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40 queer cis male, hedonist, switch.

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00:00:00:07 - 00:00:17:09

Luna

Our guest today is a 40 year old queer cis male. He is extremely solo poly with a few partners, a hedonist and a switch who is currently deeply exploring service dancing and living an integrated kinky lifestyle. A leather worker and a musician from Austin, Texas. Welcome, Delaney.

00:00:17:11 - 00:00:19:14

Delaney

Hey. Hey.

00:00:19:16 - 00:00:30:21

Luna

Can you start off by telling our listeners if you had to treat yourself on a sexual shame, a meter with ten being the most full of shame and one being no shame at all. Where do you fall right now?

00:00:30:23 - 00:00:32:01

Delaney

Hard one.

00:00:32:03 - 00:00:37:07

Luna

I like it not just the one, but a hard one. Can you tell us about your hard won, please?

00:00:37:09 - 00:00:59:01

Delaney

Well, now that I got your consent, I would love to tell you about my hard won that you might get into later. But raised in a very religious home. Shame is a very familiar thing. And so being able to work through that, being very aware of how much shame I'm feeling and the work that I've done to get to where I'm at, it's like shame has no place in my life.

00:00:59:01 - 00:01:02:22

Delaney

I have enough things to weigh me down. I'm going to be happy with who I am.

00:01:03:00 - 00:01:09:08

Luna

Totally love that. Can you give us a little overview of what your sex life is like right now, and your favorite parts?

00:01:09:10 - 00:01:15:06

Delaney

So it's experimental. It's fun. It's lively.

00:01:15:07 - 00:01:16:16

Luna

Yeah. You have lots of partners.

00:01:16:18 - 00:01:41:21

Delaney

I have many partners. So I mean, and the beautiful thing about that is we get to do different things with different people, and having one partner, even that is sexual. And so we get to be sexy with each other on an emotional level. And I love that so much because to me, that can be sex. Also, just like really integrating with somebody on a mental level and having that mental connection is huge.

00:01:42:00 - 00:02:02:19

Delaney

Just watching a horror movie together and geeking out on makeup and different things can be great. But I can also have the extreme of one of my other partners who's into edge playing, like really getting having a little story of one of my favorite stories. About a month ago, we went and watched a movie and then, played in the car and made her walk around the parking lot naked.

00:02:02:19 - 00:02:26:22

Delaney

And she's into that stuff, and we did crazy outdoor stuff. It was very private, so we knew nobody was going to see. So very consensual. They're not making sure that nobody was going to see. But sex life is fun. Sex life is great. Honestly, I wouldn't change it. I think the most enjoyable thing is giving pleasure in seeing people in pleasure, like especially somebody enjoying what I'm doing to them is like the best thing in the world.

00:02:26:22 - 00:02:50:02

Delaney

More sexiest thing. The first time I ever did play with somebody. I was very nervous, very on wanting to do like get anybody that way, but I could see how much she was into it. And because of that, that made me want to get into the world of impact play. The more so just that process of doing something that somebody is consenting to receive from me is the best thing in the world.

00:02:50:04 - 00:02:53:23

Luna

Amazing. Okay. When do you feel the sexiest?

00:02:54:01 - 00:03:01:15

Delaney

For some reason, when I get out of the shower, just being clean and naked is like a fun thing. I don't know why. Water in general. For me, I don't know why.

00:03:01:17 - 00:03:20:08

Luna

Did you know that? Ophelia? It's aqua philia. So I've been organizing and creating my whole bucket list, which has been a gigantic project underway since April. But Aqua, literally, I was like, I want to find someone who's turned on by water and sometimes swimsuits. Have you fucked in the water? I'm getting ahead.

00:03:20:08 - 00:03:21:18

Delaney

Into. Oh, yes. Okay. Oh, yes.

00:03:21:21 - 00:03:26:08

Luna

Does water turn you on itself or is it more being clean, do you think? Or is it like droplets?

00:03:26:10 - 00:03:53:12

Delaney

No, it's definitely like water itself, which is funny because like, so as a small, small child, there was two separate instances where I almost drowned. And so I grew up very afraid of water. And I still kind of and skittish around it. But I also have like this love of water and like marine life, but yeah, fucking in water, the shower pools, whatever is, is the best thing in the world.

00:03:53:14 - 00:03:54:06

Delaney

I love it.

00:03:54:07 - 00:03:57:09

Luna

Love that. Okay. When else do you feel sexy when you get out of the shower?

00:03:57:10 - 00:04:19:12

Delaney

When else? I feel like there's so many instances. Oh, great. Also, like, you know, if I'm with one of my partners and they're really vibing off of what I'm putting out, either just talking to them or physically having contact and they're vibing off of that. That definitely makes me feel sexy. Like, man, we're into this. They want to be here with me.

00:04:19:17 - 00:04:25:08

Delaney

They want me to do this to them. They're giving their time to speak with me like that's amazing. Yeah.

00:04:25:10 - 00:04:32:20

Luna

Okay. You also kind of answered this question already, but I want to see if you have anything else to say about it. What else counts as sex for you?

00:04:32:22 - 00:05:02:01

Delaney

So sex to me is connecting with somebody on a deeper level where you're fully engaged emotionally and nothing is left out, where basically you're laid bare. Obviously there's a disconnect there because like, you can do that with non-sexual, like you don't you're not attracted sexually to somebody. You can kind of lay bare there. But there's that that extra little piece there where like you're you're attracted to each other.

00:05:02:03 - 00:05:03:06

Luna

Like an agreement.

00:05:03:08 - 00:05:03:20

Delaney

Yeah.

00:05:03:23 - 00:05:10:00

Luna

Like there's like erotic energetic agreement is part of it, if that's what I'm picking up in your articulation.

00:05:10:02 - 00:05:30:03

Delaney

It definitely is. It definitely is. And that is definitely a mething that is when I have really good, deep conversations, especially with somebody like, I automatically just want to be like, I want to know this person where I want to connect. I want to get deeper into me. That is so sexy. Just minds and brains and diving in all that stuff.

00:05:30:03 - 00:05:46:20

Delaney

So good. And then, of course, penetrative stuff and everything else that people like, but also I think bondage play is sex because you can do that and not have penetrative sex. I think sex can be whatever the person wants it to be, as long as it's fun, consensual, and not hurting anybody.

00:05:47:00 - 00:06:03:10

Luna

Beautiful. That is a great answer, and I love because it makes space for all of the people in the kinky world I've met who was like, I do this as an art. How dare you think that I'm erotically attracted to you? Which was something that you know, I didn't know about until researching and finding that out. So love that.

00:06:03:10 - 00:06:04:04

Luna

Love that.

00:06:04:06 - 00:06:04:22

Delaney

Totally.

00:06:05:00 - 00:06:15:05

Luna

Now, did you ever get an explicit health and safety conversation from any adults in your life or lesson on consent helmet sex?

00:06:15:07 - 00:06:43:07

Delaney

Okay, that's a hard ten. Yeah. I mean, as a matter of fact, I remember being very young. So prefaces probably with many of my stories. My dad is a Baptist preacher. So, so heads up there. Okay. Yeah. So I grew up in a very religious home, but there was multiple times as a kid where things happened, like a friend would drop a condom, and I had no idea what it was and would just get made fun of and or something would happen on TV and I'd be like, what's that?

00:06:43:09 - 00:07:06:06

Delaney

And just like, nothing. So no, it was all like self-discovery, you know, just like randomly having a boner one day because I'm a human boy. And what is this? Oh, that feels good. Okay, cool. And then discovering a Playboy magazine in my sister's room and seeing nudity for the first time and discovering that. So, I mean, that was my only interaction with sex.

00:07:06:10 - 00:07:22:11

Delaney

So no real interaction of like, hey, this is the birds and beads. This is what consent is. Honestly, I don't even think the consent talk was really big until probably 15 years ago or so. I mean, you can go into college and stuff, you know, depends with people.

00:07:22:11 - 00:07:37:00

Luna

Like really depends of people. Yeah. Okay. Well, contrasting that in your adult life. Could you give us an example of one time where you set a very clear yes to something sexy that led to an awesome experience? I suspect you have lots of them since you.

00:07:37:05 - 00:07:39:01

Delaney

Are key person and we just.

00:07:39:03 - 00:07:41:13

Luna

Discovered. But like, can you pick one out for us?

00:07:41:15 - 00:08:06:10

Delaney

There used to be these pool parties here in Austin for poly kinky people for me, and one of my partners went at the time and met a person that I had already talked to on set life before, and we were hanging out all in the pool and I was like, man, I'm really attracted this person. So first went to my partner was like, hey, I know we're going to open, but like, I just want to make sure if anything happens, we're cool tonight.

00:08:06:12 - 00:08:23:06

Delaney

She was like, yes, please. It'd be really fun to watch you too. I was like, cool. So got that consent and then went over that person and was like, hey, you want to make out? And she was like, fuck yes! That was definitely like alias consent, right? And so started doing that. And of course it's a movable thing.

00:08:23:06 - 00:08:40:23

Delaney

Just because she wants to make out it doesn't mean I can finger her. Yeah. Doesn't mean digits can go anywhere, don't mean anything else. Right. So and to me, consent is foreplay because it's so fun just to talk about that. I'm already like a party person, right? So it's like, let's just fucking talk about this. Like, oh, you want to feel fingers inside you?

00:08:40:23 - 00:08:56:07

Delaney

Oh, you want this? Oh, you like your husband? Okay, you like that and then like that. Just like, builds everything up. And that was definitely a fun time to get some movable consent and have a really fun sex party in pool.

00:08:56:09 - 00:09:12:05

Luna

I also just love that you highlighted how consent can just be dirty talk foreplay. Like that's the best part. It's so hot. Okay, now tell us what, if anything happens to your shame a meter when it's time to talk to a new partner about safer sex?

00:09:12:07 - 00:09:40:00

Delaney

No, no shame there. I get. Well, probably eight years ago or so was the only time I contracted STI. I was chlamydia, so taking medicine and it's gone right. But there's definitely some shame there if I have to talk about that. Just like, oh, I did something wrong, I fucked up and didn't wear a condom. I did this or that because also with being a slut, I can't claim to be a slut.

00:09:40:02 - 00:09:58:19

Delaney

Oh, you can make some rash decisions sometimes as I did so, but it's owning that and it's like getting over it. But yeah, I mean I think that's just my own. So maybe the shame would pop up to like a four, but it's like, I know that I have to talk about it. I know that it's not something that would affect anybody right now.

00:09:58:21 - 00:10:08:12

Delaney

And I'm definitely all about every six months getting checked. If I'm even more active, it's every three months. Yeah. And I work in a place that I can get free checked out. So it makes it easy.

00:10:08:14 - 00:10:15:18

Luna

Fuck yes, I love that. Do you have like an ideal way for that conversation to go in your mind?

00:10:15:20 - 00:10:42:20

Delaney

As you said, a top? I'm 40 years old. I don't really have a lot of patience for just like, bullshit when it comes to relationships. And so I like to be just straightforward. And so in that of like, yeah, let's have a date or two. I love day dates also, and not just like I'm we're going to go out to dinner or movies, but like, no, let's like hang out and get to know each other because like, why waste each other's time if we're not going to go anywhere?

00:10:43:00 - 00:11:11:06

Delaney

So let's get to know each other. Let's see how we talk together, things like that. So I wrap the SDI sad talk up in what we want to see and the relationship do. I also have this like 200? It wasn't mine. I adopted it from other kinky people in the scene here. But like this 200 questionnaire that asked people what their kinks are and what they consent to and don't consent to and want to move that and what they've tried, but they don't want to try it.

00:11:11:06 - 00:11:14:08

Delaney

So I kind of like laid everything out. It's probably way too much.

00:11:14:12 - 00:11:27:20

Luna

I love that that's the type of stuff that like, I think about all the time, and then I try to implement it and I don't have any examples. And so that I'm like a, you know, an overwhelming to most people I've talked to person. But I think that's that's great personally.

00:11:27:22 - 00:11:47:18

Delaney

And it's a great conversation starter in the sense of like, I mean, how many times, no matter how comfortable we are, there's times where we just don't know how to convey what we need or want in the moment. Right? And so we could be wanting to be really experimental and try something. But it's been a long week and we don't know how to express that.

00:11:47:20 - 00:12:05:14

Delaney

So it could be like, cool, let's just pick something off of the list that you've consented for. Let's check back in, make sure you're still consented to it. And oh, I guess we're doing water sports this weekend. Here we go. I don't know, whatever. So but I wrap up all that kind of together. Yeah.

00:12:05:16 - 00:12:08:12

Luna

That's a great way to remove decision fatigue.

00:12:08:13 - 00:12:21:04

Delaney

Dude. Yes. Especially for folks like me that have to make decisions all day. I always joke with my partners like I've used my words. I have no more decisions anymore. It's just you pick, you pick.

00:12:21:06 - 00:12:43:10

Luna

Okay, I'm very excited to hear all about your kinky self. But first, take us back in time to your younger years. When do you first remember hearing about sex like you touched yourself? You had that boner. How old were you? You found the Playboy. What else? Like, was there anything before that at all? Just awareness wise, what happened in your sexual timeline?

00:12:43:12 - 00:13:11:11

Delaney

There definitely was real young, probably like five or so. I have older siblings. They were very young too. And this is something that I've worked through and trigger warning and stuff here. I don't believe it was any kind of malicious, like molestation or anything like that. I think it was just there were young teenagers experimenting with their bodies, and so it was like my two older sisters and myself not knowing what it was.

00:13:11:11 - 00:13:31:21

Delaney

Right. But it definitely turned me on to something that I didn't know what it was. But like, I was at a very young age already experimenting with boys like friends, that I would just, like go camp out at their houses and whatnot. But it wasn't. Yeah, until my early teens that I was like, oh, this is a boner.

00:13:31:21 - 00:13:52:08

Delaney

Oh, this is what a female form looks like. Okay, I see that, I see that okay, cool. It's kind of fun. I don't know if anybody else experiment like this. I feel like everybody like, oh, you're a boy. You masturbate, so you rub your cock. But for some reason, that wasn't a thing in my mind. And so I would literally just lay on my bed and hump my bed.

00:13:52:10 - 00:13:53:15

Delaney

Oh, yeah. That's how I got off.

00:13:53:20 - 00:14:00:16

Luna

Okay, which part of the bed? I've heard pillows. I've heard bed posts. I've heard couches, I've heard floors. But what part of the bed would you use?

00:14:00:18 - 00:14:21:12

Delaney

The corner. So, like, you could straddle the corner of your bed and go at it that way. And so yeah, it never occurred to me that, like, I could rub it with my hand. Yeah. And yeah, that's how I started. But that journey was very internal and I did not lose my virginity until I was like 23. Yeah, 23 years old.

00:14:21:14 - 00:14:29:09

Delaney

So right out of high school, I grew up in a private school, went to a Christian college very much on track to like, stay in that world.

00:14:29:14 - 00:14:31:19

Luna

Did you have to sign a virginity contract?

00:14:31:21 - 00:14:41:00

Delaney

Thankfully, I did not. Thankfully I did not. Yeah. Then I realized what the world was and all it has to offer and the beauty out there and started experimenting.

00:14:41:05 - 00:14:58:03

Luna

So before then, had you had any contact that you knew was sexual, like the in a sexual frame for yourself, which is, I think, distinct from the childlike curiosity of like, what is this thing that that's what I hear from most people. That was my own experience. Had you even fooled around with anyone kissing anyone or anything like that in your teen years?

00:14:58:05 - 00:14:58:17

Delaney

No.

00:14:58:19 - 00:15:01:13

Luna

Okay. What were the feelings like?

00:15:01:15 - 00:15:21:05

Delaney

Yeah, I was definitely attracted to people, male and female. Some of them, I mean, this is also back in like the 80s and 90s, so I'm sure non-binary was not really a thing that was being spoken. But there could have been, some days in terms in there, but just attracted to people in general. Yeah. No, actually there are a lot of fantasies about it.

00:15:21:05 - 00:15:25:20

Delaney

But yeah, no action until I got out of college, like halfway through college. Okay.

00:15:25:20 - 00:15:35:03

Luna

So the fantasy is did they come with like a restricted feeling of like, I'm not supposed to like this. And was there anything like that around your queerness or was it just like some day.

00:15:35:05 - 00:16:02:13

Delaney

Yeah. Oh most definitely. That was one of the things that began my, my journey outside of religion or leaving religion. Faith in general was just trying to sum up my feelings of like one of my first crushes of my high school best friend with what the Bible teaches and like trying to reconcile that has being like, wait, this doesn't feel wrong to me though.

00:16:02:13 - 00:16:20:05

Delaney

Like, yeah, this doesn't feel wrong to me. And you know, it's like, I know lions the sin. I know teens of sin. But those are so easy to be like, all right, I'm not going to cheat today. I'm going to be a good person. I'm not going to lie to this person. I'm going to own my mistake. But when it comes to loving somebody, it's like, this guy's really cool.

00:16:20:05 - 00:16:24:14

Delaney

I want to be with him. And yeah, other things. Yeah, that is.

00:16:24:14 - 00:16:27:05

Luna

Such a well-said point. Okay.

00:16:27:07 - 00:16:27:21

Delaney

Thank you.

00:16:27:23 - 00:16:35:02

Luna

So nothing none of the contact that a lot of young people feel. Okay. So you're in college even. Wow. That's incredible.

00:16:35:02 - 00:16:36:16

Delaney

Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

00:16:36:18 - 00:16:42:06

Luna

Was there fear or was it a choice? Like what was it? Give us the texture of your landscape, please.

00:16:42:08 - 00:17:09:08

Delaney

It was, I think, just a fear. It wasn't a fear of, like, insecurity, but a fear of the unknown. Yeah. Especially going that long not knowing. And it's like, what moves do I make? You know, I was also in that world surrounded by certain people that also probably would not be into what I would want to do. You know, being at a church, probably not a lot of dudes secretly being gay there, who knows?

00:17:09:08 - 00:17:20:01

Delaney

Well, yeah, you don't know me. So different. But even the female presenting people, you know, like, so I just never really went down that path.

00:17:20:03 - 00:17:29:17

Luna

Okay, so but then when did you and how did you. And also, in the meantime, should we talk about your masturbation since that, you know, I'm assuming you were still masturbating and you eventually move past the bed corner.

00:17:29:19 - 00:17:52:07

Delaney

Oh, definitely. Stay masturbating. I never have ever felt shame around that. Like those. Another aspect of like, I would always hear people like, I'm so, like, disappointed in myself for masturbating or watching porn or doing this. I'm like, man, that feels awesome. Why are you so upset about that? Like, yeah, if there is a guy, he gave me this and it's enjoyable and I'm not hurting anybody.

00:17:52:07 - 00:17:58:22

Delaney

So I don't hear angels dying every time sperm hits the ground. So I think I'm good.

00:17:59:00 - 00:18:06:21

Luna

Okay. Do you want to share with us? Where is your cock the most sensitive. What kind of grip do you use? Do you play with your balls? Do you ever touch your own asshole?

00:18:06:23 - 00:18:28:12

Delaney

Oh, fuck yeah, all the above. Yeah. I mean, butt plugs come in a lot. Dildos even, like simulating giving somebody's head is really fun. That's very much of a turn on. I love edge masturbating, so, like, being able to, like, if I have, like, 4 or 5 hours to kill, just, like, put on a movie, but also put on support.

00:18:28:12 - 00:18:49:21

Delaney

And I like to have multiple things going on. It's my ADHD. Like I can focus on multiple things and then just like edge and then just like really enjoy how big of a ejaculation I can create. Cool. But yeah, I like very firm grip. Balls are definitely very sensitive. I'll play with those and definitely exploring my body. I just love skin.

00:18:50:00 - 00:18:51:01

Delaney

I guess, I don't know.

00:18:51:02 - 00:19:03:13

Luna

Fuck yeah. And have you noticed any like sensitivity shifts over the years? Like because we have this period of young masturbation and we're about to get to your partner stuff has your penis changed over time?

00:19:03:15 - 00:19:18:00

Delaney

Probably the only difference is maybe like a stronger grip on it for more sensation maybe. Yeah, yeah. But there's also like more things that would turn me on where I don't have to, like, be playing with my penis. So. Yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean?

00:19:18:02 - 00:19:34:01

Luna

Yeah, I know what you mean. I know there's lots of good ways to have sensation, but I'm still the person is like, yeah, but if I'm going to give you the handjob, I want to know how to hold it. And it feels I just as a person who doesn't own a penis, I to this day still feel pretty insecure around handjobs even though I love touching them.

00:19:34:01 - 00:19:51:18

Luna

And I love playing and I love doing everything. But I notice because now I've started to ask people to show me how they touch themselves first. And there's so many different styles. But when I ask people, it doesn't come to mind necessarily to give the very specific details. But I notice a lot of nuance when I'm watching. So love it.

00:19:51:18 - 00:19:58:00

Luna

Okay, take us to your partner times. What was it like having your sexual debut? What led up to it? What came after?

00:19:58:02 - 00:20:24:09

Delaney

Yeah, so most of my sex until probably my 30s was outside of relationships. It was all like just cruising and one night stands and doing whatever. So my first time with a female body person was like at a random party, and I went to go to the restroom and they followed me and like, we should fucking like, all right.

00:20:24:11 - 00:20:30:00

Delaney

And that was my first thought. It was very weird, but it was fun and I was just into it.

00:20:30:02 - 00:20:32:03

Luna

You know? Bathroom. Where did you do it? Just at the.

00:20:32:03 - 00:21:03:21

Delaney

Party. Yeah. So no, she was. We set her on top of the vanity and it was like perfect height for me. So yeah, we just did it right there and then with a male bodied person back in the day, it was all on like Craigslist. There was no Grindr, growler or any apps. So it was all Craigslist, pretty much just finding people there and being really attracted to like older bears and just meeting up with random dudes.

00:21:03:23 - 00:21:23:21

Delaney

Side story. One of my favorite times that ever happened was getting to a hotel to meet somebody, and the whole way from the entrance of the hotel to the room there where I was walking to, there was a really hot guy following me. Like, what was going on? Come to find out, the guy in the room forgot to cancel on the other dude.

00:21:23:23 - 00:21:29:21

Delaney

And so we both showed up and so we had an impromptu threesome. It was great. It was a great I mean.

00:21:29:23 - 00:21:31:11

Luna

It was your first threesome.

00:21:31:13 - 00:21:43:12

Delaney

It was my first threesome. Yeah, it was also my first, like, too cocky, like big one came on my face, which I totally loved. It was really hot. So, like, it wasn't that a first for me? Yeah.

00:21:43:14 - 00:21:51:21

Luna

Oh my God, that's amazing. Okay, can you walk us through the moment of, like, when you realized that you were going to the same place, like, here's this hot dude, but, like, cool.

00:21:51:23 - 00:22:08:06

Delaney

Yeah. So, like, it wasn't like walking up was like, oh, he got off the same floor. Oh, he's coming down the same hallway. And, I stopped not at the door and turned and he's like, just staring at me. I'm like, oh, are we both here for this room? He's like, I think. So. I was like, are you cool with it?

00:22:08:08 - 00:22:27:02

Delaney

And he's like, I'm down. And the guy opens, so he goes, oh, I forgot to cancel it. I was like, well, I mean, we're both here. Let's just go. Let's do this. So there was definitely I mean, I said it very skillfully, but there was definitely like a few minutes. Yeah, I forgot there was like a second of awkwardness.

00:22:27:02 - 00:22:31:22

Delaney

And then we realized that we all have penises and we wanted to use them. Yeah.

00:22:32:03 - 00:22:41:06

Luna

Oh, fun. Wow. Did you already know that you were going to be into something like that? But coffee wise or what? Did it come up in the moment? Like, how did you get there?

00:22:41:08 - 00:23:03:15

Delaney

I've always been fascinated with bodily fluids. I wonder if that has to do with the water thing also. But even at an early age, I've always been eating my own ejaculate. And so when it comes to like that, obviously it's not very safe to just meet two strangers and fluid bond with them. But I really wanted to do that.

00:23:03:15 - 00:23:16:05

Delaney

And so I was like, oh, there's two of them here. How much better than like one if I have two loads on me? That's so hot. And so they like, jacked off on me while I jacked up myself. So it was great. Amazing.

00:23:16:06 - 00:23:25:23

Luna

Okay, what a beautiful start to partnership. What else do you remember from your 20s in that era? Like what were you discovering about your sexual self and were you kinky? I mean, I guess that's kind of kinky.

00:23:26:00 - 00:23:48:06

Delaney

Yeah. I mean, the age of like the internet becoming more prevalent. I grew up outside of Austin, so there wasn't where I grew up. I didn't have internet until probably like 2010 or something. So, I mean, even with that kind of stuff, very late bloomer. But so it was all just like experimenting. And the more I experimented, the more I wanted.

00:23:48:07 - 00:24:08:08

Delaney

Yeah, I mean, I would say I was kinky just because, like of what everything I wanted to do maybe 20 tens a long time. It was definitely before 2000. And let's back up. It was more like 2005, 2006. Okay. When I got the internet that that sounds better. That sounds better. Because, yeah, of course it was because of Craigslist is on the internet and you have to have a computer for that shit.

00:24:08:12 - 00:24:13:07

Luna

Well, but not necessarily your own one. Like I imagined you going to like the library and.

00:24:13:09 - 00:24:30:16

Delaney

Craigslist so safely. The thing that kept me out of trouble most was that I have a very analytical brain. And so any time I want to do something that's like possibly could get me in trouble, I come up with like scenario after scenario, and if I can't get in the way with any of them, I'm just like, all right, it's too much work.

00:24:30:16 - 00:24:33:06

Delaney

I'm not doing it again.

00:24:33:07 - 00:24:40:15

Luna

You seem very kinky now. And so I would love to just hear kind of like where your casual ish explorations led.

00:24:40:17 - 00:25:03:09

Delaney

When I started dating, I wasn't really mature enough to let my partners know what I wanted or how kicking I really was. And one reason that I went into the poly lifestyle is because I never wanted to cheat on anybody, but at the same time, I'd be dating a female body person who'd be like, I really miss chicken cock and I have dated male body persons, but that just felt weird.

00:25:03:09 - 00:25:33:07

Delaney

So I'd always say I'm bisexual, hetero romantic. And then the more I learned about myself, I was like, oh, those were just not the relationships for me. But it wasn't until 2014 I met a partner. This person. So off of that life, I just learned what that life was and went on and met this person. And we met at a bar and we started hanging out, and she kind of just taught me what the poly lifestyle was about, what the Bdsm kink lifestyle was about, and she was the person.

00:25:33:07 - 00:25:59:19

Delaney

Also, I got earlier that taught me about impact play, and it was just one of those things that as soon as I started learning about one thing, I wanted to just, like, totally take over and learn everything about it, and then the next thing and the next thing and the next thing, and I don't know if it's like just this inability to be satisfied, but I feel like once you learn one thing or once you experience a new kink, like you're like, all right, what's next on it?

00:25:59:19 - 00:26:18:23

Delaney

On something new, you know, like you're always like, looking for that new thing. Not to, like, downgrade or belittle any past experiences or I can't have vanilla sex now. I only can like cum when I'm choked out thing like, that's not it, right? It's like those are still beautiful. But now I just want to keep going and going and going so well.

00:26:18:23 - 00:26:43:01

Luna

Literally my version is I want to make sure I get to all the stuff that's like a little more complicated too. But I don't want to stop doing my favorites. And I really still like vanilla sex. Like, but I also really like kinky dynamics, because if someone is telling me or if I'm telling them, the confusion is less, and the part about like vanilla stuff is just the confusion, that's what I don't like.

00:26:43:04 - 00:26:59:19

Luna

I like the sensual aspect of the physical part of vanilla sex, the social assumptions that come with it. I find extremely difficult to navigate personally. So you had this partner that you met, did you already, like, know what you might be into at this point, like kink wise? Like did you have you had inklings?

00:26:59:21 - 00:27:16:15

Delaney

I had inklings and I started experimenting. The more I saw like had a phase where I wanted to wear panties all the time, and then it was just like, okay, I don't get it. I'm not into it anymore. But I still think it's like, really sexy if a man wears panties. Yeah, I'm just like, oh, it's not for me.

00:27:16:17 - 00:27:20:20

Luna

Tell us about that phase. It just ended one day. Did you wear them a lot?

00:27:20:22 - 00:27:51:02

Delaney

Not a whole lot. It was mainly like in sexy times or like those edging times I was talking about. But yeah, I think, a couple times a warm like out in about. And I was just like. And they're just not comfortable. I think it was mainly just because I also used to boxer briefs. Yes. And it was just like, this is something new, and I don't know if I'm in a place for something new, but like in the moment of like feeling sexy and of course, like Penneys are sexy, like they're lace or silk or even cotton can be really sexy.

00:27:51:07 - 00:27:56:19

Delaney

And so it feels completely different than like these plain gray Hanes that I might have. I, you know.

00:27:56:19 - 00:27:58:10

Luna

Totally, totally.

00:27:58:10 - 00:28:30:08

Delaney

Yeah. But I mean, that's kind of been the gist of my journey of, like, if I want to try something, I'm going to try it here we go. Let's try this, you know. Yeah. But yeah. So I mean, I had a lot of experimenting right before the set. Life partner I did have a five year serious relationship where I actually left music for a while because I was like, getting my 30s, and I wanted to be like, I need to be a real person and settle down and have a real job, get married and blah, blah, blah.

00:28:30:10 - 00:28:52:17

Delaney

And that was the dumbest thing ever, because that's not what my soul wanted, is not what my heart wanted. And so I basically was coming off of four years of being celibate because that person wanted to wait till we got married. And there was definitely like, make dry humping, but like, clothes never came off. Like, that was a hard line for her.

00:28:52:19 - 00:29:18:06

Delaney

Yeah, I loved her enough to be like, all right. Yeah, that's a thing that I'm okay with dealing with. And I was honestly, for the most part. But like when other things started building up, I'm like, man, I'm really missing exploring my sexuality. And like, all this other stuff back then, I would say by. And so she knew that I had those sexual urges, but knew also that I would never act on it because I wouldn't want to be to, you know, myself without knowing or consenting to that.

00:29:18:06 - 00:29:49:19

Delaney

So coming out of that, it was like, I'm ready for the world. Like, let's fucking do it all, baby. So I mean, getting off at life and meeting this person was great and just introducing me to the world. She's the person that I talked about really going to that pool party with. And Mike just really introduced me to a lot of cool lifestyles that I was not even aware of, and especially poly being like, oh, I have multiple friends and I can have multiple lovers, and it's pretty much the same thing, and we can just talk about stuff that we want to do and be open about it.

00:29:49:19 - 00:29:54:23

Delaney

And yes, this is what I've been wanting the whole time. I didn't know that I could do this, you know, totally.

00:29:54:23 - 00:29:57:03

Luna

And still feel special to each other.

00:29:57:05 - 00:30:16:13

Delaney

Yeah, yeah. Because to me, another thing that I really discovered and a lot of people put this in like the cook category, which if you want to, I don't fucking care. But to me, like conversion is the most beautiful thing ever. And it goes back to how I was talking earlier about pleasure and how I get pleasure from seeing pleasure.

00:30:16:13 - 00:30:23:13

Luna

Yeah, that's pretty stag too, though. Like the Stags would get mad if you just call it a cookie thing, because I think there is. Really. Yes.

00:30:23:13 - 00:30:24:12

Delaney

Cool. I did not know that.

00:30:24:12 - 00:30:40:21

Luna

Okay, yeah, I just interviewed someone who is a hot wife. Vixen. So that's the vixen to the stag. And the husband is like, yeah, yeah, come look at her, look at her. But anyone who's like, I know you eat my cum. He's like, we didn't invite you to that game. Yeah. That's not. Yeah okay.

00:30:40:23 - 00:30:58:22

Delaney

See that's awesome to hear because I've always been turned off by that scene because you hear a lot of alpha male talk, and we all talk in that same world, and that stuff just, like, is not good with me. But that's cool to hear. I'm glad compression is part of that because it's such a beautiful thing.

00:30:59:00 - 00:31:01:21

Luna

So it's so, so yeah.

00:31:01:23 - 00:31:18:15

Delaney

That leads to kind of where I was going of like she would go on dates with partners and I would love when she would be like, hey, here's a video of me blowing this dude that I just going to on a date with. It'd be like, fuck yes, that's awesome. Like, I get my own personal porn. Yes. No.

00:31:18:15 - 00:31:21:07

Delaney

Hot fuck yes. Yes. I'm like.

00:31:21:07 - 00:31:29:17

Luna

Why is it so hard to find a partner who wants to reclaim me after I go try things with people that are things they don't even want to do? Like, why is that hard to find?

00:31:29:18 - 00:31:32:07

Delaney

Okay. Yeah. Wow.

00:31:32:09 - 00:31:38:04

Luna

What happened next? So you met this partner, and it sounds like your sexy world exploded.

00:31:38:06 - 00:31:38:19

Delaney

It did.

00:31:38:20 - 00:31:39:12

Luna

Maybe many.

00:31:39:12 - 00:32:06:16

Delaney

Times. Many times. Unfortunately, I wasn't in a great place mentally coming off of that big, long relationship. Yeah, so my relationship with that person only lasted about nine months. Okay. In that nine months, I was able to really get into a community, find a poly community, find a solo poly community, find a community. Which actually so I know on Friday is our first like big play party back since like the whole shut down.

00:32:06:18 - 00:32:09:05

Delaney

I'm so excited. Congratulations.

00:32:09:05 - 00:32:10:04

Luna

I'm excited for.

00:32:10:04 - 00:32:20:19

Delaney

You. And so yeah, it's just been a journey of learning and saying yes, honestly and just whatever I can fulfill. I do it. Yeah.

00:32:20:21 - 00:32:27:15

Luna

Okay, so tell us now some of the things you've said yes to and some of the things you fulfilled both for yourself and others.

00:32:27:17 - 00:32:33:11

Delaney

Things I've said? Yes. I feel like there's not a lot I haven't said. Yes.

00:32:33:13 - 00:32:50:14

Luna

Okay. Then how about this? Tell us about your swishy self and like, what parts you started to explore and uncover first, and what inspired what and what it's led to and what you're exploring now and then maybe get into the specifics of the service, dancing and wherever you want to take it from there.

00:32:50:16 - 00:33:11:06

Delaney

Yeah. So coming in the lifestyle, it was very easy to compartmentalize, like especially the way I was brought up, I'm about to say a line of thought that is very toxic. So I'm not promoting this at all. But female body people, women were more subservient, so I could be more dominant with them where a male is supposed to be dominant.

00:33:11:06 - 00:33:39:21

Delaney

So I found it easier to be subservient to dudes. And so that was always kind of my switch side of like, yeah, I'll get fucked by a dude. But when it comes to a woman like I'm the male and blah blah blah, and experimenting with like first off, finding porn and seeing how many different body people there are out there and seeing that there are some people that are penis hoppers that also have breast and feminine features, and all this stuff is like, whoa, what is this?

00:33:39:21 - 00:34:01:09

Delaney

And so then experimenting with partners, there's actually the same group that we're about to have a party. There's a war that's kind of like a Craigslist, if you will, where you like, put an ad of what you want. And somebody up there was like female exploring Domme side would love to talk somebody i.e. like pegging crossplay blah, blah, blah.

00:34:01:12 - 00:34:20:09

Delaney

Yeah. And so I was like, let's do that, let's do that. And so especially being and this was already into talking impact play stuff, I was like, man, I've been doing it for a while. I need to experience that. Come to find out. And that's definitely a lot of things for me I really yeah. Yeah especially the stinky stuff.

00:34:20:15 - 00:34:41:08

Delaney

I also did it very poorly. I was more concerned about getting paid. I was looking forward to getting paid. Yeah. And having sex with this person then being up on the cross. And also unfortunately her husband is a very sadistic man, which I love him to death. Yeah, yeah. So like I'm up on that constant, like all the funny stuff is coming.

00:34:41:08 - 00:34:56:00

Delaney

I'm like, all right, that's cool. And all of a sudden I see him come in the room like, I'm going to do this. Like, it's okay, Delaney, you're not, you know, it's okay. I'm not. Do anything. And then I see him, like, pick up a I think it's called a dragon's tongue. Yes. Which is like. Oh, yeah. You know.

00:34:56:02 - 00:34:58:23

Luna

Single dailies. Those can leave a mark.

00:34:58:23 - 00:35:14:00

Delaney

So fucking mean. And he's like, have you ever tried one of these? I was like, no. He goes, all right, here we go. I was like, oh, it's just like, he got me. I was like, yeah, I'm not into that. He's like, all right, we're done. Okay. It's so they were super great. They're super involved in the scene.

00:35:14:00 - 00:35:30:02

Delaney

So I totally trusted them. But yeah, I mean, when I called Red, he like, put me in a blanket and then she set me down on the bed and gave me a cookie and lemonade. And then she was just, like, sitting there next to me, quite fully nude with her strap on. And I'm like, what is like, this is so amazing.

00:35:30:04 - 00:35:37:00

Delaney

I'm getting cuddled by this beautiful woman that's about to fuck me. I don't know what life is. This is perfect.

00:35:37:01 - 00:35:40:14

Luna

Wow. Okay, so the fucking happened after you're.

00:35:40:16 - 00:35:44:19

Delaney

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I wanted to do the impact play stuff first.

00:35:44:21 - 00:35:56:23

Luna

I actually don't think I've actually talked to someone who has been picked up for fucking lots of life cocks. Or if they have, maybe it's just so normal, I don't know. Is it the same? Is it different for you? Like it's a different mental experience, right?

00:35:57:01 - 00:36:20:04

Delaney

Not really. Cool. Yeah. I don't feel like it is like, obviously like dildos and things definitely feel a tad bit different, but not a whole lot to me personally. Yeah. I mean, to me it's more about that connection with the person. And she was also a person that also went to those pool parties and whatnot that I'd been admiring for like a year and like had heart, a hardcore crush on.

00:36:20:06 - 00:36:33:02

Delaney

And so as soon as I found out that she's the one that place that ad, I was just like, over the fucking hill was just like, oh my God, I hope she says yes, please say yes. And of course she's like, yeah, dude, let's do that.

00:36:33:04 - 00:36:36:06

Luna

With that, your first time getting topped by a femme.

00:36:36:07 - 00:36:43:16

Delaney

Yes. Okay. Next up is now I just got to do them talk gangbang. Yeah, but we'll see if that ever happens.

00:36:43:18 - 00:36:51:08

Luna

Fun. Oh my gosh, I love love that. Would you want to mixed King I really want to mixed gangbang.

00:36:51:10 - 00:37:00:06

Delaney

Well honestly yes I mean my dream party would be to have a queer word. Have you ever seen the movie Short Bus?

00:37:00:07 - 00:37:01:02

Luna

No.

00:37:01:04 - 00:37:31:19

Delaney

Okay. John Michael Mitchell made this movie called Short Bus. That's just this beautiful movie about love and experiencing it through different ways of sex and emotional connection. But there's no simulated sex. It's all real sex. There's a really beautiful point where one guy is singing the Star-Spangled banner into another man's asshole while he's jacking him off. Yeah, but there's this beautiful scene where there's just this room, and it's like a sea of people, and I'm like, orgies.

00:37:31:19 - 00:37:52:00

Delaney

I've always loved orgies, but, like, I want, queer orgy, where, like, everybody is into everybody kind of thing. And it's like, yeah, all right, we're going to spend like 30 minutes consenting everybody. We're all cool. We all know that if somebody says no. All right. Cool. Yeah. Let's go. Sorry, but no straights in this this room right now.

00:37:52:02 - 00:37:52:16

Delaney

Yeah.

00:37:52:16 - 00:37:55:23

Luna

I mean, no, no. Turn off. I want a room of full turn on for sure.

00:37:55:23 - 00:37:56:17

Delaney

That's true.

00:37:56:22 - 00:38:17:09

Luna

I but I mean, that's a valid desire. All of my fantasies, especially the ones that I like, actually write down. They're always so queer and and bendy, but also my brain works that way so. Well. Okay, so what else have you experienced in this community? With this community? And like, when did your top side start to play more, and how were the evolution happening?

00:38:17:11 - 00:38:24:20

Luna

And like how do you switch like is it with partners. Is it anything ever. Or just tell us more about your kinky stuff?

00:38:24:22 - 00:38:53:15

Delaney

Yeah, I haven't met anyone where I would be switching between with one person. I think it kind of came out of almost necessity and learn about myself more of like knowing that talking i.e. doing the action of giving pleasure I really enjoyed and then having a partner that likes more dominance and so going more into being a dominating figure.

00:38:53:16 - 00:39:14:09

Delaney

Obviously I'm a big dude and she is a small body person, and so being able to like pick her up, throw it around and be very aggressive with her was a big thing. And so knowing that I'm doing that, not because I want it to be some big macho alpha male, but because I know being big and dominant turns her on more.

00:39:14:11 - 00:39:40:15

Delaney

And so to me, that's being a service dominant person where I'm being dominant in that person's service. Oh yeah. And so that's different partners. Like with the person that I talked about that I made walk around outside naked. Yeah. And so with other partners it's with different things. And that's a skill. I mean we're not always sad. We're not always happy.

00:39:40:17 - 00:39:57:01

Delaney

Why would I always want to be dominant? Why would I always want to be born in reverse, which her. There's just so much to enjoy. Yeah. So I just want to enjoy everything. I guess that's why I love the word hedonist. Like I'm a true hedonist. I just I just want to enjoy life. Love it all.

00:39:57:03 - 00:40:08:09

Luna

Totally. What other things do you enjoy that we haven't heard about yet? Like what has someone made you do or what have you made someone do? Or what haven't you done yet? Like tell us about enjoyment.

00:40:08:11 - 00:40:31:15

Delaney

Two things come to mind. That same person that I was just talking to about the walking around Nelson. They said they wanted to experiment more with choking and choking out, and that really freaked me out because obviously I'm like, I don't want to kill anybody, I don't want to hurt anybody. And so I literally, like, went to other dorms in my community and was like, all right, this is where they want to go.

00:40:31:19 - 00:40:51:12

Delaney

How can we do that? And so they taught me like the proper way to choke her out and like all this stuff. So that was really fun because she took me down that path. Like that was not something that I wanted to seek out. But she's like, hey, you've been like choking and slapping and spitting, but what if you, like, just like choked me out because you wanted to be choked out and wait up to me?

00:40:51:12 - 00:40:55:09

Delaney

Had sex with her? Oh, wow. That's pretty extreme hardcore.

00:40:55:10 - 00:41:05:08

Luna

Okay. Also just safety, health and safety. Note for our listeners, that is extremely dangerous. People can die. Like I just want to I just want to say you got to do a lot of research on like, yeah okay.

00:41:05:11 - 00:41:21:16

Delaney

Yeah. And so there was like three separate people that I talked to. I also by the book, I was very nerdy. She got mad at me, which is like, why we do this year. I was like, please let me research. Yeah, I don't want to kill you. And then something for myself. I don't know what brought me to it.

00:41:21:18 - 00:41:42:02

Delaney

I think it's just in the community. There have been people around me that are in to water sports, but I've never, like, really been into it. And I took a self-realization trip this past February. So this is very new for me out in the desert of New Mexico. It was just this pueblo in the middle of nowhere, like nobody was around.

00:41:42:08 - 00:42:01:17

Delaney

And it was beautiful outside. And so I like to be naked. And so I was just naked all the time. Nice. And so I was outside peeing, and then I was like, and everybody's into this. What's it about? And so they had outdoor like lounge chairs. And so I just laid back and just start peeing in the air.

00:42:01:22 - 00:42:19:18

Delaney

I was like in the air was kind of crisp. And then of course, like the warmness of my pee is like, oh, this is fun. Am. So that's a new thing. That's a brand new thing, like a few months old, right? I'm an infant PE person. Yeah, but that's a new journey for me. So that's somewhere I push myself to go to.

00:42:19:20 - 00:42:33:18

Luna

I love the you tried it with yourself the first time. What do you think it would take for you to bring that exploration to a partner? Do you think you would initiator? Did you think you would want a partner to initiate or you just do you just let stuff unfold? It kind of seems like you go with the flow a little bit.

00:42:33:20 - 00:42:53:20

Delaney

Yeah, I am definitely the person to go with the flow, but I would definitely feel more comfortable like the one partner that's pretty into extreme play. Like, obviously I would feel okay, would bring it up to her. I haven't, but I'm feel okay. Bring it up to her. Obviously my partner that I have a sexual relationship with, that's not something I'm going to trust.

00:42:53:22 - 00:43:09:01

Luna

No, but okay. But like if you found a new partner or met someone who is like, I want to try all water sports, would you be like, well, you know, or would you be like, okay, like what? What do you think might be a catalyst for you to bring it into partnership?

00:43:09:03 - 00:43:13:22

Delaney

I guess I would ask them first, where do you want it? Right. It's like, what.

00:43:13:22 - 00:43:17:17

Luna

If you met someone who is really into and they're like, I just want to drink your water.

00:43:17:19 - 00:43:34:12

Delaney

If that's what you're into, I'm okay with it. Okay? Okay. Yeah. Well, that's like, I'm not about to yuck anybody's. I mean, there's things that are yuck for myself, but I'm not going to do that about anybody else. If I can bring them pleasure and I'm not hurting myself for them. Yeah. Let's experiment.

00:43:34:14 - 00:43:41:21

Luna

What other solo explorations or partner explorations or group explorations have you had more than that threesome.

00:43:41:23 - 00:44:02:18

Delaney

Well, that pool party, I guess, kind of was an orgy because there was people everywhere fucking. But thankfully I have been able to do a male male female threesome with a bi dude and bi female, and that was really fun because they were both really kinky. And so we were able to tie her up and like she got turned on by like dudes doing it.

00:44:02:23 - 00:44:13:00

Delaney

And so we were able to, like we always tie her up and then like have sex in front of her. And then that would get her super turned on, and then we would take turns on her and different things like, that was super fun.

00:44:13:02 - 00:44:18:07

Luna

Amazing. Were you like co topping her or was one of you? Was it like.

00:44:18:10 - 00:44:18:15

Delaney

It was.

00:44:18:15 - 00:44:23:04

Luna

Coke tears? Okay. Cool. Cool. Yeah. What else has your kinky self done?

00:44:23:06 - 00:44:51:00

Delaney

I think when I really, honestly think about the kinky things, I was thinking about what turns me on the most kind of go hand in hand of like having a past filled with shame and repression. That things that are wrong, things that I feel like are taboo are the sexiest thing, like the hottest things ever. And so, especially in my younger years, just experimenting with anything and everything does not a lot that I haven't done my own.

00:44:51:02 - 00:45:11:01

Luna

So I don't know if I actually really understand taboo. Someone kind of recently said this to me about some of the stuff that I'm going to do, and he was like, yeah, well, it's the taboo of all of it. And I was like, like in the moment, there are few moments where I don't have words to articulate, but this was one of them where I was like, well, I guess so.

00:45:11:07 - 00:45:26:03

Luna

But the more I thought about it, that was back in June. I'm not sure I understand taboo at all. Like personally, like inside my own heart. And so can you just say how it feels to you? Because there's like it's like delicious naughtiness, right?

00:45:26:05 - 00:45:54:11

Delaney

Yeah, for me it is. Hey, you shouldn't pee on yourself because pee goes in the toilet and that's disgusting. Oh, shit. I'm doing something that I've been told my whole life that I should not be doing. That's so hot. And to me, that's taboo. Okay? Taboo is outside of the restrictive hetero norms. You could say it's kind of generic, but yeah.

00:45:54:13 - 00:46:13:18

Luna

Okay. So it's like taboo for the rest of them. But I'm doing my own secrets. Is it kind of like that or because it's not self judgment, it's different. It's distinct from self-judgment. Right. Or maybe not for everyone. I don't know, I'm I guess I'm just asking for you because you're the expert here on yourself.

00:46:13:20 - 00:46:25:21

Delaney

I think it's a combination of both of those because it's the world telling you it's wrong, but you want to do it. And then that also building on top of itself, of being more enticing because it is wrong.

00:46:26:03 - 00:46:29:09

Luna

Even though your brain. No, it's not actually wrong.

00:46:29:11 - 00:46:31:01

Delaney

It's exactly okay. Exactly.

00:46:31:06 - 00:46:52:04

Luna

Something flipped in my brain back in 2016 when I was like, going to shave my head, going to examine my life in the world. And this was, you know, everything that led up to me pursuing kink and geekiness. And I sort of had this like, okay, well, if I like it and it's not hurting anybody, basically, if it's legal and consensual, I can do whatever I want.

00:46:52:04 - 00:47:13:18

Luna

And that was not just in the sexual realm, but also for me, it was a big deal to sort of be like, no, I am this horny. Like, you know, sex is how I make all my life choices, like sex and my desire to create. And those are totally intertwined for me. And so since then, like, sometimes I'm like, I'm really dogmatic in these certain ways where like, well, no, no, I'm in self-love, so how could I possibly judge myself for this?

00:47:13:18 - 00:47:32:12

Luna

But early me, I look back at my old journals pre 2016. I mean, even in those times, like even when I was 2017 exploring kink, there was a lot of judgment and the whole journals kind of like, is this bad? No, it's fine. And now I'm like on the side of it's fine. And so now I've noticed there's a part of me that's like, well, we can't.

00:47:32:12 - 00:47:33:16

Delaney

Judge ourselves.

00:47:33:18 - 00:47:43:23

Luna

Our selves just being me, you know? So I just wonder how that lives in other people who have their own journey of the son of a preacher man who is now like, kinky as fuck and you're rockstar.

00:47:43:23 - 00:47:52:01

Delaney

Yeah. I think for me, what's enticing is like, that is wrong, and I'm pushing up against something that I'm not supposed to do, got it.

00:47:52:04 - 00:47:54:00

Luna

Wrong and supposed to.

00:47:54:02 - 00:47:55:16

Delaney

Thank you for clarifying that. Yeah.

00:47:55:18 - 00:48:06:11

Luna

Oh yeah, I said those with air quotes bunny ears. But it's like those judgments of our past selves maybe, or the society that we are from. Maybe, I don't know, this is these are all noodles. These are sexy noodles.

00:48:06:12 - 00:48:21:01

Delaney

Yeah. And I mean, and that looks like different things for every person. Like, I just talked about water sports, but, I mean, that could be sex before marriage for somebody. Yes, that could be kissing a boy when you're a boy or whatever. Same sex stuff like. So I mean, there's definitely a range there, but.

00:48:21:05 - 00:48:43:20

Luna

Oh, totally. The stuff that I actually have shame about is hilarious because people are like, what? And like when I'm like, kinky, kinky, kinky kinky. Speaking of kinky, we got straight to a lot of kinky stuff, but I do want to kind of check in on general turn ons, just physical stuff like we heard details of your cock, but what other places on your body love to be given attention and how.

00:48:43:22 - 00:48:52:12

Delaney

My hands and arms, my head in general. I love scalp massages. That is a very easy way to turn me on. Yeah.

00:48:52:14 - 00:48:53:09

Luna

Ears?

00:48:53:11 - 00:49:15:01

Delaney

No on it. For some reason, ears are not a thing for me. Yeah, okay. And honestly, when I think about being turned on, it's usually more a mental thing. It's almost a demi sexual kind of thing where it's like having that emotional, mental connection first. It's helpful. Yeah, I guess my head, my arms and hands are areas that I like to be touched.

00:49:15:01 - 00:49:15:19

Delaney

You totally.

00:49:15:19 - 00:49:31:20

Luna

I can relate to that. I mean, I love to be touched and pretty much physical touch. If it's in a context of I know it's allowed to be happening, you know, I don't get turned on by people who are grabber rapists, but I do get turned on by touch in general, even if I'm not madly in love with the person.

00:49:31:22 - 00:50:00:02

Luna

However, for me to at this point, especially for me to feel like I'm going to take the next step and give the gift of my sexy self that now has like tons of knowledge, tons of enthusiasm, tons of, you know, competence in certain ways. I do have to have a little bit more of a connection, or at least kind of like some sort of emotional tether or reason that turns me on enough to get me beyond the physical hump, because otherwise I'm just getting enmeshed with people I don't really care that much about.

00:50:00:02 - 00:50:22:14

Luna

So my question to you is, what are the emotional components that turn you on in a sexy way? What kind of connection with a new human like, how do you choose it or find it? Or what are you looking for or filter? Or is it just a feeling that you can't explain? Because this is where I'm really getting confused lately, because I used to just be like, well, if we have good sexual compatibility, the rest will work itself out.

00:50:22:14 - 00:50:26:02

Luna

And now I'm like, oh, that's not working.

00:50:26:04 - 00:50:30:20

Delaney

Yeah, those are great for like, cool, we fucked. I'll see you next year.

00:50:30:22 - 00:50:36:12

Luna

I didn't realize that. I thought it could have been different in my head. It could be different.

00:50:36:14 - 00:50:56:22

Delaney

For one, just connecting with somebody like on a deeper level where we're both in agreement on something or even just nerding out on something like one of my partners, we nerd out about Star Trek and like, that's an awesome thing to me that gets me emotionally and mentally in that headspace just because there's somebody that's connecting with me.

00:50:57:00 - 00:51:22:01

Delaney

And to me that conveys both. They're getting to know me. So I want to like, let them know even more, and I want to know them even more. And then when I can see that someone is passionate about something that is just so sexy and somebody that is sure of themselves, or somebody that knows how to convey what they want or need, I think is really sexy to.

00:51:22:03 - 00:51:29:21

Luna

Ever question a layer. Yes, question. Does it change if the person you're interacting with is.

00:51:29:23 - 00:51:30:02

Delaney

A.

00:51:30:02 - 00:51:46:17

Luna

Top or a Dom? You might engage with, or a submissive or bottom? Does that shift the qualities you look for, not look for, but like, okay, become attracted to or like like or rather, is it a spark that leads you in a certain sexual direction or like, are there different textures?

00:51:46:19 - 00:52:15:02

Delaney

Yeah, that was kind of my first realization of like wanting to be identified more on the queer spectrum then just been bisexual was that there's not really any rules around it. It's like they're a human body person that I'm connecting with. I don't care what's in their pants or their shirt. Like I'm really attracted to what's in between those ears right now, and we're connecting.

00:52:15:02 - 00:52:22:20

Delaney

And that's all that matters to me. And if we connect on a physical level after this, that's how much even more amazing is that, you know.

00:52:22:22 - 00:52:23:17

Luna

Amazing.

00:52:23:18 - 00:52:47:12

Delaney

Especially already having that emotional, mental verbal connection. Like how much easier is that to like lead into consent talk and foreplay with consent and SDI and SD. And what are you into talk and all that kind of fun stuff that to me makes the physical stuff more fulfilling. Like like you said, like asking somebody how how show me how you touch your penis.

00:52:47:12 - 00:53:04:15

Delaney

It's like, how do you masturbate? How do you love to have your vulva touched? Oh, that's really sexy. I love seeing you touch yourself like these kind of things, like, can just, like, build up. And of course, anticipation is the best ever. So. So that just makes it even better, right? Totally.

00:53:04:17 - 00:53:13:15

Luna

Do you have any wisdom around joining or maintaining kinky sexy poly community just based on your experience?

00:53:13:17 - 00:53:16:19

Delaney

I do, I'm a very introverted person.

00:53:17:00 - 00:53:19:10

Luna

You are okay.

00:53:19:12 - 00:53:37:01

Delaney

Yeah, surprisingly I can turn it on, but like things like this, I made sure to like, plan nothing after our interview because I knew that, like, this is taking a lot of emotional energy for me and I want to give it so I know that I'm going to have to have some time out of this. Right?

00:53:37:01 - 00:53:44:02

Luna

But me too. For listeners, that's all I do. I do one interview a day now, like I used to do a couple, and I don't like mixing people up. And it's I give my focus.

00:53:44:02 - 00:54:17:06

Delaney

Yeah, yeah. Good. Yeah. Good. You deserve it. So obviously going into poly and learning about poly in the community, Austin has a really great community here. There's multiple groups and scenes. So there's always munchies happening. There's always parties happening. And everything from just like wrote educational stuff to other kind of educational stuffs to like big, huge events. So getting into that and then learning about solo poly, but being like, oh, I can be polyamorous and not have a nesting partner, I can be solo poly and might not have to get married or have like a primary.

00:54:17:08 - 00:54:47:02

Delaney

And so for me, navigating that was really good to get into my personality of being able to back off, learning how to get out there. But like I said, there's always parties happening. Those cocktail parties that we have like every week almost that we can go to and explore. It's like one of those things I was talking about with this is like making sure like, tomorrow night is a much for like a subset of the bigger poly group key group that is on Friday.

00:54:47:04 - 00:55:12:01

Delaney

And I'm like, okay, I cannot do two parties in one week, so I'm not going to go to that. I really want to go to the sex party. So I'm going to do that. So it's navigating in that sense and also being an introverted person, it's for me easy to feel disconnected a lot. And what that means is just I realize how important it is to have my partner's buy ins for party going.

00:55:12:01 - 00:55:33:00

Delaney

Yes. And making sure that, like I always have somebody to hang on to and not in the sense of like, you have to be on my side this whole time, but know that, like, hey, let's arrive together. Let's possibly leave together. If we need to leave separate, let's just talk about it. And we always have like a safe word of like, hey, I'm over this party.

00:55:33:00 - 00:55:51:14

Delaney

We need to bail. Like I need some time to be away. And so, like, if I go up to one of my partners and say, comply, it's like, all right, we're out, let's go kind of thing. And if they say the same to me, like, it doesn't matter if it's been five minutes or it's three hours later if I'm not ready to leave and they say, come quiet to me, that's the time I have to acquiesce and be like, I know if I was in that situation, I have to do the same.

00:55:51:14 - 00:56:12:20

Delaney

So to me, as an introvert, a person, as a person that finds my own space very important to me, I try to be aware of that and that helps me navigate those bigger parties. I still haven't been to like the huge, huge parties, like just bigger parties. I'm talking about, like house parties with like 50, 60 people, but like spread out.

00:56:12:22 - 00:56:36:20

Delaney

But there's also like huge parties like Glenn, there's a group here in Austin called Glenn Group and No Name. And they throw these like huge parties at hotels where like, they do events and bring in speakers and all this kind of stuff, and that's a little bit too much. I'm still growing in that sense, wanting to be that interactive, but in the kinky sense, I mean, I think that's even easier because, like, you can be kinky with yourself.

00:56:36:20 - 00:56:59:16

Delaney

You don't have to have a partner to be kinky, but the way I've stayed in it is just that going to those parties, going to those matches, staying active on our discord like there's local discords and stuff for people. To me, that's important. A lot of times I do it just because I know what's the benefit of staying in the group and staying active and not like backing off for a month or two and then just reappearing there.

00:56:59:16 - 00:57:26:04

Delaney

Like, especially as a sometimes solo male coming into these things. I don't know if you know this, but solo white males don't always have the greatest reputation I've heard. So if you've ever heard about this, if not a little bit. Yeah. So I want to make sure that people are feeling safe when I show up at places. So I want to make sure I know at least a majority of people that I'm showing up to.

00:57:26:04 - 00:57:28:10

Delaney

And hopefully that answer the question.

00:57:28:12 - 00:57:41:16

Luna

Yeah, I think it's a it's definitely a great starting place for those of us who are curious, what about your leather worker self is not part of your kinky self at all? Do you make some leather stuff like how does that play into your sex life at all?

00:57:41:18 - 00:57:48:23

Delaney

Yeah, I kind of have a curse to where if I see something that I like, I want to first try to make it myself. Oh my God.

00:57:48:23 - 00:58:01:08

Luna

I have that too. But like everything, like everything. And I'm. Yeah, I could make that out of it. And I'm like, stop, stop, stop. You have too many art. Stop. Stop trying to make everything. So is yours leather specific or is it just everything?

00:58:01:11 - 00:58:23:17

Delaney

No, it's. Yeah, I mean, it's woodwork also it's music. It's. Yeah. There's so many things, but leather work is kind of a new passion of mine where it started off by just. I wanted to get a harness myself. Yeah. And for one, being a big person, there were a lot of options for me. And then the ones I did find were like, so crazy expensive.

00:58:23:18 - 00:58:30:22

Delaney

And not to downplay, you know, that maker's products, but I was just like, and I don't know if I want to spend $400 on a harness.

00:58:31:00 - 00:58:35:15

Luna

That you can't try on ahead of time necessarily, because you got to order Etsy or whatever, and you're like.

00:58:35:17 - 00:58:55:06

Delaney

Okay, yeah, yeah, I get you. And being a person that wants to make everything and finally stumble really a partner, more of a a comment partner, maybe we'll call her. That sent me a picture of something. She was like, man, I wish I could find something like this. And it was, female body person with like, a certain kind of harness.

00:58:55:06 - 00:59:12:04

Delaney

I was like, you know what? That's it. I'm gonna start making leather stuff. And so I've been making a lot of collars and starting to make harnesses and yeah, I just love the act of, like, being able to make stuff. It's, you know, how it is, like creating something that's in your head and seeing it come to fruition.

00:59:12:07 - 00:59:21:15

Luna

A tangible thing, too. It's so different from editing or making a computer collage. It's so different. Or just even photos so different. It's so satisfying.

00:59:21:17 - 00:59:46:02

Delaney

Yeah. It's awesome. So, part about it is I wish I had a sample, but I'm now experimenting with barbed wire, so like real barbed wire and making collars and harnesses out of that. And some of them are like the barbed wire is on the leather, so it's not touching the skin. But I am making some that are like straight up for like the hardcore people.

00:59:46:04 - 00:59:57:19

Delaney

Like if they want to go hard, like you can have a barbed wire collar choker. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh. Oh my gosh. Okay.

00:59:57:22 - 01:00:03:01

Luna

What fantasies do you have or what do you want to explore that we haven't heard about?

01:00:03:01 - 01:00:23:07

Delaney

Yeah I would love to turn like an old church or some kind of non-Disney place into a dungeon and just be able to facilitate really awesome, healthy, loving parties. Oh, and, like, be able to, like, finally have the best queer orgies ever.

01:00:23:13 - 01:00:39:03

Luna

Do you know about my goal for 2023? I don't think you do, because I haven't talked about a whole lot, but it's to get a creation space which would facilitate daytime. I want daytime parties. I don't want to have to day up and like.

01:00:39:03 - 01:00:40:13

Delaney

To 3 p.m. I.

01:00:40:13 - 01:01:02:13

Luna

Can't do it. I can't swap my sleep schedule through it. First of all, really bad for the human body. I am timed with the sun like I wake up just before sunrise and like I want that. And so my my goal is to have galleries slash workshop space that then becomes the place where I do erotic performance is that devolve into the queer orgies of my dreams, you know?

01:01:02:13 - 01:01:22:20

Luna

And eventually I want to have a fleet of play ships, which is the mobile dungeon idea to, like, come around the country and do that in, you know, imagine like, if we could just, you know, how covered wagons is to circle up at night time. Yeah. Like, what if you could just go in the middle of nowhere places where you have permission, you know, you pay a property owner, but middle of nowhere spaces, and then you have like a nice and then you can go in this mobile and that.

01:01:22:21 - 01:01:36:09

Luna

And I imagine they would all be color coded for different, you know, like the yellow one with the match, the bandanas. And then they all have their different things on. That's my big dream. I love that you have. Okay. So you'll have one in Austin, but if you visit L.A then. Okay.

01:01:36:11 - 01:01:54:15

Delaney

There we go. I love that idea. Especially like, I feel like you could, like, do a circuit of, like, hitting all the Ren fairs. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's like all the burns. Yeah. Austin has a big burn, fair and burner population, so you could definitely do it here. Amazing. I love the idea.

01:01:54:15 - 01:02:04:09

Luna

Of converting a church like a very beautiful, like, stone cathedral or something with gorgeous glass windows and make it the type of worship that we love.

01:02:04:11 - 01:02:13:14

Delaney

Yeah, yeah, worship and life in ourselves. Yeah. I mean, just the idea of facilitating that for people, though, also is like, I don't know, it's just really enjoyable.

01:02:13:16 - 01:02:30:15

Luna

That's me too. I'm a much better host than party attendee because as an attendee I'm like, do they need help? And then they usually do. And so then I become that. But it's also, I think by service kink. Like I'm like, let me help. And then of course I would enjoy it too. Okay. Well that's a big fantasy.

01:02:30:15 - 01:02:36:17

Luna

I need like specific things for your body specific thing. I guess it's going to depend on what partners you meet, isn't it?

01:02:36:19 - 01:03:02:00

Delaney

Yeah, it really is. And I mean, I'm open. So that one partner that is on the harder side of things, we never did get to the full choke out having sex while she's waking up thing just because it was a little too much. I wanted to research more and life. Right. Yeah. But I'm wanting to explore my more dominant side of that switch in the sense of like, what does it mean to be more dominant?

01:03:02:00 - 01:03:23:19

Delaney

Because there's other very edgy, kind of play that she wants to do that I really need to be aware of. Yeah. And ready myself for and learn about. That's one thing I feel like is it talked about a whole lot. Is to like how Doms have come down. Also like aftercare for a top is a real thing.

01:03:23:21 - 01:03:40:06

Delaney

And I honestly never thought about it until one of the scenes that we had together where the next day I was just like, Holy shit, I call it it bang over like I had sex yet a bag over. Holy hell. I feel like I have a bag over, like we didn't fuck. We just had like this really awesome intimate scene.

01:03:40:10 - 01:03:56:17

Delaney

We didn't stay up late, like, what is going on? And I talked to one of my friends. He's like, dude, like, you're just coming down. You need some aftercare, like, what do you need? What's going on? And so like, no, man, I'm the Dom, I'm the top. I don't need that. Like, she's the one that receives all the pain and all this blah, blah, blah.

01:03:56:18 - 01:04:16:05

Delaney

It's like, no man. Like you did some heavy stuff to her. Like it's affecting you need, like. And then it came the realization of like, oh man, I'm pushing myself also to do these things. Like, I've never wanted to spit on a woman or hit her in a certain way or all this other stuff, and now all I'm being asked to do that.

01:04:16:06 - 01:04:30:20

Delaney

Give you pleasure through it. So I'm getting pleasure in, like, really going through all that didn't hit me until the next morning. I was like, oh, shit. And it wasn't a shameful thing at all. It was just like a realization of like, oh, I need to take care of myself too after all this. Yeah.

01:04:30:22 - 01:04:34:17

Luna

Thank you for shedding light on Dom drop. It is a real thing. Okay.

01:04:34:17 - 01:04:36:15

Delaney

You have a downside in you.

01:04:36:17 - 01:04:41:19

Luna

Oh, yes. I haven't talked about this perfectly in the.

01:04:41:21 - 01:04:43:11

Delaney

Well, I don't want to push that. No no.

01:04:43:11 - 01:05:09:02

Luna

No, I, I've, I've given snippets and hints and I almost when you were talking about the single tale earlier so I've had I'll just share snippets and there will be details at some point in the future. In Divine Timing, I have sort of disappeared from, like all the social parts of the internet for the last year because I've been doing some deep research, which includes a lot of travel, which also includes finding different types of mentors.

01:05:09:02 - 01:05:11:19

Luna

And so I was able to.

01:05:11:21 - 01:05:14:00

Delaney

Help top.

01:05:14:02 - 01:05:30:20

Luna

A dude with one of my very, very amazing, skilled lady friends who is a top and it was one of the most fun things I've ever done. And for me, and we like.

01:05:30:23 - 01:05:32:07

Delaney

Beat the shit.

01:05:32:07 - 01:05:48:15

Luna

Out of him. We were like, there was cock and ball torture. He was so into it, you know, because I am not yet trained. So I'm basically doing it's been a lot of research about what I want to learn. And now it's a matter of like organizing and then figuring out which classes, workshops, blah, blah, you know, so it's community.

01:05:48:15 - 01:06:10:03

Luna

But I also have to be in one city long enough to do that. So I've had this kind of like between family things and other work stuff. And then being here, 2023 is going to be the time of exploration. So I absolutely have a Domme side. And what I've been learning about myself in the exploration is I just really squished her down because I'm very powerful.

01:06:10:05 - 01:06:30:19

Luna

I have such clear ideas about what's happening all the time. I'm in charge all the time, so it's like it's been really, really fun to find safe ways to do it as a person, being fully in charge of another person all by myself. Right now, it feels like too much work. So I don't think until I have a little bit more like until I'm getting fucked regularly, like awesomely.

01:06:30:21 - 01:06:57:02

Luna

I don't think my like own personal needs will be filled up enough to, like, seek new partners more so than the opportunistic like follow alongs and kind of like tag along. But oh yes, I definitely have a Dom side and especially as a service Dom or top will you tell us again your delineation between Dom and top? You did mention it a little bit, but you have really specifics and now I just can't remember if I said the right thing, not the right.

01:06:57:07 - 01:06:59:23

Luna

Totally the right for me in this, in this context.

01:06:59:23 - 01:07:18:22

Delaney

You said the right thing. Well, first things first, and I'm glad to hear that. And I think it's fun to hear your side of the story, too. Oh, it came. There's a lot to explore and I'm so excited for you. A top to me is a giver of pleasure. It can be somebody that has a flogger, that is flogging somebody or paddling somebody.

01:07:19:00 - 01:07:50:21

Delaney

It could be somebody holding an electric wand and putting it over your skin. Dominant is doing the same thing, but giving a air of dominance and doing it in more of a forceful way of I am topping you, you are submitting to me. And so obviously there's a pretty extreme there where like, you can have like your hardcore Doms where like they want to walk in the door and you're on your knees in like position, ready to go, 24 seven kind of thing.

01:07:51:00 - 01:08:17:02

Delaney

Or there's like to me a service dom, which I think is like Dom like I guess I don't know where it's basically just jumping that bridge from on the top. That's providing pleasure to you, to a top, providing pleasure. But I'm going to be more dominant about it. Like I'm going to be more involved where instead of just flogging you, I'm going to come over and pull your hair and, you know, maybe call you a name or two and ask you if you like it and tell me to give it to you more.

01:08:17:02 - 01:08:27:09

Delaney

And, you know, like, be more into it in that sense where I'm more commanding. That's a great way to put it. It's a commanding presence on top of what you're doing as a top.

01:08:27:11 - 01:08:38:20

Luna

Is there anything about your sex life that we haven't covered? I mean, I'm sure there's lots of things but that feel like we need to just kind of touch on to have a complete picture of Delaney's sex life.

01:08:38:22 - 01:09:06:03

Delaney

There's one thing I wanted to mention, just because I feel like it's not talked about a lot, is with people that have penises. I feel like stereotypically, that is the way penis havers give pleasure and I've had the pleasure of meeting somebody that, unfortunately had a lot of trauma around folks that had penises. And we were able to build this relationship where it moved into a physical form.

01:09:06:05 - 01:09:34:19

Delaney

And when we got into the sex stuff, they did not want to be penetrated by a penis at all, but they wanted to be penetrated. And so we started off very slowly. But comes to now is basically I use a strap on to wear. That is what she prefers. And if that's the way I can give her, like I can give my penis a break for an I, you know, it's like, don't be ashamed if you can't use your penis.

01:09:34:19 - 01:09:55:09

Delaney

Don't be ashamed if somebody wants to use something other than your penis because it's not about your penis, it's about meeting their needs. And so putting the strap on and fucking with that, it's like, this is still really hot. And guess what? I'm totally going to masturbate to this later. So penis, just hold off for an hour, dude.

01:09:55:09 - 01:09:59:21

Delaney

Like you're going to get yours, you know, kind of thing, I love that. Yeah.

01:09:59:23 - 01:10:04:06

Luna

How do you wear the strap on? Where does it go on you? Just like on the mound?

01:10:04:08 - 01:10:24:19

Delaney

Yeah. Like pretty much. Yeah. Okay. Do you ever pinch yourself? Yeah. I basically have to tuck the penis back, but, I mean, it can get tricky sometimes. You. Because. Especially if I'm very turned on. Yeah, like, that's what I was wondering about. A little tricky. Yeah. Honestly, that only happened, like, once or twice for the most part. Like, I can be very turned on and still not have an erection.

01:10:25:01 - 01:10:35:04

Delaney

And then it's purpose to have. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of weird. I don't know how I do, but if I want to have a ritual, it's like, all right, now it's penis time, so let's do that. Cool. I don't, I don't.

01:10:35:05 - 01:10:41:21

Luna

I invite every penis owner to practice that skill because it seems like it could be useful sometimes. Okay.

01:10:42:02 - 01:10:42:17

Delaney

Yeah.

01:10:42:17 - 01:10:49:00

Luna

Wow. So would you be able to double penetrate someone wearing a strap on and using your cock, do you think, like.

01:10:49:02 - 01:10:50:07

Delaney

Oh, yeah, definitely.

01:10:50:11 - 01:10:52:20

Luna

Have you done that? Do you want to know?

01:10:52:20 - 01:10:54:08

Delaney

But that sounds really fun.

01:10:54:12 - 01:11:03:21

Luna

Have you gotten a double penetrate, partner with, like, in a threesome? Is that something on your list? That's one of my great fantasies, so I'm always just curious to hear about it.

01:11:03:23 - 01:11:23:07

Delaney

So I have not been able to do that. Yeah. I mean, I guess penetration usually when we talk about that is asking the vagina, but I've definitely done like she was boring me, like getting fucked or just fucking her. Right. So that's real fun. But no, unfortunately I have not done the double penetration thing. Okay. No. Yes, yes yes please.

01:11:23:08 - 01:11:36:04

Delaney

Okay. Yeah okay. It's on the menu. That's why doggy I think is real fun because it gives great access to the ass. Yeah. And so you can be fucking and at least, at least like a thumb. Yeah. Or something. Can playing with the book. So.

01:11:36:06 - 01:11:48:04

Luna

So. Okay. Any other things we need to know about, like orgasms or penetration or things you love or. I guess we didn't cover porn or sexting. Anything to say about porn, sexting, nudes. Like kind of the.

01:11:48:06 - 01:12:03:14

Delaney

The social aspects of sex. I don't know, the media. Yeah, yeah, I definitely don't shy away from that stuff. Like, like I said, there's discord and some other apps that I'm definitely on that I do not shy away. I definitely trade nudes with people and.

01:12:03:15 - 01:12:04:02

Luna

Oh.

01:12:04:05 - 01:12:04:16

Delaney

Text.

01:12:04:16 - 01:12:09:17

Luna

And your discord group, you can you do new nudes like the it's the kinky ones that it's like, yeah, okay.

01:12:09:17 - 01:12:13:19

Delaney

Cool. It's closed. Yeah, yeah yeah. And things like what's up.

01:12:13:19 - 01:12:14:21

Luna

Oh what's up.

01:12:14:23 - 01:12:39:23

Delaney

Okay. Yeah I feel like that more over coming to terms with my sexuality was the issue of like being comfortable with my body, being a big bodied person. Like, I just like being comfortable with, like, not everybody's going to like me. Not everybody's going to be attracted to me. It doesn't matter if I'm skinny, thin, fat, whatever. Like if they're not attracted to me, cool.

01:12:39:23 - 01:12:48:03

Delaney

I don't have to waste my time like trying that, you know, like, yeah, I'm going to hang out and fuck people that want to fuck. So fuck. Yeah. Yeah.

01:12:48:05 - 01:12:53:19

Luna

Okay. So what are your hopes for your sexual self going forward?

01:12:53:21 - 01:13:23:01

Delaney

Even more freedom. I run with the ideology that if I was again to use the term and I'm putting quotations vanilla straight dude, I wouldn't be going and blabbing about my sex life to people. But I want to be more open about my queerness and my Paulina's and whatever I can. Literally just because I want others that are hiding that to be comfortable with themselves.

01:13:23:07 - 01:13:41:14

Delaney

I want it to be a norm. And so to me, being more free with myself in that sense is a big drive. Like I said, there's not a whole lot sexually that I haven't done, so I feel like I'm in a great place of just like going down the road, like I'm in cruising mode, you know, there's not anything that I'm like, rushing to get to.

01:13:41:20 - 01:14:02:04

Delaney

Yeah, I would love to still have a queer orgy. Now I really want to do double penetration because you brought it up like there's these things. Of course. Thanks. Wild. Welcome. But to me, that's top priority is just owning who I am and being more free with that and hopefully encourage others to love them selves and be free.

01:14:02:06 - 01:14:37:00

Luna

Follow up question to that, because I have foreknowledge that you don't mind them. I've been thinking about how what do we call it? Personal freedom, self freedom, the feeling of freedom that comes from inside of me, not the label of freedom that someone else gives me. What I've been hearing from people over the past couple of years as like, you're just so open and free, and I'm sitting here thinking, like I'm trying to figure out, like if I have a personality so that I can, like, go try to date someone or like, if, you know, like, there's still all these parts of me that feel stuck in a regular way, like in conversation, something will

01:14:37:00 - 01:14:45:12

Luna

happen and I will get what I label in my head social freeze, because I just don't know how to go forward. What's your internal metric for freedom?

01:14:45:14 - 01:15:10:19

Delaney

That's a great question, and I definitely can identify with parts of that. I struggle with disassociation sometimes, and so that can play into what you were talking about. But for me, in the freedom for myself is knowing that the people closest to me know who I truly am, and know my struggles and know that I can be real with them.

01:15:10:21 - 01:15:36:05

Delaney

So my best friends, knowing that I'm going to a sex party, even though they're not into that stuff, or knowing that I'm queer or I'm poly, the people closest to me knowing that to me is liberation is freedom. It's funny because I feel like those kind of relationships outside of like the physical relationships to me, are almost more important because that's the places I find jealousy, which is really weird.

01:15:36:05 - 01:15:54:00

Delaney

Like I'm not a jealous person when it comes to relationships because of the competition thing. But competition isn't always there when like, your best friend has a new girlfriend and now they're hanging out with them because they're getting to know each other. Or my best friend that's in the band with me starts a new band. You're like, does not like my band anymore.

01:15:54:00 - 01:16:11:14

Delaney

What's good, you know, it's like you got to have those conversations and be able to go to them and say, man, I'm feeling really jealous. I feel like you're going to leave the band. Like you don't care about this anymore. Yeah, that's letting them know where I'm scared and what I need help with. And having those conversations is being known.

01:16:11:16 - 01:16:14:10

Delaney

So that to me, is true. That's freedom.

01:16:14:12 - 01:16:47:20

Luna

I love that it's interesting too, because, I mean, I was I reflect on my own experience after hearing you say that. Oftentimes I find it much more difficult to share openly with people who do not have the open, poly, kinky, non-judgmental framework that I wear in my day to day life, even friends back home or family. And so there is sort of I'm still figuring out the integration and kind of the my own little version of code switching, or I call it mode switching, because I always think of, you know, what mode am I in, what personality am I using, which clone am I today?

01:16:47:20 - 01:16:55:23

Luna

So if you could go back in time and give younger you a piece of sex advice, what age or ages would you pick and what would you say?

01:16:56:01 - 01:17:21:16

Delaney

I'd probably pick my high school self and I would tell them not to be shy, to be aware of himself, that he's worthy, that he doesn't need to waste time on people that don't want to be with him, that don't respect him, that don't want to be his world. I would tell them that the world is a much bigger place than little Georgetown, Texas.

01:17:21:18 - 01:17:38:16

Delaney

There's so much more life and love to experience outside of what you know. Yeah, don't hold back. Don't be shy. Experience life. Rejection makes you stronger. Don't be afraid of it. Don't be shy. Like love yourself and just keep moving forward. Fuck yeah.

01:17:38:18 - 01:17:42:02

Luna

Delaney, thank you so much for being a guest on Sex Stories.

01:17:42:04 - 01:17:44:09

Delaney

Of course. Thank you so much for having me. It's been an awesome.

01:17:44:11 - 01:17:47:03

Luna

Do you have a sex question for me?

01:17:47:05 - 01:17:56:05

Delaney

So you may have answered this before, but I would love to know your favorite body part on yourself and your favorite thing about your mind.