39 polyamorous white queer cis female who lives with her life partner and kids, has a 2nd committed partnership, and dates casually.

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00:00:00:05 - 00:00:21:06

Luna

Our guest today is a 39 year old polyamorous, white, queer, cis woman who lives with her partner and kids, has a second committed partnership and dates casually. She's fairly new to the kinky scene and so far leans pretty submissive. She enjoys being restrained, choked, smacked, bitten, and loves rough sex. Joining us from the Pacific Northwest. Welcome free bird.

00:00:21:07 - 00:00:23:06

Freebird

Hello. Thank you for having me.

00:00:23:11 - 00:00:35:07

Luna

Oh, my gosh, I'm so excited. Can you start out by telling our sweet listeners, if you had to rate yourself on a sexual shaming meter today, with ten being the most full of shame and one being not so shaming, where do you feel right now?

00:00:35:09 - 00:00:56:06

Freebird

Honestly, it's hard to imagine feeling completely shameless. But yeah, I would say right now probably like a six over seven because I know we're about to talk about my sex life. Like I would say, it's more like a 2 or 3 just talking about sex in general. But when we're talking about me, it's quite a bit higher. Okay.

00:00:56:08 - 00:01:01:23

Luna

Does it fluctuate around like total strangers, acquaintances and lovers for you?

00:01:02:00 - 00:01:08:18

Freebird

I would say it's higher just when the attention is on me, no matter who the person is. Probably less with my lovers.

00:01:09:00 - 00:01:12:13

Luna

Are you shy about attention in sexy situations?

00:01:12:15 - 00:01:30:17

Freebird

I'm discovering that not so much like when the acts are happening. I do tend to have a exhibitionist streak. But yeah, talking about it is a challenge. Sometimes. Okay. Okay. Yeah. So I'm here to flex that, I guess.

00:01:30:19 - 00:01:45:04

Luna

Thank you for being here. Because if you're shaming, if it is that hard, that's like pretty amazing. And it's so rare for the shaming meter high people to come talk. So I feel very honored and grateful. Can you give us a little overview of what your sex life is like right now?

00:01:45:06 - 00:02:13:03

Freebird

Like you said, I live with my life partner and my husband and I have a committed other partner as well. My sex life with my husband is actually not very active. It's not been active for quite some time, and that is definitely a lot of where my own shame comes from, because we've been together for quite a long time, but we have not been sexually compatible.

00:02:13:05 - 00:02:39:06

Freebird

Like it took a really long time to really accept that that was the case and for some reason, acknowledging that and saying that out loud to ourselves or to me at least felt like almost an invalidation of the bond that we share. So that's been something that we've really been working on, more like I've been working on that personally, because my relationship with him is very, very strong.

00:02:39:09 - 00:03:08:22

Freebird

It's just not sexual. But my sex life with my other committed partner is awesome. It's amazing. And it's long distance, so we're able to see each other every few weeks or so. And it is very satisfying. And wonderful. And then in addition to that, I do see people casually, and I'm getting more involved in my local Bdsm community and engaging in play that way.

00:03:09:00 - 00:03:14:01

Luna

Amazing. What does sexy mean to you?

00:03:14:03 - 00:03:38:03

Freebird

To me, sexy is it has an element of confidence to it, but also really, really. An even more important part of that is a level of self-awareness, like a pretty high level of self-awareness and the ability to communicate that. So like when I meet somebody who is just very comfortable in their own skin, when they're able to communicate with me the things that they like to have done to them, and they're able to communicate the things that they want to do.

00:03:38:03 - 00:03:41:01

Freebird

To me, I find that very sexy.

00:03:41:03 - 00:03:43:05

Luna

When do you feel sexiest?

00:03:43:06 - 00:04:05:18

Freebird

I feel sexiest when I feel powerful, and that takes work and maintenance for me. I found that I need to dedicate time and energy toward that, but I feel sexiest when I am just comfortable in my body. I'm comfortable in my skin, and I'm allowing myself to take up space wherever I am.

00:04:05:20 - 00:04:08:06

Luna

What counts as sex for you?

00:04:08:08 - 00:04:34:04

Freebird

For so long it was just penetration. That's what I thought. And now that's part of it, sure, but it can be honestly, as strange as the sound. I think you can be having sex with someone across the room. Like, I don't think you need to be touching somebody to be having sex with them. I think there's a level of eroticism and intent that can be reciprocated between individuals.

00:04:34:04 - 00:04:44:00

Freebird

And so, like, even without touching, I think that you can share a sexual energy and have a similar experience to when you're touching them back.

00:04:44:00 - 00:04:51:06

Luna

Yeah. Did you ever get an explicit health and safety talk as a young person or a lesson in consent?

00:04:51:07 - 00:05:14:21

Freebird

I would say no. Like I mean the health and safety talk that I got was the abstinence based. I grew up in a purity culture, and abstinence was heavily emphasized. I never got to talk about consent and, well into my adulthood and even now, still like consent. The idea of it and the spirit behind it has really eluded me for much of my life.

00:05:14:22 - 00:05:55:20

Freebird

It's been something that I never fully understood enough to expect it from other people. I would argue that the messages that I received growing up and until quite recently, is it's my responsibility to anticipate the intent and actions of others, and that when somebody was sexually interested in me, it would mean danger that sex was dangerous, that people who wanted sex were dangerous, and that I needed to protect myself from them, rather than the idea of consent and having a conversation with somebody.

00:05:55:21 - 00:05:59:23

Freebird

So that's been its own path as well for me.

00:06:00:01 - 00:06:04:05

Luna

Okay. And it sounds like that's still active and unfolding for you.

00:06:04:06 - 00:06:12:16

Freebird

It is. Yeah, it's I think even just this past weekend, I would say I had a stepping stone with that and those conversations. Yeah.

00:06:12:18 - 00:06:37:02

Luna

Yeah. I relate heavily. And I think my clear boundaries around safety and needs are one of the reasons I historically have been rejected so much. And I'm just starting to put the pieces together that my friends who don't have the interpersonal problems. That was a label I made for myself. Those are a lot of the same people who have overlap with when it comes to like their own difficulty in expressing a need or identifying it or whatever.

00:06:37:04 - 00:07:01:02

Luna

So I'm making an effort to talk about consent more, because I think for me, the definitions from Tracy Easton and Janet Hardy, from Ethical Slut people of mutual collaboration toward mutual pleasure, I'm sure I'm butchering the way they say it's great, but that's like what my brain can remember. Like mutual ongoing collaboration toward mutual pleasure that is agreed upon.

00:07:01:04 - 00:07:19:13

Luna

It's just so wild to me that that is not a given for so many of us. And I totally also relate to the feeling of taking on all of that responsibility. So can you share an example from your adult life of a time where there was an explicit yes, and it was so fucking sexy?

00:07:19:15 - 00:07:52:23

Freebird

Yes. So a few weeks ago I went to my first Bdsm party. Like a sex party, and I was there intending to just observe. And someone approached me and we were having a great conversation and chatting up, and he asked if I wanted to do a scene with him, and I was feeling more comfortable once I was there and just kind of relaxing into my body a bit, and I said like, well, that wasn't what I was intending on doing and being here, but sure, we can have a conversation about it.

00:07:53:01 - 00:08:11:21

Freebird

And so I shared that I was new there and that I didn't know much, and I was inexperienced in that world. And he's like, oh, great. Have you ever negotiated a scene? And so he actually stepped me through and gave me props. And, you know, by the end of the conversation, I was like, yeah, like, let's do this.

00:08:11:21 - 00:08:16:16

Freebird

Let's try that out. And it was awesome. That's amazing.

00:08:16:18 - 00:08:25:00

Luna

I am so glad to hear that. That was your first experience, and it sounds like it was your first experience in a public kinky play space.

00:08:25:02 - 00:08:42:07

Freebird

Yeah. We wound up doing an impact scene and it was just great. It was such a great step into that and it was a very positive experience for me. I was grateful that he was so kind and patient and he he asked me he's like, well, you know, I find you very attractive. Would you like to make out with me?

00:08:42:07 - 00:09:02:03

Freebird

And I said, no, thank you. And he's like, no problem. Like it didn't bat an eye or anything. And then, you know, he's like, are you open? Like, would you like to be restrained? Like, here are some implements that I can hit you with. Like how do you feel about these? And we just he's like, is there anywhere that I can't touch or anywhere you don't want me to touch?

00:09:02:03 - 00:09:12:15

Freebird

Like, do you want to touch me? Like, just really like baby steps through the whole conversation. And it was just really welcome and comfortable. And I really appreciated it.

00:09:12:17 - 00:09:29:12

Luna

Oh, that is so amazing. Thank you for sharing that. And it sounds like based on the fact that your tone of voice is good, everything was respected that you laid down in uniform. So did you feel safe? Were you able to kind of like let go of that feeling of like always needing to, like, monitor other persons?

00:09:29:13 - 00:09:51:05

Freebird

I did, and in fact, even while it was happening, like during the scene, like negotiations were done and now we were playing and he goes, wait, are you ticklish? And I said, yes. He was like, damn it, I wish we would have negotiated that in. We'll have to do that next time. And so since we didn't talk about it, like he didn't want to change anything because I was new and we were getting to know each other.

00:09:51:05 - 00:09:56:16

Freebird

And so I just I really appreciated that he didn't push me at all.

00:09:56:18 - 00:10:18:07

Luna

I would love to share a recent story that I have and just insert myself here as a contrast. I recently was negotiating with someone who has years of experience. We never know what someone's type of experience is. We never know the texture. There's just a number of years of experience as a rope top, and we were having a negotiation and I was like, something is strange here.

00:10:18:07 - 00:10:33:11

Luna

And finally I was like, I feel like we're somehow talking about two different pages. Like, what's the negotiation for you? Like, what are we using that word in the same way? Because I sort of was starting to see that there were assumptions and frameworks that were like, not aligned. And I was like, this is not what I'm used to as a standard.

00:10:33:13 - 00:10:51:05

Luna

How do I say that? Not that there's a standard experienced top like someone who actually can lead and does lead. And so he had some of those trappings. Anyway, it got to the point where it was clear that for me, a negotiation is like we negotiate ahead of time, we negotiate before the scene, and then once we say everything, that's the thing, he says.

00:10:51:05 - 00:11:12:04

Luna

I like to negotiate before every single scene. And my understanding, you know, trying to be woke as fuck is that negotiation is always an ongoing conversation. So just because we say things and so there is the point of like, you can always say more. No. But his idea was that in a scene you might say more. Yes. And I said, that's interesting.

00:11:12:04 - 00:11:31:09

Luna

How do you deal with the potentially scary, harmful, problematic idea that, you know, once a submissive gets increased, turned on, she might say yes, she or he or they might say yes to something that they don't want. And he's like, you know, that's one of the tricky parts. And I was just like, yeah, dude. And then we were just doing a little rope tie.

00:11:31:09 - 00:11:46:07

Luna

All we had discussed was doing a rope tie. I discussed that I like to be grabbed, that I like, you know, I'm open to certain types of penetration. And I said, if at some point in the future we get to a sexual relationship like obviously always barriers. But you know, and he didn't have test results from that week like we had talked about that.

00:11:46:09 - 00:12:05:11

Luna

And then when I'm off, I can tied up. This is the first time I'm meeting this person, but I know him through a friend, so I don't feel terrified. That's the moment that he goes, Can daddy put his cock inside you? And I laughed in his face like I literally just birthed. I went, no, and it was such a bummer.

00:12:05:14 - 00:12:28:04

Luna

And he was graceful about it, but it was so disappointing on so many levels because I did communicate clearly everything I said, all of the things he didn't push when I said no. But the fact that he asked at all is a boundary push so that the person I don't play with again. So I just wanted to contrast that with your experience, which is super fucking hot.

00:12:28:06 - 00:12:37:12

Luna

And on these notes of health and safety, how are you around safer sex negotiations? Is that easier or harder like it's especially as you were a pollinator?

00:12:37:14 - 00:12:56:20

Freebird

I don't have a problem with those discussions, and especially in the community, at least the people that I have been engaged with, like it's just super common and expected. It's just like, okay, like we are clearly interested in each other. Like, here's my last testes. Like, here's my deal. And you know, what do you got?

00:12:56:22 - 00:12:59:14

Luna

Amazing. Do you usually go first or do they go first?

00:12:59:19 - 00:13:06:03

Freebird

Usually I go first. But not every time. Yeah. Not every time.

00:13:06:05 - 00:13:16:19

Luna

Okay, so we've got some intro details. We have a feel for who you are. Take us back to your formative years. What do you remember hearing about sex first? What do you remember thinking and feeling about it first?

00:13:16:21 - 00:13:39:14

Freebird

I remember asking the basic question like, so what's with babies? Where do they come from? And then I got just a pretty rudimentary hatchling, I guess. I asked my dad that question. I remember we were in the car driving somewhere, and he was just like, men put their penis in a woman's vagina. And then things happen and I'm like, I think I was in kindergarten.

00:13:39:14 - 00:14:06:09

Freebird

And I remember feeling horrified that, yeah, just just absolutely horrified. And so that was that. I mean, my whole youth and and growing up, sex was, like I said earlier, danger is like it was something to be feared. And that idea of abstinence, I know that that doesn't work for a lot of people, but it worked like a charm for me.

00:14:06:11 - 00:14:14:12

Freebird

I was terrified of engaging in sex and having that in my life until well into my adulthood.

00:14:14:13 - 00:14:17:00

Luna

Do you remember the parts that felt scariest?

00:14:17:02 - 00:14:40:14

Freebird

It felt like I would be off with purity culture, like it felt like it would be tainted and unwanted and unloved. So that message really landed for me, so I wasn't even tempted to engage. So when people teach abstinence and want that results like it works great. If that was the desire. Like it worked really well. Tons of damage though.

00:14:40:18 - 00:14:42:04

Freebird

Lots for me.

00:14:42:06 - 00:14:49:08

Luna

Were you able to experience any desire for yourself for pleasure? Like did it include masturbation that include all of it.

00:14:49:10 - 00:15:11:09

Freebird

To a degree. But I still had a body and it still like was doing things. So I remember taking like Barbie dolls or something into the closet and like making them have sex with each other. And I remember I was young and I figured out a way of masturbating. I didn't touch myself at all. That always scared me, but I would move my legs and like, squeeze things.

00:15:11:11 - 00:15:21:05

Freebird

That was the way that I masturbated until from, like, preschool. Like, I didn't think sexually. That's in preschool, obviously. But at some point, like, I brought in sexy thoughts and got off that way.

00:15:21:05 - 00:15:28:06

Luna

But it just from squeezing in my understanding. Was there anything else that you can you're just shaped so that. Can you still do it?

00:15:28:08 - 00:15:55:17

Freebird

I do it, yeah, I do it, I still do it. And it's one of my orgasm types. And it's just kind of like the blood in my body, like it's held. And then it just releases out and I fall asleep. I used to do it. My mom still talks about it. I don't know if she actually understands what I was doing, but she remembers seeing me at naptime like, do this thing and like, my teachers would talk about it cause like, I'm a kid and I'm on the ground on a mat with everybody else, like, all right, there's them Freebird.

00:15:55:17 - 00:15:59:11

Freebird

Like my mom's, like, she's just relaxing.

00:15:59:13 - 00:16:02:11

Luna

I mean, true.

00:16:02:13 - 00:16:09:03

Freebird

And that was how I engaged with my body for years and.

00:16:09:05 - 00:16:10:23

Luna

True self to orgasm.

00:16:11:00 - 00:16:12:11

Freebird

Yeah, I did and do.

00:16:12:11 - 00:16:13:08

Luna

And you still can't go on.

00:16:13:09 - 00:16:16:02

Freebird

Wow, I love them. This is amazing.

00:16:16:04 - 00:16:22:18

Luna

Was there any guilt feelings around that or was it kind of in a different category because of how like do you remember?

00:16:22:20 - 00:16:43:12

Freebird

It was like my secret. It was like a secret thing that I did. And so I didn't feel so guilty. But I also didn't understand, like I didn't know like I thought I was this odd person who could do this thing. And I never talked about it to anybody. It was just something that I kept to myself.

00:16:43:14 - 00:16:49:01

Luna

Wow. So when and how did partner exploration start unfolding?

00:16:49:03 - 00:17:02:00

Freebird

I had a boyfriend in high school and he was in a similar boat. We would go to his house, I would go to his house every day, and we would go in his room and make out and do like boob stuff and that's it. And we dated.

00:17:02:00 - 00:17:02:21

Luna

For.

00:17:02:23 - 00:17:25:07

Freebird

A couple of years. That was as far as we got. There was just no interest on either. It apparently like he never asked. I never asked to go farther than that. I was 16 or 17. That was it. And as I got older, I had other boyfriends. I think I was 18 before I even felt someone's dick and like some is.

00:17:25:08 - 00:17:37:20

Freebird

He grabbed my hand and like, gonna stick through his pants and again, like my body and my mind were just like, oh my God, that's a dick. You know? It was just scary. I was just I was really scared.

00:17:37:22 - 00:17:45:23

Luna

Was the abstinence culture pervasive? And most of your friendships, too, or did you have any friends for sex? It's like, okay, okay. No. Okay.

00:17:46:01 - 00:17:50:00

Freebird

It was a very sheltered community for my bubble.

00:17:50:00 - 00:18:04:00

Luna

Yeah. The other world was. So then when you're 18 and this guy's putting your hand on his dick, like, how did you get to where you are now? What happens next? What unfolded? And when did you finally start enjoying touching? Well, when did you start touching people? When did you enjoy it?

00:18:04:02 - 00:18:27:16

Freebird

So I've been with my husband. We've been married for a very long time, like we've been together for 18 years, at least. And he was actually my first sexual partner. Intercourse and oral to I'm pretty sure. So we explored that for a while and it would be fun. And then it would be not fun. And when I had our children, the sexual chemistry went way down.

00:18:27:16 - 00:18:44:07

Freebird

Like, that was a huge life shift that I don't think either of us was really prepared for. And so, like the lasting effects from that was just I actually got to a point where I asked myself, am I broken? Like, is there something wrong with me? Like and even to the point where I thought like, am I asexual?

00:18:44:07 - 00:19:12:20

Freebird

Or like there's just no interest, there's no drive, like my body just isn't doing what it seems like it's supposed to do. So that's been a whole journey, and I'm going to skip over like tons of things. But getting to a point where before the pandemic, we started having conversations about opening the marriage, and we did it in a way of like it was really deliberate.

00:19:12:20 - 00:19:45:01

Freebird

We talked about it for probably like two and a half or three years on and off, because it seemed like our options were continue to be together, but then not have this huge element of like being a human or dissolve the relationship and part. And neither of those felt acceptable. So we talked extensively. We got counselors to help us step into this life and actually started engaging with other people late last year.

00:19:45:03 - 00:19:47:01

Luna

Wow. So this is fairly new.

00:19:47:03 - 00:20:09:17

Freebird

It's quite new. I started questioning my sexuality again once it was to a more stable place, like it was new, but it was stable, and we felt responsible and ready enough to actually start engaging with other humans. Yeah. So he started seeing somebody and exploring that and the pressure and just so much melted off of both of us.

00:20:09:17 - 00:20:45:18

Freebird

It's just like, okay, so this with me and I like this part. It has never worked the way that we wished that it would. And like that's how it is. And it's okay. But like, look at this over here. Like this is amazing and wonderful. So how did I get here? Going back to your original question, I don't know, honestly, like looking back, it's been a blur and tons and tons of work internally and therapy and all this, and then just meeting some truly astonishing and amazing people throughout it.

00:20:45:18 - 00:20:50:13

Freebird

So I met my other partner in January of this year.

00:20:50:15 - 00:20:56:22

Luna

It sounds like you and your husband are able to have tough conversations.

00:20:57:00 - 00:20:57:08

Freebird

Yeah.

00:20:57:13 - 00:21:17:04

Luna

How long did it take for that to start, especially specifically about your sex life? When did those start happening? And many people I hear from don't have the words how it sounds like maybe it evolved a lot over the years, but it sounds like also you continued to have them. So I would love to hear what words or who brought it up, or how or anything you can share that.

00:21:17:06 - 00:21:39:15

Freebird

It was definitely I brought it up for sure. I'm the one that initiated the conversation about opening the marriage in 2018 was when that happened, and kind of the activator. With that, I was just minding my business in a general state of unhappiness, as was my norm for quite some time, our.

00:21:39:15 - 00:21:47:08

Luna

Norm right now in the world, because most of us are living in societies that are not built for human bodies to function properly.

00:21:47:10 - 00:22:16:06

Freebird

Yes. So I remember at one point, someone approached me out of nowhere while I was commuting, like they had seen me every day on the bus. And he goes, can I tell you that you are gorgeous? And I looked at him and the first thought I had was, oh my God, can you see me? And just my mind kind of exploded because I realized how invisible I had felt and how little space I had occupied in the world for so long.

00:22:16:06 - 00:22:37:14

Freebird

Like, that was a pivotal, personal moment for me. It was just like this is fucked up and I don't want to live like this anymore. Enter in like a new journey to figuring out how I can live in my body and all that entails. So that meant definitely going to therapy and unpacking a lot of my own stuff.

00:22:37:14 - 00:23:10:21

Freebird

But also just like learning to love this body too. It was a huge piece of it. So I will take myself out on dates. I will, you know, have full and elaborate masturbation sessions. I will get dressed up all like groom and have this nice time. I'll get a drink for myself and just like come into my space and I'll dance and just inhabit my own body and just move in a way that is just for me.

00:23:10:23 - 00:23:26:16

Freebird

And then I will feel really good and sexy, and then I'll masturbate in front of the mirror and it's just like, I cannot harness that power better than when I do that. And then it just kind of radiates out. And I know that's anyway.

00:23:26:19 - 00:23:28:07

Luna

That's hot as fuck.

00:23:28:09 - 00:23:30:05

Freebird

And I went off on a tangent there.

00:23:30:09 - 00:23:43:09

Luna

Well, but that's a very important, I think, tangent because how can we have a sex life with anyone else if we don't have a relationship with our own body that is friendly and loving?

00:23:43:11 - 00:24:06:21

Freebird

Yeah. So as that journey personally unfolded, I would bring in my husband to and just, you know, have those hard conversations like, hey, this you know, this isn't working well, but like, let's have these tough conversations, like, what do you think about this? How would you feel about that? I mean, it was thousands of hours of talking, but yeah.

00:24:06:23 - 00:24:29:09

Luna

Before 2018 when you had that magical moment on the bus with what was surely an angel sex angel, were you engaged in your own sexuality or when it was off, was it just about being broken? Like, was there porn? Was there pleasure? Was there lingerie erotic? Anything? Like what was your relationship to sex generally feeling like.

00:24:29:11 - 00:24:49:16

Freebird

There were attempts at all of those things. There were sincere and real attempts to spark something, but the problem with it was that the motivation behind it was to try and fulfill what I thought I should be sexually, then asking myself what I actually was and what I wanted.

00:24:49:19 - 00:24:52:05

Luna

Oh, it could relate to all of that.

00:24:52:07 - 00:25:00:14

Freebird

Yeah, it was looking outside of me to try and find a solution, I guess, or to try and fix this connection.

00:25:00:16 - 00:25:09:13

Luna

I feel like I'm always looking everywhere to look for myself. I'm like a shoe over there. Julia. She over there. She over there? Yeah. If I grab that one, will I be mean like before?

00:25:09:15 - 00:25:10:10

Freebird

Yes.

00:25:10:12 - 00:25:28:00

Luna

That. Lastly, I just want to hear if there's anything from the last five years when you were like, oh, I do want to change something. I want to have a relationship with my body. Are there any tangible, practical things you did? It sounds like going on dates, but is there anything else that you feel like other listeners might benefit from hearing about?

00:25:28:01 - 00:25:50:16

Freebird

Yes. One thing that I did that was really hard was just standing in front of a mirror and thinking about all the things that I love about my body and doing that naked. That was important. But just like calmly, like taking in all the things that were great, even just for five minutes, which I found to be difficult.

00:25:50:18 - 00:25:55:10

Freebird

But then it's just like building on top of that. I found that to be helpful.

00:25:55:12 - 00:26:13:04

Luna

That's beautiful. Thank you. Okay, so when did it start to feel like, oh my gosh, maybe the work I've been doing, maybe this is going to work. We made it through a pandemic. Maybe there will be sex. Like what was that transition like? And then like what came first in this new era?

00:26:13:06 - 00:26:34:22

Freebird

Well, my husband met a partner first and started doing that. And so that was a great transition. And then once we tried like, okay, so like, yeah, this is working. This is okay. We keep touching base and having those conversations and checking in regularly. Then I got to a point where I was brave enough to go on that I put myself out there.

00:26:34:22 - 00:26:35:06

Luna

It's a big.

00:26:35:06 - 00:26:50:19

Freebird

Deal. And it was a big deal actually. And yeah, I went on one date with somebody and that I was too nervous. I had too much to drink. And then we made out in his car and I gave him my hand job, and I was like, and then I just never saw him again. Seal the. Yeah. Broke the seal.

00:26:50:19 - 00:27:12:13

Freebird

That's that's right. That worked out perfectly. And then I matched with the person I'm now in a committed relationship with. And we went out on a date and it was funny because that same day I had met my husband's partner. So my metamorph and then went on a date with this other person so that I was completely overwhelmed emotionally.

00:27:12:13 - 00:27:13:20

Freebird

Like, that was such a.

00:27:13:22 - 00:27:17:18

Luna

Big poly day. The big new poly day especially.

00:27:17:20 - 00:27:37:08

Freebird

Yeah, it really was. And at the end of the day, I was like, oh man, I like this person a lot. Like, I really do. I like this person a lot, but I think my head is going to explode if I try to do anything with him. So I gave him this really awkward hug in the parking lot and like, I wouldn't let go.

00:27:37:10 - 00:27:55:05

Freebird

And then I let go and just ran away and screamed in my car. Just, you know, it's so funny. And since it's long distance, like 95% of our relationship is actually over text and phone calls. Okay. But our second date, the whole plan was just to make out in the car because I had done the awkward hug and run away.

00:27:55:05 - 00:28:12:17

Freebird

He's like, I really wanted to kiss you. And I was like, I couldn't, I couldn't do that. And so he picked me up and we went out to like a trailhead somewhere. It was winter and there was snow on the ground, and he knew that I was Carl. Nice had the pillows and everything all set out, and we were making out.

00:28:12:17 - 00:28:36:03

Freebird

And he has had many more partners, much more experience than me. But he fingered me and I swear, like a chasm opened up in my mind. And I fell into it. Like, this is amazing. This is the best thing ever. There were people around and I could not be quiet. It was. Yeah, wait, like.

00:28:36:09 - 00:28:37:13

Luna

Where were they?

00:28:37:15 - 00:28:45:04

Freebird

Like, they were going hiking. They were like parking their car and going hiking in. The hatch was open and I couldn't not.

00:28:45:09 - 00:28:47:17

Luna

That's awesome.

00:28:47:18 - 00:28:48:15

Freebird

It was very hot.

00:28:48:15 - 00:28:55:12

Luna

Okay. What else have you discovered about yourself? Tell us. Turn ons. Turn out. Tell us about your body. What does she love?

00:28:55:14 - 00:29:16:22

Freebird

She does four different types of orgasms. There's the squeeze, which is just kind of nice and relaxing. There's kind of like a rolling one, which can go on for quite a long time, which is lovely. There's like an exploding one. Like that was new for me with my other partner, where he's I love getting fingered.

00:29:17:00 - 00:29:23:00

Luna

It's say more what you love about it. How do you like it? How many fingers? How rough is that where the roughness starts?

00:29:23:00 - 00:29:34:14

Freebird

I think it's two. It's where it starts sometimes. And honestly, like, can you show me how you do this? Like, can we figure this out? I want to learn your magic ways. We haven't done that yet. But because I can't pay.

00:29:34:14 - 00:29:43:02

Luna

Attention, right. You can't pay. That's the thing. It's hard to pay attention. And then for me, seeing myself is so much harder than figuring another person I don't know. Yeah.

00:29:43:04 - 00:29:51:22

Freebird

I did get one of those, like, curved glass dildos to try to try and do that, but it's not the same. It's just that. Yeah.

00:29:52:00 - 00:29:55:00

Luna

So you love getting fingered. Yeah. You're four orgasms.

00:29:55:02 - 00:30:21:20

Freebird

And then there's like an explode one where it's really intense peak and then like, please don't touch me at all anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the most intense one is usually I do it myself with a vibrator. It's long and it's just like, go full like, contract and squeeze. And my body is just so happy, and I usually I'm a squirter.

00:30:21:20 - 00:30:24:10

Freebird

I usually squirt when I do that.

00:30:24:12 - 00:30:29:01

Luna

Do you squirt without anything inside of you or does it have to get triggered?

00:30:29:03 - 00:30:29:13

Freebird

Oh yeah.

00:30:29:13 - 00:30:32:17

Luna

Cool. Do you put down towels or anything or do you just like.

00:30:32:18 - 00:30:44:23

Freebird

I do, but I, I miss them a lot of times. But yeah, I do have and that I didn't know I could do that until like within the last year and I do it myself.

00:30:45:01 - 00:30:49:21

Luna

Did you discover one day during a masturbation and is it like, oh, or is it like fluid?

00:30:49:21 - 00:30:52:16

Freebird

Yeah. Really love. Yeah.

00:30:52:18 - 00:30:57:06

Luna

I think you're the first person I've talked to who's like, yes, it goes wow.

00:30:57:06 - 00:31:00:07

Freebird

Oh, it's shocking. Have you ever videoed.

00:31:00:07 - 00:31:04:05

Luna

It in slo mo? That's a weird question.

00:31:04:06 - 00:31:07:09

Freebird

No I haven't, I could, but no I have not done that.

00:31:07:15 - 00:31:12:06

Luna

Whoa. Okay. Does it always come with an orgasm.

00:31:12:08 - 00:31:24:05

Freebird

Wow. It always. Well actually I used to think that it would be at the end, but it's not always at the end of like when I don't want to be touched anymore because you get to that point right where it's like okay we are done now.

00:31:24:10 - 00:31:37:20

Luna

I do if it's a high peak orgasm or an explosion orgasm easier terminology. Wait, what's the name for the last one of the vibrator? Is that just a squirt orgasm or does it have a different like shape? You said it's really big, like it's everything or something.

00:31:37:22 - 00:31:51:02

Freebird

Like, I don't have a good name for it, but it does. It feels more whole body like on it. The explosion one feels really kind of centralized too, but it's definitely more whole body roll. Yeah.

00:31:51:04 - 00:31:57:10

Luna

Are you a person who enjoys their asshole getting touched at all? Yeah. Do you have as chasms?

00:31:57:13 - 00:32:09:22

Freebird

I don't know if I have as chasms, but I do enjoy it. I like anal and I like fingers, especially when I've had to prepare, because otherwise I'm just a little tense and like, I don't know what's going to happen.

00:32:10:04 - 00:32:27:10

Luna

Yes, absolutely. Well, I have been reading Nina Hartley's Total Guide to Sex and referring to certain sections, and I just am obsessed with her first little tip of like, you don't need a full enema. Most of the time you could just fill a lube gun with some water and like, just rinse because it's like skin. It's just the inside of a tube.

00:32:27:12 - 00:32:46:22

Luna

And so that's usually enough unless you're doing some like crazy, crazy stuff. Enemas can actually the store ones can be hydrate you. Like there's some downsides of doing a full enema. And sometimes they can apparently backfire and cause more stuff. So I'm not a big in. I'm a doer. I'm sort of just a risk taker of like, I do my best to make sure, but I didn't.

00:32:46:22 - 00:32:55:12

Luna

I wish I had the like lube gun tricks soon and I like try to time it with coffee and whatever. So I just want to share that tip because I want to go to the sex shop.

00:32:55:12 - 00:32:58:06

Freebird

That's a good tip. Yeah, yeah, I appreciate that.

00:32:58:08 - 00:33:03:09

Luna

So are you new to anal sex or is it something that you did Dublin before?

00:33:03:11 - 00:33:14:20

Freebird

Yeah, we dabbled in that before. So I'm not completely new, but I wouldn't say it's frequent. I have a butt plug that I like to wear. Sometimes I do it even just when I'm by myself. Yeah, I'm just because I enjoy it.

00:33:14:22 - 00:33:18:16

Luna

Do you ever wear it while you're getting fucked? So good.

00:33:18:18 - 00:33:19:17

Freebird

It's so good.

00:33:19:19 - 00:33:21:18

Luna

Is it like a metal or a glass or a.

00:33:21:20 - 00:33:51:10

Freebird

Yeah. It's a stainless steel. And I got it because it was purple and it's probably. Yeah. So I've got a story there. I love purple and it was one of the ones with the jewel on it. But it was a little large and I was like that'll be fine. But one time I inserted it a little too quickly and I don't remember the medical term for it, but it like triggered that nerf and I was like, oh, like, my hearing went weird and my sight went weird.

00:33:51:10 - 00:34:15:18

Freebird

Like things were blurry. I started immediately sweating and not sexy anymore. Like all gone now. And I went back into the bedroom and my partner looked at me and he was like, okay, you're going to sit down like, are you all right? Oh, oh my gosh, not that time. But just be careful. Don't be in a hurry. Don't don't be in a hurry.

00:34:15:20 - 00:34:16:12

Freebird

It's okay.

00:34:16:12 - 00:34:24:21

Luna

So much of butt stuff is just mental relaxation, too. It's like, Holy cow. So do you like playing with other people's buttholes?

00:34:24:23 - 00:34:40:01

Freebird

I do sometimes I'm timid about it, but I'll do it. Especially if they tell me that they like it. And honestly, that's only been one person, but they express that they do like it. So I try, but I yeah, I feel like I and that's the.

00:34:40:01 - 00:34:55:12

Luna

Best way to and it's no, I didn't, I didn't have any boldness until I met a partner who was like actually into it. And then I had to like gain trust with myself and them. And then I was like, oh, okay. And now I'm like, can I do anything? I always warn people. I'm like, I'm going to play with the skin near your butt.

00:34:55:12 - 00:35:10:10

Luna

It's a turn on. I was like, I will not go near any holes or inside any holes unless we have a specific conversation, you know, like that's the frames, like the people who are less experienced. Okay. Is it something you're interested in or is it like you do it for their pleasure or like we'll see. Maybe it's unfolds.

00:35:10:15 - 00:35:12:18

Freebird

Both, but yeah, I'm interested in it.

00:35:12:23 - 00:35:25:12

Luna

Cool. What else are you interested in? What else have you learned about your kinky self and specifically maybe start with was there anything that like you had wanted but never explored? Like did you have any of those textures?

00:35:25:14 - 00:35:49:06

Freebird

So my other partner identifies as dominant. And so getting into that, we explore that space and it's very fun. And I keep learning more things like oh yeah, impact. And oh yes, I do like being restrained. So one thing that's been important is that I don't tie all of that association to one person. So I've been actually conscious and active in getting involved in a local community.

00:35:49:12 - 00:35:53:20

Freebird

And actually last weekend I went kinky camping.

00:35:53:22 - 00:35:55:19

Luna

That's amazing.

00:35:55:21 - 00:36:23:17

Freebird

There were all these workshops. They did all these. So it was really well done. They did a great job that they talked about all these different things that seemed so scary. And now I'm like, okay, well, maybe I would be interested in trying that out. So I know I said impact and restraint a bunch. I love being bitten, I love I like nipple play and nipple clamps and like, we're pretty tough down here, so I do I like pretty strong sensations that way.

00:36:23:19 - 00:36:36:05

Freebird

My partner and I, since we've been together for a while, we've established some trust. We've had a lot of conversations and we've started exploring CMC a little bit. And I very much I'm a fan of that.

00:36:36:07 - 00:36:42:07

Luna

Do you like the actual struggle version? Like what is the flavor of yours? Just overviews, not scary specifics.

00:36:42:09 - 00:36:58:10

Freebird

Yeah, mostly just the struggles. I'm five tangible, larger person and so I like being matched in terms of strength. Yeah. And just being able to like really push back on somebody and like be subdued is something that I like.

00:36:58:16 - 00:37:20:18

Luna

That's super. That's amazing. Also, I just love I never know how tall people are. So whenever someone is taller or shorter than me, I'm always like, whoa, if they're my height, they're like, oh, that's my height. Like literally every single time someone says hotel they are, I'm like, wow, I never would have known. What specific types of impact do you enjoy?

00:37:20:18 - 00:37:27:19

Luna

Is it hands? What implements do you love? And same question for getting tied down. Like is it more cuffs or ropes or do care?

00:37:27:21 - 00:37:54:12

Freebird

I like hands, I like hands a lot. I even like getting hit in the face actually like that quite a bit. Me to combine that with dirty talk and other things. And it is chef's kiss. I like steamy kind of impact. So you know like with the things and flogging, I like that very much. I haven't had a lot of experience with more study things yet, but that's something I'm curious about and will explore for restraints.

00:37:54:12 - 00:38:00:17

Freebird

Like, my preferred way to be restrained is with my arms over my head. If that's an option. I do like that.

00:38:00:22 - 00:38:03:03

Luna

Standing like or laying or either.

00:38:03:06 - 00:38:18:13

Freebird

Standing is good. Leggings ideal, but being tied to a chair is very fun. But also, I like it when somebody just lays on top of me, like even if it's not sexual. I kind of that squashed feeling. Me too. I like that a lot.

00:38:18:15 - 00:38:25:12

Luna

Nice. Tell us specifics about oral sex giving or receiving. What do you love?

00:38:25:14 - 00:38:52:12

Freebird

I prefer giving it so my other partner, he knows himself very well. He's very good at giving me like constant feedback and praise than when I do the thing that he likes, I love. So I can do that for quite a while. I very much enjoy pleasing him. I like and I'm working on deep threading of it. There's still plenty of gagging, which is totally fine, but I'm just doing that more because I actually do like this fucking a bit.

00:38:52:14 - 00:38:57:18

Freebird

Unless it's like between him and a wall. I don't like that he tried that, I did. What do.

00:38:57:18 - 00:39:00:00

Luna

You mean? Like you're up against the wall?

00:39:00:02 - 00:39:05:17

Freebird

Yeah, but if he's, like, holding my face, then that's good. Does that make sense?

00:39:05:18 - 00:39:13:06

Luna

So, like, if this is the wall, are you on your knees? Yeah. I'm facing. Okay.

00:39:13:08 - 00:39:17:20

Freebird

I'm putting him with my head against the wall. Okay. And like, that's too confined.

00:39:17:23 - 00:39:21:01

Luna

Yeah. Also seems like it could be a hard angle.

00:39:21:03 - 00:39:44:17

Freebird

Yeah. But that's giving with men I haven't yet given with a woman. Okay. So that's something I'm interested in trying. And then for receiving I don't tend to like it that much. It's okay. It's lower on my interest list, but I find it more relief thing than I like most of the time.

00:39:44:18 - 00:39:51:07

Luna

Do you enjoy receiving partnered oral stimulation on other parts of your body? Like would you rather have a mouth on your nipples or neck?

00:39:51:07 - 00:40:02:13

Freebird

Girl pleasantly okay, definitely on my nipples and I like hands on my neck. I like hands over my mouth. And if we can do all of those things at the same time like that's great.

00:40:02:16 - 00:40:12:08

Luna

That's great. Yeah I love it. Oh I meant to ask about your nipples. Do they contribute to orgasm or. They've just very. Okay. They do. That's awesome.

00:40:12:08 - 00:40:17:17

Freebird

Yeah they definitely do. I've come just off of nipples before.

00:40:17:18 - 00:40:21:16

Luna

When would you say you feel the most in touch with your body?

00:40:21:18 - 00:40:45:10

Freebird

Definitely. When I've been investing in that time by myself. When I make time to do that, that's when I feel the most in touch with my body. When I'm with a partner and the focus is on me and I am just receiving, I tend to drop into that space pretty quickly and just that's when I'm most in touch with my body.

00:40:45:10 - 00:41:09:17

Freebird

When I'm in some form of some space, it can feel pretty floaty and kind of outside of my body. But a lot of times it's just like the thing I like so much about impact and Bdsm and all of these things is the forced grounding that it gives me. It really. I can't be in my head, I have to be in my body and that is what I like about it the most.

00:41:09:19 - 00:41:18:18

Luna

I so relate to that. I cannot be any more present. And when I mix that like super presence with pleasure.

00:41:18:20 - 00:41:21:19

Freebird

Yeah, yes. It's awesome.

00:41:21:21 - 00:41:27:22

Luna

When do you feel most desired and or appreciated sexually?

00:41:28:00 - 00:41:33:20

Freebird

But mostly just praise and attention. When someone has focus their attention and energy on me, I can see it.

00:41:34:00 - 00:41:37:02

Luna

Yeah. What are some of your turn off.

00:41:37:04 - 00:41:59:01

Freebird

When someone is really down on themselves, when they're really harsh and feel that they don't deserve the pleasure they're about to receive, it puts me into more of a maternal state then like a let's play kind of a state. It's not bad. It's just not sexy for me.

00:41:59:03 - 00:42:35:15

Luna

I totally get that. I think one of the things I am being curious about in my own life right now is, oh, I have all of this like sexual knowledge and ability to, like, offer care for people. How do I make a personal connection without caretaking? You know, especially when we are inevitably at very different places sexually 98% of the time, is that something where you just make sure that like time wise, you kind of like separate the nurturing need to hear your feelings moments from like the sexy times or is it something you just feel into like is it partner dependent?

00:42:35:15 - 00:42:39:11

Luna

How do you kind of like balance those feelings?

00:42:39:13 - 00:43:01:12

Freebird

That speaks to the sexual attraction for me, like I said earlier, if someone is really self-aware and knows how to communicate well, like I'm very drawn to that. If somebody isn't and we don't already have a pre-established relationship and we don't have that trust and intimacy that we've developed together, then it's just like, okay, I don't want to carry this for you.

00:43:01:14 - 00:43:10:01

Freebird

I don't want to be responsible for that and like, bring you in on this journey. Like, if you're not already here, next to me is like, okay, well, you seem very nice.

00:43:10:05 - 00:43:12:11

Luna

Totally. I wish you well.

00:43:12:13 - 00:43:18:02

Freebird

Yeah. If it's a partner that I'm already involved with, like, that's just like you can ebb and flow out of the States.

00:43:18:04 - 00:43:31:19

Luna

Speaking of ebb and flow, how is it for you having this long distance relationship and maybe talk a little bit about sexting or how you kind of like, balance it and maybe transitions into the sexy parts or just whatever comes up for you around your long distance relationship.

00:43:31:21 - 00:43:55:04

Freebird

We'll sext fairly regularly, and sometimes we'll do video calls, which is very, very fun. It actually started we were sexting back and forth and he goes, hey, do you want to see me? Cam? And I was like, hey, yeah. And he video called me and there was no talking. And he just finished and I just watched and it was super hot.

00:43:55:04 - 00:44:18:10

Freebird

It was really, really hot. And then he hung up and that was it. And so from there, I'll do it too sometimes where I'll be masturbating and he'll watch and he'll talk me through and it's very fun. So we do that and it's just like, I believe that type of foreplay, like whenever you're not physically engaged, like you can be having foreplay all of that time.

00:44:18:10 - 00:44:25:10

Freebird

Like, he and I can have foreplay for weeks and then see each other and it's like, ready now? Like, yeah, let's go Italy.

00:44:25:12 - 00:44:40:05

Luna

Do you have any, like, personal rituals you do before you meet up? It sounds like you have really cool self-care for me. I would always like take a bath and do this transition. And it was like part of that physical transition for myself that would get me ready to be in this sexy space. Which is also why I don't like last minute dates.

00:44:40:06 - 00:44:44:17

Luna

I'm like, hey, are you free now? Can I come over? Fuck yeah. Do you have anything like that?

00:44:44:19 - 00:45:08:21

Freebird

Yeah, that's a great question. Usually there's a good amount of time that it takes for me to physically get to wherever we're going, whether I'm driving or something like that. Usually I'm driving somewhere that time. It's super important for me to transition to being that space, because I am bridging and going from one world to another world. And while those worlds, they're starting to kind of become a bit more enmeshed, they're not as divided.

00:45:08:21 - 00:45:29:06

Freebird

But I do need that time to transition mentally to getting ready to be there with him and be present and back out again to at the end of it. Right. There needs to be another set clear time, because usually when we're together, we are having sex like the entire time. Like that's pretty much what we do.

00:45:29:10 - 00:45:36:13

Luna

It's my ideal relationship. I don't see you too often, but when I do or just fucking and then we talk like humans in between. Great.

00:45:36:15 - 00:45:48:18

Freebird

Yeah, exactly. But. So there does need to be a transition at the end where it will, you know, go for a walk or go grab a meal or something, and it helps transition back.

00:45:48:20 - 00:45:56:16

Luna

Amazing. Do you have anything else to say about porn or sharing nudes? It sounds like you do. Some of the sexting do share nudes of yourself.

00:45:56:18 - 00:46:06:13

Freebird

Yeah, I'll share needs of myself with someone that I'm well-acquainted with. Yeah, I'll do that. It took a while and first I would keep them all to myself.

00:46:06:15 - 00:46:08:21

Luna

Oh, but I love that you had some for yourself.

00:46:08:23 - 00:46:14:03

Freebird

Yeah, I would love to do, like, a boudoir shoot, but they're so expensive. But yeah.

00:46:14:05 - 00:46:31:19

Luna

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that's one of my grand dreams to work on making stuff like that accessible for all. And when I get a fleet of mobile dungeons, there's going to be boudoir shoots available everywhere. What about personal porn and or porn that's produced by others that you may or may not consume? Like? Does that turn you on at all?

00:46:31:19 - 00:46:54:20

Freebird

Watching visuals visuals doesn't get me so much. I like audio erotica. That's more of my speed. I'll watch porn if a partner wants to do that together. I've tried it and it's fine. It's not a problem, but it's just it's not something that I gravitate towards. Recently, there was one homemade one of me giving him a blowjob, and like when he showed it to me, I was like, that's weird, I don't know about that.

00:46:54:20 - 00:47:00:10

Freebird

And then later I was thinking of and sometimes it's delayed for me. But several days later I was like, actually, that was kind of hot.

00:47:00:10 - 00:47:07:04

Luna

Yeah, that was the same for me with my first Domme. It was like, oh, I don't know. And then I was like, no, I want to watch it again and again and again.

00:47:07:04 - 00:47:10:17

Freebird

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:47:10:17 - 00:47:20:19

Luna

What about group sex? Sex parties? Sex clubs? Is any of that on your head? It sounds like you are going to play events.

00:47:20:21 - 00:47:38:17

Freebird

Yeah, the play events are fun and I'm finding some community there, so some needs are being met with that group. Sex is not something I've experienced yet, but it's definitely we're going to make that happen for sure. That is on the horizon.

00:47:38:18 - 00:47:46:12

Luna

Amazing. How are you finding this community? Is it through FET life? Is it something else like what's the method that's working for you?

00:47:46:14 - 00:48:06:10

Freebird

But actually I matched with someone on one of the apps and I reached out and said, hey, are you interested? He said it was a rope dominants. Are you interested in like, do you need people to try or practice with? Because I'd be open to that is he said, well, are you involved in the community at all? And I thought to myself, you know.

00:48:06:12 - 00:48:28:04

Freebird

Yeah. And so I started doing and looking into that and I found one that really seems to align with my personal values. And I went to one party and that was like I said, that was a very positive experience within that organization. I went to the kinky camping event that was also very positive. I've got another one on Saturday that I'm going to go to, so it's just meeting the people.

00:48:28:04 - 00:48:42:02

Freebird

I'm going to start volunteering with them as well because I'm just really looking for a community that's that's positive and open and welcoming and just shameless because they're awesome. They're awesome band that's amazing.

00:48:42:02 - 00:48:58:01

Luna

Yeah. I also love the idea of kinky camping, because it sounds like not everything could happen in the middle of the fucking night. Like maybe you have to do some daytime activities. That's the hardest thing about a lot of the community here in LA is it starts at 10 p.m., which means midnight or 1 a.m., which is my sleeping hours.

00:48:58:03 - 00:49:03:15

Freebird

Yeah, it was all weekend. Lots of kink happening all the time is great.

00:49:03:17 - 00:49:10:13

Luna

Could you speak to the balance between family and dating and yourself.

00:49:10:15 - 00:49:12:16

Freebird

Spending like spending plates? For sure.

00:49:12:19 - 00:49:23:00

Luna

I was like, because I'm just thinking about me trying to keep track of one person and a cat and some plants, and I'm like hearing your stories and you also seem so calm. And I'm like, oh.

00:49:23:02 - 00:49:56:09

Freebird

Oh, that's nice. Yeah. It cannot be denied that none of this balance would be happening without my husband. Like I there is no way I could experience these things without his full awareness and support of what I'm doing, and it is reciprocated for him too. So he has his own path that he's doing so for family. We have dedicated family time that is structured around this place and us individually, so we have that set in place.

00:49:56:11 - 00:50:19:15

Freebird

He and I are extremely good parenting partners, so we have lots of ongoing conversations and it's so much talking that's makes it just it has to be. And when we first started, it seemed like that balance slid too far in one direction. And I was hearing from our kids like, you know, I miss you. Can we do this thing together?

00:50:19:15 - 00:50:36:05

Freebird

And so I said, okay, it's like I need to be more deliberate and conscious and like, remember what is here. But at the same time, like, I don't have to sacrifice all of me to provide this thing that I thought I had to be in order to be a good mother. Like that's been another whole journey on its own.

00:50:36:05 - 00:50:55:19

Freebird

So we partner together and communicate like what each of us needs, and then also make sure that there is plenty of stability for our children. And then when it comes to balancing, like dating, I just have to be really clear with anybody who's interested. Like time is limited, like my time is precious. Like this is what I can offer.

00:50:55:19 - 00:51:04:16

Freebird

And if that sounds good to you, like we can explore. But if you need more, like we can't go forward. Does that answer your question? Yeah.

00:51:04:16 - 00:51:12:04

Luna

Thank you so much for sharing that. And also just thank you for taking time out of your super busy schedule to be here with your wisdom.

00:51:12:06 - 00:51:35:23

Freebird

I appreciate the opportunity because during so much of that middle part, I felt so isolated and I really felt like I was the only one experiencing these feelings or feeling this way, and I doubt that I am, but it's hard to know. So I just wanted. That was a huge reason for me. Wanting to be here is just to put out there that my story, in case it impacts somebody else.

00:51:36:01 - 00:51:43:03

Luna

It undoubtedly will. It undoubtedly will. What are your hopes for your sexual self going forward?

00:51:43:05 - 00:52:04:12

Freebird

I hope that it continues to be adventurous and that I can continue to explore both myself, from my own place in this world, as well as get to know other awesome humans and share beautiful experiences with them. Yes.

00:52:04:14 - 00:52:12:13

Luna

And if you could go back in time and give younger you a piece of sex advice, what age or ages would you pick and what would you say?

00:52:12:15 - 00:52:31:02

Freebird

I would go back to like just like pubescent me and really have those conversations about consent and what to expect and what I should expect for myself as I move through the world. Just to set that tone in context at that age, I think, is what I would do.

00:52:31:04 - 00:52:38:12

Luna

Fuck yeah. Freebird. Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful stories, especially with all of the limited time that you have.

00:52:38:13 - 00:52:42:06

Freebird

Thank you so much for all the work that you do and for having me. I appreciate it.

00:52:42:07 - 00:52:45:18

Luna

My pleasure. Do you have a sex question for me?

00:52:45:20 - 00:52:53:16

Freebird

Yes. My question for you is what do you think we should do to help make the world a sexier place?