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18 bisexual white cis femme, kinky, queer, drag king.

Mercedes’ update from January 2024 | Masochistic Soft Dom

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00:00:00:05 - 00:00:20:00

Luna

Our guest today is an 18 year old, white says of him who was raised atheist, is now a practicing witch, and is kinky, queer, bisexual and a drag king. She's been in several poly relationships so far and is figuring out if she's actually poly or not. Is currently single and having different kinds of sex with several partners. A switch slash masochist slash sadist.

00:00:20:02 - 00:00:34:19

Luna

She love love loves power dynamics, public play, making out and eating pussy from the Pacific Northwest. She has her associates in arts and is working on a BA. Loves to cook, dance and collaborate with friends on parody music videos. Welcome, Mercedes.

00:00:34:21 - 00:00:36:17

Mercedes

Hi. Well, thank you for having me on.

00:00:36:19 - 00:00:47:20

Luna

I'm so excited that you're here. Can you please start out by telling us if you had to rate yourself on a sexual shame meter from one being super shameless to ten being so full of shame, where do you feel right now?

00:00:47:22 - 00:00:57:07

Mercedes

Like at three. Because I'm home for the holidays. Usually you'd be like a 1 or 2, but just because of the fact that I've been around like my parents and my aunts, it's just like, not a sexy space.

00:00:57:10 - 00:01:08:03

Luna

I totally feel you on that. I got home from my family holiday travels yesterday and realized I was like, I haven't touched myself in days. What do I do? Is that how it manifests for you? Are there like other things that come up?

00:01:08:07 - 00:01:09:01

Mercedes

Yeah.

00:01:09:03 - 00:01:13:08

Luna

Okay. Can you give us a little overview of what your sex life is like right now?

00:01:13:10 - 00:01:31:16

Mercedes

So I'm in college, so I've been having a blast meeting people through Tinder and just person one of my partners right now. I met through my friend because he lives on the same floor as my friend. And another one of my partners. My dorms are sort of set up as like apartments. They're called stacks or literally a couple stacks down.

00:01:31:16 - 00:01:33:08

Mercedes

So that's been nice.

00:01:33:10 - 00:01:38:20

Luna

It seems very convenient. Do you still have an active sex life with your own self, or is it mostly partnered right now?

00:01:38:22 - 00:01:45:06

Mercedes

Oh, it definitely active on my own. So I don't have a roommate right now, which is really nice. So I've been taking care of myself.

00:01:45:07 - 00:01:46:07

Luna

Okay.

00:01:46:09 - 00:01:55:11

Mercedes

Yeah, you can. And I am having lots of partner sex. Masturbation is still, like, really important to just keeping everything balanced energetically for myself.

00:01:55:13 - 00:02:10:21

Luna

Totally get that. I also feel like I get hornier if I'm having partnered sex. I mean, I still masturbate most of the time anyway. I guess unless I'm like hanging out with family hardcore for holidays. But yeah, I feel you. Okay, tell us now what you love most about your sex life currently.

00:02:10:23 - 00:02:36:06

Mercedes

Probably just that it's so different. Like I'm a switch and I'm bisexual and so I get so much variety by sleeping with different kinds of people. Like, I'm in sort of like a dumb sub relationship with someone where I'm more dominant. And then I'm having just like, I guess you'd say regular vanilla ish heterosexual sex with another person, which is like so fascinating.

00:02:36:06 - 00:02:46:20

Mercedes

And I love all the different textures, and I love getting to like, please, different kinds of partners. I love all the variety. I'm a Gemini, I'm a Gemini. I love the variety. I love the excitement.

00:02:46:22 - 00:02:56:16

Luna

Oh that's great. Yeah. Gemini. It's like, let me let me learn this lesson. Learned that. Let me research this. So do tell us what is sexy to you. I'm hearing variety of sexy. I'm hearing pleasing partners is sexy.

00:02:56:16 - 00:03:15:06

Mercedes

What else is like a tingle that I feel in my chest? It can even be like a good cup of coffee you like. Or taking a shower and like the steam and your your hair is wet and you're just like, I feel great. Yeah, it's an energetic pulsing that comes from like, my chest all the way down. It's like, oh, this is fantastic.

00:03:15:07 - 00:03:31:12

Mercedes

I love someone who can make me laugh and who I can like, debate and talk with. I love adventurous people, and I love people who are open because I love learning about their lives and hearing their stories. That's really cool to me. I like open, an adventurous people.

00:03:31:14 - 00:03:48:00

Luna

I really connect with that. I feel like the sex that I have with people who are more open leads to a different texture of connection, which I really appreciate, especially because I love actually tasting the different variety instead of like a closed person. It's different for me. So when do you feel sexiest?

00:03:48:02 - 00:04:14:03

Mercedes

The sexiest I felt in a long time. Was I had a partner stay over in my dorm, and I had to go to work in the morning when, like, we'd been like fucking all night till like 1 or 2. And then I was like, oh shit, I have to go to work. And my partner stayed over and he was just like, passed out, snoring, getting ready for work, like really quietly and like sneaking at the door and texting him like, good morning, sleep.

00:04:14:05 - 00:04:19:03

Mercedes

You need to. It was just outspend. Tastic was the best feeling. Yeah.

00:04:19:05 - 00:04:31:10

Luna

You're offering me in my mind, bring a texture of like, is part of that for you? Like the going out of like it's like your little secret. Like there's still someone in my bed, like, now, but I'm open about doing my life now.

00:04:31:12 - 00:04:41:06

Mercedes

Exactly. Like, I might be super sleep deprived, but like, I just had amazing sex. Yeah, and the sex is so good. There's a partner snoring at my bed.

00:04:41:08 - 00:04:45:23

Luna

Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. And sometimes, even if I'm a little bit sore, too, I'm like, I'm the reminder.

00:04:46:01 - 00:04:53:09

Mercedes

Exactly. Know there's nothing better than having, like, freshly fucked. Like isn't sort of like limp.

00:04:53:11 - 00:04:56:03

Luna

Oh, my muscles are sore from having so much. Okay.

00:04:56:06 - 00:04:57:16

Mercedes

Yeah, exactly.

00:04:57:18 - 00:05:05:22

Luna

Can you give us an example of a sexy, explicitly clear yes moment that you have either given or received that led to something super hot.

00:05:06:00 - 00:05:27:00

Mercedes

A couple months ago, the first time I'd like actually, like, negotiated, like a full on scene with a partner where I was not in the dominant role. We talked about it, but we talked about it like we were sort of choreographed, like a play or a dance. These are the different acts to the structure, and that was just the structure of that was so fucking amazing.

00:05:27:00 - 00:05:47:08

Mercedes

And I was with a partner who's like super creative. After we had that like long conversation about consent for like, tie me up, but we didn't have any rope. So we use like headphones and like my laptop cable, like all the cords you could find in the room. He's just rummaging around my time. Yeah. And then he drew all over my arms and my thighs, which was so fucking hard.

00:05:47:08 - 00:06:06:08

Mercedes

One the feeling of like, just that sort of light touch, but also the fact that he was like, literally creating art on my body. Yeah. He had asked me like, what's something that you want to try that you've never tried before? I'm like, I want to try works, but I've never done that before. And so he very slowly, like, dripped wax on my thigh and then drew around the wax.

00:06:06:10 - 00:06:10:09

Mercedes

And then once the wax on the site, like, peeled it off. And that was like.

00:06:10:11 - 00:06:27:09

Luna

I love that. What a multimedia, interactive experience right there. Can I ask how closely you stuck to your plan? Because I definitely speak with some people who are like, I could possibly make a plan that will ruin my sexy spontaneity. And then I talk to other people who are like, oh yeah, I make the plan. And then, you know, we do our thing.

00:06:27:09 - 00:06:29:12

Luna

And like, how was it for you?

00:06:29:14 - 00:06:49:15

Mercedes

I think we stuck to the plan pretty closely because I liked the build up of it. I'm an actor, and the partner with was also a performer. So like the building upon the different levels of like sensation and texture was important. And you know, no, we didn't really deviate from the plan, but I've had other scenes where there was deviation from the plan.

00:06:49:15 - 00:06:53:15

Mercedes

That was fun because there was communication during it that was like, let's try something else.

00:06:53:17 - 00:07:02:10

Luna

Yes, some love that. Okay. So when you tell a friend, I got laid last night, what do you usually mean? What counts as sex for you?

00:07:02:12 - 00:07:18:20

Mercedes

I think if there was consent, sexual pleasure on either side, whatever that means. Once I think I even, like, made out with a partner, and we both still had our pants on and our shirts off. But like, I think we both came just because we were like, dry humping for such a long time. Like, that was definitely sex.

00:07:18:20 - 00:07:19:04

Mercedes

Okay.

00:07:19:09 - 00:07:28:05

Luna

But like physical or would like a really hot sexting session where you're taking care of yourself. Would you describe that as like, getting laid? I'm just curious because everyone's got definitions.

00:07:28:05 - 00:07:44:14

Mercedes

I think I have to be physically there with a partner for it to counter sex for me, which is weird because I feel like video sex or that kind of thing is also a type of pleasure. But like for me, touch is so important. If I'm not actually there physically touching someone, it's not sex. It's like sex adjacent.

00:07:44:16 - 00:07:51:17

Mercedes

It's still like sexy and it's still hot. But if there's not someone physically in the room with me, it's doesn't count of sex to me. Yeah.

00:07:51:19 - 00:08:11:14

Luna

I would say most of the people I talk to, if they're talking about something that is long distance, they will use a qualifier or an extra adjective, for example, long distance or video, like it's like kind of its own category. Yeah. So now tell us, did you ever get a helpful sex education or an explicit health and safety talk or lesson from consent from a grown up you trusted growing up?

00:08:11:16 - 00:08:31:23

Mercedes

Well sort of. My mom was always good about like, no one should touch you in sensitive areas, but they don't ever really have a sex talk. They got me a book from the library and let me go through it myself. And then I remember once when I was ten, my mom just decided that it was time to tell me what abortion was while we were folding laundry.

00:08:32:00 - 00:08:45:02

Mercedes

And then she was always like, if I asked a question, she would tell me, like, I think I learned about periods pretty young because there's some like, blood in the bathroom. And I was worried about her. I was like, mom, are you okay? And she was like, no, I'm just on my period. This is a normal, healthy thing.

00:08:45:04 - 00:09:04:16

Mercedes

The funny thing is I connected periods to babies, but I didn't think there was any dicks involved in creating a baby, so I just thought a woman was like, I'm done having a period. I'm not a baby. Not like I thought you were something you sort of like willed in your mind, love. Cause I understood the whole developmental process from, like, the cells to the embryos to the fetus to being born and being a baby.

00:09:04:16 - 00:09:15:09

Mercedes

And I understood that periods who needed an egg to have a baby. But I didn't realize that it was a sperm until I was like nine, which I think is ridiculous. Wow.

00:09:15:10 - 00:09:18:23

Luna

Okay, that's still a lot more than a lot of people understand at the very know.

00:09:18:23 - 00:09:19:22

Mercedes

I'm lucky that way.

00:09:20:00 - 00:09:23:14

Luna

Do you remember what book you got and how old you were when you bought it?

00:09:23:16 - 00:09:33:21

Mercedes

I think I was nine, I think that the book was the one who explained it to me, I don't remember. All I remember is there are lots of illustrations of people of all different types of bodies, which I think was cool.

00:09:33:23 - 00:09:35:06

Luna

What about in school?

00:09:35:08 - 00:09:40:07

Mercedes

In fifth grade, they put all the boys in one room and all the girls in one room.

00:09:40:09 - 00:09:41:19

Luna

They're still doing that.

00:09:41:21 - 00:09:58:22

Mercedes

They're still doing that. It's so weird. And then our teacher gave us all pads and tampons, and then we were supposed to go and put it in our lockers. Then the boys got out of there. It's like that at the same time. Then they made fun of us for putting pads and tampons in our lockers. It was awful and nobody corrected them.

00:09:58:22 - 00:10:10:10

Mercedes

I'm like, no, you shouldn't be making fun of them. This is something that they need. This is like a medical supply. There's no teacher correcting them that they shouldn't tease us for needing to have pads and tampons in our lockers, which was awful.

00:10:10:10 - 00:10:17:14

Luna

Yeah. Also like guys definitely don't. Period. Shame if you want someone to think you're hot all month, every month.

00:10:17:16 - 00:10:35:10

Mercedes

You know, literally. And then these same guys, because I went to a pretty small private school because my mom taught there. I remember in seventh grade, we were doing some sort of project that involve glue guns, and the guy joked that you could use a glue gun stick as a tampon. I was like, no. And then I was like, do you know?

00:10:35:11 - 00:10:46:05

Mercedes

But then I had to explain to him what periods were so clearly their sex education was not effective. Whenever a male teacher was giving them sex, I did not explain to them what periods were or which was like, that's just a failing.

00:10:46:07 - 00:10:51:14

Luna

Yeah. And it just makes me curious if that guy now has like, I don't know, insertion fantasy either. What if that's the point?

00:10:51:16 - 00:10:55:08

Mercedes

He's sticking up his ass. All kinds.

00:10:55:08 - 00:11:04:21

Luna

Of stuff. Who knows? Okay, can you tell us now what happens to your shame meter when it's time to talk to a partner, especially a new partner, about safer sex?

00:11:04:23 - 00:11:24:16

Mercedes

I think it gets pretty high. But it's always a conversation that I have just because I want to keep them safe and I want to keep myself safe. But it's always awkward and I'm always the one initiating it, which sucks. How do you wish it went? I like you on a part you did recently that the idea of going on a first date with getting tested together.

00:11:24:16 - 00:11:39:08

Mercedes

I like that idea, but I wish it was someone else adjusting that idea, which I know I just got to do it myself, but I get just manifested that some magical unicorn partner is going to come down and be like, let's get tested together and then get coffee, and it's going to be wonderful.

00:11:39:10 - 00:12:02:14

Luna

I mean, I don't know, I think that if we all put our minds to it, in the four years of sex stories, my brain has just been growing, growing, growing in terms of like ideas. And I cannot stop thinking about what I want is a creation space where we have obviously the best, like gift shop books are lingerie, sex toys will ampitheater like in all the fancy Apple stores where the free workshops happen.

00:12:02:16 - 00:12:21:20

Luna

And then like level one is like the basic family friendly sex ed, and maybe it's in a different building, I don't know, but level two is the like. So that's education and at the end of education, like for the grown up ones, you know, because it's obviously sectioned off by ages, then that's where you get tested with your partner because you've gotten this cool thing, you know, and then the level two is inspiration level three is play.

00:12:21:20 - 00:12:38:19

Luna

And that's like inspiration level erotic art stuff. So that's like what I'm obsessed about. And I'm like, that's fantastic. What what have we just made? Space is where like a cool date space to go get tested. Because I will say, the clinics I've been to have never been particularly inspiring for date, and I really admire the people who go do that.

00:12:38:21 - 00:12:43:11

Mercedes

So as a nurse being like, go stick this up. You're like, like.

00:12:43:13 - 00:12:50:06

Luna

For me, it's been like the people there seem like uncomfortable. I very rarely see people chatting and like the people who work there are lovely.

00:12:50:06 - 00:12:53:04

Mercedes

But yet the nurses are always lovely. But it's always super awkward.

00:12:53:09 - 00:13:03:13

Luna

And celebrating the fact that you are taking initiative and bringing stuff up, even if you don't want to. All right? I mean, we call in a world where we're like, all right, I'm feeling it. So okay.

00:13:03:19 - 00:13:17:21

Mercedes

I wish people wouldn't get defensive when I asked it. It's like when I ask like, hey, have you gotten tested recently to be like, no, no, no, no, I'm clean. I'm clear. Like I need to find a way to word it, but I don't want to have to send a paragraph. It's like, I don't think you have anything, but I just want to be safe.

00:13:17:21 - 00:13:25:09

Mercedes

I want to just be able to ask like, hey, when's the last time you got tested without someone thinking that? I'm calling them, like, dirty, which is not at all what I'm trying to do.

00:13:25:13 - 00:13:47:00

Luna

Can I offer a frame that I've been kind of you? Yeah. I've been using something along the lines of, so I think you're very sexy, and I'm interested in exploring this connection in the physical realm. I also think it's super sexy to have regular testing. Here's my most recent test here. My results. Here's what we need, you know, so I let people know that I got herpes in my throat, depending on where we are usually tell in person.

00:13:47:00 - 00:14:02:02

Luna

But like and then I say, you know, what's your testing practices or status and is there anything I need to know for us to play safely if we go that route? You know, and that's also a great way to just like check interest levels too. I still get people that are like, I'm, I'm, I'm not I'm, I'm fine.

00:14:02:02 - 00:14:03:23

Luna

And I'm like, cool, okay, great.

00:14:04:00 - 00:14:06:11

Mercedes

But but what were you left?

00:14:06:12 - 00:14:21:20

Luna

Yeah. Can you answer the question please. You know, and that also gives me more and more information. And I think just as a person that's now I've gotten about it around enough that I'm like, no, I don't want any more snafu. It was a year like I do get tested regularly. I want other people who also love that.

00:14:21:20 - 00:14:41:10

Luna

And I've also been responsible for influencing some of my partners to like, make that shift. And so, you know, ripple effect. Okay. So now take us back in time. Start with your early years and take us through your formative sexual experience. What was important? When did you remember learning stuff. And we'll just kind of learn the stories along the way.

00:14:41:12 - 00:15:04:14

Mercedes

I think the first time I sort of like cognitive remember sex was my my mom was a director and she would take me to rehearsal because childcare was expensive. And she was directing in a production of Othello. Othello essentially murders his wife because he thinks that she's sleeping with his best friend. And that's my first like, oh, there's something that people do behind closed door.

00:15:04:15 - 00:15:15:07

Mercedes

So it's like very personal and very like fraught. So that's probably it, which is not that was the thing about it. Super positive because it's super violent.

00:15:15:13 - 00:15:24:16

Luna

Every single time that there's a jealousy narrative, I'm like again. And then people use it as evidence of, so how was it for you that that was your first like exposure to this thing?

00:15:24:22 - 00:16:00:15

Mercedes

Probably bad, I'd say also because my dad grew up Southern Baptist, so at home there wasn't really any like pop culture TV surrounding sex or that like, media surrounding sex was like these like really old plays. Because my mom did a lot of Shakespeare. Did the Penelope had, you know, the Penelope had. No. It's a story of Odysseus comes back from war, and his wife Penelope has been fighting off all these suitors because she's trying to stay loyal to her husband, Odysseus doesn't know that she's been fighting off the suitors, and so he thinks that she's been cheating on him.

00:16:00:17 - 00:16:07:08

Mercedes

So he, like, basically murders all her female servants. What?

00:16:07:10 - 00:16:10:03

Luna

Yeah, I don't like that logic at all.

00:16:10:05 - 00:16:33:02

Mercedes

And it's it's super sexist and violent and awful. My mom did it with all women to sort of like a make a political sort of statement about it. And now off what is and reframed it from a women's point of view. So it was like a really beautiful piece of art, but it was like traumatizing. I think, as a little kid, to be in that space for jealousy and and rape to be the main portrayals of sex.

00:16:33:02 - 00:16:54:06

Mercedes

Because at home, like, I remember I was watching the Titanic when I was like ten and my dad was like, no, turn this off. There's like, you're too young for that. So, like, positive examples of sex were not really around me because sort of like normal, like sitcom sex or even rom com movie sex, which is not I mean, not the best, but it's at least consensual.

00:16:54:06 - 00:17:11:14

Mercedes

I'm like, both people are having fun. Yeah. So I definitely messed with my brain and messed with, I think, idea that sex is this sort of like kind of this violent, awful thing until I was like probably 13 or 14 and just sort of shut off that part of my brain.

00:17:11:16 - 00:17:19:20

Luna

What was the transition that happened when you were 13 or 14 and was there fear like, how did it manifest in your everyday life? Like, did you have crushes or was it like, fuck no.

00:17:19:22 - 00:17:39:23

Mercedes

Honestly, it's probably going through therapy. I started going through therapy at the end of middle school. Probably that was what allowed me to open up. But I think, yeah, no, I just sort of shut off that part of my brain because when I knew I was queer from like a very young age. So any attractor I had towards women was terrifying to me.

00:17:40:01 - 00:18:00:11

Mercedes

Because it's not that my parents were homophobic or I mean, my mom had friends that were gay, but just that there was also so much media around me and at my school again, it was a small prep school. People were teased for being too gay or it was like predatory for a girl to like another girl. So I shut all of that down.

00:18:00:12 - 00:18:18:08

Mercedes

There's this one girl I ran track with that I just had such a big crush, but I loved her so much. But I, like, hated myself. I just ate myself up inside because of it. And then also, there's lots of shame around sexuality because there was a couple boys in my grade. I was a pretty short kid, and I was.

00:18:18:10 - 00:18:44:16

Mercedes

I talked back, and so there was one boy who I had been teasing that apparently he really didn't like it. And so he sexually assaulted me. And I told the teacher and she did nothing about it. And so that reinforced the narrative. That's like men are violent towards women. And I shut off both the attraction to men and the attraction of women and the attraction to anybody for like, such a long time until like high school, I had crushes.

00:18:44:16 - 00:18:54:03

Mercedes

I just I never did anything about them because I was so scared of being hurt, and I was so scared of hurting other people.

00:18:54:05 - 00:18:55:06

Luna

That makes a lot of sense.

00:18:55:06 - 00:18:57:02

Mercedes

Sorry. That was such a trauma dump.

00:18:57:07 - 00:19:14:11

Luna

That's what we're here. We're here to unpack, like all the stories that our nervous systems don't know or anything, but true. Like when we're little kids, the stuff that we get given to us. How in the world can we know? And until we hear other people's stories, we may not know that it's actually pretty normal for us to all get battered, but that doesn't make it easier.

00:19:14:11 - 00:19:34:16

Luna

So yeah, I appreciate you sharing that information. What part feels most helpful? Because it sounds like we're about to get into the part where you've come a long way from those early experiences. I have a couple questions. My first one is you said you were raised atheist. Does that come with any sexual values? Also, your dad went from being Southern Baptist to like you were raised atheist?

00:19:34:16 - 00:19:56:22

Mercedes

Yeah. No. His twin sister, for instance, is an adorned pastor. Wow. He completely in college. He's just like, no. Okay. And stopped going to church. Told his mommy wasn't going to church. His mom was okay with it, but he had a bunch of aunts being like, you're going to hell, right? My family, not all of them, but I have a couple aunts that are like, we should send gay kids to conversion therapy level, right?

00:19:56:22 - 00:19:59:12

Mercedes

Southern Baptist oof!

00:19:59:13 - 00:20:03:12

Luna

Oof! Well, I'm glad that that is not the household you grew up in first.

00:20:03:13 - 00:20:06:16

Mercedes

No. God, I'm so. I'm so thankful for my dad that he left.

00:20:06:16 - 00:20:25:14

Luna

That even though you went through this time period of just, like, nope, not safe, not going to access it. Don't want to get judged for being queer. Don't want to get raped by guys because apparently that's the thing. Don't want to engage with these jealousy scary narratives. But then you got support and it sounds like that was maybe a turning point for you.

00:20:25:14 - 00:20:28:06

Luna

Like therapy stuff. I don't want to put words in your mouth, but tell.

00:20:28:06 - 00:20:46:00

Mercedes

Us therapy stuff. And also my friends, I had a couple friends. One of my friends started to come out like come out of the closet. It was like a relief and I could drop all that weight and I could start just being able to talk about all these things that I'd been bottling up that I thought were so shameful and so awful.

00:20:46:06 - 00:20:55:22

Mercedes

But then these people who were my peers were able to talk about it with so much love and so much grace that I was like, okay, there's nothing wrong with me, there's nothing wrong with me.

00:20:56:00 - 00:21:00:08

Luna

So I'm hearing community and guidance maybe led to some opening up.

00:21:00:10 - 00:21:00:23

Mercedes

Exactly.

00:21:01:03 - 00:21:03:05

Luna

Yeah. Tell us more details.

00:21:03:07 - 00:21:27:05

Mercedes

My first therapist was this awesome millennial lesbian lady who was also pretty witchy, and she made me feel seen and heard, and she helped me unpack the trauma from being assaulted by my peers and all the weird narratives around sex, and just help me heal from that and let it go and just be have it not define me, but just become part of my story, not the story.

00:21:27:07 - 00:21:28:09

Mercedes

Yeah.

00:21:28:11 - 00:21:41:04

Luna

When did you start exploring your own self and sexuality? You mentioned that you knew you were queer from a young age, but also it sounds like there was some shut down, put away stuff. So what did early explorations look like for you?

00:21:41:06 - 00:21:47:02

Mercedes

I think I didn't start masturbating till I was like 13. There's a historical fiction book.

00:21:47:04 - 00:21:55:03

Luna

I love it. No, I love it. Also like that's why a lot of books are popular because they got sex scenes. I just thought.

00:21:55:04 - 00:22:14:06

Mercedes

It was mostly not about sex. It's mostly about two young women. They're come back to their hometown for, like, a festival. They, like, left their husbands and kids at home. And it was a hot summer night. And I think they didn't even, like, really like, but they, like, I think touched each other or something. And I was like, that's something you can do.

00:22:14:08 - 00:22:38:06

Mercedes

I had never touched myself before. And I came and I was like, oh, this is off that. Too scared to look at porn. So I would look at like bra ads and what like catalogs. My mom looked and for a while I would like basically draw my own porn. I just basically like, draw like the kind of sex that I was wanting to have as a queer person thing.

00:22:38:08 - 00:22:39:19

Mercedes

And my dad found that.

00:22:39:20 - 00:22:40:07

Luna

Oh.

00:22:40:07 - 00:22:42:23

Mercedes

No, that's how I came out to him.

00:22:43:01 - 00:22:44:06

Luna

How old were you?

00:22:44:08 - 00:22:45:14

Mercedes

14. Oh, jeez.

00:22:45:14 - 00:23:02:00

Luna

Yeah. I mean, how how are we supposed to let our dads know that we are, in fact, creatures of desire? Like, I still feel awkward at home, you know, when I'm like, I am you know, like, one time they're like, so what is it? What is your obsession with sex? Like, how does one say to their father, actually, I'm just incredibly horny.

00:23:02:00 - 00:23:06:14

Luna

Probably hornier than anyone you've met. You know, like, you know, I had some desire. It's interesting.

00:23:06:18 - 00:23:16:00

Mercedes

Now we've gone to the point where they'll be, like a pretty actress or something, and I'll be like, she's hot. And I'll be like, yeah, she is hot. But that's a good as far as we'll ever get. And that's okay. Yeah, yeah.

00:23:16:04 - 00:23:18:00

Luna

That's great. I love that.

00:23:18:02 - 00:23:27:11

Mercedes

Once I came home with a hickey when I was like 15 or 16, he oral you felt I felt the Southern Baptist come out of it. He told me I'd been marked by the devil.

00:23:27:13 - 00:23:28:01

Luna

What did you.

00:23:28:01 - 00:23:36:15

Mercedes

Say? I said, no, I haven't. I'm like. And then I just started crying and I went upstairs to my mom, and she's like, all teenagers get hickeys. Your dad don't listen to your dad.

00:23:36:19 - 00:23:39:12

Luna

Was it like a joke marked by the devil, or was it like, no.

00:23:39:12 - 00:23:41:13

Mercedes

He was like, you've been marked like you shouting at me.

00:23:41:13 - 00:23:54:03

Luna

Oh, wow. Okay. Wow, man, humans are so interesting and complicated. Okay, so at some point, you started partnered explorations. What led up to that? How did we get there? How'd you get the hickeys?

00:23:54:05 - 00:24:09:08

Mercedes

When I was 14, I think I just was like, okay, I'm ready. I had my first kiss and after that that sort of just like, oh, I like kissing. I'm just going to like, if someone seems interested in me, I'm asked if I can kiss them. And for the most part, they did want to kiss me. And if they didn't, I'd be like, okay, move on.

00:24:09:10 - 00:24:16:11

Mercedes

My first little girlfriend, I had the beginning. A sophomore year. We were making out and our braces got caught together.

00:24:16:13 - 00:24:20:00

Luna

Literally. Oh my gosh, I've heard stories of that. Wow. What did you do?

00:24:20:00 - 00:24:38:05

Mercedes

We broke up the next day just out of sheer embarrassment. Oh, but I don't really count that as my first relationship because there was like it was fun, but it wasn't like there wasn't like deep connection. And then I had my first, like, serious relationship, like about six months later with someone that I actually was still friends with.

00:24:38:09 - 00:24:56:11

Mercedes

That was when I was first, like, oh shit, I'm thinking, this is fun. There was never really like a conversation. They knew that they were thinking. I remember once we were just like walking. We went to the same school and we lived in the same neighborhood. We were walking home from school one day and they're like, hey, do you want this key?

00:24:56:11 - 00:25:11:19

Mercedes

Because I had this, like locker on my back and you could have the key, like, do you want to do that? It was like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes yes yes. From there I realized how hot that was for me. So I just that this did like a shit ton of research because I'm a nerd and a lot of it was like, oh no, scary porn.

00:25:11:19 - 00:25:32:00

Mercedes

And then I but then I'd find articles like written by a dominatrix is or something. I was like, this is fantastic. This is the kind of sex that I would feel comfortable having. And then lucky for me, my first partner was very much into that and very much then giving me the key was telling me like, please, I want to be submissive.

00:25:32:06 - 00:25:54:02

Mercedes

And it was strange to explain to my friends because what my partner was older than me, which I think is unique in those kind of dynamics. First there be the confusion because it was like to offend people, but my partner was trans math, and then the fact that I was topping him was like so confusing to everyone.

00:25:54:04 - 00:26:11:06

Mercedes

I mean, not something that I was like hey like sharing to everybody. But if my friends would ask me questions, I would tell them was just so completely confused and there's some shame that came from that. Like, is there something wrong with me? Like but now I'm like, now that was just a really cool, unique experience. Interesting.

00:26:11:06 - 00:26:17:21

Luna

Which was a shame. Related to like the norms around age and like gender role like perceived.

00:26:17:21 - 00:26:24:20

Mercedes

Yeah, age and gender roles. And just like, not only were we having queer sex, but we're also having queer kinky sex.

00:26:24:22 - 00:26:29:06

Luna

Did that shame stick around or did it sort of like dissipate? The more fun you had?

00:26:29:08 - 00:26:43:01

Mercedes

Oh, it dissipated, the more fun we had. Okay. Because like for the first, like I would sneak around and not talk to my friends about it for like the first couple months we dated. But then after that I was like, oh, this is exhausting. I don't care anymore. Yeah, my best friend was like, Mercedes, where have you been?

00:26:43:01 - 00:26:48:23

Mercedes

Because you haven't been eating lunch with us. And I was like, well, blah blah blah blah blah. I'm not like spent at all. That was like.

00:26:49:01 - 00:26:53:23

Luna

Wait, what does that mean? You were fucking during lunch? Or were you just, you know, with your.

00:26:54:01 - 00:26:58:17

Mercedes

Where is the choir practice room?

00:26:58:19 - 00:27:01:14

Luna

Wait, were you fucking in the choir practice room?

00:27:01:15 - 00:27:03:18

Mercedes

No no no no no. Okay. Like eating their pussy years.

00:27:03:22 - 00:27:14:04

Luna

Okay, okay. Cool. What would you tell us? Is it strange for you to talk to someone who is older than you or has masculine? No.

00:27:14:06 - 00:27:16:17

Mercedes

Okay, not at all. It's super fucking fun.

00:27:16:17 - 00:27:21:18

Luna

The fact that they tell us the parts that you were like, yeah, this is the sex for me. Like, it sounds like there was a knowing about that.

00:27:21:21 - 00:27:41:04

Mercedes

I loved seeing the look on their face when I was making them feel good. Yeah. And like, kissing them was really fun. And they also were really good at giving hickeys. That's also the partner that I was like, I really, really like hickeys. And they were really good at giving hickeys and taught me how to give hickeys on them.

00:27:41:06 - 00:27:59:17

Mercedes

And that was so fucking hot. I never like tied them up or anything, but it was definitely there's definitely a power dynamic. There's also like a lot of public play. Not because we were like oh we like publicly but just because of out of necessity, you know, because we were both in high school and like my parents, my house was not an option.

00:27:59:17 - 00:28:23:20

Mercedes

And they shared a room with their little brother. So that was also not an option. So with lots of like fucking in the woods by our houses or like in the school bathroom or like making out in the back corner of a party, which is, I think definitely warmly having sex on a bed. It's fun. But what about the words I love having sex in the woods.

00:28:23:22 - 00:28:30:16

Luna

Okay good. Tell us more about that. And do you do it during all seasons? Yeah, it's rainy up in the Pacific Northwest.

00:28:30:18 - 00:28:39:11

Mercedes

Well, not when it's raining. Okay. Definitely out in the winter time. There's, like, definitely a window. Okay. I think it's ideal from like April to October.

00:28:39:12 - 00:28:40:19

Luna

That's a pretty good stretch.

00:28:40:21 - 00:28:56:04

Mercedes

There's like this little hiking trail right. My dorm. It's kind of tucked away in the woods unlike the farthest end of campus. And there's like a little hiking trail, supermarket, biking trail. I walked up hiking with a partner and we were just going to sit in the woods and make out. And then he was like, there's a log.

00:28:56:04 - 00:29:12:01

Mercedes

And I was like, there is a log. He just was like, do you want me to fuck you on this log? And I was like, yes, yes, fuck yes. You fucked me from behind. It was cold, so I didn't take my chair off. But just like we took our pants off and he just fucked me behind with my, like, arms over the log.

00:29:12:01 - 00:29:16:03

Mercedes

And it was like the coolest feeling. And you could hear, like, birds and stuff.

00:29:16:05 - 00:29:18:05

Luna

You couldn't get log burner anything.

00:29:18:07 - 00:29:31:12

Mercedes

Oh, I had pine needles in my pants. I was that I pine needles on my pants. I love hiking and backpacking, and I think that's also part of it. I just love being outside. It makes me feel alive, but I've definitely gotten mosquito bites on my ass. Yeah. No fun?

00:29:31:13 - 00:29:46:13

Luna

Totally. But it sounds like no, like wasp stings. Or because there's lots of creatures out or no. Maybe they're respecting the birds and the bees, as it were. What happened between fucking in the choir room at lunch and like the log sex so much?

00:29:46:13 - 00:30:11:21

Mercedes

Oh my gosh, I had another partner that was awesome. They're like six foot four fem like Russian person. Wow. And what taught me, which I hadn't had never happened to me before. And I also realized that I had a thing for like someone be taller than me. Something about that being really, really hot like fam five, seven, nine, five, six and three quarters pretty.

00:30:12:03 - 00:30:18:15

Mercedes

I'm like not tall, tall, but I'm like tall enough that with most partners I don't feel like being teased. You know what I mean?

00:30:18:17 - 00:30:20:02

Luna

I totally know what you mean.

00:30:20:04 - 00:30:23:22

Mercedes

You get it. But with this person, I felt small. And now it's so hot.

00:30:24:00 - 00:30:28:04

Luna

Without your first time being more on the submissive side. Yeah, yeah. How old were you?

00:30:28:06 - 00:30:30:17

Mercedes

I was 16, 17.

00:30:30:19 - 00:30:33:15

Luna

What did you learn about that side of yourself like that?

00:30:33:15 - 00:30:46:10

Mercedes

I'm more bratty and that it's not fun if they're still not at like a power exchange. There has to be a fight. It's really hard for me just to drop into that space without there being some, like, push back, which is super fun for me.

00:30:46:12 - 00:31:02:23

Luna

Okay, so I'm not a like total like I'm a complete good. I'm like just waiting for someone who, like, is worthy of having all of my goodness, you know, like I'm like for like filtering through that, I was like, just I just want to be good and serve. But for you, it's more about the like, tension created or the kind of like the tension.

00:31:02:23 - 00:31:09:14

Mercedes

I'm like, I'm a switch and I'm learning. You got to be the top. Yes, top of the top. For me to get on my knees for you.

00:31:09:16 - 00:31:16:07

Luna

Tell me what the top three top top, top is. Top looks like for you. Like what does make you want to get on your knees for someone.

00:31:16:09 - 00:31:35:10

Mercedes

Someone who's confident? Definitely. And also someone who wants to take care of me. Like I'm such a sucker for someone like cooking for me or like taking me out on a date or buying me food because I'm a musician. I remember once that was the best date to play guitar and he, like, asked me what songs I wanted to sing at.

00:31:35:10 - 00:31:45:18

Mercedes

He like was so good at playing the guitar. I could just be like, I want to sing this song. And he knew all of Amy Winehouse music, which was so hot for me. Now. So I was like, okay, fuck me, please.

00:31:45:20 - 00:31:58:06

Luna

I'll do what needs to be in place safety wise. I heard you mentioned nurturing, but what makes you feel safe beyond getting talked into submission? But what do you need to feel like? Yes, they can hold me.

00:31:58:08 - 00:32:15:20

Mercedes

If they're kind to me and their communicator, and I know that they're not going to just afterwards leave me in that vulnerable, weird space of like, fuck, we just had like really intense sex. And now I'm just like, laying here and I feel empty. Like I want someone that I know is going to hold me after and that's going to talk to me.

00:32:15:23 - 00:32:19:15

Mercedes

Someone that I know if I say stop or stop.

00:32:19:17 - 00:32:24:19

Luna

Yeah. Do you typically play with like regular words like stop or do you ever use a safe word?

00:32:24:21 - 00:32:38:02

Mercedes

I've created safe words with partners. I remember once was with like platypus or something, but we didn't end up with music. I haven't got ever gotten to CNC and right now it's still on my hard no list. So stop and no are still good words for me to be like, okay.

00:32:38:06 - 00:32:44:17

Luna

Cool, okay, what else? Like lights you up? Or what else did you discover on your way to where you are right now?

00:32:44:19 - 00:33:15:14

Mercedes

I started having sex with someone who is in an open relationship with his girlfriend, and then I started playing with his girlfriend to and we would all play together. And that was really fun until like, jealousy and stuff came into it. But I won't get into that because it's in the past. But that was so incredibly fun because all of us were switches, so there was just constant give and take and like, I remember when she was writing him and I was just sort of like sitting in his head was in my lap.

00:33:15:14 - 00:33:37:04

Mercedes

So I got to watch her face and she was writing him, and I was just the coolest in the world, holding up things. Or once she was doing all the work and he just sort of like held my legs down while she finger me. And I was like, And the best part is like, she was definitely, like the most top of the top and in the, in our whole dynamic.

00:33:37:06 - 00:33:39:04

Mercedes

So it was her that was calling all the shots.

00:33:39:06 - 00:33:49:00

Luna

I fucking love that. Who would usually initiate was their usual what are like, tell us some of the details of just like switching back and forth between three people.

00:33:49:01 - 00:34:05:06

Mercedes

We all honestly took turns. Mostly it was me or her. I remember once he was like playing a video game and both of us were over and were making it out literally in his bed and she was like, come play with us. And he was like, now after this game. And she was like, you have two bitches in your bed.

00:34:05:06 - 00:34:07:19

Mercedes

What are you doing?

00:34:07:21 - 00:34:12:20

Luna

I mean, screens give a very strong dopamine response. In humans. There is a thing as a theory that.

00:34:12:20 - 00:34:23:06

Mercedes

It's your judgment towards that. But afterwards she drove me home when she was like, if I was him, I would never be playing a video game if I had two women in my bed. I mean, I was like, yeah, same.

00:34:23:09 - 00:34:31:18

Luna

If I put myself in your place. I really want to have partners who are more interested in my naked body than in playing another video game, just personally.

00:34:31:20 - 00:34:41:22

Mercedes

The thing is, because it was three of us we just played, we're like, okay, we're just going to have amazing lesbian sex and you're going to play your video game. And it worked out just fine.

00:34:42:00 - 00:34:50:22

Luna

So you're figuring out polyamory and whether or not it's for you. What are the parts that are appealing to you, and what are the parts that don't work for you? So far.

00:34:51:00 - 00:35:13:00

Mercedes

The parts that are appealing for me is the loving and creating deep connection with the people. The parts that don't work for me or is that I have issues around trust. With my very first partner, we were open because they were very honest and me like my poly. I want to be your partner and I want you to be my girlfriend, but I'm poly and I'm really be wanting to see other people.

00:35:13:00 - 00:35:33:03

Mercedes

And I'm like, I understand that at the time I was like, I'm already too, man, I get it. But my boundary was with other partners. It was protected sex. I would bonded with that partner and they disrespected that boundary and was having unprotected sex with another partner. And that's actually the first time I got tested because I was so scared and so upset.

00:35:33:05 - 00:35:49:21

Mercedes

And that's why we broke up. And it took a lot of like talking and trust for us to be able to like, talk and be okay with each other. That crushed me after that, like trust violation. Like I was like, can we close this for like just a little bit so we can try to rebuild it? And they weren't willing to do that.

00:35:49:21 - 00:35:52:00

Mercedes

And that really fucking hurt.

00:35:52:01 - 00:35:53:02

Luna

Yeah.

00:35:53:04 - 00:36:05:08

Mercedes

It hadn't been an issue for me until that. Like there was like one rule within one boundary we had set up. Yeah, everything else was fair game and they violated that. And that hurt so much.

00:36:05:10 - 00:36:29:15

Luna

I think it's really wise to have a strong boundary around health and safety stuff. And that has also I've had the exact same reason for relationships ending, and I know how painful that is. In your perfect world, are there other forms of like trust and communication and clarity that I know we talked a little bit about, like your safety as a submissive specifically, but it sounds like I'm hearing clear communication.

00:36:29:15 - 00:36:36:13

Luna

I'm hearing trust around the physical stuff. What else lays the foundation for a really sexy time with someone?

00:36:36:15 - 00:37:04:19

Mercedes

I think having hobbies that you have in common with someone. I like doing activities with partners. I really like going swing dancing and I was able to invite a partner to go swing dancing with me. Now it's so hot and so fantastic. So like someone who's creative and artistic in like, music and art and dance, I feel like that also builds more trust and love for me that like if there's common ground in common love and interest, even if we aren't interested in the same ways, we're somewhat involved in each other's lives.

00:37:05:01 - 00:37:12:03

Mercedes

Because I'm a sappy person and I like getting to know people because that builds so much connection and love. For me personally.

00:37:12:05 - 00:37:25:11

Luna

I hear you call yourself a sappy person, and I was just about to be like, you sound really like artistic and sensitive and intuitive. And then hearing, I think I'm hearing that music and dance are a part of your turn on. Did I get that right?

00:37:25:13 - 00:37:26:17

Mercedes

Yeah, definitely.

00:37:26:19 - 00:37:28:12

Luna

What are the details of that?

00:37:28:14 - 00:37:49:15

Mercedes

I can't explain it. Like there's some songs that I'm like, this is so, so sexy. Like to nominate Dirty Computer album dance is also connected so deeply into your body. So if you have someone, if someone's a good dancer and if someone is comfortable enough in their body to dance or to dance with me, they're going to be good in bed.

00:37:49:17 - 00:38:01:07

Luna

I also just like love the idea of swing dancing. I want to take dance lessons this year, and when I hear you talk about it, I'm like, because then they'd be touching you. But I can't have them in dance class. But maybe I can have sex with them later. Or if I don't have sex with them that night, I really want it.

00:38:01:07 - 00:38:20:11

Mercedes

It's also different because, like, I'll go swing dancing with my friends and it's a completely different feeling. This is awesome. We're having fun. But then I brought a date to swing dance and over to. I love that my friend was also there, and she's much better than I am. And all the guys, they're constantly asking her to dance, and she just looked at me when I was with my dance across the dancer and like, winked at me.

00:38:20:11 - 00:38:25:18

Mercedes

I was like, And I was like.

00:38:25:19 - 00:38:31:00

Luna

You mentioned also that you have at least one vanilla partner right now. How is that for you?

00:38:31:01 - 00:38:57:14

Mercedes

She wants to do cake stuff, but whenever he suggests that, I'm like, do your research first, honey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I told him that I, like, broke stuff, and he's like, great, can I tie you up? And I'm like, no, you got to do some research. And he like, took that pretty well. But like, it's like, I'd rather just you stick to your skill set until you've, like, read some books or went to some classes or at least watched some YouTube videos.

00:38:57:20 - 00:39:13:22

Mercedes

Other thing is, like the vanilla sex that we're having is very satisfying for me and him. So I'm like, if you're a beginner at kink, I don't want to bring that in. I'm like, mess up this good vibe that we have because I feel like I'm the first partner who's ever had. It would be like, maybe fun for him, but not so fun for me.

00:39:13:22 - 00:39:16:11

Mercedes

And I don't need to be someone's experimental thing.

00:39:16:17 - 00:39:31:13

Luna

I hear that so loud and clear, and I know that this is not everyone's experience. I've now talked to several people who like, if I like them, I'll train them enough and I'm like, totally get that. In my own life. I don't have teaching energy for my private life.

00:39:31:15 - 00:39:42:12

Mercedes

Also, I know that if I could be like, I'll show you how to tie me up by tying him up if he was comfortable with me tying him up, it'd be a different story because that's a boundary for him. I'm like, okay, like then watch some YouTube videos.

00:39:42:12 - 00:39:59:08

Luna

Could do your homework. I may have recently told the date that I suspected that he might have to do a lot of homework before playing together in the ways that we were discussing could be satisfying. You know, I need someone to know what subspace is, because if they don't know what subgroup is, then that's scary for me. Okay, tell us more about your kinky self.

00:39:59:08 - 00:40:08:06

Luna

Like what parts haven't we've learned a little bit about your top self and a little bit about your legs. What you brought self. But like what is juicy and delicious? It sounds like you have rope skills.

00:40:08:08 - 00:40:15:10

Mercedes

I can make a handcuff and I can tie someone's legs and arms, but I would not say rope skills. I have like.

00:40:15:12 - 00:40:19:16

Luna

Even a single column tie as a rope skill. That's what they teach you at the first workshop.

00:40:19:18 - 00:40:41:10

Mercedes

That's true. My favorite thing to do is I have a belt that I can tie, like pretty loose cuffs so my partner can move their hands a little bit, but then there's still a tail, and I can either be like eating them out or sucking their dick, or be on top of them, and I can pull the rope back and forth so I can pull them up or down with my partner.

00:40:41:10 - 00:40:56:16

Mercedes

Then I'm able to be more kinky with that. I'm more dominant in that relationship. I tied it loose enough that he could get out of them if he wanted to, and I was eating him out, and if he could get out of them, then he could touch me. But if I caught him trying to get out of them, I would tighten them.

00:40:56:18 - 00:41:03:20

Mercedes

And so when he eventually got it out of them, he just like, grabbed my boobs. Cute. Hot. That was really fun.

00:41:03:22 - 00:41:26:04

Luna

Wow. I love hearing you say that you are having so much fun in the vanilla sex you're having with another partner that, like, you don't necessarily need to bring King into it. I too am a person. I'm like, look, I'm definitely kinky, I love kink, I don't want to live a life without kink. And I would rather like find the highest overlap of a partner if there's attraction earlier.

00:41:26:06 - 00:41:35:17

Luna

Can you speak a little bit to like what some of your favorite, like vanilla sensations or experiences are? Or just I just want to hear more like love. And I love that exists in all realms.

00:41:35:18 - 00:41:54:11

Mercedes

I just, I love making out with someone and having them either sit in my lap or me sitting in their lap, and your legs are kind of intertwined. There's nothing like so close about that. I also love when my partners. I think it's just a sensory thing. Full weight is on me like a weighted blanket. I want us to partner just so like you just put your full weight on me.

00:41:54:14 - 00:42:09:20

Mercedes

Yeah, it was like midday. We're fully close. We're just watching you two. I was like, what? I was like, just put your full weight on me. And I was like. And was like. I was like. Like a weighted blanket. Yeah. Like, oh, okay. But what? That hurt. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, because it's just being completely crushed.

00:42:09:20 - 00:42:10:16

Mercedes

Feels so nice.

00:42:10:19 - 00:42:15:02

Luna

I'm on the bed. Or do you like it on the couch or like, where were you on the floor?

00:42:15:04 - 00:42:18:03

Mercedes

Bed? Couch. Just full weight on me. Feels amazing.

00:42:18:03 - 00:42:24:13

Luna

I love that too. Yeah, I always have to convince people. I'm like, there's an attraction to bigness. Like, please squish me.

00:42:24:15 - 00:42:34:08

Mercedes

Yeah, literally. I used to hesitate. One partner would be like, sit on my face, like, sit on my face. And I'd be like, I want to crush you right now. I'm like, please, that makes sense. I understand it now. So nice.

00:42:34:08 - 00:42:41:07

Luna

What about you mentioned liking hickeys. Do you still like them and do you enjoy other kinds of marks? Giving and or receiving?

00:42:41:09 - 00:42:51:00

Mercedes

I love you so, especially on my breasts. Because then that's a more private thing just for me. And I can like I love showing like progress photos of like them healing to my partner.

00:42:51:02 - 00:42:52:07

Luna

Very hot.

00:42:52:09 - 00:43:04:16

Mercedes

If I'm feeling like really bold I like the ones on the front of my neck. That's like super obvious. But I also like the ones that I can like hide with my hair. If I have my hair down and I can like put my hair back and see a little bit of it, I like biting a lot too.

00:43:04:18 - 00:43:14:01

Mercedes

I like but teeth marks the same partner who I did like the elaborate scene with was really into By the Hand. I was like, I'm a masochist, go crazy.

00:43:14:03 - 00:43:16:11

Luna

The partner that did the drawing on you and the wax.

00:43:16:13 - 00:43:21:03

Mercedes

Yeah, my breasts are like black and blue and it was fucking fantastic.

00:43:21:05 - 00:43:29:23

Luna

Oh my God, would you ever have someone do like, a hickey slash bite mark design on you? That's almost like a temporary tattoo. That would be really cool.

00:43:29:23 - 00:43:37:14

Mercedes

I was like, I even told him I was like, I need to be symmetrical for me. I was like, move on to this breast because I wanted to be vague with symmetrical. I love.

00:43:37:14 - 00:43:41:19

Luna

That. What other sensations does your body love receiving?

00:43:41:21 - 00:43:58:05

Mercedes

I really like my hair being played with and pulled, but also just like, you know, someone running their finger. So my hair feels really nice. There's like a part kind of above my breast. There's like, there must be just nerve endings right here in your chest or there's like a chalk right here or something. Because right there, there's like an energy.

00:43:58:09 - 00:43:59:11

Mercedes

It feels really nice to have.

00:43:59:15 - 00:44:01:18

Luna

Like, like upper sternum.

00:44:01:20 - 00:44:16:07

Mercedes

The sternum, my breasts, obviously bulwark because of course, that's where all the nice nerve endings are in my thighs. The most sensitive place, I think, is like, if someone grabs my waist, I will just, like, absolutely melt your arm.

00:44:16:09 - 00:44:19:10

Luna

Do you like, like a one arm scoop around or do you like a two hand?

00:44:19:15 - 00:44:22:20

Mercedes

If it's two hand is the like, yo.

00:44:22:22 - 00:44:28:02

Luna

What if they're grabby? Is it like grabbing you while fucking or can one lead to the other? Is it all of it?

00:44:28:04 - 00:44:42:14

Mercedes

All of it grabbing one fucking grabbing before fucking. If it's a partner that I trust to touch me. Because once I trust someone, I'm like, you can touch me anywhere, everywhere you want to. If I have that kind of trust with someone, they can. Just like, even if it's just like we're going shopping together or we're waiting for the bus stop.

00:44:42:14 - 00:44:49:08

Mercedes

If they just like that small part, I'm just like, oh, yeah. Amazing.

00:44:49:10 - 00:44:52:04

Luna

Where do you like to touch partners the best.

00:44:52:06 - 00:44:59:01

Mercedes

I'm a sucker for a neck, I love necks. I also really like touching right here on the cheek because it makes people sleepy and calm down.

00:44:59:05 - 00:45:03:03

Luna

What? Wait. This is new knowledge to me. What? Well, how do you do it?

00:45:03:05 - 00:45:15:09

Mercedes

Like, right here by the ear. Kind of like top of the temple. The soft. It feels really nice. It's not necessarily like a sexual attraction. It's more like a sensual pressure of like, if a partner or a friend has had a hard day.

00:45:15:11 - 00:45:16:16

Luna

It's very intimate.

00:45:16:18 - 00:45:33:15

Mercedes

Yeah, it's super intimate. I love bodies in general, I love butts. If a partner likes having their butt touched, I like slapping and grabbing and touching one butt spots are fantastic. I still love telling this men that they have good asses because a lot of times they've never heard it. They'll be like, oh yeah, I thank you.

00:45:33:15 - 00:45:38:21

Luna

And I'm like, yeah, totally. Are you into butts in the literal sense?

00:45:38:23 - 00:45:58:01

Mercedes

I've tried butt plug, but I like that, and I think I'd be more willing for me to pay someone then to for someone to do anal on me. Okay. But I'm also fascinated by, you know, it just it would have to be like a long term partner that I've been playing with for a while that I really trusted because I don't know why, but that's so terrifying to me.

00:45:58:01 - 00:46:01:02

Mercedes

Which is weird because, like, having a butt plug in my back feels good and like.

00:46:01:03 - 00:46:11:03

Luna

Yeah, but it doesn't make its own lubrication. And if someone's going to go near or in my ass, they need to know what's happening with acids and how they work and how they don't work. You know.

00:46:11:05 - 00:46:22:08

Mercedes

I also, because I'm young, the times I've talked about, I've been playing with anal. What's been people who haven't done anal with other partners before. I'm like, we can't both be beginners. One of us has to have some sort of knowledge.

00:46:22:10 - 00:46:50:10

Luna

I think if the one who is in the position of giving the anal is a big research nerd, you know, I just read a whole chapter on anal fisting and I'm curious and I, you know, I'm not rushing anything direction, but I'm just like, oh, wow, it's all about just relaxation, you know, because actually, this chapter said specifically, you got to be careful with masochists and anal because if someone likes pain, that can cause some big problems because it's not supposed to hurt like you're supposed to be really relaxed.

00:46:50:12 - 00:47:00:02

Luna

I would love to hear more about, like, what masochist pains you enjoy receiving, and if you also enjoy giving pains beyond like slaps. As a sadist.

00:47:00:04 - 00:47:20:20

Mercedes

Masochist pain I enjoy. I really like biting. I really like grabbing. I like being like thrown around because I don't often feel small in my life. I'm a pretty confident person. I'm tall, I'm loud, I'm pretty confident. So I don't often feel small. So for partner, like physically pick me up and put me on the bed or like shake me around a little bit.

00:47:20:20 - 00:47:46:10

Mercedes

That's so hot to me. I like being choked a lot, especially if it's with someone who, like, does it sort of like in a rhythmic way where there's like sort of a predictability into the like push and release of their pain? That's a lot to me. My favorite thing is my hair being pulled while being doggy style. And like, if my partner will sort of like either grab my ass or hit my ass and lift my head up to sort of check in on me and if I'm okay.

00:47:46:10 - 00:47:49:00

Mercedes

So shut my head back into the pillows.

00:47:49:02 - 00:47:58:22

Luna

Okay. You mentioned a little bit. Obviously that has a lot of sensitive parts, but I would love to know the pleasure points of your pussy. Like what really gets you going? What gets you off.

00:47:59:00 - 00:48:23:12

Mercedes

My clit, I'd say is medium sensitive. You do kind of have to warm up for her to get going. My G-spot is close to the entrance of the vagina, and so having something go in and out and touching, that feels fantastic. Nice. I think like the hardest I'll ever come is if I have sensation both inside and outside.

00:48:23:12 - 00:48:34:04

Mercedes

I love the dual sensation. I have a vibrator that also has a little though that's attached to it. Feels like a rabbit and then like a dick. Yeah, the dick goes inside, the rabbit goes on my Clinton. That comes so hard.

00:48:34:09 - 00:48:35:13

Luna

Amazing.

00:48:35:15 - 00:48:41:10

Mercedes

Or I'll touch myself. And then, like, even if I stick, like 1 or 2 fingers inside, I'll come so much harder than if I'm just touching my clit.

00:48:41:16 - 00:48:49:12

Luna

Yeah, I have days where that's true for me, and I have days where the inside part is, like, not helping at all. And I'm like, yeah, you don't make any sense.

00:48:49:14 - 00:49:02:12

Mercedes

Exactly. I find there's like two, I think, nerve bundles on either side of my clit, that if I rub in a circle with even just two fingers, it feels like really cool. There's that. I think it come just run that nice.

00:49:02:13 - 00:49:05:04

Luna

That like a lighter pressure. Is it medium or does it build throughout?

00:49:05:04 - 00:49:21:14

Mercedes

I like will start off pretty hard pressure to wear myself up and then once it gets really sensitive I'll go lighter and then it's like electricity. Cool. My nipples are super sensitive. I love having multiple sucked. I love having them touched. They're just so incredibly sensitive.

00:49:21:16 - 00:49:25:14

Luna

Will they ever make an orgasm. Not that that's the goal. No I'm just okay.

00:49:25:19 - 00:49:27:10

Mercedes

That'd be something cool to explore.

00:49:27:15 - 00:49:38:18

Luna

Awesome. So much to experiment with okay so what is on your horizon. Like what else do you want to explore or explore more deeply. Like what sort of fantasies are inspiring you?

00:49:38:20 - 00:49:46:22

Mercedes

This is an out there fantasy. You bought it one day. I want to be able to train with the dominatrix, because being able to do that professionally would be so amazing.

00:49:47:00 - 00:49:47:13

Luna

00:49:47:18 - 00:49:56:12

Mercedes

So being able to apprentice even in a dungeon would be so cool. I want to get better at root, I want to take some shrubbery classes that we have online. Fuck yeah.

00:49:56:17 - 00:50:14:21

Luna

And our guest today is an 18 year old white says of him who was raised atheist, is now a practicing witch, and is kinky, queer, bisexual and a drag king. She's been in several poly relationships so far and is figuring out if she's actually poly or not. Is currently single, and having different kinds of sex with several partners.

00:50:15:02 - 00:50:32:05

Luna

A switch slash masochist slash sadist. She love love loves power dynamics, public play, making out and eating pussy from the Pacific Northwest. She has her associates in arts and is working on a BA. Loves to cook, dance and collaborate with friends on parody music videos. Welcome, Mercedes.

00:50:32:07 - 00:50:34:03

Mercedes

Hi. Well thank you for having me on.

00:50:34:05 - 00:50:45:06

Luna

I'm so excited that you're here. Can you please start out by telling us if you had to rate yourself on a sexual shame meter from one being super shameless to ten being so full of shame, where do you feel right now?

00:50:45:08 - 00:50:55:00

Mercedes

Like at three? Because I'm home for the holidays. Usually you'd be like a 1 or 2, but just because of the fact that I've been around like my parents and my aunts, it's just like not a sexy space, a.

00:50:55:00 - 00:51:10:18

Luna

Totally feel you on that. I got home from my family holiday travels yesterday and realized I was like, I haven't touched myself in days. What am I doing? Is that how it manifests for you? Are there like other things that come up? Yeah. Okay. Can you give us a little overview of what your sex life is like right now?

00:51:10:19 - 00:51:29:02

Mercedes

So I'm in college, so I've been having a blast meeting people through Tinder and just person one of my partners right now, I met through my friend because he lives on the same floor as my friend and another one of my partners. My dorms are set up as like apartments. They're called stacks or literally a couple stacks down.

00:51:29:02 - 00:51:30:16

Mercedes

So that's been nice.

00:51:30:18 - 00:51:36:06

Luna

It seems very convenient. Do you still have an active sex life with your own self, or is it mostly partnered right now?

00:51:36:08 - 00:51:52:20

Mercedes

Oh, it definitely active on my own. So I don't have a roommate right now, which is really nice. So I've been taking care of myself. Okay. Yeah. Even when I am having lots of partner sex, masturbation is still like really important to just keeping everything balanced energetically. For myself, I.

00:51:52:22 - 00:52:08:07

Luna

Totally get that. I also feel like I get hornier if I'm having partnered sex. I mean, I still masturbate most of the time anyway. I guess unless I'm like hanging out with family hardcore for holidays. But yeah, I feel you. Okay. Tell us now what you love most about your sex life currently.

00:52:08:09 - 00:52:33:16

Mercedes

Probably just that it's so different. Like I'm a switch and I'm bisexual and so I get so much variety by sleeping with different kinds of people. Like, I'm in sort of like a dumb sub relationship with someone where I'm more dominant and then I'm having just like, I guess you'd say regular vanilla ish heterosexual sex with another person, which is like so fascinating.

00:52:33:16 - 00:52:44:06

Mercedes

And I love all the different textures, and I love getting to like, please, different kinds of partners. I love all the variety we do. I'm a Gemini, I'm a Gemini. I love the variety. I love the excitement.

00:52:44:08 - 00:52:54:02

Luna

Oh that's great. Yeah. I mean, it's like, let me let me learn this lesson. Learned that. Let me research this. So do tell us what is sexy to you. I'm hearing variety of sexy. I'm hearing pleasing partners is sexy.

00:52:54:02 - 00:53:12:15

Mercedes

What else is like a tingle that I feel in my chest? It can even be like a good cup of coffee. You like. Or taking a shower and like the steam and your your hair is wet and you're just like, I feel great. Yeah, it's an energetic pulsing that comes from like my chest all the way down. It's like, oh, this is fantastic.

00:53:12:17 - 00:53:28:23

Mercedes

I love someone who can make me laugh and who I can like, debate and talk with. I love adventurous people, and I love people who are open because I love learning about their lives and hearing their stories. That's really cool to me. Are like open in adventurous people.

00:53:29:00 - 00:53:45:10

Luna

I really connect with that. I feel like the sex that I have with people who are more open leads to a different texture of connection, which I really appreciate, especially because I love actually tasting the different variety instead of like a closed person. It's different for me. So when do you feel sexiest?

00:53:45:12 - 00:54:11:06

Mercedes

The sexiest I felt in a long time was I had a partner stay over in my dorm, and I had to go to work in the morning and like, we'd been like fucking all night till like 1 or 2. And then I was like, oh shit, I have to go to work. And my partner stayed over and he was just like, passed out, snoring, getting ready for work, like really quietly and like sneaking out the door and texting him like, good morning, sleep.

00:54:11:06 - 00:54:16:13

Mercedes

As long as you need to. It was just I would speed test. It was the best feeling. Yeah.

00:54:16:15 - 00:54:28:20

Luna

You're offering me in my mind. Bring a texture of like is part of that for you? Like the going out of like it's like your little secret. Like there's still someone in my bed, like, now. But I'm open about doing my life now.

00:54:28:22 - 00:54:38:16

Mercedes

Exactly. Like, I might be super sleep deprived, but, like, I just had amazing sex. Yeah, and the sex is so good. There's a partner snoring at my bed.

00:54:38:18 - 00:54:43:09

Luna

Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. And sometimes, even if I'm a little bit sore, too, I'm like, I'm the reminder.

00:54:43:11 - 00:54:46:20

Mercedes

Exactly. No, there's nothing better than having, like, freshly.