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49 straight dude, monogamishly married to his partner of 11 years.

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00:00:00:03 - 00:00:20:04

Luna

Our guest today is a 49 year old straight dude. He's kind of monogamous. Married to his partner of 11 years. They sometimes enjoy threesomes together and he is into cfn m, which means closed female and naked male, as well as exhibitionism and retro porn. A customer service agent from Tennessee. Welcome, Brett.

00:00:20:06 - 00:00:21:03

Bret

Good to be here.

00:00:21:05 - 00:00:32:19

Luna

Yes. I'm so excited to have you. Start off by telling us, please, if you had to rate yourself on a sexual shame meter today, with ten being the most full of shame and one being not so shameful, where do you feel right now?

00:00:32:21 - 00:01:01:18

Bret

If you ask me this question, about three weeks ago it would have been down around a two. But something happened that put me up around a, I must say about a five. Basically, when you mentioned the partner from earlier, I was trying to plan her birthday, trying to get a third, and apparently I sent a picture I shouldn't have sent, and they tried to blackmail me by threatening to post it on Facebook, to my work website and several other places that I didn't exactly want that picture to be.

00:01:01:19 - 00:01:09:12

Luna

Oh, okay. That'll definitely up a shame meter. Okay. How are you feeling about it now?

00:01:09:14 - 00:01:27:12

Bret

Well, now that it's been a couple of weeks, I've kind of had time to deal with it. Come to find out, it was all a bluff. We did get in touch with the website and got that person blocked. And apparently the authorities were involved as well because they actually did use words like blackmail that they shouldn't use.

00:01:27:18 - 00:01:37:23

Luna

Wow, that's a scare. Okay. Is that the first time something like that has happened? Because that's a pretty big shame. Spike. Have you had other shame spikes or like, do you usually hover around the two?

00:01:38:00 - 00:01:51:17

Bret

Now usually it's around a two. There was just that one incident was kind of threw me into a tailspin there for a little while, but, you know, I'm coming back down from where I was. I mean, you know, when it first happened, it was just like shell shock.

00:01:51:17 - 00:02:02:12

Luna

So do feel comfy sharing what the fears. Not specifically like the fallout, not the specifics of, like what? What happened at work, but like the fear around what if people did see that and knew it was you?

00:02:02:14 - 00:02:27:07

Bret

Well, that's kind of where my partner came in because she said, look, you need to realize this. She says, you're almost 50. You're an overweight. Yeah. Who really wants to see that other than me? So her saying that has really helped. So you guys, she's like, you know, most people would see that and just delete the picture. Not even, you know, think twice about it.

00:02:27:09 - 00:02:37:04

Luna

So I mean that's a good point. I also just wish that we lived in a world where it really wasn't that big of a deal, no matter what our body looked like. Like it's wow, okay. Right.

00:02:37:06 - 00:02:50:17

Bret

Luckily, my mother does not have the website. She didn't even like computers. So yeah, I didn't have to worry about her, but some of her extended family was what I was worried about more seeing it and being like, I hang out with these people every week. You know what they don't think.

00:02:50:17 - 00:03:02:12

Luna

But I can relate to that. I feel like the family can be the stickiest pieces sometimes. Okay, let's keep getting to know you. Will you tell us a little bit about what your sex life is like right now, and what your favorite parts are?

00:03:02:13 - 00:03:24:18

Bret

I mean, it's not as active as it was. And that's because my partner's going through some dealings with past trauma, so we don't have it as often as I'm capable of. But, you know, we try to get it as often as we can. And whenever we have it, it's always memorable and it's always great. And my favorite part is actually getting to see her when I get her off.

00:03:24:18 - 00:03:34:03

Bret

That's always been my favorite part with a partner is just seeing them, you know, get that pleasure that to me, that that's the ultimate.

00:03:34:05 - 00:03:41:16

Luna

Nice. Okay. Can you tell us now what is sexy to you? Give us your personal definition.

00:03:41:18 - 00:04:10:20

Bret

Sexy to me is whenever someone is, like in your personal space, and you can just feel that they're into you. They want you, you want them. And when they know that, you know they can go anywhere in that room and absolutely have your attention. And to me, somebody that knows that you want them and they know they they can have you that to me, that's the sexiest thing possible, because they can just walk across the room and you're watching them.

00:04:10:22 - 00:04:14:19

Luna

I love that. And when do you feel sexiest?

00:04:15:10 - 00:04:33:17

Bret

I feel sexiest, believe it or not, just when we're laying there. Usually it's afterwards when I got my hands behind my head and they lay their their head on my chest, that to me, that's just. That's it. You know, that's when I feel the best at my. Okay. If what she wanted me to do and they're dozing off or napping or, you know, whatever.

00:04:33:17 - 00:04:36:22

Bret

So it's it's great love that.

00:04:37:00 - 00:04:40:17

Luna

And now what counts as sex for you?

00:04:40:19 - 00:05:00:03

Bret

Well, sex for me, because everything from the past is, I take anything from the initial acts of foreplay all the way up to, you know, the aftercare after the orgasm, that whole thing to me, that sex, that, that entire area there.

00:05:00:05 - 00:05:09:18

Luna

I love it. Now, when you were a younger person, did you ever get a sex talk from a grown up that you knew? Or did you ever have a conversation about consent?

00:05:09:20 - 00:05:34:05

Bret

Yeah, consent was a big topic with my dad. It actually occurred. I had my first foray into sex education in school, and me and him would always sit in the kitchen that night after everybody else went to bed. And we would talk and, you know, he'd ask how how my school day had went. And I told him we were doing sex education, and he said, we gave you a piece of advice.

00:05:34:06 - 00:05:58:02

Bret

He said, I don't care where you go or what you do from this point on. He said, when you're with another person and you're wanting to have sex or they're wanting to have sex, he said, there needs to be consent all the way. He said. If she says no, it means no. Don't press, don't push. Just accept that, you know, and I've I've lived by that rule and it's it served me pretty well.

00:05:58:04 - 00:06:09:21

Luna

God bless your dad. Wow. I wish we had all gotten that clear talk from someone like, I wish the president gave it once a year or something. Like, what the fuck? Wow. Do you remember how old you were?

00:06:09:23 - 00:06:28:12

Bret

Let's see here. I think that was about the age of 13, because that was when we first, you know, we're in we were in middle school. I do remember that. And they sent home the big, long permission slip that you had to take and let everybody reading. That was always the one who signed those. And he, you know, he he took he said, now pay attention.

00:06:28:13 - 00:06:48:01

Bret

He said, you're going to learn something. I went the first day and I'm kind of lost. And I came back and he's like, did you learn anything? And I'm like, dad, I just I'm like, I don't know, you know, which at the time, I mean, that first class, you know, they're showing you these, these diagrams and it's like you go home and you're like, no, I don't look like that.

00:06:48:02 - 00:07:11:13

Bret

You know? You know, but it's the it's the diagram. It's not the actual picture, you know, it's but it's it's shocking at first. And then as we got later into the week and we got to see like the videos and everything like that, it all started to kind of come together at the end of the week. You know, he took and he's like, well he said, you feeling better about, you know, about sex.

00:07:11:13 - 00:07:27:15

Bret

And you did earlier in the week. And I'm like, yeah, I said, but you know, I don't think I'm there yet. He said, now he said, you don't need to be there yet. You know, he said, you just you need to learn, you know, before you get to this stage. So he kind of guided me a lot over the years.

00:07:27:15 - 00:07:43:03

Bret

And, he would see the mistakes. I was going to make and the mistakes I did make. And he kind of had some, you know, advice and funny things to say that those two things, one of his favorite things is always say, does I say don't do as I do?

00:07:43:07 - 00:07:45:11

Luna

So my mom said that was.

00:07:45:11 - 00:07:50:16

Bret

Something I learned. It didn't actually apply to sex. Well, maybe it did. Actually, there was a story there too.

00:07:50:17 - 00:08:08:17

Luna

Okay, okay, okay, well, we have so much more to learn. Okay. But before we get into actually all of those details tell us as an adult, have you had a moment? I imagine you have, based on the fact that you're given that advice. But maybe tell us one of these moments as an adult where there's been a really explicit, clear.

00:08:08:17 - 00:08:12:03

Luna

Yes, with a partner that has led to something really hot.

00:08:12:05 - 00:08:34:03

Bret

That would actually be with my partner. We had been seeing this other female we had all taken, gotten together at our apartment, and we had dinner. There was nothing implying that we were going to have sex at all. And we had sat there and we talked about it and she said, do you guys mind if I go get into something a little more comfortable?

00:08:34:05 - 00:08:53:14

Bret

And she came out in this lingerie outfit that just knocked us both dead. I it was amazing. And I took and I was like, okay, are we really doing this? And I thought my partner was going to say, not, not, not just yet. She jumped in, you know, everybody. I was like, okay, so everybody's okay. And on board.

00:08:53:16 - 00:08:57:09

Bret

Yeah, everybody's okay. And I'm bored. So we went for I.

00:08:57:10 - 00:09:09:21

Luna

Love that example too, because I never think about the medium step of how an outfit change, really, that's such a clear way to be like, well now you see. Oh beautiful. Oh, that's so hot. I love that.

00:09:09:22 - 00:09:29:18

Bret

She did the several times. And it's it's amazing what that does to the relationship. One time we went tubing and then we were going to go ride go karts. And she decided to show us the fact that she wasn't exactly dressed, the rad go karts, that she didn't have any underwear on. And with her dress so,

00:09:29:20 - 00:09:52:15

Luna

This is exactly the type of wise person I need to teach me about clothes that starts to make them make sense. Use the clothes to get this. Next. I'm kidding. No. Okay, okay. Last question. In our little intro series, what happens to your shame meter when it's time to talk with a partner about safer sex? And in your perfect world, how would those conversations go?

00:09:52:17 - 00:10:09:16

Bret

You know, I'm like, okay, you're okay. You know, we get the consent out of the way first, and then that kind of gives me a segue into, okay, are you protected? You on own appeal? You know that I need to get condoms with, you know, where we need to go from there if they want me to, you know, wear condom.

00:10:09:16 - 00:10:14:10

Bret

That's not a problem. I've, you know, I've done it pretty much my whole life. Is.

00:10:14:12 - 00:10:27:07

Luna

Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. Okay, now take us back. I would love to hear your early memories about sex and then just walk us through your formative timeline, and I'll probably pepper you with questions along the way.

00:10:27:09 - 00:10:48:22

Bret

All right, so, first, memories of sex. I was young, we were living, I won't say in the country because we never really did live in the country. But where we lived, it wasn't like a huge city. It was kind of a smaller, midsize city. So there were a lot of kids around, and one of my buddies at the end of the road had a tree house.

00:10:49:00 - 00:11:15:16

Bret

Well, what? We didn't know about five of us didn't know was he had been going into his dad's bedroom, I guess, and borrowing his adult magazines and taking them up into the tree house for us to have some reading material whenever we were doing it. So we were, I guess, about 8 or 9, and we were sitting there looking through these magazines, and he had said, we're from like the 70s and early 80s.

00:11:15:18 - 00:11:41:07

Bret

This is unlike anything we'd ever seen before. I mean, now, those did not show full penetration when they did have a man and woman in the same pictorial. But you could kind of get the gist of what was about to happen in that next photo. And actually, you know, went on and we got to see that for I guess, several years, he would bring them out until his dad finally figured out what he was doing and took place.

00:11:41:09 - 00:11:45:10

Luna

Okay. So you guys would just look at them together. Did it ever progressed to anything?

00:11:46:00 - 00:12:05:06

Bret

Not with that group. It didn't. There's just later on where we did other things, but that was kind of my first introduction, you know, seeing sex, the sex education was like just before that. So I kind of knew more of what I was looking at at that point as kind of a visual guide of, oh, that's what that was.

00:12:05:06 - 00:12:11:06

Bret

That's how that happened. Yeah. Then I got into reading the articles and the hot letters sections.

00:12:11:10 - 00:12:16:05

Luna

I hear that's why people actually read those magazines. That's the reason they exist. I hear.

00:12:16:07 - 00:12:28:00

Bret

Yeah, that's, you know, and to me, sometimes the stories were better than the pictures. And believe it or not, you actually can learn a lot. Some people can't just, you know, need to read them instead of just flipping through the pictures.

00:12:28:04 - 00:12:32:01

Luna

And oh yeah, learning from stories is my number one favorite.

00:12:32:03 - 00:12:52:11

Bret

So I did read a lot of the stories, and that was kind of what, you know, led me on in my, you know, exploration of things. So a few years after that, we actually moved and a friend of mine, he took and I had obtained a couple of magazines from my cousin who, brought some over and just left them for me to had.

00:12:52:11 - 00:13:13:12

Bret

So I had like 2 or 3 of those. And then a buddy of mine one afternoon, had brought one to school and he said, hey, check this out, you know, take it home and read it. I started reading it and for some reason, and I don't know why that one, just as I was reading the letters as I started, you know, feeling an erection and I was like, wow, okay, this is different.

00:13:13:14 - 00:13:34:09

Bret

You know, I don't know why it had never really inspired me before, but the more I read it, I was like, okay, this is interesting. And next thing I knew, you know, I've got my clothes off. I wasn't really stroking it so much as I was just rubbing it. And that was the first time that I actually had an orgasm, and I was like, whoa, okay.

00:13:34:09 - 00:13:54:13

Bret

That something didn't occur to me that that's what they'd been talking about in sex ed at the time. Yeah. But as I got to reading more of the stories, I'm like, okay, so that's what happened, you know, didn't say anything to anybody. I was taken, you know, pulling myself up afterwards. But it started to become a, a regular thing.

00:13:54:15 - 00:14:10:17

Bret

Oh, yeah. You know, and then from there it was just I wanted to read everything I could get my hands on because I wanted to know more. But, I mean, you know, I was 13, 14, so, you know, there was that thirst for that carnal knowledge that you don't get in school.

00:14:10:19 - 00:14:16:22

Luna

Was there for a minute and take us into the landscape of your kind of family vibes.

00:14:17:00 - 00:14:35:03

Bret

Well, with dad, I found out in his later years that he was kind of like me before he met my mom. He was always, you know, looking for women. I mean, you know, one time he told me, he said, look, he said, you know, he said, when I was your age, I was out looking. He said, I was in the bars.

00:14:35:03 - 00:14:51:12

Bret

I was, you know, everywhere. And I think, you know, a lot of that was where he was kind of like, you know, do as I say, don't do as I do. In other words, don't go to the bars and just pick up everything that you know, that you all you know. And he was he was always real open about that part of it.

00:14:51:14 - 00:15:08:20

Bret

And then he's like, but your mom changed me. Now, the thing is, is that he was that way with me, but he was not that way with my sister. It I won't talk to her about. Was it about sex at all? I mean, that was just like. He's like, look, you tell mom, he'd be like, you're going to have to deal with that.

00:15:08:20 - 00:15:27:18

Bret

I'm not. I'm not talking to the other, you know. So he did. He did have his limits. But with me, he was very open, a very honest. And whenever I did actually start having sex was whenever he was kind of like, okay, let me know what's going on. We need to take a make sure that you're not doing something.

00:15:27:18 - 00:15:53:01

Bret

You shouldn't be with somebody. You shouldn't be doing it with. Yeah. He was he was great about that. My mom, she was more standoffish about it. But the odd thing is, is that dad, actually, he was a business owner time. So he wasn't always there. When we had dinner, he'd usually roll in about 8 or 9:00 at night, you know, and you'd get maybe two hours with him before it was time to go to bed, get ready for school or whatever the next day.

00:15:53:03 - 00:16:14:22

Bret

So, you know, we weren't black. The whole white picket fences, you know, eat dinner. 6:00. That family. Mom, she was more on the religious side. She wanted us to go to church every Sunday until we finally got old enough. We're like, yeah, I really don't want to. I won't do that, mom. You know, whenever we got to be teenagers, it was just we scattered to the four winds whenever the weekend was.

00:16:14:22 - 00:16:15:07

Bret

00:16:15:07 - 00:16:18:16

Luna

So totally. Did you and your sister ever talk about sex?

00:16:18:18 - 00:16:27:19

Bret

A couple times. Most of it was because she was telling me that I needed to keep my girlfriend quiet. She would cover for me. Let's.

00:16:27:21 - 00:16:29:04

Bret

Peace.

00:16:29:06 - 00:16:33:22

Luna

Okay, so I hear there was a girlfriend. What led up to the partnership?

00:16:34:00 - 00:16:52:08

Bret

Well, the thing that kind of happened before me and several of my buddies were actually, you know, we were actually looking at the magazines and a buddy of mine, he said, hey, I need to go home. I'll be right back. You know, you guys stay here. They came back. He had a video. The I'm talking the old VHS videos.

00:16:52:09 - 00:17:12:20

Bret

So, you know, these things were huge. Yeah. And he's like, you got a VCR? So we threw it on. And it was first porn movie that I ever saw. And several of the other guys was the first movie that I ever saw, and we pretty much just jerked off in front of each other. We only did it all times.

00:17:12:20 - 00:17:35:19

Bret

But, you know, it's memorable for sure. But we didn't touch each other or anything like that. We were just, you know, kind of like, wow, okay. Yeah. So this is this is different. Yeah. We had never seen anything. Okay. And I didn't even know those movies actually existed. So that opened a new avenue for me to start, you know, looking around and seeing where I could find these things.

00:17:35:21 - 00:17:51:17

Luna

Totally. You know what I was wondering about? A few people have told these masturbation with friends stories, penis owners. And I'm like, who comes first? Do you think about who comes first? Do they say it? Is there an announcement? Does it just happen? Did you aim for a target with us?

00:17:51:18 - 00:18:09:13

Bret

It just kind of happened. I mean, you know, we did. We didn't actually aim for a target, you know? I mean, you know, we didn't want to take get off on friends there, you know, take pride, aim it towards ourselves, okay. Nothing. Well, then afterwards we took turns in the bathroom, you know, kind of cleaning up. And then we went outside and played basketball.

00:18:09:13 - 00:18:15:13

Bret

Amazing. Like, okay, that happened. Okay, well, we're out of sex mode now. Let's go play basketball.

00:18:15:15 - 00:18:18:07

Luna

Okay, so what was the transition into partner done?

00:18:18:07 - 00:18:43:14

Bret

Like there was a couple of, I guess column misfires or missed opportunity practices. Yeah. This one girl, I was dating her. We had actually met at a fast food restaurant. She was a year below me, but we were the same age because she had actually failed a grade and she was the misfire because I had an opportunity one night in the back of my mind, my dad was like, you got to have a condom.

00:18:43:14 - 00:18:56:06

Bret

The first you got to have a condom. I literally said that that night I was like, I got to have a condom. And she dropped me like a hot potato. She didn't want anything else to do with me that that was it. She was the.

00:18:56:08 - 00:18:59:11

Luna

But what good fortune. Yeah.

00:18:59:11 - 00:19:22:01

Bret

So yeah, I was like, okay, well, that didn't turn out too well. So next girl that I started dating, we had been friends since elementary school. We got to going out and doing the whole makeout thing. So she had this belt that I don't know if they still sell them, but it was this leather belt that the buckle was handcuffs.

00:19:22:03 - 00:19:41:09

Bret

And she'd had these for like years. And we would take and like handcuff each other and tickle each other, which is what I thought was going to happen. We went out, we went, got fast food, and we went to this little makeout spot. And man had been there several times, but we always just made out. No clothes coming off or anything like that.

00:19:41:11 - 00:20:00:20

Bret

That night it got really hot in the car, so I took my shirt off. Didn't think anything of it. You know, she's seeing me with my shirt off several times. Then she took and she did the thing which took the belt off, and she ran it through the headrest to where my hands were up over my head. And she started saying, do you trust me?

00:20:00:22 - 00:20:23:11

Bret

And I'm like, oh yeah, I trust you. You know, I thought we were going to get into the tickling thing now. She decided that she wanted to see me naked, so she proceeded to pull my pants completely off and looked at me and she smiled, kind of laid her head down on my chest, looked at me with this evil smile on her face, and she's like, what do you still trust me?

00:20:23:11 - 00:20:31:23

Bret

And I'm like, yeah, I still trust you. And she proceeded to masturbate me with her hand, which was something I had experienced on my own, but not with somebody else.

00:20:31:23 - 00:20:35:22

Luna

So what a hot first experience.

00:20:36:00 - 00:20:47:01

Bret

Yeah, it was great. And we did that several times. You know, I didn't mind. I was like, okay, so kind of an introduction to bondage and see them at the same time.

00:20:47:03 - 00:20:49:07

Luna

Did you know it had a name back then?

00:20:49:09 - 00:21:05:10

Bret

No. Back then I didn't I just thought, you know, she just like to get me naked and and play with me. I mean, you know, it's that's what I thought at that point. I didn't really think that much of it till later in life. And I actually discovered it on a porn site. And that's when I found out ahead of me.

00:21:05:12 - 00:21:13:02

Luna

This seems like a good, spot to just go into detail about what you loved about clothed female, naked male stuff.

00:21:13:04 - 00:21:36:17

Bret

Well, I think it's because you get that power shift because, I mean, you know, I'm from the 80s. We had the whole sex, drugs, rock and roll thing, and it was always male dominated back then. But whenever you're naked and she's dressed, she has the power you have. Nothing is vulnerable as you can possibly be. So I always thought that's what it was that did it for me.

00:21:36:20 - 00:21:53:03

Luna

I love that, and I love learning this because I don't feel vulnerable when I'm naked. And I have to learn this over and over again from people because I'm like missing fun opportunities to play. But now that I know that this is like a part of the power dynamic, these are the types of things that I put together.

00:21:53:04 - 00:21:55:12

Luna

I'm like, Holy shit, I see the possibilities.

00:21:55:12 - 00:22:10:12

Bret

You could actually watch movies about it and kind of see how, you know, I mean, there's some of them where the guys are just like, you know, they're confident, but if you watch some of them, some of them are kind of like, what's going to happen, you know, and that that was kind of main at that point. It's like, okay, she's got me naked.

00:22:10:12 - 00:22:12:03

Bret

What's going to happen?

00:22:12:05 - 00:22:17:06

Luna

What next? Did she become a girlfriend? Was that that was your first like play partner. What happened next?

00:22:17:06 - 00:22:43:06

Bret

Yeah. She became a girlfriend and we were together for, I guess, about eight months. We were together. It never progressed beyond that. There was one night she took and she had been handcuffed again, which kind of became our normal little thing. And she's like, you know, she said, I'm never going to actually suck you off. And I was like, man, it just, you know, that kind of burst my bubble.

00:22:43:06 - 00:23:05:06

Bret

I'm like, okay, she's using her hand. She never going to use her mouth. So I'm not going to know what that's like. You know, with her anyway. You know, she was an assistant. She wasn't. And that unfortunately created an argument and kind of lead to the end of our relationship. We were 16 on the cusp of 17. So, you know, I mean, at that time, you've really not developed your sexual self.

00:23:05:09 - 00:23:20:16

Bret

You're still learning different things. I mean, at that time, technically, aside from that, I'm still a virgin. As far as actual penetration, we finally repaired the relationship. Shit, though, we've been friends again, so we didn't have any more adventures. But yeah, yeah.

00:23:20:18 - 00:23:33:00

Luna

It's hard when the sexual the desires or needs do not align. It's so sad. Especially when it's a fun play friend. So did you find more play partners after that, or was it more like solo study? Like what was the next kind of like progression?

00:23:33:02 - 00:24:01:17

Bret

The next progression was I did find a girl and I was head over heels for her. I was like, okay, yeah, this is the one. And I still remember the date of this sequence. So this is my first penetration. It was December 17th, 1989. Never forget. And we've done this kind of the same thing. We had gone and we'd gotten this food and we were there and we had the radio on.

00:24:01:17 - 00:24:21:13

Bret

There was a local station. It played like, I don't know, every evening. They played like love songs and learned, you know, over the years I'm like, okay, that might help, you know? So we had love songs on the radio there and that night she laid back and she pulled her pants down and her shirt, I still remember her underwear, for goodness sake.

00:24:21:19 - 00:24:39:15

Bret

It was yellow and had these little penguins with Santa hats on. So I was like. And at this point, my only experience previously had been fingering in a band with her. And I thought, okay, well, that's what she wants, and I roll. You know, I took in a move towards her and she's like, I don't want your fingers, I want you.

00:24:39:15 - 00:25:01:04

Bret

And I was like, oh, okay. So, you know, I took and did not think about protection at all at this moment because, I'm just there in the moment, you know, and I'm like, forgot everything. You know, the day that it's over. And I was like, yeah, okay, got one shot and I got ready three strokes later, that was it.

00:25:01:04 - 00:25:22:02

Bret

I was done, I took and I'm sitting there. I'm I'm mad at myself. I'm kind of like, okay, this was not what I had expected. I mean, I had built sex up in my mind. It's going to be this big emotional, you know, crashing of waves. And I was going to hear trumpets and, you know, everything now didn't happen.

00:25:22:02 - 00:25:35:16

Bret

And I think that broke her heart because I was like, well, is that it? Is that all there is? And I didn't mean to hurt her that way. I was just kind of like, okay, yeah, that wasn't what I expected. I should not have verbalized it. You know, you.

00:25:35:16 - 00:25:41:12

Luna

Don't know until, you know, how are we supposed to know anything? When we started having sex, we didn't know. If we didn't know.

00:25:41:15 - 00:26:04:15

Bret

Yeah, I know, and I verbalized it now. It's kind of like, wow, okay. Yeah. That wasn't the way to go about that. So I took and I finally told her, I said, look, I said, I'm sorry, you won't try again. And the next time that we tried, I was cognizant enough to get the condom out of my wallet, which I should have gotten in the first tap next time possible is a lot better.

00:26:04:15 - 00:26:29:18

Bret

I mean, it's still, you know, still didn't have like the the waves crashing in it, but it was much better. I lasted longer and that was the first time that I was able to actually get someone off just with penetration, kissing and all that. This was all the same night. We had moved from the front of the car to the back seat where we had, you know, more room to move and I could kind of maneuver around.

00:26:29:18 - 00:26:45:00

Bret

And then I felt like I performed much better, you know, when she had an orgasm and I was like, okay, so that one worked out better. I was like, okay. And, you know, I had to apologize to her that, you know, sorry. That first time was just kind of my first time. Didn't know what I was doing. Yeah.

00:26:45:02 - 00:26:54:09

Luna

So we now know your first partner debut. What were your explorations over the coming years? What did you learn about yourself sexually? What did you like the most? What turned you on the most?

00:26:54:11 - 00:27:17:10

Bret

Well, she didn't blow me either, so that was kind of something. And me and her, we had one of those, I guess, in this day and age, you'd probably call it a sick relationship, because we argue and then we'd make up and there is such thing as make up sex and it can be pretty good. But we didn't know the law and then I graduated and I made this girl.

00:27:17:15 - 00:27:38:11

Bret

She was friends with benefits. That's that's what we were. That was kind of what we had decided we were going to be. And the way we started having sex was we took turns renting movies and going to each other's house. When we went to her house, she had two of her friends over, and they watch the porn movie with us and then they leave, which left us.

00:27:38:13 - 00:28:01:15

Bret

And there was finally I mean, this was about the third or fourth time we done this. We were at her house. Her parents were out for the day working, and she's like, I've never had sex. I was like, we want to try this. So we went into her bedroom and it was it was her first time. I found out that night that everybody's first time is not probably going to be their best.

00:28:01:17 - 00:28:04:15

Luna

I hope not, because then it's only going downhill.

00:28:04:17 - 00:28:29:14

Bret

Well, I mean, my Perry was it and hers. We had the whole issue with her bleeding a little bit. I didn't expect bad, I didn't know. Yeah. You know, hadn't learned anything about that. Part of it wasn't bad though. And like I say, we became friends with benefits. So we were out practically every night after that. One afternoon, she came over, to the house, and I had a job interview a little bit later that day.

00:28:29:16 - 00:28:47:11

Bret

Her job was to drive around and deliver vehicle parts to different garages so she could take, and she could disappear for an hour or two, and her job wouldn't even know it. So she came over by the house one day and I was getting in the shower and, you know, sitting there and I was talking to her and I was like, look, I gotta take a shower here.

00:28:47:11 - 00:29:08:13

Bret

I gotta interview later this afternoon. I didn't know she's going to get a shower with me, but she did. And that was that was when she gave me my first blowjob and thought I was gonna lose my mind. I was like, wow, okay, this this is this what I've been missing? We took and we moved from the bathroom into the bedroom there.

00:29:08:15 - 00:29:30:06

Bret

I'm like, I'm on a time constraint. I'm like, okay, I've got an interview. My mom's coming home from work, you know? So I'm gonna have to give. So we made it to where she could get, She went back to work. I went to my interview, but that day just stuck in my mind for what I can. Still there now.

00:29:30:06 - 00:29:49:09

Bret

Really? Like I said, we were friends with benefits. We kept that up for over a year. And in one night, she she she said she was, starting to have feelings. And I'm like, let's buy it. You know? I said, well, I said, unfortunately, I said, you know, I said, that's kind of where I'm. I'm not looking for anything right now.

00:29:49:10 - 00:30:09:18

Bret

You know, I told her, I said, I'm just better off being single, you know, and just kind of, you know, playing around when we can. That kind of ended that part of, you know, my relationship life. It was rough because, you know, I was kind of like, wow, you know, I enjoyed that. Yeah. Because there was not that emotional attachment for me.

00:30:09:18 - 00:30:14:14

Bret

But apparently she felt it. So I felt like it was probably good for me to step away.

00:30:14:16 - 00:30:28:05

Luna

I'm curious about blowjobs, oral sex. I would love to know what you love. And I would love to know the giving and the receiving part of it. And were you going down on these ladies that weren't giving you oral sex, or was it sort of like a mutual? We don't do that.

00:30:28:06 - 00:30:31:14

Bret

The ones that weren't given me, I wasn't giving them.

00:30:31:17 - 00:30:33:08

Luna

So it's equal at least.

00:30:33:10 - 00:30:55:15

Bret

Yeah. Yeah. I kind of felt like, okay, if you're not going to, you know, then me, I'm the witch. I mean, you know, keep in mind, I had read I had actually tried physically at that point. Now what she did start giving me blowjobs. I did reciprocate because again, I had read and got pretty good at what my favorite part of giving.

00:30:55:16 - 00:31:18:02

Bret

There's just something about smell and taste. And when you're going down on someone that is an intimate act that just, you know, you're about as close as you can get someone doing that. To me, that's almost more intimate than the actual act, the penetration going down on somebody. And that's one of my favorite things to do. I mean, you know, I just I love that when I'm feeling it.

00:31:18:02 - 00:31:35:06

Bret

I mean, you know, it's just that speed if they're good and not not every woman has been able to do that. But if if they're good, you can't tell the difference. And if it's their mouth or if it's there. Some women are just just like that. It's lack of my, you know.

00:31:35:08 - 00:31:37:15

Luna

Unpack this word. Good for me here.

00:31:37:17 - 00:31:38:16

Bret

We'll say skilled.

00:31:38:21 - 00:31:43:14

Luna

Like, do you mean you mean literally like blowjob skills or do you mean like the actual texture?

00:31:43:16 - 00:31:44:22

Bret

Blowjob skills.

00:31:45:00 - 00:31:49:18

Luna

Interesting. Okay. Oh, I'd love to take a pull. I've never heard this from anyone before.

00:31:49:20 - 00:32:08:16

Bret

I've had women who can actually take and do it. You couldn't tell the difference. I do kind of like the mouth a little bit more. And I think a lot of that is one of my favorite positions is with the woman on her back, with her head hanging off the side of the bed and just face man as there's no the word for that.

00:32:08:16 - 00:32:18:03

Bret

And I just, I love, I love doing that, I love that, but at the same time, I will say that I'm not going to, you know, fuck a pussy if it's, you know, if I've got the opportunity. I mean, oh.

00:32:18:04 - 00:32:21:16

Luna

I always want to check all the boxes if possible.

00:32:21:18 - 00:32:42:17

Bret

Yeah, I do too. So I don't shy away from the. But either my very first time I was on my honeymoon with mom, now. Ex-wife, I did not know what I was doing. I had not studied up on that. But I'm like, you know, we're sitting there, it's our honeymoon, and I'm here doggy style. And I'm kind of like, you know, I'm going to try this.

00:32:42:19 - 00:32:44:02

Luna

Like, as a surprise.

00:32:44:04 - 00:32:48:12

Bret

Oh, she got a surprise. No, she didn't like it. You know.

00:32:48:14 - 00:32:50:12

Luna

That's a pretty serious surprise.

00:32:50:14 - 00:33:10:01

Bret

Yeah, I got the wrong whole speech, and, she was mad at me for, about two. That was way later on in our in our marriage. I guess 3 or 4 years into it, I took and figure it out. I was like, okay, you gotta have lube, lots of lube, and you got to take and you got to slowly build up to it.

00:33:10:01 - 00:33:26:09

Bret

So you know, again, studying, studying, I mean, you know, reading movies, learning this, that. But I'll say this, do not just watch an anal movie and think, you know, everything there is to know, because there's a lot more that goes into that, that they don't show in these movies.

00:33:26:11 - 00:33:27:00

Luna

Absolutely.

00:33:27:00 - 00:33:28:01

Bret

I found that, and.

00:33:28:03 - 00:33:42:21

Luna

I wonder how many assholes have been deeply, deeply hurt by the amount that porn does not show, how much lube, how much prep, how many plugs are used. There have been a lot of painful asshole, I'm sure as a result. Hooray for research.

00:33:42:23 - 00:34:03:07

Bret

Yeah, we took and we studied. You know, I even had her studying with me. I'm like, okay, this is your part is my part. And we finally got to where, you know, we could actually do that. And it wasn't something that we did, you know, all the time, usually special occasions like, I don't know, birthdays, Christmas. That's with Valentine's Day, that sort of thing.

00:34:03:07 - 00:34:06:08

Bret

You know, those big holidays, you know, we would do that.

00:34:06:10 - 00:34:11:08

Luna

Now, I want to hear about your asshole and your cock and balls. If they like attention to.

00:34:11:10 - 00:34:23:01

Bret

Well, I've only had one experience with my asshole. It was with one of the three same partners. One night we were just. I guess we're just trying everything. And, next thing I know, you know,

00:34:23:03 - 00:34:24:11

Luna

You got a serious surprise.

00:34:24:13 - 00:34:36:03

Bret

Yeah, I was having sex with one of them, and next thing I know, I'm like, oh, wait a minute. Somebody's licking my ass. Wait a minute. I never tried. It's, you know, it's. I will admit I did enjoy it.

00:34:36:07 - 00:34:37:04

Luna

Okay, great.

00:34:37:09 - 00:34:59:08

Bret

She fingered it a little bit, but that was it. I've never had anything, you know, past that. Okay, I'd like to try it, but, you know, I mean, again, your partner and everything like that. But now what I like on my cock. I mean, you know, it can be anything from. I've done it rough. Denny's slow, I think slow, sensual is my favorite.

00:34:59:08 - 00:35:06:15

Bret

And my balls, they're just. Oh, God, they're so sensitive. It's it's crazy. I mean, really, you start playing around and I go last. Well, okay.

00:35:06:20 - 00:35:11:04

Luna

Oh, okay. So like, good like a good aroused, sensitive. Not like a, sensitive.

00:35:11:09 - 00:35:12:05

Bret

Yeah. Yeah.

00:35:12:05 - 00:35:16:12

Luna

Right. What kind of stimulation do they like? And do you touch them yourself when you're masturbating?

00:35:16:14 - 00:35:32:16

Bret

Yeah. If I'm by myself, I'll take. And I'll reach down and cup them and massage them a little bit. You know my wife, she has this thing with her nails. And if she's giving me a hand job, I know that at some point I'm will feel her nails just graze in the long hair. And that really sets me off.

00:35:32:21 - 00:35:51:10

Bret

What she'll do sometimes when she does that, she'll take and she'll look my nipples and we're off to the races. I mean, it's, you know, it's amazing. But memory balls were part of the initial story, too. When I was saying, she liked to play with my nipples, too, instead of just my cock. So I knew early on I had nipples.

00:35:51:10 - 00:36:03:01

Bret

And that's something that's just. And it's a trigger. So, you know, it's like, oh, okay. Yeah, we're going there. So she knows. She knows when she starts playing with my nipples that I'm going to get turned on.

00:36:03:05 - 00:36:10:14

Luna

Yeah. What are the most sensitive parts of your penis. And like how do you prefer to hold it and or give it pressure.

00:36:10:16 - 00:36:31:22

Bret

Well, the most sensitive part is actually right underneath the head. That's where I put most of my pressure, is when I'm actually using that part of it. Now, oddly enough, usually if a woman is on top for some reason, it just drives me wild. When she's on top and she's in control, there's one angle that they can hit and it's in reverse.

00:36:31:22 - 00:36:44:00

Bret

Cowgirl. I don't know why it's that position, but that one she takes and she gets reverse cowgirl leans forward and there's something about the texture. That area right there. And that's an amazing.

00:36:44:03 - 00:36:47:14

Luna

Yeah. But you get an ass to look at. That's great.

00:36:47:16 - 00:37:03:08

Bret

Yeah. For some reason me and her, we've only done that a couple times. I mean, my wife, I don't know why, but my dad, he told me once, he said I'm going to tell you something. He said, every man in this world. He said, searching for one thing. He said, very few of me ever find it. And I was like, what's that?

00:37:03:08 - 00:37:24:04

Bret

He said, the golden pussy. What is that? He said, it's the one for you. He said, that's the golden one. He said, the one that you find that you want to make yours. That's your golden pussy. He said, everybody's got one. You just got to find it, you know, it's totally, I guess, my found man.

00:37:24:06 - 00:37:32:00

Luna

Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. What other stuff do you enjoy together? Like, what do you like to do? What have you explored in 11 years?

00:37:32:02 - 00:37:53:05

Bret

She came from a rather open relationship with a guy. They actually went as far as actually swapping partners. And come to find out, she used to be a dominatrix for a while. She's had a slew of sex job. She was a stripper. She's a dominatrix. So, you know, she's she's kind of seen both sides of it.

00:37:53:07 - 00:38:12:02

Bret

And now she's never actually done the whole dominatrix thing with me. She did tie me up once, but she didn't want me or anything, but got some toys that we've not used for that. She knows how to kind of slap spanking and things like that. We've done that, but we've not used any of the whips or anything like that.

00:38:12:04 - 00:38:27:23

Bret

Whenever we first got together, the whole thing came up about her saying, well, I'm, I'm bisexual. You know, you need to know that about me. She said, I'm not going to cheat on you with any other guys. She said. But she said, you know, you have to understand that I'm to occasionally have a taste and want to own a woman.

00:38:27:23 - 00:38:49:21

Bret

And I'm like, okay, that's fine. I didn't realize that first time that I was invited to play. So we had pretty wild time. I mean, you know, it was the first time I'd had one of the three some previous to this, but that one, the women weren't really into each other. They were just into me. So I was like the center of attention.

00:38:49:23 - 00:39:11:15

Bret

But now with her, the women were into each other. And, you know, they started out and I'm sitting on the couch going, okay, yes, it's the fantasy. You're out here and, you know, clearly, and then you get your clothes off and jump in here, okay? You know, and it was just, I mean, you know, it was wild. And we live in an apartment.

00:39:11:15 - 00:39:32:04

Bret

At the time, we had neighbors beaten on the walls. Oh. So the first night it was just, I mean, it was all out and we had this rule, and she said. And she said, unless I tell you, the only person you can come on orien is me. I was like, okay, yeah, yeah, I can abide by the rules, you know?

00:39:32:06 - 00:39:52:23

Bret

And I thought that's where we were going. But it wasn't where we, we ended up because I'm on my back. The unicorn, I guess, was is the term they use for them. Now the unicorn is is giving me oral and my wife is like on my face. And I'm looking up at her and she's like shoot in her mouth.

00:39:52:23 - 00:40:14:09

Bret

And I'm like, what? You know is best. I can say that. Anyway. As best I can respond, I think I questioned her probably more with my eyes, you know, in my mouth I was, I was busy and she's like, I want you to shoot in her mouth. And I was like, oh, give her the thumbs up. And, you know, that was what was so great about that threesome because we were able to change it.

00:40:14:11 - 00:40:15:12

Bret

You know, On the Fly.

00:40:15:12 - 00:40:19:12

Luna

Is such a hot phrase.

00:40:19:14 - 00:40:20:02

Bret

Which is.

00:40:20:04 - 00:40:21:14

Luna

Really amazing.

00:40:21:18 - 00:40:40:01

Bret

Was that we did it again the next night. And I thought, well, same rules in play right now. Now that night she's like, she's going to ride you and I want you to come in. And I was like, are you serious? Are you sure? She said, yeah, the girl was in the bathroom. It's time. And I was like, okay, as long as you're serious and you're you're okay.

00:40:40:05 - 00:40:58:23

Bret

That was one of the most memorable nights that we had was that. But, you know, even without a partner there a third me and her, we can still have fantastic, amazing sex. I mean, we've done basically everything that I've ever wanted to do as far as between two people.

00:40:59:03 - 00:41:02:12

Luna

Like what? What? Is there anything that we don't know about? Yeah.

00:41:02:13 - 00:41:23:12

Bret

Well. Well, okay. This goes back into another relationship I had there was this one girl that I was dating, and one night she got mad at me, and she called me to come over to her house. And I went over and I went down on her, and she's like, well, how did he taste? And I'm like, what?

00:41:23:14 - 00:41:42:17

Bret

Well, come to find out what she had done, if she'd had sex with another guy before me and her so intent was for me to come over and go down on her, and she thought this was gonna, I don't know, piss me off or humiliate me or something. I was like, okay, you know? And which I guess maybe it's more my open mind.

00:41:42:17 - 00:42:03:02

Bret

I was like, okay, well, you know, wasn't that bad. Yeah. And I, you know, I mean, after I said my own, you know, enough to know, I'm like, okay, well, I didn't realize it. It's time I was turned on. I wasn't thinking, and I think it kind of threw her for a loop because the age gap between me and her, I was 33 and she was 21.

00:42:03:08 - 00:42:21:02

Bret

So I had been around the block a few times and she just I don't know what her plan was, but it didn't work. And, the whole thing about that relationship was I had done that to get back at my ex-wife because I was like, okay, I'm going to date this 21 year old. And, you know, just prove I could do it.

00:42:21:04 - 00:42:41:16

Bret

And that one day I'd never prove to her. He actually told me once. He said she looking for a home and it ain't gonna be here. I think I was like, okay. Yeah. My mom, she just looked at him when he said it, you know? And me and her laughed about that moment for years since then because he just.

00:42:41:18 - 00:43:10:01

Bret

But he was blunt as he could be at that moment. And, he had this one phrase that kind of reverberated throughout my whole sexual explorations up until I left his house. All because one night I came in with my shirt reversed by accident, I went in. This was, I guess I was still with the, the France with benefit when in the kitchen one night and I got me a soda out and he looked at me and he's like, let me tell you something, son.

00:43:10:01 - 00:43:30:03

Bret

He saw you earlier. He said that? Sure. It wasn't that way earlier. Hey, so sit down. Tell me about her. I sit down, I told him about her and he would notice me, you know, seeing her more and more and more and then one night, he's like. He's like, they just take and come over, work in the morning.

00:43:30:03 - 00:43:55:08

Bret

And I had to pick something up for him or something. I was like, okay, I'll be there about 1030, 11:00. He like pussy done wrong with you both. And he would say that. And that was just one of the phrases that he came up with. He said it that night. Next night he said it. I had gone off on a tour with a female rock band, that a buddy of mine got backstage tickets to.

00:43:55:10 - 00:44:08:21

Bret

We went. It was an 80s female rock band. So the big hair, you know, and we were backstage. And the late singer, she's like, I like you. You don't go on tour with us. I was like, okay, sure.

00:44:09:01 - 00:44:10:14

Luna

She just become a groupie.

00:44:10:16 - 00:44:30:07

Bret

Yeah. They're basically I meant, well, she she took a second hit me for herself. I mean, you know. Yeah. And at the time, you know, and finally I was like, yeah, this ain't working. I need to go home. I mean, I had a kid, which was probably not the smartest thing to do was I should have done that in reverse, went on tour and then had to kid later.

00:44:30:07 - 00:44:54:00

Bret

But, you know, didn't really have that choice. And dad came to get me with my friend who was navigating the vehicle. So, dad, come get me. You know how where they stopped on tour and let me hang out until my dad, I got in the car and that was the next time I heard it. He looked at me and he's like, you went off with a female rock man.

00:44:54:00 - 00:45:13:12

Bret

Just just nothing left. I said, yeah, I did. He's like, didn't teach you nothing in life, data. Plus, he didn't rewatch the sixth time I heard that live a and my buddy in the back, I mean, he was he was cracking up. I don't think we'd even down a mile. And he, like, if they were want to.

00:45:13:14 - 00:45:34:23

Bret

And I know just the one. He's like, no, man, I know you. He's like, you couldn't do just one. You had to do all of them. I said, no, just one. You know, he's like, now, now, now he's like, he's like you. I know you're like, you know, went on for days thinking that I had actually done more than one.

00:45:34:23 - 00:45:40:11

Bret

But now the one was the one who pretty much kept me to herself. So. Wow.

00:45:40:13 - 00:45:48:05

Luna

So here's my question. Do you agree with your dad? And what does that phrase mean to you? Like what is it signified to you throughout your life? Are you ruined?

00:45:48:05 - 00:46:09:13

Bret

Well, no, I'm not ruined. That back when I was younger, maybe I was. Oh, my definition of ruined was, you know, different date every night, different girl. And, you know, try to have much sex as I could, you know, with them. And, you know, I did that for a while. I took and I found all the local hot spots at the bars.

00:46:09:13 - 00:46:33:05

Bret

And basically, I mean, if there was a concert in town, you could find somebody who wanted to have sex. I mean, you know, but at the same time, you had you had to be smart about that because, you know, back in the late 80s, early 90s, this was Wednesdays really started to become paramount. And, you know, we were all hearing about that unwanted pregnancies.

00:46:33:05 - 00:46:55:05

Bret

And it's like, look, I don't know this girl from Adam. I, you know, if I met somebody, I might, Yeah. No, I'm not having a kid with her. You know, I'm not going to get anything from her. So back then, it was always like, wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. And you didn't didn't worry about it. You know, the next day you're, you're off to, you know, the next or whatever.

00:46:55:06 - 00:47:26:11

Bret

But with everything that has happened, you know, as far as, like, me too, and, you know, things like that to me, I don't think I could do that now like I did back then, because I want to take and I want to know this person, you know, before I have have sex with them. And that's something that I've learned with my wife is we take and we try to know the, the, you know, the unicorn when we can find them, which is getting harder to do against the world.

00:47:26:13 - 00:47:48:06

Bret

But, you know, we like to take and we like to have dinner a couple times. You know, whenever I first met her, she made me wait six dates before we would have sex. That was just kind of her podcast rule. So, you know, I learned with her that that's that's kind of the way to do it. Unless, of course, you know, it's straight up and that's what you're after is sex.

00:47:48:06 - 00:48:02:09

Bret

Then if everybody agrees then yeah, that's great. But you know, I kind of want to know people now. I mean, I want to know what they're about. What do they want to do? What's their secret fantasy or whatever, you know, that they want.

00:48:02:11 - 00:48:25:08

Luna

I need at least some basic human connection. I want to circle back or kind of make sure that we come full circle on this part, because as we're on the topic of sexual health and safety and, you know, circling back to sort of the like, I guess, mean intent, but maybe with a weird assumption frame of that girlfriend or partner that had had another cock inside her and then that you taste the aftermath.

00:48:25:14 - 00:48:25:19

Luna

Oh.

00:48:25:19 - 00:48:28:23

Bret

Yeah. The toxic relationship. Yeah. Know.

00:48:29:00 - 00:48:35:14

Luna

Have you ever done anything like that since or would you be interested? You know, is there a fun version of that for you? Basically.

00:48:35:16 - 00:48:56:06

Bret

I've done it myself. I've actually, you know, gotten off and then went down on her, you know, after that. Oh, fun. I don't have a problem with that. I mean, it's it's great. It's shocking because a lot of women are like, gals don't normally do this, and I'm like, it doesn't bother me. I mean, you know, it it didn't really bother me back then.

00:48:56:06 - 00:49:13:10

Bret

I mean, you know, I just kind of question it a little bit, but, you know, I mean, that was the only time that she ever did anything like that. But she was also a perfect example. I've had three relationships in my life that were toxic and they were women I had sex with first man. I went out with, I had one.

00:49:13:10 - 00:49:16:01

Bret

It was a one night stand. It became a two year nightmare.

00:49:16:01 - 00:49:32:09

Luna

So. Oh no. So here's my question. In a situation where you had a partner that was into dudes, is that something you'd be interested in exploring group sex wise? I know you're a straight guy, but are you hetero flexible? You sound flexible, which is the only reason I ask.

00:49:32:11 - 00:49:41:22

Bret

I mean, I I've, I've dreamt about it. I've had dreams about it in real life. And, you know, if the opportunity presented itself, you know, I, I probably would turn it down.

00:49:42:00 - 00:49:43:19

Luna

What else do you dream about?

00:49:43:21 - 00:50:03:14

Bret

I have dreams about these orgies, and I've never actually participated in one. But I would like all that once, you know. I mean, I've had I've had the threesomes, but, you know, like I told my wife, I said, you know, I said, I want something more, you know, like, I don't know, you know, five, six people maybe you know, something like that because I've never done anything like that.

00:50:03:14 - 00:50:22:12

Bret

I mean, the, the closest I came to having something remotely like that was me and a buddy of mine. We had these two girls over, and we were in the same room. And then the threesomes, and that's that's closest I've ever come to that. But I want one, you know, it's free and open. Do what you want.

00:50:22:14 - 00:50:40:10

Bret

My picture. The nice big, ginormous hotel room, you know, candles all around and all the important places and wine, maybe to drink. Not anything too hard. We don't want to, you know, be killing over each other, you know, whatever goes, goes, and whatever happens stays in the room. And you don't. You know.

00:50:40:12 - 00:50:47:10

Luna

Maybe you would get stripped naked first and strapped to something and everyone would have to inspect you first.

00:50:47:12 - 00:50:52:03

Bret

Which is not a bad. But yeah, that would be instinct. Yeah.

00:50:52:05 - 00:51:02:17

Luna

I always want to start a sex party or an orgy with like a little tableau that's kind of interactive. That's what I've been kind of like dreaming about for the future. Retro porn. Should we talk more about that, or was that just the origin story stuff?

00:51:02:19 - 00:51:25:01

Bret

We can, the retro porn thing. I think a lot of that comes from the fact that early on it was the magazines, and back then it was like, you know, you take need to see like, you know, everything. And it was like, wow, you know, which at the time I was looking at it, you know, I'm like, these people have hair in places I don't when I first started, but, you know, eventually I did I did see that.

00:51:25:03 - 00:51:35:14

Bret

And there's like several of the late 80s, early 90s porn stars that I got hooked on their movies and, you know, now follow them on OnlyFans and love, you know.

00:51:35:16 - 00:51:36:10

Luna

It's awesome.

00:51:36:15 - 00:51:58:06

Bret

Yeah. It's great. And I mean, you know, I've actually chatted with one of them, you know, and I'm like, whoa, this is cool. Yeah, she's very personable. And you tell she really, really cares about taking the time to to talk to people who are her fans. You know, like I said, I mean, you know, there's several of them that I follow, but, you know, I've only spoken with the one, you know, I just I always watch those movies.

00:51:58:06 - 00:52:23:14

Bret

And for some reason, even now, if I wanted to sit down and watch a porn, I'm like, okay, retro or 80s or 90s or, you know, something like that, or, or punch in the stars name, you know, and watch the movie and nowadays, most of it, it just seems like is gone. So there's no real storyline. And as cheesy as they were in the 80s, they did have storyline now, but like I said, they were cheesy.

00:52:23:14 - 00:52:32:15

Bret

But you know, it is still there was something to, you know, I missed that because I don't even know if they make those. Can they? Everything's online now anyway.

00:52:32:18 - 00:52:44:20

Luna

I'm sure someone does. I want to make really, really good beautiful like cinema with excellent sex scenes. Like I'm like, could we just make movies but with great sex scenes and just do X-rated ones? You know, it's like my dream.

00:52:44:22 - 00:52:55:02

Bret

Yeah, well, my wife, I think, was what she really lacked. And we actually had a lot of sex after watching it was, the whole series. Spartacus. Oh, yeah. That was on stuff.

00:52:55:04 - 00:52:55:15

Luna

Yeah.

00:52:55:17 - 00:53:06:13

Bret

Oh, man. Who? And me. I grew up with Gina, so when I saw her naked, I was like, wow, wait a minute. What was that?

00:53:06:15 - 00:53:07:07

Bret

Like.

00:53:07:09 - 00:53:15:12

Luna

Okay, are there any other, like, weird or great or terrible stories that we need to know about your sex life?

00:53:15:14 - 00:53:44:18

Bret

Yeah, yeah, there was one. It got me a great kid, but the experience itself, my wife time, which, like I said, my ex-wife. Now, she had gone on vacation. She was actually doing a nanny job at the time. They'd been on vacation for a week. She had her own room downstairs of the of the house. So, you know, we were we were getting together, you know, 3 or 4 times a week and having sex when she'd been gone and, you know, totally hot for each other.

00:53:44:18 - 00:54:07:05

Bret

It's like whenever she comes back, you know, we're just we're just going at it. And we did what we did not know. It's time was and Flo came to visit and and putting it Marcy it looked like a murder scene. The pull out method is what we had perfected with me and her. Because we had looked at her cycle and everything.

00:54:07:05 - 00:54:28:14

Bret

We thought we had it time perfectly. Any doctor who tells you that a woman cannot get pregnant when she's on her period is full of shit? Yeah, because we did twice it happened twice. I got three great kids out of it because, you know, that's what I had always heard. I mean, you know, from sex education all the way up, being a look, she's on her period.

00:54:28:14 - 00:54:29:07

Bret

You don't have to.

00:54:29:09 - 00:54:36:09

Luna

What they forget to mention is that sperm can live for up to a week, and that's ovulation window.

00:54:36:11 - 00:54:57:23

Bret

Yeah, they didn't tell us that either, but we're pretty sure it was that moment in time. That was also the moment we got caught by her mother, which was traumatizing on top of the situation. Yeah, her mom actually caught us and she's like, that's disgusting. Yeah, I'll go take a shower and then we'll talk, you know, you know, is basically one of those, look, I don't care what you do, you know?

00:54:57:23 - 00:55:19:12

Bret

Just don't do it in my house when I'm not here. And I'm like, okay. And then it came around of, well, should we do it while you're here or what? She's like, I don't care what you do in the room. She said, wait till everybody's asleep or something, you know, and we kind of got into a rhythm then before we got married after that, cause, I had this belief that I needed to be a man and take care of that.

00:55:20:00 - 00:55:37:10

Bret

So, then I got married, and that relationship lasted for 13 years, and it got toxic between two. And it's, you know, which this, this relationship. Now, I don't think that's going to happen because unlike with every other relationship, it's very rare that we argue so.

00:55:37:12 - 00:55:42:07

Luna

And it sounds like you are also getting along. It's not just like a bunch of buried feelings, right?

00:55:42:07 - 00:56:03:20

Bret

Yeah. You know, her past traumas really are our biggest issues, and it's stuff that she had buried for years. And I know eventually, you know, things like that are going to come out. She told me once. She said, I don't think any of my exes would have stayed in me. I'm hardheaded, I guess. She tried to kick me out once, so I just just go, just go.

00:56:03:20 - 00:56:25:19

Bret

I was like, okay, so I left. I went down to the grocery store and called her and said, what kind of ice cream do you want? You know, I didn't go further than the grocery store. Got her some ice cream, came back, and she forgave me for whatever I had, you know, and I knew her that well at that point, we'd been together for, I guess, about four years at that point.

00:56:25:21 - 00:56:48:22

Bret

But we've had so many, you know, life experiences together. I really couldn't see my life without her. And I don't think she could see hers without me. Our goal and I guess is kind of be, you know, kind of our sexual goal. We want to find a full time unicorn to be with us. You know, somebody was willing to be with us full time and just us and settle down.

00:56:49:00 - 00:56:51:16

Bret

I mean, we're willing to move her into the house.

00:56:51:18 - 00:56:52:20

Luna

Beautiful. Okay.

00:56:53:00 - 00:56:59:17

Bret

I don't know that we like to find it, but it'd be nice if we could in this area. It's just. I think it's where we're in the Bible Belt.

00:56:59:18 - 00:57:07:02

Luna

But you never know. And you've put out the call, and energetically, you just never know what might come in. And where. There's a will, there's a way.

00:57:07:04 - 00:57:28:09

Bret

Yeah, we've done it all. I think sometimes I mean, you know, we sit around and like we went through the questions, on the website, she was like, yeah. She said, you know, she said, I've had, you know, sex with like five guys at one time. And I was like, interested in, you know, she said she was at work and I think it was like a holiday thing.

00:57:28:09 - 00:57:34:10

Bret

And yeah, transparent with me. I was like, wow, okay. Yeah. You know.

00:57:34:12 - 00:57:38:00

Luna

Is there anything else that you want to say about sex in general?

00:57:38:08 - 00:57:54:09

Bret

I've always been a firm believer in make sure that everybody's on the same page before you dive in. Don't follow the whole anal plan. I didn't just think, okay, well, it's there. I'm just going to go for it. But because I learned there's few times I've been with women who would get wet enough that you could switch.

00:57:54:10 - 00:58:03:19

Bret

But not all women are that way. I mean, you know, I guess certain settings, you know, appropriate things get hot enough. You probably.

00:58:03:19 - 00:58:11:00

Luna

Yeah, it depends on how relaxed the asshole is and how much lube there is. Is the double back I love that, yeah.

00:58:11:02 - 00:58:17:16

Bret

I'm a firm believer of you can never have too much lube for that. Yeah. Yeah, you might have clean sheets next day, but hey, you know.

00:58:17:16 - 00:58:24:14

Luna

Yeah, it's worth it. Laundry. Well worth it. What other hopes do you have for your sex life going forward?

00:58:24:16 - 00:58:40:19

Bret

I mean, I hope to keep the relationship that we've got going. Like I said, I mean, you know, we'd like to find a, you know, permanent third. I just don't want the, you know, I mean, girls, we're approaching middle age now, unfortunately. And I know they've got, you know, drugs for whenever, you know, it doesn't work quite like it used to.

00:58:40:19 - 00:58:55:17

Bret

But, you know, I just want to take. And I want to keep her happy. And I know she wants to keep me happy. And I took her to a, to a concert last week. Let's put it this way. We had a rather nice after party, even though it was just the two of us. But it was, it's rather nice.

00:58:55:17 - 00:59:14:04

Bret

And that was. That was her birthday gift from me was the trip. And, rather nice hotel room with the hardest bed I think I've ever slept on in my life. I could stomach easier was the only bad thing. But everything else went great. And I don't think there's anything I wouldn't do for, you know, sexually or otherwise.

00:59:14:04 - 00:59:25:15

Bret

You know? And while we've done the whole thing of of two women just never come up with the guy because you keep saying she wouldn't want another guy, just me. So I must be doing something right.

00:59:25:17 - 00:59:35:22

Luna

It must be. It must be. Okay. So if you could go back in time and give younger you a piece of sex advice, what age or ages would you pick and what would you say?

00:59:36:00 - 00:59:59:20

Bret

I go back to 16 and tell him to take the dang condom. Go ahead and get one and take it. You know where we go. I mean, you know, I don't know that it would have changed anything in anything. You know, in the long run. I guess that was kind of to me, that was the one that got away because that was the thing I could have done that didn't do, you know, it would have moved my debut up a few months.

00:59:59:20 - 01:00:07:12

Bret

So, you know, I'm not saying the waves of the crashing bells would run then either. You know, I've been a little more ready. I think, you know.

01:00:07:14 - 01:00:08:22

Luna

It's always good to be ready.

01:00:09:00 - 01:00:19:06

Bret

Yeah, well, with her, I was kind of expecting it, you know, with the other one, I wasn't really expecting it. Which may have kind of played into, you know. Oh yeah. That initial performance issue. So.

01:00:19:08 - 01:00:34:15

Luna

Oh, really? Every nervous system shock is always going to be a performance. You know bump or some a new a new thing. Also regarding penises getting less hard as ages differentiate and increase, I feel like that's just always a good time to explore more.

01:00:34:15 - 01:00:51:11

Bret

But stuff to the point that I have learned in my exploration of porn. It's out there. I did have one thing I found out about squirting and I thought, okay, I'm going to see if I can make this happen. Ever since then, mission accomplished. Every time.

01:00:51:13 - 01:00:55:09

Luna

Oh, nice. Okay, see where there's a will? There's a way.

01:00:55:11 - 01:01:21:21

Bret

And it's all about the technique. I mean, and she has to be relaxed, but you get her relaxed and she says, I have magic fingers. There's three spots on her that I know that I can hit. And every time she, she's going to squirt. I mean, we've had to change sheets a few times, you know, the a single thing because they say, and you have to know your partner's body to make it happen all the time, but these squirters, apparently not all women are.

01:01:21:23 - 01:01:32:19

Luna

No, everybody's different. But I think anything that gets someone touched more if they like touches is great. I know some people are like, don't just make me squirt, but I'm like, touch me and all the words.

01:01:32:21 - 01:01:50:09

Bret

Yeah, that's what we do. Last week when we were at that concert, she she was laying there and she liked my butt naked and I'm like, oh, okay. You know. And that just kind of started it, you know? And I just started touching and we just went with that. And a lot of ways, I think spontaneous is best.

01:01:50:11 - 01:01:56:06

Bret

But, you know, sometimes you can plan it too and still have a still have a hard time too. So yeah.

01:01:56:06 - 01:02:04:10

Luna

As long as the planning allows for spontaneity, I think both can work. As long as it doesn't get too rigid. Either way, I think there's always kind of a nice balance.

01:02:04:12 - 01:02:16:23

Bret

Yeah, that's kind of where we've been. I mean, you know, it used to be morning sex and now it's kind of switched over to evening sex. I'm more of a morning person. She's more of an evening person. So I'm like, okay, well we'll go on your straight.

01:02:17:00 - 01:02:17:13

Luna

Totally.

01:02:17:18 - 01:02:36:10

Bret

That mean that I don't, you know, sometimes get the urge and you know, she's not up for it. So, you know, I take care of myself and if she's wanting it and I'm not up for it, you can take care of herself. I mean, you know, there's no hard, fast rule. I think a lot of people think that once you're married or in a relationship, you don't masturbate, but I disagree.

01:02:36:10 - 01:02:40:00

Bret

I think, you know, it feels good either way. I mean, yeah, yeah.

01:02:40:00 - 01:02:44:22

Luna

Fuck, yeah. Brett, thank you so much for sharing your six stories.

01:02:45:00 - 01:02:46:12

Bret

Yeah, I've enjoyed it.

01:02:46:14 - 01:02:49:02

Luna

Do you have a sex question for me?

01:02:49:04 - 01:02:58:00

Bret

You've kind of talked a lot about doing the whole mobile dungeon. Is that still a goal for you to actually take one like that?