29 gender-indifferent solo-poly bisexual dominant-leaning switch.

Jenna’s Update from December 2023 | Rope for All Bodies

🔗 JENNA LINKS |  instagram / fetlife

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00:00:00:05 - 00:00:24:03

Luna

Our guest today is a 29 year old gender indifferent bisexual, a solo poly person, trained Catholic, converted Jew and currently sex spiritual who uses she her or they them pronouns. A dominant leaning switch. They are currently in a DSS relationship on the east side of the, and they also have a long term friend with benefits. She is also currently a couple dress and is training a submissive online.

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Luna

There are very few kinks that they don't like, but their favorites are heavy impact, play rope or as I say, decry Ophelia because making people cry, exhibitionism, sensory play and religion. A sex kink education enthusiast and an artist writer who lives in central Ohio. Welcome, Jenna.

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Jenna

Hi. Hi.

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Luna

Start out by telling our sweet listeners if you had to rate yourself on a sexual shame meter today with ten being super full of shame and one big not so shame you at all, where do you fall now?

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Jenna

How far into the negatives? I don't like negative.

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Luna

What do you want? Okay. Negative.

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Jenna

Infinity to infinity.

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Luna

Amazing. Can you say a few words about war? Like, how does that feel in your body? Or like, you're just not sure? I mean, that's great.

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Jenna

So it's been interesting because it's not really something I've ever been ashamed of. But I, over the years, have felt some shame because I don't feel ashamed.

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Jenna

Yeah.

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Jenna

So there's been a lot of that. You know, I'm always willing to talk about it and always willing to share. And I love sharing my knowledge and experience with other people. So why would I be ashamed of that?

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Luna

Totally. I mean, it's very interesting. It's a very specific type of shame to be ashamed about not feeling shame, and I can relate to that, although I think I just like war. It and shame about everything for a while. Can you tell us a little overview of what your sex life is like right now and your favorite parts?

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Jenna

Oh my gosh, right now. So I'm really active in the swinging community in my town. And partially that's because one of the only venues that we have for events is a swingers club. So I just happened to accidentally get involved in the swinging community because I was going to events there. But I have an amazing dominant who is generally just down to explore pretty much whatever with me.

00:02:11:09 - 00:02:36:03

Jenna

And we have amazing sex all the time. And he also is in an open relationship, and I have gotten to have sex with his girlfriend quite a few times, and she is kind of on the switch east side with me. So we get to play with some dynamics there that are really cool. You know, I've kind of started getting a little more into being a little more open with everyone.

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Jenna

So my sex life has always been something that I've kind of kept from my family, but I'm slowly kind of working my way, you know, posting things on my socials and stuff like that. So I'm kind of easing them into, hey, this is who I am, okay?

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Luna

In like a swinger specific way or more like kinky or is it all one for you?

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Jenna

Just all.

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Jenna

One.

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Jenna

It's all kind of all in for me. So amazing.

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Jenna

I think the big one was when I started posting rope suspensions on my Instagram. That was the one that warranted a phone call from my mom to ask me why I was posting that on the internet.

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Jenna

Okay.

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Luna

Can you tell us what is sexy to you?

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Jenna

It's more of a feeling than anything else. Like, I don't know if I have specific words for it, but a lot of it is when I'm seeing someone like, be passionate about something or.

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Jenna

Just.

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Jenna

Be excited about something, or be confident, or it's like this feeling I get on the inside that's just kind of warm and bubbly and it's just like, oh, that's hot. Like that's sexy. I'm into that. And there's never really one specific thing that triggers it. So it's just very much like in this moment, this is sexy.

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Luna

Totally. Fuck yeah, I love that. Similarly, what counts as sex for you?

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Jenna

Everything about. If it has sexy intent and sex for me.

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Luna

Even if it like is sexy intent that doesn't click.

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Jenna

Does that.

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Luna

Still count? Or is that just like like, have you had any awkward triumphs?

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Jenna

I'd say it still counts.

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Jenna

Because you're still trying.

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Jenna

Yeah. Yeah, I love that.

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Luna

I love that playful attitude toward it as well because it's like, that is sexy. Like all of it. Yes, I love that.

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Jenna

There's a couple that I regularly play with, like we have the most fun together. Like we were just together this past weekend and the male partner and I, like we did not have penetrative sex the entire time, but I still considered it having sex because we were all giggling and rolling around naked and, you know, having all that fun touching and all of those things that like that still sex.

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Luna

I love it. Yes, it's sex and like, yeah, a threesome is not not a threesome because every hole didn't get penetrated, you know.

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Jenna

Like.

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Luna

Okay, did you ever get an explicit health and safety talk or lesson from a trusted adult growing up, or a lesson on consent?

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Jenna

I did not, never an explicit one. No. You know, when I was growing up, especially in my family, there was a lot of like, you hug so-and-so because they're your family. So it was almost kind of the opposite of that. Like, you know, even if you don't want to be touched, these people are still going to touch you.

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Jenna

I knew that I wasn't supposed to be touched by strangers or anything like that, but there was never that kind of, like, explicit. You have permission to tell people no conversation.

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Jenna

Okay.

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Luna

Now, as an adult, could you give us one example? I suspect you may have more of a time where you set a very clear yes to something sexy that led to a very awesome experience.

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Jenna

I had a dominant when I was 18 and he was very, very much my senior by almost 40 years.

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Jenna

So yes.

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Jenna

He was the main person that taught me the most about content, I think. And any time we would play together, he would start out the scene by specifically telling me what he was going to do to me during the entire scene, because I was also new to kink at this point, too.

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Jenna

So he would.

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Jenna

Walk through the entire scene from start to finish, and at the end I, you know, I would be all hot and bothered and ready to go. And he would say, is that okay? Can I do those things to you? I was like, that was basically the whole scene, right there. Like, I didn't.

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Jenna

Know that, but that was a big.

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Jenna

One that was like, yes, I can say no to. And if I said no, like he would ask me, is there something specific? Is it? And then we would sit and discuss. So never led to anything negative. When I said.

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Jenna

No.

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Jenna

And then when I said yes, it was obviously generally very fun.

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Luna

So talk about a very clear concrete example of how talking about sex ahead of time is, in fact a turn on. Thank you for that.

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Jenna

Absolutely. Wow.

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Luna

Also, I'm so glad to hear that he was so careful with you at such a tender new age. Like, beautiful. So what happens? Oh, we know it's going to happen here. What happens to your shame? A meter when it's time to talk to new partners about safer sex? How do your ideal versions of those conversations go?

00:07:13:01 - 00:07:23:02

Jenna

Oh, I would say my shame meter doesn't change anymore. It used to. I used to get uncomfortable. I wouldn't necessarily say it was ashamed of anything, but it was very uncomfortable for me. Ever.

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Luna

Totally. Oh, that's a good thank you for pointing out that nuance. Maybe I should rephrase the question.

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Jenna

Yeah, so. But now I don't get uncomfortable about it at all, because boundaries are a big thing that has come up in the past 4 or 5 years for me, and setting boundaries and using them for myself and for other people. So to have that conversation is just a, hey, this is my boundary. If our boundaries don't align with each other, like we don't need to pursue this.

00:07:49:01 - 00:08:08:23

Jenna

So generally when I have the conversation, I say I lay it all out. This is what I'm into. This is what I like. I have the protection conversation, what that looks like for both of us. And I'm flexible. Like I don't have a hard and fast rule on that. Generally. But then that leads into, you know, when were you last tested?

00:08:08:23 - 00:08:29:15

Jenna

Is there anything I need to know or worry about, or anything that would affect these protection wishes that I just communicated with you? So yeah, that's been one of the best ways I've been communicating that, because I've tried so hard to get away from the clean and yeah, vice versa. And I'll generally teach partners, if they say they're clean, I'll say, hey, can we say this instead?

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Luna

What do you say? I've heard clear. What do you like to use?

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Jenna

I just generally will ask if there's anything that would affect our use of protection or protection choices.

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Luna

Okay. I try to be really, really clear with people because I also have had so many boundary crossings in general. I get worried that sometimes people may not be clear on indirect words.

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Jenna

I will usually ask follow up questions if I get a weird vibe on their response to that. So like if I say, is there anything that you know would concern me or should concern me? And they're like, well, like, what exactly concerns you? I'm like.

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Jenna

What are you trying to.

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Jenna

Say here?

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Jenna

Yeah. Oh, great.

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Jenna

So yeah, I will always ask a follow up question. If I'm not 100% confident the.

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Jenna

Response.

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Luna

Are usually the initiator of these conversations, or does it just depend.

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Jenna

Most of the time? Yeah.

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Luna

Interesting. Okay. I'm noticing trends here. Okay. So take us back to your formative sexual years. When do you first remember hearing about sex and having it enter your sphere as a thing?

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Jenna

I don't know if I have a distinct memory of hearing about sex for the first time, but I do very distinctly remember playing Doctor with one of my neighbors a lot. And a lot of it was more self-exploration than like, you know, let me touch you here or anything like that. It was another like neighbor girl who was also my age, and it was just a lot of like.

00:10:01:01 - 00:10:02:22

Jenna

Oh, this feels good.

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Jenna

I don't know if I ever really like, heard a specific this is what sex is.

00:10:08:01 - 00:10:08:16

Jenna

But I've just.

00:10:08:16 - 00:10:29:02

Jenna

Kind of taught myself over the years, which I think also kind of lends into this like fluid definition of sex that I have. I never had sex ed. I never had that quote unquote talk with my parents. Like I had a lot of guy friends. So a lot of the information I got growing up was just hearing them talk and joke about sex.

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Jenna

And it took until probably around the time I started having sex for me to be like 100%. This is what sex.

00:10:36:23 - 00:10:37:21

Jenna

Is like.

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Luna

Okay? Had you explored your own body at all at that point? Like when did you start kind of like doing more exploration than doctor.

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Jenna

So I think.

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Jenna

I would say probably middle.

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Jenna

School.

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Jenna

There was a lot of like touching myself and things like that. I wouldn't say that I properly quote unquote had an orgasm until I was in college, but I actually used to be able to make myself squirt without coming. And I did it because I didn't really know what was going on. But I knew it felt good.

00:11:09:01 - 00:11:10:10

Jenna

And then that.

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Jenna

Happened, and and so I did that a lot. And then once I got to college, I was like, oh, squirting is the thing.

00:11:16:17 - 00:11:17:18

Jenna

Wow.

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Luna

Can I ask how you make yourself squirt?

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Jenna

It takes a lot of like a G-spot and then clit stimulation, like in that order.

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Jenna

So exciting.

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Luna

So not similar to. It's like G-spot then.

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Jenna

Yeah.

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Jenna

One. Then the other.

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Jenna

Okay.

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Luna

Is it like a spooky squirt where it all comes out, or is it like a.

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Jenna

Puma or the.

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Jenna

Both? It just depends on how intense it is.

00:11:40:08 - 00:11:46:21

Luna

Oh, wow. That's amazing. Is that like a party trick you break out now or you said you used to. Do you still do it?

00:11:46:23 - 00:12:09:21

Jenna

Not on purpose most of the time. Now, I actually generally try to avoid telling people that I can do that because a lot of, especially, you know, men that I hook up with find out that I can squirt. And that's their goal of the session, is to make that happen. And like, it's not always entirely pleasure. Like I always enjoy it, but it's not always getting me there.

00:12:09:21 - 00:12:12:05

Jenna

But then once it happens. So we're done now. So.

00:12:12:09 - 00:12:17:14

Luna

Right. It's like when the focus is to make you squirt, it's a different focus from pleasure.

00:12:17:16 - 00:12:18:14

Jenna

00:12:18:14 - 00:12:22:10

Luna

So it's like cool that you checked that box but like what are we really here for.

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Jenna

Yeah. Right.

00:12:23:12 - 00:12:36:01

Luna

Okay. So you didn't get very much information and ended up with oh the shame. Somehow even in the face of Catholicism were you given abstinence training or like you were trained Catholic. So what was that like for you?

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Jenna

So yes, the one abstinence education that I received was not a specifically you should not have sex talk. It was a these are the consequences of having sex and therefore the consequences of that. It was this video that they.

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Jenna

Showed us.

00:12:52:22 - 00:13:05:12

Jenna

In middle school, and I will never, ever forget it. I have not been able to find it on the internet and I wish I could like anyone listening, just help me find this video. It was almost like Rosemary's Baby.

00:13:05:13 - 00:13:09:01

Jenna

Ask and like Total Eclipse.

00:13:09:01 - 00:13:10:05

Jenna

Of the heart playing in the.

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Jenna

Background.

00:13:11:21 - 00:13:19:05

Jenna

And there were all these situations like, this woman had sex and got pregnant with Satan's baby, and why.

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Jenna

Like.

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Jenna

Ripped the baby out.

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Jenna

Of her when it was time for her to go into labor.

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Jenna

And it.

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Jenna

Was all just this very aggressive, like it was like a poorly.

00:13:28:05 - 00:13:34:09

Jenna

Shot horror movie. So it almost made a joke out of like, wow, yeah, it was a lot.

00:13:34:11 - 00:13:36:12

Jenna

Yeah, I still get a little sweaty when I.

00:13:36:12 - 00:13:37:13

Jenna

Hear Total Eclipse of the.

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Jenna

Heart.

00:13:40:14 - 00:13:54:11

Luna

Dude, you're inspiring inside of me a desire to go collect all the sex ed videos and just watch them and just be like. And then talk to the people who made the movie. Like, what were the circumstances that led to this? Please let me know.

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Jenna

Like what you told me that one. I want to be like, what drugs did you do? Like what combination.

00:13:59:16 - 00:13:59:20

Jenna

Of.

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Jenna

Drugs caused this video to come into existence?

00:14:03:05 - 00:14:08:20

Luna

I feel like there's very conservative people funding an artist who somehow talks them into something I don't know. I feel like.

00:14:08:20 - 00:14:11:13

Jenna

That's just a very funny. Wow.

00:14:11:13 - 00:14:11:22

Luna

Okay.

00:14:11:22 - 00:14:16:15

Jenna

It was someone that just wanted to direct a movie.

00:14:16:17 - 00:14:24:07

Luna

Okay, so you got that, but it sounds like it was still okay for you to maybe touch other people. When did you start exploring with partners?

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Jenna

I think I kissed a boy for the first time in, like, the third grade. And then I kissed a girl for the first time in the sixth grade. The sixth grade was kind of when I started touching other people. So we had these, like, fire escapes in between our classrooms. And my sixth grade boyfriend and I would sneak off to the fire.

00:14:43:15 - 00:14:46:01

Jenna

Escape make out. I think he.

00:14:46:01 - 00:14:47:00

Jenna

Fingered me once.

00:14:47:00 - 00:14:47:21

Jenna

There too.

00:14:48:00 - 00:14:48:20

Jenna

So like.

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Jenna

At school.

00:14:50:13 - 00:14:55:00

Jenna

In the fire escape, because why not?

00:14:55:01 - 00:15:03:18

Luna

So you were never worried about Satan impregnating you? Were you worried about kissing other girls? Like, it's not like you necessarily didn't get homophobic messages.

00:15:03:20 - 00:15:04:12

Jenna

No, I.

00:15:04:12 - 00:15:23:05

Jenna

Never got anything that was anti or pro in kind of anything surrounding sex. So I think we never really had the homophobia and stuff because just a lot of people were out. It was such a small town that there wasn't anyone to be like, oh, we don't like gay people. Like, look at those gay people over there.

00:15:23:07 - 00:15:24:01

Jenna

Okay.

00:15:24:03 - 00:15:33:20

Luna

What were the next steps in your sexual unfolding like partners? What were the big explorations of your formative years after after the fingering on the fire escapes?

00:15:33:22 - 00:15:44:19

Jenna

It's kind of weird to think about, like, now that I'm thinking about it in this context, because, like, everything that I've had kind of normatively around sex again makes me feel like I should be ashamed.

00:15:44:21 - 00:15:45:14

Jenna

But I'm not.

00:15:45:14 - 00:16:13:21

Jenna

Because like, my next big sexual experience after that was when, like, trigger warning here was when I was assaulted my freshman year of high school by my best friend's boyfriend. So, okay, like that was my next. And it was very like in a very high school fashion. Like I told my best friend that this happened. She called me a slut for sleeping with her boyfriend, and there was a whole ordeal that like, broke up our friendship and everything because of that.

00:16:13:21 - 00:16:30:05

Jenna

So like to have the negative consequences to like my first big sexual, big sexual experience. Yeah, that's kind of weird to think about because, like, it's not something that I feel ashamed about. So, like, I'm still glad I told her, even though that relationship ended or whatever.

00:16:30:05 - 00:16:32:01

Jenna

So yeah.

00:16:32:03 - 00:16:39:03

Luna

So after that happened, did you seek help? Like what did you do to take care of yourself? It sounds like you're in a very different space.

00:16:39:05 - 00:17:11:06

Jenna

Yeah, I think I just had enough people around me. I mean, it was hard for a while like that, on top of the general teenage angst and all of that stuff. I was very depressed for a while, and Self-harmed and I had another boy that I met that knew about my self-harm, and he was kind of, this is going to sound really terrible and the way that I'm going to say it, but he kind of like introduced me to let me harm you in a good way.

00:17:11:06 - 00:17:17:05

Jenna

Instead of you harming yourself. So I had a really good introduction to kink.

00:17:17:05 - 00:17:18:01

Jenna

That way, I.

00:17:18:01 - 00:17:23:07

Jenna

Think, because I was like, oh, we have these really heavy feelings that need to come out.

00:17:23:08 - 00:17:24:06

Jenna

Yes.

00:17:24:08 - 00:17:46:19

Jenna

What is a way that we can make that happen without hurting ourselves? Because I never like when I did self-harm and things, it wasn't because I wanted to hurt myself, it was just because, you know, I wanted those feelings to come out. And I didn't like the idea of doing it or the action of doing it. So having those healthier, the means of expression of those emotions was something that was huge.

00:17:46:19 - 00:17:50:23

Jenna

And me developing coping mechanisms for all these big things I was going through.

00:17:51:02 - 00:17:51:23

Jenna

Absolutely.

00:17:52:05 - 00:17:55:15

Luna

Was that the partner that you mentioned previously that was several decades older?

00:17:55:17 - 00:17:58:05

Jenna

No, that was just a high school boyfriend. Okay.

00:17:58:06 - 00:17:59:03

Jenna

Cool.

00:17:59:03 - 00:18:03:16

Luna

Okay. So you started exploring in kinky ways in high school. Yeah.

00:18:03:18 - 00:18:04:23

Jenna

So I.

00:18:05:00 - 00:18:17:16

Jenna

By high school definition, was a huge slut in high school. And I think a lot of it was kind of attributed to that boyfriend because he was two years older than me, I think, and we met my freshman year.

00:18:17:18 - 00:18:19:00

Jenna

So he had a.

00:18:19:00 - 00:18:42:23

Jenna

Lot just different views on sex than your average high schooler did. So he was the one that kind of introduced me to open relationships and, you know, all these outside of the norm things. So he was encouraging me to sleep with other people while we were together and things like that, like we were in marching band together in the most stereotypical fashion.

00:18:43:02 - 00:18:44:21

Jenna

So yeah.

00:18:44:23 - 00:18:49:15

Luna

Yes, I went to orchestra camp, not quite as hot, but still.

00:18:49:17 - 00:18:52:04

Jenna

Same thing. We were both on the drumline together.

00:18:52:06 - 00:18:53:06

Luna

And oh that's.

00:18:53:06 - 00:18:54:20

Jenna

Great. Yes.

00:18:54:22 - 00:19:18:02

Jenna

So we would sneak off at band camping during band practices. You know, I think a lot of my exhibition tendencies were kind of nurtured during that time because we would like hook up in all these, like, risque places where we could get caught or whatever on the stage, in the auditorium and like on the band bus or any of those places.

00:19:18:02 - 00:19:18:23

Jenna

So he was.

00:19:18:23 - 00:19:30:13

Jenna

Just open to kind of exploring whatever. So like, I didn't even have a lot of internet access or anything, but it was just like, this thing's kind of cool, and I can see how that would be sexy. So let's try.

00:19:30:13 - 00:19:30:21

Jenna

It.

00:19:30:23 - 00:19:33:04

Luna

Was it your ideas or his or just a mixture?

00:19:33:09 - 00:19:36:09

Jenna

Kind of both. Okay, yeah. He ended up being a.

00:19:36:09 - 00:19:37:19

Jenna

Little a little.

00:19:37:19 - 00:19:57:00

Jenna

Abusive toward the end of it, which was why I ultimately broke things off. It's funny to think about now, because a lot of it is stuff that I'm into now, but he was pushing a lot of the boundaries that I had set that were, you know, kind of dangerous. It was a lot of like edge play stuff that now as an adult, I'm like, I understand the risks of this.

00:19:57:00 - 00:20:07:14

Jenna

But as a 15 year old, I very much did not. So it was just a boundary that I set at that time that, you know, he was like, no, I want to do this thing. So then that was when I ultimately broke things off.

00:20:07:20 - 00:20:18:22

Luna

Got it. Okay. I mean, it sounds like young you was wise and knowing what she needed or didn't need, and that's pretty fucking cool. Did you guys ever get caught in the places where you could have gotten caught.

00:20:19:00 - 00:20:24:19

Jenna

By fellow classmates a couple of times, but never by like an adult? That was going to get us in trouble?

00:20:24:22 - 00:20:31:05

Luna

Okay, what else about your formative years? Do we need to know what came next?

00:20:31:06 - 00:20:52:13

Jenna

I think a lot of my dominance actually kind of came out about at that point in time, too, just because, like while I was having all these other partners, I know for a fact I slept with over 150 people before I graduated high school. So between my senior year, a lot of them were people that, like, were in the same friend groups.

00:20:52:15 - 00:21:09:12

Jenna

And being in high school, I didn't want them all to be discussing me in the locker room. So I was very much I had conversation, so it helped a lot with my communication and asserting myself in that fashion. That was, hey, I like to do this thing with you, but if you go tell your friends about it, we're not going to do it anymore.

00:21:09:15 - 00:21:09:22

Jenna

Yeah.

00:21:09:22 - 00:21:16:23

Jenna

So I had a lot of those conversations. So that kind of I think helped develop me into me today.

00:21:16:23 - 00:21:17:21

Jenna

So okay.

00:21:17:21 - 00:21:25:16

Luna

Wow. I'm curious what size town or community you come from, because 150 in a smallish community is a percentage.

00:21:25:18 - 00:21:26:06

Jenna

Yeah.

00:21:26:08 - 00:21:29:12

Jenna

There were 400 people in my high school.

00:21:29:14 - 00:21:30:23

Luna

Total or in your class.

00:21:31:04 - 00:21:34:08

Jenna

Total. Okay. Wow.

00:21:34:10 - 00:21:37:23

Luna

Were there other schools nearby or was it just like a one high school sort of place?

00:21:38:01 - 00:21:42:13

Jenna

There were some other schools nearby, but for the most part it was it was my high school.

00:21:42:15 - 00:21:49:13

Luna

Was there a part of you that got a thrill out of it? Sounds like a lot of the people maybe respected the agreements. Was that fun for you?

00:21:49:15 - 00:21:58:01

Jenna

Yeah, I had one who did it, and he sent a picture of my boobs to the entire school, but my face was not in it, so we were bounced back from that really quickly.

00:21:58:03 - 00:21:58:17

Jenna

Okay?

00:21:58:19 - 00:22:02:09

Jenna

And now I'm like, I know it's out there. I'm not going to run for political office anyway.

00:22:02:09 - 00:22:11:22

Luna

So I'm waiting till the day where we don't actually care because it's like, hopefully the politicians have sex, otherwise they're going to make some really fucked up laws. Maybe that's part of the problem.

00:22:12:00 - 00:22:12:13

Jenna

Yeah, but.

00:22:12:13 - 00:22:15:03

Jenna

Now I'm not here. Like purposely putting nudes on the internet.

00:22:15:03 - 00:22:18:13

Luna

So yes, yes. Do you do that in a way that we should know about?

00:22:18:15 - 00:22:27:05

Jenna

I posted on that life usually nice. Yeah, I have a lot of stuff on there that's just writing and art and just whatever I kind of feel like in that moment.

00:22:27:05 - 00:22:36:02

Luna

So beautiful. So you had the kinky high school boyfriend, the guy that you met when you were 18. Was that in high school or after high school or kind of like what came next?

00:22:36:02 - 00:22:52:05

Jenna

It was the after high school. It was my freshman year of college. We actually met on life. So like you and your former master, I had discovered this website existed. And, you know, some of my friends were talking about it not. And I'm like, hey, we should go join this, but in a hey, I found out this thing exists today.

00:22:52:06 - 00:23:06:01

Jenna

So then I naturally joined it immediately. And, you know, I had the average bombardment of unsolicited dick pics and all of those things, but I had, you know, a couple messages from this guy who was super.

00:23:06:01 - 00:23:07:02

Jenna

Respectful.

00:23:07:02 - 00:23:17:15

Jenna

And wanted to meet me for food and never mentioned tank or sex or anything in the first, you know, 80 messages we sent to each other. So that was what ultimately led me to meeting him.

00:23:17:15 - 00:23:18:11

Jenna

Cool.

00:23:18:12 - 00:23:22:23

Luna

What did you discover about yourself in that relationship that you didn't already know?

00:23:23:01 - 00:23:48:21

Jenna

So that was when I explored a lot of my submissive flavors that I have, and we actually ended up negotiating. I mean, I was a freshman college student at that point. I was on a sports team. Like I was very, very busy. I was working full time, and I ended up moving into his house part time. So I would stay at my house Monday through Thursday and stay at his house Friday through Sunday.

00:23:49:03 - 00:23:52:08

Luna

That's so hot to look forward to too.

00:23:52:08 - 00:23:52:16

Jenna

It was.

00:23:52:16 - 00:23:57:15

Jenna

So great. Like working for the weekend had a whole new definition.

00:23:57:17 - 00:23:58:18

Jenna

Yeah.

00:23:58:19 - 00:24:14:19

Jenna

I he, for all intents and purposes like we were in a master slave relationship at that point in time and it was a full blown 24/7 intimate. But even when I wasn't staying there, you know, I had my tasks. I had my all of those fun things.

00:24:15:01 - 00:24:16:11

Luna

Can you tell us a few specifics?

00:24:16:15 - 00:24:28:01

Jenna

Oh my gosh. Yeah, just an average day. I would have to, like, wake up and text him as soon as I woke up. So he knew I woke up on time, and if he hadn't gotten my texts by a certain time, he would call me to wake me up.

00:24:28:03 - 00:24:31:02

Luna

And he actually would. Yeah. That's amazing.

00:24:31:04 - 00:24:43:11

Jenna

And then I had to, like, send pictures throughout the day of just like, hey, I'm ready for class. This is what I'm wearing today. He would pick out all of my lingerie that I would wear daily.

00:24:43:17 - 00:24:44:12

Jenna

All of that.

00:24:44:15 - 00:25:08:20

Jenna

I would like lay that out in advance, usually at the beginning of the week. He would do that for me, and that's something I really like to like that has carried over into my current relationship. Also, that I have a Google Drive with all of my lingerie on it. So he picks out weekly what I'm wearing. That's kind of what helped me get into my writing a lot more, I think, because three times a week I had to write something new for him, and sometimes he gave me prompts.

00:25:08:20 - 00:25:22:06

Jenna

Sometimes it was, you know, if you're feeling inspired and just write whatever you want to write. Yeah, there was a lot of, like, stuff that really helped me build my, like, creative self and just my kind of identity as an adult person.

00:25:22:08 - 00:25:26:22

Luna

Dude. That's awesome. How long did that relationship last? In total?

00:25:27:00 - 00:25:29:13

Jenna

There isn't really an end.

00:25:29:13 - 00:25:30:16

Jenna

Point, I.

00:25:30:16 - 00:25:46:09

Jenna

Would say, because at one point we finally decided to stop having that dynamic. But he was always someone I could go back to that I was like, you know, I'm feeling all these feelings. I need someone to hit me until I cry. Like I knew he was someone that I could trust to go back to.

00:25:46:12 - 00:25:49:01

Luna

Amazing. Are you still in contact? Sometimes.

00:25:49:03 - 00:25:52:11

Jenna

Unfortunately, he passed not too long ago.

00:25:52:11 - 00:25:52:18

Jenna

Fuck.

00:25:52:19 - 00:25:54:04

Luna

I'm so sorry to hear that.

00:25:54:06 - 00:26:00:12

Jenna

Thank you. It was. It was hard. He actually killed himself probably five years ago. Six years ago now. So.

00:26:00:14 - 00:26:02:03

Jenna

Wow. Yeah.

00:26:02:05 - 00:26:07:14

Jenna

It was heavy and a lot. That was what I started going back to therapy for. So.

00:26:07:16 - 00:26:11:08

Luna

Okay. Is there anything about that that you want to share?

00:26:11:14 - 00:26:29:14

Jenna

I mean, it was hard. I think a lot of it was kind of having to learn how to function on my own again because like I did that, you know, at the beginning. And yeah, I developed these coping mechanisms that he then played into. So then I had to kind of reconfigure how I coped with things because he wasn't there to help me with it.

00:26:29:16 - 00:26:32:09

Jenna

Wow. Holy shit.

00:26:32:11 - 00:26:38:18

Luna

During that relationship, did you see other people or were you, like, bound to this person energetically or like what was?

00:26:38:19 - 00:26:47:08

Jenna

I saw other people. I also had a boyfriend my freshman year of college. I didn't actually come out as bisexual until my sophomore year.

00:26:47:13 - 00:26:48:03

Jenna

Okay?

00:26:48:05 - 00:26:52:01

Jenna

I was in a sorority and I used to get drunk and kiss other girls.

00:26:52:01 - 00:26:56:16

Jenna

At sorority party. Amazing. Yeah, I was just like.

00:26:56:16 - 00:26:58:11

Jenna

Okay, this is what I'm into.

00:26:58:12 - 00:27:02:21

Luna

Oh my God. I spent one year, my freshman year in a sorority, and I now feel like I missed the.

00:27:02:21 - 00:27:07:03

Jenna

Point of it. I went to.

00:27:07:03 - 00:27:14:19

Jenna

Pride, our pride festival, at the end of my sophomore year, and I remember getting a button that said I hurt pro-choice boys.

00:27:14:21 - 00:27:20:16

Jenna

And I was like, this doesn't feel authentic. So then I also put a button on, said, I'm hurt. Pro-Choice girl.

00:27:20:17 - 00:27:21:19

Luna

Yes.

00:27:21:21 - 00:27:24:21

Jenna

Yeah. No, not to my mother. Oh wow.

00:27:24:21 - 00:27:26:10

Luna

How did she take it?

00:27:26:12 - 00:27:31:13

Jenna

She said, great. Can we get one of those drinks with the pineapple in it?

00:27:31:15 - 00:27:35:21

Jenna

A celebration that was an. It was not a thing at all.

00:27:35:23 - 00:27:36:19

Jenna

Like it just happened.

00:27:36:23 - 00:27:37:08

Jenna

That was it.

00:27:37:10 - 00:27:44:19

Luna

Wow. Okay. So did you explore your bisexuality? More like, how does that come up for you? It sounds like you are just open and playful.

00:27:44:19 - 00:27:50:22

Jenna

And the exploring kind of started with the drunk sorority parties. And then I started dating.

00:27:51:00 - 00:27:51:13

Jenna

Former.

00:27:51:13 - 00:28:16:14

Jenna

Partner of mine. He is trans. I feel like I should, and we kind of explored our identities together. So he was kind of exploring his trans identity while I was exploring my bisexual identity. It was kind of a weird conglomeration of things, but it kind of got me into this thought of like, oh, I've always kind of thought these parts were scary, even though they were the ones that are attached to me also.

00:28:16:14 - 00:28:17:15

Jenna

Totally.

00:28:17:17 - 00:28:30:21

Jenna

And that was kind of what kept me from stopping myself with my exploration. So I just, you know, said that I was bisexual. And then I started dating ladies and also men and just whoever else.

00:28:30:21 - 00:28:32:15

Jenna

Everyone. Yeah, yeah.

00:28:32:17 - 00:28:41:07

Luna

What else in those college years did you learn about yourself that feels particularly juicy? Or should we go on to kind of the next phase or get into specifics? What do you want to take it now?

00:28:41:09 - 00:29:01:23

Jenna

There was a lot crammed into my college, so I had actually after I ended my live in dynamic with my dorm that I had then was probably junior year, and then I actually had the same dynamic, but I was the dorm with someone who then lived in my house on the weekends.

00:29:02:01 - 00:29:11:22

Luna

Oh my gosh, how did this come to unfold? And I would love to hear all the specifics of your swishy self and like how she feels. And when one or the other part of her is activated.

00:29:12:00 - 00:29:35:05

Jenna

So the dynamic that I had, it was actually one of the fraternity guys that I met at one of said sorority parties. I think he was kind of getting into experimenting with things on his own also, and just kind of with us being in the same general space and same circles, he kind of realized that like, hey, I think this is someone that I'm comfortable experimenting with.

00:29:35:06 - 00:29:40:19

Jenna

And we started sleeping together in a very vanilla fashion. Well, vanilla for me, fashion.

00:29:40:19 - 00:29:41:05

Jenna

Cut.

00:29:41:10 - 00:29:46:09

Jenna

Vanilla is not for me. What it is for most of the general public, I don't think.

00:29:46:14 - 00:29:59:00

Luna

Can you give us a definition? Because I do get messages from vanilla people who get angry with me for being anti vanilla, and I don't consider myself anti vanilla. I in fact do like vanilla sex if it's conscious.

00:29:59:02 - 00:29:59:14

Jenna

Right?

00:29:59:16 - 00:30:15:18

Jenna

Vanilla sex is just not something that's generally enjoyable for me. So I just consider what is vanilla for me, which would be, you know, there's going to be some light, probably choking or spanking or any of those things. So I think that's kind of my baseline vanilla in my world.

00:30:15:22 - 00:30:19:17

Luna

So what are the six things that happened without even that for you?

00:30:19:19 - 00:30:33:03

Jenna

I would consider vanilla anything that there isn't any type of power exchange happening. Okay. So you know, it could be me spanking a boy. I still consider that vanilla in my world where most people wouldn't.

00:30:33:07 - 00:30:39:10

Luna

I think so if it's not an explicitly negotiated power dynamic, because that still is a power dynamic.

00:30:39:12 - 00:30:40:18

Jenna

But he wouldn't do it.

00:30:40:18 - 00:30:58:15

Jenna

At the same time, I'm doing it to him. So like it's not a negotiated like, hey, I'm going to do this thing to you. And then it's just, hey, this is what I'm into, let's do this. And it's not anything that there's an explicit like, I am the top, you are the bottom. Yeah. Type dynamic.

00:30:58:17 - 00:31:25:07

Luna

I think one of the things too, that's so tricky for me when it comes to vanilla partners in play, is my queer partners were having queer sex vanilla partners. I typically am doing sort of heteronormative stuff, and the heteronormative idea is that a man is supposed to lead. So in a vanilla situation where then the man does not leave because he thinks that in order to be a good feminist, I'm supposed to be in charge.

00:31:25:09 - 00:31:42:09

Luna

To me, I just feel stuck and lost and I don't know what to do. And so that I'm just sort of like waiting and available. And it often turns into a situation where I am a service submissive. So then I'm just doing that without him asking. But I've also been playing with like doing less unless there is more mutuality.

00:31:42:14 - 00:31:49:00

Luna

So for me it just tends to feel confusing, which is not sexy and or stagnant.

00:31:49:02 - 00:31:50:01

Jenna

Yeah, I.

00:31:50:01 - 00:31:59:19

Jenna

Have such a hard time like defining vanilla in specific terms because like, I would still consider like me pegging a man as a vanilla.

00:31:59:21 - 00:32:00:16

Jenna

Really.

00:32:00:18 - 00:32:03:05

Luna

Because it doesn't have a negotiated power dynamic.

00:32:03:07 - 00:32:03:20

Jenna

Well, and.

00:32:03:20 - 00:32:04:13

Jenna

Just because.

00:32:04:13 - 00:32:05:03

Jenna

Like.

00:32:05:05 - 00:32:09:05

Jenna

What isn't vanilla about that? Like we're doing it in missionary position.

00:32:09:07 - 00:32:11:21

Jenna

It's just me. I'm top. So like what's the goal?

00:32:11:23 - 00:32:22:01

Luna

For many people, anything with a butthole is automatically kinky. And so that's why I love these conversations, because we all societally pretend like we have some common language.

00:32:22:03 - 00:32:23:00

Jenna

We really don't.

00:32:23:00 - 00:32:38:16

Luna

Like. We have our own assumptions that we project all over each other. And I think it's why in the past I have shocked or surprised enough people, enough for them to take space from me and not fuck me after all, because I'm like, wait, I don't share your assumption. What is it? And then they're like, I don't know.

00:32:38:18 - 00:32:40:12

Jenna

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

00:32:40:16 - 00:32:54:19

Jenna

I took the fact that I was kinky off of my Tinder bio because so many people were like, assuming that they knew exactly what that meant and would slide into my DMs, like trying to dance off. And I'm like, oh no, sweetie. Like, that's not generally my dynamic.

00:32:54:23 - 00:33:00:08

Luna

Yeah. I'm like, oh no, no, no, I'm real kinky. Which means we got to talk about it before you think you can show up. And just.

00:33:00:10 - 00:33:02:02

Jenna

I have a lot of conversations here.

00:33:02:06 - 00:33:05:18

Luna

Yeah. So what else from college? We're still kind of.

00:33:05:19 - 00:33:10:12

Jenna

So that was when I kind of I started I've written a poem about every sex partner I've ever had.

00:33:10:17 - 00:33:14:11

Luna

Dude, have you shared them anywhere? Can we find them or are they on that line?

00:33:14:12 - 00:33:14:19

Jenna

Yeah.

00:33:15:00 - 00:33:17:10

Jenna

They're everywhere. I actually am in the process of.

00:33:17:10 - 00:33:18:20

Jenna

Self-publishing them in a book.

00:33:18:20 - 00:33:20:01

Luna

Yes. Okay.

00:33:20:03 - 00:33:23:03

Jenna

Submitted them to my poetry professor in college.

00:33:23:05 - 00:33:23:20

Jenna

00:33:23:22 - 00:33:28:13

Luna

When you have finished it, I hope you come back and do a guest update and share it and tell us where we can get it and read us.

00:33:28:13 - 00:33:30:02

Jenna

A couple of components. Yes.

00:33:30:04 - 00:33:38:06

Jenna

Yeah. So that was during that time that I had to live in submissive was when I really started digging into that more.

00:33:38:09 - 00:33:38:16

Jenna

Okay.

00:33:38:17 - 00:33:48:13

Jenna

That was also while I was taking the poetry class in college, and I had to turn in a portfolio at the end of the semester, so I called it anthology of a slut, and I.

00:33:48:15 - 00:33:50:12

Luna

Oh, is that what it's still called?

00:33:50:13 - 00:33:51:06

Jenna

Yes.

00:33:51:08 - 00:33:52:04

Luna

I love it.

00:33:52:10 - 00:34:24:14

Jenna

And my very first poem that I ever wrote in regards to a sexual partner was about him. And it also had a lot of very heavy, blasphemous religion in it. So that was kind of where that whole exploration into my religion thing started. And I did a lot of dominant exploration with him, and that was when I very much got into being in like female led relationships and pegging people and making people cry and all of those things.

00:34:24:14 - 00:34:45:23

Jenna

So really that like two year span that he lived with me part time was when we really dug into all of that. It started out actually with us doing a lot of public stuff. There's a group here in town that does. They are online right now, but they do a monthly like kink meet ups with just specific like educational.

00:34:45:23 - 00:34:47:07

Jenna

Events, love.

00:34:47:09 - 00:35:04:01

Jenna

They start with a class and then have a play party afterward. And there's a different theme every month. So we started going to those and that was like we would just play with whatever it was that we learned at that time, because neither of us were really, you know, super into the kink scene. So we would be like, oh, this sounds interesting.

00:35:04:01 - 00:35:07:01

Jenna

Let's go to this class. Let's learn how to do this correctly and then.

00:35:07:01 - 00:35:07:23

Jenna

Let's do it.

00:35:08:01 - 00:35:31:03

Jenna

So I think the big thing that I learned about myself during that time was that the big power wielding good feelings that I have are more that the person is willing to trust me with that kind of at some point, literally their life. So to have that, like trust in another person is like a whole different level of intimacy.

00:35:31:03 - 00:35:55:18

Jenna

I also, I just, I haven't really talked about this at all. I'm also neurodivergent, like I'm autistic and I have ADHD. So with the kink community, a lot of the things that come through explicit communication and things like that. So in a world where I have this trust in this partner, and I also can do these things that make me feel powerful and cool, and all of these things are just laid out right in front of me.

00:35:55:18 - 00:36:04:15

Jenna

So I know what's yes, what's know. Like all of those things just kind of come together to like, form the perfect situation.

00:36:04:17 - 00:36:24:12

Luna

Okay, I have not been diagnosed, but I've read a lot of literature and had a lot of handfuls of people like maybe 4 or 5 be like, are you on the spectrum? So maybe, probably what I like about the kink community is the communication. How did you develop the trust in yourself to receive that level of trust from a partner, to hold space for them?

00:36:24:12 - 00:36:38:20

Luna

Because my biggest fear is, oh shit, my brain doesn't necessarily work the same way as that person. So like they might say something and then I might make an assumption that I might think all these things and I like every little single detail. And if they don't tell me exactly right, I might hurt them and everything will be bad.

00:36:38:22 - 00:36:47:14

Luna

So that's actually the thing that has kept me from stepping into dominant roles in larger ways, even though there is a lot of interest. How does that play out for you?

00:36:47:16 - 00:37:15:04

Jenna

I think the biggest thing was developing my communication style, and a lot of that kind of calls back to that very first big, kinky relationship that I had, where it was very explicit. This is exactly what I'm going to do. This is exactly how I'm going to do it. And I've adopted that with myself. So now when I'm communicating with other people, I'm it goes even back to what we were just talking about with, you know, everyone assuming we're using the same language.

00:37:15:04 - 00:37:41:22

Jenna

So I'm like, I like breath play. This is what breath play means in my world. This is how I like to, you know, execute this breath play. Does that all sound okay to you? And so even in a non sexy situation like where we're just kind of negotiating what we like and what we're going to try and things like that, like I'm putting everything so out there that there's no gray area at all.

00:37:42:00 - 00:37:53:22

Luna

How does your neurodivergent affect your sensory experience in the world and your interpersonal relationships, communication wise? If you can answer that at all. I know that's a tough big question.

00:37:54:00 - 00:37:54:17

Jenna

No.

00:37:54:19 - 00:38:01:17

Jenna

I actually was in a poly like close triad relationship that really kind of forced me to develop that part of.

00:38:01:17 - 00:38:02:10

Jenna

Myself.

00:38:02:15 - 00:38:18:19

Jenna

Where I have always had this really, really innate, inherent, I guess, feeling that when I get overstimulated, I shut down entirely and I don't want to talk and I don't want to communicate how I'm feeling. I just want everything to shut down and stop.

00:38:18:21 - 00:38:19:12

Jenna

Okay.

00:38:19:14 - 00:38:41:06

Jenna

But I had two partners at the time who had been married to each other for 20 years before we met, so if I didn't communicate things with them, the things were not going to be interpreted or communicated, period. And there was a lot of like unhealthy relationship dynamic in there. So there was a lot that I did need to communicate.

00:38:41:08 - 00:38:54:14

Jenna

So I had to kind of force myself through that. I want to shut down. I want everything to shut down and then over communicate what felt to me like I was over communicating was actually like base level communication for him.

00:38:54:15 - 00:38:54:19

Jenna

Okay.

00:38:54:21 - 00:38:59:21

Jenna

Someone who was not in that same like sensory overstimulated situation as me.

00:38:59:23 - 00:39:15:13

Luna

I have the opposite experience so often where people are like, just stop talking now. And I'm like, I'm trying to connect. Okay? So I think I just have a totally different experience with my missives being received. When you get overstimulated, how does it show up for you?

00:39:15:15 - 00:39:46:09

Jenna

I get angry, actually, when I'm over or like, irritable, I guess. Not necessarily angry, but I'm a little more likely to like snap at someone or something along those lines. And I think I have a really good therapist actually, who is very sex and kink positive. He's a sex therapist. He's a certified sex therapist. So I'm talk about all of these things with him, and he has actually worked with me over the years to, like, force over sensory overstimulation with my partners.

00:39:46:09 - 00:39:53:01

Jenna

Basically, so I can kind of work through communicating through those overstimulation moments.

00:39:53:04 - 00:39:53:19

Jenna

Okay.

00:39:53:21 - 00:39:57:20

Luna

What kind of things Overstimulate you is it sound? Is it touches it? Everything could.

00:39:57:20 - 00:39:58:15

Jenna

Be anything.

00:39:58:16 - 00:40:00:12

Jenna

Okay? Like smells.

00:40:00:12 - 00:40:29:13

Jenna

Too many lights, too many sounds, too much touch, too much combination of any of those. So we actually came up with one of the things that I do with my current partner is that it's kind of a mix of like sensory deprivation and sensory overstimulation all at the same time. So like he'll blindfold me and put loud music on and burn candles and all of these things and also do like an impact scene while all of these other things are going on and like play with senses that way.

00:40:29:13 - 00:40:35:19

Jenna

But the way he has adapted it is he'll give me a book to read, and I have to read it out loud to him.

00:40:35:21 - 00:40:36:23

Jenna

While all this.

00:40:36:23 - 00:40:37:11

Jenna

Is going.

00:40:37:11 - 00:40:37:14

Jenna

On.

00:40:37:14 - 00:40:52:10

Luna

Dude, that is one of my actual fantasy, is that I told to a guy that I tried that they went on like two dates with recently, and he clearly thought it was weird and then didn't. We didn't hang out again. That's that's amazing out loud. You have to read it. What kind of are they? Sexy books or just anything?

00:40:52:12 - 00:40:56:11

Jenna

He generally pitch sexy books, but it could be anything. So I never.

00:40:56:11 - 00:40:58:19

Jenna

Really know what to expect. That's so.

00:40:58:19 - 00:41:01:17

Luna

Much. What is it like for your nervous system?

00:41:01:19 - 00:41:25:14

Jenna

It's really intense. So I was just having a conversation with someone about this the other day that, like, I feel like my whole life kind of just comes back to sex always. But like, the scenes you see people doing in like, Bdsm porn and, you know, even on life with people who are actually in the community and aren't doing it because they're getting paid to do it or anything like that, like they do these really aggressive, like heavy impact scenes.

00:41:25:14 - 00:41:27:16

Jenna

And that's like breaking someone.

00:41:27:18 - 00:41:31:16

Luna

What do you mean, like breaking them in or like, destroy breaking them?

00:41:31:18 - 00:41:32:23

Jenna

All of the above.

00:41:33:01 - 00:41:39:02

Luna

Okay, okay. So I'm wanting to dive into that life more. I want to understand there's a lot of social stuff.

00:41:39:06 - 00:41:39:11

Jenna

In your.

00:41:39:11 - 00:41:40:16

Jenna

Profile that exists.

00:41:40:19 - 00:41:57:14

Luna

Oh, great. Yes, it exists that there's nothing on because literally like a couple times a month, I'm like, I don't know how to show up here. And these expectations and the people I do get messages from are they're just like sweet listeners, but they're like, hey, I found you here, or it's like fucking random people that I'm like, I don't know how to explain myself.

00:41:57:16 - 00:42:11:10

Luna

Part of it is my own social fear of full pause and not understanding. So what do you mean when someone's really a part of the community versus like, sex workers don't count? Where can there be? Sex workers are part of the community.

00:42:11:12 - 00:42:12:09

Jenna

I think there.

00:42:12:09 - 00:42:21:23

Jenna

Definitely are sex workers that are a part of the community and that definitely like, I think I meant more by saying that, like people who are just doing it for public consumption.

00:42:22:01 - 00:42:43:11

Luna

Oh, they're like just super into it and want to share it. This is what I'm trying to understand in the whole wide world. And it's also why I like, stopped doing OnlyFans. Anything, because I was like, something's weird here. Oh, I'm posting nudes, but they're not the nudes people are expecting. So I've been all year long on this journey to kind of like, understand the assumptions between how sex is packaged and sold.

00:42:43:11 - 00:42:57:15

Luna

Especially since I have this podcast with a large audience and it's not monetized because I don't understand how to sell sex, because that's clarifying. So it's just differentiating between people who are not that into it, but are sharing it versus the ones that are like, this is my, oh my thing.

00:42:57:15 - 00:42:58:00

Jenna

Yeah.

00:42:58:06 - 00:43:14:13

Jenna

The ones that are actually enjoying it and are exploring and into those things. So I was talking about how, like a lot of people consider like breaking a submissive, you know, we're going to have this really, really heavy impact scene and they're crying and blah, blah.

00:43:14:13 - 00:43:15:01

Jenna

Blah.

00:43:15:01 - 00:43:41:11

Jenna

Like, and that's Bdsm to a lot of the general public, I think. So, especially with people just getting into the community, that's kind of what they expect from it. And they're like, well, I'm not going into subspace with these heavy impacts scenes. And that's me to say I love a good impact scene as much as anyone else. But also, like I'm six foot two and weigh almost 300 pounds and have played contact sports my entire life.

00:43:41:13 - 00:43:57:07

Jenna

So like a heavy impact scene is not going to do the same thing for me as that. Would someone who is smaller than me, or doesn't have that pain tolerance of being beat up your entire life? Basically, yeah. So for me, like the heavy, heavy or heavy impact that is had on there.

00:43:57:07 - 00:43:59:03

Luna

You're quoting for our audience.

00:43:59:05 - 00:44:00:22

Jenna

We're air quoting. Sorry, I forgot.

00:44:00:22 - 00:44:02:16

Jenna

Where I go here.

00:44:02:18 - 00:44:19:06

Jenna

But like the things that have the biggest impact on me are going to be the scenes where this is going to get really deep here for a second. But one of the punishments that I had recently, it was that my Dom was spanking me and making me say nice things about myself, because he has a.

00:44:19:06 - 00:44:20:03

Jenna

Rule.

00:44:20:05 - 00:44:44:22

Jenna

Allowed to speak poorly about myself. Really bad day the other day that I was just like, oh, I can't do anything right, I'm blah blah blah like. So he put me over his knee and spanked me and made me say things like, I was pretty in, I was smart and all of these things. So like, that's the kind of stuff that's going to make me like break down and cry versus, you know, getting the shit beat out of me while I had to.

00:44:44:22 - 00:44:45:11

Jenna

Bros.

00:44:45:12 - 00:44:46:12

Jenna

Fuck yeah.

00:44:46:14 - 00:44:57:15

Luna

Wow. It's amazing how catharsis can come in so many different ways depending on our actual needs of the moment. On that note of crying, it sounded like you more like to make people cry.

00:44:57:17 - 00:44:59:05

Jenna

Absolutely.

00:44:59:07 - 00:45:06:00

Luna

How did that evolve? How do you like to do it? I imagine it's pretty specific to each person, depending on what stimulates their cry.

00:45:06:02 - 00:45:07:17

Jenna

It definitely Aids.

00:45:07:17 - 00:45:19:12

Jenna

I think a lot of it started with the submissive that I had that lived with me. I remember very clearly there was one scene that we did together, that I had him chained to the ceiling in my basement.

00:45:19:16 - 00:45:20:20

Jenna

And.

00:45:20:22 - 00:45:31:07

Jenna

We were doing a really heavy impact scene, which is something that like was a very, very basic introduction to me. So like impact has always kind of been a part of my kinky experience.

00:45:31:09 - 00:45:32:20

Jenna

But we did a very heavy.

00:45:32:21 - 00:45:55:08

Jenna

Heavy, heavy impact scene that I was using, basically all of the impact implements that I own and was just like wailing on. I have them all hanging on my bedroom wall upstairs, but I have flaggers. I have at least 5 or 6 flaggers, a bunch of canes, riding crops. I have also been known to just use a variety of household items that I'm like, oh, this might be fun.

00:45:55:10 - 00:46:19:19

Jenna

So I have picked up some things over the years that, you know, I've used rope as an impact toy. I've used silicone dildos as an impact toy, like all of these things, but I was using all of those and basically hitting him as hard as I could, and he was crying. And I took that to mean that he was using his safe word because he did not.

00:46:19:22 - 00:46:26:17

Jenna

But I was like, you know, this is new to both of us. Yeah. And I stopped and he was like, why are you stopping?

00:46:26:17 - 00:46:34:00

Jenna

Don't stop. And I was like, I'm really glad you said that because I didn't want to. Oh, wow.

00:46:34:01 - 00:46:41:19

Jenna

I've gotten to the point in my life I feel like this is the perfect time to share this, that I can come without being touched.

00:46:41:21 - 00:46:43:08

Jenna

You can.

00:46:43:10 - 00:46:44:16

Jenna

And so hearing.

00:46:44:16 - 00:46:45:08

Jenna

Him, like.

00:46:45:08 - 00:46:52:23

Jenna