. So he can take that entire thing. And I'm like, Holy fuck. Like, what the fuck, man? Like, it's so impressive.

01:21:39:18 - 01:21:40:15

Luna

What kind of prep does.

01:21:40:15 - 01:21:58:11

Nova

He have to do? How much prep? So much prep. I kid you not. I think he goes through like, three dildos before he gets there. Yeah, and then he can do it, and then he sits there. It's the most entertaining conversation afterwards, because then he'll sit there and be like, my butthole is gaping wide. And this is an issue.

01:21:58:12 - 01:22:03:09

Luna

And I'm like, that's not okay. But he likes and he loves it.

01:22:03:09 - 01:22:17:02

Nova

But like, it's just funny because then he'll be sitting there and he's like, I need to go sit on the toilet for like two hours before I can do anything else just for it to close. I laugh at him every time because it actually is what he has to do.

01:22:17:03 - 01:22:17:18

Luna

Yeah, yeah, it's.

01:22:17:18 - 01:22:18:11

Nova

Just funny to me.

01:22:18:15 - 01:22:31:05

Luna

But I mean, I love it. Yeah, I love it, I like it. Shut the muscles on the outer, go back and these are the types of details that I'm like, you know, not all the porn people want to talk about those level specifics, but I think there's so much resting.

01:22:31:06 - 01:22:49:17

Nova

There's so interesting. But for me, like, because that was like my first expense, like watching it, it definitely like put me in like a nervous energy of like, I'm not going to be able to get to that level and that's okay. But it was just like, because that was my first time seeing him do it. It was very like scary.

01:22:49:17 - 01:23:12:05

Nova

I was like, Holy shit. And I almost felt like really nervous to be around him for a bit. When it came to sex because, like, I was like, you can do anal so well, and I like I'm terrified to do it still, and I'm barely doing plugs because I was so terrified. I've gotten to a point where, like, I really love it now, and I actually had like my first like actual like I had a dildo.

01:23:12:09 - 01:23:20:15

Nova

It was up there and I was having a fun time. And then I had cleaned and everything and then still made a mess. And I was like, oh, okay.

01:23:20:15 - 01:23:22:21

Luna

Well that happened. That can happen.

01:23:23:03 - 01:23:31:06

Nova

Yeah. And I still enjoyed it. I sent the video to my partner because he still asked for it, and he's like, I want to see the fact that you enjoyed yourself. I want to see that.

01:23:31:12 - 01:23:34:00

Luna

We just can't post it on OnlyFans.

01:23:34:02 - 01:23:36:17

Nova

No, I'm just not posting that on OnlyFans.

01:23:36:19 - 01:23:40:14