56 bi-curious submissive white male who has been married for over 25 years.

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Luna

Our guest today is a 56 year old biker white dude who has been married for over 25 years. He is into group sex, golden showers, powerplay and has been exploring splashing. He works in it and is from Toronto. Welcome, James.

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James

Thank you for having me.

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Luna

I'm so excited to have you. Okay. Tell us first if you had to rate yourself today, right now, on a shame, a meter with ten being the most full of shame and one being lots of shame. It all. Where do you feel right now?

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James

Probably about a 1 or 2.

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Luna

Okay. Can you say a couple words about why.

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James

I did feel ashamed when I first started exploring different things in terms of sex, but then I've come to realize that there's no reason for that. If it feels good, there's no reason why you shouldn't go ahead and do it if it's not hurting anybody and everybody's consensual. I just don't see why I should be ashamed of something that I like.

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Luna

Can you give us a little overview of what your sex life is like right now, and what your favorite parts are?

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James

Right now it's pretty quiet. As I said, the married for 25 years and we have a fairly good sex life, but I would consider it kind of a nilla. I would like to explore things with her, but she's not into the same kind of things that I'm into. So right now it's pretty quiet. Although sometimes I do set up some sessions and go to the swingers club on my own and just, you know, to explore my sexuality.

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Luna

Nice. Can you tell us now what is sexy to you?

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James

Let's see that question because there's so many different things. It could be just a look from someone. It doesn't have to be what they look like. I find attitudes can be very sexy, self-confident in yourself and projecting onto others that can be very sexy as well. And of course, I do like good looking people, whether it's male or female.

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James

I'm not not hung up on either one.

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Luna

And when do you feel sexy?

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James

You know, I don't always feel sexy. Yeah. I don't really think of myself as sexy. I think of myself as being available to pleasure others.

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Luna

Like in a sex object way. Or just like a surface. Like, how does.

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James

It service, which kind of goes towards my submissive side. So if I'm in a relationship, if I'm having a session, I'd like to be dominated and told what to do and how to pleasure that person and things like that.

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Luna

Amazing what counts as sex for you.

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James

That's why open. It's. It could start with a kiss. And, you know, some groping definitely doesn't have to be full penetration. It doesn't even have to be orgasmic. It could be just, you know, fooling around, finding out about each other, like each other's bodies or just having fun together. Sometimes it's. I find sex.

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Luna

And then when you were growing up, did you get an explicit health and safety conversation or a lesson on consent? Ever?

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James

Did not. I lived on a farm when I was young, and so we didn't. We didn't really have those talks or anything like that. Yeah, there was nothing about safe sex other than what I could find out on my own through school. You know, we have the basic that the gym teacher would give us a quick, you know, one hour lesson and that would be about it.

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James

And so anything that you, you found out was, was on your own. We were on it. And consent would be more coming from respect of other people. So we were brought up. My brothers and sisters were brought up to respect them and respect their wishes. So if they said something that they didn't like or they didn't want to do or, you know, they disagreed with you, that's fine.

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James

And you would just let it go and not pursue it. It is more of a respect thing.

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Luna

Yeah. Reflecting on your adult experiences, can you tell us a moment that you remember where there was an explicit clear? Yes. So a moment of clear consent. That was so fucking hot.

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James

Actually, it was to me, it was in a moment of clear consent. But to the other person she was trying to hammer at home, and I just didn't get it. So I'll go back to it was in high school, in my senior, senior year of high school. I had been dating this this one woman for for a while, for a couple of years.

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James

And then we had broken up and there was this other girl that was interested in me, so she invited me out. We went to the movies. We met her parents at the movies and came back to her house and her parents were already dead. So we came and she invited me in and I said, okay, we'll come in and she says, we'll play a game or something.

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James

So we started playing Trivial Pursuit and it went on forever or ever. And then there was one point where I needed one more question to win, and I got the question right. And she insisted I got the question wrong, and she would show me the card. And we kept playing for like another half hour, 40 minutes. And finally she says, you know what she says?

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James

You won that game like an hour ago. She says, I've been trying to keep you here. Find a reason to keep you here, because I want to. I want to fool around with you, basically. But you just don't get it.

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Luna

Oh, wow. So she was waiting for you to make sure.

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James

She was waiting for me to make a move, but I was not. I wasn't sure, and, yeah, we didn't discuss it, and it's just lack of communication until the very end of the night. And then after that, we we decided, okay.

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Luna

I love it, I love it.

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James

We started fooling around on the couch.

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Luna

I'm not either. And thank goodness she said something. I love a woman who can express her desire. Oh my God. Yeah, great. That's a great share. Okay. Lastly, in our intro, what happens to your shame ometer when it's I know you have a wife that you've been married to, but for outside partners, maybe if you have to talk about safer sex or how does that safer sex conversation make your shame a meter feel, and what those conversations ideally look like for you, even if you never had to have one again.

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James

They used to be tough. The shaming meter used to be like 7 or 8, until I went to a massage parlor, and I went with some specific things in mind that I wanted to try out. So that was really hard for me to get that communication out to that person that I wanted to try it. Yeah, but once the first conversation happened, every other conversation that we've had for I have had with other people about consent or what we want to try, has been a lot easier.

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James

My shaming meters dropped from like a separate or like a 2 or 1.

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Luna

That's incredible.

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James

Yeah. It was just get over that first one and it was okay. After that. I said, well, what's the worst? And I'm thinking to myself, what's the worst that can happen? It's a no big deal to move on.

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Luna

Was that the extent of your preparation or did you like, do anything like did you write a list or did you how did you get over that hump?

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James

I sort of had it in in my head and it's and I thought and I would drive around driver, how am I going to say this and try and figure out how I'm going to communicate that to the person that was there? And I thought, I've got to look like a fool coming in here, but who cares to not know me anyway?

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James

So yeah, okay. And I rehearsed it. I kept rehearsing it in my head. Luckily, the person that I came to the first time, she was open to it. Okay. And we'd had a session before. It was just a regular massage, but it made it more comfortable.

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Luna

Amazing. And it sounds like the boundaries of your marriage allow for some play with other people. Is that accurate? Yes. That's it. Yeah. Okay. What needs to be in place there for you and your wife to feel safe?

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James

It's basically that she trusts me to be safe with other people. So when I go to the club, it's a very close community. Okay. So you kind of get to meet the same people over time. They also have a chat line as well that you the chat before you go to the club to meet them. But then when you get into the club you do everything safely.

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James

So there's condoms everywhere. They're like little jars of candy all over their condoms. And then so it's fairly safe. And she. Me?

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Luna

Okay. Do they have dental dams or Laurel's available? I know the sex parties in places I've been don't have anything for oral, typically, but I'm just curious what different spaces they're like.

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James

Yes they do. Yes. Oh.

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Luna

That's awesome.

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James

Okay. Yes.

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Luna

Cool. Okay. When do you first remember sex? Entering your sphere of awareness.

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James

It was quite young, and it was basically when I started waking up in the morning, you know, with a heart on. And I'm like, what is this? It's like trying to figure out what it is. I thought, oh, that feels kind of good. And then I just remember one time I was in the bathtub and I had on some music and I remember was the Beatles, I, Cameron Stevens, I was listening to the song and it had a hard on, so, oh, what?

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James

I do this. I started touching myself and then all of a sudden I came and I'm like, oh my God, what have I done? I thought, this is supposed to happen because nobody had ever talked. We hadn't had any of that at school at that time. So then I took it home. I guess I'm I'm still here. I'm okay.

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James

Felt pretty good. So that's that's where it kind of started. And then also being on the farm, I sort of started exploring my feelings of doing things that you're really not supposed to do.

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Luna

Like what?

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James

Like, you know, you're not supposed to play around in the dirt. You're not supposed to get wet with you when you're wearing your clothes and that kind of thing. And so I started feeling have like, oh, sharp, close. That feels really good. And it was like an instant I'd be instantly ready to go to have sex or to masturbate.

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James

And so as I stepped it, just thinking about it sometimes would do that first.

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Luna

That's so cool. Am I jumping ahead? But is that a connection to splashing for you? Or. This it is. Okay. It is. Okay, okay. When did you actually, like, figure it out? But it was a thing again.

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James

I was on the farm, right? So I had lots of access to, like, creeks, mud pits. I just remember there was this one place I was walking along, you know, in the in the cornfield, and there was this big open space cornfield, huge mud. What would grow muddy. And so it's kind of cool. And I took my shoes off and started walking through the mud.

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James

Oh, this feels really good.

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Luna

I used to do that, too. I'm like, maybe I was like, okay, okay. Yeah.

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James

And then I just continued hard and got down in the mud and oh, wow. Thought all of a sudden it's a hard on and just started rolling around in the mud and then masturbating while I was playing this. What? I thought, oh wow, this is amazing. So I would go out and start planning these things. So I would take a bag of clothes while making sure there was a place to wash up nearby, like a creek or something, or.

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James

Yeah, and go and do this every once in a while. That's kind of where that aspect of washing starts.

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Luna

It's like origins and natural splashing. Yes. When did you realize that it was not just you feeling good and coming out in nature? Like, when did you realize there was, like more to it sexually, or that there's kind of a and actually, can you share your understanding of splashing now for people who maybe you're like, what is this word?

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James

Yeah. So basically the air quotes the definition of splashing would be for someone who likes food either poured on them or to wrestle food or put food on someone else. And basically it gets them excited and horny. You take it from there, or you can just do the splashing. You can do it naked. You can do it fully clothed, or you can start fully clothed and up naked.

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James

And there's a whole community out there online that you can you just type in splashing it, just the things that you would see. I find it pretty hot.

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Luna

That's amazing.

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James

I'm going to go back to the formative years of. So again, I was just saying I was I was doing all this is the masturbation and that kind of thing. And so when I met my second girlfriend, the one that tried to tell me that, you know, she wanted me to stay and that kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, I'm sort of.

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James

We're into the same kind of things.

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Luna

Okay. How old were you when you met?

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James

I was probably 17, and she was kind of in the same thing. She liked being wet in her clothes as well. So it kind of led to we would go to the beach together, not have a bathing suit, just jump in the water or throw each other in and splash around and fool around. I mean, it was pretty, pretty cool.

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James

And there was, there was even the one time we went out to a movie and she said, my grandmother's away at the cottage, so I've got to go check her out. So let's go over to her house and over to her house. And she immediately grabbed me, threw me into the shower, turned on the water, and we did it right there in the shower.

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James

And then our clothes ripped off our clothes. And then we had, of course, we had to put them in the washing machine, in the dryer and sat around naked for a couple of hours waiting for that.

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James

We were kind of into the same things, but we never explored splashing because I never knew it was a thing.

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Luna

Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm curious about.

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James

I don't even remember when I first thought of it as a thing. I think I might have probably seen it online.

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Luna

Yeah, that makes sense.

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James

Because I was probably watching videos of mud wrestling and that kind of thing, and then it came up and it's all that kind of sounds interesting, but I didn't really explore that until later in life.

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Luna

Okay. So with that, the focus of your turn on, what were you doing other like splash less things in your teenage years as well?

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James

No, we were doing other splash less things as well. We were doing all of the normal. You know, we would have sex in in the park or. I remember the one time we ran a road stop outside of town, the windows were pretty steamy, and the police actually came, knocked on the window, and they kind of knew what we were doing.

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James

But they did ask her, are you okay? Okay. Is everything good? And she says, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're just, you know, and, checking for alcohol at least. Okay. And then the last thing that the police officer said when they left was carry on.

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Luna

So are there any, like, formative details that you remember from, like, learning partnered body things or learning about your own body in terms of giving or receiving during those early years that stand up for you?

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James

Not so much about my own body other than exploring things as I was master of when I met this other girl, she was much more open, much more open to sex, and she would allow me to explore her body and try things. And the whole time we'd be doing something, she would say a little bit to the left or, you know, this is good, or I don't like that, that kind of thing.

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James

So then it was kind of a learning experience for both of us. Yeah. And as another story, I remember we were camping one time in the summertime. I was outside setting up the camp, and she was inside getting everything ready inside the tent. And then I all of a sudden I hear her screaming and she's like a like, come and get the spider.

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James

And so I ran to the tent, opened it up and got in. And basically there was no spider. She was standing there naked.

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Luna

I like.

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James

Her, and she's like, let's go, let's go. We went right into it and it did it right there. And this was a campsite that was kind of like a combat. And there was like people all around us. So we had to sort of be quiet. But I'm just glad that nobody came along to see if she was okay when she started screaming like.

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Luna

So what was like the next in your unfolding? Like you. Okay, so those are like teenage years. Like she sounded years.

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James

Yeah. We finished high school together, and then, we worked for about six months, and then we saved up some money and we decided to go to Europe together.

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Luna

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James

So we went traveling I don't know, for we were in the midst of traveling over. It was about a month and a half traveling all over Europe doing the normal things. And I remember specifically we were in Amsterdam and we had landed on the plane in Amsterdam, and we just got to the train from the airport to the middle of the city, got off the train, and we were so tired.

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James

We just looked for the first place we could go to, and we found this room above a bar. So we stayed in there and sort of recover, and we came downstairs for breakfast and I'm thinking, oh my God, where are we? And the people, there's so strange looking like there were transvestites. There was this lady, she must have been 65 years old, in a mini dress and a shiny gold top.

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James

And it was like, oh my gosh, where are we? And we figured out later we were in the middle of the red light district because that's near the train station. But the people there were fantastic. This is a good start for a trip. I that it's so open and you walk down the street and of course, you see the ladies in the windows.

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James

Were you doing all that? So rather than just the usual touristy things, you could quite wrap doing other things. And to make a long story short, we were there for about a month and a half, and then, we met people over there we parted with, and then she ended up taking off with some other guy. So that kind of broke my heart.

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Luna

Oh my gosh.

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James

Yeah.

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Luna

Like in Europe. Like, she was just like by.

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James

Yes, she was.

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Luna

What did you do?

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James

I just kept on with the trip.

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Luna

Okay.

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James

I said well I've got everything I need. I'll just continue on. I worked in England for a few months, met another girl there. She was pretty athletic. She was a jogger, so she was training for a half marathon. So I decided, okay, that sounds good to me. I get to follow her around and hang out. So I ended up doing that and entered the half marathon and finished it.

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James

Wow. Never done another race since, but.

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Luna

Well, you don't, you don't need to. But did you notice a difference between meeting American versus European ladies and how was it to be.

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James

Yeah, much more open in Europe. So I remember like I would be on the train traveling from one city to the next. And always if I was alone, I would just meet somebody right after that and they'd be so, oh, where are you from? And, you know, I remember this one lady in particular. She's probably about my mother's age.

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James

And she started chatting and then we had dinner together and she says, well, where are you going? I said, well, I don't really have a destination in mind. She's want to come over to my place and stay for a week. So I did.

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Luna

That. Amazing.

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James

It was a very good week because we had sex pretty much every day, but just more open. Yeah, and found out she was a nurse, so I'd hang out at her house and go do my thing and come back at night and do our thing, but eventually I had to go. Yeah.

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Luna

Although I want to edit my question because you're Canadian, not American, and I was being annoying.

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James

Oh yeah, I'm very centric. Yes.

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Luna

I'm curious also, when you realized that you were attracted to dudes too with it in Europe because of the openness, or is that more recent?

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James

That's more recent. I'm finding that that's some of the things I'm trying are good, but I want to go for it. I wanted to go further. Yeah. And so then I started thinking about what if I tried that and see how it felt. And if it feels good, well then I'll keep trying it. So that's kind of where that led.

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James

Okay. It wasn't like, oh, I'm attracted to dudes or anything like that. I just, you know, maybe it sounds hot to me. So let's explore that and see where it takes.

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Luna

Okay. So how long were you in Europe for? Like what else happened in your like 20s, 30 like. And when did you meet your wife?

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James

It was about a year. I was in Europe and then I came back home or just just as a as an afterthought. My parents did not like the girl that I went to Europe with.

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Luna

Oh, okay.

00:20:19:11 - 00:20:36:18

James

They were totally against her. They got a bad vibe or something. And so I ended up living with her parents for six months before we left home. I didn't meet my wife until about five years after that, so I was kind of doing the dating scene after that and working.

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Luna

With the the sexy dating scene. Her what was dating like for you in that time period.

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James

Was kind of village, you know, go to the movies to have sex with, not have a couple drinks. And then that kind of thing was kind of like the normal day to day dating. So it wasn't anything exciting at that time. And then I met my wife that very, very much. And we started doing things. We never did anything outrageous.

00:21:03:01 - 00:21:23:08

James

She was never into that. I brought it up several times. She was never into it. So I just okay, that's fine. But of course there's more qualities about her that just put her about everyone else that I've met before. Yeah. So I'm not going to let that hang up a great thing. We did try squashing once.

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Luna

Okay. What kind? Like what was the circumstance? Did you put down a tarp?

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James

No. I talked to her about it for probably months leading up to it instead. No, no. And then one day she finally said, okay, let's try it out. And she says, I don't want anything on me. I'll just do it to you and see how I like. And I said, okay, so we went in the bathtub because that's easy for clean.

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James

Okay. So I sat in the bathtub, I had on some clothes, I had some underwear and a t shirt and she basically took, I think it was bananas. Exults. You mashed a banana in my hair, dropped some eggs in my in my underwear. And then maple sirup I find is really, really good.

00:22:04:17 - 00:22:10:12

Luna

Ooh, I would do maple sirup. It's weird me out more than a banana. That's so funny.

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James

And she just poured it all over. A whole bottle on my end. And I found it instant, instant hard on. And then. And then I enjoyed masturbating in front of her and. And that was pretty much it. But she didn't want to pursue it anymore. Didn't do anything for me.

00:22:29:12 - 00:22:31:22

Luna

Okay, that's amazing that she tried it with you, though.

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James

And it was. Yes.

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Luna

Can I ask you specific questions? You sure? Like of bananas, eggs, maple sirup? Is there like a hierarchy of, like, texture deliciousness for you, or is it like the combination and just the mess of all of it? Or is it something I can't even understand?

00:22:48:03 - 00:22:55:20

James

It's the combination mess of everything. Okay, so you know, things like, you're not supposed to do that, don't get mess, don't play with your food.

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Luna

Yeah, don't get raw eggs on you.

00:22:58:01 - 00:23:19:07

James

Don't care I eggs on you. I don't play with myself. I'm going to play with that. This is the best thing I find anyway. Wow. The first few times I tried it, I would try it on my own, so I would basically squash myself. And this kind of went into, I like to see someone wearing tight leggings, tight, tight clothes.

00:23:19:09 - 00:23:36:17

James

So then I started wearing those as well. I did my squash extensions. Cool. So I thought, oh, this is this is going to be kind of cool. There was one time actually, I got two Big Macs from McDonald's, and I had a bra on and I stuck them in. This was my boobs. That was just the start.

00:23:36:19 - 00:23:38:20

Luna

That's so fun and creative.

00:23:38:22 - 00:23:43:22

James

And then I had some pantyhose on which I filled with, like, baked beans.

00:23:44:00 - 00:23:45:20

Luna

Like inside the legs or where inside?

00:23:46:00 - 00:23:48:10

James

Inside the legs. Inside the legs. Down the.

00:23:48:12 - 00:23:57:05

Luna

Did you squish them then or you like lumpy, okay. You squish them. It was you leave the clothes on. Yes. It's like making refried beans in your leg or in your.

00:23:57:10 - 00:24:13:22

James

In your in your in your tights. Yeah. And so, you know, of course the hamburgers need more ketchup. So I start splashing that all over the place. Yeah. That was the one time I. So I used to do that, you know, on my own every once in a while when there is nobody around. And I had chance zero.

00:24:14:00 - 00:24:23:00

James

One thing I found really, really hot was mashed potatoes. So I boiled up this big box of instant mashed potatoes and made them. I had to let them cool.

00:24:23:06 - 00:24:26:06

Luna

Okay. That was that was my number one question. I was like, how long were they.

00:24:26:11 - 00:24:46:06

James

The first time? I didn't let them cool enough. And it was, oh my gosh, it was so hot. Or like, I have to stop. So I learned after that, put them in the fridge for a while, let them cool down and then dry so they're still warm, but they feel so good in a pair of leggings and you just dropped them in your pants swimming in the mashed potatoes.

00:24:46:06 - 00:25:08:03

James

Nice. Cool. Yeah, it felt so so. And usually it wouldn't take long for me to start grabbing myself and masturbating. Session would be over. And then you've got to clean up to clean up a bit of a pain. Yeah, yeah. And then sometimes I would just look in the fridge, see what was what's in the fridge, what can I use?

00:25:08:03 - 00:25:23:10

James

Okay, well I can do that. And then I've also found ice cream works really well. Some of the big box stores, they have the big buckets of ice cream, the party size. So you just leave that out for a day, let it melt, and then just dump.

00:25:23:12 - 00:25:35:01

Luna

Okay, I was going to say that seems very cold. Okay. Yeah. But then I was imagining also like sensation play of like warm, not too hot, warm mashed potatoes, scoop of ice cream back and forth and then, oh yeah. Next I don't know.

00:25:35:01 - 00:25:38:08

James

Yeah, yeah. You could do, you could do that as well.

00:25:38:10 - 00:25:43:10

Luna

Have you done like cakes or frosting like cupcake. Like I would want to smash cupcakes on someone.

00:25:43:12 - 00:25:47:08

James

Yes. Cakes. Pies are really good as well.

00:25:47:08 - 00:25:48:13

Luna

Oh yes. Yes, I've heard.

00:25:48:15 - 00:25:53:21

James

Pumpkin pie is a good one. Not so much whipped cream. I just don't enjoy the smell of it.

00:25:53:21 - 00:25:54:18

Luna

Oh, interesting.

00:25:54:18 - 00:26:03:03

James

Okay, you have to get the nondairy one to get away from the smell. Okay, for the most part, it was just myself on my own until I tried the one time with my ones.

00:26:03:05 - 00:26:11:11

Luna

Okay, so is it something that you would ever maybe pursue outside support for, or is it like something you want to do with someone you're connected to?

00:26:11:13 - 00:26:13:05

James

It would have to be someone unconnected.

00:26:13:07 - 00:26:13:14

Luna

Okay.

00:26:13:14 - 00:26:34:17

James

Got it. I have gone outside of it as well, so this one worker, this one lady that I met, we've had a couple of sessions together. So the first time we met, she did, it was more of, domineering session. So we talked for, like 20 minutes beforehand on what I wanted her to do to me. And she was completely willing and completely able to do it.

00:26:34:18 - 00:26:42:18

James

And it was fantastic. So so basically, she helped me and with me, feed me with, while she's begging me she would do that as well.

00:26:42:21 - 00:26:44:15

Luna

Wow. What kind of beatings?

00:26:44:19 - 00:26:46:23

James

It was like a flat leather belt.

00:26:47:05 - 00:26:49:08

Luna

Okay. Ooh. Oh, yeah. Okay.

00:26:49:10 - 00:27:08:21

James

So it was pretty good. And she had the small wins with the little pieces on the end, so. So that was really good. Then I inquired about splashing with her and she just she had no idea what it was. I explained what it was and what it would involve, and she says, yeah, I'm willing to try that. So we had to set everything up properly.

00:27:08:21 - 00:27:34:11

James

This was when we had we had the tarps down and everything else and a tarp path to the shower get ready. And so what she did is she actually dressed me up beforehand. She gave me a bra and panties to wear and petticoats, and she put a gag on my mouth. It was a gag that had a like a ring because she she said, need the dildo hot.

00:27:34:13 - 00:27:36:22

Luna

That's so fun.

00:27:37:00 - 00:27:59:00

James

And so basically that session we started off with pies. Okay, so we had cream pies like chocolate cream and coconut cream. We let them melt for a little bit because they're pretty cool pies and maple sirup. Basically, she would smash me with the pies and I would smash her with the pies, and I thought she was going to explode right there.

00:27:59:02 - 00:28:07:02

James

Oh my God, this is feels so good. And, you know, pies on the road all over, pies in the ass.

00:28:07:04 - 00:28:07:22

Luna

Wow.

00:28:07:23 - 00:28:23:06

James

And it was fat fast. We had a great session. And then she pie me in the ass and then fuck me in the ass. And then she she took a few pictures that she kept for herself, which was fine with me because she really enjoyed it and wanted to do it again. So we did it a few more times.

00:28:23:06 - 00:28:26:09

James

The second time we had peanut butter and chocolate songs.

00:28:26:13 - 00:28:28:04

Luna

Oh, that sounds so fun!

00:28:28:06 - 00:28:43:13

James

And basically I said to her, I said, well, you know, peanut butter is supposed to be really good for your hair. So I said, I want you to wash my hair with peanut butter. And we had a big tub of peanut butter, and she just completely covered everything.

00:28:43:15 - 00:28:45:01

Luna

That I really.

00:28:45:01 - 00:28:49:17

James

Cool peanut butter. And I did it the same to her as well. It takes a long time to get off.

00:28:49:21 - 00:28:54:08

Luna

I was gonna ask that I was like, how the fuck do you get it out? Like, oh yeah, like, wow.

00:28:54:10 - 00:28:56:05

James

It comes off pretty good with hot water.

00:28:56:07 - 00:28:57:00

Luna

Okay, okay.

00:28:57:05 - 00:29:03:11

James

There's not much of a smell. And then your hair does really shine for the next week or.

00:29:03:12 - 00:29:05:01

Luna

That's amazing.

00:29:05:03 - 00:29:06:00

James

Yeah.

00:29:06:02 - 00:29:12:10

Luna

Wow. Would you ever want to. This is just a fantasy question that has popped in my head. Would you ever want to get frosted like a cake?

00:29:12:12 - 00:29:12:22

James

Yes.

00:29:13:01 - 00:29:25:17

Luna

Because, like I was when you were a kid. You know how people get, like, buried in the sand. But I don't like the feeling of sand. But I, like, have this vision of, like, turning you into a cake and then like. Yes, but then, like, maybe mushing on a person or rolling around as a cake. Maybe you're a cake monster.

00:29:25:17 - 00:29:29:00

Luna

Hidden surprise. And then you come out of the cake to surprise the birthday.

00:29:29:04 - 00:29:41:17

James

Well, one of the fantasies that I would have is, is basically have a cake baked around me like, and then the frosting covered, and then just have people come in like a whole bunch of people come in and start eating the cake.

00:29:41:19 - 00:30:00:12

Luna

With their face is like an animal. Yes, yes, yes. Oh my gosh, that's a great food. Is it? That could happen. I mean, we'd have to put the cake around you. That could totally happen. Oh my gosh. How long do you think you could sit still? We'd have to make a way for you to pee. Well, okay, not every reality right now, but I do try to.

00:30:00:12 - 00:30:20:17

James

Figure stuff out. And so we've done several swatching sessions, but the one time we really like to is when we got dressed up. So she put on a nice dress, nice clothes and I put on a, dress shirt and a tie at. And, we came in and we had a whole dinner for the session. We had.

00:30:20:17 - 00:30:39:06

James

We start off with some soup, pea soup, and just continued on soup, pasta. And then we moved on to dessert pies, chocolate sauce, maple sirup, everything like that was a huge wow. And just roll around, rip the clothes off each other. It was. It was.

00:30:39:08 - 00:30:52:16

Luna

That's amazing. That's so I'm. I love that you have like, so much enjoyment and experience enjoying this thing. I love that you discovered these like sensations. Are you this sensory oriented in the rest of your life?

00:30:52:18 - 00:31:08:18

James

Yeah, I think so. It feels good to me. I like to do it. Yeah. I just love the feeling. That's so cool. I don't think we've ever, ever had sex. We'll masturbate or pleasure each other, but we've never had penetrative sex. It could be part of it. But then you've got to be careful as well when you're covered in food.

00:31:08:20 - 00:31:15:21

Luna

My number one thought with frosting is just like, but how do I not get a yeast infection? You know, I'm like, okay, by an asshole, wipe it off. Okay? Okay.

00:31:15:23 - 00:31:25:12

James

Yeah, yeah. So I would smear the peanut butter in the crack of rocks. Yeah, yeah. And then pour the chocolate sauce over top. It was just like a wonderful peanut butter gum.

00:31:25:14 - 00:31:33:13

Luna

That's amazing. When you go out to restaurants sometimes. Do you ever look at the food and like, wish you could just smash it or splashes sometimes.

00:31:33:13 - 00:31:49:08

James

Sometimes I if I know we're having a session, I would think about, okay, what can we do this time? What's something we can try out? Something different in terms of the food we were smashing on each other. And so sometimes we won't tell each other what we're doing and want to shop with it. And she finds that hot.

00:31:49:10 - 00:31:56:18

Luna

That's so funny. So can you tell us a little bit about the power play stuff that you mentioned exploring and liking?

00:31:56:20 - 00:32:16:07

James

As I said, I like being told what to do because I guess in my life it's opposite for me. I have a lot of control. I am sort of a control freak, but I like to let go and I want someone else to do the thinking for me and tell me what to do and make me do things that maybe I don't want to do.

00:32:16:11 - 00:32:19:20

Luna

You mean like, don't want to, like with groups or. Yeah.

00:32:19:22 - 00:32:20:08

James

Yeah.

00:32:20:10 - 00:32:24:11

Luna

Just for podcast people. Okay, okay. Okay. So they can't see your cute little smile.

00:32:24:13 - 00:32:42:12

James

Yeah. No. And the thing is, when I, when I go to or sometimes I have to be careful, I always have to bring change clothes because I never come up with. So there was one time I came in, oh, she gave me some instructions. She says, drink lots of water before you come in, come in. So I did that and I came in and she says, are you all set to go?

00:32:42:12 - 00:32:59:06

James

And I said, yeah, what are we doing today? I said, whatever happens, I have to go and wash first. I said, I really like. And she says, well, then you just go. And I'm like, what do you mean? She says, just go. I want you to go right now. I said, okay, I started taking my clothes off. It's no no no no no no.

00:32:59:08 - 00:33:24:03

James

Just keep everything on and just go and like it. Are you? I'm like, okay, I like it. Took a while to get up the nerve to do it, but then I did it on oh my gosh, this is oh. And then she instructed me to lie down. And then she did the same thing on top of me and basically peed in my face and like, oh my God, this is so hot.

00:33:24:03 - 00:33:29:13

James

And then from there on it is just like all around in the shower clean up.

00:33:29:15 - 00:33:34:23

Luna

Was that your first experience with Golden Shower ask? I did that count as a shower Golden spread.

00:33:35:00 - 00:33:40:16

James

You know, so it wasn't. No, it wasn't my first time. I think she knew I was interested because we talked about it.

00:33:40:16 - 00:33:41:11

Luna

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:33:41:11 - 00:34:06:00

James

So we talked about things that, that, that I want to deal with she likes and let her off. So I had done it before with someone else. I went into place and I said I want to be peed on this lady. And she's like domineering. She's she's kind of mean, which was good. Yell at me and degraded. And she actually started choking me as well while she peed on me.

00:34:06:01 - 00:34:15:08

James

So, oh my God. Although I never went back to her, it was enjoyable for me. That's kind of the first experience I had with that.

00:34:15:10 - 00:34:16:23

Luna

That's a big first experience.

00:34:17:00 - 00:34:29:00

James

Yes. For other than, you know, doing it while I'm standing in the shower with my clothes on them. Yeah, well, I'm in the shower anyway. Okay. So go ahead and do what.

00:34:29:02 - 00:34:37:08

Luna

Is that something that you would want to explore more, or do you feel like you've gotten the parts of it that are interesting to you out of the way, or is there, is there more that that you would want to experience?

00:34:37:12 - 00:34:55:17

James

I think I've gotten for the golden showers. I think that's pretty much where we're going to go with that. I don't think there's anything else I kind of missed a spot about, like splashing more really got me into it or whatever. What I was thinking, because I would say I would go and find these mud puddles and splash around in my house.

00:34:55:17 - 00:35:15:02

James

When I was older and married, I found out about this race and they called it Mud Heroes. So you go around, it's an obstacle course with these different obstacles, and you'd have to roll through mud and crawl on the ground and climb over these little rope ladders and that kind of thing. But this sounds really good. This sounds something like vigilant.

00:35:15:04 - 00:35:32:20

James

So I just I signed up and I went on my own. I didn't tell anybody I was going. I just went and did it. And they sort of said, you know, you can dress up in costume or whatever. Most people just wear shorts and a t shirt. I said, well, I wore long pants and a dress shirt and this what the hell?

00:35:32:21 - 00:35:40:03

James

I'll just go and do it. I found it, it was like, oh my God, this is so good.

00:35:40:05 - 00:35:56:18

James

And so the next year I took my wife and we both did it, and she was dressed in a t shirt choice of and I got the full dress and went through the whole race. And so with my partner that does the splashing with me, she's like, tell me all about this race, where can I sign up? And but because of Covid, they haven't had it for a while.

00:35:56:21 - 00:36:00:16

James

So hoping next year she'll be able to sign up and try because she wants to do it.

00:36:00:18 - 00:36:11:06

Luna

That's so cool! I would love to hear also a little bit more about group sex. You mentioned being into it. Is that something that you like want to do more of, or have experienced or speak to that for us a little bit?

00:36:11:08 - 00:36:35:21

James

Yeah. So again, I was doing the washing sessions and want to explore a little further. So what did I do? I heard about this club from somebody and maybe I'll go in and I'll try it out. So I signed up and bought a membership and went in and I thought, oh, am I going to do so? There's places in the club where you can be clothed and there's places where you can be naked, or you can wear a towel or whatever.

00:36:36:02 - 00:36:56:20

James

Well, I'm going to do this. I'm going to go all in. I'll just go got naked, went to the bar and sat down and so the first time I went, not much happened. Pretty nervous. I just basically talked to the bartender, chatted with some people, kind of got the lay of the land at the club, how it works, how everything works, and a lot of it has to do with consent.

00:36:56:20 - 00:37:18:11

James

So they have these rooms that are private rooms. So if the doors close, you don't approach, you stay away, the doors open, you can inquire and go in. There's nobody there. It's a free for all. You go into the room okay. And then they have these larger areas where they have these huge beds, basically everybody for themselves out there, and they have a dance floor and other area in a bar.

00:37:18:15 - 00:37:37:18

James

They call it the library, and it's got all the dungeons and stuff in there. Okay. Which has glory halls and all kinds of stuff in there. So the second time I went again, I was naked and I thought, I'll just walk around. I walked into the area where all the sex happens, and there was another guy with me.

00:37:37:18 - 00:37:51:15

James

We're kind of beside each other. The door was open and there was a couple inside. They were going at it in the room, in the private room, and so this guy walked up to the door and asked if he could come inside. They looked at me and said, okay, here we come in. And so I was right behind him.

00:37:51:15 - 00:38:19:04

James

I thought, this is my chance. So I walked over and I said, do you mind if I come in as well? Yeah, come on in. More the merrier. So that was my first experience with group sex and I'm really nervous. So he's kind of watching what was going on. And the one guy was watching the husband and wife go at it together, and then they would stop and we'll start pleasuring the woman sucking on her breasts.

00:38:19:06 - 00:38:39:18

James

Think of her. And then this guy that I came in with was starting to get really hard. And I thought, this is kind of interesting. I can't believe I'm going to ask this, but I asked him, I said, do you mind if I touch? And he's like, yeah, no. Okay. Go ahead. So I grabbed him and I started stroking him, cupping his balls.

00:38:39:20 - 00:38:55:15

James

I said, do you mind if I just lick it? So and so I just dove right in and started licking, sucking. And that's kind of where that started. That was the first, first time I had done it with, of course, the lows before, but this is the first time with a live person.

00:38:55:19 - 00:38:57:16

Luna

How was it for you?

00:38:57:18 - 00:39:17:22

James

It was exciting. I found it really odd. It got me so hot right away. And that whole experience in that room, it was like touching, feeling, everybody grabbing and sucking. It ended up the husband was on one of her boobs. I was on the other one.

00:39:17:22 - 00:39:19:01

Luna

So hot.

00:39:19:03 - 00:39:30:23

James

The other guy was was going hotter. And then she had a hand on her husband's cock. Hand on mine sort of relaxes at the same time, and we just sort of dumped it all over her.

00:39:31:01 - 00:39:34:03

Luna

That's amazing. Such a great way to say it.

00:39:34:05 - 00:39:42:12

James

When everything got, we had a conversation and we laughed and showered up and laughed and wow, I got to do that again.

00:39:42:12 - 00:39:43:13

Luna

Awesome.

00:39:43:15 - 00:39:45:00

James

It was so much fun.

00:39:45:02 - 00:39:51:07

Luna

It sounds like a great swingers club. Was it like your first try finding one or did you like have to search for community first?

00:39:51:07 - 00:40:22:02

James

Try one. Good try. Yes, it was very lucky. And then they have theme nights as well. So I decided okay, well it had this thing that it was called T Tuesdays. So trans any gender whatever you decide to define yourself as that's the other night. So I thought well I'll go, I'll try it out. So I put on some stockings and a bra and panties at the side of the bar, had a few drinks looking around, and oh, this is this is kind of weird.

00:40:22:02 - 00:40:37:04

James

I don't know why I said this is this could be good here, could turn into a total flop. And then I went out and it was getting kind of busy in the bar area. So I thought, I'll go into the other room. That didn't seem to be anybody there where all the sex happens because it was early in the evening.

00:40:37:04 - 00:41:03:11

James

So I went out, sort of sat on a couch having a quiet drink, and this guy in a dress comes up, sits right down beside me and grabs me and starts feeling me up. Okay, so just to be good. So I started grabbing them to do the same thing, feeling him up. Next thing you know, we're on one of the giant beds and we were kind of rolling around feeling each other, and then he started sucking on my cock.

00:41:03:13 - 00:41:22:23

James

Wow, this is good. And then so the next thing is he wanted reciprocation. And I said no problem. So he lay down and I got down on my knees and I started doing it back. And then I kind of looked up around and there was like 20 people at.

00:41:23:01 - 00:41:24:22

Luna

How was it for you being watched?

00:41:25:00 - 00:41:30:05

James

I loved it, okay. I absolutely loved it. It was fantastic. It made it even more hot.

00:41:30:05 - 00:41:38:22

Luna

Oh wow. Have you gone back and like, done more dress at night sense or was that just your first experience doing that? Is it something that you were like into?

00:41:39:00 - 00:41:55:23

James

No, that was the first time I had done that. I haven't gone back to dress up since. I would mind training again. I just the opportunity hasn't been there. And then there was another time I was at the club as well, and I sort of chatted with these people online. I've said this one woman go, she says, I need some subs for tonight.

00:41:56:00 - 00:42:15:12

James

And I'm like, I signed up right, okay, okay. Where and when? She said the date. And unfortunately it was just me and one other person that came on or the guy that came to. She was late getting to the club. So we met at the dance floor was not down and I explained to I kind of nervous. I'm not sure I've ever met you before.

00:42:15:12 - 00:42:36:21

James

So you started chatting and then the next thing you know, she's all over me, rubbing me, kissing me and making out in front of like the whole club. They're all watching us do this thing on the couch. And then the guy showed up and we started the whole thing over again. Conversation. And then she says we should get going because, you know, it's going to fill up pretty quick.

00:42:36:23 - 00:42:59:21

James

So we get going, we got to get a room. So went into the private room, she shut the door on anybody else. And the three of us had like, it was like an hour and a half much. She did lots of sucking. She's like, get him ready, get him hard for me. So I started sucking him. Sucking involves hard.

00:42:59:23 - 00:43:21:08

James

And then she's like, okay, now you get him ready. And she just kind of wants us to direct us on what to do with each other. And then she had known this guy before, so they had a little routine and he had things that he wanted her to do. And so we basically bent over on the bed and she's like, you can watch, participate, just watch what I would do if she got his ass ready, looked him up.

00:43:21:08 - 00:43:35:12

James

And I'm like, we got to do this. I put my sister, I'm like, what? And it took about 20 minutes to get him wide enough, but she had her whole this.

00:43:35:14 - 00:43:37:15

Luna

And you got a front row seat.

00:43:37:16 - 00:43:57:02

James

I had a front row seat. I'm like, I don't think I can do that. I and she says, oh knowledge is is this takes a lot of practice. It was like the whole time while she's getting him, opening him up, getting it ready and she's like, now you go over to the to his head. He's got to be working on doing this.

00:43:57:03 - 00:44:00:20

James

Watch him give me a blowjob while he's doing this whole thing.

00:44:00:23 - 00:44:01:16

Luna

Amazing.

00:44:01:22 - 00:44:10:20

James

There were times when I would when I feel like was going to get close, so I would tap on the shoulder and stop, okay? Because you don't want to come too early.

00:44:10:21 - 00:44:11:06

Luna

Yeah.

00:44:11:06 - 00:44:28:10

James

Yeah, yeah. So he would stop and then I would just take a step back inside of what she was doing. We were going on for so long. He eventually came, but I was giving him a blowjob because he had condiments. And then, she asked me if I wanted to come into him from behind, and I said, well, I've never done that.

00:44:28:10 - 00:44:59:07

James

I don't think I'm comfortable. So she was fine with that. And then he had to leave early. So, you know, people have to shower. So it was just the two of us in the room and I thought we were done. So like, no, no, no, we're not done yet. And she says it's my turn. And so, so I spent the next 40 minutes pleasuring her and I ended up, I had my basically my whole hand in her vagina, and she was screaming because she would direct me and how to where to go and what.

00:44:59:08 - 00:45:15:04

James

Like, I thought I was always pretty good, but I've never done it like that. That's time. And she was screaming. And it is kind of weird because the rooms are the rooms, but the walls, the golden ceilings kind of open up. Yeah, everybody. You could hear.

00:45:15:04 - 00:45:18:04

Luna

Everything. Wow.

00:45:18:06 - 00:45:29:05

James

And at the end, when she finally came, she says, okay, now it's your turn. And she finish me off with a blowjob and then we came out of the room and all these people are looking at the room. What the heck.

00:45:29:07 - 00:45:35:00

Luna

Is so cool? It's so cool to be the person walking out of that room. Oh my gosh.

00:45:35:05 - 00:45:46:02

James

Since, yeah, she made me feel really good. Then we spent, a couple more about another half hour after chatting, after we cleaned up, and then, we just sort of walked around the club watching other people.

00:45:46:04 - 00:45:47:15

Luna

Oh my gosh.

00:45:47:17 - 00:45:58:05

James

Apparently she was quite popular because she pretty much knew everybody that was there. And like she says, you've met this person and you've chatted with them online and I'm like, oh, now I put a name to the face.

00:45:58:07 - 00:46:04:18

Luna

Beautiful. What wonderful community. Yeah, I have a question for you about assholes.

00:46:04:19 - 00:46:06:06

James

Yes.

00:46:06:07 - 00:46:20:01

Luna

You mentioned being pegged and also mentioned not being ready to come in that guys asked, are you interested in giving anal at all or is it more of a like just playing with your own butthole pleasures? Or kind of what do you fall on that spectrum?

00:46:20:03 - 00:46:42:22

James

It's kind of more playing with the home. I wouldn't mind trying it, but I don't know if I keep the hard long enough because I don't know, I'm probably have some kind of subconscious hangups around that. Okay, I have no problem. So if a guy's give me a blowjob, that's just easy. It just feels good. I don't know, I, I've never done anal with the woman either, so maybe that's part of the hang of it.

00:46:42:22 - 00:46:44:18

James

Maybe it's not genders.

00:46:44:20 - 00:46:50:06

Luna

Oh, okay. I yeah. Are you saying that you think you would come fast or get soft? Because it is, I.

00:46:50:06 - 00:46:51:02

James

Think I would get off.

00:46:51:04 - 00:47:03:08

Luna

Okay okay. Good good. Yeah. Important. Okay. Got it, got it. Yeah. Well, that makes sense. If you're not experienced with an asshole. Okay. But also from the perspective of, like, dirtiness could be a big term.

00:47:03:09 - 00:47:05:04

James

Yes. It could be a big turn on.

00:47:05:06 - 00:47:06:21

Luna

That's part of what does it for me.

00:47:06:23 - 00:47:11:13

James

And I think that's something that I might want to explore. I just have to find the right person in.

00:47:11:15 - 00:47:31:16

Luna

The right in the road. Maybe this is a great introduction. Yeah. Cool. What are there, like physical details? Did we skip over any parts of your body? I know we didn't, like focus on your penis, but we have been focusing on texture and sensation and feeling. But what else about your, like, physical, sexy specifics do we need to know?

00:47:31:22 - 00:47:53:11

James

Oh, the neck is a big turn on for the ears in my ear is huge for me. I just love kissing as well. That's a big turn on for me. I think that goes back to my high school days, because we would spend so much time just kissing and making out, and it was just something I remember and something I always, I think of as being very sexy.

00:47:53:14 - 00:48:03:13

Luna

Totally. Well, I feel like most people I talked to who are into sensations and like sensory play, like that's a big part of it, like the physical aspect. I really relate to that anyway.

00:48:03:15 - 00:48:27:03

James

And just exploring another person's body. Yeah, I could spend an hour just, you know, moving over and kissing everything and licking everything and touching whole time. You're doing that, you have to communicate. This is how does this feel to you? Or, you know, does this do anything for you? Does it make you hot or is it something that you want to continue with and that kind of thing?

00:48:27:05 - 00:48:47:23

James

So the biggest thing is communication. So what I would meet with the person for the specific sessions or any other sessions. Sometimes I would go, day or so and, or we text each other and just talk about the session coming up. You know, what we do. And I just find that. So yeah. So sometimes it's anticipation leading up to it.

00:48:48:01 - 00:48:55:01

Luna

Oh my gosh, the whole day. Like when I have an actual date planned and I know it, it's going to have fucking in it. Just everything is a turn on leading up to it.

00:48:55:01 - 00:49:19:11

James

Yeah. For me, you know, someone else grabbing my cock is a big turn. I just have to be. Just touch your white feather, run your fingers over even my stomach. So I know that my wife and I making love. She'll just come along and just brush her hand along my stomach. Oh my God, stop that. And then, of course, the whole ramming in the balls.

00:49:19:11 - 00:49:34:13

James

And like, I know people have been turned on by people licking someone's eyes. It's not a big thing for me. I don't know, I've had it done, but it doesn't really get me hot. Okay? I like doing it to the people, but it's not a thing for me.

00:49:34:15 - 00:49:55:10

Luna

Yeah, I get that. I have days where I'm like, yes. And then I have days where I'm like, oh, I'm oh, that's my. But you know, like I've been in both places. How is it for you to receive when you're not necessarily in a power dynamic role? So for me as a submissive, I'm projecting here, it's much easier for me to receive when I'm being submissive because I'm like, okay.

00:49:55:12 - 00:50:11:03

Luna

And then sometimes when I'm with a partner who isn't necessarily holding power over me consensually, shall we say, then sometimes I'm like, body, I have to, and it's a little bit more effort for me to be present with them and receive. Does that question make sense?

00:50:11:05 - 00:50:14:10

James

He kind of does, although that doesn't happen to me.

00:50:14:10 - 00:50:15:15

Luna

That's what I'm curious about. Okay.

00:50:15:15 - 00:50:37:09

James

Yeah. If it's a fun power dynamic, like if we're kind of on equal footing. Yeah, it's kind of like a give and take. So the thing about that is it's not always one person doing the giving for a while and then switch to the other person. It's kind of a mix of both. So you give some and then receive some and give some and receive some.

00:50:37:09 - 00:50:52:12

James

And it kind of goes back and forth that way. For when I do it with my wife or, or someone in the, in a non power relationship, but in a power relationship it's more that person is just giving you all the instructions. Yeah. And I don't mind that. I love that.

00:50:52:14 - 00:50:55:23

Luna

Totally. I'm like, you experience it. It's very relaxing.

00:50:56:03 - 00:51:17:07

James

I find it very relaxing. I mean, the one time she actually tied me up to the chair and she had all of the foodstuffs go, and I was sitting in my clothes. She was just basically trashing me with everything that was there and just dumping it on me. You know? I was a mess from head to toe and then ended up she got this huge cake.

00:51:17:09 - 00:51:35:10

James

She told me to lay down on the ground with the cake on my face. And then she sat the cake which is around my faces. And you start eating the cake and I'm like, oh, that's so cool. And I think I came right there. I don't think she touched. I can touch myself to you.

00:51:35:10 - 00:51:52:01

Luna

Touch me. Each man. Yeah. Okay. So it sounds like your orgasms. It sounds like you can wait for them for a while if you need to, but it also sounds like they can just happen when you're like, let yourself arousal wise, can you tell us a little bit about your how you understand your orgasms?

00:51:52:03 - 00:52:00:15

James

It depends. I don't know. I don't think I can wait. It sounds like I can, but I have to actually pull away, pull back.

00:52:00:17 - 00:52:09:08

Luna

But that's the form of waiting. It's like like when I used to get edge, I'd be like mercy. Because, you know, you get to that edge. And so, yes. So knowing when to pull back is part of waiting I think.

00:52:09:10 - 00:52:20:04

James

Yes, yes. So I can do that all night, like, okay, pull back and then continue on the person because I just love giving more. That's sometimes more than receiving.

00:52:20:06 - 00:52:35:00

Luna

Okay. Is that part of your vanilla switch abilities like when you because you are giving. Maybe that's part of it's just a psychological thing with the giving in the receiving. I'm just obsessed about it right now because I am not in a dynamic and I'm dating and I'm like, I'm like thinking too much in vanilla things.

00:52:35:00 - 00:52:47:00

James

Maybe it could be. It seems my wife will have sex. Sometimes we will even have penetrative sex and I'll just pleasure her and then that'll be it. And then she'll say, do you want anything? I no. I'm good.

00:52:47:02 - 00:52:51:07

Luna

Amazing. Are there any specific turn off that you have? We haven't discussed them.

00:52:51:10 - 00:53:04:06

James

I don't know if I have any specific turn offs. Basically I'll try anything once just to see how it feels. Feels good. I'll continue. If not, well, I tried it. I can scratch it off lists.

00:53:04:08 - 00:53:13:21

Luna

Amazing. Okay. What about. I'm just going to list some things and you tell me if any of these, like, spark your interest or things. You engage with sexting, nudes and sexting.

00:53:13:23 - 00:53:29:01

James

In terms of of sexting and sending. I don't do that. I prefer to do it in work, like, you know, to meet somebody. I'm not going to send nudes to somebody over there or anything like that. It's just not my thing.

00:53:29:03 - 00:53:35:04

Luna

What about receiving them? Well, I guess you're in a partnership where that doesn't make as much. I mean, you're why so many people.

00:53:35:06 - 00:53:43:03

James

You know, I can honestly say I've never received one. And if I did, I think I would just be like, okay, yeah. That's nice.

00:53:43:03 - 00:53:43:18

Luna

Yeah, yeah.

00:53:43:19 - 00:53:57:03

James

For me, it's more the touching and the being in the moment and present. Yeah. As opposed to looking at a picture even. And I've looked at it, I was never big into it other than maybe get some ideas.

00:53:57:05 - 00:54:06:21

Luna

But it's so funny because I notice such a split between people who are very visually stimulated or auditory and mentally stimulated, and then those of us who are like, just touch me.

00:54:06:23 - 00:54:11:15

James

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Nothing beats a hug. Yeah, yeah.

00:54:11:17 - 00:54:13:15

Luna

What about sex dreams? Have you had any.

00:54:13:17 - 00:54:35:04

James

You know what? There's a lot of times I would when I go to bed, that would be the thing I would be thinking about when I fell asleep dreaming about, you know, doing something, having sex or being tied up and being made to do something that I didn't want to do or that kind of thing. And I would go to bed dreaming about that and think about it.

00:54:35:04 - 00:54:52:18

James

But in terms of being totally asleep and then having a dream about sex, maybe a handful of times doesn't happen often. I would mind for that more often, but when I was younger it would happen more often. So I would wake up and all of a sudden, oh my god, what happened?

00:54:52:19 - 00:55:01:19

Luna

I really just wonder what the whole world would be like if we all woke up from like, a sex dream every day. I know we can't control our dreams and all that, but I'm just like, if we can't have real getting laid.

00:55:01:22 - 00:55:04:13

James

I think it would be a lot nicer to each other.

00:55:04:15 - 00:55:13:05

Luna

If there was like a daily masturbation. Not a mandate, but encouragement recommendation. The Surgeon General recommends a certain amount of masturbation a week.

00:55:13:06 - 00:55:28:03

James

Pretty much. I used to do that all the time for saying, you go have a shower, well, let's do some masturbation. And it was almost a daily thing. And now it's kind of as I've gotten older, it's down to every other day. This is a pretty good oh, this is a pretty good. Yeah.

00:55:28:05 - 00:55:33:07

Luna

But there are other parts of your submissive self that you haven't yet explored. But want to.

00:55:33:09 - 00:55:54:22

James

Yeah, I think so. Probably more in terms of being submissive in front of a group. So as I said to the at this club they have all of these items in the one room, it's an entrance across all that kind of thing. And we just love if someone, you know strap me up to one of these things.

00:55:55:00 - 00:56:16:18

James

Just had the group come a long way along here or do something. I've actually talked about my splotchy partner about going to the club and and just having her put a leash on me and just walk me around. And if you see someone that you want me to give a blowjob to or a way to do it, or premium and the glory hole, and I'll sit there for an hour based on your instructions or whatever.

00:56:16:19 - 00:56:21:06

James

We haven't done that yet, but that's something that I would like to explore a bit more.

00:56:21:08 - 00:56:23:10

Luna

Have you ever been on either side of a glory hole?

00:56:23:12 - 00:56:28:03

James

Yes. On the receiving. So I was being received. It was something like.

00:56:28:05 - 00:56:32:18

Luna

How big is the hole? Because what if you get cut on the edges?

00:56:32:20 - 00:56:44:04

James

Is it cuts, it cushioned, it's completely questionable. It's fairly large okay. But you can't see inside. It's large enough so that you can and it's dark inside so you can't see who's on the other side.

00:56:44:05 - 00:56:47:08

Luna

Okay. Do both fit through or do they stay on your side okay.

00:56:47:08 - 00:56:51:00

James

No, they would stay on I would say on your side unless you had really small.

00:56:51:02 - 00:56:57:05

Luna

I want to make a keyhole shaped one so that you could get.

00:56:57:07 - 00:57:12:15

James

But basically there's a code. So if the glory hole has a towel hanging outside of it, that means there's somebody there. So walk up to tug in the towel like that. The thing is, you don't know who's on the other side. Yeah. You don't know if it's male or female on the other side.

00:57:12:17 - 00:57:15:04

Luna

Great at the way to bring us all together.

00:57:15:06 - 00:57:19:20

James

Exactly. So to me, it doesn't matter. Yeah, yeah. Well, just loads.

00:57:19:22 - 00:57:26:15

Luna

Is there anything else about your sex life, other stories or details that we don't know yet that we need to know about you?

00:57:26:17 - 00:57:43:09

James

I've had a lot of periods where not much has happened, and then I've had some where a lot has happened, especially recently, even with people with Covid at the club scene hasn't happened until after Covid. So that was the big thing at the club. They wouldn't let you in unless you were totally, completely vaccinated.

00:57:43:09 - 00:57:44:17

Luna

00:57:44:18 - 00:58:03:13

James

So that was a big thing for me. Yeah. So it made it safer. But I thinking about the club I think going back in it, I used to even when I was dating my current wife. So we would go camping with friends all the time. And I would always love to go skinny dip in the lake, you know, exhibitionism thing too.

00:58:03:15 - 00:58:28:23

James

And she would be quite as into it as I was. I get it. And. And I think that's kind of where the inklings started that I that's something I'd want to explore. There was one regret I had. Again, it was in high school. We were at a party. I actually was in between the two girlfriend. So I was at a party by myself, and this other couple came up to me and said, you want to come to our house?

00:58:29:00 - 00:58:53:13

James

Yeah, sure. I guess just come to our house. You have to be naked as soon as you walk in the door. You like to be naked. They wanted to do a threesome. This is what she's trying to say. And I just. At that time, it wasn't something I thought about, I said, I declined, and I said, thinking about it later, what was I think I should, which went ahead and got it and it always stuck with me.

00:58:53:13 - 00:58:57:13

James

Yeah. Until I started exploring these feelings. I met.

00:58:57:15 - 00:58:59:07

Luna

A seed, planted.

00:58:59:09 - 00:59:01:00

James

A seed planted.

00:59:01:02 - 00:59:17:20

Luna

During the times in your life that have felt slower sex wise, what did you do to take care of yourself and or what was happening like? How did you get okay with it? Were you okay with it? How did you get okay with being out of it or whatever? Whatever. With your experience with those times, can you tell us about it?

00:59:17:22 - 00:59:38:05

James

I think a lot of those times I was busy doing other things, like getting things organized in other areas of my life, such as working or figuring out a career path and that kind of thing. So they kind of took me out of that scene not thinking about sex. But as I said before as well, I did a lot of masturbation, so that helped a lot.

00:59:38:05 - 00:59:53:09

James

Yeah, as well. The blocking kind of helped pick up some of that as well. So, yeah, I know I can do this. I can get by. And then sometimes, even though I was dating, I would go up to the bar and somebody you girl.

00:59:53:11 - 00:59:54:15

Luna

Get a lover.

00:59:54:17 - 00:59:58:20

James

Yes. Get some love. And just making out. I just find that so hot.

00:59:59:02 - 01:00:09:12

Luna

Yeah. It really is. So what do you hope to either explore going forward or just what are your sexual hopes for yourself in general for the future?

01:00:09:14 - 01:00:30:16

James

I'm kind of worried that I'm getting to the end of what I want to explore, so I'm hoping that never happens. Okay, there are other things I want to explore. I do want to get my wife involved, and I'm trying to figure out how to do that because I just know it's just not something that she would be into, but it would make it so much more meaningful to me as well.

01:00:30:18 - 01:00:35:18

Luna

Do you mean group scene in general or like splashing in particular? Like, what part are you thinking of.

01:00:35:20 - 01:00:36:20

James

The group scene.

01:00:36:20 - 01:00:37:21

Luna

In particular? Okay, okay.

01:00:37:22 - 01:00:58:17

James

So yeah, we've explored this long and she's not into it at all. Yeah, I think more on the group scene. But again, I think it's for her. It's she's got to have that emotional connection to the other person. Whereas I can sort of separate that. Like if I'm at the club and am doing it with somebody, I don't have that emotional attachment to that person.

01:00:58:19 - 01:01:06:04

James

Yeah. So to me, it's just you're just a random stranger to her doing it. It's like an exchange of services and that's it. We're done.

01:01:06:06 - 01:01:09:16

Luna

This is the play, friend. Play friends are great, but they're play friends.

01:01:09:18 - 01:01:28:19

James

Yeah, exactly. Play friends. But in terms of what I want to explore, I haven't really thought about other things that I want to try out. Maybe more towards the male partner and maybe some more ass play, that kind of thing. But again, to me, one of the biggest things I'd like to try is being submissive in front of a group.

01:01:28:21 - 01:01:29:19

James

Yeah.

01:01:29:21 - 01:01:37:07

Luna

Okay, so if you could go back in time and give younger you a piece of sex advice, what age or ages would you pick and what would you say?

01:01:37:09 - 01:01:59:11

James

I probably go back to just very high school and kind of tell myself, you know, what you feeling is okay. If it feels good, you could go ahead and do it. Don't be ashamed of the feelings that you have and talk to other people. Biggest thing for me is communication. So communicate what you're feeling and what you want to try out with somebody else.

01:01:59:11 - 01:02:22:03

James

If they want to do that. If not, then you know what the biggest thing to me is? Don't be ashamed. Because at that time, my shame year was probably like a ten. I think if more people went around and not felt ashamed in terms of sex and what they like and what they don't like, you're not alone. There are other people that feel the same way as you do, so there's no reason to feel ashamed.

01:02:22:03 - 01:02:32:01

James

If you like it, then it's good. If other people don't like it, that's not their thing. That's fine. Yeah, it's no reason to be ashamed because you like it. Someone else does.

01:02:32:03 - 01:02:35:17

Luna

Hallelujah! I wish we could just tell all our little selves.

01:02:35:17 - 01:02:38:14

James

But yes.

01:02:38:16 - 01:02:43:16

Luna

James, thank you so much for sharing on sex stories. I'm so grateful for you.

01:02:43:18 - 01:02:48:11

James

Well, thank you for having me. It was enjoyable and I feel really good talking to you.

01:02:48:12 - 01:02:51:11

Luna

Okay. Do you have a sex question for me?

01:02:51:12 - 01:03:02:04

James

I think the question is, I know you're a producer, you've been in film and that kind of thing. And I just kind of curious about your motivation towards doing the podcast and talking about sex.