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34 queer pansexual cis woman, she/her pronouns, polyamorous, co-producer of Failed Films Fest, Los Angeles-based.

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Luna Robbie 0:00

And today is a very, very special episode. Can I tell them that you're from my childhood? From my literal childhood?

Lauren West 0:07

Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Also,

Luna Robbie 0:09

my first ever girl crush. Our guest is a 34 year old queer cis woman living in Los Angeles. She is pansexual, poly and currently has two partners, one a cis, straight man, the other a queer, non binary person. She is an exhibitionist, kinky sub who enjoys sex clubs and consensual ravagement. She explores her sexuality in practice and through her art with collage and film work. And she is also a fourth time producer and curator of failed films and adult film and art festival. Welcome. Lauren West, hi. It's so nice to see you again. It is so exciting for me to have you here right now. Let's see where should we should we tell them a little bit like, should we say that you had a threesome?

Lauren West 0:55

Yeah, absolutely. 100% we

Luna Robbie 0:58

ran into each other in Columbia. I mean, like, yeah, like, yeah. Saw the on Facebook that you were there, and I was like, I'm in Bogota. And then we ended up traveling around and like, and like, making out and having some of, like, the best experiences of my life. Like, I never, like, traveled with someone like that before. And, yeah, we also, like, ran into each other at poetry events. And you did make a film for failed films, which was, like, amazing. Lauren is literally the Muse behind art. Is my mistress. And when I made that, I was like, I'm just gonna make one short film a month, and I haven't made anything since, other than making a podcast every week, which is huge, which is a lot, which takes up my bandwidth. You know, yes, all the stuff on Instagram that is now taken down. And so I also, I think I've told this story on pod. I remember being in eighth grade and being in our English class, and like, I was like, going to get a book from the library. And I remember you being, Karen, you're pretty. You're so pretty. Like, and I was

Lauren West 1:50

wearing art so pretty, and we're so pretty, it continued to be just so beautiful. I

Luna Robbie 1:55

had never been complimented like that by a girl. And I also was just like, hot shit. That's, like, the, you know, because, like, my perception of you was like, that's the pretty brunette one in our grade, you know.

Lauren West 2:09

And like, I also didn't even identify that as a crush until decades, like, a year and a 10 and a half later, I don't know, like, so isn't that so funny? I feel like my entire, like, youth was just like, making out with all my girlfriends and, like, yet I didn't even think that I was queer until I was, like, in my mid 20s or something. Had like, so many threesomes. I'm, like, all I want to do is, like, go down on women. Like,

Luna Robbie 2:37

oh,

Lauren West 2:41

everyone thinks girls are pretty, right? Yeah, exactly. And like, somebody said this the other day, they were like, Oh, well, you know, it was the, like, I kissed a girl era, the like, Katy Perry song or whatever. And I was like, Yeah, I guess. But I was like, and maybe it was just that for everybody, but I was going through my friends, like old college, like photo albums, and I'm literally just make out queen in every single photo with every single person. And I'm like, okay, yeah, pansexual makes sense to me. Thank you. 30s. It's so nice. Damn. We've had some good I know, wow. We were like, maybe 12 or something when we met, yeah, yeah, middle school, yeah, wow. It's a great time. Okay? And look how far and

Luna Robbie 3:28

beautiful. Oh, also, I was in one of your films. Oh, absolutely, yeah. And you were being very hot. What did we do? We went to the beach. We

Lauren West 3:35

did, yes, it was for my directorial debut, for filmmaking. And it was for my film The Empress, which was like a depiction of, like my journey and sexuality, using tarot cards as, like the, you know, catalyst, or like the visual representation. And so we did the two of swords together, which had me, you know, naked with the swords on the beach, and then you in this super hot, like, Dom outfit, like whipping me from behind. Like, there's this beautiful moment where, like, it's kind of in slow mo or whatever, and the waves just like, crash up. And every time I show somebody that film, they're like, Oh, that's such a cool moment. Yeah?

Luna Robbie 4:21

God, I fucking love that. Oh so fun. Okay, so let's dive into your story. This is literally such a treat for me, because I think I've only interviewed one of my lovers really. Yeah, wow, I'm honored. So exciting because I'm like, oh, there's so many details I don't know. So would you start off by telling our sweet listeners, if you had to rate yourself on a sexual shame o meter, with 10 being the most full of shame and one being not so shamey at all. Where do you fall? Like, right now, today and like, what's the arc? Roller Coaster

Lauren West 4:50

been like over the years? Oh, my god, yeah. I was saying to you Off mic earlier. Like, right now I'm just like, I'm getting, I'm excited to, like, talk to you and get into this. So my. My shame a meter has gone down. I'd say, like, for me, like a two or three, possibly closer to two. I'm not sure precisely. Like, I don't know, but how does it oscillate like, yeah, this morning I was like, out of 10 thinking about, like, certain stories and like things that I might share and be embarrassed about, and then, like, No, hell yeah, these stories are amazing. Like, I'm at a zero and so, gosh, I mean, the journey throughout my life, like, I think, you know, starting out as, I think a lot of women, people raised as women like do, like carrying, like, a lot of shame for, like, most of our adolescents. And thankfully these days, I'm really grateful for, like, my evolution and where I'm at now and like that, you know, has certainly not dissipated away completely, but like better to, like, analyze it, and, I guess, deconstruct and see, you know, kind of shake those things off well.

Luna Robbie 6:04

And you were making me feel better by saying that also, you have like, almost zero shame when it's a work contest, yeah, but then with partners, sometimes it spikes up still, yeah, no,

Lauren West 6:13

totally. And I think I was mentioning to you, I think HSB conversations that you have with new partners, I think that's one of those, oh gosh, I do have, like, the shame, the huge shame stigma that so many people, like, do have that is also so sadly unnecessary, you know. But like, because we've been brought up with that, like, I think with intimate partners, that's the main thing I think, that I mainly get like, nervous about, but in a work setting, yeah, I'm like, oh gosh, ask me. I'll tell you anything. Well,

Luna Robbie 6:44

actually, let's go out of order and talk about health and safety for a second. Have you ever had a bad experience when you've told someone about HSV so just to remind everyone, I have herpes in my throat. I have HSV two and one orally. And every time I tell a doctor that I have HSV two in my throat, they're like, What? How is that possible? And I'm like, Yeah, deep throating. I don't know.

Lauren West 7:04

What do you think?

Luna Robbie 7:07

Yeah, like, what's your experience been like so far, telling partners, or has it, has there been a negative backlash?

Lauren West 7:13

I think that was like, the entire issue, because when I very first found out, yeah, like, the three people in a row that I'm told I had like, such crazy negative reactions, like, no shade or whatever. But my like, you know, partner at the time, got, like, really flustered about it, and then like, immediately told like, all his best friends. And I was like, That's not your story to tell right now I'm still figuring it out. That's one situation, the other situation. I was dating this woman, and I told you know her right away, and she literally fainted. No, yes. And, I mean, but that's okay, to be fair, there's like, there was a, there's a medical condition involved in there. Like, the, I forget the name, I think it's like, that's all bagel, right? You do have strong reactions to, I think, medical things for you, I know, but like, yes. And then the, like, third person, this just person I was, like, hooking up with at the time. Like, was like, because I was giving the whole spiel, like, I'm like, you know, it's not a big deal, but I just, you know, we didn't hook up this, like, last time, because I wasn't sure how to tell him at the time. And then, yeah, he's like, Well, I don't, you know, want that, and just never spoke to me again. So, like, the first like threat, and so I got this, like, big, you know, that sucks,

Luna Robbie 8:24

because that's three big yucks in a row, which, like, I have personally never gotten, and your poor nervous system, yeah, no.

Lauren West 8:31

I mean, thank God. Like talking with, I mean, I have like, this incredible group of sex positive, queer, sex work, key friends and everyone like that I was surrounded by was like, Oh my God. Like, so do we, so do we? So do we? That's what I wanted to

Luna Robbie 8:46

tell about this story. Because when I had it, I was in my deep, deep, deep shame moment, yeah, failed film, yeah. And I walked in, I was like, I have her bees. And you were like, don't we all, you know. And you, and you told me about and I just immediately was like,

Lauren West 9:05

Oh, well, now we don't have to worry if we hook up. You know. The other thing it was, like, a lot of people have it, and so so many people, damn. So have you had any good experiences? Yeah. I mean, oh, I also just wanted to say, Oh, just like, based on those experiences too, like the negative ones I have found myself, and thankfully, did this, you know, for you, and I hope you had many other experiences like that, but yeah, for the people I know that, like, find out, like, after me or whatever, like, I hope to always just be that person, but like, be Like you're good, like person, like, you're good, so many people have it. So many people don't know they do. And just like, it's hard, it's a hard, you know, like thing to navigate. But like, I feel like the majority of people, if you do, have some version,

Luna Robbie 9:56

80% of people have HSV one. And to be really clear. It's not oral or genital it's like where you have it. HSV one can be in your pussy or on your cock or in your asshole. Like they can go different places. Yes, HSV two is not genital herpes, but it can live in your throat. You know? Yeah, it is supposed to be really hard to get your throat. So, okay, I'm a champion,

Lauren West 10:15

you know? How do

Luna Robbie 10:19

health and safety conversations go for you now, are you feeling more comfortable, or is that something you want to, like, noodle out? Like,

Lauren West 10:25

yeah, I feel like it's, you know. Now I, you know, I'm in these two partnered, like, poly relationships. And I guess I just, like, haven't had to have that many conversations like, as of late, because, like, I feel like, slightly like, poly saturated. So it's not like I am going out, like, on dates all the time, or, like, having to have that conversation, and a lot of the people I like, still hook up with, or people that I know already have it or have already had that conversation with, but like, yeah, I feel like if that dynamic changed, it would be Yeah, something I'd have to figure out and, like, get more comfortable with. Certainly, do you want

Luna Robbie 10:58

to hear how I do it? Yes, and if I this is a repeat for you guys, sorry, or probably I'm gonna tell it different. I don't know. I've been taking the route when I have a new lover, especially if it's in a situation where, like, we're having an emotional connection, or, like, maybe getting a little deeper, I let my partners know I am also on suppressive therapy. And it's also been, I think, more than two years. So at that point, it's like a less than 4% of the time that you even have to worry about any viral shedding that's asymptomatic. So, like, that's the biggest concern. It's like, I'm able to be like, hey, like, do you get tested regularly? What's your health and safety status? Like, like, have you had a clear test in the last month or so, you know? And I kind of see what their answer is, or if they're comfortable around that. And then sometimes, if I remember, if I remember all the order of stuff, do you get cold sores? Oh yeah, and, and they'll be like, yes. Or, you know, some people are like, no, never had one. I'm like, okay, okay, I want to make sure you don't get one. If they've never had one. I'm like, Oh, that's awesome. I was like, Okay, so, you know about, like, herpes, so I have just, you know, I have like, two kinds in my mouth, my throat. I'm not having an outbreak right now. Here's the suppressive therapies I take, and here's what I like to do to stay safe. How does that work for you? Do you think we need to do anything else? Because I had a person who wasn't fully honest with me, even though we had clear agreements about using barriers with other people and talking to people if we had partners in between, and even though we use protection for all the down there things, I thought that going down on this person because we'd had such extensive conversations was going to be okay, but it wasn't. So I want to make sure to make sure you are safe, you know, and so I really position it as like, someone fucked me over. It's okay. They're not a bad person. But I want to make sure that your genitals never hurt the way my throat hurt, because it was one of the most painful things I've ever experienced. And he didn't tell me, so I thought I had bad strep throat, and then it was like, two weeks later that I was like, This is not okay. Like, I was at like, a level nine pain. I couldn't think straight, and so, and I was traveling, so I was like, in Colorado, like I was visiting a friend and, like, and it was a whole thing, you know, and then he finally called me, and I was like, oh, no, so did he not know at the time, or he had unprotected sex with someone the day before me at a party, and then he thought, because he had an open sore, but he was like, icing his dick. And then he, like, finally went to the doctor, and they swabbed with a sore, yeah, and then, but it had been also going on for a minute. And then they also did a blood test. So his blood test came back negative because he hadn't had the virus in his system, you need, like, four to six months for

Lauren West 13:23

it to show up. Like, typically blood test would be really,

Luna Robbie 13:27

yeah, and for for herpes, it's also, like, right away, it doesn't help. But sometimes swab tests can come back negative if you don't swab it when it's at the right point in time. So he thought, he thought I had given it to him and the girl from the party, even though I fucked him after that. And I was like, Wait, so you think, like, there was, like, a whole, like, time and logic, yeah, misstep. I also

Lauren West 13:50

think it's interesting though too, because sometimes, because it can play, like, dormant for so long as well. I mean, it's interesting to me that you even, like,

Luna Robbie 14:02

know, who gave it she had outbreaks at the same time. I was like, What date did you start? Oh, okay, like, so, like, a few days before mine. Interesting, you know, yeah, no

Lauren West 14:12

interesting in that way, because, yeah, I've seen it like, manifest, like, not even with myself necessarily, but just like, months later, or like, but then also, like, if they, you know, didn't know, and then had sex with a partner, and then the person gets it right away. And I'm like, Oh, interesting. Like, for me, I'm like, I have no no, I do, and I don't think I would have even known, because my experience was like, I ended up getting a UTI from using toys that probably were not properly watched, just to be honest, at that point, like, I was like, but this feels a little bit different. And like, but I never have experienced personally, I know it's different for everybody, but like, a really bad breakout, like, I just, I just haven't, you know. And then I was like, this kind of looks different. And I was like, look. Down there, and yeah, and then I got swabbed and it was positive. And I was like, wow, I literally would have never known if I had wasn't, like, so invested in, like, the UTI and just inspecting, yeah, have you

Luna Robbie 15:10

had any breakouts since? So,

Lauren West 15:13

like, good question. It's like, because I feel like they're so mild. I like, Yeah, I think once or twice and I've taken the suppressant, but it hasn't again. It hasn't, like, manifested in a way where I'm like,

Luna Robbie 15:29

see where these is fucking fine,

Lauren West 15:32

yeah, totally. And, I mean, it's different for everybody. And like, yes, when you said you have, like, Level Nine, like, that's untreated

Luna Robbie 15:39

also in my throat, you know, but it's like, yes, it's very, very mean the first time, and very painful. I'm also hypersensitive, and that's why I pretty much stopped eating sugar, because that's the most likely thing that'll make it flare up. I only almost had flare ups both times I got COVID Last July, like, super, like, immune system, like, whatever, at the time. So, yeah, that makes no sense. Yeah, it's a damn It's a wild world out there. I love this. We're off to a shame, smashing start. Will you give us a little overview of what your sex life is like right now? And favorite parts my

Lauren West 16:11

sex life is great. It's really great right now. Like, one of my partners and I are, like, very, very sexually compatible in terms of, like, our kinks, which has just been amazing. Yeah, yeah. I mean, my sex life is, like, pretty consistent. I mean, first of all, my Hitachi, like, never, ever leaves my bedside, so, like, it is fully part of my morning routine. That's just like my self sexual care. Like I literally, I wake up in the morning, I clean up, and then I shower, masturbate, put on clothes, go about my day so a I take care of myself in that way. And then with one of my partners, yeah, we're, like, very sexually active. I mean, we basically, like, live together. We spend most nights together. So I'd say. I mean, maybe like three to I mean, depending on how frisky you look like five times a week or something like that. But yeah, I mean, I think, too, I've been with my partners like, 12 and four years. So I think those, I think, just like your, you know, sexual proclivities and like, ebbs and flows and relationships like that, like, change. So, like, of course, there's, like, you maybe get, like, used to, like, sleeping or together, like, in one bed all the time, or whatever, yeah, and I'm like, we need to get back to the sex club. Like, let's go fuck in the park. You know, let's bring in some toys, and we do. And I'm like, I'm like, what I have really, I have nothing to complain about. I'm amazing. Oh,

Luna Robbie 17:49

my god, that's amazing. What would you say is sexy to you?

Lauren West 17:55

I was thinking about this, like before going through your questions, and I was like, What is sexy to me? Like, this is so interesting. And again, like being like, pansexual, I feel like it can be like so many different things. Agree? I do, yeah, I like, I put it in my notes, like, I was, like, it's like a certain genesaq, you know, it's like this indescribable, I guess vibe. I guess I really do, like, when people are like, vulnerable or just share, like, deeper stories about themselves, I find that really, like sexy to me. There's like some level of, like, confidence and quirkiness and just like there everyone's like individual, like essence, and it's obviously, it's not like everyone, although, to be fair, I do kind of fall in love with everyone. I get it like a lot, 10 seconds, yeah, you know, I do. And then, like, the crushes and the people that stick, I think just have some, I think some sort of, like, off kilter, sweet, confident essence. I don't have

Luna Robbie 18:57

that. Okay, so when do you feel sexiest? When do

Lauren West 19:01

I feel sexiest? So I put in my bio, my like, exhibitionist, like, obviously consensual proclivities. I really like being like, watched, or like recorded, or like, I guess, cammed, or being at clubs, like being in front of people. I mean, that's, I think maybe my kinkiest, sexiest, but on like, day to day basis, well,

Luna Robbie 19:27

you don't go skip past that. I want to hear more about, yeah, because I'm trying to figure out if I'm even an exhibitionist, or if I just don't mind if people are looking so do you have a feeling of like, LA, come here. Look at me. Look at me. Like, is there a receiving quality to exhibitionism that you get off on, or is it just like knowing they're there, or something else? Oh,

Lauren West 19:48

I mean, I think it's both of those things. I think it is receive. I'm like, Yeah, I want you to see me looking so hot when you to see me get Yeah, that gives me pleasure. Like, turns me on and like, I. In this way, like, Oh, I'm like, you want this. I know that makes me feel like to something, but actually

Luna Robbie 20:07

I'm trying to, like, learn that, because mine is more like, oh, ignore all of you. I'm right here, focused on this right now, you know, and I'm and I do get turned on by, like, video and stuff later. But I don't know if that's the feeling of exhibitionism. And I think exhibitionism, like you said in consensual places. Yeah? I love because I love looking, yeah, and so I love the idea that, like, my allowed eyeballs are going to turn someone on. But I don't know if I understand it from the other perspective. So I'm just like, curious what it feels

Lauren West 20:34

like inside of you. Yeah, so, so you don't feel like in the moment, are you? You're, you're saying that you're just, like, focused on whoever you're like playing with at the time, and so you

Luna Robbie 20:43

don't it might be related to, like, narratives from my family of origin that are like, Oh, we're not flashy. Or like, Oh, we're not, you know, like, it might also be like a pushing away of attention. However, if I know that person likes watching and I feel permission to enjoy them enjoying then it's almost like dual, if that makes sense, totally.

Lauren West 21:02

And I mean, I think that is a lot of, like, what happens in like, play spaces, right? I mean, I think, I mean, I think even you have more experience, okay,

Luna Robbie 21:10

into play spaces. And I have never truly felt successful in a play space. I've never fucked in a place. And I am measuring success here by Yeah, which is not

Lauren West 21:20

necessary. And then, you know, like, to your question, or that I read like, so what is fucking to you? Then, like

Luna Robbie 21:25

for me, it classically has been penetration, if it's in terms of fucking. And then, like, now, when I interview sex workers who have to be like, clear about which acts are which, or like porn people, like, are we fucking? It means penetration, sure. So that's been classic for me. But also, like for me, any sort of sex is, like, if we're agreeing it's sex or sexual, it's honestly not something I think about a whole lot, unless the other person is, like, I have these boundaries, and it can't be sex. You know, I'm like, a blow drop is sex? Someone going down on me is sex? If we're touching genitals, it's sex. If you're licking my arm, I don't think that's sex unless that's getting you are. And I know that it's an erotic something, something totally, you know. So I think it's like an energetic choice on some level, like some agreement to get turned on together. Like, I think there's got to be a consciousness to it for I don't think I can accidentally have sex, personally, for me, for my definition,

Lauren West 22:16

I would hope, I mean, if you ever accidentally, well, I mean, of course, you know, if you fall into things, sure, maybe that's accidentally

Luna Robbie 22:23

told dominant partners that I accidentally came while fantasizing about them, but it's, I think it's much easier to accidentally have a fantasy pop into my head and then to get in trouble for not asking permission ahead of time. That makes more sense to me, but actual sex, I don't Yeah, so what's your answer for how do you count sex? Oh,

Lauren West 22:40

yeah. I mean, I think, as you said, it's our narrative default, like, what we're like, we're raised with and, like, says heteronormativity. Like, these days, you know, I've had sex with all, you know, gender identities and so, like, it doesn't have to be, like, a strap on or a penis, you know, to consider it sex. Oh, yeah, fingers are definitely sex. Is that right? Like, yeah, it's interesting. I think I do fall back onto that default when it's like, a penis having person, well, at least it says penis have, you know, yeah. Says man, yeah. I'm like, Yeah, we had sex. And that means, like, PIV. But really,

Luna Robbie 23:19

a lot of the sex I've been referring to lately, I have a partner that spanks me right now, yeah. So a lot of our sex lately has been like Spanx and blow jobs, and sometimes we don't even get to penetration, and it feels completely perfect. It's not

Lauren West 23:31

necessarily PIV, but it's pi

Luna Robbie 23:35

m like, there's penetration still counts, and I still get finger fucked, you know, even if we're not, yeah, it's definitely sex. So my yeah in, my Yeah, yeah, we'll talk about that was great sex, you know, like, Yeah,

Lauren West 23:48

sure. I like your definition, or what you said about, like, energetically, I think you just know, you know, yeah,

Luna Robbie 23:56

what makes you an excellent lover and or what are your best qualities as a lover. I

Lauren West 24:01

love this question, and I I reached out to one of my partners that like to ask. And

Luna Robbie 24:09

everyone ask your partners, what your best quality. I love that I did

Lauren West 24:12

and I got, I mean, they were very sweet and were like, named, I think it was like, You're passionate and energetic and fun and something in the exploratory realm, which I like super do agree with. When I was thinking about myself, and I was like, What do I think that I bring? I do feel like, to say the term I play like a very good power bottom, like, I'm just like, very like, energetic and like, passionate, like, but I'm very subby. But it's not like I into each their own, whatever, but I am just like, the intensity and the passion is like, really there, and I'm just like, all there with them. And, yeah, I think that's one of my What

Luna Robbie 24:53

do you think counts as a power bottom? I wonder if I'm a power bottom. So I literally, I

Lauren West 24:57

googled it as I was, like, thinking that, because it was. My instinctive, like, thought, but I was like, didn't really want to, like, co opt it, because I know it is from, like, particularly the gay male community that I, you know, first coined the term. As far as I'm aware, when I Googled it, it just said, like, energetic, receiving partner. And I was like, Yeah, I identify with that. Damn

Luna Robbie 25:17

I'm also reflecting on some past experiences where I'm like, Yeah, cuz I fucking move like, I work, yeah, my dominant like, I get so excited I love to be like Tasmanian devil. So tell us, how do you invite a partner to have sex with you? Like, what are your signals? What do you do? What are the power bottoms? Guide?

Lauren West 25:39

Also, I'm not gonna say I can't SELF I don't know. I don't want to, like,

Luna Robbie 25:43

No, you're your own expert on sex here. This is a slice in time. And if anyone ever listens to this and tries to, like, pick apart your personal experience like that is not the spirit of sex stories like we're speaking in this particular slice, in this particular moment. I think the way we create a world where, like, taking care of each other is the norm, is by just being like, yes, there's

Lauren West 26:01

space for growth always. Thank you. I know I appreciate that. How do I invite a partner? Well, now again, like, being in this 12 and four year relationship, whereas, like, it's so easy, right? Because it could just be like, yeah, when you know, when you get home, like, let's use the flogger. Like, when you get home, like, I just have my ass in the air and, like, just take me, you know, like, or I'm going to be like, laying naked on the bed with mask on and just like, come in. You know, these are the things I'm like, maybe I should get in a relationship. No, it doesn't have to be a long term relationship. I could still be like, you know, a hookup partner. Do you feel safe with? You know, like, that's really, I mean,

Luna Robbie 26:46

I'm not gonna let anyone come home to me. That's a no, you wouldn't

Lauren West 26:50

leave your door unlocked. That's one of my it's actually, maybe

Luna Robbie 26:54

there's a partner that I would give my lockbox code to, and really would love to get woken up by in the middle of night. That would be fucking caught

Lauren West 27:00

damn middle of the night things I have, like, a hard No, really. I'm like, past trauma, okay? I

Luna Robbie 27:07

just have a lot of desire, and lots of people just tease me about it. Okay,

Lauren West 27:11

okay. Oh no, no, don't. Oh gosh. I hope no one ever teases you about that. Have all the desire, and I know a lot of people do, like, enjoy that kink, just like me. Personally, I'm like, yeah, yeah, no, that's one of my like, boundaries that's gonna have to, like, share with partners that, like, do not wake me up to, like, a thing, yeah? No, no. But the fantasy of just being like, I'm blindfolded or I don't, you know, I don't know who you are, and you're just, like, coming in and, like, just taking it, it's really hot to me. I love

Luna Robbie 27:36

that. So you can literally just, like, send a text or plant the seed,

Lauren West 27:39

yeah, yeah. And, I mean, with like, new people there, you know, that's a lot more, like, vibey,

Luna Robbie 27:44

you know, Okay, what about like, a club or a party? You're like, you just, like, feel into it.

Lauren West 27:49

So at the clubs, I've only, I've done, like, partnered, just like, only were playing together, kind of scenarios. Do you mean, just like, even at a bar, like, just anybody anyway, yeah,

Luna Robbie 28:00

wherever you pick people. Yeah, tell us your wisdom up.

Lauren West 28:04

Really bad with that. Honestly, I was thinking about it again before coming on, and I was like, I feel like I haven't taken many people just like, home that I like, haven't known, you know what I mean, like, I tend to, like, oh, friends. I'm like, intimate

Luna Robbie 28:18

27 before I picked someone up at a party. And I remember driving home, and he was driving home, and he was driving separate. And I was like, oh my god, like, it was right before I left for South America. And I was like, I'm doing it. I'm a grown up, you know, and then I'm going here. And I was like, What am I doing? Oh, my

Lauren West 28:32

God, that's so cute, yes. And I know it's not completely true. I'm like, you know, just vacation, you hook up, like, blah, blah, these things just fall into place, and are beautiful, but I feel

Luna Robbie 28:41

very awkward. Honestly. Like, really, I don't know if I have any moves. Have you been in a situation with a dominant partner where they like point you? That's one of my fantasies. Like at a party, like, that's like, across the room, or just, or just, like, now they bring someone over. Yeah, sick. Now.

Lauren West 28:56

I like that. I not that I can think of in that scenario, which was also be really hot, because it just, like, takes all that off, you know, and like, it's hard obviously, for people to know, like, consent to that, like you hear now that they're gonna know that you are gonna love it, but when you love it, you really love it. I am

Luna Robbie 29:15

reading a book right now, and I might get to interview this author. It's complex, but it basically discusses the idea of consent, where, in terms of, like, giving Affirmative, positive, normative consent, it's kind of a big ask for us to know every single thing about ourselves, and a lot of what we do with partners, especially when we're exploring our own boundaries and our own pleasure, might create experiences of overwhelm that we're actually seeking out on some level. And so it's a matter of, like, kind of she's introducing this term limit consent, and so I'm only part way through the book, but I'm like, these are concepts I'm very interested in, but in a perfect world, if someone was like, you're into my submissive, submissive, yes, go. Would that be fun for you at a sex party, knowing that I'm submissive, if you're the submissive in the situation? Oh, I never done it. Is, like, use my

Lauren West 30:02

toy. Yeah, I think I would be very open to, obviously, it would like, depend on, like, the chemistry and who what if I was, like, attracted but there was one experience, like just talking about that, like, consent situation, like, what? So my partner and I were at a sex club, a swingers club, and we did make it clear to the people around us, like that were, like, coming in or like, fucking next to us and all that jazz. Like they're like, oh, just, you know, you know, like we're playing, just together, so on and so forth. And I did have this, like, one scenario, this man who was like, fucking this beautiful woman next to me, and we were having, like, really great time. Did, like, put my foot in his mouth. Oh, and I know that was a boundary crossing. And not like, cool at all, but it was really hot. Yeah,

Luna Robbie 30:46

that's the point of

Lauren West 30:49

this, you know, like, that's cringe, and no one should ever fucking do that period. But I'm like, I'm telling you, in my experience, I was like,

Luna Robbie 30:56

that was really, yeah, yeah. If he had stopped and asked, What do you think you would have done?

Lauren West 31:01

Think I would have, you know, checked in with my partner? You know, that that's the main, like reason I was, I wasn't opposed to him right on my foot, necessarily, but we had, like, made the ground rules, being that we were not going to do that. And so, like, you know, it looks bad on me if I'm allowing it, and then him for doing it, and then it could hurt my partner's feelings. And thankfully, it didn't. But yeah, there's all these like, complex feelings around then after, like, but I kind of enjoyed that. And

Luna Robbie 31:25

separate thing, though, the liking is separate from okay, but my boundary was crossed because I enjoyed the sensation in the scenario. It's sort it, and that's the duality too. So it's like, I relate to that too, and I I like share more on bottom as I hear other people's experiences, I'm like, Oh, my God, has my personal pleasure in the past created situations where other people have been harmed or traumatized because my boundaries are white, you know? And it's like there's only so much personal responsibility we can eat, you know? We're messy, bumpy humans. Like, that's the bumpy humans. That's what we're doing, you know. And so what we can do is mitigate risk, and then, like, take care of each other in the aftermath, and, like, figure out we're gonna do better, different next time, totally well. So I guess that's a contrast. Then, can you give an example of a time where you had an explicitly clear yes? That led to something really hot. There

Lauren West 32:10

was actually a scenario in Spain where my friends were shooting for kink.com at the time, and they were in, yeah, Spain in sieges, yeah, and it was amazing. And sieges, by the way, is like, such a cool, like, gay bear town. It was just so fun. And there we just, like, had to stay in sleep, like, this sexual imagery. Group was very charged. I mean, they had already, like, finished rapping, and they just had the like, beautiful place for like, a week or so more, and so I got to stay there. Thank you. I remember it kind of just turned into this like, orgy scenario, like, at some point, like, all just very candidly and casually, but like, in terms of that affirmative yes at the time, I had never been penetrated with a strap on before, and this person was, like, so eager and willing to it was like, Do you want to, like, let's Yeah. I'm like, let's go. I'm like, hell yeah. So I guess that was my affirmative yes. But like, that was really, like, fun experience. Of like, yeah, getting the question, the getting the guess, and having a great time.

Luna Robbie 33:19

What was the orgy? Like, I still don't feel like I've been in a proper orgy. I don't even

Lauren West 33:23

know if you could call it that, because it's not like we were all in one room. It wasn't like, organized. It wasn't like, but it was an orgy house. It just Yes, everyone was just like, fucking everywhere, like, just like fingers and butt holes and bathtubs and this and that. And it was just very silly and very fun, but that was a great example. Oh, my God. Like, affirmative yes.

Luna Robbie 33:46

So growing up, did you ever get a useful health and safety conversation from either an adult you trusted or like, What do you remember about sex ed in school? What do you remember about right school? I remember, like, science, horrible,

Lauren West 34:02

I mean, we went to the same high school. I don't remember anything except abstinence only, STI fear mongering, like, you know, splitting of the sexes. I don't even remember. I mean, I guess they did show, like, the miracle of birth or something. I don't even remember them saying, like, oh, penis and vagina, happens and sperm, I mean, they probably did, and maybe it was just like, oh, like, giggly young person or whatever, but that's what I remember, of like education, which I would love to change, and at home never. My parents never talked about sex. I do remember at least one conversation, like in my dad's Jeep, what was like me and my sister, and I remember him distinctly being like, just so you know, like, you know, if you guys, you know, like girls or you're, like, a lesbian, like, that's totally fine. And I remember being like, Oh, that's cool. Or maybe I didn't even know if it was cool. Maybe I was a little embarrassed, because never really thought about like, sexuality at that time in that way. And. I deeply respect my dad for saying that. But yeah, in terms of Yeah, sex education, I met, yeah, never received, damn,

Luna Robbie 35:12

yeah, it's incredible that we're even here like we're all just bumping around on this planet. Okay, we're doing our best, yeah,

Lauren West 35:19

to also just be, like, starting sexual experiences so young, like, you know, probably around the time that we met, like, middle school age, and to, like, have no one give you any like guidance. It's so tragic.

Luna Robbie 35:34

Yeah, you're like, here's all these feelings you won't understand. Go, yeah, be safe, kids. So take us back to your early years. Like, when do you first promote remember hearing about sex? What do you remember thinking about it, feeling about it, and then, like, where did it go? From there? Take us through your highlights.

Lauren West 35:50

So the earliest, like, sexual desire or dream that I remember was actually, and it's so telling, actually, on my later years was there was some one of these, like Batman movies, where I thought it was like Alicia Silverstone, but it might have been somebody else, I can't remember, like, tied to the chair. Oh yeah, maybe it was like the Riddler situation, I don't know. But anyway, some Batman woman was, like, tied to a chair, and I remember having a dream about it after seeing it, where I was like, tied up and like, I was being like, dropped between, like doors, like to other, like beds and things. And I don't think there was actually even, like another person, but I remember it feeling really just arousing. And then after that, you know, electrical toothbrushes came into play, like, all these like things that you shouldn't be putting in your pussy, you know. But, like, it vibrates, it feels

Luna Robbie 36:43

good. So you figured out that it felt good. Yeah, you're a kid, yeah.

Lauren West 36:47

I mean, I think that was a little bit later with the toothbrush. That might have been more like middle school, the kid, the Batman fantasy, I think I was much younger, was like, whenever it came out, I don't remember, like, having a very connected experience with my body for a long time. I feel like sexually until, probably again, mid 20s or something, even though I had plenty of sex in between. Yeah, that's such

Luna Robbie 37:12

a good point. I had sex. I loved touches and sensation, but it was like separate from me or something.

Lauren West 37:19

Yeah, it's weird. I Oh, I also remember I have this actually very beautiful vision in my brain where I was having sex with my first boyfriend, or first serious boyfriend, who you probably remember, I didn't know what the pleasure of like an orgasm felt like, and I was really afraid of it. And I was like, this close to, like, coming and I remember being like, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, because I didn't know what was happening, you know? And, yeah, I look back on that experience now, I remember it being really beautiful, like the sun was coming in, like the little like feathers for my like duvet were like, coming out. And I was like, whoa, what was that, you know? But like, I know I didn't actually climax at that point, but that was my like, earliest experience with like, climax.

Luna Robbie 38:03

Was it just that one time? Like, did you figure it out after that? Or was it like, we

Lauren West 38:09

figured it out by now? Yeah, I can't remember my actual, like, first climax experience after that. That kind of rings true as the one, even though knowing my body now, I think, or maybe I did, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm like, maybe it was, or it was just like that edge where, yeah, it didn't quite get like, pulsing sensations. And then I think it got like, a little bit more, you know, like shamey, the older we got, the like, flood shaming that like, goes into, like everything.

Luna Robbie 38:38

I mean, I got called a whore, and I'd only kissed one person, and I was trying to figure it out. But like, that was, you know,

Lauren West 38:46

actually, I remember being super young. It was probably in elementary school, honestly. And I was like, wearing a bathing suit, like, walking to my neighbor's house or something, and a bus drove by and somebody like, yelled, like, tramp like, out of a school bus when I was, like, in elementary school, it's like, damn, so messed up, messed

Luna Robbie 39:06

up. Wow. Okay, so you were already getting late in high school, we were having opposite experiences, where I was like trying and you were like doing it. What was formative or meaningful in that time for you, like, besides that cool climax moment,

Lauren West 39:24

what was a complicated situation? My first like, long term partner was very toxic, to say the least, and so I grew up, and I've had to, like, try to unlearn this and unpack this with my therapist, because I got this experience of this kind of, like stalker obsessive like mentality, meant love, you know, in so many ways, and they're like, Oh, this is, this is how somebody loves me, like you would do, like anything for me. But really it was just like this super controlling experience to my young self. And so I felt very. Very like possessed and control, and maybe that, you know that subversion of now being like submissive now it's again rewriting that like, it's like, oh no, but now as a sub, like, I still have, I have the power like this is in my control. This is a way to experience a feeling that felt very formative and very like sexual to me, because those were my first experiences. And, I mean, we, you know, dated from seventh grade till my junior year of high school, so damn but, I mean, I'll just say that it was all like negative, you know, we were just young bodies exploring, and that's okay, that's

Luna Robbie 40:36

Yeah. What do you remember about formative experiences, giving, receiving, like, oral hand stuff, like, what, what comes through in your brain?

Lauren West 40:44

Oh, my God, I just can't stop thinking about this. Like, so awkward, like being in probably eighth grade at the time, like having these sleepovers, or, I guess I weren't sleepovers, but like, when guys would, like, come over and, like, watch a movie, it's so gross to me to think about now and like being like hand stuff under the blanket, like getting like fingered. I hate that word. You do watch. I do. How about finger fucked? Okay, finger fucked? Yeah, I can get on board with that. It just like fingering. Just has this gives me this

Luna Robbie 41:20

kind of, like, creepy, spindly feeling. It

Lauren West 41:24

really doesn't but mostly it just, like, brings me back to this time where it was just so awkward and like, it wasn't pleasurable at all. Like, I mean, I didn't know what I was doing, like touching myself. Like I certainly these fumbling into jeans like people also didn't. But that was one, like, young takeaway, I forget, sorry, what the question, yeah, like, like,

Luna Robbie 41:49

what were your experiences with man, stuff, mouth stuff, like, early, just giving and receiving. Like, I think I feel like I had just so much curiosity. I don't know what the fuck was happening. So I felt like I was just waiting to see what was happening

Lauren West 42:01

most of the time. Well, time right again, because I think that there is this expectation of of being submissive honestly, or just like receiving. But also, I don't remember this specifically happening to me, but I think it was just like in the zeitgeist or the vernacular at the time of like guys thinking it's gross to, like, go down on like, girls. Or when, you know, like, I feel like that kind of was, like, in the air. So I think I, I know, actually, I was like, very shy about receiving oral for a long time. I mean, honestly, I could still get that way sometimes, like, I'm like, no, let me like, pleasure you. Or, yeah, there's still something left over

Luna Robbie 42:42

there with new partners, or even, like, with your long term people. It can be with both, just depending on how I'm feeling. When do you feel like you really started to, like, get the hang of sex? If you have it, I feel like you have I feel like you have a hang of it. I feel like, I

Lauren West 42:57

think I know my way around sex these days, thankfully. But when did I feel like I was getting the hang of it? God, it's crazy. Because, like I said, I feel like mid 20s. I was like, Yeah, finally, like, owning it. I was like, talking about it. I was like, asking, asking guys for like, orgasms, which, by the way, I got totally dumped one time for, like, yeah, what? What is happening? I don't know. I have a dating femme person who, like, I we'd been dating for a couple months, and, like, sex was great, but I had never orgasmed. And I asked this person, you know, after we had sex one time, I was like, by the way, you know, like, let's, like, make this happen for me soon or whatever. And he totally, like, freaked out, like, and then, like, put on his pants and like, ran out the door and then dumped me, like, couple days later.

Speaker 1 43:56

Damn, wow.

Lauren West 43:58

Well, that obviously has nothing to do with you, but what a wild experience to be on the receiving end of damn little Yeah, it was very painful. It was very hurtful that would hurt my feelings for orgasm. Since what? Oh, yeah, okay, yes, yes, in that time of my life, I was like, That's ridiculous for this reaction. But you know what? Who knows what else was going well, who knows what else was going on? I don't know

Luna Robbie 44:21

when, when did you get all your sexy friends? Like, was that in college? Was it after college? Like, what's because I feel like that's like, what do you strong influence, right? Like, your sex positive queerdo Friends, like, whoever shooting for kink.com like,

Lauren West 44:34

Oh, totally Yeah, no. My co producer for failed films, Antone was a huge catalyst for that, for involving me in that world and bringing me into that world, and I love and adore him so much. Yeah, I think it did all start to happen around when I moved to San Francisco. So I would have been in my early 20s, and I was working for this spa in, like downtown San Francisco, this. Where I met Anton. And, you know, he just kind of like invited me into that world. I mean, that was actually the first time I met this woman through him who was, like, a pretty well known, like, lesbian in the queer scene in San Francisco at the time. And I finally put a name to my queerness at that point, I was like, Oh, I actually, I have a crush on this person. Like, I like this I would like to date this person. I would like to be around this person a lot. I would like to have sex. You know what I mean? And you know, sadly, that never happened with that person. That's fine. But yeah, it was all around my early 20s in San Francisco. Of course, San

Luna Robbie 45:40

Francisco does that too, so you figured out you were queer. Did that like affect your sense of identity? Did it cause you to seek out any particular sexual experiences, or was it just like, Oh, I'm not sure if this

Lauren West 45:52

will answer your question exactly, but it was interesting to me, because it never really actually felt like something I needed to like, come out about necessarily. I just was like, oh, oh. Like, that makes so much sense. Again, like, yeah, this little make out queen. I'm like, wait, and then, oh, you know what actually ended up or partially what ended up happening was, like, threesomes started to, like, come up a lot. And like, come up just came up. And in those moments, like, I was, like, very uninterested in the man, in those situations, like I just always wanted to pay more attention to the woman. And I think that that, like, you know, then it's how I just, you know, started eating cunts and, like, loving boobs in my face. And just like, it kind of just happened organically in that way. Have

Luna Robbie 46:45

you always had threesomes with like, a penis owner and a pussy owner? Or have you had different configurations? So

Lauren West 46:51

in my early years, it was that I'm trying to think in any other group scenarios, I feel like it tends to work out that way somehow, unless it's like, in a bigger group scenario. Yeah, tell us about the bigger group scenario. Well, like, for that, like, orgy, for Spanish orgy, like Spain or and I'm not even saying that I've had like, a million threesomes, and, like, I've had complicated ones too. Oh yeah.

Luna Robbie 47:22

Like, do you mean like, configuration wise, or like emotions wise, or all emotions

Lauren West 47:27

wise? Oh yeah, emotions wise, which I think is normal. There was not a lot of communication, you know, boundary conversations before and like so that inevitably leads to, like, not a complication, not threesomes with gymnasts. I was like, complicated complications like that. I was like, like, stand, stands or like, I don't like, my brain tries to move. I love that. I love that. That's the connection that you made. I'm trying to think now. I'm like, No, there's been like, Have you ever, like, had sex in one of those, like, aerial swing things? Yes, yeah, love it. It's wonderful. I imagine that getting love

Luna Robbie 48:03

that, but I've only had it where, like, one of the partners was paying attention, like the other one was kind of like steering me, and I was getting fucked by one, and like, then my boobs were getting touched. But I really want to have that where I'd love to have a threesome or more, some with multiple cocks, and I would love to just be like, filled up, but also be just like touched everywhere. You know. Love

Lauren West 48:21

that scenario. I will share fantasy.

Luna Robbie 48:26

Yeah, absolutely. So do you want to highlight, like, best, worst of threesomes or just stand out moments? Or, like, what is hot about a threesome to you? I

Lauren West 48:34

mean, I guess no, you know, actually, I hadn't really ever thought about it, but a pleasuring women or just being in cunts. I love, I love, like, smell of cunts. I just love, I think they're just beautiful and amazing. Not that that has to be again, and often hasn't been in a threesome scenario. But I love that. And I think it also goes back to that whole, like, voyeuristic exhibitionist, like, having more eyes, I think just, like, on and, like, I really think that that's probably, like, one of the main factors there.

Luna Robbie 49:11

When do you feel like you started to discover your kinky self? I mean, obviously Batman. But like, when, when did you, like, really start to be like, Wait, there's a thing here. I was 27 turning 28 like, 27

Lauren West 49:26

Yeah, well, I'll share mine. But what was yours? You know,

Luna Robbie 49:29

mine was literally when I came back from South America, because I was like, I want to try things I wouldn't, you know, and I was just like, I want to get tied up. And that's yeah. And then I just met my former DOM on the internet, like he was like the next person I met on the internet. He was a great growth partner for a while until,

Lauren West 49:49

yeah, yeah, it's fine. So it goes, gosh, yeah, it does feel like something that's been like tail as old as time for me, but I don't think in practice. I think. Like spanking, even like choking, all that was kind of like normalized, like in my sexual history, like, from pretty early age. And I always, like, enjoyed that. Thankfully, nobody do that without consent. I've heard a lot of stories where people are just spitting in people's mouths without, like, talking about it. Some people really like that, but some people don't. So, you know what? People better to get the background.

Luna Robbie 50:25

I think more people don't like unconsensual Spit, just based on what I've talked to, right? I don't know if only have a couple handfuls of data points, but, you know,

Lauren West 50:33

just a couple, yeah, yeah. But oh, you know what it was with ropes was because I started dating a rock climber, and I was, like, really turned on, honestly, yeah, really strong hands. Like, not like this, like super, like jacked body, but like a very, like, just beautiful, like, hairy body. And because he knew all these, like, ties, you know, like, well, we gotta, we gotta play with those. Oh, my God, you know, if we're looking at rope play specifically, like, impact play and all that, I think was just like, around,

Luna Robbie 51:14

okay, yeah, when did it click for you? Like, oh, this is kinky. That's what I was gonna ask you. Like, what do you define kinky? I mean, I called myself kinky because I am, but, yeah, okay, I called myself kinky. Do you remember playing like name games in elementary school when they're like, you know, use the same letter as your name to describe yourself. I literally remember being in fifth grade and being like, kinky. Karen, that's the cutest thing ever. Are you kinky? Just meant you have a crooked and you're strange. Oh,

Lauren West 51:45

oh, my God, that's so cute. I wish that. I hope your parents or your teacher. I guess it'd be weird if your teacher kept it but like, safe haven, you like, wrote it in and it like just existed, because that would be such a beautiful thing to just like have on your wall. No,

Luna Robbie 51:59

it was in a circle. I think it was at Girl Scouts. And I definitely remember getting a strange response from the adult and I was offered a different word, like it was, so when did I actually understand what kinky

Lauren West 52:12

was? I think I was 27 like, I didn't really get it. Like, I knew about being tied up. I really didn't know a whole lot, like, I just didn't know. Did you ever do like, the Tumblr porn thing? I didn't know. Okay, to be fair. I also, like, grew up around porn. That sounds weird, but I did. I mean, you know, my dad would have, like, playboys on the back of the toilet when we'd like, go stay with my dad or whatever. And you know that actually, you know, ended up leading to my I make a lot of collage art with vintage Playboy now, which, you know, I think that, like, just like, sex sexuality there. I mean, there was not, like, there was a bunch of, like, BDSM and Playboy or anything like that. But I remember he had, like, the Playboy channel too, like on TV and being like, Oh my God. Like, watch this. And I think that, like intro, some things then, like internet culture, like young internet culture. Do you remember E bombs world? Did you ever know that that was, like, a young us time period? They had some weird, and I'm not King Jamie, just some like weird, like cartoon, kinky, like things that I would watch, like, really young, and yeah, then like Tumblr, and just just kept evolving, wow. I also, like, collaged in high school with fashion magazines. My mom, like, subscribed me to, like, a ton of fashion magazines. And there was this one that I Oh, I wish I could remember the photographer, and I believe it was. It was either that woman, Gemma, or it was like, Kate Moss, or it was one of those, like, really big models at the time. And there was this, I guess photography spread, where it was almost like this mental institution, where one of the models was, like, super tied, like, tied to the bed. And there was this, like, domy, like nurse kind of over. And it was really high fashion, and I just found that like the hottest thing ever. And I kept that magazine for a really long time. I definitely

Luna Robbie 54:06

have a straight jacket fantasy. I'm hug myself damn Okay, so in that spread for you, I'd love to see that. Yeah, that's, I mean, that's the type of stuff I find very arousing and inspiring to connect from what about Okay, so in your adult life now, like, what do you into the most? Like, what are your turn ons? What are your turn offs? Like, what have you been enjoying most lately? You

Lauren West 54:30

know, it ebbs and flows. I think when I, like, get into like, one certain fantasy scenario and, like, just jerk off to it 1000 times and, you know, maybe it'll, like, switch up a bit. I practice a lot of these again, like, kind of coming into consensual ravishment, sort of like fantasy things, like, in your brain, I have a lot of like fantasies where I'm like, I'm walking through the woods, and then. Like, even, like, a creature of some sort, like, comes up behind me and, like, throws me to the ground and rips off my clothes and this, like, huge cock, just like, enters. I'm like, oh, that it's like, so super hot. That's a big fantasy. I have a big double penetration fantasy right now because I've never experienced that outside of, like, toys. So that's a big one, hot

Luna Robbie 55:23

Wait. Is that something you could do with your partners ever or, like, that's not a, oh, with

Lauren West 55:29

my two specifically together, probably not at this point, but it's not off the table with a partner. I don't know specifically between the two of them. I don't think so I

Luna Robbie 55:39

love Okay, so you would want to have a threesome with two penis owners. I would absolutely maybe a more some to keep it balanced, more

Lauren West 55:45

all the people just bring moresome. Bring it.

Luna Robbie 55:50

I'm like, I'm meeting a few different lady friends right now who like share my double penetration and or two Cox threesome fantasy. I'm like, maybe we should make this into a party. If I find too willing, I'm close. I'm really close. We'll see. We'll see. Yeah, I don't know for sure, as you've been developing or getting to know your submissive identity. Like, what is she like? You know, it sounds like there are pleasing aspects. Sounds like she's active and powerful. Like, what gets you off the most about that role, and it could be physical sensations, scenarios, or just, like, all of it. Yeah,

Lauren West 56:25

I would say that. Like, I said, I have this power bottom, like, thought this, like, really, just like intensity in terms of that, but I also really like this, like, maybe brat, bratty aspect. Like, I want to be told I've been really bad, and I'm gonna be punished really. Like, get, like,

Luna Robbie 56:43

do you do bad things to get told you're bad because I'm trying to figure out bratting I'm too good. And it's

Lauren West 56:49

weird, because I actually feel very similar then in that way, because, like, I don't do a lot of bratty things. Like, I'm not gonna, like, it's more like, a fantasy bratty like, oh, like, I just, like, went out and, like, you know, fuck somebody else, and now I'm gonna get, like, punished, or whatever. Like, Oh, I love that. Okay. I'm like, and then this brain of like, punishment scenarios, I like to be told I'm bad, I'm good.

Luna Robbie 57:11

I love that. I'm learning how to tease one of my play friends right now with, like, being naughty. But I also, like, it's so hard for me to even think about sending a text message that says oops, which would imply that I didn't ask permission, and I just came and had a fantasy. And I haven't done that yet, but like, that has been set up and invited for me. And I, like, like, three or four times I've, like, gone to write it.

Lauren West 57:35

What about it? You think, like, it feels

Luna Robbie 57:37

mean to me, because I'm like, well, he didn't do anything wrong, like, and it's literally just so he can make me more and harder, yeah. And I think he needs it to get as many bruises as I actually want, or, like, as many hair brush, you know, and, and so I just got a big punishment because I did, I did my accident. I'm better at being like, Well, I was trying to be good, but I don't know if this counts. Like, I've been bad on a technicality, like, three times, and I really had to deliver in this like, well, I don't know. And he's like, Oh, you don't know, you know. And so got it out, right? And I don't know, because I grew up with military parents. I don't know if it's the farm thing. I don't know if it's just the good girl thing, but, like, I want to play in this way, and it just feels mean to be naughty. Mean

Lauren West 58:20

to be naughty? Well, I guess you just have to, like, think about it in that it's mutual pleasure and consensual. It's not mean. It's like the outcome is what you both want, right here. But do you do on purpose, naughty things like or what do you guys have rules? I feel like in the way that correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like you're setting up like, the fantasy, the play situation. What do you call that? Like? It's like, the scene, sorry,

Luna Robbie 58:47

the scene, the scene, parameters, whatever container we're playing in. Maybe that's

Lauren West 58:51

not exactly what you're saying, but maybe that's just how I'm interpreting it. Our play scenarios change so much, really, um, yes, a lot. Like, like, I don't want to feed into this, like, this, like, step brother situation, that's like, so on porn, like, so like, it runs the gambit. Like, do I feel bad about being naughty? Now, wait, brother, I mean it's not. It's like, Well, okay, we've had fantasies, I'm speaking specifically go with one of my partners, where we were like, sleeping in like, big T shirts, and we like, ended up having sex in the more and sleeping like on these like couches that were like, pushed together, and we were like, having this like fantasy where, like, Oh, our like parents or like, somebody is like, in the other room, and we have to be, like, be really Quiet, and it's like this, it's like a sleepover, like, turned like sexual and like things like that. Wasn't specifically step, but it had that air of just this kind of, like, innocent, like, have to be quiet, or don't wake up the parents, like, yeah,

Luna Robbie 59:58

kind of thing, totally. I mean, I. I feel that way, like I grew up with, you know, friends that weren't related, but it was that kind of like, kids versus grown ups gotta be sneaky sort of feeling. And it's like, I mean, that's

Lauren West 1:00:09

erotic. I don't know it is erotic, yeah? Again, it's like, it's the forbidden thing. It's why we, we, I, and many others, like playing outside. Or like, you know, I love being at right? Do you like outdoor sex? Yeah, definitely.

Luna Robbie 1:00:22

Where have you done it? Parks,

Lauren West 1:00:24

camp, wherever. Like hiking scenarios, gosh, on my old college campus, like, in bathrooms, although I do have a bit of a like, guilty comp, like, I don't want to inconvenience anybody. So in bathrooms, I have a little bit of a hard time, because I'm like, what if somebody needs to come in and, like, oh, like, a single person use bathroom? Yeah, we're, like, holding it up, or we're gonna make the manager mad, you know? But like, in terms of being out in the great outdoors, super hot, I don't think I ever realized

Luna Robbie 1:00:55

how much we share good girl proclivities. Like, I always thought of you as like, a wild bat, like, doesn't give it, like, it's fine, no, you know, interesting. It's

Lauren West 1:01:07

yeah, no, ask any of my, like, close friends. They're like, I am the goody two shoes of the group. Wilder.

Luna Robbie 1:01:14

Wait, so do you like being called a good girl, but you like being punished? Is it both? No,

Lauren West 1:01:19

you know, I think I like being called like, you've been bad because, like, I'm always feel like I have to be so good. You know, that's like, how that manifests? How

Luna Robbie 1:01:28

do you respond? Like, what's your submissive self? Like, when she's getting like, punishments or whatever, like, I get really giggly and crazy. I'm like, and I'm like, crazy. So someone really has to actually overpower me, because it gets because it gets so squiggly, or I have to get

Lauren West 1:01:44

tied down. I think I get just very, like, approving. I'm like, just like, a Yes, daddy, thank you, daddy. Like, sort of attitude, which proves to be very well received. Are you submissive with both your partners more so one than the other, just in terms of, like our just like sex lives and their interests. I don't think

Luna Robbie 1:02:07

what implements Do you enjoy being used on you? So we've heard that you got you like a little rope, you like some impact play like, what? Yes,

Lauren West 1:02:14

yes, yes, yes. I have a vlogger that I love. I have a paddle that I just recently got, and Jesus fucking Christ, it fucking hurts, so I don't play with that one as often. I have a beautiful glass butt plug that I love. My Hitachi, obviously, like that's just all the time. Rope, certainly handcuffs, I guess. But those are very painful. I'd rather use ropes than handcuffs. You

Luna Robbie 1:02:41

mean, like, metal handcuffs, or, like, the leather cups. Oh, damn, those are intense. Yeah, they're

Lauren West 1:02:45

too intense. I'm like, real torture. Totally have used nipple clamps, but they're not in like, the super repertoire. I think those are my like, staples, yeah.

Luna Robbie 1:02:56

So how and when did failed films come into your life and like, has it affected your kinky self or, like, is there crossfire between, like, failed films in your personal life? Like, what is it like and what's it been like? And tell us more about what it is for those of us who don't know,

Lauren West 1:03:10

Oh, for sure. Okay, yeah, failed films is, like, a very inclusive queer art erotic like film and Arts Festival. It started in 2016 by two of my good friends and sex workers at the time who were just feeling like they were utter fucking failures. And this is like their words, so don't give me, you know, not their words, not mine. And they really just wanted to create a space for people like them, people that, like, didn't get highlighted. I mean, they were working in the porn industry. And, like, a lot of the like, art that you know, these workers and just community members, like, wanted to share was just, like, not allowed, you know, like, gosh, we talk about censorship, like, everywhere, you know, these, like, white walled galleries were not like, you know, going to share some of these really smutty, artful, tasteful and sometimes not just like personal pieces. And so they created this really magical space I went to the first one. And so, yeah, this is how it kind of came into my life. So Antone again, who's my co producer, had a film in the first one. And we were, like, really good friends at the time, even closer now, you know, but it just like, lit this, like light bulb in my head when he was like, Oh, it's this, like, kind of porn, like erotic event, and I, one of my films is gonna be in it. And I was like, uh, holy shit. Like, I need to go to there. Like, again, like I was like, I'm not, I'm not gonna miss that. Like it's drawing in my alternative side, I guess. And I went that first year, and I was like, this is the most incredible thing I've ever seen. They had, and we still kind of do similar setups, but you. Know, they had this, like main event screen, and it was, like, this very DIY space in Oakland where you could, like, crawl up these ladders to all these, like old televisions and put on, like headphones and watch people Antone again, specifically, like jerking off with egg yolk. And, like, it was, yeah, it was just a magical experience. And it ended up being that they did two years in Oakland, and I think they just needed some extra support. You know, the founders just were ready to, like, hand it over, or, like, take a little bit of a step back, but they did stay involved. And Antone expressed, like, a interest in being, like, I would love to bring it to LA, and he asked me to, you know, co produce, and we've been doing it ever since. So, yeah, so it's like an experiential offering too. It's not just films like the one in 2019 that I was at had, like, beautiful sets, like the rooms are decorated beautifully, and it's like a kind of curated experience for people, it totally is, I'd say, like a film festival or like even an art festival, like it doesn't quite do it justice. It's like, certainly its own unique experience. Yes, we do make it very interactive. We basically take all the films that are submitted and, you know, select or deny, as you know we do, and kind of section it off into these, like different installations. I mean, we do have a main feature screen where we typically break it out into, like 30 minute segments of shorts that we want to feature on the large screen, but we segment the other films, like off into kind of these, like sexy categories, obviously, right? So we had like blood play room, for instance, in this kind of Dungeon setting, we had like a sploshing room, like last time where, you know, where all those like films went. We actually, we get a lot of very like culty, like witchy sexy films that was like an installation one year. We also tend to love having, like a very, like a safe, like play space, like area to just like, cuddle, decompress, do what you're gonna do. We've had glory hole installations, and we also have, you know, performance art drag shows. I think we are actually going to have like a performance art, like poetry dance situation this year, which I'm excited about. So really, there's, like, it was a lot to experience, is it DJ bar, like, all the kind of, like typical event places. But I think one of the most, like beautiful parts about it is just like the community that it brings, that comes together. Like, I think sometimes in sexually charged places, you you have to be very careful in some ways, like with what to expect and people's etiquette and whatnot. And like, I would never even compare the community to those types of people that bring those like negative, like, the community that has been involved in fail to films is always phenomenal, like, and I am just so absolutely honored, and my mind is blown every year that I get to do it. I'm like, Ah, I get to, like, show porn in Los Angeles and like, just like, support all these like fun, like, kinky, pervy, lovely, beautiful humans, and it's just, it's so magical, yeah,

Luna Robbie 1:08:29

okay, if listeners want to, like, participate by either attending or like submitting a film, what do they do, please?

Lauren West 1:08:34

Yeah, and it's actually not even limited to film, like I just said, like, we're open to performance art installations, but, yeah, the main thing, if you have films, we request. It's not totally required that they're, like, under 10 minutes. And you can go to failed films, dot info to go to our website. There is a Submit link there where you can submit your films. It's a very simple, easy form with, just like, some consent questions, and, you know, age verification and all that. And if you also just like, want to support and you can't make it, or if you can make it, we have our indie India Go Go site already set up as well, so you can simply just donate money to support us there. That would be amazing. Or we also are offering, like, discounted tickets right now, if you, like, buy them pre sale, there's like a T shirt ticket combo that you can purchase. And there's also like a bigger sponsorship where we'll actually, like put you on the big screen for like, a certain amount of money as well. So yeah, that's all at failed films. Dot info, and that's where you can sign up for the newsletter too, right? Yes, exactly. Thank you for mentioning that. Yeah. Yeah. So if you just want to, like, attend or get info, or kind of keep tabs on everything, failed films, dot info, yeah. So fun. Have you watched anything there or, like, experienced anything there that has inspired your own personal sex life? Ooh, my own personal sex life. It's certainly seen in films there that have inspired my art. Ch. Trying to think anything specific films. God, there's so many amazing ones. They're just like, flashing through my brain right now. So there is this one artist that's inspired my films, but there was one where their partner put, like a dildo on a motorcycle, and they were like, riding the motorcycle off, and then the person, like, got on, if I remember correctly, the like, Delta motorcycle. I was like, that's really, really fucking hot. That's pretty hot. Yeah, it was, like, in the desert,

Luna Robbie 1:10:30

riding and riding, damn, Yeah, ooh, that's one, one

Lauren West 1:10:35

I can think of, at least, mostly, like, they're just so inspiring in so many ways. Like, just like the self expression of sexuality, just like, really, like, means so much to me.

Luna Robbie 1:10:45

What sex wise have you not yet explored that you want to explore while

Lauren West 1:10:50

we share in this fantasy I have found like we've not only do we share in the good girl proclivities or whatever, but like I, but I was reading like your bio, or example, bio on your email. I was like, we're so similar, and like so many ways. How did we get here? Was this, like, like, upbringing home?

Luna Robbie 1:11:11

Just because, yeah, but no, I just think we're soul friends based on the amount of times that our lives just continue to cross. Like, I think we're soul friends or something I don't know. Yeah,

Lauren West 1:11:30

wait, sorry, what was the question now I'm like, what else do you want to explore? I want to explore? Oh, it was so my the first thing that came to mind was, like, this gang bang. Me more scenarios for sure,

Luna Robbie 1:11:40

what would your perfect gangbang be like? Like, do you want one of your partners overseeing it? Do you want it to just be tons of strangers? Would you like a woman to oversee you? Like, what feels safe or juicy? Those are

Lauren West 1:11:50

all good options. Great options. Yeah, great. Great options. Yeah, I should think about that more, because, yeah, in all, in my brain, it just, it's, it's all of the above. It happens, you know,

Luna Robbie 1:12:00

I'll tell you my fantasy. Maybe you'll want to be one of these people. Like, I sort of have, okay, because I have a lot of fantasies about daisy chains, even though I don't have, like, a cock. I'm like, I could wear a strap on and be part of a daisy chain or something. But then I'm like, what if I take the daisy chain concept, like, the kind of like, you know, we're all fucking each other, but like, yeah, okay, maybe this won't make sense when I say it out loud with words, but to me, it's like a parallel concept of, like, I know a few different, like, whole owners who want to have a gang bang, and I'm like, I'm gonna go to the trouble of, like, arranging this, and I have cock owners who are gonna be participating. How hot would it be if we got like, a circle of each and, like, we're just moving around, you know? And people can have strap on this thing. People can have strap on this if they want, whatever, maybe, then we switch and we fuck them, I don't know, you know, like so many, and then I'm imagining, like in the center, like the overseers that are making sure the condoms stay on, that are making, you know, the only way that I could ever have a gang bang. And I, you know, I might have a play friend who is, like, this level of like, desire for control and dominance and holding space is like having that person who's like, Okay, do that? You know, like a ringleader?

Lauren West 1:13:07

Interesting. No, no. I never really thought about that. But it does sound actually, it reminds me of another failed film that was amazing, where there was this like chain of women and non binary people in a circle. And then there was this, like, Dom making them, like, drink smoothies, like, or like, these shakes of some sort. They were like, Okay, ready, bitches and like, just like, put your fucking vibe to your claim. Like, come, come. It was like, this, really amazing. I love

Luna Robbie 1:13:38

that film. I also have never masturbated in a group of people. And I would be like, down to try that, or to do like, you know, screenings where that's a thing, or get away, you know, if future retreats that we host, I don't know. I

Lauren West 1:13:49

remember it being very erotic, like when I saw my first film that I made for failed films, the Empress that you were in. But like, one of the scenes, the last scene, actually, is like, I am remaking the Empress card, but making them, like, kind of staff, like my Hitachi, just, like, was like, masturbating with it, and it was my friends who were shooting it at the time. And I actually, I guess maybe I had some shame, or whatever I was, like, so turned on by like, I'm like, I'm going to come right now, and that feels like I shouldn't actually come right now, like, because of, like, this is a professional setting with the thing. It's very complicated. Oh my gosh, I have masturbated. And

Luna Robbie 1:14:24

I don't know, I think that just means that you're like, ready to go when it comes to erotic film.

Lauren West 1:14:30

You could say that, yeah, you could say that. Did I ever tell you

Luna Robbie 1:14:33

about the time that there was, like, a documentary crew in here and I built a fort and masturbated in it, and that's like, on TV somewhere, like, wow, I know that was, like, during the pandemic, they were like, it was some Docu series. You have done it, then I've done that. But I don't think they show anything, because it's like TV. It was a was it just noise that they were trying to record or what? No, there was cameras in here. But like, I don't think they were focused on my like, I put in a butt plug. But they can only show so much on TV, so they. Kind of shot around the idea to never gone to watch it. It's some series called sex life on, I think it was like on epics or something, so you can get it on Amazon or something. But I never went and watched my episode because I was like to cringe about all of it. So it's hard. We'll see. If I even listen to this,

Lauren West 1:15:17

I get so embarrassed. So we'll see. I know the feeling. Do you think

Luna Robbie 1:15:22

you'd ever do more like erotic stuff or, like, What's your relationship? I mean, it sounds like getting film turns you on?

Lauren West 1:15:28

Yeah, it does. I have many fantasies of like film. There's one pornographer that I actually really adore and like, I'm really inspired by. They go by Vex tape, I believe, and the type of films that she is making, I want to be making myself. And like I pull some inspiration from her films into my own films, I think I'm a little shy. And also finding willing participants who want to be on film is, thank you.

Luna Robbie 1:16:05

I'm going into an era of what'll probably be like, educational bucket list porn, like crossing stuff off, you know, I want to document it. That's the next step for me, and especially since the internet and the world is like, looks like you're a whore. I'm like, Well, I will go all the way, then so frustrating. Just like, I mean,

Lauren West 1:16:24

yeah, hell yeah, but yeah I want to there's like, something along that, like, yeah, finding like, participants and like, you know, navigating like, my partner's comfortabilities too. Like, if it was more up to me, I think I might be quite a bit more slutty than my currently am, and then I, you know, have my own there's many things, but I foresee my art and nudity and in this space evolving and sticking around. Yeah, what

Luna Robbie 1:16:54

would you say are your hopes for your sexual future going forward, I

Lauren West 1:16:59

hope to smash the shame, smash the stigma. I'd, you know, love some more feminine energy in my sex life. That's one piece that I feel like is missing an evolution. I mean, I just want to like commune. I just want a whole beautiful commune of people, like having babies and taking care of each other and having sex and just building houses and making art. And, yeah, that's the dream.

Luna Robbie 1:17:31

I fucking love that. And if you could go back in time and give younger you a piece of sex advice, what age or ages would you pick? And what would you say?

Lauren West 1:17:38

Yeah, I think I want to tell my, you know, maybe 12 year old self, that they have an active role in their sexuality, and don't let anybody tell them otherwise. Yeah, to bring it full circle, what do you remember about our threesome? Because I feel like I may be blacked out. I'm sure I have details in my journal, but I also just remember it being so hot, but it was super hot. What do you remember about it? Well, first of all, it was, like, super hot. And also the most like, well, I guess, I don't know, manicured is the right word, but like, you guys had your like, STI panels, like, on the table, we, like, talked about consent. And, you know, I had already, I can't remember if you intro to us, like, text wise or something before to just like, maybe do this. But you were also like, Oh, if you want to, like, do the hot tub first, which I care about food we did before or after. I think we did after, if I ended up doing it after. And it just felt so like, safe and inviting, and I didn't feel like I needed to, yeah, do anything I didn't want to. I was like, just gonna be very turned on by you, always. And so I just remember you and your play partner at the time, you know, were doing like, penetrative sex. I was like, hands on oral and touching participant on your end, I really didn't interact much with, as I already admittedly said, yeah, and then you were, like, tied up, or, like, chained, I believe, around your neck, and like, drug out, you know, quote, unquote, to, like, the couch. And he made me be the one who could tell you when you could come, that's right. And so was super hot. But again, being kind of the people pleaser, I was like, Oh, I don't feel like I should, like, let her come so soon. Like, really challenge myself to just like, you know, take it a little bit further. That

Luna Robbie 1:19:35

is such a gift for me. When someone tells me no, like, I need to train my current partner to, like, all the time when I ask and I get it, I love getting permission, but I'm like, I need some nos. I guess I got a no one at the same Yeah, yeah. So that's, yeah,

Lauren West 1:19:48

it was super hot, yeah. And then we just all, like, decompress together in the hot tub. And it was just beautiful night. I remember being very much on like, cloud nine, like, yeah, yes. I just, you know, checked off one of these. Like, I'm. Amazing little sexual experiences that I really loved. Lauren,

Luna Robbie 1:20:03

thank you so much for being a guest on sex stories. Thank

Lauren West 1:20:07

you so much for having me. I've been loving it. Thank you for doing this in the first place. I

Luna Robbie 1:20:12

love it. I'm so glad to have you.