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230 | Will You Do My Husband? Zachary Zane on Woo


32 bisexual polyamorous white male, kinkster and author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto, editor-in-chief of Boyslut zine: which publishes nonfiction erotica from kinksters across the globe, into: daisy chains, getting throat fucked, and putting big things up his ass.



🔗 ZACH LINKS |  zacharyzane.com



00:00:00:05 - 00:00:19:12

Luna

Our guest today is a bisexual, polyamorous kinkster and author of Boy Slut a memoir and manifesto. He is the editor in chief of Boyslut Zine, which publishes nonfiction erotica from kinksters across the globe. He is into daisy chains, getting throat fucked and putting big things up his ass. Welcome, Zachary Zane.


00:00:19:14 - 00:00:24:14

Zachary

Oh, that is definitely the best bio. An introduction that I've ever received. And it's all true.


00:00:24:15 - 00:00:40:16

Luna

I love it! I'm so excited to hear your sex stories. Can you please start off by telling our sweet listeners? If you had to rate yourself today on a sexual shame meter, with ten being the most full of shame and one being pretty good to go, where do you fall right now?


00:00:40:18 - 00:00:51:11

Zachary

Oh, I'd say I'm about a 11.5. I mean, my book is literally about how to overcome sexual shame and how I reached the point of starting at a ten and getting to a one.


00:00:51:14 - 00:01:02:03

Luna

Fuck yeah. That fucking awesome. Okay, I will disclose I have not read this book yet, but it is in my future. But could you just give us a little overview right now of what your sex life is like?


00:01:02:05 - 00:01:19:17

Zachary

My sex life was fabulous, which I really appreciate. So I do have a partner right now and we go to sex parties together. We go to sex parties alone again. I'm polyamorous. So my partner is a cis woman. But then I also I'm bisexual, so then I use like sniffy. I don't know if you've heard of that app.


00:01:19:17 - 00:01:20:13

Zachary

It's kind of like.


00:01:20:13 - 00:01:21:08

Luna

Humble.


00:01:21:10 - 00:01:41:19

Zachary

Grindr on crack. Oh, really? Just in case Grindr wasn't enough for you. But the way it is is it's actually a browser as opposed to like an app. So that way you can actually post like dick pics and asshole pics in your profile pic, because that's the reason why you Penn, is because Google and iOS don't allow it.


00:01:41:21 - 00:02:04:04

Zachary

And then what it is, is it's a map. So you see exactly where everyone is on the map. And you can like host poop Hawkins and gang bangers. You can host like come dumb. It really is absolutely fucking wild. So that's how I have more kinkier sex with men. But yeah, I think I'm really lucky to be part of this, like sex positive community where it's like, all my friends are people.


00:02:04:04 - 00:02:14:19

Zachary

I have sex with, you know, the vast majority of them. And we just throw parties where it's just, you know, the 20 of us at a friend's house and we have a party, but it ends with all of us having sex, so it's pretty fun.


00:02:14:21 - 00:02:22:11

Luna

That sounds literally fucking fantastic. What would you say is your favorite part in this moment? It's not an impossible question.


00:02:22:13 - 00:02:39:12

Zachary

I do love it when I take, like a step back and think about like my 16, 17 year old, like closeted self who was like, mortified, you know, to talk to a woman just like it would get like a panic attack. Could not approach and speak to anyone was so awkward. I just thought I was going to like divergent, like I really did.


00:02:39:12 - 00:03:01:05

Zachary

And then to think where I am now is pretty wild. So I do love taking a step back and really also being part of this, like bisexual sex positive kinky community. I think for a while I really struggled, like even after coming out as by just because, you know, women didn't want to date me because they thought I was using it as a stepping stone on the way to being gay.


00:03:01:06 - 00:03:18:18

Zachary

Gay men were extremely condescending and pedantic, being like, oh, Zach, I was bi to you'll get there. And I'm like, this. And now I'm in a space where, like, women want to date me because I'm bi. I'm celebrated for being bi. I taught that I'm bi. So like even that mild fetishization, I love it. I live for it.


00:03:18:18 - 00:03:24:03

Zachary

So I'm in a place where I'm like celebrated for my sexuality and that's a really phenomenal feeling.


00:03:24:05 - 00:03:35:21

Luna

That's amazing. That's a really amazing. I would love to hear in your personal opinion, what do you believe makes you an excellent lover and or what are your best qualities as a lover?


00:03:35:23 - 00:03:56:16

Zachary

Ooh, I think I have a very natural knack at making people feel comfortable and feel like so they can share what it is their desires are, their kinky or desires. I'm direct without necessarily being aggressive or assertive, where I kind of like, state what I want and ask if they're interested in it, and kind of create a space where oftentimes people feel like, oh, that's the first time I've done something like this.


00:03:56:21 - 00:04:13:16

Zachary

I've always want to explore this and never had the courage to do so. So I think a lot of it is just making people feel really comfortable. I think in the way that I kind of talk about sex, where it's like if I talk about it without shame and I'm not embarrassed talking about my desires. I've now created a space for you to not be embarrassed talking about your desires.


00:04:13:18 - 00:04:38:08

Zachary

So I think just that setting, I've also really owned what I like and I communicate that. And so I think a part of it is when I'm really enjoying sex off and my partners are really enjoying sex as well, they see how turned on I am, they get turned on, and then it, you know, grows exponentially here. So I think really owning my desires and being comfortable and explicitly stating what it is that I want and then creating space for them to state what they want.


00:04:38:08 - 00:04:52:18

Zachary

And all of a sudden we're working. You know, we have a party here. You know, we're having a really great sexual connection. So I feel like that's one thing that's taken a while to feel just so comfortable and create that space. But where I am now, and I think that's what makes the sex I have so great.


00:04:52:20 - 00:05:08:14

Luna

That's awesome. Would you say you're typically then in the role of the initiator or on sniffing? Are you ever just like more receptive or just like open to possibility, or are you typically more kind of like focused on fulfilling a desire or initiating with partners? Like, what's that landscape like for you?


00:05:08:16 - 00:05:27:19

Zachary

I think it depends. You know, like for me is sex is so many things, you know, and that's why I love having sex in a way that it's just like I'm really open to all new experiences, things that I have not tried. I just find sex fascinating. And so, you know, I have sex that's about, you know, pushing my limits and extreme hard core stuff.


00:05:27:19 - 00:05:48:20

Zachary

I have sex that, like, is more therapeutic, which is helping me with my anxiety, which is helping move energy around my body. I have sex in a way that really feels like connective and loving, and I have that sex with my partner or just like novelty sex. So I'm really open to everything, but I'm no longer in a place where like if I know I've done something that I do not like it, I'm not going to be like, oh, let's try this again.


00:05:48:20 - 00:05:57:11

Zachary

Like I'll be like, no, I know what I like and don't like. So if we're not a match, I'm not going to necessarily try it. But if it's something that I haven't explored, then I'm open to trying it.


00:05:57:13 - 00:06:11:13

Luna

That's so fun. I love it in the same way. Okay, in that vein, can you please give us an example of a sexy, explicitly clear yes that you have either given or received that led to something super hot for work?


00:06:11:13 - 00:06:18:02

Zachary

I get to travel around and literally go to sex resorts and write about them. So I have a great job being a sex relationship.


00:06:18:06 - 00:06:29:01

Luna

This is on my back. I literally was talking to someone yesterday. I was like, I need to go check out these sex resorts. I know they exist. I just don't know if I could even function in them. And I have to find out which ones are good. You have to tell me where to go.


00:06:29:03 - 00:06:49:04

Zachary

I can really help with that. That is like part of my job, which is so much fun. So I was at LLV, which is luxury lifestyle vacations and they do like swinger takeovers. So the like rent out the entire cruise ship for rent out the entire hotel. And I was there and definitely one of the I think I was 30 at the time.


00:06:49:04 - 00:07:10:22

Zachary

Maybe I'm 32 now for reference. So this is maybe two years ago. Kind of like after the vaccine, like that little era where people were very excited again. And I say the average age of the people there was maybe like 55. And so I was this hot little young thing, you know, flaunting myself in my Speedo. And this woman who it's an all you can drink place.


00:07:10:22 - 00:07:29:13

Zachary

So but she got specific bottle service for herself, which is just such a flex on top of that to get like top, top shelf. And she calls me over and she looks like Kate Hudson or Goldie Hohn. You know, Goldie Hawn's maybe older daughter, you know, somewhere in between their ages, but looks like that gorgeous woman in her late 60 and she's, like, singles me out.


00:07:29:13 - 00:07:47:08

Zachary

I'm like, oh my God. Like, this is awesome. She's like, I'm here. Like, her husband's next to her and like, her husband's just very Miami Vice type deal. And she's, like, flirting with me so hard. And I feel very special and like, oh, it's because I'm this cute young thing. And then she goes, like, are you into men as well?


00:07:47:10 - 00:08:02:05

Zachary

And I go, yes, I am. I'm like, okay, I want you to come back with me. So I go back with her and her husband and then they get like another, like almost like staff worker who works there who had been flirting with. So all four of us can go fuck. And so she clocked me for being by.


00:08:02:08 - 00:08:17:08

Zachary

Oh no, what she said was like, Will you fuck my husband? And I said, only if I can fuck you too. And she goes, I love that. Let's do that. So we go back. I'm having sex with her first. He's having sex with the other woman, then we switch and she goes, I want you to fuck my gay husband.


00:08:17:08 - 00:08:33:13

Zachary

And she keeps on saying, I want you with like, a husband. And as I'm fucking him, he's like shouting. It's like I love being gay so much, I love it. I'm such a gay boy. And like, the wife, like she was like, I'm not joking. Her face was like six inches away from me, penetrating her husband, like, so close.


00:08:33:15 - 00:08:51:00

Zachary

Narrowed in and it was one of the, like hottest, wildest, kind of like, sexual experiences, like this was a thing. And I think the husband is bi, you know what I mean? Like and clearly loves his wife. They've had a great connection. He loved having sex with the other woman too. But it was just like such a funny, hilarious.


00:08:51:00 - 00:09:10:23

Zachary

And like they had like the biggest sweet there. Like it was like these clearly these good millionaires who know exactly what the fuck they want to do. I've been doing this shit for forever and just like, have their life figured out, having the exact sex we want, we probably fucked like an hour and a half. And then literally, they, like, we've all come, we finish and she's like, oh, we're running a half an hour late for dinner.


00:09:10:23 - 00:09:35:06

Zachary

So they'd, like, rush out, like, drink any alcohol you want, you can stay as long as you want. And I was like, I remember like turning to the other woman and being like, what the fuck? Just, you know, what is this whirlwind? Yeah. Those were a lot of enthusiastic yeses that led to, Again, I don't know if it's like a kink or what it was, but an interesting dynamic that I was just not expecting.


00:09:35:06 - 00:09:37:05

Zachary

That was really, really hot.


00:09:37:07 - 00:09:46:13

Luna

I fucking love that. Yeah. And have so many questions about these cruise ships. Did you see a staff member?


00:09:46:15 - 00:09:51:08

Zachary

It was, I don't know, I probably, maybe shouldn't have said that. I'm trying to think like.


00:09:51:10 - 00:09:54:05

Luna

Like I want to work on one of these boats.


00:09:54:07 - 00:10:00:17

Zachary

I think they're not. I don't know if they're like, they're not supposed to maybe do that, but if they're turned on, they're allowed to have be flirty and have some fun.


00:10:00:17 - 00:10:14:17

Luna

So I love that. I think it would actually be very cool to hire people onto a ship where they're not allowed. I mean, whatever, it's my fantasy. Okay. Thank you for that story. That is so fun. What did did you stand drink there? How cool did you rush off to your own dinner?


00:10:14:19 - 00:10:27:23

Zachary

I think at that point my girlfriend was off having sex with someone else and I'm like, oh, I texted her. I looked at my phone. It's like, where are you? Can we get dinner? I finished having sex. I'm like, I'm about to tell you a pretty wild story right now. So then I think the two of us got dinner.


00:10:28:01 - 00:10:45:00

Luna

Damn. That's amazing. Oh my God, already such a good set up for future stories. I'm so excited. Okay, so you already told us a little bit about how sex is a lot of things to you. Can you define sexy for yourselves? Like what is sexy to Zachary Zane.


00:10:45:02 - 00:11:02:18

Zachary

Who again, and I feel like I don't want to be a broken record here, but something that really find sexy is people who are confident about what they like and like kind of engage in it shamelessly. I just find that confidence extremely sexy and that knowledge of being like, okay, this is what I like. This is what I don't like.


00:11:02:18 - 00:11:05:03

Zachary

Here's how we can have an incredible time together.


00:11:05:05 - 00:11:09:10

Luna

What did you ever get of health and safety conversation when you were growing up?


00:11:09:12 - 00:11:29:14

Zachary

Yeah, but it was literally just focused on condoms and like STIs and really demonizing STIs and making it seem like if you get one, you are dirty or filthy, and it's the worst thing that's going to happen to you and your dicks gonna fall off. So I got like the bare minimum. It was nothing about sexual pleasure, nothing about queer sex.


00:11:29:14 - 00:11:41:03

Zachary

It was literally just like STIs and labeling, like, here's the fallopian tube. Like, here's the vast difference. And those are the charts. I'm like, how is this helpful in any way, shape or form? But I was told was to wear condoms.


00:11:41:05 - 00:11:47:13

Luna

Yeah. Okay. Wow. So how do you navigate health and safety conversations now, especially as a poly person.


00:11:47:15 - 00:12:06:11

Zachary

So I'm very open about my level of risk. Right. Because, you know, a lot of queer men in New York City and on these apps, we're all on prep and we don't use condoms the same way. And that's kind of our decision to make you know, it's about sexual autonomy. So I let people know, like, obviously most women want me to wear condoms and I'm more than happy, of course, to wear condoms with them.


00:12:06:11 - 00:12:35:00

Zachary

But when people don't want to, I'm let them know. I'm like, hey, I'm high risk. Like I do have unprotected sex with men. I'm on prep, so we're not going to get HIV. But if something if you are very STI averse, okay, I might not be the person you want to be sleeping with. And the way my girlfriend and I, we navigate it right now is I get tested every six weeks, and after I get tested, if everything comes back negative, we'll have unprotected sex for whatever it is about 2 or 3 weeks, and then I end up, you know, going to a gay sex party or something.


00:12:35:00 - 00:12:56:03

Zachary

And then after that we wear condoms again until I get tested. But I think it's just a lot of communication and honesty about it. I feel like a lot of STI shaming creates people that they don't want to be honest. They don't want to get tested. They kind of skirt these conversations versus I'm like, well, no, like we can have these conversations and it's important to have these conversations.


00:12:56:03 - 00:13:14:04

Zachary

And we all have, again, different levels of risk tolerance when it comes to this stuff. I also know like STIs affect like penises and vaginas very differently. So for me it's like, okay, if I get gonorrhea once a year, you know, I get tested, I treat it, I get tell my partners I just had an uncomfortable 48 hours of drip edge, you know what I mean?


00:13:14:04 - 00:13:30:14

Zachary

It's really not a big deal for me at all. But for other people, it is. So I get tested frequently. I wear condoms with my partners, and I enthusiastically want to if my partner is someone who's like, oh no, I want you to breed me, or oh, I don't want you to wear a condom, then I don't. It requires, you know, a lot of trust and that people know that.


00:13:30:14 - 00:13:43:15

Zachary

Like, for example, if my girlfriend, she knows, you know, there's a time where I just got tested, like a week later, I got drunk and had sex with a dude. And then I told her I was like, hey. So by the way, this happened, and she's like, oh damn, it was annoying. Now we have to wait another four weeks to have unprotected sex.


00:13:43:17 - 00:13:48:19

Zachary

But she trusts me enough to know that I'm not going to lie to her. Right? Like, and if I make a mistake or something, I just let her know.


00:13:48:21 - 00:13:52:12

Luna

How did you come up with the six weeks system? Like, where does that number come from?


00:13:52:14 - 00:14:10:02

Zachary

Just can be, oh, that's not exactly. It's not exactly six weeks. It's right. Probably every six weeks. 6 to 8 weeks. I mean, no matter what, I get tested every three months because of Prep, because I'm on Truvada and that's mandated. But I've realized for me, like because of how much sex I have, like, it's good for me to go in more frequently.


00:14:10:02 - 00:14:14:15

Zachary

And because I don't always have protected sex, especially good for me to go. And more frequently.


00:14:14:17 - 00:14:34:04

Luna

Yeah. Okay, now, I would love to dive into your personal history, and I would love for you to take us through your formative sexual experiences and maybe wrap that up with your work as we get to those years, starting with, when do you first remember hearing about sex? Like what you remember thinking and feeling about it? What are those early formative memories?


00:14:34:06 - 00:14:49:04

Zachary

It's one of the first I'm actually just wrote about this in my book, so I remember I was trying to think of a first time I remember sex, like it was actually like a blowjob. I learned what that meant in the context of Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton. That was the context in which I learned what a blowjob was.


00:14:49:06 - 00:15:06:18

Zachary

I remember being like, what? What's going on? Everyone's talking about it. They're jokes everywhere. And it was that scandal. It was like 98 around then. So I must have been around like seven years old and like, people like talking about it but not wanting to share. So I remember that was the context in which I learned, which was also such a fucked up context to learn.


00:15:06:18 - 00:15:22:05

Zachary

Right? Because you're learning that this is a bad thing to be done and that, like, this woman should not have done, and she's being penalized for having doing it, when clearly it was the most powerful man in the world seducing this woman. And then she becomes, you know, the butt of a joke for forever. I feel quite bad for her.


00:15:22:06 - 00:15:41:13

Zachary

But anyway, so that was the context in which I went for a blowjob. Was sex. I don't remember like the first time. Like I heard about what sex was. I actually don't remember. But I do talk about this in my book. I had OCD growing up and it would manifest with sexual shame, so I would imagine everyone naked and then just start like crying and bawling.


00:15:41:13 - 00:16:00:20

Zachary

I'd be like 7 or 8 years old and convincing myself that I'm a terrible person and I'm this bad person for imagining people naked. And it became this kind of obsession in my mind where I'm like, don't imagine people naked now. I am, I'm a terrible person. So that was kind of one of my, like some of the earliest childhood memories I have surrounding sex or nudity.


00:16:00:20 - 00:16:02:14

Zachary

It is just shame.


00:16:02:16 - 00:16:10:12

Luna

Wow. Yeah. When did that start to shift and or how did that affect your discovery of your own body?


00:16:10:14 - 00:16:29:05

Zachary

I'm trying to think when did it start to shift? I feel like when I got to college and I started getting more educated about actually sexual health, about queer identity and meeting other people who are more sex positive, you know what I mean? I went to Vassar, which is like a small liberal arts school that's very queer friendly and very sex positive.


00:16:29:05 - 00:16:52:08

Zachary

So all of a sudden, I'm being among other people where I'm learning about, okay, why sex negativity exists, why sexual shame exists, why we all experience it, how to combat it. And I would take these courses, you know, I take any sex related course that existed at Vassar so I could learn about it and think it was just through education and actually having an opportunity.


00:16:52:08 - 00:17:10:00

Zachary

Okay, I'm out on my own. I'm in college, a 3000 miles away from my home. I can actually explore sexually and not be worried about it. Like getting back to my family. I have a little bit of freedom here. It's also college, so everyone's having sex with everyone because we're all excited because we're fucking college. And I'm now educating myself.


00:17:10:01 - 00:17:30:07

Zachary

Yeah, but still. Oh my God, the first, like I used to struggle getting hard so much like after my first school for like, literally it was like the first 20 women I had sex with. I was so nervous and just so anxious to be having sex. And like, there would be times where, like, I couldn't get hard. I remember one woman, like, shamed me for it, yelled at me.


00:17:30:07 - 00:17:44:20

Zachary

She's like, are you gay? What's the deal? I'm leaving. And then I turned out to be bi, so. And I know she was just feeling. Of course she was hurt and feeling like, oh, I'm not attractive enough and was hurt. She was lashing out because of her own insecurities and projecting. But I'm like, you know, 18 years old and traumatizing.


00:17:44:22 - 00:18:02:23

Zachary

But like, for years I couldn't get hard. And then I try to leave it like, eventually you're just like, well, I'm not going to get hard anyway. And then you then you do get hard because you're no longer nervous. The same way. So I had a challenging many years, you know, navigating this for sure. But I think it was just over time and having healthy relationships with people who I love to.


00:18:02:23 - 00:18:07:22

Zachary

I trusted educating myself. I was kind of able to move to a place without shame.


00:18:08:00 - 00:18:25:09

Luna

Okay. Can you fill in some of the gaps for us between the kind of like early years that were very shame filled and those college years, like, when did you discover your body? Did you have any like early partnered explorations? It sounds like maybe you had your partnered sexual debut around 18. Like walk us through some of your, like timeline moments.


00:18:25:11 - 00:18:48:00

Zachary

So I remember I first started jacking off very late. I tried to like, masturbate. I was like eighth grade, so 13 and 14 at this point, like all my friends had come and jacking off for a long period of time. I was masturbating and I couldn't come and I'd ask my friends and it's really tough to describe. They're just like, you know, like rub your dick up and down with lube and like, something feels good.


00:18:48:00 - 00:19:05:06

Zachary

Keep doing it. But like, if you've never done it before, it's really difficult to be like, how do you reach orgasm? And so for like six months, I remember trying to like jack off. This isn't the days of like, nudie mags that my brother got from his friend, and his friend stole it from his dad. I remember the name of the magazine.


00:19:05:06 - 00:19:20:22

Zachary

It was called Lesbian Licks. So it was like this lesbian magazine Civil War eating each other out. And I remember like, oh shit, I feel something. And then I came. I had like one tissue and I thought that would be enough. I mean, I had to cut my entire life. It was just like a fucking, like faucet, like absolutely everywhere.


00:19:20:22 - 00:19:36:08

Zachary

And being like, oh my God, what's going on? This is hilarious. And then after that, oh my God, I jack off. Like literally the moment I got home, I would jack off like, I mean, you're 13, 14, your hormones are wild. I was like, jacking off every day the moment I got home. My friend to this day makes fun of me.


00:19:36:08 - 00:19:48:05

Zachary

When I told him I finally came and he does an impression of me with these big bug eyes being like, dude, I did it, I did it and like the joy and like, this is so fucking silly and.


00:19:48:08 - 00:19:48:20

Luna

I love.


00:19:48:20 - 00:20:05:17

Zachary

That. I had a really, I don't wanna say traumatic because I don't know if traumatic is the right word. I don't wanna overuse it. But like, so I was dating this woman at 17 for about six months and had no problem getting hard. Whenever we like, I ate or out or she was blowing me. Fine. We have sex and we, like, plan it for a night.


00:20:05:17 - 00:20:21:20

Zachary

So it's like I've been dating seven months. We had healthy conversations. You plan it for a night, your parents are out of town. I'm so excited to go. I got there, and for the first time ever, I can't get hard. Like when I know we're going to have sex. And I literally ended up just, like, running out of her apartment.


00:20:21:20 - 00:20:39:12

Zachary

I was so embarrassed and so ashamed. Like I started crying and like Zach, like, please don't leave. Like it's cold. Totally fine. You're just nervous. Like, don't worry about it. Yeah, true. Very mature for our age. Yeah. And I literally cried. I got in the car, just started bawling and cried. The entire car ride home. Had to pull over to the side of the road cause I was crying so hard.


00:20:39:12 - 00:20:58:01

Zachary

I felt so ashamed and so embarrassed and emasculated. And then the luckily, I was very lucky to have this woman who I did, who I trust and loved. And you know, we had a gave it a few more shots and then we started having sex with no problem whatsoever. I no problem getting hard. I was coming, I was enjoying it.


00:20:58:01 - 00:21:08:21

Zachary

It was a lot of fun. Probably not the best sex because we're 17 and we have no idea what we're doing. But still, we're still. We were having sex, you know what I mean? So that was a very formative experience in my life.


00:21:09:01 - 00:21:14:00

Luna

Yeah. So was it with new partners after that that it was like hard to say hard. You said it was like for a while.


00:21:14:00 - 00:21:31:12

Zachary

Yeah, exactly. So it was with new partners with that. And then like I learned over time when I would just say like, hey, sometimes I struggle getting hard, just know it has nothing to do with you. Then I would have no problem getting hard, right? Like if there response was just being like, hey, oh, that's totally fine, because I think a lot of it came from the fact that they would be like, oh, I'm not attractive enough.


00:21:31:12 - 00:21:48:10

Zachary

Oh, he doesn't like me. Oh, he's gay, whatever it is. And then it creates this weird dynamic versus if you're like, hey, it actually has nothing to do with you, or because I actually really like you. So I'm nervous and like, oh, that's very sweet. And then if I can't get hard the first couple times, they know it's the reason.


00:21:48:10 - 00:22:05:18

Zachary

And then usually by round three or whatever, I get hard and then it's consistent once that kind of happens. So yeah, kind of in college once I need to have that connection to feel safe in order to get hard. And then over time I just no longer start struggling with it. And also now we live in the age of like Viagra and stuff like that.


00:22:05:18 - 00:22:20:20

Zachary

That's so easy to get online. So it's just like if I'm going to a sex party or something like that, and I know I'm going to have a million eyes on me, I take one for that. So that way there's just no issue whatsoever. So that's a healthy kind of stopgap measure. But I'm like, okay, this is a high intensity situation.


00:22:20:22 - 00:22:34:12

Zachary

I sometimes perform live sex acts at, like sex clubs that I get paid for, which is a ton of fun. And so for that, it's like, I want to make sure that I am hard, right? Like, so you don't want to leave that up to chance. So that's also really helpful for that as well.


00:22:34:14 - 00:22:38:22

Luna

Okay. Ooh. When did you discover your asshole?


00:22:39:00 - 00:22:46:00

Zachary

When did I discover my asshole? So it was pretty funny. So I came out as bi and was very nervous to bottom.


00:22:46:03 - 00:22:47:17

Luna

Wait, when did you come out as bi?


00:22:47:19 - 00:23:04:04

Zachary

I came out as bi after college. After five years of getting drunk and hooking up with guys. Okay? And it was actually my brother who was like, hey, you know, we're all more feminine. You know, I hooked up with a couple guys in college. I think your other brother did too. And we came to this conclusion. We were straight.


00:23:04:07 - 00:23:22:02

Zachary

You've been doing this for five years. Like, at some point, that's like a stable orientation. I was like, oh, my God, I'm going to be, like, married to a man. And on our 40th anniversary, I'd be like, thank you so much for staying with me as I continue to explore my sexuality as a straight man. It's been a very beautiful relationship.


00:23:22:04 - 00:23:37:06

Zachary

So at that point I went to see a therapist and this therapist, like I went in, I would talked about how confused I was, how I think I was gay or straight and all the stuff. And on our second session, he interrupted me. He's like, Zach, you want me to be very blunt with you? Like, that was one of the things you made very clear when you start seeing me.


00:23:37:08 - 00:23:56:21

Zachary

You know, when we say the word confused actually means something almost clinically in an LGBTQ setting, you seem very clearly bisexual. Is there something I'm missing? Is there something you're not sharing? And I go, oh, that shit doesn't exist in men. And he goes, Zach, you're too smart to think that. Which was such a good kind of like ego jab to and it being like, of course bisexuality exists.


00:23:56:21 - 00:24:15:15

Zachary

But at the time, every guy who I knew in college who came out as bi came out as gay shortly after, and there weren't any male bisexual visibility in media or anything I would google by guy and it would just be like studies about like BI guys having and spreading HIV, like or like a ten things to never say to bisexual people.


00:24:15:15 - 00:24:38:16

Zachary

So like it's really did not seem like it existed. So then from that I slowly start to embrace my bisexuality. Yeah. So then I was actually exclusive topping at this point, and I had a guy who I was dating like, you know, we were like in that situation, ship deal for like nine, ten months. And he's like, Zach, you don't verse like at some like, would you like to bottom?


00:24:38:16 - 00:24:55:22

Zachary

You should try it. And I trusted him. So I did it and I did absolutely everything wrong like I did not do. So I just felt very dirty and messy and was worried about that the first time. You're getting like, fucked in the ass. The only sensation you're really used to is shit coming out of your ass. So I kept on thinking I was shitting, you know, so I can be like three poop today.


00:24:55:23 - 00:25:06:10

Zachary

Shit. He'd be like, no, no. And on the seventh time he's like, Zach, if you shit your shit, please stop asking. Like, apparently, you know, asking your partner repeatedly if you shat on his dick isn't a big turn on. Who.


00:25:06:10 - 00:25:10:10

Luna

Knew? I mean, I'm sure there's someone out there, but maybe in general.


00:25:10:12 - 00:25:25:09

Zachary

Oh, no. No, no. Yes. Absolutely not. Don't. Yuck. Anyone's. Yeah, they're definitely people in the scat play. But so we did it. And afterwards I remember like wiping my ass the next day and like blood everywhere because we didn't use enough lube. I was clenching, I wasn't breathing, so I got an anal fissures.


00:25:25:11 - 00:25:28:02

Luna

Fuck. Your first time.


00:25:28:04 - 00:25:46:06

Zachary

Yeah. So then I was like, you know what? This isn't for me, this isn't for me. And then I was dating a woman, and she's bi as well. And she was, like, very excited to do shit to my ass and was like, oh, no, I don't do that. She was like, what? Absolutely. She was like, she was like very upset.


00:25:46:08 - 00:26:05:16

Zachary

And her thing, interestingly enough, was to like, fuck straight dudes in the ass and specifically call them like a fagot and homo and do like a humiliation kink. And I told her, Michael, if you do that for me, I am bi. I am a fagot, I am a homo. Like, I'm going to laugh like it's not going to humiliate me because I don't find my sexuality humiliating.


00:26:05:16 - 00:26:26:22

Zachary

And she was like, well, I still want to get in your ass. And actually a whole chapter about this in my book, it's called Don't Be Gay, just shove it up your ass. I talk about I talk about my experience going into anal play in more detail. But anyway, she was like, act like it feels amazing. Especially because you have a prostate and you're a guy, and she's like, I really want you to try this.


00:26:26:22 - 00:26:46:13

Zachary

And I'm like, okay, since I'm such a great boyfriend, I'll try shoving something up my ass. No. So I go and she's like, make sure you watch porn so you're aroused. Make sure to breathe, use a lot of lube. For some reason, I used conditioner while in the shower and I don't know why. And so, like, my laptop was on the other side, I'm like, contorting myself like a pretzel, trying to, like, stick my fingers up my ass.


00:26:46:13 - 00:27:03:17

Zachary

I'm trying to not fall in the shower. And I'm like, it did not feel good. So I explain this to her and she's like, you did everything wrong again. Like you didn't lose lube, you weren't aroused. And hold on, I'm going to blow you and finger your asshole. Is that okay? And I'm like, again, since I'm such a great boyfriend, I said, okay and she did this.


00:27:03:17 - 00:27:22:08

Zachary

And I was like, Holy fuck, this feels amazing. Amazing. And I like, came my face off. And after that it was so funny because she, like, opened up a Pandora's box where I just kept on wanting shit up my ass. And she was like, well, you know, like, sometimes I'd like you to fuck me too. I'm like, nope, my ass is involved in this.


00:27:22:08 - 00:27:41:21

Zachary

Not going to happen at this point. I'm not actually. But like, no, we had sex where I was penetrating her as well, but it just became this thing where I was like obsessed with it. It felt so good. And then over time, I'm definitely now like completely versus. And I enjoy that. But it is somewhat ironic that of all the guys who tried to fuck me mean like, oh, you're going to love it.


00:27:41:21 - 00:27:45:23

Zachary

Like, don't worry, I'll be gentle. Like it took a woman to get me to fall in love with anal play.


00:27:46:04 - 00:27:57:13

Luna

That's very beautiful. Will you take us through some of the, like, toys that you enjoy playing with? Or kind of like what you've been sticking up there? That's very large lately. Since you know, since it was in your intro.


00:27:57:15 - 00:28:21:09

Zachary

It's it was it was. No. So I love me a good vibrating butt plug. That is Zach's happy place. Some of the best ones are from B vibe. I really enjoy them. They have like huge sizes. I also speaking of which, I feel like a shameless plug, but I worked with Fun Factory on this bisexual flag colored dildo called the buy a more and you can get it on their site.


00:28:21:09 - 00:28:40:12

Zachary

It's sadly not a mold of my penis I really wanted it to be, but they did it to celebrate the release of my book Boy Slut. So you can actually buy the dildo. The Buy Amore is great for beginners because I think it has a little less than five inches of insert a BL length. I highly recommend it for bisexual people because I do love the little bi flag.


00:28:40:12 - 00:28:45:05

Zachary

And you can also buy my book as an add on when you buy the buy a more dildo. Shameless plug.


00:28:45:10 - 00:28:53:01

Luna

Literally so hot. Like I like you having a book that goes with a dildo. Like did you ever think you would achieve what a what a life goal to unlock?


00:28:53:03 - 00:29:04:12

Zachary

It was pretty fucking cool. It is really, really cool that that happened that like I have my own fucking delt. I was pretty sick and it's extremely bisexual, which I absolutely love.


00:29:04:14 - 00:29:11:17

Luna

Damn. When did you become a work slut? A proper boy slut? Like, what was your trajectory like to get to where you are now?


00:29:11:18 - 00:29:32:00

Zachary

So I thought I was going to get a PhD in clinical psychology, and I was working at Harvard Medical Center as a smoking cessation researcher and counselor. So figuring out the best way to get people to quit smoking cigarets. And I was there and I was really bored at work. I asked my boss to put me on like another study, and she was like, well, when clients need you, they need you.


00:29:32:00 - 00:29:48:01

Zachary

We rather you have some downtime. But I didn't want to conspicuously fuck off on like, Facebook because it's just not a good look as people are walking by in the office. So I wrote a novel which will never see the light of day terrified about it, but after I wrote it, to get an agent, you have to write other pieces, right?


00:29:48:01 - 00:30:11:21

Zachary

And so I wrote a piece for XO, Jane's Vertical, if you remember that site from a while ago, and they titled it. I came out as bi and now can't date anyone gay or straight, but it spoke about how the struggles I had coming out as bi in terms of dating, and it wasn't until I met and found love with a bi woman where I felt extremely accepted and loved and appreciated, and we have this very healthy relationship.


00:30:11:23 - 00:30:39:01

Zachary

So that piece went viral in a way I was not expecting. And the reason why, in hindsight, is because there was such a dearth of bisexual content, like everything at the time, was bi content catered or geared towards gay and straight people to prove to them that we exist. So it was like ten things to never say to bisexuals or ten myths about bisexuality or like it was all, you know, justifying our bisexuality to gay and straight people.


00:30:39:03 - 00:30:57:02

Zachary

Versus I actually wrote an article from a bi perspective to other by people discussing you know, how to have a healthy and loving and romantic relationship as a bi person. And the answer was to date other people. So from that, I started getting so much more work, just like people reached out being like, hey, we write a piece for us.


00:30:57:02 - 00:31:15:08

Zachary

And so I became initially known as the bi guy, and I really tackled topics that I hadn't seen elsewhere. Whereas like how to deal with internalized biphobia, you know, how to feel welcome in a gay space even though you're by and you're bringing your woman, you don't want to co-opt that space. You don't wanna make out. At the same time, you deserve to be there.


00:31:15:10 - 00:31:35:12

Zachary

How to come out as bi to your family, how to respond to bigots, or people who don't believe that bisexuality is real. So I really delved into this. And then from that I expanded out. So I just didn't talk about bisexuality. I just started talking about queer sexuality at large and started talking a lot about, you know, gay sex, gay relationships, Grindr, hookup culture.


00:31:35:13 - 00:32:01:00

Zachary

From there, expand it out to all at like straight men as well. And that's how I ended up with the sex and relationship advice column at Men's Health magazine. So I writes, explain it, and then from there expand it out to just all sexuality, all genders, all sex, dating, relationships. And now I actually have an ethical non-monogamy column at cosmopolitan that just started a couple months ago, and it's a monthly column where I share all the mistakes I've made in my polyamorous journey.


00:32:01:00 - 00:32:18:16

Zachary

So you don't have to, because I've been poly for about a decade, and it seems like there's a lot of introductory content to polyamory and ethical non-monogamy right now. When I pitch this column to Cosmo, I was like, there's such a huge interest in ENM, and yet the only articles that exist are like, how to open up your relationship or how to deal with jealousy.


00:32:18:18 - 00:32:33:17

Zachary

And I'm like many of us, are not opening up a relationship and many of us don't struggle with jealousy. I don't really struggle with it. If I do, I talk to my partner about it. I get reassurance we're fine. There's still 10 million things we struggle with that I haven't seen addressed elsewhere. Yeah, so that's kind of how I got to where I am.


00:32:33:17 - 00:32:51:21

Zachary

That's where I got to, you know, writing this book boys slots, which is I'm just so happy with it. And the feedback has been so phenomenal. It is raunchy. It is kinky. I talk about getting throat fucked and like, puking on decks like it is out of control. A lot of fun. But it's about how to overcome sexual shame.


00:32:51:21 - 00:33:09:12

Zachary

I just have never seen a queer story like this, written by an openly bisexual man about how to overcome sexual shame. And so I don't want to see my whole career like culminated in this. I'm only 32. Like like there will be more to have happen. But like, I'm really, really happy that this book is out there and exists.


00:33:09:15 - 00:33:18:23

Luna

Fuck yeah. Yeah, what a great initiate into your life. Like what a great first decade of grown up being writing it. Yeah,


00:33:19:01 - 00:33:35:21

Zachary

I was thinking about how, like, I was going to apply to PhD programs. Ended up not doing it. Had, like, this panic attack. And I was like, God, I would still be in my postdoc right now, like I did six years of a PhD, three years of postdoc, and then you just write grants until you die. I remember like when people would be like, oh, I love my job.


00:33:35:21 - 00:33:58:22

Zachary

I'd be like, fuck you. No one actually loves their job. Like, don't be annoying about it. Like, it's so fucking annoying. You just do it and like, it's fine. And I realize how unhappy I was working at this lab. And again, there are elements of my job that I do not like. There's a shocking number of emails that go along with being a sex writer and just a lot of hatred and flak, of course, that you receive from a lot of people as well.


00:33:59:00 - 00:34:08:13

Zachary

But God, I really do love my job. I get paid to write stories about having sex all around the world. Like, that's pretty fucking cool.


00:34:08:17 - 00:34:15:01

Luna

It's pretty fucking hot. Here's a question do you identify as a sex worker?


00:34:15:03 - 00:34:34:09

Zachary

It's interesting. I usually will say I work in sex because I feel like, not that I have any negative connotation with being a sex worker. I've been paid for sex. I've paid sex workers for sex. I absolutely love sex work. But I also feel like I might be co-opting an identity that's not mine. Exactly, because I don't experience, you know.


00:34:34:09 - 00:34:46:22

Luna

Discrimination, though, isn't it? Because, like, when did I become a sex worker? Was it with this podcast when I started making money talking about my sex life? Is it on OnlyFans or is it when I started touching people, you know, who knows, I don't know.


00:34:47:00 - 00:35:02:17

Zachary

It's tough. I just don't want to make it seem like, oh, I'm a sex worker. So I understand your struggle in a way where it's like, well, no, I'm not on OnlyFans. No, I'm not meeting up with clients the same way. So I don't want to co-opt identity. That's not mine. But I usually say like, yeah, I work in sex is how I frame it.


00:35:02:23 - 00:35:14:01

Luna

The sex industry. Okay. So your sex industry. Exactly. There you go. Oh, you're not like, would you ever make a video content or do you like to keep it all kind of like in-person, uncontained and mysterious and in words?


00:35:14:03 - 00:35:39:20

Zachary

So it's still so weird how even though I write the raunchiest shit, what's so ever? And the digital zine Boy sled on Substack, like I'm talking about getting gang banged and throat fucked in a way that is just so intense. And yet that final push like, and that's completely fine that I write that. But if I actually was to be naked online and have videos of it like that could actually penalize my work, which is hilarious considering I'm a sex writer.


00:35:39:20 - 00:35:55:10

Zachary

But there have been like TV shows or like, oh, like, do you do any? I'm like, I write about sex all the time. Like, oh, well, you can't have an OnlyFans. You can have videos of yourself out there. Like, do you have any like photos of you? I'm like, I've sent nudes to about probably 1500, if not 5000 men on Grindr in my life.


00:35:55:15 - 00:36:13:22

Zachary

My nudes are there. If someone wanted to find them, it would not be hard for free. Oh, right. But also there's something about the allure and the mystery. Because I write about sex so much and I write about me having sex like people imagine it in a way that I think it's they probably think I'm so much better at sex than I am, you know what I mean?


00:36:13:22 - 00:36:33:13

Zachary

I there imagine me doing these, death defying acts and having sex for 50 hours. I like letting your imagination run wild with how I have sex. And so many people have jacked off, like to my articles. Literally hundreds upon hundreds of people have jacked off to it. And they love to tell me exactly at what point they came, which is pretty funny, but hot.


00:36:33:15 - 00:36:46:17

Zachary

And people have jacked off to my book voice loud. I'm like, even though it's more serious and not nearly as raunchy. I'm like, you guys jacking off to it. And literally I did like a post on Instagram or a poll. I think it was like 60%, which was a couple hundred. People were just like, yeah, no, no, we masturbate.


00:36:46:18 - 00:36:51:00

Zachary

I'm like, okay, at what point did you masturbate? And they were sharing it, which is pretty funny.


00:36:51:02 - 00:36:52:23

Luna

That's fucking amazing.


00:36:53:00 - 00:37:08:05

Zachary

But no, I think what I said was if I became a New York Times bestseller, I'd started OnlyFans with full frontal, full face, full asshole shots and everything else people didn't buy. They didn't want to see it that much. They didn't buy enough books. I didn't become a New York Times bestseller, but I guess there's still time.


00:37:08:08 - 00:37:11:23

Luna

I was going to say, to become one. Yeah, so that doesn't mean anything.


00:37:12:01 - 00:37:12:20

Zachary

True.


00:37:12:22 - 00:37:30:22

Luna

True. Wow. Okay, so here's my question. As a person who is working in the sex industry, as your visibility increases, is that affecting your personal life? Like have you had people be like, Zach, come fuck me. Like, what's your sex life been like?


00:37:31:03 - 00:37:52:02

Zachary

It is so interesting. People want to fuck sex and relationship advice columnist people want to fuck the boy slut. And sometimes it's great in general. I tried to not fuck. I don't say fans, but readers, you know what I mean? Like, it's one of those things where if they've put me on this weird pedestal, like I'm like, I don't want to do this.


00:37:52:02 - 00:38:08:13

Zachary

If you're like, oh, I've read your work and it's cool, okay. Like, this is a normal, healthy kind of relationship as opposed to a more parasocial relationship. But it's definitely people want to specifically have sex with me because I write about sex. I'm like, oh my God, am I going to be written about in your zine or written about?


00:38:08:13 - 00:38:28:22

Zachary

I'm like, no, probably not. Like I have a ton of sex that I'm not writing about. I only write about the sex that usually there's some form of like overarching narrative about something I learned about myself or something that speaks to like sex and tech and society, that intersection, whatever it is. But like, no, the vast majority of time, I don't want to write about sex and certain things.


00:38:28:22 - 00:38:46:15

Zachary

I just don't share with public to like. I want to make sure sex is still personal and still mine. Yeah, I think there was a point when I became like a sex writer and like really almost there was like a few months period where I kind of got in my head where I'm like, oh, my. Using the right techniques that I wrote about in this place, or I didn't communicate this.


00:38:46:15 - 00:39:07:19

Zachary

And I got like very in my head and very worried that, like, people would be like, oh my God. Zach writes about sex, but he wasn't incredible in bed or something like a family. I was just like, oh my God, just enjoy yourself and really learn to differentiate between like, okay, yes, I have my sex writer and my persona that I have online and persona is still me.


00:39:07:19 - 00:39:25:09

Zachary

Absolutely. I'm not lying in any way, shape or form, but it's a exaggerated version of me. It's a little bit of a caricature of me. And then I have some things that are definitely just for myself, and that's really important to have too. But I think as my profile grows, I understand my prominent sex writers. You know, people like Dan Savage doesn't talk about a sex life anymore.


00:39:25:09 - 00:39:45:03

Zachary

Really. I like we don't know what type of relationship he has or what's going on there. And I can see probably why that is, you know, it's for his safety. Like I've overshare it a lot. And I now actually ironically now I'm on this podcast really sharing. But I think in terms of aspects of my personal life, I might have to start keeping them a little bit separate moving forward.


00:39:45:07 - 00:40:06:04

Luna

Yeah, I've been asking myself the question of like, what is oversharing? Because I know that my open shares have helped a lot of people, but also. Exactly. I'm now getting into that weird backwards loop thing. And yeah, what you said about the projection pedestal is, is really I feel that so hard core. Yeah. So how do you choose like what makes it compelling for you to select someone new these days?


00:40:06:06 - 00:40:26:12

Zachary

I mean, sometimes if you just catch me when I'm in a horny mood, you're just like the fuck out. You happened to message you on Instagram and I'm just like, been literally writing erotica all day, sitting at my desk, getting myself hard as I'm writing erotica. And you hit me up and I'm like, great, come over. So you just happened to catch me at the right time of me being very hot and turned on.


00:40:26:13 - 00:40:44:16

Zachary

But I think, you know, obviously if I find them sexually attractive, if they're interested in doing something kinky is always something different and new and kinky. I really do like sex, too. So if it's something where people are like, oh, we're planning an event and there's going to be nine of us, I'm like, okay, great, especially since you planned it and I don't have to plan events.


00:40:44:16 - 00:41:02:01

Zachary

I've thrown sex parties and they're just a lot of work. So if you do the work and just want me to come and show up. Yeah. So it's that or engaging in, you know, very specific kink. So if I can find someone who's into that as well, it's like, oh great, we have a match here. But it's like I'm still having a ton of casual sex.


00:41:02:01 - 00:41:20:10

Zachary

Do not get me wrong. So even though I'm like, okay, I'm like being a little more discerning, I am, but I also am not having sex with people, not the people who messaged me on Instagram, you know, not the people who are hitting me up on Twitter. It's just random strangers who I either meet at a party who don't know who I am or, you know, people online and even online when afterwards, like, what do you do?


00:41:20:10 - 00:41:21:10

Zachary

I'm like, what the fuck?


00:41:21:16 - 00:41:24:00

Luna

Yeah. Do you tell them? When do you tell them?


00:41:24:02 - 00:41:37:12

Zachary

I mean, if they ask, it depends if I like them or whatever it is. I mean, there's always the joke that sex workers do where they say, oh, I'm an accountant. And the reason why they say that is because no one has any follow up questions. No one's like, what type of accounting do you do? Oh, taxes. It must be hard.


00:41:37:12 - 00:41:48:00

Zachary

It's just like such a boring profession that no one has follow ups with. So it's a lot of my sex worker friends. Like, what do you do? They just say accountant, which is just such a funny insight or thing that I learned recently.


00:41:48:05 - 00:42:02:06

Luna

I didn't know that my go to is artist, but also like, oh yeah, man, I get away with it. I'm like, yeah, I paint circles, I take pictures, I ride, I do a little bit of everything they do. I just don't tell them, yeah, I just don't do that. It's erotic art until we get deeper.


00:42:02:08 - 00:42:19:06

Zachary

And that's also what I do as well. I can kind of say like, oh yeah, I work in sexual health writing. You know, there's other ways, like, I know how to navigate. I work, you know, an LGBT Q writing, which is also as well I do lifestyle and culture. Like there are ways to be vague about it. And I've learned this for two reasons.


00:42:19:06 - 00:42:40:21

Zachary

Number one, when I'm talking to my parents, friends or talking to adults and they're asking you about it, I don't be like, oh, I wrote about my asshole getting deep, like like, you know, like there are ways to kind of sound legitimate. Hey, I do lifestyle and culture writing that really focuses on the LGBTQ community. I write for Men's Health and Cosmopolitan, but I've also read for New York Times, rolling Stone, Washington Post, GQ.


00:42:41:02 - 00:42:54:13

Zachary

I say that it's impressive. While being very vague and not lying. So I know how to kind of say that to my parents, friends, and then also to people where again, I don't want to lie to them about what I do, but I don't want to then be interrogated about what I do either.


00:42:54:15 - 00:43:03:08

Luna

Yeah. Fuck yeah. Would you feel comfortable sharing some of those kinks that are compelling enough for you to fuck someone new? I sure do.


00:43:03:10 - 00:43:23:11

Zachary

What am I into these days? What I love is what I'm into. Just changes like it really is. I feel like I go through waves of what it is. So I have a chapter about this in my book, which is called A Peg for Every Hole. And it's actually not about pegging, but the idea was no matter what your kinks are, you can find a kink compatible partner I've been doing right now.


00:43:23:11 - 00:43:41:17

Zachary

Like a lot of just like anonymous, brutal throat fucking where like I'll have my, like, head over the bed, I'll be blindfolded, and the guy will I, I'll leave my door unlocked. So he just comes in and drops his pants and like, throat fucks me, but like, just like I'm like, do not let me breathe. I do not wanna be coming up for air if I fucking puke.


00:43:41:17 - 00:43:59:14

Zachary

Keep fucking going. I love this shit. And so I've been very into these, like, intense anonymous throat fucking things as what I've been doing now. And oh yeah, it's hot. And afterwards it's like my throat is like fucking. I have a day where I'm like, right, I can't speak, I can't plan a podcast the day after this, you know what I mean?


00:43:59:16 - 00:44:05:14

Zachary

And also you have to plan accordingly because, like, I can't do it like, oh, I just ate a burrito. It's like, you don't want that nothing up. You know, I.


00:44:05:14 - 00:44:11:07

Luna

Literally did barf nachos one time Deep Throat thing. And I was like, note to self, don't do nothing. Like that's what you.


00:44:11:07 - 00:44:22:19

Zachary

Want is like, I drink a lot of water. It's an empty stomach. So it's more like a messy fluid thing as opposed to like, oh, like puking up nachos, which is going to smell and be gross. Like, not kink shaming. I'm sure people are into that as well. But like.


00:44:22:19 - 00:44:24:15

Luna

It's not what I was going for in that.


00:44:24:16 - 00:44:34:14

Zachary

Instance. Yeah, exactly. Just not what I was going for. So it's like even if I'm turned on and I just had a big dinner, I'm like, hey, we got to wait and actually plan this out here, because otherwise this is going to be too much for all people involved here.


00:44:34:17 - 00:44:39:21

Luna

Wait, so you never see them? It's completely anonymous or do you like, chill afterwards or what?


00:44:39:23 - 00:44:54:10

Zachary

I mean, afterwards, sometimes after they come into my mouth, like, I'll take off my blindfolds and I'll be like, that was hot the way. Yeah, that was hot. They put on their pants and they leave like most of the time. They like. Yeah. And it turns me on so much that I'm like, just let me know when you're about to come because I don't touch myself.


00:44:54:10 - 00:45:00:15

Zachary

In the moment they come, I can just I guess I taste it too, but then I just start shooting as well. So we always come together, which is awesome.


00:45:00:20 - 00:45:02:08

Luna

That's incredible.


00:45:02:10 - 00:45:11:16

Zachary

And I came for the first time, the hands free doing this, which is something that has not happened to me, I think in my life, I think I was just so turned on, I'm like, oh, I'm a sick fuck. This is awesome. This is how.


00:45:11:19 - 00:45:21:06

Luna

Graduation's that is important for her. Wow. Thank you. Would you feel comfortable sharing the specifics of your physical body and what he enjoys?


00:45:21:08 - 00:45:40:10

Zachary

What? Sure. I mean, I definitely love prostate stimulation. You know, a two fingers, you know, while I'm getting blown two fingers, you know, pressed gently against my prostate massaging it is Zach's happy place, and I shoot like a fucking geyser. When that is with any prostate stimulation, I just, like, cut my fucking face off and it feels incredible.


00:45:40:12 - 00:45:59:05

Zachary

I definitely get an extremely, extremely sensitive head of my penis. I mean, I that is the sensitive part, but like, I really like initially like starting with like light pressure, light pressure, light pressure. That's almost like teasing me. And then when you actually do more firmer pressure, I'm like, again, losing my fucking mind. So that's something I really enjoy.


00:45:59:07 - 00:46:22:12

Zachary

I have a very like straight penis so that angles very high up. So there's certain positions. There's like it almost like like touches my belly button when I'm hard, like a little it goes like very up as opposed to out. So there's certain positions that like reverse cowgirl does not work because the angles of like it will stretch my dick forward in a way that's not good.


00:46:22:12 - 00:46:43:12

Zachary

So you do have to find certain angles. I'm also 64. So like, you know, sometimes doing, you know, doggy style. If someone is five feet, there's certain things you just have to navigate. So I've just kind of learned over time like what positions kind of tend to work better and ones that don't. And often it's ones that I'm like typically in control of it.


00:46:43:12 - 00:47:01:18

Zachary

So I have an idea of like what the angle is going to be so I can make sure nothing is snapping here. I also love nipple play. I used to have my nipples gauged and it felt so, so good. And now I had to take them out for a gay water polo league. I was a part of. And like, there's so much less sensitive now.


00:47:01:18 - 00:47:12:23

Zachary

So I'm slowly working up the gauges again to get it back to where I was, because it really felt so, so good. With nipple play, which is now like I'm not as into it as much, so I want to get back into it.


00:47:13:04 - 00:47:17:22

Luna

That's hot. Is it like a partner stimulator or do you, like, touch your own nipples? Will you come or like, is it.


00:47:18:00 - 00:47:18:20

Zachary

It's either.


00:47:18:20 - 00:47:19:06

Luna

Anything.


00:47:19:06 - 00:47:20:01

Zachary

Yeah.


00:47:20:03 - 00:47:21:21

Luna

Nipple clamps.


00:47:21:23 - 00:47:41:09

Zachary

Nipple clamps. And weirdly enough, like, I don't necessarily love them, even though I like the nipple stimulation. And I think it could be it's a little much because I have it pierced to have the clamps. That can be a little painful, but like, I like more like the massaging. And you have the pressure and then releasing pressure, them having pressure, releasing and pressure as opposed to sustained pressure.


00:47:41:11 - 00:47:45:19

Luna

Okay. Yeah. What about your favorite ways to play with other people's bodies?


00:47:45:21 - 00:47:51:23

Zachary

Oh my god. I mean, everything I know that's such a cop out answer.


00:47:51:23 - 00:47:54:16

Luna

So that would be my answer to you.


00:47:54:18 - 00:48:11:13

Zachary

But it's just like, whatever turns you. I mean, I get turned on by what turns you on, but obviously, I love eating people out. I love sucking dick. I love kissing people's necks and slowly, you know, biting them just gently. I know some people over bite, which I don't love. A lot of the people I sleep with, like being choked.


00:48:11:13 - 00:48:13:15

Zachary

And that turns me on as well.


00:48:13:17 - 00:48:33:09

Luna

What's your approach to attending play parties like? It sounds like you have community that you maybe already know a little bit. Are you planning stuff ahead of time? Do you just like show up and see what happens? Do you tend to initiate or are you just like open to whoever comes toward you? Like, what's your kind of sex play party wisdom experience?


00:48:33:11 - 00:48:51:12

Zachary

Yeah, I mean, a lot now, most play parties I go to, I have friends who are there. So I've like some of the play parties I go to. I end up just talking to my friends and not even really hooking up. And you know, you just watch other people have sex and you flirt with some people and maybe you're like, oh, maybe another time we'd hook up, but I'm here with my friends there.


00:48:51:12 - 00:49:09:06

Zachary

Definitely times I go, especially if it's like with a partner and we're like, okay, let's find a third for us. Let's go out and seduce some people together. And that's like a really fun thing to do as a couple. I love flirting as a couple. I think that's so much fun. So I think it could be a combination of people coming up to me being like, hey, I find you really attractive.


00:49:09:06 - 00:49:22:11

Zachary

I'd love to play. And me going up to people being like, hey, I find you really attractive. I'd love to play, you know what I mean? It's a little more nuanced than that. I, in case people are listening who have not gone to sex parties, I don't want them to think it's like that easy or that sex is guaranteed.


00:49:22:11 - 00:49:36:10

Zachary

Like, that's not how it works. But I'm very go with the flow. I think I just like being in that space. So sex is amazing. And I have parties where I fucked a million people and again, parties where I fucked no one and both have been a blast.


00:49:36:12 - 00:49:43:02

Luna

Amazing. What are some kinks that you have already explored? Maybe. What are some kinks you want to explore?


00:49:43:04 - 00:49:57:12

Zachary

Oh my goodness. It's like if I want to explore something I feel like I have. I've never done like a proper like blow bang, buck hockey where it's just like ten decks and I'm like sucking them all at once and they all come on my face like, I would like to do that, although it's you got to coordinate that.


00:49:57:12 - 00:49:59:11

Zachary

That doesn't happen. Usually accidentally. Here.


00:49:59:11 - 00:50:01:03

Luna

I got to do it on purpose for sure.


00:50:01:09 - 00:50:15:12

Zachary

Yeah. I've never been like just like the one bottom with like ten guys or five guys. Whatever it is, it's always been group play. And I'm like, what would it be like to just be, like, fucking destroyed by a bunch of dudes? That is something I want to explore that I haven't yet.


00:50:15:15 - 00:50:28:13

Luna

That's hot. Can you tell us Daisy chain details like I have so many fantasies about daisy chains, but I've never seen one in person, and I kind of wish I had a cock, so I might just have to be part of one with a strap on at some point. But that's so hot.


00:50:28:19 - 00:50:47:00

Zachary

I love Daisy chains, and especially when it's like a myth. So it's like I'm getting fucked in the ass while fucking a woman in the pussy. Not only does you just feel incredible, it's just very affirming. As a bisexual person, you know, it's like when I'm having sex with a 250 pound hairy muscle baddie and I'm fucking his ass.


00:50:47:00 - 00:51:09:07

Zachary

I'm not thinking to myself like, oh, this is very bi. I'm like, this is some gas shit, you know what I mean? This is very gay. What I'm doing is very homosexual right now. You know, when I'm having sex with my girlfriend, I'm not necessarily thinking like, oh, this is bi. Like, it's a very straight side. So, like, when I actually am able to sexually engage with a man and a woman simultaneously and literally having sex with both simultaneously, it just it turns me on.


00:51:09:07 - 00:51:25:01

Zachary

It is affirming and it feels incredible. Obviously, I love things in my ass and I love fucking like it just feels great. And you have to, like the first few times I did it like I failed, you know what I mean? Because, like, you have to get the angles right? You have to know what you're doing. It takes some practice to get used to.


00:51:25:01 - 00:51:48:00

Zachary

I also used to not be able to get hard while getting fucked. That was just like something which is not uncommon. That's just like it's so much stimulation. So you're getting like fucking pounded. So I almost had to, like, train myself to be like, okay, fuck me lightly while I jerk off. Okay. Then we can go slow and then I over time, I like, trained myself to be able to sustain being hard while getting fucked because otherwise, like, I was so turned on and I wasn't nervous.


00:51:48:00 - 00:52:00:12

Zachary

It was just like so much stimulation and so much movement. I wasn't able to do it. So it was took some practice and now it is truly my happy place. Although I haven't in a while, I do it a lot with, do you know Wolf Hudson?


00:52:00:14 - 00:52:01:01

Luna

No.


00:52:01:06 - 00:52:06:12

Zachary

Oh my God, he's like the king of bi porn. He's this very famous bi male actor.


00:52:06:12 - 00:52:08:01

Luna

Then I will know him soon.


00:52:08:03 - 00:52:22:14

Zachary

Yes, you will know him soon. He's amazing. And we play together and always. I must have a woman who I think. What's that like? You know, we'll pimp each other out and the women are like. Yes, please, for the love of God, let's do this. And so he's one of my favorite people to have these bi maps with.


00:52:22:16 - 00:52:33:03

Luna

Damn, that's so hot. Also, the phrase daisy chain training has got to be the title of something already, but that's like, really? It's not that you, like, literally trained for Daisy chain.


00:52:33:05 - 00:52:34:13

Zachary

You got it. Yes.


00:52:34:15 - 00:52:40:15

Luna

Have you been in one with more than three people? Because I'm like, I wouldn't do a daisy circle. I don't know, is that even possible?


00:52:40:17 - 00:52:52:08

Zachary

I think I've done it once the most with like four guys. And I think that point is just running a train. Or as I went running a train and running a train is I'm running a train on someone who's maybe everyone's fucking the one person.


00:52:52:08 - 00:52:54:02

Luna

Yeah, that was more of a gang bang train.


00:52:54:05 - 00:53:09:22

Zachary

And it was more for us to just say, like we did it, because then eventually one person pulled out too far, and then everything kind of shot like it was very difficult for all of us to be inside. All of us, with everyone having different bodies, different sized dicks, different ass installation, different heights. But I think we just did it for about 10s.


00:53:09:22 - 00:53:15:10

Zachary

I'm like, all right, we did it. We didn't say we did it. Let's go back to fucking quiet in pairs here.


00:53:15:12 - 00:53:31:18

Luna

That's so amazing. Oh my God. Okay. Do you have a porn habit? Do you like porn? Do you watch porn? You have a porn friend. Like after that, I mean. Yeah. How do you go back from real life porn up people to regular? Just watching it.


00:53:31:19 - 00:53:48:23

Zachary

I feel like I go through waves. Like when I'm having more sex. I just tend to be watching less porn just because I had sex today, and I'm feeling sexually satisfied at times with whatever it is I'm traveling, I'm stressed. I'm not meeting up with people the same amount. I definitely watch porn and I love it because I feel like I pretty much cum every day.


00:53:48:23 - 00:53:53:04

Zachary

So either I'm having sex every day or I'm watching porn the days off.


00:53:53:06 - 00:53:58:00

Luna

Fuck yeah. Do you remember your first, like, group sex experience?


00:53:58:02 - 00:54:16:06

Zachary

So we didn't have penetrative sex, but this was oh, God, this is a whole a whole story here. But I was going with some friends of mine to like Laguna. Their parents had, like, a place there. And I had a girlfriend at the time. And these were like these two women who were like, best friends. And I kind of had a crush on them.


00:54:16:06 - 00:54:35:07

Zachary

And we drove each other to school and carpool and all this stuff, and we got drunk and like, all hooked up. And it was a part of it was like a dream come true. But I had a monogamous girlfriend and I felt so guilty that the next day I, like, lied to the people I sang with being like, hey, there's a family emergency.


00:54:35:07 - 00:54:52:00

Zachary

I got to go home. I called my girlfriend and I'm like, crying in the car ride home thing. Like I did something terrible. I'm coming over now. She's like, are you okay? Are you safe? And like, no, I'm safe. But like, it's really, really bad. And I explained to her what happened, I'm like waiting for the hammer to fall.


00:54:52:00 - 00:55:10:20

Zachary

And she goes, is that it? And I go, what? And she goes like, oh my God, Zach, I thought you fucking killed someone the way you were on the phone. Like, Jesus, like, oh, God. And she. I'm like, you're not mad. She's like, nutsack. Your friends are skanky. I'm like, what? Like. So I remember being in shock that she wasn't mad.


00:55:10:22 - 00:55:29:00

Zachary

And then me, like, did you just call my friend skanky? What? Like I got of all the words, tears? I remember that that was the word excite. Like, so funny. And then what she did and again, I'm like 16, 17 at this time. For 17 I must have been. And what she then did was describe essentially the difference between polyamory and an open relationship.


00:55:29:00 - 00:55:51:06

Zachary

Before I was familiar with those terms being like, hey, if you actually love these women, I'd be very upset. But if it's just sex or whatever it is, like, I know you love me, I know that's just a fun thing for you to do. And then ironically, this is one of the things that ended up leading to us breaking up, which was even though, like I end up cheating on her like another time.


00:55:51:06 - 00:56:07:07

Zachary

But at this point we were almost open. So I told her the next day and she's like, well, if you start actually having sex with this woman, please wear condoms, act. And when she wasn't jealous, the next time I was upset, like I thought jealousy was a sign of love and affection. So the fact that she wasn't I was like, this person doesn't like me or care for me.


00:56:07:07 - 00:56:15:10

Zachary

And I told her, I'm like, if you hooked up with someone else, I'd be furious. I'd be so angry and jealous and not furious. I think I said I'd be really jealous and hurt.


00:56:15:12 - 00:56:16:02

Luna



00:56:16:04 - 00:56:33:13

Zachary

And I don't feel comfortable with you hooking up with other people, and so. Yeah, that's okay. But, like, if you do, I don't mind. But again, I think there's other things in our relationship. Obviously, I'm also 17 too, but I really now that that sounds like an ideal partner. It's exactly the level of jealousy. I want to know my polyamorous partners who don't get jealous.


00:56:33:15 - 00:56:51:02

Zachary

Yeah. And I wish I had someone like her, but it was pretty wild that at 17 she had such understanding of herself, such understanding, the love I had for her, like just such a level of maturity. And yeah, again, the fact that I broke up with her because I thought her lack of jealousy was a sign that she didn't love me when that was not the case.


00:56:51:03 - 00:56:53:06

Luna

Oh, that was the reason. Damn, that was.


00:56:53:06 - 00:56:54:15

Zachary

One of the main reasons.


00:56:54:17 - 00:57:08:21

Luna

Oh my God, people do that to me too. I mean, I'm, they're like, don't you have feelings? I'm like, yeah, her feelings. I'm just very logical. What do you mean, you know? Yeah. So it's like it's not often appreciated. Wow. Wait. So was that when did you start identifying as polyamorous?


00:57:08:23 - 00:57:35:17

Zachary

Oh my God, that wasn't until I was 23 or 24. So this was 17. So this was like after college, I kind of learned about polyamory and kind of fell into it. And I actually I write about this in my Cosmo column. I actually went into it for the wrong reasons. At the time, I was really not looking for a serious relationship, and I thought things could not be serious because the guy started dating, had a wife and girlfriend, he lived with a boyfriend he didn't live with, and then other like secondary and tertiary partners.


00:57:35:18 - 00:57:51:19

Zachary

But I was like, oh, things can't get serious. Of course we ended up falling in love. I was seeing him six days a week. I end up moving in with him and his wife and his wife's girlfriend, and lived with them for a year. That's for almost a year. Yeah. And that's again, you can read all about this in my book, Boy Slut a memoir manifesto.


00:57:51:20 - 00:58:03:07

Zachary

And everywhere books are sold. Boy slut. One word because Amazon dings you if you do two different words because you can't have slut. Because it's one word. It kind of escapes any being penalized here.


00:58:03:09 - 00:58:06:14

Luna

I wonder if that works for fucks. Let me. I'll try it.


00:58:06:16 - 00:58:07:08

Zachary

In my.


00:58:07:08 - 00:58:09:16

Luna

Me feel weird.


00:58:09:18 - 00:58:20:15

Zachary

But yeah. So that's kind of how I fell into it. So I went into it thinking like, oh, I don't want a serious relationship. I didn't think polyamory was going to be serious. And then it ended up being quite serious.


00:58:20:17 - 00:58:26:03

Luna

You've been to it sounds like maybe a fair number of sexy resorts and places in space.


00:58:26:03 - 00:58:27:05

Zachary

Sure have.


00:58:27:07 - 00:58:45:06

Luna

What have you learned from those experiences and what are your observations about those spaces? And just to let you know, like, it's my personal dream to create my perfect version of that, and I haven't been to these ones yet, and I want to go. But I'm also socially very like, I have a hard time, like with the Savage that I'm usually invited into.


00:58:45:06 - 00:58:45:19

Luna

Yeah.


00:58:45:21 - 00:59:08:21

Zachary

It's interesting. So it's different. There are intergenerational differences. You know, we have this, like, older generation of swingers. For them, it's more they're brought up like, oh no means no as opposed to like yes means yes. So I definitely have heard stories of, you know, other sex writers in their 20s or 30s who were not used to the approach of these older people, and B being like, okay, well, no one's actually doing anything wrong.


00:59:08:21 - 00:59:22:13

Zachary

But like people went into this with different expectations, with a different understanding of consent. So I think it can be a little bit challenging to navigate it. If you come from a place where it's like, okay, like before you ask to hug or touch or kiss someone at most sex parties in New York, like, hey, can I touch you?


00:59:22:14 - 00:59:45:14

Zachary

Can I kiss you? Can I hug you? And this is not a place that that's going to happen. So you have to be very comfortable in your know and saying, like, please don't touch me, as opposed to in other places. Right? So I think that's been an interesting dynamic. I've noticed, like a lot of them are open and not poorly like the older generations where it's like they have their wife who they love, or their husband who they love, but they don't have other partners.


00:59:45:14 - 01:00:04:08

Zachary

They just fuck other people together as a unit. Versus we're seeing the younger generation, which now are definitely more like polyamorous and actually have multiple partners, but they have this intergenerational thing where it's like, yeah, the difference between enthusiastic consent and then this place that utilize more opt out consent is how I define it. But more of a no means no than yes means yes.


01:00:04:10 - 01:00:16:14

Zachary

And so really making sure that you are aware of what the culture of consent is before going into that space, because you don't want to be put in a space where you feel uncomfortable, like if you're not someone who can comfortably say no, then you shouldn't be in the space, right?


01:00:16:16 - 01:00:23:04

Luna

Yeah. Do the spaces curate that all like, are there like, I'm sure there's some sort of like guidelines or something or.


01:00:23:06 - 01:00:38:23

Zachary

I think it depends. I think there are some guidelines for sure about how to do it, but it's more about like approaching people but it's just different. And again, like I've definitely heard of younger people being like, oh, it's really bad with them. I'm like, no, it's not really bad. It's just different. And so you have to be aware of the space that you're going into.


01:00:38:23 - 01:00:47:18

Zachary

But definitely no, I don't want to make it seem like it's a free for all. It's not like consent is still important in these spaces. Absolutely. But it's just a different type than potentially what you're used to.


01:00:47:22 - 01:01:01:12

Luna

Got it. What would you say, in your personal opinion, are either the sexiest elements of a group play space, or kind of like the pieces that lead to hotness? Do you think space has anything to do with it or like the container? What are your insights with your experience?


01:01:01:13 - 01:01:18:15

Zachary

Oh for sure. I mean, that's what the sex parties spend so much time curating a space, right? To give it some sort of vibe and layout with the lighting in the beds and the sheets and the candles and the music, whatever it is, you know, they're definitely like classier sex parties I been to with nicer sheets and beds.


01:01:18:15 - 01:01:41:18

Zachary

I've been to like grimy warehouse basement gay sex parties where it just like reeks of sex and like, it's a dark dungeon. And like, that's also fun, too. So and that's a very different vibe of what you're walking into. So you have to know what the vibes are. And I've definitely been to like sometimes some of these dungeon grimy or places where like a lot more people are just more touchy.


01:01:41:18 - 01:01:51:09

Zachary

And I'm like, I'm not feeling this. I'm going to go, okay, you know what I mean? So also knowing when you're like, okay, I actually thought I was going to be in the mood for this or got turned on by it, but I'm actually not. So I can leave.


01:01:51:11 - 01:01:59:19

Luna

Yeah, okay. What about have you ever been to any erotic theaters or glory halls in erotic theaters or things like that? Is that something you'd be interested in?


01:01:59:21 - 01:02:14:09

Zachary

Yeah. No, no, no, I've definitely been to, like, gay saunas, gay sex clubs in their glory holes there and gotten blown. I've been to just gay clubs that have just like a glory hole set up in the back, a gay bar where it's, you know, a little hush hush and it's like sex is kind of loud, but not really.


01:02:14:09 - 01:02:17:09

Zachary

But they still do it anyway. I love a good glory hole.


01:02:17:11 - 01:02:22:04

Luna

You mentioned that you've paid sex work. Is this something that you share about publicly?


01:02:22:06 - 01:02:36:02

Zachary

I mean, I shudder with you, so I'm sharing about it publicly. People always ask me like, well, Zach, you're hot, you can have sex with whoever you want. Like, why are you paying sex workers? And I'm like, because I just like the dynamic. Like, like I like the fact that money is involved. It's hot when someone is paying me.


01:02:36:02 - 01:02:54:04

Zachary

It's hot when I'm paying someone else. Also, there's certain people who are sex workers online. I follow them on Twitter and Instagram and it's like, this is what they do for a living. And they're like, no, I get paid for sex. By what specifically have sex with them? Then yes. Then that's how it works. Like they're not handing out fucks for free unless they're going on a date and they don't want to go on a date with me.


01:02:54:04 - 01:03:14:13

Zachary

They just want this is their job. So if I specifically want to have sex with someone who I've been jacking off to on OnlyFans, whatever it is. Yes. Like that's exactly how you go about this. I just love money being involved. I also love sex tourism. I love going to places where prostitution is legal, where you go to, yeah, a brothel, whatever it is a brothel.


01:03:14:13 - 01:03:17:16

Zachary

That sounds like such a old school term here. But I.


01:03:17:16 - 01:03:19:18

Luna

Think it's a hot word.


01:03:19:19 - 01:03:29:19

Zachary

Brothel. But places that have it. I was just find it so much fun and fascinating to get a sense of, like, what the sex culture is. What's the sex worker culture here?


01:03:29:21 - 01:03:37:14

Luna

So tell us, what are your hopes for your sexual self going forward both personally and or work wise?


01:03:37:16 - 01:03:55:16

Zachary

I mean I really am pretty sexually satisfied right now. I feel like I'm pretty good about if I want to try something new, how to find partners who are also into it, to have a fulfilling connection, sexual connection with my partners, trying new things with my partner is because I used to really kind of get bored very quickly, and then not want to have sex with them.


01:03:55:17 - 01:04:15:12

Zachary

That became this issue and that I'm really working through. So I think reminding myself and also having I have a lot of fun with sex and a lot of novelty with sex, and also really focusing on having those intimate sexual connections as well with the people that I love. Because sometimes I don't necessarily do that, and because I like having the novelty, the newness, the excitement.


01:04:15:12 - 01:04:33:12

Zachary

So being able to also have that as well in my life, I think would be something to make sure that I work towards. Right. And that's something I am doing with my current partner right now. I'm prioritizing. So that's been really good from a career standpoint. I mean, obviously I want everyone in the world to read my book.


01:04:33:12 - 01:04:51:21

Zachary

I really think he can change people's lives, especially if you are bisexual, queer, kinky, gay, sex positive, or experiencing sexual shame. This book is for you. Yeah, it's funny because, like, you can't write a memoir every year. You know, I could write a different collection of essays, but, like, this is something I've been working on for about 5 or 6 years.


01:04:51:21 - 01:05:12:21

Zachary

This book, it's taking a long time to come out. So I'm not even necessarily thinking about what's next. And I'm almost to the point where I can where it's like, okay, stuff is slowing down the book. It's been out for about six weeks. I'm slowly slowing down on interviews. My book tour is coming to an end. I've done like 13 talks and I think nine different cities, so I don't know what's next.


01:05:12:21 - 01:05:36:15

Zachary

I've been focused on this for so long. I think I might actually get back into fiction, which is something that I wanted to do ten years ago. It will still be sex positive and sexy and slutty and bisexual and kinky. But as I mentioned earlier, I'm kind of moving away from sharing about myself as much and having a little bit of a personal life while still being able to help people by sharing my stories, but not oversharing online.


01:05:36:15 - 01:05:46:07

Zachary

So I think the next thing would be, I really want to do a bisexual rom com and write that as a novel. And that's what I've been talking to my agent about. And she's very keen on the idea.


01:05:46:09 - 01:05:54:20

Luna

Oh, I fucking love that so much. Okay, so if you could wave a magic wand and teach everyone in the whole wide world something about sex, what would you teach them?


01:05:54:22 - 01:06:11:04

Zachary

There's nothing to be ashamed of. I think that's what it is. And that you are normal. I feel like being a sexual relationship advice columnist. So much of what I get is, hey, is it normal that I like this? Is it, like, healthy that I do this? Oh, I think I'm addicted to this. And the questions are just like, am I normal?


01:06:11:06 - 01:06:31:19

Zachary

There's no such thing as normal. If you're looking at it in terms of like prevalence, like, okay, let's say you have a weird kink, weird quote unquote, let's say a different kink, that 0.01% of the population has. That's still, what, like 800,000 people that have it. And now it's easier than ever to find other people because you can get on fat life, you can get on field, you can get on recon if you're a queer man.


01:06:31:21 - 01:06:35:18

Zachary

So just being like you are normal and there's nothing to be ashamed of.


01:06:35:20 - 01:06:43:22

Luna

Fuck yes. And if you can go back in time and give a younger you a piece of sex related advice, what age or ages would you pick and what would you say?


01:06:44:00 - 01:07:10:19

Zachary

I mean, honestly, I'd go back to when I was like 12 and say that bisexuality is real. I think that's what it is like. I know that's maybe a little too much, but just letting you know that it is an option, because at the time I didn't think it was an option I and like and that's kind of that language is actually from Fritz Klein, who's this famous like bisexual researcher, where he has a book that's called The Bisexual Option and showing that, like, it is actually an option for you to be bisexual.


01:07:10:19 - 01:07:24:15

Zachary

It's not just gay or straight. So I wish I had known that it just was an option that I could pick, and I feel like that would have saved me a lot of internal turmoil. A lot of drugs and alcohol. I had to be like blacked out in order to have sex with men. I didn't have a healthy relationship with sex.


01:07:24:15 - 01:07:29:01

Zachary

So much shame. So yeah, I think that's what it what I tell myself.


01:07:29:03 - 01:07:46:02

Luna

Beautiful. And lastly, if you had an unlimited budget to build a sexy playroom or house or castle or mansion or whatever structure you want, it could either be just for you. It could represent, I don't know, it could be for any brand you want. What would you make this space like?


01:07:46:04 - 01:08:11:04

Zachary

Oh, God. Well, I love me a good Jacuzzi. When everyone gets naked in the Jacuzzi. That brings me so much joy. So definitely a big old, like, 50 person sex Jacuzzi. I think I definitely would have a lot of, like, kink up. So you have a lot of places for rope bondage, have a lot of places for impact play, and then somehow figure out a way to do more anonymous scenes.


01:08:11:06 - 01:08:25:18

Zachary

So if I get high, like a few rooms that maybe like have one entrance that I go in and then a different entrance that they go in, so then we can have and it's like completely dark or something, whatever it is. So to have some more like kinky, anonymous sex rooms would be good.


01:08:25:20 - 01:08:35:10

Luna

I love it. I don't like a great place to be a boys lit lovers. You can find Zachary at Zachary zane.com. Thank you so much for being a guest on Sex Stories.


01:08:35:12 - 01:08:38:04

Zachary

Yeah, thank you so much for having me on. This was a lot of fun.


01:08:38:06 - 01:08:39:18

Luna

And go bye, boy. Slap.


01:08:39:20 - 01:08:47:23

Zachary

Yes! Go my boy. Slide. One word sold anywhere. Books are sold. I also have an audible of me reading it. So if you did like my voice, you can hear me reading it as well.


01:08:47:23 - 01:08:51:12

Luna

That's what I'm going to do, that's for sure. What I'm going to do. Okay. Awesome. Thank you so much, Zach.

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