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Previously the owner of a BDSM toy store, a fetish model, professional Dominatix and pole dancer, and founder of Pineapple Support: a non-profit organization providing mental health and emotional support to adult industry professionals across the globe.

🔗 LEYA LINKS |  @leyatanit / @pineappleYSW / PineappleSupport.org

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00:00:00:01 - 00:00:20:05

Luna

The focus today is professional and our guest is the CEO and founder of Pineapple Support. Pineapple Support, the nonprofit organization providing mental health and emotional support to adult industry professionals across the globe connected to the adult industry for over 20 years. Previously the owner of a Bdsm toy store, a fetish model, professional dominatrix, and many moons ago a pole dancer.

00:00:20:11 - 00:00:22:07

Luna

Welcome, Leah.

00:00:22:09 - 00:00:34:17

Leya

Hello. How are you? I'm just going to throw it out there. First and foremost, if anyone who's watching sees me waving my arms in the air, there are mosquitoes in the office. I have.

00:00:34:19 - 00:00:45:16

Luna

Oh, man. I hope you don't get bitten too much. Let's start off by telling us about your work. So how are you making the world a sexier, more loving place? And tell us, what is your professional origin story? We got a little snippet, but give us the details.

00:00:45:16 - 00:01:14:08

Leya

Pretty please. So we are making the world sexier by making people mental health better because sane is sexy. We provide persons working in the online adult industry with professional mental health care and also 24/7 emotional support, which is run by trained champions. Anyone can sign up to do that. We have a lot of different resources I'm sure will no doubt dive into those later, but I've no backstory.

00:01:14:10 - 00:01:41:11

Leya

I've been obsessed by sex forever and I mean even even as a young child, just I don't know. I don't know why. I don't know why from just always this fixation on on sex. So I somehow stumbled upon my first Bdsm party when I was 15 or 16. They really looked after me. I didn't see any of the kinky stuff that was going on for me.

00:01:41:11 - 00:02:10:11

Leya

It was just a fancy dress party almost, you know, but with really caring, wonderful people. And that's kind of where the story started. And from there, you know, as soon as I was 18, almost, I started, dancing in the first strip club when I opened and, and my hometown, continued dancing for a couple of years, and I think I probably would have done it for longer, but it was a combination of I thought I got into a serious relationship but didn't think it was appropriate.

00:02:10:17 - 00:02:31:18

Leya

As it turned out, the guy was only dating because it's so fast. Okay, that was a bit of a kick in the teeth and also the competition in competition or something like this. On the stripper competition? Yeah, okay. I mean, it was a long time ago. But back then, there wasn't so much camaraderie that I see now, particularly working.

00:02:31:18 - 00:03:02:16

Leya

Like, as I've journey through the adult industry from stripping through to doing such modeling and then making bondage videos during dominatrix work and now being, you know, heavily involved in all aspects and with all folks in front of behind the camera, behind the tech, everything. And it's such a loving, friendly, wonderful place. And I wonder whether that was because of time's gone by or or just.

00:03:02:16 - 00:03:05:01

Leya

That is interesting.

00:03:05:03 - 00:03:15:10

Luna

Wow. Yeah. I've heard different things from different strippers in different places. Okay, so that was kind of your first foray into the adult industry?

00:03:15:12 - 00:03:46:05

Leya

Yeah. Yeah. And this is everything was just really organic. And I stopped dancing and then went to work in fashion. When the recession hit, I left my position and, the fashion company and decided to open a store. Because if people aren't going out investing in, what fun. And that started going really well. But as anyone who has started their own business will know, there's not a lot of money in your pockets.

00:03:46:05 - 00:04:14:08

Leya

So tell me, okay, how am I going to subsidize this? And we're going to all the fetish parties and meeting all these amazing, kinky people. Oh. Okay. Professional dominatrix. This is a thing. And this is how much they earn. And this is something that I would really love. So started doing that, sort of modeling more every time I was going to the shows were asking me to model, and it just, it just really everything flowed.

00:04:14:08 - 00:04:43:05

Leya

And the people that I met were just really supportive during the whole journey as well. You know, what camera to buy, what lighting to buy, how to set this up, how to approach people, how to do a contract. That's what a beautiful, beautiful industry and a wonderful people that basically led us up until until pineapple one at the end of 2017, beginning of 2018, we had a string of suicides in the industry.

00:04:43:06 - 00:05:07:16

Leya

Upon researching, I discovered that there was not a huge amount of support out there for performance, but there were a few nonprofit organizations that were providing small amounts of care on the side. But I think with something like mental health, it has to be an all encompassing. It's such a huge area and costly, you know, it's not it's not cheap to provide therapy for someone.

00:05:07:18 - 00:05:12:01

Luna

How did you gather the resources? What was the initial what did it look like at the beginning?

00:05:12:03 - 00:05:21:20

Leya

At the beginning, it was lots of pieces of paper sitting around a desk, which actually doesn't look too dissimilar to what just looks now.

00:05:21:22 - 00:05:23:07

Luna

Relatable.

00:05:23:09 - 00:05:39:09

Leya

Yeah, for sure. Loads of ideas. And came up with the concept. Approached a few people who all went, this is amazing, but we're not going to give you any money because we don't know you. You're not a registered 501 C3, which takes a lot of time, and we don't know if it's going to work. So I was okay.

00:05:39:11 - 00:05:58:09

Leya

And I will pay for this and I will do this, and I will show you that it will work. So that was the first kind of eight months where, I covered everything. I covered the cost of legal therapy. We did all the five of one C3 paperwork where they me, it was myself. And. Yeah, Lady Caroline was amazing.

00:05:58:09 - 00:06:28:05

Leya

Admin. This brand is not to admin. And she submitted all the paperwork for sign up for support. So we became A51 C3. And then December we got our first sponsors and that was put up. Oh cool. And since then it's just I mean it has skyrocketed. It's crazy. The amount it grew. I think we started at just the right point now because with with everything that happened with Covid, if we had been a little bit younger, we wouldn't have had the money to support the influx of need.

00:06:28:06 - 00:06:35:16

Leya

So yeah, it all fortunately happened that, and we're in the a strong position for the onslaught.

00:06:35:18 - 00:06:47:04

Luna

Yeah. Can you tell us a little bit about the specifics of how therapy or support groups for sex workers may be different from regular people?

00:06:47:06 - 00:07:18:22

Leya

I'm more interested in the conversation for sure now. There isn't a huge difference. The main difference there is that it's a stigma free, judgment free zone, because that's the problem that people are facing again and again and again is that that stigmatized by society, let's say, by their families, by old friends, and then they go to see a therapist who then confirm everything that these people have been saying.

00:07:18:22 - 00:07:36:16

Leya

I mean, that's just that's a spiral that starts getting out of control. So our therapists are all industry friendly. Most of them are in the community or clamorous community and and are obviously all very sex positive.

00:07:36:18 - 00:07:55:12

Luna

How are you finding these therapists like, I mean, I'm sure you put out different job postings or things, but like, what is it that you're looking for to make sure that you have someone that has kind of the experience because the sexy I've gotten in my work, the more that my therapist is just like, okay, you know it, it's a unique skill.

00:07:55:14 - 00:08:16:20

Leya

To begin with, we went hunting. So just actually to begin with the first few therapists with my friends. So I had a few friends who, who are licensed therapists, and they know me and my past and are obviously very cool with it all. So it's like, hey, guys, help me out from the dead. And they're also still working with us.

00:08:16:20 - 00:08:42:09

Leya

Then we went hunting and I was looking online for sex positive kink, where Bdsm therapists and then just reaching out to them than them know what we were doing and seeing if they're interested. And again, the response was fantastic. Now we do nothing. They come in crowds. I think I interviewed three new therapists just today. It's amazing.

00:08:42:10 - 00:09:16:20

Leya

And I love the diversity that we have. You know, it's it's very difficult the beginning of we have for to 20 therapists and you know, so we may have had one LGBTQ therapist you may have one Bipoc therapists. And it's like, we need to get more. And now we have 380 therapists and just almost oh, you know, almost every community has its coverage and just beautiful people specializing in order for an area using different therapy techniques in different languages.

00:09:16:22 - 00:09:19:18

Leya

It's amazing. So amazing.

00:09:19:19 - 00:09:37:08

Luna

That was my next question. What are some of the different techniques you use and how how do people decide which technique is right for them as a sex worker? Or is it just sort of like who's available and, you know, kind of like with regular therapy, I realized a lot of people don't know what type of therapy they're in because I ask people, I'm like, oh, what are you doing?

00:09:37:10 - 00:09:39:18

Luna

So does that how does that come up? How do you handle that?

00:09:39:20 - 00:09:58:09

Leya

But what we do when someone applies for therapy with this is we ask them where which areas they need support. And there's a list of about 30 different possibilities. And it's the exact same list that every therapist has when they're applying to work with pineapple and which areas they specialize. So when someone applies for therapy, what that's like all the boxes they've checked.

00:09:58:09 - 00:10:17:13

Leya

And then find a therapist with as many of the same boxes ticked as we possibly can, and then without additional box, you how people are saying, you know, this is really what a female therapist or I specifically want a trans therapist or what a therapist specializes in X, Y, and Z. And we do our very best to, to match.

00:10:17:13 - 00:10:43:18

Leya

Obviously, it can't always be possible because of the beautiful laws in the U.S that means that people can't provide, therapy to someone in a different state to you. So, you know, it's great that we have 370 therapists, friends and therapists now. But you know, if if you're looking at someone like, Montana, oh, we've got a therapist there.

00:10:43:20 - 00:10:54:22

Leya

Yeah, we have one. So if you, you know, yes we do, we have one. But if you're looking for something that they specialize in then then it becomes difficult. But it's

00:10:55:00 - 00:11:02:22

Luna

We manage is it primarily one on one? I think I remember seeing various groups also including groups for partners of sex workers. Is that right?

00:11:03:00 - 00:11:25:14

Leya

Yeah. So we do five regular drop in support groups that anyone can join. And then every month we also start a six week closed support group. So every month will be a different topic. And that's a six week support group that you you're in every every week with the commitment or the jump in support groups. There is any commitment there.

00:11:25:14 - 00:11:31:22

Leya

And we did we did one in January. And it's something that I'd like to do again. First, partners are sex workers.

00:11:32:00 - 00:11:36:03

Luna

How did you get the name Pineapple Support.

00:11:36:05 - 00:11:40:11

Leya

The most commonly used safe word in the US is that.

00:11:40:13 - 00:11:44:11

Luna

I thought people just said it as a joke. Do they really use it?

00:11:44:13 - 00:11:46:19

Leya

Red stop. Pineapple.

00:11:46:21 - 00:11:51:22

Luna

Sam I always thought that when people said pineapple, they were just kidding. Like, I thought that was like a number one joke.

00:11:52:00 - 00:12:08:16

Leya

I think it was, I think it was on a movie or on a up show. And then since then it's just been adopted. But, yeah, I was given, like, what kind of safe word is stop. That's the worst they've ever read it. Yeah. Okay. That's, you know, that's fine stuff.

00:12:08:16 - 00:12:10:12

Luna

Potentially unsafe. Safe word.

00:12:10:14 - 00:12:29:08

Leya

Yeah. Yes. Good stuff. Something that I think exactly. That is pineapple. So and I was just now staring mindlessly at my friend's apartment trying to think of a name. And she had a go pineapple. And that's what, one. Oh yes they would. Yes. Oh, what a brilliant.

00:12:29:10 - 00:12:37:00

Luna

What is your definition of a sex worker? And in the work you're doing now, not your previous work. Do you identify as a sex worker?

00:12:37:01 - 00:13:04:10

Leya

The work I'm doing now? No. My way of identifying a sex worker is if you are doing something that is prompting someone to receive sexual pleasure without wiggling your toes at a camera, that that jerking off chair or whatever else dominatrix work, beating the shit out of someone if they're doing it and you know that they're receiving pleasure from it, then you're a sex worker.

00:13:04:12 - 00:13:07:07

Leya

That would be my personal thoughts on it.

00:13:07:09 - 00:13:15:13

Luna

So in a direct way, because you are really providing that for probably, I would imagine thousands of people in providing support for sex workers.

00:13:15:15 - 00:13:23:01

Leya

Yeah. The people are masturbating to me. I mean, maybe they are. Maybe who knows.

00:13:23:03 - 00:13:28:13

Luna

Maybe someone has a kink for like helping helping professionals.

00:13:28:15 - 00:13:39:00

Leya

Someone. Anyone? Anyone. How are you out there masturbating? I'm. You know, no use that I need to know about. It's. Yeah.

00:13:39:02 - 00:13:49:20

Luna

Can you give us a little overview of, like. What? A sort of day in the week life month? Like, whatever time frame feels appropriate or accurate for you. Like, what's your day to day stuff like work wise.

00:13:49:22 - 00:14:12:11

Leya

It can be anything. Honestly, I'm in January. There's Vegas and L.A. so events and experts think about showers, which means that all the build up to that is trying to run the day to day for financial support, as well as preparing for the shows. We've got Miami coming up next month. I've been doing this for five years. I've never had a holiday.

00:14:12:12 - 00:14:48:13

Leya

My job now is more of the fundraising, events, coordination, overview of the organization. But we are a very, very small team, so I'm incredibly involved in every aspect. So a day in the life wake up. 730, do my emails train, come back, do more emails, trying to work through the task list and the meetings tend to start at about three in the afternoon, and we'll go one and two up at 8 p.m..

00:14:48:15 - 00:14:49:20

Leya

Wow.

00:14:49:22 - 00:14:51:19

Luna

That's a full day.

00:14:51:21 - 00:14:58:23

Leya

Working on multiple timezones, but I take Fridays off. I'm doing this four day workweek thing and it's good.

00:14:59:00 - 00:14:59:19

Luna

Fuck yeah.

00:14:59:21 - 00:15:01:01

Leya

Thank you.

00:15:01:03 - 00:15:15:12

Luna

Who are the people that you're, like interfacing with day to day? It sounds like there's maybe sponsors. It sounds like there's people on your team. But when you're talking to people that are maybe outside of the industry or inside, I guess, what sort of reactions do you get when they learn what you do.

00:15:15:14 - 00:15:41:16

Leya

Day to day? I'm usually talking to people who I'm asking for money, so, they want to know statistics, how it's going to benefit them, what they can do to promote it to the content creators using their platforms. And then I try and persuade them to give us more money than they've just agreed to, you know? So yeah, sales outside of that, I don't often meet new people.

00:15:41:18 - 00:15:51:03

Luna

Okay. Well, what about at like X or something? Like, I came across your booth there, like, I was already aware of you guys, but what are the interactions with performers or models or workers like.

00:15:51:05 - 00:16:18:13

Leya

I most folks know about us now. We used to come up against a lot of people being very nervous to give us the details and that personal information, their name, their copies of their ID, things like that. The systems that we use are for the medical industry. It's, you know, you can't get much more secure. But that was a big barrier to begin with.

00:16:18:17 - 00:16:40:17

Leya

Fortunately, now we know we've given care to over 10,000 people so that seems to have passed. You know, obviously there's still the other person who's who's has those concerns and that even their rights have the concerns. That was, originally the biggest hurdle to overcome past. And also ensuring that we had the right therapist for the right person.

00:16:40:19 - 00:16:51:21

Leya

Now it is making sure that we can continue to provide the level of care that we have been with the huge amount of people now applying for therapy.

00:16:51:23 - 00:17:01:08

Luna

Yeah. So on that note, if you were able to get all the money, all the funding, everything you needed, all those needs met, where would you like to see this work lead?

00:17:01:10 - 00:17:28:10

Leya

I'd like to expand into more South American countries to play Brazil. I'd love to have some diverse places. So I'd really like to give back more care. And Eastern Europe to Romania and another really big, community. To be honest with you, if we had all the money, it would just be a case of not having to go on a waitlist and not having to worry about being able to extend sessions to as many as folks wanted.

00:17:28:12 - 00:17:42:00

Leya

So most wonderful thing to be able to do about several, you know, have therapy for as long as you want. That's cool and long as you need us when you need us. But if we have to off limits. Yeah, yeah.

00:17:42:02 - 00:17:47:12

Luna

Money is everything virtual. Are there any in-person situations?

00:17:47:14 - 00:18:14:09

Leya

It can be in-person if you end up being close to your therapist. So for example, if you're in Nevada, if you're if you're in Vegas, yeah, we've got a lot of people in Vegas. If you're in L.A. near Hollywood, we're going to have a lot of therapists in that area. We have a lot of apps in Tampa and Miami and the big cities that actually have to make it to to get that in person, but generally it is virtual.

00:18:14:11 - 00:18:30:20

Leya

And that changed a lot during the pandemic. So a lot of a therapist didn't like to see people virtually. And it made it made life for us a lot harder. So we were having to look on maps to try and find the closest therapist to every single person, which, as I said, we're getting upwards of 350 in work in therapy every month.

00:18:30:20 - 00:18:41:16

Leya

Now, that would have been a very big undertaking. But since Covid and everyone having to work virtually, people are a lot more comfortable with it now, and it certainly makes her life easier.

00:18:41:18 - 00:18:56:11

Luna

What unique insight to do you think you have around sex or the sex industry because of your work, that maybe nobody else does? What pieces of information do you interact with that maybe, like I would never come into contact with.

00:18:56:13 - 00:18:58:03

Leya

Everything just seems normal now. That's what I.

00:18:58:03 - 00:18:59:14

Luna

Mean. I know, I know.

00:18:59:16 - 00:19:00:17

Leya

I know more.

00:19:00:19 - 00:19:15:11

Luna

That's what I've noticed most of all, interviewing people who wear this is their day to day. I get, you know, really straightforward answer because there is a lot of like but I'm like, no, but what are the details? So like, I'm just really curious what you've interacted with that my brain couldn't even ever imagine.

00:19:15:13 - 00:19:57:12

Leya

People used to say, this thing you've seen as a dominatrix of mine, none of it's weird now. I love that it's one of the most beautiful things that I'm encountering as people being open about their mental health struggles and normalizing it, realizing how many people out there are struggling. You know, some of the people that when when I was a model, you know, have an absolute no name and I see these incredible men and women who have, you know, you'd idolize you, look up to you, think, one day I want to be as successful as this person.

00:19:57:14 - 00:20:22:15

Leya

And then realizing that actually, none of us know what we're doing. Yeah, none of us, as confident as we seem. Everyone has their own shit going on. It's cliches. It is. Just be kind to everyone. To everyone. How do you want to be treated? And don't be nervous. Like everyone's just the person. At the end of the day, I think that's.

00:20:22:15 - 00:21:04:23

Leya

Yeah, one of the biggest lessons that I learned very, very early on, the resilience people have. You know, you meet people of who have experience situations that you see in the movies or you read in a magazine, you think, wow, that doesn't happen to people in real life. And I meet these beautiful young, you know, early 20s people who've been through the unimaginable and they smile and they are kind and they just keep going, and they haven't allowed it to dull their shine.

00:21:05:00 - 00:21:17:22

Leya

They are just out there and still trying to make the very, very most of life. And that's that's been a really incredible thing to to watch and be a part of. Yeah.

00:21:18:00 - 00:21:26:21

Luna

I don't know if this question is going to work for you, but we'll try it. What would you say are the sexiest parts of your work and the least sexy parts of this?

00:21:27:00 - 00:21:51:02

Leya

I think yes, it does. The sexy parts of walking on red carpets and getting to hug and touch and kiss all the beautiful, beautiful. Hahaha. Yes, I I'm off to the Gay porn Awards in a week and I will be. I will be touching as many with content beautiful muscular men as possible. Oh my god amazing, amazing.

00:21:51:02 - 00:22:18:19

Leya

Yeah, it's just being surrounded by all these people and everyone's dressed up and I just look. It looks and feels just surrounded by love. There really is. These are shows that just look around and these are my people and everyone's being themselves because they're in an atmosphere where they can be themselves and they're looking gorgeous. And yeah, and the least sexy part is wearing pajamas all day and sitting in front of.

00:22:18:21 - 00:22:28:18

Luna

Yeah, totally. Yeah. And it sounds like you're dealing with some intense shit here and like both admin wise and also just then, you know, learning people and stuff.

00:22:28:18 - 00:22:41:06

Leya

Oh yeah. But if it's all worthwhile and yeah, particularly when you get to meet everyone and, and you see them and have the hugs, then just. Yeah that's beautiful. Yeah.

00:22:41:08 - 00:22:53:19

Luna

Okay. This question can apply to pineapple support. But also like reflecting on any of your work in the adult industry, what is the silliest shame related experience that you have encountered because of your work?

00:22:53:21 - 00:23:19:19

Leya

I mean, my I'm getting a lot better with connecting brain to mouth before volume and sound comes out of it, but I have just slightly shame for like looking back at the person I was when I first saw pineapple because I was a very out back fetish performer coming into my corporate environment, and some of the stuff that I was saying in the way I was acting was just inappropriate.

00:23:19:21 - 00:23:25:13

Luna

Oh. Wait, can you give us examples? Because that's what I'm trying to figure out right now. I'm like, I'm an artist. I don't know how to talk to regular.

00:23:25:13 - 00:23:44:14

Leya

People, but like someone that I, I was looking to go after for sponsorship, and I'm showing them a video of me putting a treat so sausage up my vagina singing Happy Birthday. Okay, so that's a don't do or.

00:23:44:16 - 00:23:45:05

Luna

What was their.

00:23:45:05 - 00:24:12:17

Leya

Reaction like zero as well. So I'm like look at this. And they're like yeah. Yeah I was still friends. It's all good. But you know. Yeah, it's pretty shameful. And then this is the drunken nights and you wake up, right? Oh no, it's what I was. I mean, you know, but the excitement of conferences, particularly when you don't get to leave the office very often.

00:24:12:23 - 00:24:18:11

Leya

Oh, look, I'm in Vegas. I should drink everything.

00:24:18:12 - 00:24:31:01

Luna

What about have you encountered, like, other people's shame in ways where you're like, oh, right. People are ashamed of sex or what? Like, have has anything like that come up either with sponsorships or just talking to people or anything like that?

00:24:31:03 - 00:25:04:06

Leya

I found it quite setting the amount of people who do not want that companies associated with something like pineapple. I found that we couldn't open a bank account. My what what were mental health organization? We could not open an account. You know, we have sponsorships from a few people who don't want to be mentioned, which is, you know, okay, that's fine because they have their reasons.

00:25:04:06 - 00:25:28:02

Leya

But then when you go to a mainstream company and I oh, now that we don't want to give money to you, oh, we don't want to work with you on this is just wild. What where is this shame coming from? Society has messed up views on sex. I mean, you know, we love saying don't keep shame when you're in the industry.

00:25:28:02 - 00:25:54:12

Leya

It's some pretty far out stuff. Yeah. When you think they're actually just sex shaming. And sex is one of the most basic eating, drinking. Okay, this is what we do. We're mammals. How can you attach so much shame to something that our bodies were allegedly crafted to do and enjoy? Absolutely.

00:25:54:14 - 00:26:14:03

Luna

Yeah. Also, just on that note, the more I encounter people who talk to me about sex workers or tell me about the weird requests sex workers have gotten, like, there's like, shame around that. But I'm like, that's coming from people like anyone who wants, like, something in a jar or a bodily fluids or all of these things, like, we're all generating that, like we are creatures.

00:26:14:03 - 00:26:31:10

Luna

We're humans. Can you tell us how your sex related work has influenced your own personal life? Like, especially if you're sex like I mean, you don't have to share details about your sex life, but I'm curious if there has been influence or if you've noticed anything in your own sphere.

00:26:31:12 - 00:27:15:10

Leya

I have noticed myself communicating and setting boundaries. Imagine. Yeah. Which is something that I was really, really bad at. For someone that's quite a strong personality. The strong person. I would let men walk all over me. The whole not good enough narrative that, you know, it's common almost everyone has this, spirit in the in a child work, watching so many, so many webinars because we have a different webinar every month and I watch them more and it just comes up again, boundaries, boundaries, boundaries, communication boundaries, which, communication is part of boundaries.

00:27:15:10 - 00:27:45:09

Leya

But this chapter of life has been understanding the impact of setting boundaries, the necessity to set boundaries, the positive effect that it has on your whole wellbeing, not just mental, physical, everything. Yeah, that would be my major. Take that home. It began when I was in the Bdsm community, but I didn't really suck and play, again, you know, working as a professional dominatrix, I was taking on everybody else's boundaries.

00:27:45:11 - 00:27:48:21

Leya

But land pushed mine.

00:27:48:23 - 00:28:00:08

Luna

Would you feel comfy giving us, like, a specific boundary example? Maybe. Kind of what? Like what your work life and personal life boundaries look like, or just anything that you think is helpful for people to hear?

00:28:00:10 - 00:28:27:16

Leya

I think with work life, that was, when, when pineapple started, I was working 20 hours a day and waking up in the night to try to increase my strength was okay. Carrying my laptop around with me, having a habit of having dinner with people and then starting to work taking a separate space, which we're in now, which is a little like outhouse next to my house and going, okay, these are my working hours when I'm in there.

00:28:27:20 - 00:28:51:00

Leya

I mean that when I close that door, that door is closed. We do not go back in. And now saying no, you know, I work from 8:00 in the morning until eight, nine at night. I'm not working Fridays. If an email comes in, nothing else, any real professional boundaries, you have to leave from the front end. And that's something that I'm continually working on.

00:28:51:02 - 00:29:12:12

Leya

Just making sure that you look after your own mental health, you don't overstretch and you don't hit burnout because it has happened to me over and over again. Then I've been a fan out because if you never fully recover and get the boundaries correct and have a holiday, then you're going to constantly hit burnout and private life.

00:29:12:12 - 00:29:36:12

Leya

I guess the most recent one was being and. But the beginning of something with somebody, getting to a point where I thought, okay, I really like this person, I'm going to tell them what I want. I did, and they were not able to give me that. And I said, okay, then when we're done, we can be friends, but nothing else is going to happen.

00:29:36:14 - 00:29:58:20

Leya

I just want those. Oh. Thank you. The moment you did it, you knew your worth. Is that your boundary? You said that's what you wanted in the bedroom for a while. These times I know I want this, I don't want that. Do not touch me. After. Don't spit in my mouth without asking. Who does that? Yeah, in the throes of passion.

00:29:58:20 - 00:30:04:15

Leya

And then someone spits in my mouth. No. So,

00:30:04:17 - 00:30:25:23

Luna

Okay. In your workplace, especially if you're communicating about something. Well, I don't know. I don't know if you communicate about things that are specifically sexual, but I imagine at least when you're talking to people, maybe sex things come up. How do you communicate around those? Is it just run of the mill for you, or do you ever have explicit conversations with the people you work with about like, here's how we will talk about these things.

00:30:25:23 - 00:30:27:11

Luna

What's that like for you?

00:30:27:13 - 00:30:47:21

Leya

Because I don't provide therapy and I'm just behind tapping away the keyboard. If someone tries to talk about sex, then it's dismissed. If someone that I was in a professional relationship with try to talk about sex in a way that was inappropriate, it would not be tolerated.

00:30:47:23 - 00:30:54:22

Luna

So you're not like dealing with explicit stuff in a normal work context. It's more just like if it comes up, it's like a no go.

00:30:55:00 - 00:31:08:12

Leya

Where in the industry, sex is just a topic of conversation at all times when you're with friends, but no opinion. Yeah, but that wouldn't be part of the general narrative. Okay.

00:31:08:13 - 00:31:16:17

Luna

Do you have to deal with people either? Like not necessarily colleagues, but maybe people who just like meet you in the regular world oversharing with you?

00:31:16:19 - 00:31:18:06

Leya

Yes. When?

00:31:18:08 - 00:31:20:21

Luna

How how do you handle that?

00:31:20:23 - 00:31:50:22

Leya

Oh, yes. I think in that kind of situation, I like to listen and be as kind as possible because as someone working it out in string, for someone who is not in it under strain. For them that may feel comfortable and want to share something I think helps break down that stigma a little bit. And the more we can do that, the more we can have people just talking about sex.

00:31:51:00 - 00:31:58:00

Leya

That's important and it's a nice thing to be able to do, if it's done in an appropriate manner.

00:31:58:01 - 00:32:06:14

Luna

What have you learned about social and or cultural norms through your work that you would say has surprised you?

00:32:06:16 - 00:32:46:06

Leya

I see a lot of people who are very nervous about going to therapy, about opening up about their mental health, talking about boundaries, setting boundaries. So something that I see as the norm is allowing is doing too much. This is this is something that society has drilled into us that we should work harder, we should do more. And you work X amount of hours a day, then you should go out and socialize and you should go and help someone move house or look after their kids or whatever favor someone's asked you to do.

00:32:46:08 - 00:32:48:22

Luna

But also make sure you're getting enough sleep and exercising.

00:32:49:02 - 00:33:14:22

Leya

Somehow, and you need to drinking enough water, I don't yeah, everything we are told to do so much on a daily basis and people need to know their limits. And you know, the, the saying, you can't drink from an empty cup. Something along those lines, you know, always make sure that your cup is full before allowing somebody else to drink from it.

00:33:15:00 - 00:33:35:14

Leya

People. People don't, you know, I particularly see that it to me a lot harder, you know, folks, folks with kids who don't have time to fill that cup up and then then helping other people as well and feeling guilty for for it. It's that guilt, not helping someone when you haven't got time to help yourself is something that really needs to shift.

00:33:35:16 - 00:33:41:17

Leya

Don't feel guilty for loving yourself and giving yourself the time you need. Yeah.

00:33:41:19 - 00:33:48:10

Luna

Okay, so tell us now, what do you want to celebrate the most about your work in this moment.

00:33:48:12 - 00:33:54:06

Leya

That we've just turned five, that we've supported 10,000 people?

00:33:54:08 - 00:33:55:16

Luna

Holy cow.

00:33:55:16 - 00:34:28:05

Leya

Wow. We are adding new resources that will be launched, hopefully in the next month. Just general expansion. And the idea that people that were able to support is incredible. I would like to celebrate everything. I mean, what a wonderful accomplishment. And I say that, you know, it's starting, not just me. It's this is an army. It's just so beautiful to look at when, whenever I have the kind of down days.

00:34:28:06 - 00:34:49:06

Leya

Oh, God, is it worth it? Let's go and look at the testimonials. The support page. Yes, it is, it is. Look at this. This is the people that we're helping. And we're not just helping. Those people are helping their partners and their kids and their friends and family. And it just the ripple effect of happiness. Positivity is beautiful.

00:34:49:06 - 00:34:55:05

Leya

So that's what we're celebrating. Happiness and positivity and it rippling through society. Yeah.

00:34:55:10 - 00:35:11:21

Luna

And you're also helping all of their fans, followers, audience members too, because when the performers are in good, you know, anyone that they interact with, that's a huge ripple effect. Dam okay, well tell us now, what are you excited to explore or grow in your work going forward?

00:35:11:23 - 00:35:37:07

Leya

I would like to I'm taking my coaching certificate so, I'd like to spend more time with education, from mental health practitioners and hopefully work with them to educate more mental health professionals to be able to provide adequate care to sex workers. Yeah, that's hugely important.

00:35:37:09 - 00:35:39:04

Luna

Or about sex at all.

00:35:39:06 - 00:36:11:09

Leya

Get breaking down the stigma around sex work with society. You know, which it is. The webinars that we have, public, we do talk about topics with regard to work in the not in the stream, but the webinars that we do, I think are really, really wonderful way for the public to see that the issues that people in this industry have to face, not because we're any different to allow anybody else, but because society deems with to be different.

00:36:11:09 - 00:36:16:06

Leya

And therefore we have to suffer the consequences. Yeah.

00:36:16:08 - 00:36:24:11

Luna

So if you could wave a magic wand and teach everyone in the whole wide world something sex related, what would it be?

00:36:24:12 - 00:36:28:13

Leya

Well, the clitoris is.

00:36:28:15 - 00:36:50:06

Leya

It would be a thing to know, to know yourself in your own body. I think if everyone in this world knew themselves and their own body and what they liked and explored themselves and were at peace with their own sexual desires, then it would reduce of a hell of a large fuck yeah.

00:36:50:08 - 00:37:21:19

Luna

Okay, now I'd like to invite you into my personal little fantasy brainstorm long term pet project. Okay, so imagine there's a creative space that's part sex ed museum, part erotic art gallery. And then there's a secret member's only dungeon floor down below that doubles as a co-working space or set for erotic performers and models during the week. The whole place has educational workshops on the weeknights, afternoon delight play parties on the weekends, and you have been tasked with designing one of the rooms so it can represent you, your desires.

00:37:21:19 - 00:37:33:17

Luna

It can promote pineapple support or be an experience that you want people to have that reflects your vibe and you have an unlimited budget. What would that room be like?

00:37:33:19 - 00:38:03:03

Leya

I just automatically go to a nice big black dungeon with lots of batting chains, and black leather. Everything's black. Yeah, everything is black and dark and a little bit terrifying. There's cold metal in a hot room. Ooh. Just laughing. So I went straight to my own desires. There are things I don't want you to have a therapy room.

00:38:03:03 - 00:38:08:08

Leya

But now black leather chains. Metal. Yes. I mean.

00:38:08:10 - 00:38:16:11

Luna

That could be a fun place for people to have therapy to. It could open up, you know, it could be both.

00:38:16:13 - 00:38:25:10

Luna

Is there anything else that you want to, like, say about your work? Reflect on work wise or sex work wise, or just about sex in general?

00:38:25:12 - 00:38:42:00

Leya

I think if you're doing it, then you should love it if you're not loving it. But, trying to figure out why you open set your boundaries. Don't. It's kind of a school year.

00:38:42:01 - 00:38:56:21

Luna

And you can find pineapple support on the internet at pineapple Y as well. You can follow Lila at Lieutenant and visit pineapple support. Dawg. Lia, thank you so much for being a guest on Sex Stories.

00:38:56:23 - 00:38:58:22

Leya

Thank you. I've loved it.