24 w pansexual cis m switch in a polyamorous relationship with one partner and actively dating

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00:00:00:08 - 00:00:21:00

Luna

Our guest today is a 24 year old Caucasian male. He is pansexual. Is currently in a polyamorous relationship with one partner and is actively dating. He likes touching, sucking and fucking is a switch and goes back and forth depending on his mood. From Domme to sub has recently been deliciously submissive. He really likes getting oral, and making his partner feel good is what gets him going.

00:00:21:02 - 00:00:32:20

Luna

Currently he works in a factory assembling furniture and working a CNC machine, but his passion is being outdoors, camping and hiking from Toronto, Ontario. Currently living in the Kawartha Lakes region. Welcome, Caleb.

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Caleb

Hi. While. Thanks for having me.

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Luna

Hey, I'm happy to have you here. Can you first explain to us what a CNC machine is? Because it might not be exactly what people think.

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Caleb

So it's C and C machine CNC stands for in the woodworking industry. It's a computer numerically controlled machine. Basically it's just big computer controlled like drill and saw that has a whole bunch of interchangeable bits to cut and shape pieces of wood.

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Luna

I love it. I feel like I would be friends with it. I also feel like I like anything with a big drill.

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Caleb

It's very loud. You have to wear protection, and not many people are allowed to touch it because it's very expensive.

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Luna

It's cool. Okay, well, let's switch into things that maybe everyone else thinks is sexy, not just me. Okay, if you had to rate yourself today on a sexual shame a meter from 1 to 10, with ten being the most full of shame and one being lots of shame at all. Where do you fall today? Right now?

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Caleb

Here with you? It's like 2 or 3. Outside of the privacy of my bedroom, it's like 5 or 6.

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Luna

What makes a difference for you?

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Caleb

I think it's just the respect that not everybody out in public is interested in sexual behaviors. Well, they're out in public, so I don't particularly open up about that until it's, you know, brought to me to talk about.

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Luna

Totally.

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Caleb

It's not something that's like common conversation.

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Luna

I get that. Can you tell us what your sex life is like right now? And if you have any favorite parts?

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Caleb

The sex life right now is actually pretty good. My one partner, we're pretty active. Like I visit them. I try to visit at least once a month, and while I'm there, it's, you know, we do it a couple of times. Favorite parts of my sex life. The sex.

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Luna

Okay, great. Can you tell us what is sexy to.

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Caleb

The human body? I'm attracted to people, I guess. Like, have you ever heard of the Fibonacci sequence?

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Luna

Yeah, but for our listeners who haven't, tell us what part resonates with you.

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Caleb

The Fibonacci sequence is basically a sequence of numbers in math that makes, perfect spiral. And being autistic, that perfect spiral is a very attractive figure. And, you know, you can see that in breasts, but pretty much anywhere in the human body, you can figure out a place to fit that in, not to sequence spiral. And it's beautiful.

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Caleb

People in general aren't just amazing, just shapes and colors. Skin is so soft, like touch.

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Luna

It is so soft. It's so good to have touches. When do you feel the most sexy?

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Caleb

Honestly, pressure to the shower. Like when I'm clean and know that I'm not dirty. Like I don't have anything to worry about. There's no fear.

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Luna

Love that. What counts as sex for you?

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Caleb

Physical contact. Naked. Usually. Intercourse.

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Luna

When you were growing up, did you ever get an explicit health and safety talk or a lesson in consent?

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Caleb

Not really. No, but I could think of there was a point where my mom would get signs and like, you have really high sex drive and you got to take care of that. But there wasn't really much besides that. The lesson in consent? No, there was nothing that I can think of, really. Like there was sex ed in like, middle and high school, but there was no real, like, clear lesson in consent.

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Caleb

Yeah, I really wish there was. And there there should be if there isn't in all schools, everywhere.

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Luna

Yeah.

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Caleb

Everyone needs to learn consent before they become of age. To have sex is our term it.

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Luna

Yeah, it's a whole different way of relating.

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Caleb

Yeah. You need permission to contact someone else's body.

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Luna

Yeah. How did your mom know you had a high sex drive?

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Caleb

Probably because I would touch myself in the bath as a child, and I didn't know what I was doing, but they would walk in on it, and, like, my parents bathed me as a kid. So, you know, that's what you do. You explore yourself.

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Luna

I love that she wasn't shame me about it. I love that she just told you.

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Caleb

My dad was more thing.

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Luna

Okay.

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Caleb

I think my dad grew up Catholic and he didn't have a great relationship with his parents. So I think that some of the trauma that he had led down onto his kids. I was spanked as punishment. So that's not something that I'm particularly into. I'm sure I was ever put into a situation with someone that I trust, and it was done in a safe with, you know, consensual conversations.

00:04:37:12 - 00:04:42:20

Caleb

Then beforehand, I'm sure that my mind might change. But right now, you know, thinking about it gets my hands shaken.

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Luna

Yeah. On the other end of that spectrum, is there a moment that you have experienced where there has been a clear communication between you and a partner about something you both wanted? That turned out awesome, that you could share with us?

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Caleb

Absolutely. I was in a relationship last year, and my partner and I were staying in the same space together. We slept in the same bed, and there was one morning where I woke up, and they woke up before me a couple hours before me, left me to sleep in the bed. And when they were, you know, sitting around, they got horny and woke me up and asked me if they could suck my dick, to which I said yes, turned to leave.

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Caleb

And I think that's the best blowjob I've ever had.

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Luna

Amazing.

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Caleb

And it's one of the very few that I've actually had an orgasm from. It's hard to have an orgasm for a blowjob. Me personally.

00:05:29:21 - 00:05:41:12

Luna

Oh, yeah, that's extra awesome. And can you tell us now what, if anything, happens to your shame meter when it's time to have a safer sex conversation with a new partner?

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Caleb

Thanks to this video. So it's helped a lot. It's like having the terminology and knowing how to talk about it definitely helps. Yeah. Being polyamorous, I have partners that I can just talk about safe sex with. This past weekend, I actually watched on Netflix the show Sex Life. There's a lot of unhealthy behaviors in it. However, because me and my partners watch it as a group, we got to discuss a lot of the behaviors we were witnessing, like while it was happening.

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Caleb

And we were just like openly talking about all this, like sex behavior during this show. It was.

00:06:15:11 - 00:06:26:19

Luna

Love that. Yeah, that's like a dream. I love that. Great. Okay. And then just lastly, what is your favorite way specifically for that ideal sex conversation to unfold? Just so we can make an example for a future human to learn.

00:06:26:21 - 00:06:52:10

Caleb

Ideally in person, because it's not the kind of thing that's done over text, over text is actually pretty awkward to do it because like the tone of voice is important and it's better to get facial expression of someone to better understand the reaction about what you're talking about. And so a big part about safe sex conversations is if the person is not willing to talk about it or not comfortable with talking with it, they may not be a right partner for you.

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Caleb

If they're not going to have that conversation, then you can't trust them totally.

00:06:58:15 - 00:07:05:19

Luna

I will just say the people who were the most reticent in the conversations were the people where I had issues personally.

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Caleb

Yeah. If they're not willing to be safe in the most intimate thing you can do with them, then how can you trust them anywhere else in your life?

00:07:13:11 - 00:07:17:13

Luna

Great. I'm glad that you are taking your safety seriously and your partner's safety.

00:07:17:15 - 00:07:24:22

Caleb

Yeah, getting to know someone and going on dates beforehand helps with that, because you can get a better understanding of how the person talks and who they really are.

00:07:25:02 - 00:07:29:05

Luna

Yeah. Are you more of a dater or do you also do direct to fucking?

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Caleb

I like to date a little bit first. There's been a few situations where I fuck first. Then there have been where I go on dates first, you know? But.

00:07:40:11 - 00:07:53:11

Luna

So now we're going to go back into your early formative years. What is your first sex related memory or experience or impression that you can recall?

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Caleb

Well, being told not to touch myself in the bath.

00:07:56:21 - 00:07:57:23

Luna

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Caleb

Well I was like really young. It's probably the earliest I can think of next to that. I remember there's one room in my parent's old house where, I spent a good portion of my childhood. I grew up in a family of five. So younger brother and her sister.

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Luna

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Caleb

And we flip flopped around rooms as we got older. I had my own room at one point and a loft bed.

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Luna

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Caleb

And I distinctly remember that was where I had my first orgasm.

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Luna

Okay. Do you remember how old you were.

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Caleb

It must have been like 11 or something. I think I remember laying in bed like touching myself all over until eventually there was a mess. But it was like amazing. And it was like something I wanted to keep doing.

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Luna

Okay. Did the message you got about not touching yourself affect that desire at all, or was it sort of like,

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Caleb

It was more like something that isn't supposed to be done around people. It's not like something people want to see. So keep it to yourself.

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Luna

Okay. And then, like, when did you start to really feel like you understood what sex was?

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Caleb

Probably shortly after that, when I discovered porn.

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Luna

Okay. How did you discover porn?

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Caleb

It's tough to think about because I don't really know. When I discovered porn. It's just there at some.

00:09:08:15 - 00:09:11:17

Luna

Okay. So it just enters your periphery? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Not every memory stays.

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Caleb

It's almost embarrassing. But, like, I know that at a young age, I wanted to find, like, escorts. Like trying to find people to pay, to have sex. But being underage, that's not something that's even possible that you can even do legally. So it never ended up happening. But I know they looked it up and did research about it.

00:09:27:02 - 00:09:49:20

Caleb

I knew that I wanted to pleasure like females. My dad was straight and he had it, so that's kind of what I figured that I was supposed to do. I definitely did lots of research on how to give women orgasms and female pleasure, and that probably led to a lot of finding porn and learning about that. Yeah. My very first email with my name and last name my dad deleted, like from Google.

00:09:49:21 - 00:10:03:05

Caleb

I can no longer get that email back. What? Because one day he signed into it. And in the spam folder, there was so much porn that he was like, this is unacceptable. You're not allowed to have an email account and deleted my email.

00:10:03:07 - 00:10:05:05

Luna

Oh, man.

00:10:05:07 - 00:10:27:21

Caleb

To which I later found out that my dad also had a porn addiction. I found this out from my mom. That was when I was probably 15 or 16. I can't picture it. I don't know how that worked. It's like we had computers in our house, but I never found magazines. I never found videos or anything like. You must have known how to clear his history or something, or I don't know.

00:10:27:23 - 00:10:38:10

Caleb

I don't really think about it much. Yeah? Yeah. My mom told me he was the porn, so it must have been some issue between them about that. Like, mom was very Christian. I told you, my daughter is Catholic.

00:10:38:12 - 00:10:38:15

Luna

Yeah.

00:10:38:16 - 00:10:55:12

Caleb

So growing up, I was. I don't want to say forced, but they took me to church, and a lot of times I'd stay up late on Saturday night, sleep in Sunday morning or want to sleep in. And I wouldn't get up in time to go to church and I wouldn't want to go. So it was a fight. I'm sure you've heard because lots of people in this have had religious parents.

00:10:55:12 - 00:11:14:05

Caleb

Part of Christianity is like no sex before marriage. Anything sexual before marriage is a sin. If you saying you go to hell, that whole Jesus forgives, that's for forgiveness kind of thing. Yeah. Make sure you go to church and pray. Do as much as you can to be like God and all that. Stuff like that was ground into me as a kid.

00:11:14:05 - 00:11:17:06

Caleb

So, like, I think that part of my shame comes from that.

00:11:17:09 - 00:11:26:14

Luna

Okay. So it it's stuck on you like there was a part of you believe that? Okay. Bummer. Okay. Hearing that your dad was addicted to affect your relationship with porn at all.

00:11:26:16 - 00:11:30:12

Caleb

Not really. I still use it when I'm on my own if I need to.

00:11:30:16 - 00:11:44:01

Luna

Okay. We have kind of a conservative ish. Do you have a lot of more religious friends, or was it kind of open because Toronto people overall seem pretty cool? I've only talked to a handful of you, but like, it seems pretty cool.

00:11:44:03 - 00:11:50:23

Caleb

We are. Thank you. I mean, I would think anyway, from junior kindergarten to grade three, I went to a private Christian school.

00:11:51:00 - 00:11:51:14

Luna

Okay.

00:11:51:16 - 00:11:57:06

Caleb

And then in grade four to grade eight, I changed schools to another private Christian school.

00:11:57:07 - 00:11:58:00

Luna

Okay.

00:11:58:01 - 00:12:14:02

Caleb

Where I had Bible class, like, once or twice a week. Sex ed was mostly anatomy based. It wasn't like pleasure based. It was like, protect yourself. These are the parts. Here's how it works. Stay safe and remember that you can't have sex until you're married.

00:12:14:07 - 00:12:22:02

Luna

Wow. Okay. Were you still masturbating? Were they okay with masturbation? Or were you kind of just doing it anyway because it felt so good? Or like, what was that like?

00:12:22:04 - 00:12:25:05

Caleb

I was probably doing it anyway, just because, you know, I was a teenager.

00:12:25:08 - 00:12:25:19

Luna

Yeah.

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Caleb

And honestly, I'm pretty sure that a lot of the people in my school were I'm sure that everybody was some age.

00:12:32:20 - 00:12:42:21

Luna

Hope so. I don't know, I talked to a lot of people that didn't start until maybe their 20s or sometimes even just oh. But now the internet. You're younger than me too. So, like, now there's the internet. Yeah. Yeah.

00:12:42:23 - 00:12:48:08

Caleb

That's true. The internet's everywhere. And, like, kids are handed phones out of the womb these days, so it's true.

00:12:48:10 - 00:12:55:11

Luna

So what about your explorations with partners before losing your virginity? Did you have contact with others before then?

00:12:55:13 - 00:13:22:11

Caleb

So on my mom's side, my grandparents met at a Christian summer camp. Okay. That started back in like the 1940s. And then my mom, when she was had, she was sent to that summer camp as a camper. And then I eventually worked there at staff. I worked there as well as well as was a camper there. Now, the way that the camp work was, they had the discovery camp ages 4 to 10 and then boys camp, girls camp, which is 11 to 16.

00:13:22:13 - 00:13:39:23

Caleb

So they kept the boys and the girls separate across like a couple acres of property. So the girls had a camp, had a zip line. The boys had a camp, had a slide into the lake, and once a week each section of the boys camp would go over and use the zip line in the girls camp. And once or twice a week the girls would come over and use the slide at boys camp.

00:13:39:23 - 00:14:00:19

Caleb

So, you know, we'd get this like little tease of like, oh, hey, there's the other, there's the other sex, and everybody there come over and you get to like, get like a little sneak peek, like there's other people around. No, I was a staff. And as a staff, you know, the staff show up early in the summer. I'd show up during spring, crew and help set up and then work over the summer until the end of the summer, when school started or whatever.

00:14:00:21 - 00:14:24:05

Caleb

I met all sorts of people during spring through and relationships build and develop. I think that was the first real, most important intimate relationship I had with someone at camp. It was not a healthy relationship, but it wasn't. And we had a lot of fun with the intimates we had. The first time I ever went down on someone, it was interesting because she didn't shave.

00:14:24:07 - 00:14:26:10

Caleb

I've never seen pubes that long before.

00:14:26:12 - 00:14:29:01

Luna

Oh, a proper bush.

00:14:29:03 - 00:14:32:04

Caleb

I've never seen pubes that long since as well.

00:14:32:06 - 00:14:32:15

Luna

Wow.

00:14:32:16 - 00:14:36:20

Caleb

Yeah, it was a lot of pubes. It wasn't a bad thing because, like, I was getting.

00:14:36:20 - 00:14:39:16

Luna

Pussy. Yeah. It's just not what you see in porn, usually.

00:14:39:18 - 00:14:59:17

Caleb

It was not what I see in porn. It wasn't what I was expecting. Yeah, like she didn't trim or shave or anything, and it looked like she hadn't ever. It was quite the experience. I would have been 19. That was my first experience with a vagina, but it was my first, like longer term experience with one person. Because it was over the course of like the spring and summer was a few months.

00:14:59:18 - 00:15:09:00

Caleb

I had a girlfriend before, but like, I think I saw her four times and I didn't really know what I was doing at the time. I don't remember it much. It was not a good relationship.

00:15:09:02 - 00:15:09:21

Luna

Okay.

00:15:09:23 - 00:15:23:14

Caleb

Yeah. So camp it kind of gave me an opportunity to experiment with what I had learned in it. And I think she had a good time as far as I could tell. Anyways considering how it kept happening.

00:15:23:19 - 00:15:26:06

Luna

Okay. I do get indication.

00:15:26:08 - 00:15:54:13

Caleb

We wrote notes back and forth to each other and it was steamy because like the way the camp work was, like you'd write handwritten notes and then deliver them to the office, and then someone would bring them back and forth, deliver them by hand at meals. When someone write your notes, you'd get them at like breakfast or something, and if it was like from girls camp, everyone be like, ooh, girl, I get those notes and get all the attention and then get to read them and yeah, it was fun.

00:15:54:15 - 00:16:06:10

Luna

That's awesome. I love having, like, messengers delivering love notes. That's so romantic. Okay, so what was the next part of your unfolding sexually, and did that ever include oral for you?

00:16:06:12 - 00:16:12:15

Caleb

I think it did, but because she didn't have much experience, it wasn't great.

00:16:12:20 - 00:16:13:04

Luna

Okay.

00:16:13:08 - 00:16:30:13

Caleb

I don't think she did too much oral on me because she wasn't really into giving oral. Yeah. She didn't really like it. So I was like, that's fine, whatever. But, lots of hand stuff. Okay. After that, the summer of that relationship was the summer before my college started. When I went to college and moved away from camp, as everybody does in the summer.

00:16:30:19 - 00:16:47:01

Caleb

I live at the rez is what it was called, gets school housing, and that's where I met my first longer term partner. However, she wouldn't have sex with me. I was a virgin and I told her this and she said, you can come back and we can have sex. Once you've had sex with someone else and learned.

00:16:47:03 - 00:16:48:14

Luna

She said that to you?

00:16:48:16 - 00:16:49:04

Caleb

Yeah.

00:16:49:06 - 00:16:51:14

Luna

Yeah. I've had people say that to me too.

00:16:51:16 - 00:17:12:18

Caleb

It was like, okay, I guess that makes sense. And like, I was really attracted to her. I was like, I want to do this. So I think 2017, the start of winter 2017, there was this chance meetup, and I think I was talking to a couple people at the time. I've always been talking to like more than one person at a time, and I've never really identified as polyamorous until recently.

00:17:12:20 - 00:17:13:04

Luna

Yeah.

00:17:13:09 - 00:17:20:11

Caleb

When I started dating someone else that's also poly, and they taught me a lot of the stuff. I've always been interested in talking to multiple people at once because, like, why not?

00:17:20:15 - 00:17:21:22

Luna

Yeah, I get it.

00:17:22:00 - 00:17:52:11

Caleb

So I was talking to someone from camp who actually was a friend of mine's sister. Like someone from camp that I was really close with. It was his sister. And I think she goes like a year or two younger than me. Her and I started talking and they got close, and I spent the night at her house sometime, I think, around Christmas or something, and I was staying in her brother's room, and she texted me to, like, sneak into her room and she, got on top of me and was grinding on me.

00:17:52:13 - 00:17:56:21

Caleb

There was no, like, penetration or anything, but that was my first, like, skin on skin contact.

00:17:56:23 - 00:17:58:08

Luna

That is something I think that's amazing.

00:17:58:08 - 00:18:11:23

Caleb

She was so wet just rubbing on my cock. It was only like a couple of minutes and then she, like, sent me back to her brother's room. It was so much fun. The whole thing with her house was like her parents. They could hear everything. I was blown away about how much they could hear. Like they could hear.

00:18:11:23 - 00:18:15:11

Caleb

Like the door opening and the sound of footsteps on the carpet.

00:18:15:12 - 00:18:16:00

Luna

Oh, wow.

00:18:16:02 - 00:18:32:12

Caleb

Over the air conditioning. I was like, no, there's no way they can hear this. And she was like, yes, I can't sneak out and do anything. But yeah, so that happened to her at Christmas. And then comes the next year. I went back and met up with the girl that I'd met the previous fall and told her that I had sex, but I hadn't really.

00:18:32:12 - 00:18:35:09

Caleb

I just thought I had. I thought that's what sex was kind of.

00:18:35:11 - 00:18:36:19

Luna

It's one definition.

00:18:36:21 - 00:18:37:22

Caleb

It was enough for me.

00:18:38:01 - 00:18:38:08

Luna

Yeah.

00:18:38:12 - 00:18:45:11

Caleb

And her and I hooked up and she told me that she could tell it was my first time and that I hadn't done it before.

00:18:45:13 - 00:18:51:16

Luna

Oh, but did she tell you how. How she knew. Like, did she give you actual instruction or just sort of criticize you?

00:18:51:18 - 00:18:54:12

Caleb

She just sort of criticized me and said, like, it wasn't that good.

00:18:54:14 - 00:18:55:04

Luna

Let's remember.

00:18:55:07 - 00:18:59:14

Caleb

However, it was good enough for her to keep coming back for more.

00:18:59:16 - 00:19:01:21

Luna

Okay. How was that for you?

00:19:01:23 - 00:19:07:17

Caleb

Well, I'm well-endowed, as I've heard other people say. Size doesn't matter. It's more so how you use it.

00:19:07:19 - 00:19:08:19

Luna

It is the most important thing.

00:19:08:21 - 00:19:12:21

Caleb

Size is good and it depends. Everybody has preferences. So that's what I've learned.

00:19:13:00 - 00:19:13:12

Luna

Yep.

00:19:13:14 - 00:19:17:16

Caleb

Just like I've used the cock ring before. But the one that I had was almost too tight.

00:19:17:16 - 00:19:18:06

Luna

Okay.

00:19:18:07 - 00:19:33:06

Caleb

Or too small and almost hurt to leave on. Hard 8 to 8 and a half and soft like 3 to 4. But yeah. So she ended up liking sex, so I guess she came back for more. And that relationship ended up being sort of on and off for like.

00:19:33:08 - 00:19:33:15

Luna

Nearly.

00:19:33:15 - 00:19:34:12

Caleb

Three years.

00:19:34:13 - 00:19:35:18

Luna

Oh, wow. Okay.

00:19:35:18 - 00:19:49:05

Caleb

Yeah, I met her in 2017 and we were hooking up through college. And then like, we dated and broke up and dated and broke up and she cheated on me once or twice. I ended up moving in with her and living with her for a full year.

00:19:49:06 - 00:19:54:18

Luna

What was your sex like? Did it get better? Was there more of it? Did you have fun? Did you learn stuff?

00:19:54:20 - 00:20:12:21

Caleb

The sex was good. Yeah. Actually, I would visit her. I would burn my mom's car, and I would drive up to her because she was, like, an hour away. Okay. I would take my parents car, drive up to her at like, midnight when my parents were asleep. We'd have sex and total and have an energy drink and watch a TV show or something, take a bath.

00:20:12:23 - 00:20:22:06

Caleb

And then I would drive back home for like ten, 20 bucks to my parent's car and take it asleep for an hour and pretend like nothing ever happened. I don't think my parents knew I was doing it.

00:20:22:11 - 00:20:30:07

Luna

That is such an extreme version of sneaking out. Also, I can't believe you didn't sleep very much, but that's great and very hot. Okay, yeah.

00:20:30:07 - 00:20:46:03

Caleb

Until eventually I moved in with her. And then, like, the sex was pretty regular. She was on anti-depressants. That really messed with her sensitivity and her sex drive. I ended up buying a magic wand, and that thing is powerful.

00:20:46:07 - 00:20:47:11

Luna

It sure is. Wow.

00:20:47:13 - 00:20:51:09

Caleb

Yeah, I've had hands free orgasms. Is that thing you have?

00:20:51:10 - 00:20:54:08

Luna

How where did you where you put it? Where do you what do you do with it?

00:20:54:10 - 00:20:59:06

Caleb

I would basically leave it on the underside of my dick right near the head.

00:20:59:06 - 00:20:59:14

Luna

Yeah.

00:20:59:18 - 00:21:03:13

Caleb

And just basically leave it there until I would come.

00:21:03:15 - 00:21:05:10

Luna

Like, not touching it or do hold it.

00:21:05:16 - 00:21:06:21

Caleb

I would hold it there.

00:21:06:23 - 00:21:11:00

Luna

To hold it with like pressure from the top. Or do you like just hold it in place?

00:21:11:01 - 00:21:21:03

Caleb

I would lay on my back and kind of put the magic wand vertically, like parallel to my penis. Okay, put the vibrating end on the underside of I did hot.

00:21:21:04 - 00:21:27:00

Luna

Okay, so here's the question. When you come like that, does it just spurt straight up or do you aim it or do you try to catch it?

00:21:27:02 - 00:21:27:20

Caleb

Didn't shoot straight.

00:21:27:20 - 00:21:31:04

Luna

Up. That's so cool. Have you captured that in SLO mo?

00:21:31:06 - 00:21:36:10

Caleb

Not yet. But that's partially because I didn't have a good enough camera and haven't thought to.

00:21:36:10 - 00:21:37:22

Luna

But now you do.

00:21:38:00 - 00:21:39:12

Caleb

And also, she kept the magic wand.

00:21:39:15 - 00:21:43:17

Luna

Oh, okay. So when did this relationship. In 2020.

00:21:43:17 - 00:21:52:10

Caleb

You said I moved in with her in 2020, around April, and lived with her until 2021. Around April.

00:21:52:12 - 00:21:59:11

Luna

So while you were together, were you dating anyone? Like, did you ever fuck other people? Were you polyamorous then, or is that a more recent development?

00:21:59:11 - 00:22:18:20

Caleb

No, no. At the time I was pretty monogamous. She had borderline personality disorder, and because of that had a lot of, like, slips, like trust issues. Like she would spontaneously accuse me of cheating simply because I was like, for too long if I was going to get groceries or going to get gas or something, she'd be like, are you cheating on me?

00:22:18:20 - 00:22:30:20

Caleb

It's like, no, how would I even do that? She would go through my phone paranoid that I was talking to other people. I think she was paranoid that I was going to leave her. She had commitment issues and anxious attachment style.

00:22:30:21 - 00:22:45:02

Luna

I get that, yeah I have abandonment stuff. Just to be really clear normally that every new person I'm like you're going to leave soon. Yeah I'm gonna explode you you know. And then that actualize is I have the time. Okay. Wow. That one's really, really tough. Especially for a first big relationship.

00:22:45:04 - 00:22:57:13

Caleb

It was difficult. Yeah. And, like, I was in love with her at the time. So I took care of her and did what I could to help in any way that I could. Like. I wanted it to be easier, but the sex, anyway, the sex was good. She was a squirter.

00:22:57:15 - 00:22:58:01

Luna

Okay.

00:22:58:03 - 00:23:15:03

Caleb

I got heard of squirt a lot. That's part of the thing that I was researching as a child. Like, part of the reason that my dad believed my email. Because I had all these, like, here's how this gets people to squirt. Like, use this technique, like, yeah, learn this thing here on the internet. Like, there are techniques and stuff, but a lot of it's just paying attention to each person you're with.

00:23:15:05 - 00:23:19:13

Luna

Yeah. Can you say a little bit more about that? Have you noticed differences in other partners?

00:23:19:15 - 00:23:36:07

Caleb

My partner that I'm currently with also squirts. And she likes deeper, rougher sex. But I found that using kind of my two, like my middle finger on my ring finger and kind of using a come here motion, I'm while fingering her like, like putting my fingers in and out and using the come here kind of just finger her G-spot.

00:23:36:07 - 00:23:41:17

Caleb

I think it is using my thumb on her clit gets her to just absolutely fill my hand with juice.

00:23:41:17 - 00:23:43:05

Luna

Like, so cool.

00:23:43:08 - 00:23:50:17

Caleb

Like she knows that she squirts. We have to put it to hold on every time to keep the dead from getting soaked. Yeah, we have yet to invest in other waterproof bed covers.

00:23:50:19 - 00:24:07:07

Luna

They should also should be water. I know, I know, all the sex, all this stuff to have like good, really convenient, nice. Sex is kind of expensive. I feel you, but towels are good in the meantime to soak it all up. When did you realize that you were into pleasing your other partners? Like, when was that? Like a conscious thing for you?

00:24:07:09 - 00:24:26:10

Caleb

I don't know, like as a young adult, I was always into the female orgasm and getting my partner to come because like, that's what's hot. Like, if I can get you to come so much that you want to please me, then that's the thing that I want to do. If you're having such a good time that you want to please me, then unhappy.

00:24:26:12 - 00:24:38:06

Luna

That's amazing. Okay. And then when it comes to you being pleased, what do you like? What really feels good? Assuming that someone's just focused on your core. Maybe with me. With the hands. Like, what do you like to receive from partners?

00:24:38:08 - 00:24:55:01

Caleb

So definitely the tip is more sensitive. I am circumcised, so when I'm hard, like, the skin around my penis is what I use to like jerk off the top like thumb and finger. Yeah, like basically go over the tip just a little bit and the rest of it is holding the skin and the skin is moving along the shaft.

00:24:55:07 - 00:25:00:04

Caleb

If you're not using lube, I don't use lube often because like, it's cleaner.

00:25:00:06 - 00:25:01:07

Luna

Yeah.

00:25:01:09 - 00:25:05:05

Caleb

The less cleanup you have to do afterwards, the easier it is to relax into the aura.

00:25:05:07 - 00:25:17:23

Luna

I'm going to be honest, I'm not confident when it comes to dry handed handjobs. I do like to have a new penis owning partner, like show me how they do it or use my hand if it's as if it's theirs. But because I have no, I would, I don't know, I just panic about it. Maybe you don't.

00:25:17:23 - 00:25:18:11

Caleb

Have the feel.

00:25:18:11 - 00:25:20:00

Luna

For it. I don't have feedback. I don't.

00:25:20:00 - 00:25:20:07

Caleb

Like your.

00:25:20:07 - 00:25:32:01

Luna

Body. You're not my body. I don't have any feedback. And I've had so many partners that just sit there silently or don't give feedback on them. Okay, you can stop now. Like, that was a lot of my formative experiences. So I'm like, we'll have to happening.

00:25:32:03 - 00:25:39:22

Caleb

I've been working on talking about what feels good when I'm with my current partners. It's been tough to talk about what feels good, especially in the moment.

00:25:40:00 - 00:25:50:04

Luna

Okay, that was my question. Do you talk about it with your partners and then do you show them how to do dry hand drugs, or do you usually get lube with them, or do they just go straight to mouths? Because that's what I know with.

00:25:50:10 - 00:25:58:07

Caleb

My current partner. Doesn't actually give me any handjob like a lot of it starts with over the clothing and then clothes come off and they go straight into a blowjob.

00:25:58:09 - 00:26:03:16

Luna

Yeah, because I'm not confident with Handjobs, I'll often turn it into like dry humping or grinding or I'll do a lot of play.

00:26:03:16 - 00:26:06:05

Caleb

I handjobs like, I almost like the best blowjob.

00:26:06:06 - 00:26:06:18

Luna

I want to get.

00:26:06:18 - 00:26:21:17

Caleb

Better at because, like, as good as a blowjob is like, everyone does it differently and it's not always good. Like because the tip of my dick is so sensitive. Like I almost prefer like more focus of the tip and. If you like Deep Throat and you did for me, it's not always going to feel good for.

00:26:21:17 - 00:26:22:12

Luna

Me I get it.

00:26:22:17 - 00:26:54:19

Caleb

I do like giving oral. I haven't given a blowjob yet so I will get back to you about that when that happens. I'm sure with the right person it will happen. However, giving oral to female bodied people is absolutely amazing. Being able to kiss down someone's body and kiss around their clit and around their vagina until they're basically begging for more, and then to give them that initial contact forces them to take a deep breath because it's so much stimulation.

00:26:54:21 - 00:27:10:14

Caleb

It's so satisfying. And I just love the way that, like the vagina, like people's vision and smells and tastes, it's like so sweet and floral and like, everyone's different in their own little way. Yeah, it's just amazing.

00:27:10:16 - 00:27:15:06

Luna

Okay, so have you done any anal explorations in either direction?

00:27:15:07 - 00:27:20:06

Caleb

Just this weekend. First experience on either direction? Yes. Before receiving.

00:27:20:11 - 00:27:20:21

Luna

Okay.

00:27:20:21 - 00:27:23:14

Caleb

However, giving anal was my first time this weekend with my partner.

00:27:23:15 - 00:27:27:13

Luna

Wonderful. Okay, tell us about this weekend. It's so fresh this weekend.

00:27:27:13 - 00:27:46:05

Caleb

It's so fresh. So my prior visits, I told my partner I wanted to take her eyes and she was like, okay, I'm not really ready yet. So this time, when I visited, because I had a couple days there, she was like, okay, we'll try this. She bought lube prior and already has a handful of toys. I started by playing with her pussy a little bit and warming her up.

00:27:46:05 - 00:28:05:06

Caleb

I tried to give her an orgasm before we actually started doing anal warming up and like playing with the clit and saying that's her pussy a little bit. Once she was warmed up, she got her knees and the bottom of lube we had wasn't working well. It was one of those like squirt bottles where you like, you pump it to sort it out and it has a long like straw.

00:28:05:06 - 00:28:22:15

Caleb

So you put it in and it wasn't working. Well, it's the first time we use it. Kind of annoying, but there was enough. I start with a finger and a small toy until she was ready for the next toy. The next one she had was actually too big. She has like a like, I think an 8 or 10 inch dildo that has no flared base.

00:28:22:15 - 00:28:39:21

Caleb

So I was just kind of holding it. I can take it in my ass. But she couldn't, at least at the time. Perhaps it's really tight. Maybe it was just because it was the first time in a long time that she'd done that. After doing a small toy, she said, just put it in and I had a condom on and lived up myself, and I fucked her ass.

00:28:39:23 - 00:28:49:07

Caleb

I don't want to say it wasn't good, but it wasn't that okay. What was interesting was being able to, like, single her while I was fucking her ass and steal my dick in her ass or pussy.

00:28:49:09 - 00:28:51:02

Luna

Isn't that so cool? It was.

00:28:51:02 - 00:28:51:18

Caleb

So cool.

00:28:51:18 - 00:28:54:10

Luna

How did you tell her that you could feel it?

00:28:54:12 - 00:29:02:09

Caleb

Yeah, I think I did. I don't remember it was there was so much happening, I didn't actually end up coming from that. Just because, like, there was so much happening.

00:29:02:09 - 00:29:03:19

Luna

It's a lot of new. It's a lot of new.

00:29:03:19 - 00:29:04:19

Caleb

Yeah, it was a lot of new.

00:29:04:22 - 00:29:07:01

Luna

Yeah. How was it for her?

00:29:07:03 - 00:29:08:09

Caleb

Yeah, she said she liked it.

00:29:08:11 - 00:29:09:16

Luna

Was it new for her too?

00:29:09:18 - 00:29:19:04

Caleb

No. She's done it once or twice before. Okay. We hadn't talked about it much. I haven't talked about her previous experiences with her yet, but that's, you know, to be brought up in the future.

00:29:19:05 - 00:29:27:05

Luna

Totally. I feel like also, unless someone's like, hi, I'm a slut, then it's probably somewhere in between. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, do you want to put it in my head?

00:29:27:07 - 00:29:32:02

Caleb

Like it's pretty abusive partners in the past, so some things are hard to talk about. And that's probably why it has.

00:29:32:02 - 00:29:38:18

Luna

But yeah, sometimes assholes just need a little tender loving care to get met by a nice new human.

00:29:38:20 - 00:29:54:00

Caleb

As for me, though, I've had all kinds of things in my ass when I was the kid, I was curious. And I'd put things in there. Yeah, because, like, it's a whole. It feels good. Totally. So not knowing really what to properly put in there. I've done like pencils and pens and like tampons and things.

00:29:54:02 - 00:29:58:11

Luna

Look, if they don't teach us in kindergarten, what are we going to do? We're going to get creative.

00:29:58:13 - 00:30:09:23

Caleb

Some of the ones that I'm probably most shameful about. I sat on a plunger, a wooden handled plunger. Yeah, it wasn't a great idea. Currently I have like a handful of the steel plugs.

00:30:10:01 - 00:30:10:08

Luna

Okay.

00:30:10:13 - 00:30:15:12

Caleb

And prostate toy silicone toy that I don't use often, but it's there.

00:30:15:15 - 00:30:16:04

Luna

Okay.

00:30:16:06 - 00:30:20:20

Caleb

My partner has strap on, cheats for romance with lots of fun.

00:30:20:22 - 00:30:23:04

Luna

Okay. Is that a regular occurrence?

00:30:23:06 - 00:30:26:07

Caleb

Not regular. It's happened, I think 2 or 3 times. No.

00:30:26:13 - 00:30:27:23

Luna

How do you like to be warmed up?

00:30:28:04 - 00:30:40:12

Caleb

Definitely like to have my dick played with a little bit. And she ate my ass last time I was there, and it was good. It's not something that I had done before, but it was good. I think I need to try it a couple more times to get a better understanding of it.

00:30:40:17 - 00:30:49:00

Luna

I'm going to say, were you able to relax enough to even feel good? I think the first several times for me, I was like, it's okay. You know? Like I was so nervous.

00:30:49:03 - 00:30:52:21

Caleb

Yeah, I definitely think I need to try it again, be more relaxed because it was first time.

00:30:52:21 - 00:31:00:10

Luna

Yeah, yeah. I also had a partner that was like really into it. So there was no fear on my part of like, what if they don't like it? It was just.

00:31:00:10 - 00:31:06:18

Caleb

Like, and I haven't been with someone that's been really into it, like my partner now like is into it, but not like, let's do this.

00:31:06:18 - 00:31:07:06

Luna

Yeah, yeah.

00:31:07:06 - 00:31:08:01

Caleb

This to you?

00:31:08:03 - 00:31:16:14

Luna

Yeah yeah. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Cool. Do you fuck yourself in the ass? I was part of your, like masturbation on the regular. Was it more for special occasions or what.

00:31:16:14 - 00:31:22:23

Caleb

Do you. Not on the regular but sometimes. Yeah. Once again it's one of those things that like it takes a little bit of prep and clean up afterwards.

00:31:23:04 - 00:31:23:12

Luna

That makes.

00:31:23:12 - 00:31:26:16

Caleb

Sense. So if I have the patience and the time to, then yeah, I will.

00:31:26:21 - 00:31:38:00

Luna

Do you ever do it without stimulating your cock? Like, have you done any of the like, kind of hands free explorations up the butt or is that something you're you're getting to it. Yeah. Okay. You have. Yeah I yeah.

00:31:38:03 - 00:31:55:22

Caleb

My parents sold their house recently over in the old house. I would lay a towel down and I would usually put, like a latex glove on or something and just kind of finger around feel for my prostate is and see what's up there. And like, yeah, I did try to have like a prostate orgasm just by doing that.

00:31:55:22 - 00:32:02:11

Caleb

But I don't know if it's something I can have or something. I just haven't been patient enough to have. But maybe it's in the future. Who knows?

00:32:02:13 - 00:32:04:14

Luna

We don't need to rush to find out.

00:32:04:14 - 00:32:05:00

Caleb

We don't need.

00:32:05:00 - 00:32:17:06

Luna

Just know where you get your own to find page. Okay? Have we missed any formative experience? Yeah, I want to get more details about your desires, but like any partners or any kind of, like, locations or places.

00:32:17:08 - 00:32:34:08

Caleb

I've snuck a couple of people into camp, like I had a relationship at camp at one point. However, I think either the previous or the next summer I was working either as maintenance or kitchen staff. I either matched with someone on Bumble, Facebook Dating, or Tinder before I was banned from Tinder.

00:32:34:13 - 00:32:35:16

Luna

Why do you get banned?

00:32:35:18 - 00:32:41:17

Caleb

I don't know, oh, I don't know. Probably because enough people report my profile for having something that shouldn't be there.

00:32:41:17 - 00:32:48:19

Luna

I don't know, I didn't realize they're naked. Laws are pretty strict. Like you can't show up. Yeah, I think I showed a bare back or something.

00:32:48:19 - 00:32:54:22

Caleb

It's pretty like explicit that people are on there for relationships, but like once you meet up with the person, it's not exactly.

00:32:55:01 - 00:32:55:14

Luna

Exactly.

00:32:55:14 - 00:32:56:16

Caleb

Always a relationship thing.

00:32:56:16 - 00:32:59:07

Luna

New. Yeah, yeah.

00:32:59:07 - 00:33:02:09

Caleb

But like I think your profile can't have anything like sexually explicit in it.

00:33:02:13 - 00:33:03:16

Luna

So yeah, that's.

00:33:03:16 - 00:33:04:23

Caleb

Probably why I got banned.

00:33:05:01 - 00:33:10:00

Luna

Okay. So we digressed because you were telling us about summer camp and sneaking people in.

00:33:10:01 - 00:33:17:07

Caleb

Have you ever had car sex? I have my first experience having sex in a car was in a Volkswagen Beetle. Oh.

00:33:17:09 - 00:33:19:15

Luna

Small front or back?

00:33:19:17 - 00:33:37:05

Caleb

In the back. It was the first time it was tight and we spilled the lube on the floor and there wasn't enough. She wasn't into it, so she wasn't at all wet because there wasn't enough lube and she wasn't wet. I couldn't even get my dick in, like the condom. Like it just stuck halfway. And she was like, I'm not doing this anymore.

00:33:37:06 - 00:33:39:03

Caleb

Neither was finished. It wasn't working.

00:33:39:03 - 00:33:55:16

Luna

Well, I will say it looks like a good test car. And also if you have a large cock, you do need the lady to be super wet or lubed up like you can't really get away with it. I've definitely gotten some small cocks in there and then like the juices start flowing, but like for the big ones, I don't know.

00:33:55:17 - 00:34:01:15

Luna

You need this kind of help. Some help to get in. Was that at the camp? Was that the sneaking story?

00:34:01:17 - 00:34:26:14

Caleb

That was the one that I had snuck into camp at some point, and we decided to have another experience where we drove out into like a private parking lot somewhere way up north. And you know, tried that nice. The partner that I was with this past 2021 fall, I still had the beetle this past fall. I've sold it since and bought a 2010 Rav4, which is much better for sex.

00:34:26:16 - 00:34:28:12

Caleb

However, I have not had that in it yet.

00:34:28:14 - 00:34:29:02

Luna

Yet.

00:34:29:06 - 00:34:47:17

Caleb

Yet there was a time in the beetle where my partner and I. I think we just wanted to go for a drive. We went for a drive in part by the river and we started having a conversation, turn on some music, turn off the lights, and then she climbed over into the driver's seat and started taking my clothes off.

00:34:47:19 - 00:35:00:04

Caleb

And I think we were about to have sex when she had, like, an anxiety attack and had to stop because she had a flashback of a previous time when she was having sex in a car and got caught.

00:35:00:06 - 00:35:07:07

Luna

Oh wow. Okay, we've got some car almost, but hopefully your new car. That's going to be a great sex car.

00:35:07:09 - 00:35:09:01

Caleb

Oh yeah, I'm certainly hoping anyways.

00:35:09:07 - 00:35:15:16

Luna

Okay, no, I would love to hear some turn ons or turn offs that we haven't gotten to yet.

00:35:15:18 - 00:35:27:05

Caleb

I really like making out. However, a bad kisser or someone that doesn't kiss the same style as me is a turn off. Yeah, if you don't kiss, well, it's going to be a turn off. Or like we're going to have to have a conversation about it.

00:35:27:05 - 00:35:28:12

Luna

Yeah. What do you say?

00:35:28:14 - 00:35:46:09

Caleb

Like, my current partner used to use a lot of tongue. When she does it, it's not my style. It's almost too much. And I've told her and she's pretty good about not, you know, eating my face, like licking my teeth and stuff. It's it's sensory overload sometimes. Like having a versus my mouth licked like a little bit of tongue is okay.

00:35:46:09 - 00:35:49:13

Luna

Yeah. How are you with when people, like, lick your ears?

00:35:49:19 - 00:35:52:13

Caleb

I like my ears licked and kissed. I really like that.

00:35:52:13 - 00:35:53:11

Luna

Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah.

00:35:53:13 - 00:36:07:04

Caleb

And like like, moaning is also a good turn on. Like, if I can hear that you are enjoying what I'm doing. And, like, if I can hear in your breathing that what I'm doing is causing a positive reaction in you, then you know, that's going to be a turn on for me. Obviously, like physical touch is a turn on.

00:36:07:07 - 00:36:21:22

Caleb

Like when it comes to like more detailed physical touch. Like I like my nipples playing with, that's for sure. I really like massaging. It's like, if you can give me a good back massage before we have sex, like it'll be a completely different experience for me anyway. I will definitely return the favor. If not, start with that myself.

00:36:22:00 - 00:36:38:06

Luna

That's awesome. I feel like one of the sad things about physical education in all schools. Of course they don't teach us massage, but wouldn't it be amazing if they taught us all massage because we would actually learn about our bodies, the muscles, how to take care of them, and then we'd all be able to, like, touch each other intelligently.

00:36:38:08 - 00:36:43:09

Caleb

And going to a chiropractor is expensive. Yeah, and even then, they don't teach you anything. They just. They just do.

00:36:43:09 - 00:36:48:14

Luna

It to you. Mine does. Actually. I ask him a million questions and he tells me everything.

00:36:48:16 - 00:36:52:07

Caleb

So does mine. But I'm able to see him, and I probably should go sometime.

00:36:52:10 - 00:36:53:10

Luna

Yeah. Soon.

00:36:53:12 - 00:36:56:20

Caleb

Yeah. I have benefits with my work currently, so I have coverage for that.

00:36:56:20 - 00:37:08:13

Luna

So. And you got to take advantage of that. Yeah. Well so physical touch what else. Or are there any specific types of physical touch that are maybe even not on the most sexiest normal parts. But also we haven't heard about your balls. Yeah.

00:37:08:15 - 00:37:24:00

Caleb

Yeah. The backs of my legs are sensitive. Like, because I do a lot of standing and walking at work and even driving, like I drive a lot. Okay? My calves are like, usually pretty sore or tight. So if you're massaging my back and you go on my legs, it might even be painful for me. But I do like a foot massage.

00:37:24:02 - 00:37:25:18

Caleb

It's just my feet are really ticklish.

00:37:25:20 - 00:37:27:23

Luna

Always. Or does it go away sometimes?

00:37:28:01 - 00:37:31:04

Caleb

No, always. I'm like, delighted to touch is a really ticklish.

00:37:31:06 - 00:37:34:02

Luna

Yeah. Do you enjoy tickles or is that like. No. For you.

00:37:34:04 - 00:37:38:06

Caleb

It's not something that I can do with sex related. Yeah, like it's more like a playful thing.

00:37:38:06 - 00:37:42:01

Luna

Okay. Yeah, yeah. It gets so overwhelming that if I'm, like, legit.

00:37:42:03 - 00:37:48:03

Caleb

It's almost a turn off thing. Yeah. You're going to do one or the other, not both. Yeah. Maybe bringing in like, a feather or something like that.

00:37:48:04 - 00:37:50:09

Luna

Okay. That's amazing. How are you with light touches.

00:37:50:09 - 00:37:52:04

Caleb

Yeah. Like light touches. Yeah.

00:37:52:06 - 00:37:56:10

Luna

What other touches do not like. And then tell us what touch is like in terms of sensation.

00:37:56:12 - 00:38:00:23

Caleb

I mean, like forceful grabbing anything that isn't consensual. Really?

00:38:01:01 - 00:38:01:13

Luna

Yeah.

00:38:01:15 - 00:38:13:13

Caleb

Part of my autism is like, I'm very sensitive to physical touch. So like, my partner and I, we had a bit of an argument the other day, the disagreement we had caused me to be in a place where I was like, please don't touch me right now. I don't want to be touched by anything.

00:38:13:17 - 00:38:14:05

Luna

I get that.

00:38:14:11 - 00:38:21:09

Caleb

But like normally like a person that like loves hugs, I like touch. It's just like when I'm in a bad mood, it's like not something I can for stimulating.

00:38:21:11 - 00:38:45:04

Luna

Totally understand that I'm observing in your responses, something I also experience, which is how different my physical sensory experience is depending on my mood slash relationship with the person. So like I heard you talk about in a situation where there had been like a back and forth between the person where there was like a I call them explosions, like a interpersonal difficulty, maybe.

00:38:45:06 - 00:38:53:06

Luna

And then sometimes for me it changes like the actual if they did touch me, it changes the way it literally feels to me. Does that is that what you're describing?

00:38:53:08 - 00:38:58:22

Caleb

Yeah, yeah. Sometimes it can be kind of like sharp or shocking. Yeah. Like it makes me want to like, pull back.

00:38:59:03 - 00:39:16:05

Luna

Yeah. I would love to hear some other sensations that you experience. Maybe as a submissive, you've said you've been feeling pretty submissive lately. I'd love to hear you talk about power exchange eventually, but first, start with the sensations that your submissive self like wants to receive.

00:39:16:07 - 00:39:36:06

Caleb

It's been a long time since I've been tied up. My partner of like a couple years. I've been into camping for a while and I went to school for camping. I haven't slept in, attended a long time. I only sleep in hammocks when I go camping. Hand-wringing is a one person thing. However, the way that I hammock is we use like clipping straps.

00:39:36:07 - 00:39:55:15

Caleb

These straps, they're basically a simple knot that wraps around a tree and then the strap goes through itself. You can use that same knots to attach these straps to a person's hands and wrists and ankles. So I set these straps up on the bed that we had, and we tied each other's wrists and ankles to the bed and did that at one point.

00:39:55:17 - 00:40:00:07

Caleb

And I want to do that again. That was fun. It's kind of some like restraints play, I guess.

00:40:00:07 - 00:40:00:21

Luna

Yeah.

00:40:01:02 - 00:40:11:08

Caleb

I've never used handcuffs, but it was similar to handcuffs. If they were like for individual wrists. Yeah. I wouldn't mind being tied down and teased and touched and like denied orgasm almost.

00:40:11:10 - 00:40:12:03

Luna

Oh.

00:40:12:04 - 00:40:16:00

Caleb

There's touches that I don't know that I want that I haven't had yet. Oh.

00:40:16:02 - 00:40:25:09

Luna

I know that feeling. I have a long bucket list. I'm trying to figure out how to organize it. There's so many types of touches I want to experience. And just like scenarios around touches.

00:40:25:11 - 00:40:30:08

Caleb

There's a club in Toronto called the Oasis Aqua Lounge.

00:40:30:10 - 00:40:31:15

Luna

I have heard of it.

00:40:31:17 - 00:40:53:03

Caleb

My public pool, and I have wanted to go there recently. If you've heard of it, it's, you know, it's like a sex club, basically a clothing optional lounge where people can go to have sex and be watched and pass around partners if they so choose openly. And, you know, it's a place to talk about sex comfortably. There's a bar and a pool.

00:40:53:05 - 00:41:11:13

Caleb

I think the building itself has four floors, one of which is like specifically designed for like kinky stuff with like a whole dungeon room. One room has the back of a van, but there's another room with just like chairs and couches and beds and stuff. I haven't been, but I've seen little bits of video and pictures here and there, and I want to go, so, oh, that's great.

00:41:11:15 - 00:41:20:16

Luna

That's super great. You mentioned your poly cool. I would love to hear whatever you can share about its makeup and or how it affects your sex life.

00:41:20:18 - 00:41:38:18

Caleb

If so, our poly cool me and my current. I guess I can say girlfriend are dating and she lives with another couple who she also plays with on occasion and they're very sexual like that couple plays with each other, but just like openly, like I've walked out to them getting a blowjob in the living room. It's okay. Cool.

00:41:38:20 - 00:41:55:08

Caleb

My first reaction was actually a couple weeks ago with one of them, the penis owning partner, let's call them s okay. And my partner a okay. The three of us hooked up. She was sucking their dick while I fucked her and it was fun. It was an introduction.

00:41:55:10 - 00:41:57:02

Luna

What would you want to do for your next one?

00:41:57:04 - 00:42:18:11

Caleb

I don't know, I'm still getting comfortable with other male bodied humans. Growing up with Christian influence parents, I've had a lot of homophobia growing into me and my dad is very homophobic. Oh, okay. Like I can't even visit my parents without my dad making a homophobic remark when like I am actively with male partners.

00:42:18:12 - 00:42:18:20

Luna

Yeah.

00:42:18:21 - 00:42:26:04

Caleb

So like I can't really talk about it with him and I don't know what to do if they heard this because I'm not going to send it to them. But it would be an interesting conversation.

00:42:26:07 - 00:42:33:05

Luna

I was going to say, you never know. People have some really flexible minds. Once they find out people they love, or one of those things that they were saying.

00:42:33:07 - 00:42:40:05

Caleb

Yeah, I know, because of the homophobia that I've had into me over the years, I'm still developing a comfort level with male bodied humans.

00:42:40:05 - 00:42:40:17

Luna

Yeah.

00:42:40:19 - 00:42:49:18

Caleb

I did have an early gay experience where I think when I was 17, I met someone from whisper. If you sort of whisper.

00:42:49:20 - 00:42:51:02

Luna

I'm trying to remember what it is.

00:42:51:02 - 00:43:12:13

Caleb

Tell me whispers like an anonymous app on your phone. We can basically like, post what you want under any username you want, identifying as whatever gender you want in whatever age group you want doesn't have to be accurate. You can choose it. Okay, I was in high school at the time. I think like like late high school. I think my first relationship ended the previous summer.

00:43:12:18 - 00:43:21:18

Caleb

It was the short one I only I only met her four times and then my phone got stolen. So I was like going through at time of like, I guess trauma recovery.

00:43:22:00 - 00:43:22:09

Luna

Yeah.

00:43:22:10 - 00:43:43:02

Caleb

And was questioning things rugby because I was playing with my acid at the time or something and decided to meet up with someone from online out of the blue at my parents house while they were away. Oh yeah. So this man was in his 50s. I invited him over and my parents dogs were not happy with this. They freaked out at this.

00:43:43:02 - 00:43:43:08

Luna

Time.

00:43:43:08 - 00:44:00:20

Caleb

That basically I invited them over. It was just me. He came over, gave me a bit of a massage. It was not a great massage. And then he ended up sucking me a little bit and jerking me off. Okay. And when he asked if I wanted to touch him, I was like, I'm not really comfortable. And he jerked himself off into a paper towel, okay.

00:44:00:22 - 00:44:01:19

Caleb

And then left.

00:44:01:21 - 00:44:05:18

Luna

How was that for you? How was it to do? Like how was it to have another mouth?

00:44:05:23 - 00:44:13:04

Caleb

It was really good, had great. But, it's just the fact that he was like 30 years older than totally.

00:44:13:05 - 00:44:13:12

Luna

It was.

00:44:13:12 - 00:44:14:00

Caleb

Too old.

00:44:14:02 - 00:44:16:13

Luna

Okay, but a fun exploration.

00:44:16:13 - 00:44:35:02

Caleb

But it was a good initial experience. I guess it was very positive and friendly. Like, it didn't make me uncomfortable in any way or wasn't trying to, at least as far as I could tell. Years later, and plenty of female bodied experiences down the line. My partner of last fall had a friend who I connected with post breakup.

00:44:35:04 - 00:44:43:12

Caleb

He is gay and I connecting with him. We became pretty good friends to the point where we ended up touching each other's penises.

00:44:43:14 - 00:44:44:20

Luna

Nice. Yeah.

00:44:44:22 - 00:44:56:23

Caleb

In January this year. Yeah. I was staying at my parents place in Toronto because my ex had kicked me out of her apartment. Okay, I'd live with my parents in between finding a place of my own and living with her.

00:44:57:02 - 00:44:57:15

Luna

Yeah.

00:44:57:17 - 00:45:12:02

Caleb

And he lives in Toronto. So, you know, while I was living with my parents, I was like, I need to hang out with someone. I'm bored. I need a friend hanging out with him. He's my age. He's 23 or 24. I think he knows what he's doing and he has a decently sized dick. It was a good time.

00:45:12:02 - 00:45:29:14

Caleb

I went over to his place and laid down on his bed, and he slid my sweatpants down and sucked me a little bit. And then eventually I, got the confidence to be like, hey, can I touch you? And he took his pants off and I started touching him. And then we were talking to the wrong. I came twice before he came.

00:45:29:14 - 00:45:40:09

Caleb

Once. Wellcome kept jerking the off until he came. And then I came a second time, and then I got him to come. I mean, and that's that's a first for me.

00:45:40:12 - 00:45:42:18

Luna

That's amazing. Oh, congratulations.

00:45:42:20 - 00:45:44:19

Caleb

I haven't come in twice with one hand job.

00:45:44:21 - 00:45:45:18

Luna

Wow.

00:45:45:18 - 00:45:58:10

Caleb

Oh. From someone else. Anyways, we were, like, laying down, like shoulder to shoulder. We made out a little bit beforehand. That's the first time I kissed a guy and it was comfortable because he was really attractive.

00:45:58:12 - 00:46:00:02

Luna

Did he have any facial hair?

00:46:00:04 - 00:46:05:11

Caleb

He had a little bit at the time. It was almost soft, like not quite like 5:00. I don't like rough.

00:46:05:16 - 00:46:06:12

Luna

Yeah. Sharp.

00:46:06:12 - 00:46:08:00

Caleb

It was. It was like a soft facial hair.

00:46:08:00 - 00:46:19:01

Luna

Totally cool. I love it because like, my first description when I kissed a girl was like, she's so soft too. It's just funny to, like, it's the same, but it's different. But it's the same.

00:46:19:03 - 00:46:20:08

Caleb

People are just soft.

00:46:20:09 - 00:46:31:16

Luna

People are soft. Yes. Okay. So so many good, good details. Is there anything else that your body like loves or has experienced that you love that we haven't covered yet.

00:46:31:18 - 00:46:36:22

Caleb

But like kissing all over? Yeah, I just like lots of physical contact. Like skin contact is really comfortable.

00:46:37:01 - 00:46:37:15

Luna

Yeah.

00:46:37:17 - 00:46:39:19

Caleb

I like cuddling and just being held.

00:46:39:21 - 00:46:41:14

Luna

Oh my gosh, me too, me too.

00:46:41:16 - 00:46:53:15

Caleb

I think like, cuddling after sex is nice. Like when you're in that like like that's that sweaty come down from the orgasm and you're just like close to your partner naked. Yeah. It's so comfortable.

00:46:53:17 - 00:47:01:11

Luna

Here's a question immediately after you come. Do you want to, like, collapse and lay or do you get talkative, like what happens to you?

00:47:01:13 - 00:47:07:22

Caleb

Usually it's like a collapsing lay thing. Yeah. I don't really want to talk too much. I want to just, like, enjoy the feeling of relaxing.

00:47:07:22 - 00:47:12:07

Luna

Do you need to clean up first or can you cuddle right away? Like, can you cuddle messy?

00:47:12:11 - 00:47:14:08

Caleb

I think it depends on the situation.

00:47:14:08 - 00:47:16:18

Luna

That's true. That's a good point.

00:47:16:19 - 00:47:19:18

Caleb

After doing anal, it was like, let's clean up and then cuddle.

00:47:19:19 - 00:47:20:11

Luna

Yeah, yeah.

00:47:20:13 - 00:47:33:00

Caleb

That's also at the same time there was toys everywhere that were dirty, that were in the way of the bed. So we needed to move those to cuddle. However, like after sex and oh, use condoms, protection. Different condoms feel different ways.

00:47:33:04 - 00:47:33:23

Luna

Oh, tell us.

00:47:33:23 - 00:47:38:00

Caleb

It's like the Trojan condoms. They come in a gold wrapper. They are a little bit thicker.

00:47:38:04 - 00:47:38:13

Luna

00:47:38:15 - 00:47:47:11

Caleb

But they are super comfortable okay. And they go on easy every time. I think they're called one brand, like one condoms or one branded.

00:47:47:14 - 00:47:47:21

Luna

Yeah.